Crowley: Do you think that maybe you’re feeling, I don’t know, a little guilty? Hastur: What’s guilty? Crowley: Oh, um, when you feel bad about what you’ve done. Hastur: That’s not a thing! I’m wasting my time talking to you!
Prompt: “You punched me in the face while gesticulating wildly to a friend” AU
- Regulus wondered whether he ought to be pissed off that the guy next to him was talking like he was about to land an airplane or chat him up cause he was just ridiculously cute.
-Honestly who can sport wild hair as such (he could swear to that guy has the wildest hair in the freaking European continent) and look so adorable.
- Back the guy and his even wilder gestures. Who talked like that? Okay maybe toddlers do. But him was very far from being a toddler. He looked around Regulus’ age. Maybe a year or two older.
-“You should have watch that match. Giroud was so fucking great and that kick! I swear to any deity you want, that kick was gold.”
- His arms were flying in every direction. He sincerely looked he had the intention of making a plane land from the line to the cashier in a supermarket.
-Reg was trying very hard, believe me, to keep his eye-rolling and huffing to a minimum.
-It was then that it happened. The guy apparently decided that a supermarket was the place to enact how fucking Giroud celebrated his goal and punched Regulus hard in the face.
-He was seeing stars and felt blood pumping loudly in his ears. And appatently something happened because next thing he was aware was strong arm around him and a voice somewhere rambling.
-“og my god. I’m so sorry. Oh god. What am I suppose to do. Oh Remus stop laughing will you?! I just hit a pretty man hard on the face.”
-to be honest, Regulus was already back to his senses when he heard the ‘pretty man’ comment. But he appreciates being in those strong and warm arms. So he takes for a few more minutes.
-When the man became way too hysterical, Regulus decided it was time.
-He was hearing things like: “omg. I’m going to be out in jail.” “What if hell really exists? I’m already going for being queer. I don’t wanna make a race of it.” “He’s so pretty Remus. Why do I have to literally HIT on him?!”
-“Ugh. It’s okay. I’m fine. You didn’t really hit me that hard”. Reg was already proceeding to standing up.
-“I’m really sorry. I really didn’t mean to-”
-“Do you really find me pretty?”
-The man sputtered for a few moments “uhh…I…you…you heard that?”
Ignoring the question, Regulus extended his hand. “I’m Regulus.”
-“James” he replied automatically.
-James’ hand was pleasantly warm and calloused in his hand.
-“Well James. Why don’t you buy me as a proper apology and then, you can hit on me.” He smirked slightly when James’ from widening.
-The two of them left for their coffee.
-Two years later, Remus still love to narrate about how James and Regulus meet up and how his friend shamelessly abandoned him for some cute guy.
-“James punched Reggie on the face. Reg fainted and then when he wakes up, he chatted James up and my friend of 13 years betrayed me for some pretty face.
IT’S TIME IT’S TIME IT’S TIME IT’S TI-
OH MY FCUKINH GOD OG MY FUCKUBH GOD OMFGGBASDFJFKDKGJHSNCKSJXJSYHRJSJDJSKFKKAXJkASDFJFKDKGJHSNCKSJXJSYHRJSJASDFJFKJHSNCKSJXJSYHRJSJDJSKFKKAXJkDJSKFKASDFJFKDKGJHSNCKSJXJSYHRJSJDJSSJJSJKSKKKCKSKVKSKGKSKFKSKCKSJKGJSJFKDJGKSOFKDJFKCJKCKKCKKFFIJDISKDOWJDJWKFKEKSJDK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!AMSKDKSKFMKSCKSKKFKSKD
Anathema: I found a man who needed help, so I helped him. Crowley: Oh yeah? That simple? Anathema: *looking at an unconscious Newt* Do you really want to get into this in front of him? Aziraphale: He’s out. Anathema: Maybe he’s faking. Aziraphale: *listens* He’s not. Anathema: Okay, that right there? That’s what I’m talking about. Okay, I find two guys in a road who turn out to be some kind of supernatural beings who can do all this really weird shit like fix bikes and sense whether someone’s unconscious or faking it. Slap on top of that, they can take an unbelievable amount of punishment without one damn complaint. Crowley: The last part’s the Catholicism.