oh god why am i still going

still really want lesbian Love Square, just, yes please. Ladybug being like “stay safe, pretty girl” at Adrienne Agreste while internally SCREAMING at herself and Marinette fucking SWOONING every time Adrienne does another ad wearing some glitzed-to-fuck gown that she would a) kill to wear herself, b) kill to have designed, c) kill to get to take OFF her AHHHHH SHE DIDN’T MEAN TO THINK THAT PART OH GOD ALYA HEEEELP 

Alya’s like “omg my precious bb I have no idea why you think I am going to be any help here at ALL but ok let’s go talk to Rose and Juleka, THEY’LL know how to hit on girls” 

Rose and Juleka do not know how to hit on girls. Rose is politely confused as to why they think they would? (Juleka is silently dyyyyyyying) 

Alya: TO THE INTERNET 

literally everyone else: NOT THE INTERNET 

Alya: the internet was the wrong choice 

ALSO WHO HERE HAS FEELINGS ABOUT CHAT NOIR BEING DELIGHTED TO HAVE THE FREEDOM TO HIT ON GIRLS ALL SHE WANTS?? SHE WILL HIT ON LADYBUG. SHE WILL HIT ON MARINETTE FROM HER CLASS. SHE WOULD PROBABLY HIT ON ALYA TOO BUT NINO ALREADY EXPLAINED THE BRO CODE AND IT SEEMS IMPORTANT?? 

also if her father asks Nino is definitely her very supportive boyfriend with excellent grades and a promising future in the music industry who does not say “dude” every two words, okay, PLEASE NINO PLEASE GO ALONG WITH THIS FOR ME, SIS CODE ME HERE 

My Actual Reactions To The New Video :S̺͍͉͔͉̞̪Ḁ̸̰̮͝Y̶̪ ̳͇̭͍̥̭͉ͅG̕҉̡̦̲O̤̫͖͎̗͜͞ͅÒ̴̬̠̺̪̥͉̳͉̥͝D̨̺̦̯͙͙͔̯͚͠B̸̬̻̝͉͍̻̀͝Y҉̫̝̖̹̝̠͠E̲̩͟͝ͅ

-Here we go bitches!! I’m scared!!!!  

-Aw Jack your so excited and happy oh no 

-He’s pretty. 

-Aw it’s so cute I’m still scared 

- Not the knife 

-OH SHIT WTF IM SORRY GERALD 

-omg put the knife down 

-Don’t slap the pumpkin 

-Glitch glitch glitch 

 -Blooooood

-NO WTF 

 -HAHA JACK V FUNNY 

 -IM NERVOUS ACTUALLY LIKE I KNOW ITS NOT REAL WHY AM I ANXIOUS? 

-Shadows fuck man I saw that

 -Twitchy eye

 -Gerald’s face is how I feel right now 

 -AAHHH 

 -not the knife again Jack omg 

 -THERES STILL 5 MINUTES LEFT 

 -poor Gerald 

 -HAHA YOURE HEARING SOMETHING GLITCH GLITCH 

 -YEAH ITS THE NEIGHBORS 

 -Gerald is honestly so cute 

 -OH MY GOD SO GRAPHIC WTF 

 -AAAHHHH 

 -JUMSCARE YOU GOT ME BITCH 

 -HES HERE BITCHES 

 -WOWZA THAT WAS NUTS 

 -WHAT 

 -JACK?  GERALD??  

-I FEEL WEIRD 

 -OK COOL

-I’m going to watch that again now.

Free Him//An Ahkmenrah Imagine

Summary: You’re Nicky’s older cousin and he and Larry show you the museum and you go into the Egypt exhibit and hear Ahk screaming and pounding on the lid, but Larry and Teddy both tell you not to open it, but you do it anyway. (Story line’s a little wonky, but you get the general idea behind it. I kind of skipped the Dick Van Dyke chasing them scene, I hope you don’t mind. The tablet’s still stolen though.)

.

“Okay, so tell me again why we’re sitting in the security office at the Museum of Natural History waiting for the museum to close?” you asked your cousin. “I didn’t come all the way out here from San Francisco to sit in a security office.”

“Just wait. It’ll be awesome, I promise,” he said, bouncing in his seat like he was three. 

“It better be,” you said. “What do you wanna do?”

“We could watch a movie,” he suggested. “Finding Nemo?”

“You got it.” You pulled the movie up on the computer screen and for the next few hours, you and Nicky watched Disney movies until Larry came to get you.

“Okay guys, you ready?”

Nicky nodded, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Kid, you gotta stop bouncing. You’re gonna go straight through the roof,” you joked.

“Nick, why don’t you go wait for Jed and Octavius to wake up? Here’ I got them a new car, seeing as Rexy stepped on the last one.” Your uncle handed his son a remote car and the kid ran off.

“Who are Jed and Octavius? And why are they sleeping in the museum? Also, who’s Rexy?”

“You’ll see in about twenty seconds,” was his response. You sighed and sat on the desk.

“Get off,” he said, not looking away from the T-Rex skeleton. You stuck your tongue out at his back, but did as he asked.

“Larry, it’s been twenty seconds and I don’t see any holy shit," you gasped as the skeleton came to life and nuzzled your uncle’s face. "Larry what is going on?”

“Long story short, there’s a magic Egyptian tablet that brings all the exhibits in the museum to life.”

“This tablet wouldn’t happen to be in the Egyptian section of the museum, would it?”

“Where else would it be?” He turned around and saw the look on your face. “(Y/N), don’t you dare.”

“I’m gonna touch it.”

“No, you’re not.”

“I’m gonna touch it!” you yelled, laughing gleefully as you took off down the hall.

“Who’s that then Lawrence?” Teddy asked, riding up on Tex.

“My niece. I have to find her before she deliberately breaks all the rules.”

Teddy laughed. “I like her. She’s got spirit.”

“Yeah, well Attila might not see it that way when she braids his hair when he’s not looking.”

Teddy laughed again. “Hop on Lawrence. Let’s see if we can catch her." 

The two of them took off down the hall after you.

You were already in the exhibit, looking around at all the cool artifacts. Then you saw the tablet. You walked up to it, skirting around the sarcophagus in front of it. 

You examined the thing, admiring the handiwork of whoever had made it. Something in the sarcophagus began pounding on the lid and screaming, nearly giving you a heart attack.

"What the fuck!” you yelled.

“Language (Y/N),” Larry said, coming through the door on horseback sitting behind Teddy Goddamn Roosevelt. 

“Are you gonna let him out or what?”

“Are you kidding me?” Larry laughed. “No way! He’s gonna try to take over everything. That’s what Teddy told me at least.”

You glowered at both of them. “It’s not fair! I saw Attila the fricking Hun running around with his Mongols. You’re telling me that one pharaoh is gonna cause more trouble than he is?”

“I don’t know (Y/N), but we aren’t letting him out, do you understand?”

You vaguely registered that the screaming had stopped, but you were too pissed off to care. “Hey Larry, let’s stick you in a sarcophagus so you can hear everyone else running amok and having fun while you’re stuck in a coffin!”

You stomped out of the room, Larry and Teddy following, but at a great distance. “Dicks,” you muttered under your breath, and went off to find Nicky.

You were successful in your mission, finding him on the back of the tyrannosaurus, trying to find the guys who had stolen the tablet. “Hey Nick! You wanna go free a 4,000 year old pharaoh?” you shouted.

He shook his head. “We gotta find these guys. Besides, Dad says we aren’t allowed.”

You were surrounded by morons. You were gonna have to do this yourself. Running back down the hall, you successfully avoided Larry and Teddy, but you ran into a pair of twenty foot tall jackal headed guards.

“You have got to be kidding me,” you groaned under your breath. “Look, guys, I’m here to let him out!” you yelled, pointing at the sarcophagus. “I’m gonna free him!" 

By some miracle, they understood you and let you pass. You shoved the heavy marble slab off the coffin and it landed on the ground with a crash. Yanking the pins out from around the edges, you jumped back as the person inside pushed off the lid and sat up.

"Oh fuck,” you mumbled, taking in the mummy in front of you.

It began to unwrap its bandages. “Abort, abort, abort!” you hissed.

The guy pulled the last of the bandages off, and coughed out a bunch of dust. Oh man this guy was a babe.

“Never mind.”

“You would not believe how stuffy it was in there. What was that you were saying?”

“Nothing. You’re Ahkmenrah, right?”

He nodded. “Fourth king of the fourth king and the ruler of the land of my fathers.”

“I’m just gonna call you Ahk. How do you know English?”

“I went to Cambridge University.”

You went to Cambridge.”

“I was on display in the Egyptology department,” he clarified.

“Ah okay. I’m (Y/N). I’m Larry’s niece.”

“(Y/N), I heard you arguing for my release earlier. I am forever in your debt.”

“Not a problem.”

“Now, bestow the tablet upon me so I that I may assume command of my kingdom.”

“Oh Christ,” you muttered. Larry and Teddy were right.

“Uh, yeah about that. I don’t actually have the tablet on me. Some guy stole it. You can come with us to recover it, I guess, but you gotta promise you won’t go batshit crazy on me and start trying to take over everything.”

He looked confused, but nodded nonetheless. 

The jackals busted down a wall and you climbed through. You looked over your shoulder for Ahk, but he wasn’t there.

“Where the hell is he?" 

Your question was answered when he came around the corner with his crown and hopped over the rubble, his robe flying out behind him. "Thanks guys,” you told the guards. “I’ll get him back in one piece.”

.   .   .

He followed the girl in front of him, thinking about how kind of her it was to free him. Also, she was quite beautiful, so waking up to her face wasn’t that bad. The two of them rounded a corner to see Nick and Larry staring out at the havoc being wreaked by the exhibits.

“Larry, what’s going on?”

He turned and saw the two of them standing there. “You released the pharaoh? I told you to do one thing. One thing, (Y/N). What was it?”

“Don’t release the pharaoh.”

“Don’t release the pharaoh! Ans what did you do?”

She hung her head. “I released the pharaoh.”

Ahk felt bad that she was being yelled at on his account, but then he caught sight of her smirk and realized that she knew exactly what she was doing.

“His name is Ahkmenrah by the way. You can call him Ahk.”

“Actually–”

She cut him off. “Ahkmenrah is too much to say all the time. We’re calling you Ahk.”

He liked her. 

Pokemon Professors be like...
  • Oak: I am basically god. But I still don't know your gender.
  • Elm: I'm trying my best. And you're trying your best. And the pokemon are trying their best. And what the fuck am I doing with my life?
  • Birch: FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK I FUCKED UP I FUCKED UP AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
  • Rowan: Go do dangerous things and don't come back unless you are in a wooden box or finished your pokedex. Whichever comes first.
  • Juniper: This task makes no sense. Go fuck shit up.
  • Sycamore: I am so proud of you...um...wait who are you? Who am I? Did I shave this morning?
  • Kukui: I'm the first totally ripped professor. What up?
Dating T.O.P would include
  • “You like?”
  • going through his Instagram while he was on tour because oh my god why am i dating this dork
  • seeing that jawline and like oh that’s why i’m dating this dork
  • “Where do you want to go for your birthday? I’m taking you to the modern art museum but you can still tell me where you want to go.”
  • “Hey, lets take a picture together.”
  • “Sure.”
  • “What are you doing?”
  • “Smiling.”
  • “LOL no sweetie just do what i do.”
  • dumb looking selfies that make the two of you look crazy but you secretly love seeing
  • wondering if someone anyone can tell you what else he likes because you want to buy him things for his birthday but no way you’re buying him a chair
  • no
  • no
  • no
  • ending up buying a chair, him loving it, and taking thousands of pictures every time he misses you
  • “Hey, can we buy a couch?”
  • “No. Chairs only.”
  • “Please???”
  • “No.”
dating T.O.P would include
  • “You like?”
  • going through his Instagram while he was on tour because oh my god why am i dating this dork
  • seeing that jawline and like oh that’s why i’m dating this dork
  • “Where do you want to go for your birthday? I’m taking you to the modern art museum but you can still tell me where you want to go.”
  • “Hey, lets take a picture together.”
  • “Sure.”
  • “What are you doing?”
  • “Smiling.”
  • “LOL no sweetie just do what i do.”
  • dumb looking selfies that make the two of you look crazy but you secretly love seeing
  • wondering if someone anyone can tell you what else he likes because you want to buy him things for his birthday but no way you’re buying him a chair
  • no
  • no
  • no
  • ending up buying a chair, him loving it, and taking thousands of pictures every time he misses you
  • “Hey, can we buy a couch?”
  • “No. Chairs only.”
  • “Please???”
  • “No.”
  • Octavia: Clarke! Clarke! You must run!
  • Clarke: Octavia calm down. What is going on ?
  • Octavia: Bellamy was right all along Clarke! Lexa is a savage. I just overheard her!
  • Clarke: What did you hear Octavia?
  • Octavia: She...she plans on ...oh god...she plans on eating you Clarke
  • Clarke: ....
  • Ocatavia: Clarke why are you grinning!? Don't you understand? Lexa is a cannibal!!!
  • Raven: Oh I am pretty sure she is a vageterian
My Sexuality:
  • Hannibal climbing out of the transport van and turning back to tell Will, “You know Will, you worry too much.” Fucking hell he’s just so damn chipper and he’s practically skipping because he’s out in the sun for the first time in three years and Will is right behind him and he’s hung up his human suit and he’s just being so honest and snarky HANNIBAL STOP BEFORE I START CRYING. 
  • A close second place: Hannibal getting into a police car, pushing a dead body out of the passenger seat and looking up at Will expectantly before he says, “Going my way?” Oh my fucking GOD how did Mads keep a straight face - how did HUGH “fanfic king” DANCY keep a straight face?! What even is this writing? Why am I still screaming about this TWO MONTHS (wow has it really been that long?) LATER?!
22

happy birthday to the Irish one.

In honor of this momentous occasion, I have put together some gifs.


A little Irish potato. His heritage is so strong and he loves it. 

Originally posted by mtv

Niall knows how luscious Harry’s hair is. He is fulfilling every fangirl’s dream rn.

Originally posted by theonewhoprotested

my favorite Niall is rock n roll Niall. Just watch his face while he plays. His entire body screams HOT.

Originally posted by horanbum

An accurate representation of sunshine.

Originally posted by horanbum

Nouis is severely underrated. Side note: hIS ARMS WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME.

Originally posted by nouis-n-stuff

Sharp-dressed Niall should be a regular occurrence.

Originally posted by crazymofas

Fetus Niall.

Originally posted by larrydotcum

Why am I crying

Originally posted by ninicutiepie

Can I photoshop my face into this?

Originally posted by theonewhoprotested

Thank you Liam

Originally posted by faded-city-lights

Bippity-boppity-boo

Originally posted by insidethepantsof1d

“Oh my god” and clutching his lil chest I neED TO SEE THIS EVERYDAY

Originally posted by michael--trash

Can you hear my scream?!

Originally posted by narreyh

Rocker Niall is my favorite Niall

Originally posted by narreyh

BUT NOTHING BEATS THIS. MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE

Originally posted by leodanniels

The reason why I still exist

Originally posted by just1dideas

Fetus Niall + Shirtless Niall = my dead body

Originally posted by niallerpainsme

How riveting.

Originally posted by theperksofbeingcheeky

For real, i sing his solo before I go to bed so I feel loved. “Little Things” keeps me alive

Originally posted by my5beautifulidiots

Is this like a routine-ritual he does? If so, can I be apart of it?

Originally posted by elementhot

STRIPPPPPPPP.

Originally posted by niallsmom

He’s trying so hard i’M LAUGHING

Originally posted by sadloserharry

Smooth.

Originally posted by effubxtch

hiS BACK

Originally posted by guccicomedian

I cried when I saw this

Originally posted by zayn-niall-louis-baby

He needs to be stopped.

Originally posted by whatsupbesideszaynshair

I need to stop.

Originally posted by niallerlouis

No I don’t.

Originally posted by fartyniall

Let us end on a good note.

Originally posted by br0k3ncr0wn

Oh god.

oh no Willow don’t cry. Yes, good job Tara, you go comfort the hell outta this little gi-…woah…they’re kinda close together…uh, I’m likin’ this. TARA DID YOU JUST CALL HER DARLING? Yes yes okay I like it. Willow’s still crying. Woah is Tara leaning in? woah wowowowowowow um okay WOAH OKAY THAT’S KINDA INTENSE OH MY GOD WOW I WAS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS AMAZINGNESS DO IT AGAIN PLEASE YOU TWO ARE MY FAVORITE COUPLE OMG I CANT BELIEVE THE NETWORK ALLOWED THIS YAASSS YOU GO JOSS WHEDON!!!!
—  me watching the buffy “The Body” kiss for the first time
Some of my favourite out of context Grump quotes from 2015
  • “These sons of bitches, people are gonna think this game sucks now.”
  • “You could have easily described my penis just there.”
  • “You might not be able to guess why they call me PeeWeeDidi. I’ll give you a lil’ hint, I’m 3′4″ but I’m full of spunk!”
  • “You have to take off your shirt to shit?” “Well, if it hurts.” “I still don’t understand.”
  • “Oh hey, I smell like shit. I’m not okay with this… fuck.”
  • “The first time I met Ross was at an anime convention. The last time I met Ross is today in the office.”
  • “Did that guy just fall over onto some plants while I was talking about moon shit?”
  • “Excuse me, Sir. You got any of those Shit-Take mushrooms? The skinny ones. The shit takers.”
  • “Frick to the 30th power.” “That is a lot of frick, dude, are you kidding me?”
  • “YOU FUCKING FREAK. YOU’RE A FREAK.” “Oh my god. It sounded like you were working some shit out there. That came from a dark place.”
  • “I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m getting fucked and eating my own pussy at the same time.”
  • “And then I fired again, and then I missed. And then I fired and then I missed. I missed both times. And then I fired, and I missed. This went on for several hours. And then I fired and then I missed.” “And then I was out of bullets, and I got sad. I had a popsicle. Then I passed out in the snow.” “And then I woke up, I reloaded, and I fired. And then I missed.” “I missed again. I fired, I hit something, but it wasn’t what I was going for, so I guess I missed. I passed out again.”
  • “What did you think Randy Quaid would sound like when he was having sex? Refresh my memory.” “He would be like ‘ALRIGHT YOU ALIEN ASSHOLES. I’M BACK!’”
  • “Arin, you do realize I have voice messages from you saying, ‘Hey Dan. Its Arin. Listen, I know you’re busy, but I really need you inside my asshole right now.’” “HAHAHAHA WAIT DID THAT REALLY HAPPEN?” “OF COURSE THAT REALLY HAPPENED.”
  • “God, what if we just fucked one day.”
  • “THIS JUST IN. ARIN WAS TRYING TO CONVINCE DAN THAT ITS TOTALLY AWESOME TO SHOVE A PINKIE IN YOUR BUTTHOLE.”

anonymous asked:

fun fact I wasn't a Leafs fan until I followed you (I'm a Caps fan by nature) but you posted such wonderful things about the team of smol hockey players and I fell in love with them. also you just seem so nice and I don't understand why people are being mean to you. also since you're a Caps fan, if you still need cheering up you should check out andrebearakovsky's "The Caps Lost and You Want to Cry Remedy Masterpost". It's tagged as "oh my holy god this took me literally all day"

omg thank you for the recommendation i’ve seen it going around so i’ll probably actually have to look at it lol. and i’d liek to take credit for turning you into a leafs fan but i am simply just a vessel for general hockey knowledge. they did all the good stuff thesmelves.

merger-she-wrote  asked:

16, 21 (Ben)

16  do you ever hand write? why or why not?

Oh good god no. I will sometimes jot down a note or two but I never write by hand. 

Why? Because I never had the greatest handwriting to begin with but even at my least twitchy my hands still shake so my handwriting just looks like well, like an epileptic’s. Which I am, so. Yeah. Not going to happen. 

this character’s best/worst memory?

Best: His children being born. Worst: Seeing his grandfather die. But the shipper part of me hopes it was walking away from her at Mick Jagger’s gas station and ruining their park opening by being a passive aggressive jerkface. 

Leslie may have forgiven him but I never will! 

Got7 Reaction To Doing Something Stupid In Front Of Their Crush

*GIFs Not Mine*

Reaction Masterlist

Anonymous said:

GOT7 reaction when they do something stupid in front of their crush please and thanks

*because their idiots, loveable idiots that like messing with my feelings but still. This would probably (definitely) happen. And sorry I can’t speak for what stupid thing they do…*

Mark: *as soon as he realizes that his crush is around and witnessed him accidently spill water down his front more than once. He’d probably make this face while she laughed.* oops, well that’s going to leave a great impression…

*GIF Credit: Unable to find original post, please message about credit*

JB: God freaking damn it. She had to come in while they were talking about Dream High 2? why? Oh well…It’s just official that I am never going to be living that down. Ever. DH2 will haunt me forever.

*GIF Credit: @im-jaebun in this post*

Jackson: *his crush walked in while he was having a very-Jackson moment, one he did not, in any sense, want her to witness. And well…Jackson was going to play ostrich and put his head in the sand, or door rather.

*GIF Credit: Unable to find original post, please message about credit*

Junior: *poor embarrassed Jinyoungie… but he just laughs and blushes before trying to play it off smooth…*

*GIF Credit: Unable to find original post, please message about credit*

Youngjae: Everyone pretend nothing happened!! *just turns away from her in shame ignoring that she was a witness to him making a totally horrible face. If he doesn’t look it’s not like he was there right?*

*GIF Credit: Unable to find original post, please message about credit*

BamBam: Oh Y/N you’re here! When did you get here? *casually checking if she saw his embarrassing moment, which she did, which explains the shift in his expression from surprised to more confusion*

*GIF Credit: Unable to find original post, please message about credit*

Yugyeom: Oh well, she already saw. Can’t let her know I’m actually really embarrassed so I’m just going to sit here and smile. Nothing embarrassing about that at least.*

*GIF Credit: Unable to find original post, please message about credit*

TODAY ON DUMB THINGS I DID:

I THOUGHT that my crazy noisy-ass neighbours were putting on music. I’ve yelled and was about to go downstairs, open the door, and yell at them in their faces to shut the fuck up cause it’s 2 am and no one wants to listen to their stupid ass music.

BUT PLOT TWIST: THE MUSIC CAME FROM MY OWN HEADPHONES. Oh my god. I’m so fucking embarrassed. I’m so glad I haven’t yelled at my neighbours. Kill me now.

CEO!Luke Part 4

Y/N’s POV:

“Oh my god!” I yelled again. I nearly drop his coffee due to the site in front me. “Oh! Good morning Y/N!” he smiles at me. I am so sorry sir to intrude but Mr. Hemming’s why aren’t you dressed?!” I say blocking my eyes. He is standing there wet as a dog with a white towel wrapped around his waist. His hair is ruffled up and still wet. “My workout went a little bit late today than usual” he says. “Oh okay um well I’m going to leave your coffee and papers here then” I say putting his stuff on a tiny table near the door. “No Y/N wait” he calls for me as I was halfway out the door. “Yes sir?” I ask. “I need your help picking out a tie” he grins at me in a friendly manner. “Um okay where are your ties sir?” I ask looking around the room. “Here” he says handing me a black checkered tie and a plain grey one. “Which one do you think fits best?” he asks standing still. I hold up each tie one by one against his chest. Tiny water droplets still dripping down his muscles as he breaths slowly making me tense up. His body is toned and the perfect amount of tan. I think I might faint. Stuck in my own little world Mr. Hemming’s notices and coughs “Ms. Y/L/N, everything okay” he asks. “Oh I’m sorry aha um the grey one sir would look best in my opinion” I say embarrassed. “Great thank you so much” he says grabbing his suit and walking off into the bathroom. “And Y/N” he turns back around. “Yes Mr. Hemming’s?” I ask. “I am staying late tonight and I need some papers to be typed up. Do you mind doing that for me? It’s kind of a lot but it would be greatly appreciated” he asks. “Of course sir, not a problem” I smile. “Great, Clara probably has them for you downstairs” he says. “Alright sir, I will leave you to it then” I say walking out. Closing the door, I let out a big sigh. I just saw my boss half naked. Shaking my thoughts away I head downstairs to see Clara.

I see Clara kicking the cabinet where the coffee stands are in the food court. “Come on you fucker” she mumbles slowly. I laugh to myself. “Everything okay?” I ask laughing still. “Oh hey Y/N and no everything’s not alright. This stupid ass Keurig won’t brew my damn coffee. I go crazy without it” she says hitting the Keurig thinking it will work again. “Here let me help” I say replacing her. I lifted up the lid and just replaced another K-cup and shut the lid and pressed brew. “Would you like 8 inches or 10 inches?” I ask her. “10 please” she smiles softly. “You’re a lifesaver Y/N literally” she laughs. “Still joining me for lunch?” she asks sipping her coffee. “Of course!” I say. “Awesome well thank you for saving me” she laughs. “No problem. Oh hey I have been meaning to ask you about the papers Mr. Hemming’s needs because he is staying late tonight” I say. “Oh yeah I have them for you at my desk” she says. She walks over to her desk and puts the papers in a folder for me and hands it to me smiling. Damn that’s a lot. She notices my wide eyes and laughs. “Good luck babe” she chuckles. “I will need it. See you in an hour!” I say walking away. “Bye!” she says. Okay all I have to do is just type these up by the end of the day. I can do this.

25 minutes later..

“I can’t doooo thissss” I groan. This is much harder than I thought but I need to do this for Mr. Hemming’s. I type away until it has been an hour which means lunch time. I take the elevator downstairs and head over to the food court. I order a salad and grab myself a bowl of fruit and sit down with Clara. “How’s the typing coming along?” she asks biting in her sandwich. “I’m almost done but it is a grind. Now I know how you feel” I chuckle. “Thank you. Literally all I do is type and answer phone calls then type again” she laughs. Since we’re both in a laughing mood I decide to tell her about my run in with Mr. Hemming’s this morning. “Hey wanna hear something funny” I chuckle. “Sure haha” she laughs. “So after putting my things down at my desk this morning, I headed over to Mr. Hemming’s office and opened the door to find him half naked! I whisper. “What!?” she said a little too loudly because some heads turned to look at us. “Shh calm down” I laugh softly. “Okay sorry keep going” she says biting her sandwich again. “So I was like h my god sir I’m so sorry and all that and he looked at me so calm like he didn’t care that his assistant was looking at him basically naked” I said. “He was all wet so he must of came out of the shower. So then I asked him like why aren’t you dressed and he told me that his workout went a little longer than it usually does” I say. Clara choked forward. “Oh my god Clara are you okay!?” I ask terrified. I place a hand on her back. She takes a sip of her water and finally calms down. “Are you alright?” I ask making sure she is okay. “Yes thank you but um he told you that his workout went longer than usual?” she asks me. “Yeah why?” I ask confused. “Um I probably didn’t mention this to you but uh Mr. Hemming’s does other workouts than actually working out. Do you know where I am getting at?” she whispers leaning in. “I’m sorry I don’t” I say slowly. Clara leans back in her chair looking around the food court then leaning back into me. “Mr. Hemming’s has mistresses if you wanna call it that” she whispers. Now it was my turn to be loud. “What!? I shout. “Shut up Y/N calm down” she says. “Mistresses? Like he has sexual intercourse with different women every day? I ask. “ First of all Y/N it’s sex and no not everyday. He does work out like a normal person but he also has a couple women that he sees during the week. I don’t know about the weekend because that isn’t my business” she says. My mind is swirling around like crazy. “How do you know all about this” I ask her. “I have been here for 2 years Y/N I know things” she says. “Besides I once caught him  with one of them. They were literally going at it against the elevator door when the door opened and I was standing there. The look in the woman’s eyes were devilish. She smirked at me like I was jealous or something which I wasn’t! Mr. Hemming’s isn’t my type anyway” she says finishing her water. “Poor Clara” I say. “Thanks aha. Anyway now you know” she says getting up. We both throw our trash away and head over to her desk. “How many did you say were there..like mistresses?” I ask. “I think only one now to be honest. I think it’s the one who I caught in the elevator with him. She comes here sometimes and sees him. Only at night though.” she says sitting down at her desk. My eyes widen. “Wait, do you think she is coming tonight since Mr. Hemming’s is staying late?” I ask her. Clara’s eye widen too. “Oh my god, maybe!” she says. “When do you leave tonight?” I ask her. “Not till 10:30” she says groaning. “10:30 really?” I ask. “Yes I have too much to do. How about you?” she asks me. “I don’t know but maybe I’ll take my time with typing up his files so I can see if our mystery mistress will arrive” I smirk looking at Clara. “Y/N if you wanna play spy, then I am totally in” she chuckles. “Haha awesome. I’ll let you get back to work” I say. “Okay thanks, I’ll text you on my personal phone. What’s your number?” she asks. I give her my phone and she puts her number in. “Sweet thanks” I smile. “We’re gonna be like Charlie’s Angels” she laughs. “You know there are 3 of them, right?” I chuckle. “Who cares! she laughs at me.

Heading back to my desk I sit down and continue to type Mr. Hemming’s notes. I hear a click of a door opening. He must be done with another meeting. “Alright Charles, thank you very much” Mr. Hemming’s says walking out with another man and a couple others. “No Luke thank you. You’re a fine man who knows how to run a business” the man smiles at him. I smile too looking at Luke’s face seeing his smile. His beautiful smile. Snap out of it Y/N, he’s taken. Luke escorts the men to the elevator and says goodbye. “How’s it coming along?” he asks me. “Who’s coming, what?” I say. Oh shit. Mr. Hemming’s smiles and says “my notes Ms. YL/N, how are they coming along” he asks. “Oh great sir! Almost done” I say. Lie. “Great. I already told you before that I will be staying late tonight so I would like to have them before you leave today” he says. “Noted sir” I say getting back to work. He smiles and walks back to his office closing the door.

10:00 pm

I have a couple more words to type then I am done with his notes. I am exhausted but also excited because I wanna see if this mystery mistress will show up. My phone lights up and the name Charles Angel #1 pops onto my phone. I answer. “Really the nickname?” I laugh. “Shh I know but our mistress is here and is heading upstairs now. Good luck” she says. Oh god. Why am I nervous? Their relationship has nothing to do with me. I act like I am busy when I hear heels clicking on the floor. It must be her. I look up and see this beautiful woman with wavy black hair wearing a skin tight red cocktail dress with black stilettos on. She completely ignores my presence and walks straight into Mr. Hemming’s office without knocking. I still had Clara on the phone. “She just walked into his office without noticing me” I hissed into the phone. “What a bitch” Clara says. “I know. Do you think I should go in there?” I ask. “Yeah tell that bitch straight” Clara cheers me on through the phone. “I won’t do that. I’ll just go in there and apologize for not knowing that he was having guests” I say. “Okay good luck!” she says hanging up.

I walk over to his door and knock. “Come in” a woman’s voice says. I opened the door slowly and see her basically straddling Mr. Hemming’s with her hands playing with his tie. Luke looks at me his eyes widen. “Y/N! Is there something I can do for you?” he asks kindly. He seems uncomfortable. Probably because there is almost a naked woman on top of him while his female assistant in awkwardly standing in the room. “Um no I just wanted to apologize for not knowing that you would be having guests this evening” I say politely. Mr. Hemming’s was about to say something when she interrupted him. “And who are you?” she asks rudely. “I am Mr. Hemming’s assistant miss” I say. She stands up. “First of all you do not call me Miss. Second, Luke doesn’t need an assistant. He needs someone who takes care of him physically and that is MY job. Not yours. So you can run along-” she was cut off by Luke saying “April that’s enough! Ms. Y/L/N is my assistant because I chose her to be. She does no harm and she’s great at her job. There is no need for you to harass her!” Luke firmly yells at her. April puts on a puppy dog and walks over to Luke, grabbing his tie. “But Lukey, she doesn’t take care of you like I do.” she says into his ear loud enough for me to hear. I cringe at her words. “April that’s enough you can leave now” he says firmly. His jaw tensed. “But daddy-” she was about to finish. “No! Leave now!” he yells at her, ripping her hands away from him. I slowly back away from their argument. “Where do you think your going you little bitch!” April says picking up Luke’s hot coffee and runs towards me. April splashes the hot coffee all over my white pant suit. I scream in pain almost falling.”What the hell is your problem!? I shout at her. “April stop!” Luke yells at her running towards her. “He’s mine you whore!” she says gripping my neck dragging me with both hands and slamming my head against the wall. All the energy leaves my body as my head hits the wall again and again. I fell to the floor in pain my eyes starting to shut. I see guards take April away. Luke must off called them. “I never wanna see your face again Hemming’s. I am so much better than her and you know it!” she yells struggling to free herself from the men bringing her away.

Luke rushes over to me and grabs my head with both of his hands looking down at my face. “Y/N! Y/LN! Can you hear me!?” he shouts bringing me into his arms, laying me on his lap. I couldn’t say anything. My body is too weak to function. My eyes are about to shut when I see Clara and medics running,coming into the doorway. Luke’s face watched me as I almost looked dead in his arms. It’s like I could almost see tears in his eyes. “Y/N! Y/N! Can you hear me?! Luke says again. But I was out like a light.

Hi guys! So that was Part 4 of CEO!Luke I really hope you enjoyed it. I have so many ideas with this story and I really enjoy writing this. :)

If you want Part 5 let me know! :)

@eliotwoah​ ♠ s.c.

      For consistently being the smartest person in the room, his Philosophy of Religion class had been particularly destructive to his fragile ego today. He’d spent the majority of the morning arguing the nature of God’s existence and quite honestly it was too exhausting. If this is how the semester is going to be, Q’s pretty sure he’s going to die.

      Which is why he ends up flopped over on Eliot’s couch ( as usual ), back on the cushions so he can stare up at the beautiful blank white ceiling. When the door opens and closes, he’s still counting the dots of the popcorn texture.

                    “ Oh thank God – well not God. Fuck. I am never going to say thank God ever again. It is an awful expression. Awful. You know why? Because he’s not real – but no. We have to spend an hour trying to prove the existence of something STUPID – hi how was your morning mine was PEACHY. ”