oh gods that's wrong

Fic idea where a lonely person sells their soul to Satan to be their friend. And Satan just rolls with it until he realizes at the time of their death he genuinely likes them.

Since he can’t renege on the contract he takes them to Hell and puts them in a high position of power. Demons hardened by millenia of torture now have to answer to a shy, self-conscious, quiet, depressed, lonely person who has unintentionally become Satan’s #1

Educating a Friend
  • Me: So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
  • Guy Friend: What's his name?
  • Me: I don't know. Frank?
  • Guy Friend: No.
  • Me: Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
  • Guy Friend: I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
  • Me: ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
  • Guy Friend: Do I have any money?
  • Me: Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
  • Guy Friend: Duh, I buy him lunch.
  • Me: Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
  • Guy Friend: Nah, it's cool.
  • Me: Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
  • Guy Friend: What five bucks?
  • Me: Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
  • Guy Friend: What? Why would I--
  • Me: I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
  • Guy Friend: Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
  • Me: I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
  • Guy Friend: Well, yeah, but...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: oh
  • <p> <b>Parents:</b> wow you never talk to us, almost as if we are horrible to be around or something!!<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my interests*<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my friends*<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my day*<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my problems*<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my views/opinions*<p/><b>Parents:</b> oh my god that's so stupid! you're so stupid what the hell is wrong with you?<p/></p>
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jessicaangelaaaa  asked:

there is somebody who is using your art and saying it's them on discord, which is why i'm asking if it's you. <3 don't want somebody else taking your work and claiming it. that's pretty wrong.

Oh my god

I dont even know what a discord is

Damn…

I wish i could go over there

And

BEAT DA SHIET OUT OF THEM

thanks for telling me tho

≧▽≦

Magnus, the Worst Man
  • Merle: I don't know who these guys are. I have plant growth! I can heal you!
  • Trent: What is plant growth?
  • Merle: That's where I make... shh shhshshshsh I know it hurts...
  • Trent: *whimpering* I don't have a butt
  • Merle: I know.. he hurt your butt... and he's a bad bad man.
  • Trent: He is the WORST man! I've only met like four men and he's one of them and I hate him!
  • Merle: He's the worst man! I know! Here I can do plant growth and make your butt feel good! Oh god I worded that wrong...
  • Trent: Well from what I've heard that's actually something you're very much into.
  • Merle: Here you can read this extreme teen bible and...
  • Trent: I CAN'T READ I'M A PLANT AND I'M LIKE THIRTY MINUTES OLD!!

There’s no such thing as a dying man,
we’re alive till the moment we’re dead.
and a drowning man is just a living man,
who hasn’t run out of his last bit of breath”

@aprilis-filia replied to your photo:

this is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen all day *-*

I can’t believe you’ve gone all day without looking in a mirror!

@thisismydesignhannibal​ replied to your photo:

Absolutely gorgeous!  Definitely locket worthy ;P

Imagine how hard it was making it!

Introducing Wizards to Muggle Things Part 6
  • [after watching Clueless]
  • Pansy: Okay... But that was literally her Brother.
  • Hermione: Step Brother.
  • Pansy: Still! That's so gross!
  • Hermione: Really? THAT'S Gross!?!? Your Parents are cousins!
  • Pansy: .... Oh God... What is WRONG with my Family!?!
What The Signs Say The Most
  • Aries: "Fuck you."
  • Taurus: "Nope, stop, just stop."
  • Gemini: "Lol."
  • Cancer: "Wow."
  • Leo: *Incomprehensible swearing*
  • Virgo: "Adjust this, fix that, more this."
  • Libra: "Oh. My. God."
  • Scorpio: "Fuck this."
  • Sagittarius: "Heyyyy guys."
  • Capricorn: "That's wrong, you're wrong."
  • Aquarius: *Squealing*
  • Pisces: "What."

anonymous asked:

The fact that Beyonce started off the feminism part with "We teach girls that they can not be sexual beings in the way that boys are" right after Partition instead of what it usually starts with is amazing because she was judged so hard for the lyrics of Partition and she purposely moved the part about women not being able to embrace their sexuality so it was said right after that song. And if you don't think that's inspiring and beautiful you're wrong.

Oh my god my Queen is a genius ❤❤❤

anonymous asked:

i'm curious, as much as you say parts of the fandom makes thorin into a villain, what will you do when the third movie proves you wrong? because i think it will.

Ok, first off, I feel like this message is saying “ha ha wait until you see the third film, then you’ll see!!1!!”. Um. I read the book. repeatedly. I know what happens and in absolutely no wayis Thorin Oakenshield a villain. 

I mean, calling him a villain is actually laughable? Especially if we’re going by the films, in which he’s portrayed as being far more nuanced than he was in the original text. Don’t get me wrong, he’s exceptionally proud, stubborn, reckless & selfish but none of these traits explicitly make him a villain, they make him complex. I’ll talk about film! Thorin here, because that’s what you reference, and quite personally I prefer him in the films.

So, let’s reference everything that film! Thorin has been through

  • Watched his grandfather succumb to madness and subsequently be beheaded before his eyes
  • Watched the kingdom he loved and cherished fall slowly into darkness and solitude 
  • Watched a dragon burn his kingdom to the ground and rob him of his rightful inheritance
  • Watched his friends and family die by said dragonfire and the remainder of his people wander homeless throughout Eriador

For the bulk of his early life, Thorin has watched everything he has known quite literally burn away before him and has been helpless to stop it. Is it any wonder then that when he’s given the choice to act, he acts recklessly? That when he’s finally given agency, he makes mistakes? Thorin is utterly and wholly determined to regain his home and the gold that comes with it, but fears that he will fall prey to the gold sickness that ruined his grandfather and his kingdom. In his determination to regain his homeland, and in turn provide a home to his people and restore their greatly wounded pride, he succumbs to that which he fears most and upon his deathbed, he realizes his own shortcomings.

If more folk were like you, Bilbo Baggins, and cherished food and warm beds and tea and friendship over the gold of my forefathers, if more people were like you instead of me, little burglar, the world would be a brighter place. 

None of this makes Thorin Oakenshield a villain, it makes him a tragedy.

The NMTD Fan Game #1
Name: Jake 

Age:

18

Country you are currently situated in:

New Zealand

Photo of yourself:

(filming one of the Bath of Emotion vlogs) 

Favorite NMTD episode:

Hmmmmmmmm well my proper favourite still hasn’t come out yet either (it’s got a while to go yet, but trust me it’s worth the wait), but having said that Bea’s facials in The Limits of Technology and the Art of Self-Representation in a Modern World are hilariously brilliant.

Favorite NMTD character:

I want to say Ben because I basically am him, but i’m going to go with Bea, because in all honesty she really is just amazing, how could you not like her?? I wish I’d known someone like her in high school. 

Favorite Shakespeare Play:

Much Ado About Nothing

Favorite web series (outside of NMTD):

KitR (i don’t really like romantic stuff normally but this is seriously adorable)

Any other information you want to tell us about:

Fun fact: Although I use my natural english accent for Ben, I’m actually Scottish! I have never lived in England and my parents have Scottish accents, and yet I sound extremely English - nobody really knows why. Sadly though, to live in Scotland and have an English accent is a cardinal sin, and when my clan chieftain found out he took my kilt and bagpipes away and exiled me to New Zealand (geographically speaking the furthest away from Scotland you can possibly get). Jokes on him though, New Zealand is actually the most amazing country in the world and you should all come visit!

Also like everyone else i am so wonderfully, ecstatically grateful for all the love and attention the series has been getting, literally my entire day is spent scrolling through the tag grinning happily and watching gifs of my own face. It’s probably not healthy but I don’t care I love it.

How did you find out about Nothing Much to Do?

A fb post on the page for the acting workshop that I coincidentally met Harriett and Sally at! I thought it would a be a cool thing to do, but didn’t think I had a chance, so I was extremely happy when I found out that they wanted me for Ben. 

Favorite band/song/what you’re listening to right now?

Currently listening/singing along to Take a Walk by Passion Pit and getting nmtd feels (i used to catch a lift to filming with Harriett every day and we’d have sing alongs in the car, and this one was always my fav).

What are you wearing?

A robe, a monacle and a fez, whilst stroking a cat. Prove that I’m not.

Favorite food?

Oh god no i love food more than life. Actually wait i forgot halloumi is the best food in existence.

Favorite chat-up line?

If you were an enzyme, you’d be DNA helicase cos you can unzip my genes any time - i’ve never actually used a pickup line, but this one was scrawled in the margin of my year 13 bio textbook.

What’s your worst fear?

Probably either socialising in large groups, or deep water. Or sports.

Favorite TV show?

(cracks knuckles) ok well Doctor Who obviously, Game of Thrones, Scrubs, Community, 30 Rock, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Angel, Firefly, Broadchurch, Castle, Sherlock, Supernatural and Last Week Tonight with John Oliver are the ones i can think of at the moment, but I’m running out of things to watch, so let me know if you have any good ones!

Favorite quote (bonus: favorite quote from NMTD so far)?

“In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.” - Douglas Adams (Also there are a million Terry Pratchett quotes but i couldn’t pick one).

NMTD: Hnnggg well i mean Ben has some cracking lines in there (i think anywhoozles made a post about them?), but Bea’s "He’s not hot *smirks*… I don- I don’t like Benedick” takes the cake for me.

What place would you like to visit?

I’ve always really wanted to see Canada, but at the same time Northern Europe sounds really cool also. Anywhere with snow really.

What instrument do you play?

I play the triangle brilliantly.

What is the last book you read?

The Strain by Guillermo del Toro and Chuck Hogan

Do you eat mangoes with or without the skin?

I actually don’t like mangoes very much (so that scene was probably the hardest acting i had to do in the show).

Would you rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses or one horse-sized duck?

I stand by my (I mean Ben’s) statements - you could tame a horse sized duck and ride it around the place majestically (although not quite as majestically as a flamingo..)

Would you rather be blind or deaf?

Deaf, because I really love reading.

A magician tells you that you can be granted the power of invisibility, but you will never again be able to drink tea.  Do you accept the power?

Get out.

The Candle Wasters have mentioned that the flamingo thing was something that started at Jake and Harriett’s audition (although it may not have been an argument at the time).  What is your headcanon backstory for the flamingo argument?

I’m going to take a leaf out of the Sherlock creator’s book and give you guys three hints: Sergei the foreign exchange student. Floyd. Scrabble. Enjoy ;)