Me: *almost certain we’ve had this conversation before* yes its a monk, he lives with 2 bears and a toddler.
Him: *eyebrows almost hit his hairline * What?
Me: the toddler was left on his doorstep.
Him: *looks at cat for explanation*
Me: you just don’t know how to have fun ]:
Him: he’s a monk! They’re the opposite of fun, it’s against their religion.
Me: no, he’s a monk from before the fun parts were taken out ]: he could have a woman if he wanted, he just hasn’t met one he’s more sexually attracted to than the bears, and since i won’t let him bone the bears…
Him: *covers face with hands clearly ashamed* oh my god.