oh gods that's wrong

Fic idea where a lonely person sells their soul to Satan to be their friend. And Satan just rolls with it until he realizes at the time of their death he genuinely likes them.

Since he can’t renege on the contract he takes them to Hell and puts them in a high position of power. Demons hardened by millenia of torture now have to answer to a shy, self-conscious, quiet, depressed, lonely person who has unintentionally become Satan’s #1

Educating a Friend
  • Me: So, let's say that you're at school and you see a guy you know. I mean, you guys talk every once in a while and he's pretty cool, but you're not like friends or anything. You just talk to him every once in a while.
  • Guy Friend: What's his name?
  • Me: I don't know. Frank?
  • Guy Friend: No.
  • Me: Okay, fine. His name is Will. Okay?
  • Guy Friend: I don't think it really suits him, but okay.
  • Me: ...So anyway, you're at school during lunchtime and you see Will. So, you notice Will's not eating anything. That's when you realize that Will has no lunch, no money for lunch, and no way of getting either. He's just sitting there like he normally would. He's not acting any differently and he's not asking anyone for anything. Not money, not a fry, not even a salt packet, but you know he's gotta be hungry. So, what do you do?
  • Guy Friend: Do I have any money?
  • Me: Yeah. You have enough for you and another meal.
  • Guy Friend: Duh, I buy him lunch.
  • Me: Okay, cool. So, like you said, you buy him lunch. You buy your lunch and you buy his lunch and you go over and hand it to him. And, he says, "Wow. You know, that's really nice of you, but I wasn't gonna ask anyone for lunch. I was probably just gonna wait until I got home to eat." And, then you say--
  • Guy Friend: Nah, it's cool.
  • Me: Exactly. You say, "Nah, it's cool. I'm just being nice. It's a gift." And, Will says, "You know, that's awesome. You're really nice, bro." And, after that, you guys start hanging out. You guys are like really good buds. You are always hanging out and laughing and just having a good time. So, you guys are friends for a few months, and it's tons of fun. Then, one day, you go up to Will and you say, "Hey, Will, you know, I've been thinking, and I kinda want that five bucks."
  • Guy Friend: What five bucks?
  • Me: Hold on. I'm getting there. So, Will says, "What five bucks?" To which, you reply, "Well, we've been hanging out for a long time and it's been really fun, but like, I've done a lot of really nice things for you. Like, I'm always nice to you and I always listen and do things you wanna do, so I was thinking that because I've been so nice, you should pay me back that five bucks I spent to get your lunch right before we started really hanging out."
  • Guy Friend: What? Why would I--
  • Me: I'm not done yet. So, then Will looks kinda hurt and he says, "But I thought you were just being nice. I thought that was just a gift." So, you say, "Whether or not it was a gift, don't you think you kinda owe me that five bucks since I've been so nice to you?" And, Will says, "No. I don't think I owe you that!" And you get mad, so you say, "Well, I think that you do, so I think you're being really shitty and stuck up about this and I feel like I've been completely wronged."
  • Guy Friend: Oh, my God. That's so fucked up of me. I would never do that to Will. Will was nice. We were buds. That's way screwed.
  • Me: I know, right? Hey, just wondering, have you ever heard of this fictional place called "The Friendzone?"
  • Guy Friend: Well, yeah, but...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: ...
  • Guy Friend: oh
  • <p> <b>Parents:</b> wow you never talk to us, almost as if we are horrible to be around or something!!<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my interests*<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my friends*<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my day*<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my problems*<p/><b>Me:</b> *talks to them about my views/opinions*<p/><b>Parents:</b> oh my god that's so stupid! you're so stupid what the hell is wrong with you?<p/></p>
2

jessicaangelaaaa  asked:

there is somebody who is using your art and saying it's them on discord, which is why i'm asking if it's you. <3 don't want somebody else taking your work and claiming it. that's pretty wrong.

Oh my god

I dont even know what a discord is

Damn…

I wish i could go over there

And

BEAT DA SHIET OUT OF THEM

thanks for telling me tho

≧▽≦

Magnus, the Worst Man
  • Merle: I don't know who these guys are. I have plant growth! I can heal you!
  • Trent: What is plant growth?
  • Merle: That's where I make... shh shhshshshsh I know it hurts...
  • Trent: *whimpering* I don't have a butt
  • Merle: I know.. he hurt your butt... and he's a bad bad man.
  • Trent: He is the WORST man! I've only met like four men and he's one of them and I hate him!
  • Merle: He's the worst man! I know! Here I can do plant growth and make your butt feel good! Oh god I worded that wrong...
  • Trent: Well from what I've heard that's actually something you're very much into.
  • Merle: Here you can read this extreme teen bible and...
  • Trent: I CAN'T READ I'M A PLANT AND I'M LIKE THIRTY MINUTES OLD!!

There’s no such thing as a dying man,
we’re alive till the moment we’re dead.
and a drowning man is just a living man,
who hasn’t run out of his last bit of breath”

idontwannabeyouanymore182  asked:

The reason why paddy deleted his account because some stupid pedophiles, on Instagram has been sexualising him? I think... I heard that on twitter. Honestly, I am disgusted! Who and why???? He's 13 and he's a kid! No! No! That's wrong.

what the fuck? ew. oh, my god. that makes me so freaking sad. what the fuck is up with people sexualizing kids? first the IT kids, now paddy? disgusting. 

Introducing Wizards to Muggle Things Part 6
  • [after watching Clueless]
  • Pansy: Okay... But that was literally her Brother.
  • Hermione: Step Brother.
  • Pansy: Still! That's so gross!
  • Hermione: Really? THAT'S Gross!?!? Your Parents are cousins!
  • Pansy: .... Oh God... What is WRONG with my Family!?!

anonymous asked:

sur it mabey have been selfish of her to want a relationship with kanek but in a world where you might die the next day wouldn't u have sex and a baby with the man you love?

Hell no. I wouldn’t, because I care about my life and the person “I love” (my single ass doesn’t want to be with anyone at the moment.) enough to realize that having a baby right now isn’t the right choice. Try again, lovely. Just because they have death flags around them doesn’t mean having a baby right now it’s the best choice for them, only because they could die.

What The Signs Say The Most
  • Aries: "Fuck you."
  • Taurus: "Nope, stop, just stop."
  • Gemini: "Lol."
  • Cancer: "Wow."
  • Leo: *Incomprehensible swearing*
  • Virgo: "Adjust this, fix that, more this."
  • Libra: "Oh. My. God."
  • Scorpio: "Fuck this."
  • Sagittarius: "Heyyyy guys."
  • Capricorn: "That's wrong, you're wrong."
  • Aquarius: *Squealing*
  • Pisces: "What."

anonymous asked:

Can you give us a good rant on everything that's wrong with GOT?

Oh god. Can I.

First, as I’ve noted before, I read the series for the first time when I was 14-15, and I am going to turn 27 later this year. So it is literally almost half my life that I have spent being a fan of the books/series, and there’s probably no fictional universe that I know better; I did use the Wiki of Ice and Fire when writing TNR for small details, but mostly to confirm what I already thought it was, and almost all of it was just what I already knew offhand. So yeah, I will wager my knowledge of ASOIAF against just about anyone’s, I know large sections of the books practically verbatim, and it was my gateway drug back into fandom. So one can be sure that when I wheel out the big guns here, I know what the fuck I am talking about. (I have to include this disclaimer because every so often I get amusing anons accusing me of “not understanding” GOT or the characters or whatever). Also, to make clear just how important this is and has been to me, and why I am so, so spitting mad about the show.

I realize that turning a sprawling fantasy saga that GRRM originally wrote precisely because he was tired of the limits of small-screen TV scripts and wanted a universe where everything was as big and lavish as he pleased was going to be a complex task. I am not one of the purists who don’t realize that book and film are different mediums, and that on a premium pay-cable channel like HBO, certain expectations are attached to the end result. And given the grittiness of ASOIAF, obviously regular cable wasn’t going to be sufficient to convey all the dimensions of the story. That, however, has become a major part of the problem. The violence and sex, instead of being part of the story that is set in a realistic medieval world instead of some Tolkien-knockoff ye olde fantasyland of dwarves and elves, has replaced the story. The creators know that GOT’s reputation in the mainstream/television/entertainment audience is that it’s “shocking,” so they are constantly tailoring it to be as shocking as possible. They are maneuvering the characters and the narrative from one shock moment to the next, since they know, good or bad, it’ll be buzzed about and people will talk about it and angry book readers like myself will yell at clouds. It’s good for the external machinery of the show, in other words – publicity, “omg did you hear what happened on Game of Thrones last night?”, more viewers, more dollars, etc. It’s no coincidence that this is something like HBO’s most profitable show ever. They know what they’re doing in the TV market, they have production values comparable to big-budget feature films, they can afford to hire top-notch actors and crew, etc. Plus, that carrot of “shocking plot twist.” But when you build an adaptation solely around exploiting it for scenes that give people a jolt, pretty much, well, everything else suffers.

I have already written a novel on GOT’s lamentable treatment of its female characters and addiction to gratuitous nudity and sexual violence (again, included so it can be shocking), but I have to point out one of what I suspect is the main reason behind their latest brilliant idea of making Sansa take Jeyne Poole’s place and marry Ramsay: they figure we won’t care if it’s just some girl. So they move Sansa from abuse to abuse to abuse – from Joffrey, to Littlefinger, now to Ramsay – because they figure it’s easier to evoke the desired response (”this is shocking!”) with their already-created abuse puppet. That’s why Sansa exists in this telling of the show: to be abused, sprinkled in with just enough Mockingjay dresses to make it look like they’re actually giving her a character arc. Because the writers are lazy and clunky and because their idea of what the women in the show are present to do is very clear, they’re just going to throw Sansa in there, because in their minds, somehow we wouldn’t be able to feel empathy for Jeyne Poole, used and horrifically abused and tortured by Ramsay, since she’s just “some girl.” It HAS to be a main character, because why would we feel sympathy for a random victim of sexual and physical violence? What Jeyne Poole goes through is enough to horrify ANYONE, and did, no matter that we didn’t know her from Eve when we started reading ADWD. But she doesn’t matter. None of these women do, because the show is already too busy using the rest of them as pawns for sexual violence anyway.

This feeds into the entire problem of the fact that the writers also apparently think the audience is really, really stupid. Everything that remains ambiguous or only hinted at in the books – Renly and Loras’ relationship, Theon’s unmanning by Ramsay, Stannis and Melisandre’s relationship, etc etc – is made as broad and clumsy as possible in the show. You have Loras reduced to a camp gay fop who can’t focus on politics when there are just so many rent boys to wink at, you have Theon’s dick literally in a box, you have Stannis humping Mel on the Painted Table, etc. Yes, I know that no one wants to see two characters standing around explaining plot points to each other (which already happens a lot in GOT, especially in a brothel) but not all of these (in fact none of these) needed to be thrown in our faces like sledgehammers. Once again, as noted above, the entire structure and storytelling pattern of the show is beholden to “how can we make this as shocking as possible?” The show either doesn’t trust that its audience is smart enough to pick up on nuances, or it doesn’t get the nuances in the first place. I’m inclined to think the latter.

That is, basically, the overall problem: the show takes one or two traits from a character and turns them into the character. We have Jon Snow, who is Tortured and Knows Nothing. We have Tyrion, the Witty Antihero. We have Arya and Brienne, the Strong Female Characters. We have Cersei the Evil Queen, Robb the Young Hero, Catelyn the Grieving Mother, Joffrey the Sadistic Psycho, Margaery the Sexy Schemer, Sansa the Abuse Puppet, Loras the Camp Gay, Olenna the Cunning Grandma, Tywin the Magnificent Bastard, Jaime the Older One Handed Sassy Lannister We Maybe Like But Not as Much as Tyrion, Littlefinger the Scheming Bastard, Theon the Guy With No Dick, Stannis the Crazy Asshole, Davos the Gruff Sidekick, Mel the Femme Fatale, Dany the Dragon Lady, etc etc. You can literally sum up their character arcs or how they will ever act according to two words. Once again, the creators figure, “eh, it’s a big show and there are lots of characters, we gotta give them exactly one trait that we will hammer home again and again so people remember.” One of the unusual and groundbreaking things about ASOIAF is that it steadfastly resists defining its characters into boxes. We have POVs from “good” and “bad” people alike, and all of them do good and bad things. There are no Dark Lords with ugly orcs vs. beautiful elves; everyone is human, everyone’s subjectivity and fallibility is explored. Whereas in the show, the last thing they do is challenge any of these ideas. They put their characters in that box and by golly, they keep them there. They took the most surface and stereotypical reading of everybody and that’s what they made to serve as the characters instead.

Once more, I realize making and adapting a TV show is difficult. I realize that ASOIAF in particular had a huge set of challenges. But it wouldn’t be hard to make a show that didn’t have this pervasive gross mindset and bastardized, shallow versions of great characters and everything in the story tailored and manipulated to make it “shocking.” This could truly be great television and do justice to what the creators have claimed is a story they love, and it wouldn’t have required anything fundamentally different from the process that already exists. But because they have gone the route that they have, it has devolved into shock-value softcore porn with character arcs they are more or less making up from their fanfiction and headcanons. Fine, it’s their show, nobody can stop them. It’ll still make gigabucks for HBO. Everyone will still gossip at the water cooler about what happened last night, and journalists will write lots of articles about how GOT is “pushing the envelope.” Which equals buzz, buzz, buzz. So why do they want to change a successful formula? And in the meantime, people like me are just going to be told that hey, we have to shut up and deal with it, because that’s how TV works. You know, because we probably don’t understand.

anonymous asked:

The fact that Beyonce started off the feminism part with "We teach girls that they can not be sexual beings in the way that boys are" right after Partition instead of what it usually starts with is amazing because she was judged so hard for the lyrics of Partition and she purposely moved the part about women not being able to embrace their sexuality so it was said right after that song. And if you don't think that's inspiring and beautiful you're wrong.

Oh my god my Queen is a genius ❤❤❤