oh good gods what am i doing

100 Dialogue Prompts: Part 4

It’s amazing to see how much we can create together, my amigos. Here’s part 4.

  1. “Look, I might be evil but even I have standards.”
  2. “Do your parents know you’re dating Death?” “No, I promised we wouldn’t get back together after he broke up with me the first time.”
  3. “Wait why am I naked and covered in cheese?”
  4. “Good god, that cake is fuckin stale and dry mate!!” “Just like how you are recently? Gee, thanks.”
  5. "There is always time for a high-five.”
  6. “Karen, what would ever posses you to find me here.”
  7. “Oh my god, put that man down! Come on, let’s go get you some REAL food.”
  8. “A demonic sugar glider?”
  9. “People always say they never thought they would be here but I absolutely did.”
  10. “And I thought I was a bit weird. But you! You are insane!”
  11. “So your hair knows kung-fu? Ha, that’s nothing! MY hair knows HAIR-ATE!” (You know, as in karate) (This used to be an insider between me and a friend…)
  12. “One day, darling, you and I are going to conquer the Universe not just our world.”
  13. “Did you seriously think they wouldn’t notice when their humans went missing?!”
  14. “Well, maybe next time you should consider that not everyone wants to be woken up at four in the morning by a- what IS that, anyway?!”
  15. “Now, how exactly did your foot get stuck in the barrel?”
  16. “I hope you realize what you’re doing. This forest never ends, you know that, right?”
  17. “You can’t just kill someone and then make it all better by saying sorry!”
  18. “Why the fuck is my cat levitating?!” “He said he wanted to feel what flying was”
  19. “You’re trying to tell me you killed three men…with a microphone?”
  20. “Hang on, are you a John Wick fan?”
  21. “IT’S TWO IN THE MORNING!” “And?” “ I have a strict no murder rule until eight. Call me then.”
  22. “I did realize you were going to be naked the whole time”
  23. “Ok, I understand you like animals, but you can’t just bring a tiger into the apparent without asking!”
  24. “I…I didn’t want you to find out like this. I’m so sorry.”
  25. “OH MY GOD CATHERINE! I JUST SAW A NARWHAL! I’M TELLING YOU, I SAW A FREAKIN’ WHALE UNICORN!”
  26. “I gotta go, I left my toaster in the oven!
  27. "Why is there a gaggle of fancy buisness men on my front lawn?”
  28. “Can you please stop referring to me as ____! That’s not my name!” “Then what is?” “I don’t know!”
  29. *Sarcastic* “Yeah, sure. I won’t at all mind being your footslave.” “Oh, goody! I knew you’d agree!” “Wait, what?”
  30. “When are you going to give up on this whole ‘evil’ thing?” “When it stops being so much fun!”
  31. “You didnt say to KILL the man!” “WELL I DIDNT SAY NOT TOO”
  32. “Mum, Dad… I’m gay.” “That’s nice, honey, but now is not the right time!”
  33. “Take a look at your soul and consider your life choices! Oh wait, that’s right! You don’t fucking have a soul!” “Oh, god, just go drown in a bathtub of syrup why don’t ya?”
  34. “I kindly ask you to please quit making your heart stop. It’s creeping me out!” “So… Y-You were sleeping in a coffin” “Yeah I’m used to it” “Are you a vampire or what?! How can someone get used to sleep in a coffin?” “No I’m used to sleep I never said that I’m used to sleep in a freaking coffin!”
  35. “Darling I love you, more than I can ever express in words…. But please stop teaching chickens necromancy.”
  36. “I wanted to know why you stole souls, not your melodramatic backstory…”
  37. “I really wish that old white man would stop rubbing his nipples at me”
  38. “You know it is written: Do not summon Satan, right ?”
  39. “Look around, what is this?” “My room?” “No, this is pathetic.”
  40. “I’ve been a professor for 20 years, and yet still my greatest secret hasn’t been revealed–I can’t read.”
  41. “Our souls don’t belong in these 'human’ bodies, every one of us is implanted here from another galaxy, and this has been the case for a thousand years. No one knows what 'actual humans’ are like without us inhabiting them.”
  42. “Did you just create a portal in time and space to pull another version of yourself into this world so I have to deal with another annoying idiot?” “No but thanks for the idea.”
  43. “You’re bleeding?!” “Nah, I’m frolicing in a field of flowers - yes I’m bleeding!”
  44. “Let me get this straight. I tell you that I make a decent omelette and you somehow equate that to qualification for piloting a spaceship?”
  45. “It’s the weekend! Let’s hit the town! See a concert, redo our wardrobes, get high, start a crime ring, I don’t know.”
  46. “Keep running, you’ve only got 4HP!”
  47. “This is clearly your first time. Stop screaming already, you’ll wake the neighbors!”
  48. “Has anyone seen the outdoors?” “What the fuck is an outdoors?”
  49. “Why do I feel like this again, I thought we were done with this?”
  50. “Look, as much as I like to hang out with you, I’ve gotta go and save the earth. Toodles!”
  51. “Have you seen?… oh shit”
  52. “Two questions: one, how many matches do you have, and two, where do you keep your socks?”
  53. “Because fuck surveys, that’s why!”
  54. “Stop yelling out the window or the koalas will rip your face off!”
  55. “I guess when I heard 'Night of Debauchery’… I didn’t picture muffins on your pajamas.”
  56. “Honey, you can’t keep throwing people to the pit of pain and despair just because they don’t like choc mint ice cream.”
  57. “Oh, no honey, put that back…”
  58. “It’s going to be too late, you know. It’s always too late.”
  59. “Hey, so, uh… I’m in trouble…” “What did you do this time?” “I got stranded in Wales….. again…”
  60. “OK, but… how do we get the dog out of a hole in space in time exactly?”
  61. “Aren’t people supposed to grow instead of shrink ?”
  62. “Wait. You’re aroused?” “Why would that surprise you?” “It does on account of you being covered in blood. Wipe that smile off your face. You look like a cat in heat.”
  63. "I pay your taxes”
  64. “No, ____. We did not raise our hamster like this.”
  65. “You can’t run from your own shadow(s), what makes you think you can run from theirs?”
  66. “You adopted… a dog?” “Mate, that’s not a dog.”
  67. “And at this moment, he decided to punch himself in the face.” “Narrator, listen, I know you’ve been with me my whole life, but you’re a huge jerk.”
  68. “Why didn’t you tell me it was a portal BEFORE we ended up here?”
  69. “Is that…the Mona Lisa.” “…Yes…” “What did I say to you about stealing priceless artifacts!?” “…That I had to take you with me next time.” “Exactly!”
  70. “Yes, I agree, magic is pretty cool. But did you really have to use it for THIS?”
  71. “Despite the fact that was epic, you’re still suspended”
  72. “Chill, dad it’s not what you think it is!” “Well it looks like you’re making out with the demon your grandma banished to cellar…WHY IS HE IN YOUR ROOM?”
  73. “If you truly love me you’ll let me-OH FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST STAB ME!?”
  74. “Spoon”
  75. “What began as a conflict over the transfer of consciousness from flesh to machines escalated into a war which has decimated a Million worlds.The ___ and the ___ have all but exhausted the the resources of a galaxy in their struggle for domination. Both sides, now crippled beyond repair, the remnants of their armies continue to battle on ravaged planets, their hatred fueled by over four thousand years of total war. This is a fight to the death. For each side, the only acceptable outcome is…“
  76. ”… I’m going back to bed. You brought it here, you can deal with the mammoth yourself.“
  77. "Is the food supposed to be moving?”
  78. “You mean to tell me that in the two minutes I was gone,  you bombed a minor country,  got married to a stripper,  and assassinated a world leader?!”
  79. “Is that a unicorn???? EATING MY BEEF JERKY?!”
  80. “Do I get to dream about you again tonight?”
  81. “Well now I have to change clothes AGAIN!”
  82. “All of this was because of a… OF A PLUSHIE?!” “Well…Yeah?” “Great, how are we going to get out of jail now?!”
  83. “So…you gonna tell me why my brother is upside down and why you’re wearing my purple thong?”
  84. “Did you really have to burn down another Cracker Barrel?”
  85. “Sir, that’s impossible, you can’t do that.” “IS THAT A FUCKING CHALLENGE?!?!”
  86. “We need to invade Portugal.” “…Sure, why not?”
  87. “Did you divide by zero?! YOU’RE GOING TO KILL US ALL”
  88. “Stand down, Milady, this is a matter between gentlemen with mustaches.”
  89. “Next time you get arrested I am NOT paying your bail” “That’s a lie and you know it.” “….”
  90. “I thought you were dead.” “So did I”
  91. “John dont flush the dog down the toilet”
  92. “What did I say again about resurrecting dictators??”
  93. “Cucumbers are NOT pets… what do you mean, you ate him??”
  94. “Are you and God seriously fighting right now? And what happened to Satan?”
  95. “Are ferrets supposed to be blue??”
  96. “I’m the protagonist? Well I guess that explains why I look like about a thousand other people.”
  97. “Why do I do this to myself?”
  98. “Stop eating your tortilla chips with ketchup. It’s unattractive.”
  99. “How do you eat an entire cheese wheel in one sitting?”
  100. “Why are God and Satan moving in with us?”

Let’s make one more ‘100 Dialogue Prompts’ list together. Leave a comment with your prompt below. Don’t forget the double quotes “”. And as always, only one prompt per amigo! Also, here is your random Dutch word of the day: pindakaas

nightmare starters part 2

for part 1 click here!

“Will you please tell me what they’re about?! How do you expect me to help if you don’t tell me?!”
“You should go and see someone about those nightmares. They’re only getting worse, aren’t they?”
“Can we sleep with the lights on?”
“I haven’t slept peacefully in weeks.”
“I can’t tell you my nightmare this time… It’s too bad, I don’t want to have to say it out loud.”
“Can I sleep in your room? I don’t think I’ll be able to fall asleep in my own bed.”
“I’m sorry for waking you… I had a really bad nightmare.”
“I can’t stop thinking about that weird dream I had weeks ago. It’s like it’s haunting me.”
“You look exhausted. Bad night?”
“Calm down, calm down. It was just a dream. It’s over now.”
“You’re overreacting. Everyone has bad dreams sometimes. No need to get all weird about it.”
“Are you still thinking about that nightmare? I’m sure it didn’t mean anything, okay? We’re not in a horror movie.”
“You should go to the doctor. These nightmares are making you miss sleep and you’re always exhausted. Get help.”
“How about you come and sleep in my bed? I’ll watch over you while you fall asleep, I promise.”
“I think I’d feel less tired if I didn’t sleep at all anymore. These nightmares are killing me.”
“I thought you didn’t get them anymore.”
“I guess it was a bad idea to watch a horror movie before bed…”
“When will you finally tell me what they’re about?”
“Wow, you look exhausted. Did you sleep at all last night?”
“Oh my god, that was horrible… that was so horrible…”
“How about you sleep in my bed for the coming days? It can be like a sleepover. I’m sure you’ll feel good enough and the nightmares will stay away!”
“I can’t breathe! It was real, it was!”
“Have you tried writing them down? They might go away if you do…”
“Have you any idea how worried I am? Please tell me what’s up with you or I can’t help! You look exhausted!”
“Please leave the light on.”
“Have you any idea what’s causing these nightmares?”
“I don’t think you understand how exhausting it is to not have had a good night’s rest in weeks.”

To be young

Title: To be young

Pairing: Reader x Peter Parker

Summary: Y/N has lived next to Peter since the 3rd grade and since has fallen hard for him, but Y/N doesn’t know he’s fallen just as hard. 

Word count: 2,145

Songs: Midnight City by M83, Uh huh by Julia Michaels

A/N: This is my first Imagine ever so I’m sorry for the grammar mistakes and if i messed up the point of view a little bit, I’m practicing and heres my first go at it! I hope you guys enjoy it! Also its not a concrete idea yet but i might make more parts to this 



  “Hey, MJ does Peter ever talk about me?” you ask staring across the lunch room at the boy you’ve had a crush on ever since you laid eyes on him in the 3rd grade. You hear Michelle sigh and close her book “Y/N just go over there and talk to him.” your eyes widen at your best friend for suggesting such a thing. “I can’t just go over there and talk to him without cause, plus..” you sigh sinking further into your seat at the lunch table “he likes Liz, remember?” Just before Michelle can get a word in about your lack of confidence towards guys, the bell rings signaling the end of lunch and beginning of the five minuet passing period to the next class.

You quickly gather your things heading out of the lunchroom and to your next class, gym.

“Hey, Y/N wait up!” you hear the familiar voice of Liz speak as everyone makes their way out of the locker rooms and into the main gym. You falter in your walk just a little hearing Liz say your name, you haven’t ever really been friends or even acquaintances with her since knowing that Peter has a crush on the girl. “Yes?” you smile as she slows her pace next to you “I’m having a party tomorrow night at my place, do you wanna come?” your mind goes blank for a minuet, Liz is asking me to her party? what? “I already asked Michelle if she could come and she said you were free so i thought i’d ask.” Liz practically read your mind, so Michelle is to blame, she’s gonna pay. “Yea, sure I’ll come, it sounds fun.” She smiles before she runs off ahead of you. “Hey Flash,” You hear her shout before she vanishes into the crowd of teenagers.

“Alright, well i think he’s a war criminal now but these are state required so lets get to work .” The gym teacher spoke after the video of Captain America ended waving his hand for everyone to get down from the bleachers and take their places on the mats.

You finally spot Michelle in the crowd of teenagers and grabbed ahold of her arm before she could lay on a mat. “Hey could we be partners?” You ask letting go of your bestie laying on the mat, “Mind if we take this mat next to you guys?” A voice that made your heartstrings tingle spoke, you quickly turn your head to see Peter laying down and getting ready to go his first sit-up. “No-not at all.” you blush and turn on your other side to come face to face with a book “Michelle” You groan louder than intended, “We’re suppose to be doing sit-ups.” You grab the book tilting it away from her face, Michelle sighs and turns on her back pushing her book up and down from her face “There happy, I’m exercising now.” She mumbled making you laugh slightly.

“Hey what about Spider-Man?” You sit up and whip your head around to the bleachers where a certain group of popular girls were sitting, “What about him Liz? You got a crush?” a friend of hers teased, “Well I mean yes he’s pretty hot but he’s also a hero you can’t leave him out.” You could see a slight pink shade her cheeks after she spoke.

“Hey, uh Peter knows Spider-Man!” Ned practically yelled from the mat next to you, what? how does Peter know Spider-Man? I mean maybe he got saved by him? But what? You were pulled from your thoughts when Peter spoke, “Well Uh  we-wel yes i do, because of the Stark internship i have but i’m not suppose to talk about it.” Peter spoke through gritted teeth when he ended his sentence. “Wait Penis Parker knows Spider-Man? And has a Stark internship? Wow this is too good, what other lies ya got?” Flash finally joined the conversation. You sighed and turned your attention back to laying down and staring at the ceiling till the end of the period.

“Well if you know him so well why don’t you invite him to Liz’s party tomorrow night?” Flash asked sarcasm clear in his voice, “Wait-wait Liz is having a party?” You perked up again at the sound of Peter’s slightly hurt voice. “Yeah, tomorrow night, my parents are out of town, you and Ned are more than welcome to come and you don’t gotta bring Spider-Man.” You could practically hear the smile in Peters voice when he replied “No-No yeah I’d love to come.” You rolled your eyes and tried to drown out the rest of the conversation.

“Okay, see ya tomorrow.” Liz spoke before the bell rang, finally. You make your way back to the locker room and change out of the gym uniform and into your regular clothes.

Well tomorrow night should be interesting, I wonder if Peter really knows Spider-Man you smile at the thought, that’d be fucking awesome.

Michelle and you took the bus together after school planning on having a sleepover and carpooling to Liz’s party the next day. “I can’t believe you already said i would go without asking me.” you lightly punch Michelle on the arm while getting ready for bed. “Hey what better things do you have going on tomorrow, staring at peter though the peep hole of your apartment again?” Michelle teased, you gasped and placed your hand on your heart pretending to be hurt by the comment. “Michelle that is an important activity and I cannot miss it.” You dramatically said and plopped down onto your bed for the night, the couch. Michelle and you always sleep on her couch for sleepovers, its big enough and comfy as hell.

“Oh whatever Y/N.” she groaned taking her place on the couch and turning on the tv. Within minuets your eyes start to get heavy, you finally give into the sleep tugging at you and fall asleep.


“Thanks for the ride!” you shout at Michelle’s dad before Michelle slams the car door shut. MJ and you start towards the front door already hearing the loud music coming from inside. “Michelle are you sure about this?” You ask grabbing her arm forcing her to stop and look at you “Look Y/N, when are you ever gonna do something like this ever again. Plus, its all apart of the high school experience.” She shrugged making her way to the front door and inside with you trailing behind her.

You were immediately greeted by Liz and shown the way to the kitchen “incase you need something to drink” Liz told you leaving you and focused her attention back onto the party. “Ok so now I Just wait for something to happen?” you spoke to yourself as you grabbed a red solo cup and filled it with water from the fridge. You made your way out of the kitchen and to the couch in the living room, where did MJ go? I’m like the only other person besides Liz she knows here so where - your thoughts were interrupted when your eyes met with the chocolatey eyes of the boy you’ve been waiting for all night.

You smile towards Peter earning a grin back from him before his attention was sent somewhere else, probably Flash shouting “wheres your friend Spider-man? I don’t see him..” You rolled your eyes and made your way over to the duo standing in the middle of the hallway, “Hey hey guys,” you nervously spoke “Finally made it.” you smiled over at Ned, his attention on the rest of the party and not you. “Yeah we got-” Peter got interrupted by a shout from the family room “If you wanna play a game come to the family room now!” you felt a hand wrap around your arm before you could protest you were in the family room seated next to Liz, Peter diagonally across from you with ned next to him and Michelle on your other side.

“Alright,” you heard Liz speak next to you “what game should we play.” a couple of hands flew up in the air and some people shouted suggestions. “How about Seven Minuets In Heaven?!” one voice shouted louder than the others, you looked over at Liz to see she was already ginning with a bottle being handed to her. “Seven Minuets In Heaven it is.” She quickly snapped her head over at you “Y/N, you spin first.” she shoved the bottle into your hand.

“No-no I’m really fine-” you didnt get to finish when you felt a sharp pain in your side from Michelle, your head spun to her side giving her a “what the hell!” look and receiving a shrug in response. You sucked in a breath, all apart of the high school experience right? you tried to reason with yourself. You put the bottle on its side on the ground and spun it, your heat begins beating faster and faster as it comes to a slow down. The bottle finally comes to a stop and your eyes rake up to where it landed, Peter Parker.

You gulped waiting for his reaction as people around him whopped for him but he just sat there eyes wide. “come one you too!” Liz sounded so gleeful and lightly shoved my shoulder for me to get up. Peter must’ve took that as a hint as well and stood up “Wher-uh What closet should we go to?” Peter asked clearing his voice. “the one right at the top of the stairs, we’ll make sure no one goes in.” Liz smiled at Peter and you while you made your way up the stairs. Oh god, what am i going to do, what if he doesn’t want to do anything with me? what if he kisses me and I’m not a good kisser or my breathe stinks- you were ripped out of your thoughts as the closet door was closed and Peter and you were left in the dark.

“uh we-we don’t have to do anything.” you whispered barely audible as you watched Peter set a timer on his phone for seven minuets. “Wh-why don’t we ask each other questions?” Peter asked making a blush creep onto your face, thank god this closet is dark and peters phone light is horrible. “sure-e” you nervously stutter, “you first.” you poke his chest earning a small laugh from him. “Okay, is it true that you have a 4.0 grade average?” You couldn’t help the laugh that  escaped your lips, “What?” Peter asked you could hear the confusion in his voice, “thats the question you wanna ask?” you placed your hand on Peters arm, what am I doing? I’m movign way too fast, “Is that bad?” Peter moved closer to you making you back up into the wall of the closet, your smile fading and a deeper bush replacing it. “uh-no no, I’d just rather not answer it.” You spoke truthfully, “alright,” you could see the smile form on peters face as he inched closer to you.

“your turn.” he whispered making your breath hitch in your throat, he’s so close, if i just move forward slightly i’d finally have my first kiss and with the guy of my dreams, you thought. “you got a question yet?” Peters smile started fading looking into your eyes, “uh- yes, did you really make your own computer?” your eyes scanned peters, he’s so close you can see his beautiful brown ombre iris’s, dark brown to a slightly lighter brown. Your breath hitched in your throat again as Peter flashed his eyes down to your lips for a split second. You start to lean into him, closer and closer to his face when your lips just barely graze each other and then Peters phone goes off.

He jumped back slightly from the sudden noise and looked down at his phone, “Has it already been seven minuets?” You laugh slightly feeling embarrassed for getting so intimate with Peter. “No..” he paused looking up from his phone and into your eyes “But i gotta, I’m really sorry Y/N, I gotta go.” He shook his head slightly before opening the closet and leaving you behind. you stood there shocked, not able to move. Peter and I almost kissed was all you could think as a deep blush crept back onto your face.

You exited the closet and went to see if you could find him at the party anywhere. you got a few weird looks after asking some people if they saw him anywhere but no one could help, not even Ned knew where Peter went.

“Well it’s too bad, we didn’t even get to see his ‘friend’ Spider-Man.” Flash spoke sarcastically to you, you just turned around to go look for MJ and tell her about what had happened, how you almost kissed your life long crush and how he almost kissed you back.

  • me two weeks ago : oh my god this show is literally the worst thing that has ever been created, end it now, it's ruining my life and it's not even good
  • me now : *crying on the floor* please don't take pll away from me it's all I have, it's a mess but so am I, I need this show to live

lurkeymclurker  asked:

Can you tell us about the Empires propaganda machine?

Later, after, in all the holonews segments and all the long ‘net articles furnishing further analysis, they—and here ‘they’ is vaguely defined, reporting is is too scattershot in a galaxy marked by lightyears and hyperlanes—will not be able to pinpoint the place where they went wrong. Where it was all tipped from earnest republican v. separatist reporting to laying the groundwork for imperial v. everyone else. When they stopped, or when their blades met with armor they couldn’t pierce, or—

But by then it’s too late. It’s too late, the Empire is already wound itself through every word spoken and every reference made; it’s in everything, a dark undercurrent of emotion and justification—don’t you love the Republic? don’t you care about other galactic citizens? don’t you want to follow the laws and reward those who have justified their existence as you have justified yours? you have worked so hard, the day is long and the rewards few, why would you give those to others? why would you share?

(’Sharing’ is a dirty word, under the Empire. To each according to his strength, that is the Imperial motto. But ‘strength’ is a narrow gate, and it cuts many off at the knees, the ankles, those unguarded places—)

There is no question that human beings are afraid of difference they have been afraid of that since whatever primordial swamp they crawled out of but—they have always put it aside, they have always at least pretended to the idea of recognizing other species, the claim of xenos to homeworlds. the equal right of existence. Et cetera. Never mistake how hard human beings will try, when confronted with tentacles, if there is profit or benefit in ignoring any difference.

But humans also reproduce like orburs in spring, and they colonize, multiply out into the galaxy like a plague. Like a—spore. Like something biological and not, because nothing in nature moves without regard to the animus they generate. And they are a tetchy species, measuring everything in relative value. It doesn’t matter if—

Luke does not stop to question the holoradio adverts he hears, the faded propos papering the Toshe public hall, saying ‘JOIN THE EMPIRE TODAY! FLY FOR THE EMPIRE! BE BRAVE BE TRUE BE STALWART!’ Anywhere is better than here, right? Get closer to that bright center and anything is better—

(It is still hard to find that bright line between the Republic under the tyranny of the Clone Wars and the perpetual state the Empire embodies. That is just how these things go.)

Leia is on the first line of defense for the Rebellion, she watches propos and listens to senators argue, quoting lines from holodramas—ironically, but also as illustrations. (She learns very young that a well-told story, even fictional, has quicker legs than one badly told and true. She disapproves, but that is the way of things.) It is amazing how many late Republicans would have supported he Empire despite explicitly stating they did not support the Empire, its agents, or any move toward a less democratic structure of government. It is amazing how weak it makes them seem, given what she knows about the inner workings of the capitol. It is—

Han is good at finding cantinas where, if the Imperial propos cut into he grav-ball match, everyone groans aloud. He smiles a little against the curve of the mug as everyone curses out the poor bastard who has to—

(Han always feels a little bad for him. Her. Whoever—he knows what it’s like to have your neck under someone’s boot, to know you don’t really have choice in this. At least he’s busy smuggling, can’t be much a spokesperson that way.)

The Resistance does not have the access the Empire does, but the Rebellion has feed hackers, holonet ‘ware corrupters. The Alliance blasts every inbox with public reveals of complaints, salaries, donations. Saw Guerra’s people de-encrypt transmissions, and release them to the ‘net in vicious anarchic fashion. (Make of it what you will, that Tarkin sent a transmission to Krennic saying ‘stop being so gentle on your workforce,’ after Krennic’s 12-hour days resulted in its first overworked, dehydrated, malnourished death.)

Regional reporters dump their findings onto the holonet, saying, look at what the governor is doing, we buried the jedi but we found, we—

look, they say in unison. look at this. you are not alone. you are not crazy. something has shifted, something significant has changed and you are not alone in thinking this. We are here, together, and this is dangerous, this is—

you are not alone. you are right, your perception of the world is—there is an objective reality, and they depart from it. you are right. you are sane. it is the galaxy that has gone insane in the interim.

“Senator?” the holonet reporter asks, when Mon Mothma falls silent, and she is smiling down at the podium. “Senator, if you could—”

“According to the study conducted by the Galactic Agency for—” she begins, and the briefing room falls so quiet she is afraid she has lost them. But there is a holonet reporter in the first row who has pressed her hand to her mouth, even as her eyes are wide, fixed on Mon’s face; and out of the corner of her eye, Mon can see Leia Organa (so much Bail and Breha’s daughter, even now) pressing her lips together, her eyes shut. And this is good. They are good, they are better. Here is the study. Here is the definition. Here is the closest she knows how to get to objective reality.

She justifies. From the root word, meaning justice. Meaning to make right. Meaning, more than what is what is available on the surface, more than what is unquestioned. More. 

So much more.

kidnapped/imprisoned starter sentences

“Not eating the food I give you is not going to make me give you nicer food.”
“You should be grateful I come down here and talk to you at all.”
“Listen to me or I’ll treat you even worse.”
“I picked you off the street because you were beautiful. You should feel flattered.”
“You don’t need freedom if I give you everything you need.”
“You can come out of the basement if you give me a very good reason to let you.”
“What’s this? Are you trying to get away from me? You should know better.”
“Get on your knees and pray I’ll forgive you.”
“Oh, you’re hungry? Sing me a song and you can have my leftovers.”
“Don’t cry, I’m keeping you safe down here, away from the world. You don’t need it. You only need me.”
“Freedom is a burden. You should be glad I took it away from you.”
“I bought you some new clothes. Please wear them tonight at dinner.”
“You don’t get to decide anything, understood? I make the rules and you obey them if you want to remain unharmed.”
“You’re nothing but a little doll I get to play with.”
“I own you.”
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to take away your virginity just like that. I’m saving it for something special.”
“I’m not going to kill you. Not yet.”
“If you’re good, you can shower with warm water today.”
“Crying won’t make me stop hurting you. It just encourages me.”
“You’re so young…”
“I love it when you scream, but I will only stop when you can’t scream anymore.”
“I’m sorry, I completely forgot you were still down here.”
“There’s someone coming to join me tonight. I’m sure you’ll be quiet, or I’ll have to kill my guest again and it’ll be your fault.”
“You’re going to have some company tonight. Try to think of him/her as your little brother/sister. I want you to do to him/her what I do to you, understood?”
“I’m bringing some friends along to show them how well trained you are.”
“How dare you talk to me like that. Wash your mouth, with soap. Now.”
“It’s been a pleasure watching you grow up. Your mummy and daddy would have been so proud of you.”
“I brought you some food. Now crawl over here and lick it out of the bowl like a good pet.”
“I think you should remind me why you’re worth keeping alive down here.”
“Tell me how much you love me and you can have your dinner.”

“Hello? Is anyone down here?!”
“Oh my god, what is this place? How can you still be alive? I’ll get you help! Please hold on.”
“You don’t have to hide from me. I’m trying to help you. I won’t hurt you, I promise.”
“What happened to you? How long have you been kept here?”
“Hello? Where am I?! Who are you?”
“Have you ever tried to escape? Do you think it’s possible if we work together?”
“It’s the police! Show yourself!”
“Is that really you? Oh my god, I found you, I can’t believe I found you…”

SEND ONE IF WE HAVEN'T INTERACTED

Friendly:

“Hi, I’m new here, can you show me around?”
“Uh.. I think I’m lost.”
“Wow, those are some awesome threads!”
“Don’t mind me, I just like making new friends!”
“Oh dear, do you need help?”
“You look like you could use a hand.”
“You look a little lost, can I be of assistance?”

Rude:

“Watch where you’re going.”
“Oops, did I do that?.. Oh well.”
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
“Get lost, would ya?”
“I don’t have time to play tour guide.”
“Thankfully, it’s not my job to help you.”

Dramatic:

“Wait! Stop!”
“Don’t let them find us.”
“I don’t wanna be left alone.”
“Get out of the way!”
“Are you dead?”
“Hurry! Run!”

Flirty:

“Can I skip dinner and go right for dessert?”
“I think I just found the most beautiful girl in Japan.”
“Hey there, Foxy Mama.”
“Huh? Oh yeah, this view is nice.”
“How about we go back to my place? I’ve got board games.”
“All you have to do is say, "yes”.

Romantic:

“Wow, your eyes are the most beautiful, that I’ve ever seen.”
“I’ve been enchanted by your amazing voice.”
“Ah, I’m sorry, I could have sworn you were an angel.”
“Am I dreaming, or do you really exist?”
“I wasn’t aware that Goddesses/Gods existed.”
“No flower or scenery can compare to your beauty.”

Enemy:

“At long last! I’ve finally found you! Now I can kill you!”
“What an ugly mug, it’s a good thing I won’t have to see you for long.”
“How would you like to be full of holes?”
“You know, I think your head looks better detached from your body. ”
“I will make you experience unimaginable pain.”
“Beg all you want, but your fate is going to end the same way.”

Unemotional:

“Love is illogical, it means nothing to me.”
“The more you cry, the more reasons I find to leave your pathetic being.”
“Do not touch me, I don’t require affection from anyone.”
“Why are you hugging me?”
“He’s dead, let’s move on.”
“Why is family so important to you?”.

★*゚‘゚・The Mummy (1999)

❝ What are you doing here? ❞
❝ You must go. Save yourself. Only you can resurrect me. ❞
❝ By eating the sacred scarabs, I would be cursed to stay alive forever. And by eating me, they were cursed just the same. ❞
❝ I knew this was gonna be a lousy day. ❞
❝ Personally, I would like to surrender. Why can we not just surrender? ❞
❝ Then let’s run away. Right now. While we can still make it. ❞
❝ Now gimme your revolver, you’ll never use it anyway. ❞
❝ Let’s play dead, huh? Nobody ever does that anymore. ❞
❝ What are ya doing?! Wait up! ❞
❝ I’m gonna get you for this! ❞
❝ I’m sorry, it was an accident. ❞
❝ Have you no respect for the dead? ❞
❝ Where did you get this? ❞
❝ Two questions. Who the hell is Seti the First? And was he rich? ❞
❝ As the Americans would say: it’s all fairy tales and hokum. ❞
❝ I’m sure it was a fake, anyway. ❞
❝ You lied to me! ❞
❝ I lie to everybody, what makes you so special? ❞
❝ And what is he in prison for? ❞
❝ He said… he was just looking for a good time. ❞
❝ What did you find? What did you see? ❞
❝ Get me the hell outta here. ❞
❝ I will give you one hundred pounds to spare his life. ❞
❝ Yeah, I’d like ya to let me go. ❞
❝ Then we will kill her, we will kill her and all those with her. ❞
❝ For all the money we’re paying you, something better god-damned well be under that sand. ❞
❝ Do you really think he’ll show up? ❞
❝ Personally, I think he’s filthy, rude and a complete scoundrel. I don’t like him one bit. ❞
❝ I have come to protect my investment, thank you very much. ❞
❝ I only gamble with my life, never my money. ❞
❝ What makes you so confident, sir? ❞
❝ Sorry, didn’t mean to scare ya. ❞
❝ Still angry that I kissed ya, huh? ❞
❝ The last time I was at that place everybody I was with died.  ❞
❝ By the way,… why did you kiss me? ❞
❝ You always did have more balls than brains. ❞
❝ Can you swim? ❞
❝ Americans. ❞
❝ I can’t believe the price of these fleabags. ❞
❝ All night you snored!  ❞
❝ What in bloody hell is this? ❞
❝ Ah, begging your pardon, but shouldn’t we be going? ❞
❝ You boys owe me five hundred dollars. ❞
❝ Where’d all these camels come from? ❞
❝ That thing gives me the creeps. ❞
❝ What are those mirrors for? ❞
❝ Who cares? I don’t see no treasure. ❞
❝ You’re welcome to my share of the spider webs. ❞
❝ Mummies, my good son, this is where they made the mummies. ❞
❝ Ya scared the bejeezus out of us. ❞
❝ I’ve had worse. ❞
❝ Let’s be nice, children, if we’re going to play together, we must learn to share. ❞
❝And when those dirty Yanks go to sleep – No offence. ❞
❝ We’ll sneak up and steal that book right out from under them. ❞
❝ What do you suppose killed him? ❞
❝ I believe if I can see it and I  can touch it, then it’s real. That’s what I believe. ❞
❝ Why do you like to fight so much? ❞
❝ LEAVE THIS PLACE!… LEAVE THIS PLACE DIE! ❞
❝ For them to protect it like this, you just know there’s got to be treasure down there. ❞
❝ …I am a librarian! ❞
❝ I can’t believe I allowed the two of you to get me drunk. ❞
❝ You dream about dead guys? ❞
❝ Stupid superstitious bastard. ❞
❝ Oh my god, he was buried alive. ❞
❝ What are you going to do? Shoot him? ❞
❝ Did you see that!? Grasshoppers! Billions of grasshoppers! ❞
❝ That’s one of the plagues, right? The grasshopper plague! ❞
❝ Oh thank goodness, you’re one of the Americans, aren’t you? ❞
❝ RUN, YOU SONS-A-BITCHES! RUUUUN! ❞
❝ Help me,… please,… help me. ❞
❝ No mortal weapons can kill this creature. He is not of this world. ❞
❝ You left me! You left me in the desert to rot. ❞
❝ Sweet Jesus! That tasted just like,…like… ❞
❝ You saved me from the undead. For this, I shall make you immortal. ❞
❝ There’s only one person I know who can possibly give us some answers. ❞
❝ And you think this justifies killing innocent people!? ❞
❝ Okay, let’s cut to the chase. He’s afraid of cats, what’s that about? ❞
❝ The hell with that! I’m not goin’ nowhere! We’re safe here. ❞
❝ What friend? You’re my only friend. ❞
❝ What are you looking for? Lie, and I’ll slit your throat. ❞
❝ Something about bringing his dead girly-friend back to life. He needs the book… ❞
❝ Ya know, ever since I met you, my luck has been for crap. ❞
❝ The hell with this. I’m goin, downstairs to get me a drink. You want somethin’? ❞
❝ Yeah, get me a glass of bourbon, a shot of bourbon and a bourbon chaser. ❞
❝ Jealous? You kiddin’ me? Did you see that guy’s face? ❞
❝ Is it dangerous? ❞
❝ Save the damsel in distress, kill the bad guy and steal his treasure. ❞
❝ You know, nasty little fellows such as yourself, always get their comeuppance. ❞
❝ From now on, don’t touch anything. Not a damn thing. Keep your hands off the furniture, got it? ❞
❝ He wants your heart and your brain, your liver, your kidneys… ❞
❝ I never killed a priest before. ❞
❝ Kill them! Kill them all! And bring me the Book Of The Living! ❞
❝ This just keeps gettin, better and better. ❞
❝ Death is only the beginning. ❞
❝ Well,… I guess we go home empty handed. ❞

oh my father; who came before me, and his father, who died early, and his father, who liked whiskey, and his father, who ran drugs through countries, and his father, who ate too much and shouted plenty, and his father - was this the one that started the cycle? who first raised fist like man raises torch with fire? who first called down thunder onto cowering heads, who brought storms into houses? was it his father before him? where does the blame rest? on whose shoulders do i shrug it? do i pass it off and make my father a better man? cut out the pieces of him that make him a catastrophe? without rage do his hands become carpenter hard but soft and loving, do i no longer flinch when he moves them towards me. without anger do his words become lighter, balloon up and trail on our ceiling and float around without us fearing they will catch on fire. will i see the father of better mornings, when he is at his best, when he is smiling over pancakes and being the man my mother fell in love with. will i no longer guess which father i get today, which switch is flicked, which creature comes out of him. and oh my father, and his father, and so on to the first who raised sons to be a rifle - when i meet him, will he finally be the one to tell me i am loved? that i’m a good enough daughter? when i meet him - god, what if i meet him and the only thing i know how to do is beat him? what if i start the cycle myself, the way that it threatens to keep breathing in me when i raise children. what if. what if.

i see his hands, and carpenter scars and a laugh that shakes a building.

happy father’s day, i write him. oh my father. there will be no more raised hands after me. it doesn’t matter who started it, he’d say to me, i’m ending it. and i’m ending it. after all of this i forgive you, or i’m learning to, or at least i’m learning how not to let it ruin me.

oh my father. i am sorry. and i am free.

If the characters of Voltron were any of the things I've said

“That joke was so cheesy, I could’ve put it on my nachos.” - Lance

“Boi if you don’t take that back, I will hit you so hard that the pain will bypass you completely and mutilate your future children.” - Pidge

“Dude… dude, please don’t cry because then I’m gonna cry and I promise it’ll be a huge mess from there.” - Hunk

“Don’t go thinking you’re the scariest person in this room. I’m 5'1, and I’ve thrown my own brother. You haven’t seen the guy but he’s a good foot taller than me and I still don’t know how I managed” - Allura

*someone coughs* “Oh god, please don’t die, we need you. But if you do die, then same.” - Shiro

*someone shoves me in the hall* “WhO ThE FUC-” *elbows them back as hard as I can* - Keith

“Alright, so what you just did is unacceptable… by mom’s standards. But if we just pretend this never happened, and if you let me go for eating all the Sour Patch kids, she doesn’t have to know.” - Coran

“Are you saying that I’m conceited for thinking I own the world? Because I am, and I do” - Zarkon



Bonus:

“Man I just *raises voice slightly higher* LOVE traffic in the halls, it’s my favorite  *almost shouting* Now, if only people could just walk faster” - Shiro

renora is so pure? they’ve been best friends since, as toddlers, they found each other hiding from a village-murdering monster. they’ve been protecting and caring about each other for like 10 years!! they’ve been by each other’s side for that long! they love each other so much! it’s one of the sweetest, most wholesome relationships in the series and i absolutely loved the importance they had in volume 4. i honestly dont care whether they end up dating or not, as long as theyre together. platonic or romantic, they will never leave each other’s side and i just love them so much.

  • Bitty: to make sure we don't rush into anything we will have to keep this relationship quiet. keep it on the down low
  • also bitty: Oh my god have you guys seen Jack? he is so good!!! why i'm going away for the weekend? ....hum a cousin? yeah i have a cousin whatever, LOOK AT THIS FUNNY VIDEO OF JA--tater!! i am so proud of my boy(s) y'all have grown so much jack is doing so well!!! i am so proud of him!!... yes Holster i am proud of you too - that's what i said i am proud of my boys! i'm gonna bake 30 maple sugar apple pies!!!! yes i did have a nice time this weekend. i just have a thing for dark haired men in suits and blue eyes and tall and cheek bones and i think my future boyfriend have to like sports but preferable hockey... I am an ass kind of man, i think. oh hey jack!!!

gods falling in love with humans is a common fiction trope, probably because Greek myth had such an impact on Western culture, but imagine a god answering little prayers from some kid like “i hope there’s something to eat tonight” or “make my guardian happy so they don’t hurt me” and they just. keep. coming and eventually this god realizes that the little things aren’t actually fixing the big problem, and even if they smite this guardian (which they’re really tempted to do at this point) that’s leaving this kid to fend for themselves and then what?? and so eventually they just manifest, to the kid’s surprise, and are like ‘hi i’m your parent now’

except they’re a god, and based on a lot of pantheons’ track records they probably haven’t observed much good parenting, so they’re just like ??? and fumbling their way through it, hijinks probably ensue, and as they start to get their footing they realize ‘oh hey there are LOTS of kids in shitty situations, and I *am* a god, I can be in loads of places at once, that’s how the others keep having 12 kids after all…’

and basically they end up as the divine version of batman while the rest of the pantheon wonders why they can’t just have a bunch of demigods like normal people

there may be a story like this already, but I enjoyed thinking of this one

11 FACES I SHARE WITH BTS

“Thanks @laytmblr for the tag” 

1- When BTS do what they do

Originally posted by purelyjimin

2- When I get a BIGHIT /Bangtan notification … 

Originally posted by cyyphr

3- Every Namjoon SHET got me like

4- What I think I look like when I “rap” Cypher …

Originally posted by suishii78

5- What I really look like (well I am no Tae but u got the idea…)

Originally posted by vthesecretoilet

6- when I suddenly see : Abs, lip licking, tight pants AND AND AND when the camera hits the low angle …  OH GOD !

Originally posted by meme--suga

7- When my ships interact hsdhdhddhdncjndjndjnujnjnjnjndhue

Originally posted by sugasdiary

8- When I think I have a good idea for a post …

Originally posted by beatriceindre

9- BUT it was just meh and I spent good time and research on it just to delete it 1 min after posting it ! 

Originally posted by ultranicolet

10- Me happily trapped in Kpop …

Originally posted by bangtoori

11-  When I hear my blog is good/funny “YOU ! I LIKE YOU. Let’s be friends”

Originally posted by bangtaneed

I want to tag my followers or any Kpop fan willing to try it ^^

somewhat-grump  asked:

Your latest video was SOOOOO worth the wait like oh my god what a wonderful way to end my day. You never fail to make me laugh good sir, and honestly a lot of the ideas Roman had would be really fun to see you do in the future!

Ahhhh I am so glad to hear that!! Worked all day on it, and me and @jonerstrokes had been planning out and constructing this video for about a week now! We also thought /maybe/ some of those ideas he brought could actually be done in the future if you all wanted it!

Can I help you, Officer? (Jimin x Reader)


Admin:
Mimi

Prompt/Ask: Can you do a jimin request??? Where jimin is your sexy hot husband and a cop and when he pulls you over for speeding he punishes you.😉😉😉😉😉😉

Fandom: BTS

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Jimin x Reader

Warnings: car sex, language, partially dangerous driving

Word Count: 2498

Authors Note: I suck at smut lmao, I always feel like I’m really bad at writing it. Oh well, in time hopefully I’ll be better. Here’s some spicy Officer Jimin for you all ;)))) If there are any errors let me know, and I hope you enjoy!

Keep reading

Requested By Anon


Y/N has created a chatroom.

Y/N has invited Tony, Clint.

Y/N: Do you ever wonder if you’re not real?

Y/N: What if we’re just movie characters?

Y/N: What if we’re comic book characters?

Y/N: WHAT IF PIETRO DIED BECAUSE THE DIRECTOR NEEDED SOMETHING TO SHOCK THE VIEWERS? WHY DID HE DIE? I’VE BEEN THINKING, HE COULD HAVE JUST CAUGHT ALL THE DAMN BULLETS ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Tony: WHAT IF YOU CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND?!

Tony: We are real.

Clint: Stop spending so much time with Wade. He’s not good for you.

Y/N: But Wade has a point!

Y/N: I swear…  When I helped Wade track down Francis, at one point I saw words floating in the air… Subtitles? Credits?

Clint: Y/N, SNAP OUT OF IT. WE. ARE. REAL.

Y/N: OMG WHAT IF THIS IS FANFICTION LIKE THE TYPE I READ ON TUMBLR

Tony: You have Tumblr? What’s your blog? I’ll follow you.

Clint: WHO DO THE TUMBLR PEOPLE SHIP ME WITH

Y/N: Oh my god. I… Am… Different people? DEPENDING ON WHO’S READING

Tony has added Wade.

Tony: WHAT DID YOU DO TO Y/N?! THEY’RE BROKEN!

Wade: I just revealed the truth. Helped them realize. Hello, readers. How are you? Looking beautiful as always.

Clint: I’m starting to see it too…

Tony: See what?!

Clint: I HAVE NO BODY I AM JUST WORDS

Wade: I once had no body. When I blew myself up.

Y/N: AT LEAST YOU’RE ONE PERSON

Wade: Ohhhh this is great. Why didn’t I do this sooner?

Nat has joined the chat.

Nat: Why is Clint panicking? I can’t understand what he’s saying.

Y/N: WE’RE NOT REAL

Y/N: THIS EXPLAINS WHY CLINT HAS A FARM!

Clint: WHERE IS MY FARM ALL I SEE IS WORDS AND SOMEONE LOOKING AT ME FROM ABOVE WHO ARE YOU

Clint: They’re kinda cute.

Wade: Kinda? No. VERY cute.

Y/N: THAT’S ME

Clint: WHAT

Tony: Nat, get them to calm down.

Tony: Wade, FIX THIS.

Tony has added Bruce.

Tony: Please get a sedative for Clint and Y/N.

Bruce: Fourth wall breaking? I thought it was a myth!

Wade: I am living proof. I have been trying to show you people but do you ever listen to me?

Bruce: This is amazing! My theory is true, then!

Tony: Oh not you too.

Nat: Clint is lying on the floor. I don’t know what to do. He won’t calm down. It’s like he can’t see anything but his phone.

Y/N: Who am I? WHY IS MY NAME Y/N?

Clint: IS IT PRONOUNCED “YIN” OR “WHY SLASH EN???!?” WHAT DO I CALL YOU

Y/N: WHAT DO I CALL MYSELF

Tony: Wade. I am going to kill you.

Bruce: He can’t die.

Bruce: But if what’s happening is true, I’ll just ask the author to kill him.

Wade: I’ll just ask Clint to kill you.

Bruce: Clint can’t kill me nor would he even try.

Wade: Hahahahahaahahaahahahahahahahaha good one.

Wade has left the chat.

Clint: I see so many capitalized words. This is hell.

Clint: I hear music WHERE IS IT COMING FROM

Y/N: Don’t worry, it’s just the Author listening to music while typing this.

Nat: I can hear music too…

Tony: nO NOT YOU TOO NAT

Bruce: I must document everything! THIS IS SO EXCITING!

Tony: Bruce. Brucie. Our green rage monster. Can you fangirl over science another time?

Bruce: I’m sorry Tony, but this is so rare! Who knows when this will be requested again?

Tony: Requested…?

Bruce: Interesting. You’re unaffected. Either the Author chose this or your big ego is serving as a wall against it.

Tony: BRUCE

Bruce: It’s true though.

Tony: …Yeah.

Nat: Why is my name Nat in all the chats?!

Y/N: WELCOME TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FOURTH WALL. WE HAVE CONFUSION

Clint: WHY IS NAT TAKING THIS BETTER THAN ME

Nat has changed Nat to Natasha.

Y/N: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

Steve has joined the chat.

Steve: What’s going on? I’m seeing floating words… Sam is talking to someone called the Reader?

Bruce: Interesting. The more Nat, Clint and Y/N notice and change things, the more the “fourth wall” breaks. Soon our world will cease to be. All will be left is the Chat and our painful awareness of it.

Tony: Can we stop it?!

Bruce: I don’t know… This is different from what Wade experiences. He’s aware but this is… something else.

Y/N: WHY WAS I NOT IN THE CIVIL WAR MOVIE?!? RUDE

Pietro has joined the chat.

Pietro: I feel you.

Pietro has left the chat.

Natasha: Wait… If Pietro died… How is he alive now?

Clint: Avengers Chatroom: Inquisitive. He was resurrected there with no mention of how. Ever since then he’s been appearing even though the chats aren’t connected aside for some references.

Bruce: AMAzing YES CLINT TELL ME MORE

Clint: what the… Calm down.

Bruce: Sorry… I’m just so excited! You’re entering the other chats!

Bucky has joined the chat.

Bucky: Why am I not paired with Y/N?

Steve: This is a crackfic gone wrong.

Y/N: DO YOU READ FANFICTION, STEVE

Y/N: HUH?!

Tony: Can you all just STOP TALKING AND LET ME THINK?! Do any of you not understand how bad this is?! We need to fix it!

Y/N: you know what’s weird?

Clint: What?

Y/N: Soon we’ll have two Sherlocks. Tony is one as he’s played by RDJ. Benedict is going to be Dr. Strange. Maybe then the mystery of WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO PEPPER POTTS can finally be solved.

Clint: OMG

Tony has added Thor, Vision.

Tony: Are you two being effected by the fourth wall breaking?

Vision: No. Everything is normal for us.

Thor: We are too mighty to be effected.

Natasha: Or maybe you’re just not worthy.

Thor: We are worthy!

Y/N: … Do you think we can change the plot to make ourselves be worthy now?

Natasha: Exactly what I was thinking!

Thor: NO LADY NATASHA, GIVE ME BACK MJOLNIR!

Natasha: NO, THE AUTHOR DEEMS ME WORTHY!

Tony: Can I be worthy too?

Natasha: No.

Natasha: Farewell, I’m off to rule Asgard!

Thor: LADY NATASHA PLEASE

Thor: DO NOT DO THIS

Natasha: I’m kidding, Thor.

Thor: I knew that…

Y/N: No you didn’t.

Tony: Vision, any ideas on how we can stop this?

Vision: Perhaps we contact this Author that everyone is mentioning?

Tony: Right, but how?

Vision: I have an idea. I will tell you in person.

Bucky: DON’T TAKE AWAY OUR FUN

Tony: What fun?! Clint almost lost his mind! Our world is breaking apart, or at least for you guys. Those of us who aren’t experiencing this will be fine. Do you want me to leave you as just a pile of words?! And of course, our dear Captain isn’t doing anything about this. Just leave it to one of the geniuses to solve, right?

Steve: Dang, Tony. You really need to calm down.

Tony: I AM CALM

Steve: …

Y/N: Dang son!

Clint: Dang, language!

Y/N: Dang, I can do this all day!

Clint:  He’s my friend, dang!

Y/N: Well dang, it’s been a long day.

Clint: Dang, Bucky?!

Natasha: You know… If Bucky wasn’t wearing his goggles when I shot him, he would have died.

Steve: It’s a good thing Hydra takes fashion so seriously.

Bucky: I thought they dressed me like that to hide my identity and for protection?

Natasha: You looked like you were modelling!

Steve: That walk…

Natasha: And the hair!

Y/N: another movie I was not in!

Clint: Me too :(

Tony has added The Author.

Tony: Hi there. Please fix this.

The Author: Nah

Tony: PLEASE

The Author: Kidding! The chat’s not over YET though so in a bit.

Tony: Wait, prove that you’re actually “the author”!

The Author: … How?

Tony: OH YOU KNOW HOW

Y/N: What is happening nOW

Natasha: Good question.

Bruce: I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU ACTUALLY BROUGHT THE AUTHOR HERE, TONY. HOW DID YOU MANAGE THIS?!

Tony: I’m waiting.

The Author: I’m sorry, Steve.

Steve: What?

Steve: My name is Steven Grant Rogers and I sometimes watch Bucky while he sleeps. He looks so peaceful. Safe. I tear up. Every time. My precious Bucky.

Bucky: WHAT IS THIS

Tony: MORE!

Natasha: Not surprising.

Thor: I am shocked…

Steve: MY SERUM BRINGS ALL THE HYDRA TO THE BASE AND THEY’RE LIKE, DANG Mission Report: December 16th, 1991.

Vision: … I think I heard Wanda calling me.

Vision has left the chat.

Steve: Please, no more!

The Author: BLAME TONY

Tony: … MORE MORE MORE!

Steve: ONE TIME WHEN NATASHA WASN’T AROUND I PRETENDED TO BE HER JUST TO FEEL WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE SUCH A BADASS BUT THEN BRUCE WALKED IN AND I JUST WHISPERED… “HEY BIG GUY.” I WAS TOO IN CHARACTER. IT WAS TOO LATE. I HAD SAID IT. AND WINKED.

Y/N: DANG STEVE

The Author: And you’re very out of character now.

Natasha: I’m going to pretend none of this happened.

Bucky: With you on that.

Bucky has left the chat.

Natasha has left the chat.

Bruce: The hulk is suffering from second hand embarrassment.

Bruce has left the chat. 

Thor: Steve… Did you really do that?

Steve: Of course not! I’m being controlled to say all of this.

Tony: I think that’s enough now, thank you. You’ve made my life. I can die in peace.

Tony: Can you fix this now?

The Author: It’s fixed.

Tony: it was that easy, really?!

The Author: I AM The Author.

Steve: Are you sure you’re a genius, Tony?

Y/N: DANG STEVE

The Author: DANG STEVE

Clint: DANG STEVE

Steve: REALLY? THE AUTHOR TOO?!

The Author: ily

Steve: What?

The Author: What?

Y/N: Same

Clint: Can I name the chat?!

Tony: No! I want to name it, “Tony Stark Is Amazing and Hot.”

Steve: Why don’t we let the reader name it?

The Author: Good idea. What would you like to name it?

Clint: Why can’t I name it?

Steve: We all know why.

The Author: Well, dang. I should go. This turned out crazier than expected. Thank you for reading. I think you’re wonderful. ily <3. Bye!

The Author has left the chat.

Clint: Y/N

Y/N: CLINT

Clint: Let’s go abuse our fourth wall breaking power before we lose it!

Y/N: Good idea!

Steve: No! That is a bad idea!

Clint: WHAT WAS THAT STEVE? WE CAN’T HEAR YOU

Steve: YOU ARE READING THIS

Clint: I’M DEAF

Clint has left the chat.

Y/N has left the chat.

Steve has left the chat.

Tony: This will be fun to witness.

Tony has left the chat.

Thor: What is going on with these midgardians?

Thor has left the chat.

Sam has joined the chat.

Sam has added Wanda, Scott, T’Challa, Peter.

Sam: I told you! I was right.

Wanda: This explains why Clint and Y/N were acting so strange.

T’Challa: But aren’t you, Y/N?

Wanda: Me?

T’Challa: No. Not you.

Peter: So if they’re Y/N… Can we just address them as Y/N to make it easier?

Scott: Can I just say, Y/N, it is so great to finally meet you!

Scott: Even though I can’t actually meet you, there’s a screen separating us.

Scott: But it is an honor.

Scott: I think you’re a lovely person.

Scott: Wow.

Sam: Man, stop fangirling. You’re going to scare them away! But yeah, we think you’re pretty amazing.

Wanda: I think I love you? Is that too much?

Sam: Me?

T’Challa: No, she means the reader.

Peter: Denied.

T’Challa: You are always welcome to Wakanda if you can find a way to come to this side.

Peter: Are you smiling? I hope you are.

Scott: STOP FLIRTING THEY COULD BE OLDER THAN YOU

Peter: I’m not flirting! They just have a really beautiful smile!

Wanda: We should go now.

T’Challa: I agree. We hope you have a lovely day… Or night. This is really confusing to me.

Scott: We can’t tell because we’re in here.

Sam: Goodbye, Y/N!

Sam has left the chat.

Wanda has left the chat.

T’Challa has left the chat.

Peter has left the chat.

Scott: I REALLY THINK YOU’RE GREAT

Scott has left the chat.

Audio samples of “The Matsuno Family’s Carefree Feeling” (Vol 3 and last volume), written by the series writer Matsubara Shuu. To be released on April 26, 2017.

01. Totty’s Wish
TODOMATSU: That’s why I can’t help myself from relying on you… Sorry about that! Having the reputation of oldest brother must be tough. I’ll ask Choromatsu-niisan this time. See you!
OSOMATSU: Wait, Totty, Totty!
TODOMATSU: Hm?
OSOMATSU: Here. Just 1,000 yen, okay?
TODOMATSU: Ehhhh?! I can have this?! [grabs] Thank you, oldest brother-niisan! No, I mean, Osomatsu-niisan. Sleep well now, okay? Bye!
[TODOMATSU leaves the room]
TODOMATSU: [sighs] And that’s about it.
ICHIMATSU: Oh my god, that was awesome!

02. Sunday Carpenter
CHOROMATSU: Ugh, it’s construction!
JYUSHIMATSU: Ahaha!
CHOROMATSU: Hm? Construction?
JYUSHIMATSU: Whoohoo!
CHOROMATSU: This isn’t construction! It’s him!
[CHOROMATSU runs outside]
CHOROMATSU: Keep it down! What is this?! Hey, Karamatsu! What’s this racket?
KARAMATSU: It’s Jyushimatsu.
CHOROMATSU: Eh?!
JYUSHIMATSU: Ahahaha!
CHOROMATSU: What is he doing?

03. Wake Up Candid Camera
JYUSHIMATSU: [whispers] Good morning.
ICHIMATSU: Morning.
JYUSHIMATSU: It’s five in the morning right now. I sure am sleepy.
ICHIMATSU: Sleepy.
JYUSHIMATSU: But it’s fun.
ICHIMATSU: Loads of fun. I could just die.
JYUSHIMATSU: Then let’s go enter the room.
ICHIMATSU: Let’s go. Let’s kill them all.
JYUSHIMATSU: Yep.

04. A Carefree Feeling
ICHIMATSU: [groans]
KARAMATSU: Hmph! It appears the time has come for me to sing a lullaby!
CHOROMATSU: By the way…
KARAMATSU: Eh?
CHOROMATSU: Where did that idiot go? I don’t see him around.
TODOMATSU: Eh? Oh, Osomatsu-niisan? I don’t know.
CHOROMATSU: Oh really.
KARAMATSU: Hmph! Then when everyone’s altogether, how about me singing a lullaby–
JYUSHIMATSU: By the way…
KARAMATSU: Hmm?
TODOMATSU: What’s the matter, Jyushimatsu-niisan?
JYUSHIMATSU: No, nothing.
TODOMATSU: Oh really.
KARAMATSU: Hmm…
CHOROMATSU: Alright then, let’s ignore that idiot and get some sleep.
TODOMATSU: I’m turning off the lights now.
ALL: Okay.
TODOMATSU: Good night.
ALL: Good night.
OSOMATSU: [enters the room] Hey, you guys! Let’s go out for ramen!

Let Me Love You

Originally posted by dean-winchester-crush

Let Me Love You by evansrogerskitten

Dean x Reader 

Reader is getting over a bad breakup and ready for a rebound hook up. Thankfully she meets a gorgeous green-eyed stranger who is down for a night of bliss.

Warnings: This is pure Smut. NSFW, Explicit, hook up sex, fingering, oral, anal play, language, alcohol. So basically my usual. | WC: 3183 | On AO3

A/N: This is for @luci-in-trenchcoats‘s 2K Follower Challenge, and an addition to my album challenge for @mrs-squirrel-chester‘s Album Fanfic Challenge. 


I met Sam when he came to the university library one afternoon. He was sweet, funny, and a little nerdy. It seemed like I never met nice guys anymore. And after my disaster of a relationship and subsequent nasty breakup, it was nice to be interested in someone again.

“So you’ve been in Amherst for a few days?” I asked, shuffling through discarded books on the table.

Sam studied the maps in front of us for a moment, before he focused on my question. “Yeah, my brother and I are working here on a job.”

Keep reading

Savior

She found herself in an abandoned warehouse just a few blocks from the run down apartment her father had rented until he gathered the insurance money from their original apartment that had burned down days before. [Y/N] sat with her feet dangling over edge of the catwalk, her body facing the industrial sized window that overlooked the dirty and deserted streets of the city. 

Looking down, she pulled out the pill bottle from her hoodie pocket. Running her fingers over the label, she fought back the tears. Closing her hand over the prescription bottle, she looked out the window and mustered up the courage to uncap the poison in her hand. 

Just as she was about to swallow all the pills, she jumped at the sound of glass shattering below her. She cursed as the oxycodone fell from her fingers and onto the warehouse ground. Standing up, [Y/N] peered over the catwalk and noticed a figure struggling to stand. Her eyes strained to adjust to the dark. Gasping when she caught sight of the famous red and blue, she scrambled off the catwalk and down the stairs to the first floor. 

“Oh my god.” She panted as she made it to the figure. Slowing her steps, she assessed the situation. It was definitely Spiderman, that she knew. What she didn’t know was why he was covered in enough blood to fill up a bathtub. Shrieking when he collapsed onto the ground, she ran to him. 

Kneeling on the hard ground, she propped him up on her knees. She looked down at her hands that were now covered in sticky, wet blood. “Oh god.” [Y/N] shuddered, she hated blood. Clearing her throat, she gently tapped his masked face, “Hey? You with me?” She scanned over the rest of him, her eyes widening at the ripped suit and exposed torso. Her heart rate increased, he wasn’t just covered in blood, it was his own blood. 

“Holy shit. Hey, hey, hey!” [Y/N] shook him slightly, “We need to get you to a hospital!” She pawed at him, struggling to find a cellphone. Finally finding one, she cursed loudly as it slipped from her hands “I need you to stay with me!” Trying to unlock the phone with her blood soaked fingers, she screamed when he grabbed her forearm. Leaning down, her brows knitted together at the muffled sounds coming from where his mouth was located. “What? I can’t, I don’t know, I can’t understand you.” He continued to mumble with her still unable to understand him. 

Taking in a deep shaky breath, she set down the phone away from the spreading blood puddle. “I can’t understand you with your mask on,” [Y/N] said gently. Biting her lip, she reached for the bottom of his mask. “I have to take your mask off, okay?” Not waiting for him to answer, she gently and slowly revealed the face that laid underneath. [Y/N] gasped softly when she finally removed the cover, her heart sped up even more. How was this possible? 

“Peter?!” [Y/N] cried out. Spiderman was a kid, a teenager? More importantly her lab partner in Chemistry. So many questions rolled through her brain but was quickly cut short when she remembered that she needed to call 911. 

Peter’s eyes fluttered, his mouth moving but very little sounds coming out. “Call Tony, not 911, please.” He croaked out. 

“What? Tony?!” She yelped, who the hell was Tony? “But, you need help!”

“Call……Tony……please.”

[Y/N] started to shake, she could feel his body temperature start to drop. Struggling to find this mysterious Tony number, “Come on, come on. Yes! Okay, come on, please pick up….pick up, come on.”

“Listen, Parker. You better have a damn good reason-”

“-Oh my gosh! Thank god, um, Peter told me to call you. I don’t know why, I should be calling 911. He’s bleeding out….there’s a lot of blood. I don’t know what to do. We need help! Why am I calling you instead of 911, oh my god, I’m so stupid. He’s probably going to die because of this phone call. Oh my god.” 


[Y/N] leaned her head against the frame of the window that showed Peter sleeping soundly in his hospital room. Her hands and arms were free from his blood but the reminder of almost seeing him die in her arms were still soaked into her clothes. 

“Here you go, kid.” 

Standing up straight, she looked up to see Tony hand her a fresh set of clothes. Placing a hand on her shoulder, he gave her a pressed smile. “You can get changed over here.” Patting her back, he calmly spoke. “He’ll be here when you get back, I promise. Come on.” 

Reluctantly following Tony, she thanked him and closed the curtain to change. Wincing as she peeled off her clothes, she looked around to find a spot to place them.

“There’s a little washing station off to her left there.” 

Following his direction, she sighed in content to know that she could wash the rest of the blood off. “Um, thank you.” 

“Yeah, no problem.” Tony twirled around, his hands clasped behind his back. “So uh, Peter’s never mentioned you before. Are you two friends?” 

Running a wet towel over her torso, she shook her head even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “No, not really.” Running it over her legs, she sighed again. “We’re just lab partners.”  

“Oh.”

Quickly changing into the fresh clothes, she slid the curtain open. 

“Much better?” He smiled as she nodded.

Guiding them back to Peter’s room, he slowed his steps as he got to the window. It was a close call and Tony was so unbelievably thankful that he made it. 

“He saved me once,” [Y/N] said softly. 

“Hm?” Tony asked, distracted from his thoughts. 

She motioned towards Peter, “He saved me, about two weeks ago.” Hugging herself, she bit her lip. “My apartment building caught on fire and I was stupid enough to go back up the six flights to get something and just as I was about to go back down, the stairs collapsed on me.” [Y/N] met Tony’s eyes, “I never got a chance to thank him and for the past week and a half, I’ve been sitting next to him.” 

“I’m sure he knew,” Tony reassured. Following her gaze to Peter, he frowned, “What were you doing at that warehouse anyway? Seems a bit morbid to be a teen hangout spot.” 

[Y/N] inhaled slowly, “I lost my mom during the battle of New York. We were on our way to see a movie when everything hit the fan. Our taxi got flipped over on its side and the doors were jammed. So, my dad kicked the window out and threw me. I broke a few ribs and my arm but I didn’t feel it at the time because all I could focus on was the fact that there were aliens swarming the city. My mom had suffered a concussion from the wreck and was fading in and out of consciousness so my dad climbed out first to get better leverage. He was a little shaky from it all too so he lost his footing and fell to the ground. I just remember standing there in shock and in panic from it all that I almost didn’t notice the gas leaking from the other cars. I screamed for my dad to hurry but the taxi blew up before he could even stand up to try.” 

Tony stood in silence, his heart breaking. He felt responsible for everything that had happened in New York. And it hurt even more to be standing in front of someone who had lost so much during it all. 

“You asked why I was in the warehouse and the reason was that ever since that day, my dad was never the same. And to a degree, I changed too but he just became so cold. Every time he looked at me, I could see disgust in his eyes. I reminded him so much of the woman he failed to save that he couldn’t even bare to look at me. Abuse isn’t just physical, Mr. Stark. It’s verbal too and every day since then, that was what I had to deal with. Him degrading me as a person, making me see myself in a way that my mother would never let me see myself as. I went to that warehouse tonight to be reunited with my mother. To be reunited with the one person who would have loved me no matter what.” 

Tony inhaled sharply. Nodding, he placed a warm and firm hand on her shoulder. “I tend to be hypocritical at times and this is one of those moments when I say I believe in fate which I normally don’t. But, had you not gone to that warehouse, Peter would be dead. Instead of ending a life, you saved one.” 


Peter’s eyes fluttered open, groaning from the pain, he went to raise his hand to his head but immediately regretted his movement. It felt like he had been hit with a train ten times over. Blinking, his eyes adjusted to the girl sitting in an arm chair with a Chemistry book in her lap. 

“[Y/N]?! What are, what are you doing here?” Panic started to settle into his bones. 

She looked up from her textbook, untucking her legs from underneath her, she set the book down. “You were involved in a serious car accident-”

“-wha?” Peter tried to recall this accident but all he remembered was being seconds from being ripped apart. 

“Peter! You’re awake!” 

“Aunt May?” Peter exclaimed, completely dumbfounded at what was going on. “I don’t understand.” 

Aunt May started to sob, “Oh my god, I’m so glad you’re okay! I was so worried about you.” 

[Y/N] stood up, grabbing her backpack, she smiled. “It’s okay if you don’t remember the car accident, Peter.” Walking over towards him, she gently patted his hand. “You were walking me back to my apartment after our study session when you pushed me out of the way of a speeding car. I can’t thank you enough for saving my life. Hopefully one day I can return the favor.” Just as Aunt May wasn’t looking, she winked and motioned a phone signal with her hand and mouthed call Tony. Turning towards Aunt May, she smiled, “If it’s okay, I’ll leave Peter’s schoolwork with you.” 

Aunt May nodded, tears soaking her eyes. “Of course!” 

Handing it off, she looked at Peter. “I’m glad you’re okay. I’ll see you around.” 

Peter still dumbfounded, nodded. “Yeah. uh, see you around.” 

Once she left the room, Aunt May wiped away some tears. “I know you’re in pain and everything but she’s cute!”