oh god it's so shit

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lance: HEY GUYS CHECK THIS OUT *plays the john cena song terribly on a recorder with his nose like in that one vine

keith: stop 

lance: why :(

keith: because *takes out a kazoo* i want in on this so we have to restart 

lance: *tears up* this is why i’m in love with you

imagine how much better the Thor movies would’ve been if Frigga were actually written in a realistic way rather than a ‘women don’t talk when the menfolk are talking’ way

I mean she’s a powerful magic user and more importantly she’s a MOM. Thor and Loki wouldn’t have gotten away with SHIT. The entire goddamn plot never would’ve happened, no wonder they dumbed her down.

Frigga would’ve busted in like “NO THOR, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO JOTUNHEIMR, YOU’RE GOING TO YOUR ROOM. YOU’RE GROUNDED FOR A WEEK. SIF, HOGUN, FANDRALL, VOLSTAGG, YOU’RE ALL GROUNDED FOR A WEEK. I DON’T CARE IF YOU’RE ADULTS, I AM YOUR QUEEN AND YOU ARE ALL GROUNDED.”

and then she’d whip it around on Loki like “DON’T YOU LAUGH. I KNOW WHAT YOU DID. YOU WANT YOUR FATHER TO HEAR HOW FROST GIANTS GOT INTO ASGARD? THEN YOU’D BETTER GET YOUR BUTT IN YOUR ROOM TOO, YOUNG MAN. THAT’S WHERE YOU’RE GOING TO BE FOR THE NEXT CENTURY.”

2

the punchline is that i still haven’t figured out how to draw allura

Draco Malfoy and the Lip Balm Dilemma

Imagine if because of all the times that Draco spits out ‘Potter’ he begins to develop really sore and cracked lips

So he begrudgingly goes to Madame Pomfrey for some sort of magical balm, each and every time refusing to say how he got his lips into such a state

Eventually it becomes so bad, despite his desperate attempts at magic and using tonics and potions- that Draco is made to remain mute for at least 48 hours to give his lips a break

Horrified and extremely embarrassed, Malfoy would have to skulk to each of his classes, his Slytherin scarf pulled up to his nose so that nobody would bother attempting to bribe him into conversation

Imagine that in the last 24 hours Malfoy has been avoiding Harry like the plague, unable to cope with being in close proximity to the boy unless able to talk and throw vicious teasing insults at his stupid scar head

So it just so happens that due to his Malfoy obsession and consequent oblivious nature Harry has been tracking Malfoy’s movements around the castle, sure he must be up to something devious. That’s when, as Malfoy is aggressively shoving aside some first years to get to potions on time, that Harry dives out of an alcove and knocks Draco sideways, both of them toppling over in a bundle of limbs, cloaks and flying books.

Malfoy, unable to even scream his annoyance, is left bitchfacing and glaring as hard as he can at Harry, trying to get across his signature ‘Potter’ snarl without actually speaking

In the tumble Malfoy’s scarf has got pulled down and it was then that Harry sees the pale boy’s flaked and puffy pink lips, atrociously sore to behold

'Uh- that looks-’

Malfoy, glaring at Harry, shoves the messy haired Gryffindor off of him and hastily tugs his scarf back up over his face, cheeks red and obviously furiously annoyed

Harry grabbing at Malfoy’s arm as he desperately tries to run away, both boys devolving into a childish game of flapping hands and shoves before Harry grabs Malfoy even tighter, shaking him a little as he delves into his pocket

Malfoy, sure Potter is about to hex him, swinging out with his foot and kicking Harry about the knees with deliberate aim

'OW! Jesus- stop! Look!’ Harry bringing his hand forward and revealing what looks like a miniature putter-outer, only plastic and a cherry red colour

Malfoy frowning and raising his eyebrows in confused agitation

'It’s uh- lip balm. It’s a muggle thing, for sore lips. My aunt and uncle gave it to me for Christmas but I think you’d find it more useful’

Draco, wary of such an unusual offering from the boy he so avidly hates, holds Harry’s bright sincere gaze as he reaches out and takes the balm, wondering what kind of family gave such a lacklustre present to their nephew

Malfoy nodding in awkward acceptance of Potter’s kindness until Harry smiles slightly and backs off

'Now you can stop moping about the castle’ Potter beams with a sudden devilish smirk

'See you soon, Malfoy. Can’t wait for the new insults’

Draco, spluttering and wheezing with his inability to form a witty retort, watches Harry go with a furious blush about his ears and neck

Draco stunned into place, rage churning in his stomach, after a second or two glancing around to make sure he’s alone before curiously popping the cap off the lip balm and smearing it across his sore lips, wondering if maybe Potter has used this before him and not quite sure why that thought makes him feel particularly jelly like

Every time this person pop up in the Fr//eed Just//ine tag with their Mi//raxus I feel so much negativity wellng up god

6

When I was eight years old, my father made me join a swim club. He’d been on the same club and he said that the things that he learned in that locker room were the things that made him the man that he is today. I hated that locker room. At that age I was really uncomfortable with my body. I didn’t like to be naked especially in front of other boys. But you had to take a shower before you could go in the pool so I would do it, but I would wear my swimsuit and a t-shirt. And the boys would tease me but I would try to hurry and ignore them and it worked for awhile. And then one day it didn’t. I don’t know how it started but I remember having this feeling that something bad was going to happen. I made the mistake of standing up for myself. The hot water came from the same boiler that heated the radiator. I still have scars on my stomach from the second degree burns. That locker room might have made my father the man that he is, but it also made me the woman that I am. After that, I quit the swim club. I quit trying to fit in, trying to be one of them. I knew I never would be. But more importantly, I didn’t want to be. Their violence was petty and ignorant but ultimately it was true to who they were. The real violence, the violence I realized was unforgiveable, is the violence that we do to ourselves, when we’re too afraid to be who we really are.

So I’m slugging through my drafts folder at the moment, and I’m seeing all these half-finished prompts that I should have finished by now, and I’m actually properly editing them. So y’all probably know what this means. 

Yep. New fics coming soon. 

Don’t hold your breath though, folks. 

xx

i want more stories with thor loving on his and loki’s children together

and thor sparring with them in the morning before sending them straight to loki for magic lessons

and thor supervises the magic lessons bc he wants to be more involved and not give the kids the impression that magic is something only loki likes or that its not something to share with father

and loki incorporates his style of fighting too and blends it with magic

so their kids grow up not separating themselves based on skills and their parents’ preferences, and so history doesn’t repeat itself in those ways

5

So I’m working like a dog on uni animation and art and it has hit the point that I need something else arty to do on the side. Something mindless and fun, no drama no stress but creative nonetheless. 

Like doodling blog impressions! This lot is, in order, @gharesh-ri @deenaabeanie @sprongtoosh @neorescue and @blue-moon-42

Willing to do more, so like… show me some blogs maybe? It’d be nice to have a stash of names to the side easy to pluck up, although do understand I probably won’t get to everything. I gotta treat these like little breaks, just something to warm up or down with when I’ve had enough drawing of the same thing over and over and over @_@

But as for the process: I check out your blog and doodle to my strongest impression. What it keys in on depends on what catches my thought process the most! It might be theme displays, music playlists, titles, descriptions, or even some posts on the page I hit. Who knows, it’s a mystery. 

i did a crappy cover (if u can even call it that) of a song for @dogflipflops bc he needs cheering up and if this terribly played ukulele and shit voice doesn’t help then u can listen to the original which is a nice song 😊