oh come on that was a good pun

OTP Quotes Challenge

A belated celebration for reaching 5000+ followers! Here we have a list of random quotes for you to use for your OTP! You can have followers tell you numbers to draw your OTP as, or you can write stories based on your favorites, or both! Take these quotes in any direction you like for your creative use. Have fun!

  1. “Aah! That tickles!”
  2. “whAT IS THAT?!”
  3. “woah what happened while I was gone”
  4. “wait no that’s mine what are you doing”
  5. “No, I’m paying”
  6. “It’s fine, stop worrying about me”
  7. “dON’T TELL ME I CAN’T DO THAT I WILL DO THAT THING ALL I WANT”
  8. “Come over here— oh crap no don’t fall— why does this always happen”
  9. “just tAKE THE JACKET”
  10. “I’m so hungry I could eat a— stop looking at me like that in public”
  11. “Well, that was certainly awkward”
  12. “waIT DON’T RUN AT ME I’LL FALL”
  13. “are… are you awake? Did you fall asleep already”
  14. “great, what did you bring home this time?”
  15. “I don’t know why you don’t like this outfit on you. You look splendid.”
  16. “aaah I can’t stop blushing… No you’re not helping at all”
  17. “I can’t believe they spelled your name wrong again”
  18. “enOUGH! ENOUGH WITH YOUR PUNS”
  19. “I can’t… I can’t believe you actually remembered…”
  20. “Put some clothes on already, jeez! We have company coming!”
  21. “okay, and how much money did you spend on that thing?”
  22. “I wish we could stay here forever”
  23. “who was that? oh… your cousin…”
  24. “You okay? You seem a little off today”
  25. “I’m fine
  26. “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
  27. “c-can I hold your hand?..”
  28. “GIVE ME YOUR HAND”
  29. “oh, remember when you used to wear that all the time? Good times.”
  30. “you can’t run so it’ll be faster if I just carry you”
  31. “You don’t need to tell me— I’ve memorized your order by now”
  32. “y-you look… you look very nice.”
  33. “did that person just take a picture of us?”
  34. “c’mon, let’s dance!”
  35. “oh mY GOD ARE THESE YOUR BABY PICTURES???”
  36. “oh, we are not letting you drive when you’re like this”
  37. “you’re a nerd. but my favorite nerd.”
  38. “why do you find those cute I hate those pictures of myself”
  39. “you’re very warm… It’s nice.”
  40. “You know what? I wasn’t even surprised by that. I’m that used to you.”
  41. “Wait, stay right there— I’ve got a song for you”
  42. “oh thank goodness… I didn’t think you’d still be here.”
  43. “You don’t have to do this if you’re scared”
  44. “EVERY TIME I SAY THAT YOU ALWAYS MAKE THE SAME PUN”
  45. “I can’t believe you actually bought that”
  46. “that… that was a lot different than I thought it’d be”
  47. “no stop i’M HURTING FROM LAUGHING SO MUCH”
  48. “let’s pretend I didn’t see you do that”
  49. “You’re too sweet”
  50. “ah, you’re up. how’d you sleep?”
Types as people I've met irl (ENFP pov)

Saw several posts about this & thought it would be a cool thing to do

ISFJ
- least judgmental person /ever/
- loves going on exciting trips
- “do u want me to do the dishes?”
- if they’re with someone who’s good with puns they suddenly come up with great material, if they’re with a physically affectionate person they’ll return the affection whole heartedly
- is actually pretty straightforward about opinions but never in a rude way

ENFP
- can’t say no
- unbeknownst to many is actually pretty self conscious
- “oh gosh why did I do that!!” regrets, regrets, regrets
- 100% night owl
- Let’s Talk About Our Insecurities™
- they have crazy energy spikes & then retreat into a shell to recharge

ESFP
- usually has a bunch of good friends that are of the opposite sex
- gets offended over the stupidest things
- the one who calms you down and tells you everything will be OK
- in love with bromance
- “I can’t I’m super busy with work I literally don’t even have 5 minutes I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight!!” *leaves on spontaneous trip to the woods for 4 days with no reception*

INTP
- will introduce you to some of the best places/experiences
- music taste on point
- “let me tell u why this person will never get anywhere”
- actually pretty successful out in the real world
- surprisingly very judgmental
- great jokes

INFJ
- hair, makeup, outfit, purse, everything must be perfect
- amazing cook
- d a n c i n g when no one’s watching
- takes a while to open up, but when they do it’s like a whole other world
- will drop their friends when they get into a romantic relationship

ESTJ
- the person with the most shocking sense of humor
- does things that at times aren’t socially acceptable
- can be surprisingly introspective
- super blunt
- is actually a cat whisperer

ISTJ
- they’re actually super funny????
- smart conversationalists
- if they hate you, you prolly don’t know it
- fine with school, and in some cases actually like it
- never get emotional

INFP
- yearn for change, will make important life decisions on a whim sometimes
- deep & intimate late night conversations
- will go on an adventure w/ u @ midnight
- need lots of love & encouragement
- big dreams but have a fear they’ll never achieve them

ESTP
- Rebellious™
- love things like rock climbing and hiking
- feel more affection for their kitty than for people lol
- will be pissed if u knock on their window at 5 am but will still get up and do ur hair for u bc u need it for a photoshoot bc inside they are truly fuzzballs
- lots of boyfriends/girlfriends

ENFJ
- will see that you’re feeling down and will shower you with love & gifts
- super expressive in facial expressions
- if they talk to you they are pretty open about the people they don’t like
- super involved in everything
- has a really fun childlike side

INTJ
- believes in you when you don’t
- replies to compliments with “I know.”
- “you can do better”
- prolly smarter than you
- spunky
- volunteers bc they have the desire to help people less fortunate than them

anonymous asked:

can i request a ten, taeyong, and haechan neighbour au?? hehe i really love your writing a lot < 3

ten’s birthday is next week, so here’s a kind of early gift to all you ten stans!!
and of course, taeyong and haechan stans~(´・` )♡
find mark + jaehyun (here)

Ten

  • definitely,,,,,, loud
  • he throws parties on the weekends and practices guitar on the weekdays while also getting REALLY R E A L L Y into nba 2k17,,,,,,
  • especially if johnny comes over like the two of them cannot shuttup and neighbors always have to go over and be like “quiet down” and johnny apologizes while ten just sneers and is like “YEAH JOHNNY WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD” and johnny is like “i swear once this door is closed-”
  • but he’s FUN,,,,,like there is not denying that he’s an entertaining, amusing, and great person like why else would his apartment be basically filled to the brim with people who he probably doesn’t even know all that well
  • yeah the snacks,,,,,but also like?? ten makes great jokes, he’s good at making everyone feel comfortable, and his dancing: a+
  • he’s the whole package,,,,,,,,,even though his place is a mess monday morning and he has to practically beg taeyong and jaehyun to come over and help him clean
  • and he once tried to ask hansol and hansol was like “you brought this on yourself lolololol” and the proceeded to hang up on him whenever ten tried to call him back (real friends are like this tbh)
  • speaking of which ten has ,,,,, like no idea how to keep his things organized,,,,,,,,because he has so much stuff like every time he leaves his house he’s wearing a brand new outfit 
  • and everyone is like bro you spend way too much money on clothes,,,,,why do you need so much and ten is like Firstly: it’s fashion you Wouldn’t Get It,,,,,,,,secondly someone stole some of my pants from my last party ok leave it alone
  • but his apartment itself is pretty cool, like somehow he got mark to ask renjun to come over and paint on his wall and it turned out really cool and ten’s the type to have fancy stuff for no reason like did you really need to buy a lamp that looks like a chandelier and ten is like yeah i did bye
  • cute lil secret: he keeps letters from his parents back in thailand in a shoebox in his locked closet so it’s safe because it’s the one thing he refuses to lose,,,,,,,,,,,
  • but you know ten if not because you have to listen to the music he blasts at each of his parties and him yell at his friends when they play games but also,,,,,,,,,on multiple occasions
  • ten has come to you for help
  • with many,,,,,,,,,,different,,,,,,,,thing
  • one of the most common is he always ends up needing a place to crash for the night because someone else fell asleep in his bed,,,,,,and his couch,,,,,,,,and on his floor. then there was the time he woke up with his head in a bowl of uneaten ramen and the noodles had gotten stuck in his ear piercings and you had to get them out while ten cried about how gross that was,,,,,and of course the most famous: ten gets tipsy and Emotional and you,,,,,,,well
  • you listen to him
  • mind you in the morning when he’s all better ten is just like “hEY thanks for letting me cry and ,,,,,,,,, stuff let’s never talk about this again!!!!”
  • and you feel bad because ,,,,,,,lmao you’re just his neighbor who also knows his deepest insecurities and fears and it’s like????? you never have the heart to get mad at him for knocking on your door at 2 am
  • but also,,,,,,you like then ten that is open with his feelings. the ten that cuddles into your arm face first and mumbles that you’re so sweet to him, so kind
  • but when ten,,,,,,is being his loud, fun self he’s not exactly that person
  • until you end up being the one in need of help,,,,,knocking on ten’s door at some odd hour and he opens it, shocked to see you and you’re like
  • “where is your alcohol stash,,,,,,,,give it it to me” and ten slows you down by catching you around the waist and he’s like “are you o-?” and you’re like NOPE IM NOT ,,,,,,give me,,,,,,,,,the,,,,,,,,drinks 
  • but ten isn’t letting you go and he’s like “sit down, tell me whats up” and you grumble that it doesn’t matter, trying to hide behind your hair a bit so he can’t see that you had been crying 
  • but ten just shakes his head and he’s like “c’mon,,,,,i know you listen to me when i come sobbing over to you,,,,,,tell me what it is”
  • and you’re like “ten,,,,,,,,,,,do you even see me as a friend? or am i just the closest person near you when you have to complain?” 
  • and it’s quiet and ten kind of looks at you, but then he gently pokes the center of your forehead and he’s like “of course you’re my friend,,,,,,to be honest,,,,,,,ive always thought of you as more than that. to me,,,,like i want,,,,,,,want you to be more than a friend but,,,,,,,i know you don’t feel that way so i just wanted to be close to you,,,,,,,,”
  • and for the first time you’re hearing ten stutter over his words (when he’s not drunk) and you’re like “wait wait wait stop”
  • and you put your finger to his lips and he’s like ??? and you’re like
  • “you want me to be more than your friend?” and ten is like ,,,,,,,, “how,,,,,,,,,well,,,,,,let me say it like this it’s hard not to fall for the person who pulled ramen out of my earrings for me.”
  • and you’re blinking a bit, completely forgetting the thing that made you upset because wait. is ten confessing??????
  • and you’re like “so you like me?” and he’s like “yes, i like you. i thought bothering you all the time made that obvious”
  • and you’re like aljfkddkskre it didnt,,,,,,and ten is like “huh, did you also not hear when johnny screamed ‘GO CONFESS TO THE PERSON NEXT DOOR THAT YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH THEM YOU IDIOT’???”
  • and you’re like holy shit no i missed that too
  • and ten is like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,how

Taeyong 

  • the model neighbor 
  • as in he looks like an actual model, and is also super clean and quiet and ??? just very overly polite like he just wants people to like him ya know?????
  • he’s barely home because he’s always over at his friends houses doing their chores because they never want to,,,,,,like when taeyong explained that you have to change your bedsheets at least every three weeks ten dam near had a heart attack because he was like “ive been sleeping on just my mattress for the past 7 months” and taeyong was like HOW ARE YOU A PERSON
  • taeyong loves cute stationary, and cute mugs, and owns an apron with little kitten embroidered on the side and those hanging plants that he decorated his bedroom with and idk he’s got like,,,,,,a clock that looks like a sunflower
  • like taeyong,,,,,,,,is just a boy who loves things that make his apartment more adorable and clean
  • owns every cleaning product imaginable and dedicated a whole closet to them
  • the type to have labels on all his cupboards and shelves and you open his refrigerator and everything is labeled it’s like,,,,,,how does he have the damn nerve to do this
  • also: uses coasters for his drink because he gets anxious about drinks spilling onto his rug
  • but yeah other than that,,,,he’s kinda awkward around most people,,,,but he does his best to smile and come off sweet
  • and you’ve seen him,,,,,,lugging home like three different brands of detergent and a new mop every week and you’re like huh so he’s super,,,,,,like,,,,,,,into cleaning
  • which you’re like is fine but you,,,,,after only recently moving in,,,,hasn’t even unpacked half your things yet and everytime your friends from your original hometown call you’re like (—: im an adult. my apartment is nice and sparkly and im doing fine
  • (this is a lie. you’ve been living off fast-food and half your stuff is still in boxes)
  • which is why when your best friend says she’ll be visiting tomorrow you’re like HOLD UP
  • and you know just the person to go a solicit help from. taeyong
  • and when you knock on his door he’s like surprised because you two have never held a solid conversation
  • and he is like “oh hello, i know we’ve never properly-”
  • and you’re like “you have 309458 mops right. you got a duster,,,,,,thing,,,,,,,,right”
  • and he’s like “feather duster?” and you’re like YEAH THAT,,,,,,,listen i need help now
  • and when you explain that you (being the lazy person we ALL are) didn’t unpack or clean or do anything and your friend is coming tomorrow and you don’t want to look like a Failure of an Adult in front of her,,,,,,,well taeyong kind of looks at you and is like 
  • “,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,fine ill get the swivel sweeper”
  • and you guys spend like 7 hours getting your things unpacked and taeyong is really good at like????? decorating and he’s like “OH i have the peRFECT thing”
  • and he runs over to his place and comes back holding this cute like paper weight in the shape of like a giraffe and he puts it on your desk and you’re like “,,,,,,,,,,what is that” and he’s like “are you really an adult?”
  • but he helps you a lot and it’s kind of fun, he has like,,,,,,,,a really nice laugh you made a pun about like cleaning and he almost fell over laughing it was really,,,,,,,,,,cute
  • and once you’re done you’re like how should i thank you
  • and he’s like “it’s fine, you don’t have to!!”
  • and you’re like,,,,,,,,,,but i should but he’s like really no it’s nothing
  • but even after he leaves,,,,,,you’re like this is mean he worked so hard for me
  • and it bugs you, even after you friend comes over and is like WOW this place is so clean im impressed
  • that you end up going out and buying one of those cute little home humidifiers and you’re like “this seems taeyong-ish”
  • and you knock on his door again and he’s like “oh!!! do you need to borrow my mo-” and you’re like “here!!!!!! it’s a small gift,,,,,,but i thought you might like it,,,,,,,,,,,,,”
  • and he looks down at the bag and he gets super duper red and he’s like “i,,,,,,,,i can’t accept this,,,,,,,it’s too much,,,,,,”
  • and you’re like ashofvd you spent SIX HOURS cleaning my house for me pleASE 
  • and finally you manage to get taeyong to take the gift and you’re like “anyway,,,,,,,,,,seriously thank you”
  • and taeyong kind of hesitates but he’s like
  • “do you,,,,,,,,,,,,wanna come inside,,,,,,,,,i don’t usually let people over but,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”
  • and you’re like huh oh sure!!! and ok his house looks like a palace there isn’t any dirt anywhere
  • and when he makes you a cup of tea there’s like little cute bears on the mug and you’re looking at the cup and at taeyong’s beautiful face and you
  • can’t help but giggle and he’s going red again like,,,,,,,am i funny?? are you laughing at me??
  • and you’re like “no no no you’re just so,,,,,,,,,,much cuter than i expected!!”
  • and taeyong damn near falls over,,,,,,,you called him CUTE?!?!?! and you’re like “i didn’t think someone so chic would be into little cute animals” and taeyong is like im not,,,,,,chic,,,,,,,,plus animals are so,,,,,adorable right
  • and you’re like omg taeyong you i should have gotten you a big stuffed bear and he’s like aGHDSd no,,,,,,i love what you got me don’t worry about it
  • and he’s so cute getting nervous and staring at his lap,,,,,,,you can’t help but wanna lean over and like kiss his face but you don’t 
  • even though tbh taeyong is like,,,,,,,,,i wouldn’t mind being kissed by them,,,,,,,,like in his head LOL

Haechan

  • thought he was old enough to be totally fine living alone. and he is,,,,,,,except he goes over to everyones house for his meals and got mark’s netflix password so he didn’t have to pay for it himself
  • how many times has yuta lent him his nintendo ds? like 32424234
  • jaehyun is convinced haechan took his ricecooker,,,,,,,,,but he has no way to prove it except that haechan was like “nooo hyung i got this at the mall on sale i promise!!!!” and jaehyun is like “then where did mine disappear to?” and haechan is like thats your problem,,,,so,,,,,,
  • but it’s ok because everyone adores him because if he wants something all he has to do is be a cute kid and bam! he gets it
  • and although he’s a little trickster, and sometimes his hyungs fall into his traps. he shows that he cares for them too
  • and especially for his friends that are younger, like when chenle and jisung come over to hangout haechan will literally be like “if you stay past 10. you have to sleepover. im not letting you go out in the dark.”
  • and he knows how taeyong hates messes so he brought coasters just for him and he always has snacks that he knows mark likes 
  • like YES he can be a bit of ,,,,,,,,,,, a devil but he’s a sweetheart too
  • his apartment isn’t full of too many toys or anything he actually has a pretty mature taste
  • and if anything he just really likes having a space for him to write and think clearly because to me, haechan is really creative and so he’d like a big desk with post-its and books full of ideas,,,,he just comes off that way
  • but he’d have some like cute joke stuff like a really bad photo of johnny framed and on his bookshelf or something LOL
  • also idk why,,,,,,but haechan seems like he’d have a dog,,,,,like a corgi,,,,,or a beagle,,,,,,,,, 
  • anyway you’re really close with haechan because you love love love teasing doyoung and mark and jaehyun 
  • you guys kind of bonded over pulling harmless pranks together 
  • and so for ten’s upcoming birthday you and him decided to make cookies but to fill some up with hot sauce or wasabi just to see ten run around the room arms flailing 
  • but as you know,,,,,,doing anything with haechan can’t be a calm and clean process
  • halfway through you try to feed him some vanilla extract saying it’s melted white chocolate and he tries to get some icing on the side of your face
  • but it’s all fun and games like,,,,,,,you love being in each others company because you guys never get sick of being silly
  • until someone (probably haechan) ends up spilling some of the eggs on the floor and neither of you notice
  • until you slip on your way to the oven and go tumbling backwards
  • and you’re like haechan!!!!!! look out!!!!!
  • but he’s like throwing down the flour he’s holding to outstretch his arms and catch you
  • but it just ends up with both of you on the floor, covered in the eggs and sugar and flour
  • and you’re leaning against haechan whose hit his arm on the counter coming down
  • and you’re like “are you ok????” and haechan is like “no i think im bleeding”
  • and he puts his hand up and you see some red and you’re like HAECHAN oh my god im so sO SOrry let me get a bandage omg do you not have any here let me rip some off this tissue -
  • and then out of nowhere he starts to laugh and you’re like ??????? and he’s like “it’s just some red icing, im fine!!!”
  • and you sit there on the floor, and frown and you’re like “you scared me!!!!! i thought you were hurt,,,,if i had hurt you i don’t know what i-”
  • and haechan can see the sadness in your eyes and automatically his smile falls
  • and he’s like “im sorry, it was a dumb joke why are you so worried about me anyway, you know im indestructible!”
  • and you know he’s playing around but you still take his wrist and turn his arm to make sure he isn’t hiding that he might be really hurt
  • and you’re like “im glad you’re ok,,,,,,,,,,,,”
  • and haechan looks at you, still holding his arm and he’s like
  • “wait,,,,,,,,,,,,,did you get all worried about me like that because maybe,,,,,,,”
  • and you look up wide eyes and you’re like “UH”
  • and haechan is like snapping his fingers like “YOU LIKE ME?”
  • and you’re ike UHHHHHH WHAT SHUT UP NO WAY
  • but haechan is like mimicking your voice and he’s like “you scared me!!!” but then he reaches out and pulls you toward him into a hug
  • and he’s like “seriously, you could have just told me because i like you too!!!!!!”
  • and you’re like haECHAN don’t be playing some kind of joke on me-
  • and he’s like “this isn’t a joke, i promise, for real this time.”
  • and you can’t help but blush and be like “we’re covered in eggs let’s not hug-” but haechan just pushes you closer because like c’mon he totally would 
“Bruce...sucks” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The women of the League are teasing you about the love bites that litter your body….

I already kinda had the idea of doing a similar story on the women side…So here we go. Last time the guys of the League were mocking Bruce for the scratches on his back (you can read that here), now, it’s Batmom’s turn (though I feel it’s not as funny as the other, I tried something else you know, so that the stories wouldn’t be exactly the same, too similar and shit…erf, whatever, hope it’s kinda ok). Hope you’ll like it (insecuritiesoverloadbutitsok) 

WARNING FOR LANGAGE and slightly NSFW, just slightly. Also, my masterlist : http://ellana-ravenwood.tumblr.com/masterlist

__________________________________________________

It wasn’t really part of your initial plan to shower at the same time than them. Bruce told you about his friends trying to tease him about the nail marks you left on his body after a heated night, and you were afraid that your girl friends would do the same, a bit paranoid about it really…

But then you thought about the fact that usually, women tended to be a bit more mature about that (maybe?), that they would probably behave and ignore the hundreds (literally) love bites on your body. 

Besides, there was only Diana, Zatanna and Dinah, surely, they wouldn’t say anything, after all, they were used to Bruce being affectionate towards you when he thought no one was watching, small love bites wouldn’t shock them or anything. They were your three best friends, they knew how to not intrude too much in your life. They would definitely not talk about the marks your husband left on your body. 

And oh you were so wrong. 

You were in your underwear when you started to notice their smirks, and the way they whispered in each other’s ears while looking at you. No…could it be ?

You turn around, and when Diana’s eyes go wide at the sight of the love bites on your front while Zatanna and Dinah just start laughing stupidly, you know you actually were right to “fear” a reaction from them. You roll your eyes and give them your best “really ?” facial expression before saying :

-Are you guys snickering like idiots because of the love bites ? 

Zatanna answers your question :

-No, we’re snickering like idiots because Bruce…

And then it happens. The worst pun you ever heard in your life (and you were used to Dick and Tim’s nerdy jokes). All three of them yell : 

-SUCKS !

Stun. That’s what you are. Wow. Even worst that the poor attempt from your male friend in the league to embarrass Bruce. An awful pun. 

Keep reading

Many Burgers, Many Days - Jughead Jones Imagine

REQUESTED: No, but I already did an Archie imagine so I wanted to do one for Jughead!

WARNINGS: Sarcasm. And puns. (Also some swearing.)

SUMMARY: A story of yours and Jug’s relationship over the summer.

NOTES: So, Episode 3 of Riverdale happened. Yep. (Please can Grundy just get out :////)

Also, I’m getting closer and closer to performance night for my school musical, so updates may be few and far between.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this one! 

Originally posted by mieczyslwstilinski

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

I might be having surgery in the near future and we've all seen the anesthesia-induced coming out stories. So I wanna be ready for the possibility of accidentally coming out as ace. I need ace puns. If I'm coming out in a fit of drug-induced honesty, it might as well be funny. Ideas?

Oh I hope this answer isn’t too late!! If it is, I hope your surgery went well. Here’s some good ace puns:

It’s getting colder, better bundle up so you don’t turn into an ACEicle! 

What do you call it when an ace appreciates someone’s appearance? ACEthetic attraction

How many aces does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they’d rather not screw

What’s it called when two aces hug? An embrACE

I’m a member of the AVENgers

What does the introverted ace want the most? SolACE

Where does an ace live? a palACE

What does a sex repulsed ace do when faced with the idea of sex? grimACE

When aces hold hands they interlACE their fingers 

What did the aromantic asexual say when asked about their sexuality? Straight as an aro, ace

Why are aces good ninjas? They can leave without a trACE! 

I’ve got an ace up my sleeve… it’s me

I ace everything I do even when I fail it

-Sarah

fun ways for the show to show that simon lewis isnt straight

(without upsetting canon)

  • a casual mention of a past boyfriend
  • a pun
  • clary mentioning a past boyfriend
  • simon saying “btw im pan”
  • a pun about pans
  • someone talking about being attracted to Jace and simon saying “same”
  • Congratulating alec on having such a good first boyfriend and continuing to tell him about his first boyfriend
  • casual mention of a boyfriend followed by “I’m pan i thought that was obvious” followed by a flashback to all of simons many gay moments
  • a gathering of the gang where simon says “oh btw i have a crush on every single one of you”
  • pointing at a pan saying “me”
  • Congratulating Alec on his epic coming out and continuing to tell him about his own coming out
  • kissing a random boy at a club
  • Sitting his sister down to tell her about being a vampire but she misunderstands and says “simon you already came out as pan remember?”
  • casual mention of a crush on a boy
  • saying “oh god remember when i thought was straight”
  •  “i cant believe i ever thought i was straight”
  •  “straight people are so weird”
  • “i dont understand the straights tbh”
  • going to a clave meeting and saying “wow i have never been in a room with so many straight people this is exhausting”
  • have him enter the room banging pans together shouting “DID YOU KNOW IM NOT STRAIGHT”
  • Chanting “any gender im a fan, did i mention im totally pan”

the-hoodie-of-hope  asked:

Ok, so i'm planning on coming out to my parents as pan next tuesday, (pancake day) and I need some good puns. Just to break the ice. A simple definition/explanation of pansexuality might help too, thanks!

Definition - “A person who is sexually interested in other people regardless of gender”


Puns: Pansexuals don’t come out of the closet. We come out of the cupboard.

That’s fantastic, Or should I say, PAN-tastic

I didn’t come out of the closet, I came out of the PANtry


How to come out of the closet in pun form

paulslut:

You: What a beautiful gay.
Friend: What?
You: I mean day, I’m the beautiful gay.
Or
You: I got a pan.
Friend: That’s a bowl.
You: Oh I’m the pan!
Or
Hide in a closet and when someone finds you run out screaming “IM QUEER”

PromPosal- Theo Raeken

Prompt: Y/N has been rejected by three guys and finally her crush for prom. She is in tears. Devastated. The last thing she suspected was for the notorious bad boy, Theo Raeken, to ask her to prom.

Warnings: Rejection, other than that I can’t think of anything.

Author’s note: Should I write a part two for prom?

This was the last straw. I can’t believe Y/C/N rejected me for prom. I wasn’t expecting him to say yes, but I was hoping he would. That was so embarrassing. I ripped the poster I made for the promposal I did for him. God, I can’t believe I made a fucking poster. I’m so stupid.

Tears swelled up as I threw the poster into the garbage. At least I wasn’t stupid enough to ask him to prom in front of everyone. I then walked to the staircase and sat down. I started to cry even more letting out my emotions. I curled myself in a ball and continued to cry, this hurt so much. I guess being rejected by the guy you’ve like for the past year would hurt.

Suddenly there was a tape on my shoulder. I sniffled and looked up. There right above me, was Theo Raeken, as in the hot bad boy of the school Theo Raeken. I quickly wiped my tears and whispered “Uh, hi?”
“Are you okay?” He asked me. I forced a smile and said “Yeah, I’m fine.” He shook his head and sat down with me. He then stated “You’re not fine.” I lightly laughed and rhetorically asked “What gave it away?” I then wiped away more tears. I brought my knees closer to my chest as he asked me “So, what happened?” I shrugged and said “I-I got rejected by someone I really liked for prom. I did this whole poster and everything, he still said no.” He sucked in a breath and said “Damn that sucks.”
“What sucks even more is that I’m going to see him first period everyday and be reminded of it. God, I was so stupid!” He put his hand on my shoulder and said “Hey, you’re not stupid. It took some balls to do that. Besides, he’s stupid.” I turned to him and asked “Why is he stupid?”
“He’s stupid to turn down such a beautiful girl like you.” I blushed and looked away. This is the first time a guy has called me beautiful. He lightly grabbed my face and turned it towards him, he wiped away my tears and said “Don’t let a stupid guy make you cry.” -

Yesterday’s chat with Theo was making me feel better. We talked some more and then the bell rang and we had to go our separate ways. He offered to walk me to class but I politely declined.

Anyways, it’s a new day and I’m gonna try to move on from Y/C/N. It sucks that I have class with him right now, it sucks even more that I sit next to him but I’ll get over it. I walked into class and took my seat next to him. He didn’t say a word to me and I didn’t say anything to him, this is so awkward.

The teacher droned on and on with the lesson, all I could think about is how I embraced myself so much yesterday. Then there was a knock at the door, the teacher said “One moment students.” He then went to the door. I just sat silently waiting for the lesson to start again, but then Theo walked in with a box. I looked at him quizzically as he stared directly at me and smirked. He then opened the box and inside was five roses, and on each one of them there was a post-it. All of the post-it’s together spelt ‘PROM?’ I honestly couldn’t stop smiling. He said “I’m not that good at prom puns, so I thought I just go simple. Do you wanna go to prom with me Y/N?” I smiled even more if that was possible. I quickly got up and walked towards him and said “Yes of course! Oh my god, this is wonderful!” I then hugged him and he hugged me back. I pulled away and said “Thank you.”
“I should be thanking you for saying yes, now I get to go to prom with a beautiful girl.” Then there were ‘aww’s’ coming from the class. I blushed and looked down. Damn, I could get use to him calling me beautiful. I then turned around and said “Y/C/N, can you take a picture of us?” He looked a little surprised about everything but he said “Uh, yeah, sure.” I then gave him my phone and he took a few pictures of us. This day ended up great.

Originally posted by teenwolf--imagines

When Nicky and Matt become friends after the girls graduate, Nicky makes all kind of puns with his name.

“Here comes my Boyd!”

“Hey, pretty Boyd!”

“Oh, Boyd.”

“You’re such an innocent little Boyd.”

“Nicky, I swear, one more pun and I’ll do something horrible that I never thought I would. I won’t help you next time you find a spider in our room! Seriously!”

“Matt, I’m sorry to tell you this, but we all know you won’t. You’re too much of a good Boyd!”

(Matt’s proposition lasts three minutes the next time a spider gets into their room)

anonymous asked:

Could you do Corrin asking the royal boys + Shigure to be their valentines for the first time?


Leo: You want to do something that’s not something he’ll laugh at. Cookies…you’ll burn. Flowers–he might be allergic…a letter? He might point out your spelling errors. You’re venting about just how to figure this out to a trusted comrade, not knowing that Leo just happens to be around the corner and listening to all of this.

He waits for you to approach him all day–and it’s only right before bed that you do. You don’t go with a note, or a gift, or a treat of any kind. Just you and yourself. You have your fists balled up in determination as you confess to him.

He looks a little serious, and then walks over to ruffle your hair. “Of course–was that so hard, silly ____? You should know by now I would accept. I’m not difficult, you know.”

“I doubt that last bit,” you mutter under your breath, and he tugs your cheek playfully. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Leo,” you say sweetly, and kiss his cheek to distract him from any complaining on your part.


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3

STILL TECHNICALLY VALENTINES DAY 

as before, click through to see the dirtier jokes I chose not to use because I have Some Control but not enough to avoid sharing them entirely 

also as before, much thanks to @amarguerite  for some of the jokes, especially the Flautist thing! which would work better if I could draw a flute but OH WELL

also do you know how difficult it is to find a nudge-nudge wink wink like for Bahorel when all his dialogue is just so…blatant…like how can I find you a pun when you’re just coming on to the street my dude… 

Sing for Me

Originally posted by taesyong

Pairing: Taeil x reader
Genre: fluff, barista!au 
Warnings: none
Word count: 1,473 


Truth be told, you were never the type to be overly crazy over coffee. Yes, you liked it and it came in handy when you needed some extra energy to finish a project or even binge watch a couple of seasons of your favorite show. But you were never the type of person that couldn’t function without it. 

That was until your friend had dragged you all the way to this secluded little coffee shop that you had to try. The interior was very nice, the lighting low casting a yellowy light in the room, making it look warm and cozy. A big old jukebox rested against the brick walls, with a big stack of vinyls next to it. Instead of chairs, there were small brown loveseats, that really added to the homey feeling of the cafe. And your friend was right, their coffee was great and so was their chocolate cake. 

However, that was not the reason you kept going there. You had set your eyes on the cute yet mysterious barista. All you knew about him was that his name was Taeil and that he never smiled, not once. Even when you told him tragic coffee puns, his lips wouldn’t even twitch. So you were set on getting him to smile and maybe ask him out on a date too. Whenever you went there alone you always sat on one of the stools at the bar, pestering the good looking barista but only getting short or one worded replies.

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  • Yang: Hey Blake, wanna do it?
  • Blake: No.
  • Yang: Yes?
  • Blake: No.
  • Yang: Come on! I wanna see Xiao Long you can last!
  • Both: ...
  • (Later)
  • Blake: Are you gonna keep making puns when you ask about sex!?
  • Yang: NO!
  • Blake: PROMISE ME!
  • Yang: PUT THE SWORD DOWN!
  • Blake: I SAID PROMISE!
  • Yang: AHHH! YES! I PROMISE! JUST GET THE SHARP OBJECT AWAY FROM MY GENITALIA!
  • Blake: Good, glad we could come to an understanding.
  • Yang: Oh, we can come to something alright- OW! YOU JUST STABBED ME!
  • Blake: Shut up and let's do it before I get bored.
  • Yang: Yes sir!
Thursday Night (May 7th Domestic +Justice League)

“We shouldn’t be doing this.” Raven said almost too quietly to hear.

“Raven you say that every time,” Cyborg replied as he opened the door for her “but every Thursday you’re here with me.”  

“Victor, this still feels wrong.” her voice still muted.

“Raven we both love this and you know it, we are not going to stop. ”

“Garfield is going to find out, what would he think of me?”

“Raven you don’t think he already knows? ” He asked putting his large hand on top of her delicate one.  You have needs and he wouldn’t want you to go without them"  

“Um are you ready to order?”  The waitress asked a slightly confused from the exchange she just witnessed.  

“Oh, sorry. I will have a full rack of the Saint Louis, fries and the baked beans. ” Cyborg replied  

“The Baby backs, baked potato, and the cold slaw please. ” she said as she handed the menu to the waitress. “What were those small things we had last time?”

“Burn ends” Cyborg’s human eye lit up. “Can we get an order of those for the table please” he asked the waitress.  She polity nodded and left to put in their orders.  

“Burnt ends too? You must be hungry” he said before reaching into a basket on the table.

“Since I started my second trimester I can’t remember when I wasn’t she said her gaze lowered to the table.  "Garfield is going to the store almost every day” a hint of embarrassment in her words.

“With that kind of appetite, it must be his kid, still I would think you would be craving wheat germ or something not hickory and molasses” He said between bites of cornbread.

"You really think Garfield knows?” She asked playing with her fingers as if they were not properly attached to her hands.

“He texted me twenty minutes ago to have fun on my date with his wife.” he said as he leaned back on his chair laughing. “So how is lean, green and soon to be a Daddy?”

“You talk to him as much as I do.”

“That’s just Xbox, mostly us trash talking and jabbing each other in game.  Things don’t get too deep when there monsters that need killing. ”

A small smile formed on her lips as she remembered admonishing her husband’s language a few nights before. Beast Boy yelling into the microphone of his headset with Victor on the other end.  "Garfield! You are not going to talk like that around the Baby.” Before he got a chance to respond Victor started laughing so hard that the sound escaped the headphones and into the room.  

“Yes, I have heard your…discussions”  

An easy and warm laugh rose out of Cyborg. “I will try not to rile him up so much when the baby comes” he said grabbing another piece of cornbread from the table.  

Raven had missed that laugh. These meetings were more than satisfying pregnancy cravings for smoked meat. It was good to sit with her adopted brother again. The food came and between bites they reminisced about old times, and traded stories about his new adventures with the JLA, and hers with motherhood and marriage.  

“Is he still is trying to put it together?” He asked leaning back in his chair.

“When I left, he was on his fourth attempt I think,” Raven remembering Beast Boy struggling with the dozens of wood pieces scattered all over the floor. “he is getting closer the crib stood up right for almost 5 minutes before it collapsed.”  

“I can come by Sunday, and see if I can salvage it, that is if Darkside doesn’t attack or Luthor decides not to go golfing this weekend”

“There maybe take out Chinese in it for you if you could also help with the stroller, and maybe the car seat?”

“Your loving hubby is no good with his hands.”

“Oh, yes he is, just not in that way” a small smirk curled her lips.

“Beast Boy is rubbing off on you” he groaned out, trying to push away the mental image.  

“I know, and no one is more disturbed by that then me.  I will be making bad puns any day now, the price you pay for love. ” Raven said running her hand over her belly.

“Well I hope the bambino takes after her mother.”

“His” she corrected “We found out two days ago”  

Cyborgs smile split his face. “AH! Now I know what kind of toys to get!”

“Victor, we don’t want to spoil him”

“You’re not going to. That’s his uncle’s job. ” He said pointing both thumbs at himself.

Cyborg’s and Raven’s relationship was always unique in the group. Maybe it was there bisected natures her being half demon and him being half machine. Maybe it was the fact that no matter happened his priority was the team.  It was times like these that reminded them both about that first meeting.

“I don’t exactly fit in.” She said all those years ago.
He replied “He’s green, half of me is metal, and she’s from space. You fit in just fine.”  Cyborg was the first person ever that made her feel accepted.  It was a start of a long road that lead her to loyal friends, a loving husband, a family.  She would not have any of it, if Cyborg hadn’t put his large hand on her shoulder that night long ago.


I did a head cannon a while ago for @teentitansheadcanons #5276  http://teentitansheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/143610997676 Did I have any of you jumping to wrong conclusion in the beginning? 

Eyes of Intelligence

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Request: I was wondering could you do a one shot with Reader x Sam where The Reader finds an injured wolf (who is Sam stuck in full wolf form because of a magic curse), so she takes it home to look after it. While at the reader’s house Sam falls in love with her and is worried about how to tell her and what she’ll think when he changes back and finds out about the supernatural and what he is. Thanks 😉 hope that’s not too confusing haha

Warnings: Wolf!Sam??? A touch of angst, fluff.

Word Count: 1,362

A/N: I feel like this is kind of boring, but for some reason I love it so much. Please feel free to leave feedback and enjoy!

Originally posted by rpvisualosities

Originally posted by out-in-the-open

The forest was pitch black and slightly terrifying. Under normal circumstances you wouldn’t have been out there but the sounds of an animal in pain made you continue forward. Walking deeper into the forest you swept your flash light from side to side trying see as much as possible. Out of the corner of your eye you saw the reflection of eyes looking at you. Quickly turning, you pointed the flashlight in that direction. What you saw broke your heart. A wolf was lying on the ground with an open wound on its back. Cautiously approaching you knelt down and tried to get a closer look at the wound. It didn’t look infected but if it wasn’t treated soon it would be. The wolf watched you with wary eyes, there was an intelligence in its eyes that surprised you.

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-TideTale:Two Nuts And A Screw- Chapter 4

!!WARNING!!
This fanfiction will contain spoilers for UnderTale, TideTale, MechaTale and TideTale:102. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!
Also, there’s violence, potentially disturbing content, explicit language and SPOILERS.
Yes, I know I’ve said that already, but seriously.


UnderTale and its characters belong to Toby Fox

Mecha!Sans belongs to @wolf-wrathknight

Fabulous!Youmna and Color!Sans belong to @superyoumna

META and the SoulEater belong to @idariddle (me)


The Procedure and its tragic remnants

“Say. What if I told you… I knew some way to get you a better ending?”

“Yeah, whatever, tumbleweed. Can we just skip the small talk and get on the fucking Pacifist  Route?”

Flowey eyed META, peeved by her insulting manner.

“Sure, whatever, freak. Have fun not being able to enjoy the game anymore because you’re dead inside”

“Speak for yourself, Caesar Salad. I kicked your ass in every playthrough since I started. Now fuck off and let us through”

The little golden flower scowled, stuck his tongue out at them and then ran for it.

“He really doesn’t like you, does he?” Color asked, shaking his head, but META laughed.

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Three Months

Fandom: Fairy Tail

Pairing: Graylu

Rated: T

Summary: Fresh out of a bad relationship, Lucy lashed out at the one person she needed the most. Fate was a funny thing-and Lucy quickly learned to never leave things unsaid. 

Word count: 3850

Written for Graylu-Angst week! sorry if there isn’t enough angst it’s more hurt/comfort and based off a few prompts, e.g., stars, guilt/regret/apology

I actually struggled so much with this I usually don’t struggle with angst.

Hope you guys enjoy!

Happy ending?? Read to find out ;)


She’d always loved the stars.

They were a constant companion of hers, always there for her when she got lonely. She would gaze up and find her favourite constellations, tracing them out with a finger, smiling as she watched them twinkle.

But now she found it hard to look at them.

They no longer gave her peace. They gave her sorrow, because they reminded her of him. And that made her sad, yes, but more than anything it made her angry.

She’d never shared her love of stars with anyone the way she had with him. And he went and messed it all up. He’d manipulated her, cheated on her, and worst of all, he’d said he loved her.

She wiped away the tears that started to fall from her eyes as she looked out her window, the stars especially bright tonight. A sob ripped through her chest, unable to stop it now that it started. She was hurt—she had trusted him. Loved him. Opened herself up to him.

But no more.

Lucy rose from her window sill, almost numb as she gathered up her coat and bag, needing fresh air. She couldn’t stay in her room. Couldn’t be surrounded by a constant reminder of him—of them.

Slamming her door behind her, she walked to the nearby park, almost as if on autopilot. She didn’t want to feel anymore. She didn’t want to think. Briefly, she thought it was probably cold out, but she couldn’t bring herself to care.

She sat down on the park bench, bringing her legs up to cross them, tilting her head to the sky.

How she longed to look at the stars and not feel the pain in her heart. The stars were the only thing left she had of her mother. And now she couldn’t even have that.

She groaned, pulling at her hair as she sobbed, tears streaming down her face, stinging her cheeks from the cold. She wanted to scream, to let everything out and to try to find some peace.

So she did.

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starshipkiller  asked:

2ps reaction to s/o getting in a fight and getting their asses kicked (ps I freaking LOVE LOVE LOVE your blog!!! Xoxo)

Mmmmm thank you darling :’D

2P Italy: awh, darling, come here, let me put a bandage on that, oh, goodness….. *incredibly kind and helpful to his s/o, even though there’s an angry Italian hurricane going on in his mind……three hours later, whoever beat up his s/o is either dead or in the hospital with life-threatening, irreversible injuries*

2P Germany: lol don’t worry babe, I’ll make sure they never hurt you again *starts randomly sticking band aids all over his s/o (which doesn’t exactly help) and keeps making dirty jokes and shitty puns until they’re in even more pain from laughing so hard*

2P Japan: *makes them tell him who did this* tch. how bothersome….well, follow me…. *leads them to the bathroom, prepares a bubble bath for them, puts a laptop on top of the toilet so they can watch Netflix while they bathe….then he goes online and sends salty anonymous hate to whoever beat up his s/o*

2P Romano: AAAAAAAAAAA WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE OMG YOU LOOK HIDEOUS *shrieks for 20 minutes about how terrible they look….eventually tries to help clean them up but quite possibly faints from seeing blood*

2P Prussia: *makes some kind of weird squeaking noise before he sprints away to get a first-aid kit*

2P France: what the hell happened to you *doesn’t help them or anything, but at least he listens to them rant for as long as they want about whoever beat them up*

2P America: *loudly squints* who thE FUCK HURT YOU OMFG BITCHES GONNA DIE TONIGHT *pulls a baseball bat outta nowhere and continues to rant for an hour about how whoever hurt them will be bludgeoned*

2P Canada: *sighs for 6 years* ……..jeeeeeesus fucking christ, sit down, I’ll get the first aid kit……

2P England: ohhhhhhhhhhhhh dear, ohhh dear, what on earth happened to you, poppet???!??!!! did that mean old cat down the street attack you??? no??? wait, you’re telling me that another person purposely hurt you?!??!??!?! TELL ME THEIR NAME *he makes his s/o tell him who it was….then he somehow finds that person’s phone number and calls them. When they pick up the phone, he whispers, “may your brownies always turn out soggy”*

2P China: *pffffft he fucking turns the whole situation into an opportunity to flirt* awh kitten come here lemme help you *gets a wet cloth and leans in really close to their face while he dabs at wounds*

2P Russia: *after he has sufficiently helped bandage his s/o’s wounds, he goes into a three hour long rant about how violence will be the downfall of society*