oh god i should be sent to jail for making this

Two Nights Stand

Summary: (Modern Au) After a bad breakup, your roommate insists that you need to a one night stand to end your dry spell and take your ex out of your system. But what happens when you forced to spend time with your one night stand?

Paring: Bucky x Reader

Words: 1446

Warnings: This is vaguely inspired by a movie of the same name,. Readers thoughts are in italic;

A/n: Thanks to @drinkfantasy for being my beta. You rock.

Originally posted by mebeingbored1

We need to talk.” Your roommate says getting in your room and sitting on your bed “Can it wait a few minutes, Wanda? This episode is almost done.” She groans annoyed, turning off the TV. “No, it can’t, you watched two whole seasons this week. You need to get out more, have fun and get laid. Really, when was the last time you got out of the house?”

You straighten up your sweater, sitting up on the bed, “Yesterday, to go to work.” She rolls her eyes at you and you feel like a kid that talked back to her parents. “Sure, you go to work almost every day, but when was the last time you got out the house to have fun?”

You don’t answer her because you don’t remember. Your life lately has been going to work and going home. “See, you don’t even remember. Look, I know that since you and Nathan broke up things are hard, but you need to go back out there. Have fun, do something crazy.”

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Welcome to the Freak Show

Characters: Dean Winchester x Sister!Reader, Sam Winchester x Sister!Reader

Length: 1564+ words

TW: Abandonment 

A/N: This is for @winchesters-favorite-girl​‘s 31 Days of Halloween Challenge! Thank you for letting me join your challenge, and I hope you enjoy this one! I had more ideas for this fic, but I didn’t have time to write it 😔

A/N 2: I would like to thank @dreamin-of-somewhere-else​ for being my Beta!! Gosh, she’s so awesome! This fic couldn’t have been written without her (seriously). She was such a great help in making this fic decent! Thanks for putting up with me, love! I really appreciate all your help! 

Prompt: Freak Show

Feedback is appreciated (AND SO ARE YOU)!


Sam Winchester was dead.

The two remaining Winchesters stayed silent as they drove back to the motel, their brother laying down in the backseat. They packed their stuff, planning to go to Bobby’s place. Y/N went to the bathroom before making the long trip, but once she came out, Dean was holding her duffel bag out to her.

“Leave,” he instructed. His voice cold and emotionless, and unlike anything she’s ever heard. No matter what, Dean always spoke to her in a gentle tone, even when training her. He’s never even raised his voice at her unless he was worried about her well-being. This wasn’t the older brother she knew, and honestly, she was scared. Her heart was beating twice as fast, and her palms were getting sweaty.

Her eyes widened, mouth agape. “D-Dee?”

“You need to leave.” Dean harshly glared at his younger sister, jaw clenched tightly.

“B-But why?” she whimpered, taking a step towards her older brother.

“Because I said so!”

“This isn’t you, Dean-”

“This was your fault. You messed up. You didn’t do enough research, and got Sam killed. You’re not cut out to be a hunter, and I can’t have you staying with us, and endangering our lives.”

“But, Dean-” His words cut deep. He knew how self-conscious she was about her abilities. She willingly sat out on hunts if she had the slightest inkling that she may not be able to perform her best. After all, when it comes to hunting, mistakes could be deadly.

“Leave!” he roared. He grabbed her elbow, pushing her out the door, and throwing her duffel bag at her feet. He slammed the door as she scrambled to get back on her feet.

“DEAN!” Y/N pounded at the door, shouting for him to let her in, tears streaming down her face. Finally, Dean came out. He didn’t even spare her a glance as he walked to the Impala. He ignored her pleas, following him to the car. She tried grabbing his arm, but he shook her off, finally pushing her to the ground as he went into his car. Y/N watched as he turned on the engine, and drove off.

The eldest Winchester clenched his jaw so tightly it was starting to ache. He didn’t dare look at his rear-view mirror, afraid his resolution would waver at the sight of his youngest sibling. This is what he had to do. He tried ignoring the tear that escaped his eye as he drove to the closest cross-road.

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~masterlist~

Hello, everyone! This is my masterlist (as made obvious by the title) lol. I will update these at the end of every day that I upload new content. I’m going to update this tomorrow with things that I will write this coming week, just to motivate myself. Once I get back into the groove of things, the updates should happen a few times a week. This cute lil bolt symbolizes smut/mentions of it, so beware. Every day, the new additions will be bolded. So please check them out. Thank you for all the positive feedback guys! Much love xoxox.

The 100

their names in your phone

sorted into hogwarts houses

Bellamy Blake

Commander Lexa

John Muprhy

Octavia Blake

Monty Green

Jasper Jordan

Raven Reyes

Lincoln


The Originals

Niklaus Mikaelson

Kol Mikaelson

Rebekah Mikaelson


The Vampire Diaries

their names in your phone

ships on the show (i think they‘re called OTPs)

ig (race swap)

Bonnie Bennett

Elena Gilbert

Jeremy Gilbert

Kai Parker

Matt Donovan

Lorenzo St. John

Damon Salvatore

Stefan Salvatore


Teen Wolf

their names in your phone

Scott McCall

Malia Tate

Stiles Stilinski

Isaac Lahey

Derek Hale

Jackson Whittermore

Theo Raeken

Jordan Parrish

Lydia Martin


Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Grant Ward


Gossip Girl

Carter Baizen

Chuck Bass

Nathaniel Archibald


RIverdale

Archie Andrews

Veronica Lodge


Pretty Little Liars

Caleb Rivers


Criminal Minds

BAU Team

Derek Morgan

Emily Prentiss


Buffy the Vampire Slayer

their names in your phone

Spike 


MTV SCREAM

Brooke Maddox


James Buchanan Barnes

Forelsket

Forelsket- Danish; “The euphoria of falling in love”

Summary: Jungkook’s sure about his feelings for you, but he isn’t sure of yours. Taehyung suggests he use a love potion on the off chance you may confess, and it’s all downhill from there. [Harry Potter au]
Pairing: Jungkook x reader
Word Count: 2,564
A/N: inspired by a late night conversation with @minsvga and @jungkxook about Jungkook as a Ravenclaw, possessing bits and pieces of traits from all four houses yet still not being brave enough to confront his feelings. This was written on a whim, and truthfully, Katie’s will make mine make way more sense.

Originally posted by jeonkookiemonster

In the beginning of Jungkook’s fifth year at Hogwarts, he likes to think he understands everything about the school. He’s been sent into the Forbidden Forest, (no longer terrifying, but the name was kept after the Great War, and honestly, he’d only gone in on a dare,) he’s broken his arm in a few Quidditch matches, used the Marauders Map to sneak his way into Hogsmead the year he forgot his permission slip. But try as he may, there are still a few things Jungkook can’t figure out.

Take, for example, the way Jungkook catches you glancing at him in the library, eyes glazed as if you were lost in thought, only to look away before it became obvious to any bystander that you were staring. Innocent enough to anyone else’s view, but it’s happened too many times for Jungkook to write off. Or the way you claim to hate Quidditch, only to show up to any game Jungkook played in, cheering for his house and never your own. Or three weeks ago, when Jungkook had postponed an essay until the night it was due and you’d showed up at the door to his common room with four coffees, his favorite snack, and your favorite blanket.

Jungkook was pretty sure he knew how he felt, but he couldn’t be sure how you felt.

Keep reading

Supergirl Pokes the Luthor

Lena has to know.  She’s the CEO of L-Corp at 24, not to mention a genius in biochemistry and all things business.  Rao, the girl tried to cure cancer at 15!  Kara’s pretty sure that through Lena’s lead, L-Corp could dictate the direction of global scientific and technological advancement.  And she’s such a wonderful person, despite her tendency to consume the devil’s lettuce.  She’s gracefully turning Luthor Corp around from its past “murdering, world domination” direction to the profound global transformation promise of L-Corp.

Kara’s getting out of track here.  The point is Lena is smart and she’s going to find out eventually.  And the truth is, keeping the secret from Lena is just drowning Kara in guilt.  Kara has developed a streak of cancelled lunch and dinners with Lena.  Kara kept cancelling on the CEO of L-Corp like she’s the one with board meetings and press conferences and R&D projects.  Not that Lena has ever made her feel guilty about cancelling on her.  In fact, she’s been entirely too graceful about it.  Kara can’t help but remember that Lena has openly told her that she’s “her only friend in National City” and “most people wouldn’t touch a Luthor with a ten-foot pole”.  It’s just rude how people presume that Lena is a bad person based solely on her last name, only jerkfaces would do that.  Kara would gladly touch Lena all over, all day and all night, it’s an honor and a privilege to be her friend.


“Kara, would you stop pacing?  You’re wearing down the concrete floor.” Alex says, doing her signature hands-on-hips pose.  Alex is right, as always.  Plus, Supergirl nervously pacing in the DEO must be worrying a few agents.  “What’s causing your crinkle this time?”

Kara swats away her sister’s hand before she could boop the said crinkle.  She sighs, “I think I should tell Lena that I’m Supergirl.” She flinches for the expected lecture from her sister- who she adores and loves, Kara tries to remind herself - but nothing comes.

Instead, Alex is pursing her lips and nodding like she’s considering the idea.  “You should.” Alex says simply, and Kara can’t help her jaw from dropping and staring at her sister like she grew an extra head.

“What?!” Alex just stares at her like Kara coming out to Lena isn’t at all shocking.  

“Lena has helped you plenty of times as both Kara and Supergirl.  She obviously adores you, and she’s earned my trust a long time ago, thanks to you not shutting up about her.” Alex has obviously gone crazy.  She doesn’t talk about Lena that much.  “Honestly, I think you might be crushing on that poor little Luthor.”

Kara can feel herself blushing and Alex smirks like she just hit the sister-teasing jackpot.  “I don’t-” Kara starts gesticulating wildly but her cheeks feel hot and she can’t imagine how red she is right now.

“Oh Alex,” Alex clutches at her chest as a poor imitation of her, “how is it possible for Lena to be this pretty?”  Alex keeps going before Kara could deny her accusations, “Alex, her eyes are two different hues, do you think she has magical powers?”

“Alex, did you see how good Lena looked in her tactical gear when she helped me take down that rogue alien?”

“Alex, I looked into her eyes!”

“Alex, Lena smelled like cinnamon today and it made me think of Cinnabon.  I could just eat her.”

“Alex, stop!” Kara warns, but it just encourages her sister further and she starts walking around dramatically and posing like a gushing maiden.

“Oh, Alex! ‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy! Luthor is nor hand, nor foot!”  Kara starts chasing her sister at that and the two start running around in the DEO like children.

“Oh-“ Alex bumps into J’onn and the two sisters immediately try to look as nonchalant as they could.

“Agent Danvers.”, J’onn says to Alex.  Alex’s earlier enjoyment from teasing her is not visible anymore and Kara mentally applauds her sister’s poker face.

“Director J’onzz.” Alex replies easily.

J’onn turns to look at her now, “Supergirl.”

“J’onn.” She replies with a tiny squeal.

He goes back his way and Kara thanks Rao that J’onn didn’t hear about her dilemma.  Or her crush.  Kara glares at her sister but Alex gestures that J’onn is still within ear-shot.

J’onn turns around before finally exiting the area and shouts “You should tell her!”  Alex starts cackling at that and Kara starts blushing all over again.

“I’ll go get you a copy of the non-disclosure agreement.” Alex says before she starts jogging towards HR, not even holding back her laughter.

x x x x x

It has been 2 weeks since Kara got the approval to reveal her secret to Lena.  The NDA is all wrinkled now, taking shelter in her purse, then her desk at CatCo., then tucked in her boots when she’s in her suit.  It’s not that she’s nervous to tell Lena about her alter ego.  It’s just that it has to be the perfect.  This is a pretty big deal, it’s not as simple as her telling Lena that she actually hates the healthy food that Lena loves so much and she just pretends to like them so she could spend time with the CEO.  Plus, whenever Kara tells Lena that she has to talk to her, Lena’s face falls like she thinks Kara is about to end their friendship.

Plus, Lena’s eyes are very distracting.

And pretty.

Kara has been out of her mind trying to think of ways to tell Lena.  How do you tell your friend that you have a crush on her that your families are mortal rivals and, oh, her cousin put her brother in jail.  And because of how distracted she is, Supergirl finds herself next to a knocked-down street lamp.  She had crashed into it when the alien she’s fighting took advantage of her preoccupied mind and landed a blow on her.  Supergirl does not like destruction of public property.  She gets up again and decks the alien so hard, it loses its consciousness in a snap.

“That’s it,” Kara says to herself, “I’m telling her now.”

The DEO agents start rolling in to collect the alien and put them in lock-up.  Kara once again examines the damage of the battle and she’s thankful that it’s just the street lamp.  It’s so pretty and it holds together the aesthetic of the block.  And it must have been expensive - it’s like ten feet!

That’s when she gets her brilliant idea.

She picks up the pole and shouts “I’ll take care of this” to the agents watching her.  Kara is actually late for lunch with Lena so she knows exactly where the CEO would be waiting.  Without much thought, Kara starts flying in the direction of the CEO, the pole on her right hand held like a spear.  She spots Lena looking elegant outside the restaurant they were supposed to get lunch and lands about a block away so as to not startle the Luthor.

Kara is so excited to finally tell Lena that she’s Supergirl, she forgets to hold the pole in a non-threatening way as she starts to jog to her.

That’s when Lena spots her.  Supergirl, full smile on her face like she’s about to do something freeing, running towards her with a spear on hand.  Oh my god, Lena thinks, this Luthor is about to get kebabbed by a Super.  So she starts running.  Lena doesn’t like running but that’s something she’s willing to let go of during this unexpected predicament.

“Lena, stop running!” Kara shouts as she trails behind the young Luthor.

“I’m not about to make this easy on you!” Lena shouts back.

Kara thinks Lena definitely knows that she’s Supergirl and is trying her best to live in denial.  “This is something I have to do.  Alex and J’onn even approved it!”

Lena freaks out further at the thought of Kara’s sister actually agreed to this.  Most of the assassins that are sent to get her prefer to do things a little more discreet.  “You, know most people don’t come at me like this.” she quips without looking back.

“You know I’m not like most people.” Lena thinks of the one person who is decidedly not like most people.  “Lena, I’m Supergirl, but carrying around a ten-foot pole gets tiring.  And I’m hungry, plus you know my lunch break isn’t that long.”

“You’re not the only one getting tired, Supergirl” Lena says in harsh breaths, she definitely doesn’t like running.

“What, the devil’s lettuce not keeping you fit?” Lena freezes.  The devil’s lettuce?  There’s only one person Lena knows who calls it that.  Lena turns around, realization dawning on her.  Not like most people. Ten-foot pole. Short lunch break… HUNGRY?

Supergirl finally catches up to her, “Boop.” She smiles when the end of the pole gently pokes Lena’s arm.

“Huh,” Lena gasps, “Kara?!?”

goodnight little love

———-cs + morning sickness in the middle of the night

my cs baby feels are in an all time high after finally finishing watching 702 tonight, so here ya go Tumblr, this has been half written for m o n t h s, so idk, happy cs baby feels y’all! these babes are canonically starting a family and I’m just feeling all the feels! Ciao <33

— ღ   —

It’s definitely not as bad as it was with Henry, not at all. Emma knows she should consider herself lucky, only being sick once a day at most, but still… by week 14, Emma’s already done with some of it. She’s tired of being tired all the freaking time. She’s bloated more often than not, and the nausea; the nausea is by far the worst.

Aside for her one, 3am long-standing appointment with the porcelain bowl every night, Emma’s been mostly ‘blessed’ with just nausea day-round and not vomit. Which she figures makes her lucky; it could be worse, she knows how much worse it could be, puking at the drop of hat —she lived it before, so she knows, but despite the lack of retching, her stomach does churn 24/7 and she’s sick of it.

She’s already missed more days at work in the last month than she has in her whole time in Storybrooke all together. She just doesn’t feel right. She’s dizzy and queasy so often, that she finds at least sleeping she’s unaware of the sickness. And it’s not as if she’s not tired enough to justify all the naps –she is.

Killian is great about the whole thing; he’s awesome at allowing her to moan and complain as much as she wants without making her feel whiny or worse, weak. He’s great. Her parents are being completely amazing as well, as is her son and pretty much everyone who knows —which aren’t that many yet, but she figures in time she won’t even have to announce it, they’ll just be able to tell.

Which worries her too, because showing does mean everybody knowing about the baby, and that’s scary. It’s also exciting though. Showing after all does mean the baby is growing, and she wants that. She wants this tiny human of hers to grown healthy so that she and Killian can meet it soon.

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Imagine...Meeting Cas For the First Time And Shamelessly Flirting With Him

This is for @impalaimagining Cheesy PickUp Line Challenge. I chose the prompts,Are those space pants? Because that ass is out of this world’, along withYour legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle’. 

Characters: Y/n, Cas, Dean, Sam

Pairing: Cas x Y/n (GENDER NEUTRAL READER)

Warnings: Mostly fluff, bit of violence and murdering of a witch, more fluff, crack, flirting, weird pick up lines, then sorta hinted at smut at the end.

Word count: 1951

Summary: When the Winchesters call for help, you’re the one who answers. But this time, they have a hot angel along for the ride, that just might make everything better. 

A/N: Ok, so, I don’t know what this is. It’s random as fuck, but I think it’s cute. It’s also the first proper thing I’ve written in a few weeks. So don’t judge too harshly. Hope u like it!!

Tagged peeps: @waywardsons-imagines @whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname @sallyp-53 @agentvixen @helvonasche @notnaturalanahi @wayward-mirage @riversong-sam @nerdflash @miss-miep @impala-dreamer @unknown-chronicles @chelsea072498 @deals-with-demons @plaidstiel-wormstache @impalaimagining @deathtonormalcy56 @the-latina-trickster @aingealcethlenn @squirrels-angels-and-moose @meganwinchester1999 @cubs2019-blog @lucifer-in-leather @p–trick @straightestgay-voice @professsionalsinner @deantheotherkingofkinks @50shadesofyes @lucis-unicorn @whispersandwhiskerburn @lucibae-is-dancing-in-hell @colespriverdale @daddysxlittlexsunshine @atc74 @wonderange @mogaruke @aiaranradnay @totalwhovian @bloodstained-porcelain-doll @yourenotreadyforus @perry–aesthetic @akshi8278 @srj1990

Masterlist


“Y’ello?”

You dragged the head to the pile of bodies in the middle of the room, the phone held up to your ear using your shoulder.

“Hey, y/n. We-uh-we kinda need your help”.

You rolled your eyes, knowing they’d only call you when they needed something.

Why would they just call to catch up?

“What is it this time?” you sighed, pouring the gasoline, before creating a trail that led outside.

“Well, we kinda need you to bail us out”.

“Bail you out? You morons got yourself arrested?”

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Issues

The song is  Issues by Julia Michaels

———-

I’m jealous, I’m overzealous
When I’m down, I get real down
When I’m high, I don’t come down
I get angry, baby, believe me
I could love you just like that
And I could leave you just this fast

“Why didn’t you tell me!?!” You shout, throwing down Jason’s domino mask

“I couldn’t trust you! I was going to tell you soon, I promise!”

You snarl, “So you didn’t trust me!? You made me fall in love with you, only to dump this on me?!” Letting out a sob you sink into the couch, “What if you die out there, Jay? What am I gonna do then?”

“I’ll just have to make extra sure that I don’t die then, won’t I?”

But you don’t judge me
‘Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too
No, you don’t judge me
'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too

“Don’t judge me, asshole, just help me down”

Jason chuckles and reaches up, “How did this happen?”

You huff, letting him take some of the dishes that had tried to cascade down on you, “I just wanted some Tupperware, and when I tried to grab it, everything fell on me!! It’s like your apartment is boobytrapped!”

“It’s not boobytrapped, you were just too lazy to move everything on top” Jason grabbed your waist, and gently lifted you off of the counter.

“I said that you couldn’t judge me, if you start judging me about this, I’m going to start judging you for getting stuck in the dryer”

Jason huffed, “You said you wouldn’t bring that up!”

“Well, when you get stuck trying to hide in the dryer, just because Dick can, I don’t really think you have any room to judge my Tupperware avalanche, do you?”

“No” Jason grumbled.

'Cause I got issues
But you got 'em too
So give 'em all to me
And I’ll give mine to you
Bask in the glory
Of all our problems
'Cause we got the kind of love
It takes to solve 'em

“I died, Y/N, I died and he did nothing, he let my killer get away. I just can’t face him, I don’t think I can, not yet” Jason whispered. He tucked you tightly into his side and pulled the blankets over your heads, “Is it so bad to never want to get out of bed?”

You sigh, gently running your fingers through his hair, “He still loves you, they all do, Jaybird. You might not be ready to forgive him, but just know that he loves you”

“I know, I know he does, it’s just … every time I see him that old anger comes up, I don’t know how to get over that”

“Have you tried talking about it?”

He snorted, “I’m talking about it with you”

You press a kiss to the side of his chest, “But I’m not the one who you’re angry at”

“You’re right”

“And even though you’re mad at Bruce, you can’t take it out on your brothers, that includes Tim. He looks up to you, you know”

“He does?”

“Yeah, he does. Maybe you should have a guy’s night. Mom asked me to come visit this weekend, so it would be the perfect time”

Jason hummed, “Maybe that’s a god idea”

You smile and snuggle closer to your boyfriend. Sometimes he just needed a little push in the right direction.

Yeah, I got issues
And one of them is how bad I need you

You do shit on purpose
You get mad and you break things
Feel bad, try to fix things
But you’re perfect
Poorly wired circuit
And got hands like an ocean
Push you out, pull you back in

“WHY CAN’T YOU JUST LEAVE IT ALONE?!?!” Jason shouts, throwing his mug of coffee against the wall.

“YOU KILLED AGAIN!!! YOU PROMISED YOU WOULND’T!!!!!!” You yell

“He was raping and selling women!! I couldn’t let his continue to do that!”

“You could have sent him to jail! You didn’t have to shoot him!”

Jason rakes his fingers through his hair, “What if it had been you!?! What if he had touched you!?”

“What?” you whisper

“A few days ago I was watching you walk home from work, and I saw him. He was watching you, stalking you. What if he had attacked, would you still hate me for killing him?”

“Oh baby” Jason steps forward and pulls you into his arms, tucking your face into his neck.

“I can’t lose you, Y/N, I can’t let you get hurt, and if you hate me for protecting you, then you’ll just have to keep hating me”

“I could never hate you, Jaybird. I love you”

“I love you too”

'Cause you don’t judge me
'Cause if you did, baby, I would judge you too
No, you don’t judge me
'Cause you see it from same point of view

“Why did we come here?” you whisper, watching in horror as Bruce flounces around in his Brucie persona.

“You agreed” Jason hissed, “I told you that we shouldn’t go, but you wanted to play dress up”

“This was a terrible idea”

Jason chuckled and pressed a kiss to your forehead, “Why don’t you wait here, and I’ll get us some drinks?”

“I’m gonna need a drink if I have to watch Bruce any longer”

Almost as soon as Jason walks away, you’re approached by some drunk idiot, “’bout time you sent him away, baby”

“Excuse me? You need to back off”

“Chill out, baby. I just want to have some fun” He leaned forward, boxing you into the wall

Suddenly a large hand gripped the back of his jacket, “You might want to back off, buddy, before something really bad happens”

The guy glances over his shoulder at Jason and smirks, “No need to get mad, dude. I don’t mind sharing”

Jason snarled and threw the guy off of you, “Get the fuck off my girlfriend, pig” when Jason pulls you into a hug you smirk at the guy on the floor, “Let’s let out of here, baby”

“Yeah, let’s go.”

'Cause I got issues
But you got 'em too
So give 'em all to me
And I’ll give mine to you
Bask in the glory
Of all our problems
'Cause we got the kind of love
It takes to solve 'em

“You know, we’re pretty fucked up”

Jason chuckles, “I’d have to agree with you, baby”

Yeah, I got issues
And one of them is how bad I need you

And one of them is how bad I need you
(I got issues, you got 'em too)

“If you leave me, I’ll kill you”

“I’d never leave you, baby”

You sniffle, “Even though I’m sick? You still love me?”

He leans forward and kisses your cheek, “Yes I still love you, even though you’re sick, now take youre medicine”

Whining you try to squirm out of Jason’s grasp, “I don’t wanna take it, it tastes gross”

“I know it tastes gross, but you have to take it to get better”

After taking your medicine and drinking a glass of orange juice you curl back up on the couch, “You know, it’s scary how much I need you”

“I know exactly what you mean”

'Cause I got issues
(I got)
But you got 'em too
So give 'em all to me
(You got 'em too)
And I’ll give mine to you
Bask in the glory
(I got issues)
Of all our problems
'Cause we got the kind of love
(You got 'em too)
It takes to solve 'em

“What if it’s positive? What are we gonna do, Jay?”

“We’ll have to tell my brothers that they’ll be uncles”

You snort, “God, could you imagine how that conversation would go?!”

“Yeah, they would probably beat the shit out of me, and then go out and buy baby stuff with you”

Reaching out for Jason’s hand you give it a squeeze, “Are you alright with this?”

“Honestly? I’m kinda excited”

“Really?!” You yelp, not expecting that answer

“I mean, I’ve always wanted kids, especially with you, so yeah, I’m excited”

This timer goes off in the next room, “Well, let’s see if we have anything to be excited about”

Yeah, I got issues (I got)
And one of them is how bad I need you (You got 'em too)
Yeah, I got issues (I got issues)
And one of them is how bad I need you (You got 'em too)
Yeah, I got issues (I got)
And one of them is how bad I need you

B99 Hiatus Writing Challenge

In the immortal words of Captain Raymond Jacob Holt, “EVERYTHING IS GARBAGE.” – The finale left our favorite squad in pain, we have to wait months for new content, and Dianetti still isn’t canon.

Even Terry knows what we need most in these trying times: fanfiction

Under the cut is a list of 30 prompts/summaries put together with a ton of help from @stardustsantiago, @peraltiagoisland@scullysthumbtacks, @three-drink-amy​, and @dogworldchampion. Feel free to run away with any (or many) of these plot bunnies!! Let’s make this hiatus as gr99 as possible. ★

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Chapter Two

Summary: Sam Winchester, the sheriff of the isolated Maine hamlet Little Tall Island, is facing the toughest challenge of his career. Not only is a devastating winter storm bearing down on his community, but also brings a series of sinister events. With the help of his brother, Sam struggles to hold the community together, as well as his budding relationship with the reader.

Chapter One

Pairings: Sam x Female Reader

Warnings: Language, violence, murder, explicit sexual content, bullying, character death. Please note that warnings apply to the entire story, not individual chapters.

A/N: I’ve admittedly borrowed Little Tall Island and a few plot points from Stephen King.

Words: 4400+

Beta’d By: @a-screaming-ghost

Your name: submit What is this?


Early Morning - October 8th

Deputy Sully Rasmussen makes the drive from Bingham’s Point to town in record time.  He’s not normally a man that does much of anything at a frenzied pace, instead eternally opting for slow and steady.

But tonight will turn out to be anything but run of the mill. He’s not sure of the last time he lit up the blue and reds or heard the scream of the siren wailing in his ears, but as he accelerates over ten, twenty, thirty miles over the speed limit he makes the judgement call; better to announce his presence and play it safe.

As soon as his cell phone rang, he knew that something was seriously wrong. Cellular service on the island is spotty on the best day, the radios are the only reliable form of communication. Everyone on the island has a short wave, so when Bea makes a phone call it means the sheriff wants radio silence.

This means shit has hit the fan.

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MC has a Stalker (RFA +trio)

MC has a stalker (and obsessed one who is willing to hurt her), 
How will they react?

YOOSUNG

  • The moment you called him crying about the stalker, he grabbed his coat and immediately ran to your house.
  • The moment he reached your apartment, he saw a man slamming their fists at your door.
  • Yoosung could feel his body heat up with anger.
  • He slammed his feet as he ran towards the guy
  • Letting his body took over, he punched the guy in his face
  •  The guy, taken aback, fell to the ground
  • Yoosung grabbed the guy’s collar, his violet eyes glinting in rage
  • “Come near her ever again, I swear to god, I will kill you" Yoosung hissed
  • “I love her!!” the guy yelled
  • The guy screamed as he punched Yoosung in his face
  • Next thing you know, the two fought on the ground
  • Yoosung straddle the guy as he slammed his fist into the guy’s stomach and face
  •  "I love her too and I’m not letting you have her"
  • Yoosung slammed the guy on the floor making him passed out
  • Shuffling on his feet, Yoosung knocked on your door softly
  • “MC? it’s me, Yoosung” he spoke softly
  • “Yoo…sung?”
  • The door clicked and you immediately throw your arms around him
  • Yoosung winced at the force especially with his new wounds
  • “Yoosung why are you bleeding?”
  •  You touched his face and he simply smiled
  • “OH MY GOD YOOSUNG THE GUY!”
  • you jumped at the passed out boy on the floor
  • Yoosung rubbed your back gently as he glowered at guy
  • “Come on MC, let’s go to the police and stay with me tonight okay?”


ZEN

  • He was worried when he found out that you had a stalker
  • You assured him that you had put a restraining order so he won’t have to worried
  • But he was
  • Especially when he dreamt how the stalker came to your workplace after your shift ends and tried dragging you away into his car
  • Zen woke up in cold sweat from his sleep
  • It was 10PM (he had a long day and fell asleep the moment he got home that evening)
  • Immediately, he dialed your number and you picked up within 3 rings
  • “MC, where are you?” he huffed
  • “I just ended my shift, I’m packing up now, why?”
  • “Stay there, I’m on my way. Don’t go out from the building until I arrive!”
  • “Zen-”
  • Zen hanged up and ran out of his house
  • Taking his bike, he went as fast as he could, thankful that there wasn’t any traffic this late night
  • The moment he saw you, he was relieved how you were okay, walking out from the building when you spotted him from the window
  • However, a guy came running behind her and put her on a choke hold, dragging her away
  •  "URGH ZEN!“ you screamed
  • Zen’s blood boiled at the sight
  • The guy was opening the door and tried to push HIS MC in
  • He threw his bike in front of the car, jumping off before slamming his fist right on his face
  • A loud crack was heard and Zen took the moment to drag you behind him
  • He slammed the guy against the car, cracking the window before throwing the guy aside
  • Zen truly felt like his high school days as his adrealine pumped into his blood
  • Zen slammed his heel on the guy’s back when he tried to flee
  • Zen took out his belt and tied the guy’s hands behind his back
  • He grabbed a fistful of the guy’s hair before throwing him into the car
  • Slamming the car door, Zen huffed as he brushed his bangs back
  • "Zen”
  • You came behind him wrapped your arms around his waist
  • “Thank you… i don’t know how you knew but"
  • You trembled as you sobbed into his back
  • Zen turned around and wrapped his arms around you
  • “A knight should always protect their princess right?”
  • He kissed your forehead before taking out his phone
  •  "Let’s call the police and put this shit in jail"

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Anonymous | pt. v

Originally posted by blondejongin

[ back to masterlist ]

Scenario: Tumblr AU
Pairing: Chanyeol/Reader
Word Count: 2226
Rating: T

Summary: Can you fall in love with someone you’ve never met?
You just shot to tumblr fame when the latest chapter of your webtoon went viral. Messages start flooding in – hundreds of people saying things good and bad alike. One anon catches your eye, and you find you just have to reply to them…

<< previous part x next part >>

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Protective/Supportive Aaron

For @bartsugsy and @sapphicsugden as requested (Includes some paraphrasing.)

•6th February 2015 Remember that one minor incident when Aaron sent Robert away to get married and rid Wylie’s of any evidence that they were ever there and continued to keep that secret even after he found out Robert pushed Katie. Which is the only reason Robert’s gorgeous ass hasn’t been rotting away in a prison cell for the last two years. But no big deal. Just Aaron saving Robert on a daily basis.
•9th February 2015 Aaron’s new mantra where Robert and Katie’s death are concerned “It’s not his fault!” 
•10th February 2015 The slap heard round the world when mama bear Chas turns feral on her cub because Aaron dares to blame Katie for sticking her nose where it doesn’t belong. Obviously it was Katie’s fault Robert burnt down her caravan.
•11th February 2015 Go ahead and tell Chrissie I’ve been boning her husband mum and WE ARE DONE!!! 
•9th April 2015 BTW Paddy. I totally text Katie and told her to meet me at Wylie’s that day. It was all totes my fault and you shouldn’t blame Robert for anything! EVER!!!
•12th May 2015 God Robert why are you such a human disastercase getting drunk off a single pint (👀👀👀) of whiskey? Let me help you back to the pub, get you a glass of water and kindly let you sneak in a little snog.
•13th May 2015 *Clears throat* Excuse me Chrissie, I might have been one of the people who broke into your house so I know for a fact Robert’s super sorry about it. Now can you please take your sad sack of a husband back? (Even if I still kind of sort of love him and want him to be mine.)
•25th June 2015 Cain my man! I know Robert might look really good with a bruised face but you still can’t beat the hell out of him like this. Here babes. Let me help you home and pretend it has nothing to do with my ongoing struggle over how much I still love you. K…K…cool.
•21st July 2015 Geez “Dad”! My boyfriend’s a total idiot who likes to run his mouth off but stop making up lies and saying he tried to bury you in a grain pit. While you’re at it stay away from me!  
•25th September 2015 (Also 22nd October 2015) Listen dude, I really hate you but I’m still going to cry over your bleeding body while I try to stop the life from leaving you and decide if I really want you to live or die.
•18th March 2016 *Chokes on beer* LIV! It’s super inappropriate to ask someone what it’s like getting shot and we defs don’t ask to see the scar. (Side eye…especially since I still haven’t seen it yet.)
•5th April 2016 So the thing is Robert, my little sister is a bit confused right now and she recorded you saying you bribed Ryan. Now we both know that was a really ridic move on your part but you’ve been super amazing and taken care of me a lot and I really don’t want anything to happen to you for protecting me so I’ll try to do the same for you.
•10th May 2016 Hey now missy! I will tolerate a lot but I draw the line at comparing my boyfriends godlike face to that of a rodent. Show some respect. You know I missed out on some…..tea time…with him yesterday because of you.
• 6th June 2016 Okay I’ve been in jail enough times to know the rules so you need to let my guy go before I really start to lose it. And you Olivia Flaherty take a good look at everything Robert has done recently because guess what. THAT’S LOVE! ALL OF IT WAS BECAUSE HE LOVES ME!
•14 July 2016 *Staring at Robert dreamily* What’s that officer? I was busy mooning over him calling me his boyfriend. Oh yeah. He DEFINITELY bought me a super sweet expensive watch back in February.
•16 August 2016 Babe that purse doesn’t really go with your outfit AND NEITHER WILL HANDCUFFS IF YOU GET SENT DOWN FOR HELPING YOUR BROTHER. Please don’t risk your life and our future for that. I can’t lose you.
•17 August 2016 Fiiiiiiiiine……..I’ll help you take down Lachlan and the Whites (even though I dont really think it’s a good idea) but we have to be super careful or someone (namely us) could get hurt.
•31 August 2016 Lachlan: I’m gonna kill you. Aaron: Human shield activate. Robert: That was hot as hell! He is so getting laid tonight.
•17 October 2016 Hey there Lachlan! Let me show you what happens when vile little cretins such as yourself threaten my love and my life. First, you get your head shoved in this conveniently placed barrel of water. Then thrown in the boot of my car.
•20 October 2016 ROBERT PLEASE GET OUT OF THIS FUCKING CAR! I’M SCARED OF DYING BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I NEED YOU TO LIVE!
•08 November 2016 Diane, Robert was just trying to help Andy and do what he thought was best for your family. *mumbles under breath* Not that any of you would ever notice or appreciate the way he bends over backwards for you anyways.
• 11th November 2016 Here love. Let me rub your back and console you while you mourn your mother. Sorry your siblings couldn’t make it.
•1st December 2016 THE HE’S MINE BACK OFF LADY DEATH STARE!!! If looks could kill Rebecca would be long gone and this storyline would never have happened. (I’m counting it! Fight me!)
•5th January 2017 I’m sorry Chrissie, remind me again how it’s Robert’s fault Lachlan shot your dad? Pretty sure he picked that gun up all on his own. So stop ruining my birthday! 
•20th January 2017 Robert you really are a total flaming idiot if you don’t take this opportunity to run a mile because I’m not good for you. 
•21st February 2017 Robert Jacob Sugden you are amazing! You did everything in your power to give me the wedding of my dreams and more importantly than that you chose the pub where I was dared you to stand up and proudly announce to everyone who and what you are. 
•21st February 2017 Whoa there Diane how about we get you a drink and avoid talking about Jack. (Because he totally didn’t deserve someone as incredible as Robert. He should have loved him unconditionally and if he was here today I’d probably knock him on his ass for messing with this beautiful man’s head.) Although, babe you really should think about talking to Vic and Diane about it. It might help you to move on.
•6th April 2017 OMG babe! I’m so sorry I accidentally punched you’re perfect beautiful face. (This time I really didn’t mean it.) Here let me caress it softly and make it all better. There there now.
•12th April 2017 Listen Robert we both know you didn’t get that tummy by running on the regular. Save yourself and go home before you keel over and die. I’ll be fine. (Okay so it’s a stretch but I feel a tummy mention is just expected of me at this point.)

Imagine finding out why Barba never smiles around you

Imagine finding out why Barba never smiles around you

“Shh” you ordered putting your finger up to mute the suspect on the opposite side of the table.

Your eyes remained fixated on your phone screen. This was tough level. You kept on getting caught by the flying ninja stars. The ringtone that indicated that you had failed rang out and sighed audibly.

“Why aren’t you asking me questions?” the suspect probed.

“Don’t want to.” you retorted restarting the level after losing for the umpteenth time.

“But shouldn’t you?” he questioned.

“Not really.” you sighed still not looking up, “It’s not like I’m a cop or anything.”

“Than who are you?” he asked.

“I’m more of a consultant, really.” you lied doing a quick swipe of your screen in hopes of winning.

“Then where’s the detective?” he questioned once again.

“Probably dealing with another case. Detectives usually have more than one open at any one time. To be honest I have a feeling they usually work more on the case they find the most interesting and leave the boring ones till later.” you suggested.

“So am a suspect in a boring case?” he asked mostly to himself.

“Must be.” you stated yawning.

“I thought I was a suspect on triple homicide? Isn’t that interesting enough? It was on the front page yesterday.” he questioned starting to get annoyed and slightly shaky.

“Yeah yesterday. They’ve moved on. And anyway strangulation? Please, it’s just so typical. You see it everyday round here.” you said offhandedly.

“But it takes so much time. You must be really sick to squeeze the life out of someone and watch.” he explained as if he was reliving it.

“I see where you’re coming from.” you began casually, “But say if the Satanic Cult round the corner had a mass suicide. It kind of gets undermined. You know?”

“I guess so.” he muttered angry.

“But…” you interrupted suddenly.

“But what?” he asked suddenly eager.

“But,” you started switching off your phone and leaning over the table, “ If you were say you were willing to confess because I overheard one of the detectives say they’ve got you dead to rights. You have to get ahead of the story.”

“How’d I do that?” he asked practically jumping out of his seat in excitement.

“You gotta confess but make sure before you do you ask one of the detectives’ ‘leak’ to the press. So you may be in jail but everyone will want a piece of you. And wait till arraignment. Their will be so many reporters and photographers they’ll have security. Yeah, you might be in prison but you’ll get a lesser sentence. And imagine all the television producers who’ll want you to tell your story on TV. The whole country… no the whole world will know who you are. You’ll be famous.” you explained leading him on.
“You think so?” he questioned excitedly.

“I know so. Think of BTK. Do you really think he ‘accidentally’ sent that package that lead the police    to him? No. He was tired of no one knowing he was. No one acknowledging his work. Now look. Everyone knows who is. Don’t you want everyone to know who you are?” you explained further eyeing him up.

“Yeah.” he breathed.

“Well then I would confess. Give the cops very single detail. Everyone will know your name. But…” you sighed strategically.

“But what?” he asked suddenly worried.

“It’s just a suggestion. You know. It’s for the greats and anyway you say you didn’t do it. So what can you do?” you commented shrugging your shoulders.

“I want to confess.” he whispered.

“What?” you prompted.

“I want to confess. To everything.” he stated excited.

“I’ll go see if I can track down detective Rollins.” you said triumphantly walking out the door.

You walked out the door, shutting it behind you. You saw Barba standing by the glass, he’d clearly been watching.

“That was impressive considering you spent half the time on your phone.” he commented as you sidled up to him.

“What can I say? I’m a psychiatric genius.” you winked.

“How did you know that would work?” he asked crossing his arms clearly curious.

“The guy’s a grade A narcissist. Deprive him of attention for awhile he’ll be desperate to get some. He’ll do anything. It also helps when they’ve got an IQ below 70.” you explained.

‘Nice work.” he congratulated quickly.

‘Ah come on Barbs. I just sealed the deal on a slam dunk case and all you give me is a ‘nice work’?” you questioned jokingly annoyed.

“What would you like me to do?” he asked humouring you.

“I don’t know. Say how lucky you are to be graced with access to my intelligence. Thank god for knowing me. Something.” you badgered.

He flashed you a confused look.

“A smile would suffice.” you mentioned.

He flashed you a crooked forced half smile.

“My god, stop. I can hear the children crying from here. Honestly Barbara. I dragged myself all the way down here from the FBI building to help you close this to be honest boring case and you can’t even give me a smile.” you complained half heartedly.

“You found this case boring?” he asked raising an eyebrow.

“Well in comparison to the other cases I had today.” you explained.

“What were they?” questioned.

“Let’s just say a major case of ‘I see dead people’.” You explained with accompanying over- exaggerating hand gestures.

He gave you a small chuckle before saying he had to go back to his office. You watched him leave. he passed by Sonny who was walking up to you.

“Where’s he going?” Sonny asked when he reached you.

“Back to his miserable little cave in hell, probably.” you joked.

“Really. He looked happy to me.” he commented.

“Huh?” you questioned.

“He had a massive smile on his face.” Sonny explained.

“A smile? I didn’t this his facial muscles could move that way.” you shuddered.

“Oh yeah. He’s always smiling after he talks to you.” he mentioned.

“Really?” you asked skeptical.

“Yeah. You can identify Barba’s just had a conversation with Dr Y/N Y/L/N smile. From a mile away.” Sonny said.

“You sure Clariece?” you asked once agin still skeptical.

“Oh yeah. I think he has a crush on you.” he smirked.

“A crush?”

“Oh yeah. He definitely likes you. You’re the only person who makes him smile.” Sonny informed you.

“Since when?” you questioned shocked by the information.

“Since you guys met. Before you came around he was hardass. He soften up since you got here. Not by much but you can definitely tell when you are around.” he explained further.

You quickly thought back to when you met Barba. He’d accompanied Liv to meet you at one of your speeches. They were dealing with particularly perplexing case a few months back. They couldn’t decide if the guy they had was actually crazy or just faking it. Liv had called Dr Huang and he’d recommend you. You were essentially his predecessor at the New York office of the FBI. You were a well-known psychiatrist before you joined the FBI. They poached you after you published a series of well regarded papers of your theory of Individualism.

You had assumed that he would have warmed them before coming to meet you that you were slightly unconventional, off beat you could say. You weren’t like most shrinks. You were’t calm and direct. You were eccentric. You adapted to whoever the person you were talking to needed in order for them to communicate. It’s hard to explain really. Most people who encountered you usually called you childish despite your clear intelligence and effectiveness.

You don’t really know why you were like this. Well you do really. You didn’t get much childhood when you should have. You had to mature quickly which you believe started your fascination with psychiatry. You were fascinated by the human brain and how that determined how you acted.

You went into behavioural psychiatry. You wanted to know why people did things. To see a person individual reasoning behind their own actions.

You were already began working with the FBI when you first met. You had just finished giving your speech at Columbia university about your theory when they introduced themselves. You were excited at the prospect when they asked you. You assume you had impressed as well as scared them on your first case with as they kept calling you back. Soon you’d have a situation similar to Dr Huang’s when he was here.

The more you worked with SVU you think they realised how unconventional in their words ironically ‘crazy’ you were.

“Give me an example?” you demanded.

“Well you know that time you convinced that girl after her friend died to tell you what she know by playing the guitar and signing. He had to step out the room because he couldn’t contain his laughter.” he chuckled.

“Really?” you prompted.

“Oh yeah. You know that time you came in dressed as Princess Belle to talk to that six year old witness. And then after you were signing…what was it?” he continued.

“Barbra and Clariece.” you singsonged.

“Yeah I swear I saw him giggle. And that time you found that satanic leader by screaming ‘Jesus loves you’ around Grand Central Station and the had a full blown argument with the guy about Lucifer versus Jesus. He was laughing down the wire you just couldn’t hear.” Sonny chuckled.

“I never knew.” you breathed.

“He did his best to hide it.” Sonny shrugged.

“Why would he do that?” you questioned curious.

“I guess, he assumed if he asked you out that you wouldn’t go for it.” he suggested.

“Why?” you prompted.

“Well you might have noticed but you two are complete opposites. He’s this supper serious super sarcastic lawyer and you’re this funny eccentric doctor. On paper you guys don’t work but in practise you guys balance each other out. He calms you down and you help him let loose.” he explained.

“That actually made sense Dr Carisi.” you nodded knowing what you had to do.

“I learned from the best. What are you going to do?” he asked.

“I’m going go see him and demand he ask me out.” you stated adamantly.

“Fantastic.” Sonny commented.

“Why?”

“Me and Fin got a bet going about when you and Barba get together. If you go out now. I win.” he explained.

“Is this why you’re telling me this?” you suspected.

“Maybe. Just go.” he ushered.

You chuckled as you left the station and headed to Barba’s office. It was late by the time you got their but you knew he’d still be their working. His assistant had left so you just wandered in and hovered in the doorway. He had a pen in his mouth, his head down as he flicked through a file.

You’d always liked Barba. He was one of those sarcastic and brooding types which you didn’t usually go for. You usually went for people more like you which usually got you in trouble. You’d never thought Barba would like someone like you. You assumed he’d like those sophisticated well established types that were serious like him. You watched him work and smile.

“Hey Barbra.” you greeted leaning against the doorway with a smile.

“Dr Y/L/N. What are you doing here?” he asked looking up surprised to see you.

“It’s nice to see you too and call me Y/N or Y/N/N or you could even give a pet name like I have for you Barbra.” you chuckled walking in and taking a seat in front of him.

“I’m good with Y/N. Why are you here, Y/N?” he asked once again.

“Because, I heard something today and i wanted to know if it was true or not.” you explained in basic term.

“Alright..” he said confused.

‘Do you smile Rafael?” you asked bluntly.

“Of course I smile, Y/N. Everyone does.” he answered.

“Do you ever smile because of me?” you asked sincerely.

“All the time.” he admitted looking up and staring at you.

“So you smile because of me but you don’t ever smile around me.” you deducted sadly.

“It’s not like that Y/N.” he sighed.

“Do you like me?” you asked bluntly once again.

“Of course. I do…” he began.

“In a romantic way?” you interrupted.

“You sure you want to know the answer?” he asked looking for a reassurance.

“Yeah.” you clarified.

“Yes and that’s why I try to be serious around you because I know…” he began before trailing off.

“Because I know you wouldn’t go for a guy like me.” he continued sadly.

“Why would you think that?” you probed.

“Because you’re you and I’m me.” he attempted to explain but he was lost for words.

“So?” you commented.

“So I know you probably don’t like guys…Do you like me?” he started before stopping himself realising what you were getting at.

You suddenly leaned across the table, grabbed his tie, pulled him in and kissed him. In one swift motion. You broke away after a few.. a lot of seconds.

“Does that answer your question?” you asked.

“Yeah…” he choked out completely shocked.

“Now ask me out for a drink.” you ordered.

“What?” he asked still shocked.

“Ask me out for a drink before I ask you because I will take you to a karaoke bar and my first song will be Beaty and the Beast but the revised version Barba and Clariece.” you giggled.

“Y/N, would you like to go get a drink?” he asked smirking at you.

“Yes, I would.” you answered standing up.

“Great.” he smiled at you, standing up and grabbing his coat.

“So that’s what you look like when you smile. I must say your very handsome when you smile ADA Barba.” you complimented gazing at him.

“Well thank you. You ready to go?” he asked still smiling.

‘Why yes. Yes I am.” you responded as you linked arms with him and walked out the door.

Size Isn’t Everything - 4/4

Summary: Kurt’s got a bit of a size-kink. Based on this prompt from the @prompt-a-klainefic blog.
Chapter: 4/4  Read Chapter 1 here, Chapter 2 here, Chapter 3 here
Words: ~4550 (this chapter)
Warnings:  I guess? PWP, Size kink,

Complete

Many thousand apologies (again) for the long delay in between chapters. Blink and weeks disappear. The final chapter should be up before the end of the week, and thanks for still reading!

forever thanks to @mshoneysucklepink for the beta!

Blaine woke the next morning with a serious case of dry-mouth and little recollection of what had happened the night before. He remembered playing the gig, and that it went well. He remembered applause and a decent sized crowd. Despite that, he knew he still didn’t want to join the band full time, no matter how many times Sam asked. (Okay good he remembered Sam asking again last night.) He remembered drinking a lot (too much), and his friends putting him into an Uber. He didn’t get sick in the car (but wasn’t so lucky once he got home).

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Cabin Fever (Tree Bros)

Authors Note: This sucks so bad wow. Sorta wanna continue this story and make more parts of it, but only if some people want it, I guess. ALSO I DIDN’T KNOW IF YOU WANTED TREE BROS OR NOT BUT I’M A SUCKER FOR THEM SO I DID IT ANYWAYS SORRY.

Prompt:  Connor and Evan fanfic or head-can where they met at a summer camp or something like that and they were roomies idk :)

WC: 1861

CW: Swearing, Drinking, Smoking, Brief mention of throwing up

_____________________________

Evan knocked on the door of what was supposed to be his dorm. It was made of all wood and looked like it would fall down any day now. It had a single window on the side of the house, which was covered up by curtains on the inside. Music blasted from the house so loud you could hear it all the way from a solid quarter-mile away. With no response, He knocked again. And again. And again. There seemed to be no hope of whoever his roommates were to hear his knock over the deafening music. He hesitantly opened the door on his own. He took a step in and was greeted by an awful smell. He coughed from the smoke that was blocking most of his view. 

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” A voice shouted out from the corner of the room. The smell, Evan realized, was weed. This boy had been smoking it, and with only one closed window, there was no chance of the smoke exiting the stuffy, small building. 

“I… um I’m you’re roommate?” Evan stuttered, terrified of this boy; Dressed in all black, smoking weed, unkempt hair. 

“Is that a fucking question?” He stood up, blowing out a big puff of smoke and letting out a sigh. 

“Um, what, what I’m sorry? I don’t understand?”

“Is every sentence a question to you? Fucking hell.” He sighed. He attempted to walk over to his bed, but he ended up stumbling and dropping his lighter on the wooden ground. 

Evan looked at the lighter drop with terror. “You should really be careful, you know? This place could easily catch on fire and that would be extremely bad I mean it would probably spread to all the other dorms and the office and then we’ll all have none of our things, nothing, and that would be bad and maybe we’d go to jail for arson, I’m not really sure how that works, but maybe-”

“Jesus Christ dude. Calm down. I’m not gonna light this shit show camp on fire.” He snapped. “You should take a hit. It’ll help you calm the fuck down.” Evan took a step back as the boy stepped forward, holding out the sloppily rolled joint. "No, no thank you. Really um, it’s really okay. All yours.” He walked over to what he decided would be his bed. None of the other 2 beds seemed to be taken. 


“Dude, okay before you put your shit everywhere, I told the ancient desk lady that I don’t want roommates. So I think you read the number wrong because you’re not supposed to be staying here. So you should probably fuck off.” He went to go open the door for Evan. Surprised by the smell of fresh air, he coughed a bit. 

Evan looked down at the paper that told him his room assignment. “No, I’m. I’m pretty sure this is right.”

The boy grabbed the paper out of Evans hands, startling Evan a bit. He looked down at it, read it, crumpled it, and threw it on the ground. “I’m gonna go talk to that bitch. She said okay. I told her and she said okay. God damnit.”

“Maybe she was being sarcastic.” Evan whispered. 

“What the fuck did you say?” Connor yelled. 

“I’m… I’m sorry I said nothing. Nothing at all.” Evan refuted, playing with the string of his sweatshirt and turning red. “You know, um, I’m really good at pretending I don’t exist. I’m usually pretty quiet and I’m neat and I always make my bed every single day. If I stay here I promise you won’t even notice I’m here. I won’t rat you out for smoking or bringing girls over or staying out past curfew and I’ll make up excuses for you so you can sleep in, I promise you won’t even notice that I’m here. I’ll be completely invisible. I do it on a regular basis, actually, so I’ve become quite good at it.”

The boy plopped onto his bed, almost hitting his head on the bunk above. “Who said I like girls?” He smirked at Evan. “Fine. But you better mean that or else you can sleep on the bench outside.” He took a swig of something out of a metal flask hidden underneath his mattress. “Connor.”

“Um, I’m sorry what?”

“My name. Jesus Christ get your life together, man. You sure you don’t want a hit?” He walked over to Evan and grabbed his hand to shake it. His handshake was weak and loose. He was wide eyed as the boy shook his hand hard and dropped it suddenly.

Connor wiped his hand on his pants. “You’re hands are dripping sweat. That’s disgusting.” He walked past Evan, opening the door. 

“Oh. Um, I’m pretty sure lunch is starting soon?” Evan stuttered. 

“You said you’d cover for me, didn’t you?” Connor said, walking out the door. “See you tonight. Probably late.”

Evan followed him onto the porch. “You… you never asked my name?”

“Yeah. I didn’t. Because you don’t exist, remember?” He walked into the woods located only a few yards from the side of the dorm, meeting up with a few more guys. 

_____________________________

Evan sat on his top bunk reading. His bed was made and all of his things were organized neatly below. He bit at his fingernails, trying to distract himself from the fact that it was 2 am and Connor still wasn’t back. He said he would cover for him, but Evan was starting to worry that Connor got too drunk and passed out in the woods. Maybe he got caught by a counselor and is being sent home? Maybe he got eaten by wolves? No. Evan shook that out of his head. That one can’t be right. 

Evans internal debate with himself was interrupted by laughter from out front and slamming fists on the door. Crap. Was it a counselor taking count? What would happen if they realized that Connor wasn’t here? Evan quickly turned his light off, got under the covers, and pretended to sleep. 

Evan did this a lot back home. His mom would come into his room late at night, thinking she heard something, but he seemed to be asleep. He was good at hiding his breakdowns. He waited them out until the middle of the night so that his mom is asleep. But, the occasional peek in does happen, so Evan hides and sometimes lets out a little snore sound for dramatic effect. The second she left the room, Evan was back up, shaking and crying. 

The door was violently pushed open so hard that it hit the wall aside it, for sure leaving a chip in the crappy old wood. It was dark, but by the smell of smoke and the meaningless mumbling, he knew it was Connor. Evan turned his light on, scaring Connor. He squinted in Evans direction. “Fucking hell you’re just like my mom.” He hopped onto his bed without taking his shoes off. Evan climbed out of his covers. “I was… I was worried.” He played with the hem of his shirt, pulling at a loose string that had appeared out of nowhere. 

“Why the fuck do you care?” He slurred. “Judging me for living my life definitely does not count as being invisible. So just fuck off.” Connor laid down, still fully clothed. He coughed violently a bit, obviously incredibly drunk. 

Evan returned to his book, trying to block Connor out of his thoughts. He was used to getting pushed around by people, usually at school. But, it never followed him home. Evan couldn’t even go to his bunk without being treated like crap. 

He didn’t really have any friends other than his mom, and maybe a girl named Alana from school. They were more like acquaintances, though. She stood up for Evan when the other boys at school would call him gay. He didn’t understand why that was an insult. Sure, he didn’t really understand what it entailed. He had never thought about that stuff before. 

Connor coughed once more and ran into the tiny bathroom at the speed of light. It was basically just a porta-potty, except in room form. There was a shower that barely fit Evan, let alone Connor, who was incredibly tall. Evan hopped off his bunk to see if Connor was okay. He heard the sadly familiar sound of throwing up. There was one boy back home, Jared, who his mom made him hang out with. Jared drank all the time and he always overdid it, every.single.time. Evan was almost used to it by now. 

He hesitantly walked into the small bathroom to see Connor knelt down over the toilet. Praying that Connor wouldn’t snap back at him, Evan pulled back Connors long hair out of his face. It usually hangs perfectly over his shoulders. A lot of people give shit to boys with long hair, but Evan decided that it looked good on Connor. He looked good. 

When Connor finished, Evan brought him a cup of water and his toothbrush and toothpaste. “Thanks…” Connor mumbled. He brushed his teeth and gulped down the water slowly. “I’m really gonna be fucked tomorrow morning, aren’t I?” he chuckled gently.

“Probably.” Evan stuttered. “You should maybe… you should get some sleep.” Evan helped Connor back to his bunk after seeing his failure at being able to stay upright, let alone take steps. There was an awkward energy in the room. Connor didn’t even know Evans name and he didn’t seem to have any interest in learning it. Why was Evan helping him? 

Connor finally flopped onto his bed with help from Evan. “Are you… are you going to be okay?” Evan stammered awkwardly, sort of wishing he had just gone to the office lady right away to switch bunks when Connor told him to. He couldn’t do that now,he thought. Connor would hate him and ruin his entire summer. 

“Yeah, maybe. We’ll see.” Connor whispered. Evan passed him another glass of water and he took it and downed it within seconds. Evan didn’t know what else to do. Connor laid back as Evan just stood there, playing with the hem of his hoodie. “I… I should um,” He motioned his hand towards his bunk.

“Yeah.” Connor agreed, pulling his hair into a ponytail holder that had been sitting next to his bed. Evan started to walk away, but Connor grabbed his wrist before he got too far. He pulled Evan closer to him until he basically tripped onto the ground next to Connors bed. Connor used to strings hanging from Evans hoodie to pull him close. Closer than Evan was comfortable with. “Thank you.” Connor managed to mumble out.

“Evan.” 

“Huh?” Connor questioned.

“Um, my name. I thought maybe I would tell you since- I dunno I just thought that this might make us cool or something but probably not I don’t really know sorry I’m just not used to-“

“Shut up.” Connor cut him off. His tone was surprisingly unhostile. He pulled on the strings harder this time towards him until Evans lips were pressing against his. 

 

“Oh.” 

excuse me, i’d like my heart back, please

pairing: jikook (rlly can we expect anything else from me)

genre: fluff, attempted comedy

a/n: hey jo!!! @shyjimins remember that time u said this? well, this lil’ drabble is for u ;)

ao3

summary: officer jeon tries to make a move, but it doesn’t go as planned.

(alternatively: do not arrest people for stealing your heart, it’s unethical.)

Keep reading

1 • knee socks

Content: Teacher!Au, swearing, smut | 16+ | Word Count: 2.5k

masterlist

Originally posted by sweaterpawsjimin

“There’s a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable”

                                                     —Mark Twain




After he said that, all I could do was leave the room with my reddened cheeks. What was he thinking when he said that? I ran into my locker to see how bad my face was looking and just in the moment, Sunny appeared by my side.

“Excuse me but you are as red as a tomato. What happened?”

“Ah! N-Nothing happened I was just with Mr. Park and he commented about my project, just that” I said trying to hide my nervousness behind my words, not working very well.

“Are you sure he just commented about your script?” She shot a teasing glare at me instantly receiving a slap on the arm.

“Of course he did that! What more he c-could do?”

Then she mouthed an “okay” and went out of my way so I could breathe normally. I checked myself one more time on my locker’s mirror and the color of my face was getting normal but nothing changed the heat that hosted my body. This feeling grew bigger when I saw Mr. Park left the classroom, what made me run down the hall to the entrance of the school taking my way home. I know that I shouldn’t be freaking out about the things he said to me but I was, exactly because I never received a comment like that especially from a teacher. I entered home and as always I was alone, my parents always went to work in this time just leaving me with my puppy.

“Hi Mochi, I missed you too” I hugged my only true friend, “You don’t imagine what happened today”



Two Weeks After

Everything still the same at school, except for the… Literature class. Mr. Park has been acting strange around me and for strange all I can say is flirtatious, he always gave me compliments at the school hall and even in the classroom. Asked if I could stay after class to help him with some homework projects and when we did that I could saw him looking at me almost like a paper that he needed to evaluate. In the classroom, when we were doing our tasks, he would always stop right beside my desk and run his hands on my forearm with his usual smile.

After two weeks I was going crazy with that teacher. He didn’t leave me alone and my grades were slowly going down to the point my mother asked what was happening in school. So arranging all the courage I could before the class started, I went to his office. The last thing I wanted was to be reproved in his subject so I go for it. Of course, never letting go my education I knocked on the door before entering.

And he was there, with his wide grin plastered on his face. The angelic Mr. Park that I thought have met was now turning into the devilish one. He greeted me but I didn’t even opened my mouth for this part and closing the door I took a calm breath before walking furiously to his desk and slamming my hands over it, what made he jump in his chair.

“Good morning, sweet professor,” I said ironically, “What are you thinking you are doing with me?”

He let out a loud chuckle and got up from his seat, coming to my side and leaning on the desk, “Me? I’m doing exactly nothing. Or aren’t you used to receiving compliments?”

“Of course I’m used to that, but not from you. Mr. Park, do I need to tell you what are you to me?” I just wanted to finish this talk already because being just me and him in this room could turn things really bad to me and I didn’t even felt ashamed when I thought about that.

“Why are your cheeks so red? But tell me Mrs. (Y/S), What am I to you?” I saw his body leaning closer to mine and an uncontrollable heat takes lead on my body.

“You are my teacher,” I said with a thoughtful voice.

“Say that again babygirl” He leaned closer and I felt his hands wrapping around my waist and pressing me against the desk so now I couldn’t scape his touch. Actually, I couldn’t even manage to look at his face.

“What are you doing?! If someone opens that… Y-YOU ARE MY TEACHER!”

I felt his hands traveling the side of my body until they stopped at my thighs and gripping them he made me sit on his desk guiding himself to the middle of my legs. He didn’t move his hands from the place he was holding and leaning his body onto mine he gave me a peck on the cheek. I was letting he do this not because I didn’t have the strength to push him and run to the door. I was letting him because I liked everything he was making. The compliments, looks and the hard grip on my thighs.

“Don’t you think the forbidden is more desirable?” He was so close that for a moment I thought he was going to kiss me. I felt his plump lips pressing onto my neck wishing he could do more but those soft kisses were the last contact we had before the bell rang, “I think you are late for class Mrs.” He said that as he kissed the corner of my mouth and let go off of my legs.

Before opening the door I looked back and saw him sitting in his chair, reading some papers with his round glasses at the tip of his nose, he lifted his head and sent me a wink. I didn’t smile though, if I let him do what he wants I’ll be in trouble. I almost flew to my first period and for some luck, the teacher wasn’t there yet, but Sunny was. That is, I would be questioned anyway.

“Where were you?! And what happened to your face? It’s red again!” I made a signal to her to shut her mouth because everyone looked at us at that point.

“Nothing happened Sunny!”

In reality, a lot happened. Well, at least I considerate that a lot and couldn’t risk telling my friend about all of this. It wasn’t that I didn’t trust her but if I tell this to Sunny, she will be just one more person to keep secret from the others. I can’t even imagine if my mom finds out something about this, she would ground me to death and make sure that Mr. Park would go to jail because this possibility exists. Although, I know that I’m overreacting and he’ll stop doing these things for sure.

Sunny told me that almost all the girl from my class hated me because of the attention I was getting from the teacher. Funny how they totally forget about the existence of Jeon Jungkook when he started to manage the Literature class. She told me even she found him attractive but not someone who would like to risk her school life by getting near the new teacher.

The last period was his. He entered the class and while my classmates were fighting to take the desks to sit next to him I moved my things to the furthest place in the room.  Even when I tried to hide on the back I saw him walking in my direction with a serious face, just because he couldn’t hit on me at the classroom, after he gave wrote the lesson on the chalkboard. But instead of touching me he just threw a piece of paper on my desk and went back to the front of the class.

Oh, now he will keep things mysterious as maybe he didn’t like what how I acted earlier in that day.

I decided to open the letter and read his beautiful calligraphy.

I think you are in trouble. I noticed the principal about your grades in my subject exactly after you let my office and I hope your situation gets better, Mrs. He called your mother she’s waiting for you in his room to have a talk and take the right choices. In the next period they’ll be waiting you in the principal’s office.

I just want your wellbeing.

~Mr. Park 

I literally felt my blood boil. I just don’t know what did I have in my mind when out of nowhere I threw the paper at his back. In that moment, when he turned to me with a cold expression I knew that I was screwed more than ever. He picked up the paper from the ground and kept with him — not wanting to risk throwing away, someone could read it — and sighed loudly for everyone to hear.

I was hating him and everything he was doing.

“Mrs. (Y/S), how can you explain what you did? Throwing a piece of paper on my back?”

“I’m sorry, sir” I saw him shiver when that word left my mouth.

“You are going to pay your apologies after the class ends, cleaning the bathrooms” What? Was he going out of his head? Of course, he had to be overreacting because no one should clean the bathrooms because of that. He wanted to get his revenge on me for sure but why did he have to do it in front of the whole class.


“Excuse me Mr. Kim, have you called me?” I entered the principal’s office glad to notice that my mom wasn’t there anymore. Sadly she’ll be at home in the night.

“Good Morning (Y/N), please enter” The principal always called the students by their first names so they could feel more comfortable around him, “Your mom had to leave because of a problem on the job”

He guided me to take a sit in front of his desk while picking up some papers and checking my school’s schedule. Why was he looking at that? I didn’t do any extra classes.

“Well, Mr. Park noticed me about your situation on his subject and I’m impressed, young lady. You were one of the first positioned students in Literature and your grades took a really different road now. Your mom didn’t stay satisfied and said that you needed to study more but, I know that’s not the true reason for this failure. If anything is happening at home or even at school you have to tell me alright?”

“Nothing’s happening Mr. Kim” He nodded as I told him that. Obviously, the truth couldn’t be told.

“Right. So I have one mo—” He was interrupted by the sound of the door opening, I couldn’t see who it was since I was sat backward to it, “Oh Mr. Park! Thank you for receiving my call, take a seat please”

“Excuse me, good morning Mrs. (Y/S)” He sat next to me seeming to be really comfortable with all of that.

“As I was saying to our student Mr. Park, she needs to get better at your subject and by that I mean she needs to put extra classes on her schedule”

Oh, my God. Please don’t say what I’m thinking. I could see the satisfaction grin forming on the man by my side. His tongue darting out to lick his upper lip, the same lips that marked my neck with soft kisses. He wanted to play with me and I’m going to join his game. I slowly lowered my body on the chair, making my skirt rise a little and getting him a view of my lace knee socks that were tight around my thighs.

“I suggested to (Y/N)’s some teachers that work exactly with this kind of classes but she insisted that if possible Mr. Park should give this lessons. Are you alright with that teacher?”

Thank you so much, mom. I felt his gaze run down my legs and he shifted on the place clearing his throat. I never did something like this and now, in the principal’s office, I was doing without one bit of a shame. I decided to tease him even more by taking one of my shoes off and starting to move my foot up and down his leg. I did all of that while sitting in that chair and putting my elbows on the desk.

“T-That’s no problem for me, Mr. Kim. I always stay at least one hour after my period on the library, organizing my lessons. Can we manage that Mrs. (Y/S)?” Mr. Park was at his edge when he held my thigh stopping it from moving. He pressed his fingers on it trying to relieve the tension he was feeling.

“Well, if you say so,” I said taking his hand away. I’m not going to give him this pleasure.

“Okay then, this is your new schedule. You can go to accomplish your detention now and just to let you know that I’m really disappointed with your behavior towards Mr. Park”


This is ridiculous.

I did nothing wrong and still, Mr. Park sent me to detention and now I’m here cleaning the boy bathroom’s floor. The place was one hell of a vision, there was no doubt that it was pee in the walls and the smell was terrible. I got down on my knees and started to rub the floor. What kind of girl have I turned into? As a frustration feeling was taking back at my mind I let down some flustered tears strip down your face.

“A princess shouldn’t cry like this. This makes them look so naive although you are far from that right?”

I turned just to see Mr. Park standing at the door frame. He moved in and locked the bathroom.

“What are you doing in here?” I asked while standing on my feet and cleaning my tears probably looking awful with my clothes covered in dirty.

“Just checking on my student, can’t I?” He came closer and grabbed my waist holding me onto his chest, “Don’t cry anymore. I’m sorry about this”

“You did this on purpose, didn’t you?” I said pushing him away but just winning his body pressing against mine on the sink counter. 

“Don’t get at me like that, you are so lucky that I won’t punish you today” He let go off of your waist and kissed your cheek, “Goodbye (Y/N)”

I was really pissed at him but I couldn’t deny the heat forming between your thighs.

Prompt List

Hello friends! In honor of me hitting 3k a couple of days ago, I’ve decided to do some drabbles! Below is a list of prompts that YOU can choose from! Once you’ve figured out what prompt/quote you want, come pop it in my ask!

The characters you can choose from are Bucky (40′s if you’d like), Lance, Seb (obvi), and Blaine (from Hot Tub Time Machine + I’ll try my very best!) (and maybe Jefferson, Chris Beck, TJ Hammond and Carter Baizen).

Oh! Also the “______” in some of the quotes are blanks meaning whichever character you choose, their name will go there. For example, if you choose #7 with Lance it would be: “Lance, no.” “Lance, YES.”

Alright, let’s get this show on the road!


1. “Please don’t leave me.”

2. “Grab my ass one more time and see what happens.”

3. “This is me. I am the eye of the storm and my heart is a little broken but if you want me, I’m yours.”

4. “You’re with him till the end of the line but what about me?”

5. “The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay Safe. Eat cake.”

6. “Y/N no.” + “Y/N yes.”

7. “______, no.” + “______, YES.”

8. “Are you eating again?”

9. “What are you doing?” + “Trying to use my telekinesis to bring the remote to me.”

10. “You dare insult me mortal?”

11. “What is life without a little risk?”

12. “I don’t think this was a good idea.” + “This was your idea.”

13. “I’m feeling as fresh as freshly baked toast.”

14. “The last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.”

15. “Women are always stealing my shirts.”

16. “You’re a flawless piece of shit.”

17. “You’re a babe.”

18. “Do you still like me?” + “We’re married.”

19. “You run your heart like a hotel - you’ve always got people checking in and checking out.”

20. “We’re falling apart.” + “Because you’re not trying!”

21. “I like you, you squid!”

22. “It frustrates me how much I love you and you don’t know. But, I like being frustrated. I don’t mind being frustrated if it’s because of you.”

23. “I know there are pretty girls at this school but none of them are as beautiful as you, darlin’.”

24. “I’m straight up lovable.”

25. “I thought you loved me, not him.”

26. “You’re hot when you’re jealous.”

27. “You like riding things? Ride me.”

28. “I didn’t understand a word you just said. I don’t speak French.” + “I wasn’t speaking French.”

29. “I’m not supposed to laugh, right?”

30. “I’m so tired of being lonely.”

31. “Eat me.”

32. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

33. “Are you drunk?”

34. “You look just like my girlfriend!” + “Oh shit, you are my girlfriend.”

35. “You know I’m not gonna fall asleep until you make out with me.”

36. “My penis is bigger than yours.” + “You don’t have a penis.”

37. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re actually human.”

38. “Our relationship is canceled until further notice.”

39. “You’re so wrong.” + “So wrong, I’m right.”

40. “Who said you could be friends with my mom?” + “Your mom.”

41. “Why am I dating you.”

42. “This is pretty good.” + “That’s our baby’s food.”

43. “I’m forrealsies this time.” + “I can’t believe you just said forrealsies.”

44. “I know I say I love you but I love you.”

45. “Stop kissing me! You’re spreading your gross germs!”

46. “We really need to stop watching Criminal Minds at two in the morning.”

47. “I don’t get jealous.”

48. “Can I sit here?” + “You can sit on my face.”

49. “Why should I trust you?”

50. “Are you flirting with me?” + “Oh my god I’ve been flirting with you for the past two years.”

51. “You deserve better.”

52. “When were you gonna tell me that you’re pregnant?”

53. “If I had that face, I’d cry too.”

54. “So… about that blowjob.”

55. “How the hell did you end up in jail?” + “It’s a long story.”

56. “Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and go ‘wow, I’m so beautiful’ because same.”

57. “Calm down all I did was break his nose.”

58. “Why are you so clingy?”

59. “I just wanna.. touch.. your boobs.”

60. “Touch me.”

61. “Don’t fucking try me, I’ll whip my Harry Potter wand out on you.”

62. “I just really love you, okay?”

63. “You better not be friend-zoning me.”

64. “All I’m asking is for you to love me back, is that so hard?”

65. “Did you just squeeze my ass?” + “Yeah, it was really firm.”

66. “You look good enough to eat.”

67. “Why don’t you like me?”

68. “Oh my god you cheated, didn’t you?”

69. “No don’t go in there!” + “Why is there a puppy in the closet?”

70. “I’m feeling really attacked right now.”

71. “You’re a big ball of happiness mixed with cute things and sprinkles.”

72. “Marry me.”

73.  “So this is it? You’re just leaving?”

74. “So between me and James Franco, who would you choose?” + “Don’t ask that, you’ll only get hurt.”

75. “You’re so goddamn beautiful.”

76. “Squids have eyes and a mouth and we have eyes and a mouth. We’re basically squids.”

77. “I love you and it hurts that you don’t love me back.”

78. “I love you so damn much and it scares me, okay?”

79. “Y/N, I have something to tell you…. I’m pregnant.” + “You’re a man, _____”

80. “I’ve never kissed anyone.” + “This is a problem.”

81. “I don’t know why I like you so much and it frustrates the hell out of me.”

82. “You’re gorgeous and captivating. Like I said, I want you.”

83. “I know I say I don’t want a relationship but you make me want to have one… with you.”

84. “I know you’ve given me your all and too, too many chances but please… give me one more chance.”

85. “So do you wanna like.. date me and stuff?”

86. “We should bang - shit, I mean hang.”

87. “You look happy and it’s killing me.”

88. “Say it again.” + “I love you.”

89. “I can’t believe you cheated.” + “It was just Mariokart.”

90. “Why wear underwear when you could wear none.”

91. “I think we got married last night.”

92. “I won’t bite… hard.”

93. “Do I make you horny baby? Do I? Do I make you randy?” + “Okay one, you need to stop watching Austin Powers and two, I am completely turned off now.”

94. “Do you really love her ______?”

95. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

96. “Stop pushing me away and just let me love you!”

97. “Can I do your makeup?” + “Only if you make me look super hot.”

98. “Can we just cuddle until our bodies become one with the bed?”

99. “Oh my god ______ I’m so sorry I thought - I didn’t know you were doing… that.”

100. A quote of your choice.

Some of the quotes are from those of you who sent me one, others are from movies, I think tv shows, some just popped into my head and some are things my ex girlfriend told me :)

Which Tintin Characters You Should Fight
  • Tintin: Oh my god. Either you've never opened a Tintin book in your life, or you're just plain stupid. What the fuck makes you think you could take on Tintin? Have you seen what he can do? He's been shot four different times and lived. He's wrestled bears in Russia. One time he got attacked by three burly men in a Chinese prison and sent all. three. of them to the hospital. Think about that. Do not fight.
  • Haddock: Ok, so Haddock's a pretty tough guy. If you tried to take him on physically, you'd probably lose. But if you got him drunk enough you could insult him into submission. But why the hell would you do that? Hasn't he already been through enough? Do not fight.
  • Thompsons: You'd think since there are two of them, it'd be a loaded challenge, right? Wrong. These two couldn't fight their way out of a paper bag. Go ahead, fight the Thompsons.
  • Calculus: Are you really going to fight an old man? A deaf old man? Well if you insist. Just know that this deaf old man was quite an athelete in his youth and knows savate and can probably fuck you up in old-timey ways your millenial ass didn't even know were possible. And god help you should you ever call him a goat. Go ahead, fight Calculus. But you'll probably lose.
  • Nestor: Please do not fight Nestor. Do you think that with all he's had to put up with as Marlinspike's lone butler, he'd be any degree of phased at your scrawny punk ass? Please. Look at that fucker's stone cold face. He'll knock your ass out and use your mangled corpse for an ironing board. Seriously. I'm saying this because I like you. Don't fight Nestor.
  • Chang: I do not recommend fighting Chang. Not because I think you'd lose, and not merely because he is a sweet cinnamon roll child who you ought to feel ashamed for thinking you could fight, but look at his posse. He's friends with Tintin AND Haddock. Motherfuckers went to Tibet and fought a Yeti for him. Go ahead, fight Chang, but only if you're prepared for the shitstorm that will follow.
  • Zorrino: What kind of asshole are you, anyway? You filth, don't even look at me. That's like asking me if it's okay to kick a kitten. And the answer is no. Do not fight Zorrino, and may God have mercy on your soul.
  • Bianca: "Poor, weak woman" nothing. There is nothing weak about Bianca. One time she got arrested for conspiracy and shut down her own trial in only FIVE comic panels. When jailed, her biggest concern was that her pasta wasn't being cooked properly. You think she's scared of you? She'll just tag team with Irma and take your ass down in nothing flat. Kneel before the queen, you piece of shit peasant.
  • Jolyon Wagg: PLEASE fight Jolyon. I speak for everyone in the fandom and every character in the series when I say that you'd be doing us all a huge favor. You could probably take him down with one punch. Please fight Jolyon, be the hero this fandom needs.