So, the UMBC mascot, True Grit, has basically looked like this for most of its history.
OK, you get it. Oh here’s a fucking dog, an angry chesapeake Bay Retriever, look at him dance and do push ups and pump up the fifty parents who came out for the basketball team tonight. Fairly normal looking mascot though right? In fact, it’s a great looking mascot. I’d follow that thing into hell.
Anyway, when I first went to school, the mascot looked similar. I think it was light brown, not dark brown. I thought it looked good. Not as sleek as the current dog, but if a stranger saw it, they’d be able to connect the dots and say “Oh, I recognize what that mascot is supposed to represent.
BUT THEN, for one awful year, they changed the mascot. They changed it into something HORRIFYING. It looked like the type of creature you meet at the end of a maze.
It hung around for a year, and then they brought “Angry dog” back, thank GOD. Not only that, it was almost impossible to find a picture of it. Like the AD gave a specific order to eliminate all traces of it from the record. Nobody remembers it either! “hey guys did you remember that ugly UMBC mascot” and they’d say “No, I never went to a single sporting event on that shithole of a campus.”
For ten years I’ve been searching in vain for a picture of this fucking creature. I’d almost given up. But fortune favors the persistent and my friends
I present to you.
Where to start? The half horse half dog mask? The gigantic hips? The FUCKING TALONS. Look at those nails! I wonder how many cheerleaders got lacerated by that thing. That’s some alpha predator shit, don’t let the “smile?” fool you. The Athletic Director had to feed that thing chunks of human flesh every night, lest it break it’s chains and start devouring Information Systems majors.
Are U Coming?