oh god i'm not okay at all

  • Lauren: Okay guys, how do I ask Camila out?
  • Ally: Roses are red, violets are blue. Guess what, my bed has room for two.
  • Lauren: Oh my god, no!
  • Normani: Twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car.
  • Lauren: STOP IT!
  • Dinah: Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream.
  • Lauren: Fuck you all. I'm leaving.
i. my mother tells me:
every time you’re nervous,
say you’re excited, it’ll help
your anxiety
and i said:
okay, i’m willing to try anything
  
ii. when you look at me i feel
little arrows shooting through me,
a falcon wing, a feather quill, a
poem writing itself on the back of my skull
  
iii. what if when i talk to you
all that comes out of my mouth
is a jumble of letters,
a mumble or worse talking too much or
not enough or what if i accidentally say the wrong thing
and we never talk again or what if
  
iv. i’m excited i’m excited i’m excited excitedexcitedexcited
 
v. good morning how are you, good morning
you’re so pretty i get flustered when you speak,
good morning i love those freckles and
the dimples of your cheeks, good morning that sounded
really creepy, good morning my name is, good morning,
hey, how ya doin, yo, oh my god i’d never say yo what is this
the 90’s, i’m trying to hard aren’t i, i’m not trying enough
maybe, okay again try again - good morning
  
vi.  you look at me and 
 
vii. i’m excited.
—  r.i.d/inkskinned

I said “Can you give it back to me?”
She said “Never in your wildest dreams.”

Lucy & Loke from We Are Young: Track 19
…because no i’m not crying you’re crying

  • alec: okay guys, how do i ask magnus out?
  • izzy: roses are red, violets are blue. guess what, my bed has room for two.
  • alec: oh my god, no!
  • clary: twinkle twinkle little star, we can do it in a car.
  • alec: STOP IT!
  • jace: row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, I can make you scream.
  • alec: fuck you all. i'm leaving.
  • Qrow: Alright everyone. This is Oscar.
  • Oscar: H-hello everyone. *awkward wave*
  • Qrow: He's-
  • Jaune: Your son?
  • Qrow: What? No.
  • Nora: Oh, I get it! He's possibly your son who you are waiting for the dna test to come back right?
  • Ocsar: What!? NO!! He isn't me dad!
  • Ren: *places his hand on Oscar's shoulder.* It's okay. I know it must be difficult to accept someone like Qrow to be your father.
  • Qrow/Oscar: I'M/HE'S NOT HIS/MY FATHER! I JUST MEET HIM!
  • Jaune: Uh, Then why are you hanging with a kid?
  • Qrow: He's... a student of Ozpin's. Ozpin told me if he ever died I was to give him his cane and continue his training.
  • Oscar: *whispers* Nice cover.
  • Ozpin: Agreed. Qrow always was good at think on his-
  • Ruby: OH THANK GOD! *Qrow, Oscar, and team jn_r all turn to stare with raised eyebrow at a little to happy Ruby, who notices this and starts to blush.* I, uh... I'm just... glad that Oscar isn't, uh, rela-IIIIII mean A LONG LOST SON! Yeah that's it! Hehe...hehe...
  • Oscar: *Starts blushing as well.* Uh , Y-yeah... It would be unfortunate if we were relat-LONG Long lost relative.
  • Qrow: *looks between the two before pointing to Oscar* No. *then points to Ruby.* No! *Points back to Oscar.* HEEEEELL No!
  • Ruby/Oscar: Waht?
  • Ozpin: Oscar I know your hormones are hard to control but you can NOT date one of my students.
  • Oscar: *whispers* What ar-
  • Ozpin: NO DATING MY STUDENTS!
Day6 As Things I've Overheard
  • Jae: "okay but do we all agree that if I was a dog I would be a chihuahua?"
  • Sungjin: "why is customer service being rude to me that's my children's job"
  • Young K: "if I eat this whole pickle in one bite you gotta pay me 50 bucks"
  • Wonpil: "don't touch me I'm a fucking ray of sunshine"
  • Dowoon: "the only reason I hang out with you guys is because I got waitlisted when I applied for better friends"

sansael  asked:

Your response made me think of an au, but since I virtually know anything about Janeway, an AU where mission goes wrong, and Jim has to teach English literature in 21st century school.

!!!!!!!!!! YES. Oh my god. Okay. Good yes. And Spock ends up teaching physics and people are always coming to Jim like “Listen, Mr. Kirk. You seem to give us A’s so long as we’re philosophizing eloquently enough about the modern implications of literary classics, but all of us are failing Mr. Spock’s class. You’re friends, right? Can you talk to him?”

And Jim would go to Spock and review his lesson plans like “Spock, babe, why are you trying to teach 21st century high school students how to create an antimatter converter?!!!!!”

“…. this is rudimentary physics, Jim.”

  • Alex: Oh, do me a favor, peel this apple for me, please.
  • John: No, no, I’m not gonna peel an apple for you.
  • Alex: But Herc always does it for me.
  • John: Why does Herc peel your apples for you?
  • Alex: He doesn’t like for me to eat the apples with the skin on it, he says the skin’s loaded with toxins.
  • John: Okay, well, good news - Herc's not here.
  • Alex: I know he's not here and that’s why I need you to do it for me. PLEASE, PLEASE.
  • John: Oh Jesus, just eat it with the skin on it.
  • Alex: I do not LIKE IT with the skin, John. I'm not ALLOWED to eat it with the skin, I'm not ALLOWED!
  • John: OH MY GOD, all right. If you just shut up, I will peel the apple for you the way Herc likes you to eat it! Give it to me, give it to me! I’ll do it the way Herc insists, okay?
Autistic Newt Scamander Headcanons
  • - What is eye contact?
  • - animals are better than people cuz people try to look you in the eyes and talk to you
  • - I want to hug you but I'm not good with physical affection so I'll just pat you awkwardly yay good talk
  • - let's cuddle yay NOPE NEVER MIND I GOT UNCOMFORTABLE BYE
  • - I can't eat this it contains the Forbidden Food
  • - OH MY GOD A LOUD NOISE IM GONNA DIE
  • - I need to cut all the tags off my clothes because I don't want them TOUCHING ME
  • - *Hangs out with the pet at parties*
  • - Vocal stims
  • - Flappy hands
  • - Im trying to explain this but my words aren't working I'll just show you instead
  • - the Forbidden Fabric has touched me but I'm okay, I'm good. I'm definitely not about to have a meltdown
  • - *infodumps to show love*
instagram

Daesung deserved this Dome Tour so much T.T

Utautai no Ballad - D-Lite Japan Dome Tour - Day 2

cr. bigsxbigbang

Okay this is the official presentation for my fic (even though I’ve linked it like 5000 times already), but it’s finally finished and I’m shamelessly posting it again because it is 55 THOUSAND WORDS, OKAY? I thought it was gonna be maybe 20k. I’m dead. The next longest fic I’ve ever published is only 7k okay bye.

(Sorry in advance for the ridiculously long summary ahead; I’m not even gonna pretend that I’m not using everything in my arsenal to convince you guys to go read it.)

title: When the Levee Breaks
rating: explicit
word count: 55k
summary: Season 14 is the last season of Supernatural. The show is ending at 300 episodes, and Jared and Jensen have big plans for their future…plans that don’t involve wives or bearding or lying to everyone… But even the best-laid plans go awry…It all comes to a head at the series wrap party, and Jensen has to figure out a way to help Jared pick up the pieces, making sure he himself doesn’t fall apart in the process.
notes: I had this core idea for a j2 story and it just exploded into something way bigger and slightly different (and much better, in my opinion) than what I was imagining. But I’m really happy with it, especially because I feel like the fandom is always a little sparse with my always favorites: j2 non-au fics (sparse compared to au and other pairings), so I’m really happy to be able to add to that.

excerpt 1: Jensen waited a few minutes. He didn’t mind waiting until Jared was ready, now that he knew Jared was going to talk. One hand was tangled in Jared’s hair, scratching softly at his scalp. The other was gripping Jared’s hand, fingers laced together like he never wanted to let go. When he heard Jared take a deep breath, he knew it was time.

“It feels like I’m on this edge, and I could fall backwards or forwards. If I go back, I’ll feel better; if I fall forwards, I’m—I’ll break. But I can’t move, it’s like I’m stuck in limbo, and it’s getting to the point that I think even falling forwards, even if I have to break apart to do it, would still be easier than staying on this edge indefinitely. I feel like—like I’m slowly going crazy, like everything is boiling right at the surface but I can’t do anything. I’m stuck. I just want to come down.”

Jared poured his thoughts out and Jensen collected them quietly, rolling them around in his head, trying to sort through and organize and make sense of what Jared was saying. He didn’t get it completely, but he was finally able to understand something. He could work with that.

excerpt 2: Jensen was pacing nervously at the foot of the extra- large California king hotel bed. Jared was sprawled lazily across it, his eyes following Jensen. His expression was one of almost boredom but Jensen knew Jared was just putting up a front to hide his concern; whether the concern was over the convention or Jensen’s behavior, he wasn’t too sure. Maybe a bit of both?

“How are you so calm?” Jensen snapped, not bothering to look at Jared. He could feel Jared raise his eyebrows in minor irritation. “Sorry,” he apologized after a minute, then sagged onto the edge of the bed. Jared was behind him immediately, pulling Jensen back against his shirtless chest.

(“It’s fucking hot!” Jared had explained when he’d discarded the shirt earlier. “Babe, we’re staying at a four-star hotel with four-star AC,” Jensen had pointed out. “Fine. Maybe I just know you’re gonna get nervous and start to freak out and I’m using my body to try and distract you!” Jensen hadn’t replied, as he’d been too distracted staring at Jared’s half-naked body.)


And I just want to throw out a quick but heartfelt thanks to @kynthosmojo, @salamancialilypad, and @seraphyde666 <3

Nobu throws dirt, not shade

2

🌹💌 send these to tae and tell him i love him 😪💘

Keep reading

In Time

The world around, just for a millisecond, seems to numb. All sound is sucked out of the atmosphere itself. All Sabo can hear is the crack of his boots on the stone below, and blood pulses through his ears like war drums in his mind. Every cell in his body aches, but he pushes on. It’s been a long journey to get here, peppered with storms and regret, and the young revolutionary can’t remember the last time he slept. He certainly doesn’t feel like the strong revolutionary he is in this tired, young body. In this world, he comes as a brother, not a soldier.

Heavy breathing. Blonde hair heavy with sweat falls into Sabo’s eyes, and he shoves another body out of the way so hard that they don’t get back up again. Ahead, shrouded in dust and smoke, Luffy has fallen to the ground – he doesn’t look the same as he did when Sabo last saw him. His chest is unscarred, eyes filled with horror, shoulders shaking. Alone on the ground, Luffy seems so small in comparison to the Pirate King that he was when his brother last laid eyes on him at the execution stand. His little brother looks young; too young to be in this war, too young to have to watch what’s about to happen.

No. Sabo won’t let it happen again, not this time. Screw timelines, screw what this might mean for the world. He had a chance to go back and change things. His devil fruit – Ace, living on somehow through Sabo’s own blood – didn’t approve. Neither did Dragon. Sabo doesn’t care. His mind has been overtaken by some alien force, a thirst for the thing he’s been missing for the decade since Ace’s death. A thirst to change things.

Sabo pushes this lean, twenty-year old body harder. The world is still numb, strangely quiet, as if drawing breath as it watches on. The weight of everything Sabo has ever wished for weighs heavily on his shoulders. This is it. This is the moment where the timeline changes. Ace lunges forward. Luffy’s eyes, brown reflecting magma and fire, widen. Sabo takes a flying leap, coat flaring out behind him, just as Akainu raises his fist.

Everything speeds back up.

Sabo barrels into his brothers with enough force to send them both flying back but makes sure to wrap an arm around each, blood singing in his veins. Ace yells out, pushing back against Sabo with rage in his eyes, and the heat radiating harshly from him is tangible. Luffy is limp at the blonde’s other side, and Sabo’s eyes are too blurred to see his face properly. Heat explodes behind them. The Red Dog is angered, magma pouring from him copiously, but his moment is over. Sabo did it. He took his chance, and the world feels like it’s shifting before his very eyes. There’s no going back now.

“Made it on time!”

The yell escapes from his throat before he can stop it, something between a victory cry and a threat. The battlefield is silent for a split second, and Sabo can hear his voice echoing through it over and over, a reinforcement of his own success. Of Ace’s survival. At the distinctive Grey Terminal lilt that laces the ex-noble’s voice, Ace freezes, a strange expression overthrowing the anger on his face. Luffy’s eyes widen, filling with hope and elation.

All three brothers hit the ground, hard. The world comes back to Sabo in a rush like a tsunami, and suddenly they’re running again, Ace and Luffy stumbling and yelling, both confused as to what’s happening but elated at what they just heard. Heat pushes at Sabo’s senses, so intense that panic floods his veins like a drug, and for a second he sees the boat burning around him. Then, it’s gone. The battlefield replaces everything from the past, and surprisingly, the young man is glad for it. Let this war encompass him. If it means Ace lives, so be it – war will come and go, but Sabo will never have another change like this again. Nothing is going to stop him.

“Who the hell are you?!” Ace asks as they run, surprisingly following Sabo. He looks shaken, as if coming so close to losing Luffy just now rattled him to the core. His voice is uncertain, eyes just as hopeful as Luffy’s now, and Sabo’s heart wrenches when he realises that somehow, deep down, they recognise him.

“…Sabo?”

Luffy’s voice is small in Sabo’s ear, torso shuddering against his back. All his fight is gone. Sabo doesn’t recall slinging him onto his back but he must’ve, maybe when the first starting running. Everything is one pulsing, thronging blur. Travelling ten years back in time must be messing up his head.

Ace’s breath hitches, and his head spins around so fast that his neck must ache. His eyes meet Sabo’s for the first time, and he stumbles for a second, caught off guard. For the first time since Sabo arrived here, he can see that ten-year old kid shining out of Ace’s eyes. Too young to take on the world and wearing his big dreams like medals of honor; questioning whether he should be alive; hurt, but still hoping for something bigger than himself.

“Sabo?!” Ace’s voice breaks. Behind them, two of Whitebeard’s commanders clash with Akainu in a supernova of light and sound.

Against his will, Sabo feels tears spring into his eyes, and a grin stretches across his face even as they fall. Ahead of them, the ocean is just visible, wide and true. “I’ve missed you both,” he chokes out, and they run together still. Ace seems to have stopped even breathing. Around them the battle rages on, and Sabo feels horribly exposed without his pipe.  “I missed you so much.”

Maybe this time, Sabo can stop the execution of the second pirate king before it happens, too. Maybe both Luffy and Ace will survive this time, if he just plays his cards right. Maybe Sabo and his brothers can stay together and stay alive. Maybe, just maybe, he really did change the timeline for good.

A tired cheer roars through the Whitebeard Pirates as they join the three brothers, unknowing of who Sabo is but uncaring. Ace and Luffy are still in shock, disbelieving and confused, but Sabo can see the eldest of the trio as his face begins to light up. It’s like watching the sun come out. Luffy’s arms tighten slightly around him, sluggish and weak but filled with affection, and for the first time in a long time, Sabo has no regrets. He has his brothers.

Maybe time-travel wasn’t such a bad idea.

Okay so I saw that you really loved the asl pic in the magazine so I just had to write this little thing (mostly just to get out of writer’s block lmao). I hope you like it! 

OH MY G OD

  • Sehun, stands on top of dining room table: Excuse me, I have an announcement to make. Can I have everyone's attention, please. Okay so...Chanyeol and I had sex.
  • Junmyeon: What the hell?
  • Chanyeol: Sehun, what are you doing?
  • Sehun, to Chanyeol: Kyungsoo was right. People will be shocked, and then they'll get over it and we can move on. At least this way, I get to control how it gets out. I'm about to Olivia pope this sitch.
  • Kyungsoo, whispering to Minseok in horror: Oh my god, he's really gonna do it. This is why I'm not nice.
  • Sehun: First off, I would like to remind you all about several notable men from my past. The rock-climbing backpacker, the underwear model, the guy who looked like Tywin Lannister. I bring these men to mind so you can appreciate this dalliance for what it was - An outlier. I will now take questions.
  • Baekhyun, raises hand: How was the sex?
  • Sehun: Gross.
  • Baehyun: The sex was gross, or I'm gross?
  • Sehun: You're gross. The sex was adequate.
  • Jongdae: How many times did you do it?
  • Sehun: Sixteen and a third. Don't ask, can't explain.
  • Chanyeol: I have a question. Do you have any regrets?
  • Sehun: No. It was pretty fun.
  • Chanyeol, internally: Hell, yeah.