oh come on that was a good pun

OTP Quotes Challenge

A belated celebration for reaching 5000+ followers! Here we have a list of random quotes for you to use for your OTP! You can have followers tell you numbers to draw your OTP as, or you can write stories based on your favorites, or both! Take these quotes in any direction you like for your creative use. Have fun!

  1. “Aah! That tickles!”
  2. “whAT IS THAT?!”
  3. “woah what happened while I was gone”
  4. “wait no that’s mine what are you doing”
  5. “No, I’m paying”
  6. “It’s fine, stop worrying about me”
  8. “Come over here— oh crap no don’t fall— why does this always happen”
  9. “just tAKE THE JACKET”
  10. “I’m so hungry I could eat a— stop looking at me like that in public”
  11. “Well, that was certainly awkward”
  13. “are… are you awake? Did you fall asleep already”
  14. “great, what did you bring home this time?”
  15. “I don’t know why you don’t like this outfit on you. You look splendid.”
  16. “aaah I can’t stop blushing… No you’re not helping at all”
  17. “I can’t believe they spelled your name wrong again”
  19. “I can’t… I can’t believe you actually remembered…”
  20. “Put some clothes on already, jeez! We have company coming!”
  21. “okay, and how much money did you spend on that thing?”
  22. “I wish we could stay here forever”
  23. “who was that? oh… your cousin…”
  24. “You okay? You seem a little off today”
  25. “I’m fine
  26. “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
  27. “c-can I hold your hand?..”
  29. “oh, remember when you used to wear that all the time? Good times.”
  30. “you can’t run so it’ll be faster if I just carry you”
  31. “You don’t need to tell me— I’ve memorized your order by now”
  32. “y-you look… you look very nice.”
  33. “did that person just take a picture of us?”
  34. “c’mon, let’s dance!”
  36. “oh, we are not letting you drive when you’re like this”
  37. “you’re a nerd. but my favorite nerd.”
  38. “why do you find those cute I hate those pictures of myself”
  39. “you’re very warm… It’s nice.”
  40. “You know what? I wasn’t even surprised by that. I’m that used to you.”
  41. “Wait, stay right there— I’ve got a song for you”
  42. “oh thank goodness… I didn’t think you’d still be here.”
  43. “You don’t have to do this if you’re scared”
  45. “I can’t believe you actually bought that”
  46. “that… that was a lot different than I thought it’d be”
  48. “let’s pretend I didn’t see you do that”
  49. “You’re too sweet”
  50. “ah, you’re up. how’d you sleep?”
Types as people I've met irl (ENFP pov)

Saw several posts about this & thought it would be a cool thing to do

- least judgmental person /ever/
- loves going on exciting trips
- “do u want me to do the dishes?”
- if they’re with someone who’s good with puns they suddenly come up with great material, if they’re with a physically affectionate person they’ll return the affection whole heartedly
- is actually pretty straightforward about opinions but never in a rude way

- can’t say no
- unbeknownst to many is actually pretty self conscious
- “oh gosh why did I do that!!” regrets, regrets, regrets
- 100% night owl
- Let’s Talk About Our Insecurities™
- they have crazy energy spikes & then retreat into a shell to recharge

- usually has a bunch of good friends that are of the opposite sex
- gets offended over the stupidest things
- the one who calms you down and tells you everything will be OK
- in love with bromance
- “I can’t I’m super busy with work I literally don’t even have 5 minutes I don’t think I’ll sleep tonight!!” *leaves on spontaneous trip to the woods for 4 days with no reception*

- will introduce you to some of the best places/experiences
- music taste on point
- “let me tell u why this person will never get anywhere”
- actually pretty successful out in the real world
- surprisingly very judgmental
- great jokes

- hair, makeup, outfit, purse, everything must be perfect
- amazing cook
- d a n c i n g when no one’s watching
- takes a while to open up, but when they do it’s like a whole other world
- will drop their friends when they get into a romantic relationship

- the person with the most shocking sense of humor
- does things that at times aren’t socially acceptable
- can be surprisingly introspective
- super blunt
- is actually a cat whisperer

- they’re actually super funny????
- smart conversationalists
- if they hate you, you prolly don’t know it
- fine with school, and in some cases actually like it
- never get emotional

- yearn for change, will make important life decisions on a whim sometimes
- deep & intimate late night conversations
- will go on an adventure w/ u @ midnight
- need lots of love & encouragement
- big dreams but have a fear they’ll never achieve them

- Rebellious™
- love things like rock climbing and hiking
- feel more affection for their kitty than for people lol
- will be pissed if u knock on their window at 5 am but will still get up and do ur hair for u bc u need it for a photoshoot bc inside they are truly fuzzballs
- lots of boyfriends/girlfriends

- will see that you’re feeling down and will shower you with love & gifts
- super expressive in facial expressions
- if they talk to you they are pretty open about the people they don’t like
- super involved in everything
- has a really fun childlike side

- believes in you when you don’t
- replies to compliments with “I know.”
- “you can do better”
- prolly smarter than you
- spunky
- volunteers bc they have the desire to help people less fortunate than them

You are so very loved. Here is a card from your friends in Tokyo~

Click and zoom for a better view, or check under the cut for the written messages! ^^

Keep reading

“Bruce...sucks” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The women of the League are teasing you about the love bites that litter your body….

I already kinda had the idea of doing a similar story on the women side…So here we go. Last time the guys of the League were mocking Bruce for the scratches on his back (you can read that here), now, it’s Batmom’s turn (though I feel it’s not as funny as the other, I tried something else you know, so that the stories wouldn’t be exactly the same, too similar and shit…erf, whatever, hope it’s kinda ok). Hope you’ll like it (insecuritiesoverloadbutitsok) 

WARNING FOR LANGAGE and slightly NSFW, just slightly. Also, My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com


It wasn’t really part of your initial plan to shower at the same time than them. Bruce told you about his friends trying to tease him about the nail marks you left on his body after a heated night, and you were afraid that your girl friends would do the same, a bit paranoid about it really…

But then you thought about the fact that usually, women tended to be a bit more mature about that (maybe?), that they would probably behave and ignore the hundreds (literally) love bites on your body. 

Besides, there was only Diana, Zatanna and Dinah, surely, they wouldn’t say anything, after all, they were used to Bruce being affectionate towards you when he thought no one was watching, small love bites wouldn’t shock them or anything. They were your three best friends, they knew how to not intrude too much in your life. They would definitely not talk about the marks your husband left on your body. 

And oh you were so wrong. 

You were in your underwear when you started to notice their smirks, and the way they whispered in each other’s ears while looking at you. No…could it be ?

You turn around, and when Diana’s eyes go wide at the sight of the love bites on your front while Zatanna and Dinah just start laughing stupidly, you know you actually were right to “fear” a reaction from them. You roll your eyes and give them your best “really ?” facial expression before saying :

-Are you guys snickering like idiots because of the love bites ? 

Zatanna answers your question :

-No, we’re snickering like idiots because Bruce…

And then it happens. The worst pun you ever heard in your life (and you were used to Dick and Tim’s nerdy jokes). All three of them yell : 


Stun. That’s what you are. Wow. Even worst that the poor attempt from your male friend in the league to embarrass Bruce. An awful pun. 

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

can i request a ten, taeyong, and haechan neighbour au?? hehe i really love your writing a lot < 3

ten’s birthday is next week, so here’s a kind of early gift to all you ten stans!!
and of course, taeyong and haechan stans~(´・` )♡
find mark + jaehyun (here)


  • definitely,,,,,, loud
  • he throws parties on the weekends and practices guitar on the weekdays while also getting REALLY R E A L L Y into nba 2k17,,,,,,
  • especially if johnny comes over like the two of them cannot shuttup and neighbors always have to go over and be like “quiet down” and johnny apologizes while ten just sneers and is like “YEAH JOHNNY WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD” and johnny is like “i swear once this door is closed-”
  • but he’s FUN,,,,,like there is not denying that he’s an entertaining, amusing, and great person like why else would his apartment be basically filled to the brim with people who he probably doesn’t even know all that well
  • yeah the snacks,,,,,but also like?? ten makes great jokes, he’s good at making everyone feel comfortable, and his dancing: a+
  • he’s the whole package,,,,,,,,,even though his place is a mess monday morning and he has to practically beg taeyong and jaehyun to come over and help him clean
  • and he once tried to ask hansol and hansol was like “you brought this on yourself lolololol” and the proceeded to hang up on him whenever ten tried to call him back (real friends are like this tbh)
  • speaking of which ten has ,,,,, like no idea how to keep his things organized,,,,,,,,because he has so much stuff like every time he leaves his house he’s wearing a brand new outfit 
  • and everyone is like bro you spend way too much money on clothes,,,,,why do you need so much and ten is like Firstly: it’s fashion you Wouldn’t Get It,,,,,,,,secondly someone stole some of my pants from my last party ok leave it alone
  • but his apartment itself is pretty cool, like somehow he got mark to ask renjun to come over and paint on his wall and it turned out really cool and ten’s the type to have fancy stuff for no reason like did you really need to buy a lamp that looks like a chandelier and ten is like yeah i did bye
  • cute lil secret: he keeps letters from his parents back in thailand in a shoebox in his locked closet so it’s safe because it’s the one thing he refuses to lose,,,,,,,,,,,
  • but you know ten if not because you have to listen to the music he blasts at each of his parties and him yell at his friends when they play games but also,,,,,,,,,on multiple occasions
  • ten has come to you for help
  • with many,,,,,,,,,,different,,,,,,,,thing
  • one of the most common is he always ends up needing a place to crash for the night because someone else fell asleep in his bed,,,,,,and his couch,,,,,,,,and on his floor. then there was the time he woke up with his head in a bowl of uneaten ramen and the noodles had gotten stuck in his ear piercings and you had to get them out while ten cried about how gross that was,,,,,and of course the most famous: ten gets tipsy and Emotional and you,,,,,,,well
  • you listen to him
  • mind you in the morning when he’s all better ten is just like “hEY thanks for letting me cry and ,,,,,,,,, stuff let’s never talk about this again!!!!”
  • and you feel bad because ,,,,,,,lmao you’re just his neighbor who also knows his deepest insecurities and fears and it’s like????? you never have the heart to get mad at him for knocking on your door at 2 am
  • but also,,,,,,you like then ten that is open with his feelings. the ten that cuddles into your arm face first and mumbles that you’re so sweet to him, so kind
  • but when ten,,,,,,is being his loud, fun self he’s not exactly that person
  • until you end up being the one in need of help,,,,,knocking on ten’s door at some odd hour and he opens it, shocked to see you and you’re like
  • “where is your alcohol stash,,,,,,,,give it it to me” and ten slows you down by catching you around the waist and he’s like “are you o-?” and you’re like NOPE IM NOT ,,,,,,give me,,,,,,,,,the,,,,,,,,drinks 
  • but ten isn’t letting you go and he’s like “sit down, tell me whats up” and you grumble that it doesn’t matter, trying to hide behind your hair a bit so he can’t see that you had been crying 
  • but ten just shakes his head and he’s like “c’mon,,,,,i know you listen to me when i come sobbing over to you,,,,,,tell me what it is”
  • and you’re like “ten,,,,,,,,,,,do you even see me as a friend? or am i just the closest person near you when you have to complain?” 
  • and it’s quiet and ten kind of looks at you, but then he gently pokes the center of your forehead and he’s like “of course you’re my friend,,,,,,to be honest,,,,,,,ive always thought of you as more than that. to me,,,,like i want,,,,,,,want you to be more than a friend but,,,,,,,i know you don’t feel that way so i just wanted to be close to you,,,,,,,,”
  • and for the first time you’re hearing ten stutter over his words (when he’s not drunk) and you’re like “wait wait wait stop”
  • and you put your finger to his lips and he’s like ??? and you’re like
  • “you want me to be more than your friend?” and ten is like ,,,,,,,, “how,,,,,,,,,well,,,,,,let me say it like this it’s hard not to fall for the person who pulled ramen out of my earrings for me.”
  • and you’re blinking a bit, completely forgetting the thing that made you upset because wait. is ten confessing??????
  • and you’re like “so you like me?” and he’s like “yes, i like you. i thought bothering you all the time made that obvious”
  • and you’re like aljfkddkskre it didnt,,,,,,and ten is like “huh, did you also not hear when johnny screamed ‘GO CONFESS TO THE PERSON NEXT DOOR THAT YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH THEM YOU IDIOT’???”
  • and you’re like holy shit no i missed that too
  • and ten is like,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,how


  • the model neighbor 
  • as in he looks like an actual model, and is also super clean and quiet and ??? just very overly polite like he just wants people to like him ya know?????
  • he’s barely home because he’s always over at his friends houses doing their chores because they never want to,,,,,,like when taeyong explained that you have to change your bedsheets at least every three weeks ten dam near had a heart attack because he was like “ive been sleeping on just my mattress for the past 7 months” and taeyong was like HOW ARE YOU A PERSON
  • taeyong loves cute stationary, and cute mugs, and owns an apron with little kitten embroidered on the side and those hanging plants that he decorated his bedroom with and idk he’s got like,,,,,,a clock that looks like a sunflower
  • like taeyong,,,,,,,,is just a boy who loves things that make his apartment more adorable and clean
  • owns every cleaning product imaginable and dedicated a whole closet to them
  • the type to have labels on all his cupboards and shelves and you open his refrigerator and everything is labeled it’s like,,,,,,how does he have the damn nerve to do this
  • also: uses coasters for his drink because he gets anxious about drinks spilling onto his rug
  • but yeah other than that,,,,he’s kinda awkward around most people,,,,but he does his best to smile and come off sweet
  • and you’ve seen him,,,,,,lugging home like three different brands of detergent and a new mop every week and you’re like huh so he’s super,,,,,,like,,,,,,,into cleaning
  • which you’re like is fine but you,,,,,after only recently moving in,,,,hasn’t even unpacked half your things yet and everytime your friends from your original hometown call you’re like (—: im an adult. my apartment is nice and sparkly and im doing fine
  • (this is a lie. you’ve been living off fast-food and half your stuff is still in boxes)
  • which is why when your best friend says she’ll be visiting tomorrow you’re like HOLD UP
  • and you know just the person to go a solicit help from. taeyong
  • and when you knock on his door he’s like surprised because you two have never held a solid conversation
  • and he is like “oh hello, i know we’ve never properly-”
  • and you’re like “you have 309458 mops right. you got a duster,,,,,,thing,,,,,,,,right”
  • and he’s like “feather duster?” and you’re like YEAH THAT,,,,,,,listen i need help now
  • and when you explain that you (being the lazy person we ALL are) didn’t unpack or clean or do anything and your friend is coming tomorrow and you don’t want to look like a Failure of an Adult in front of her,,,,,,,well taeyong kind of looks at you and is like 
  • “,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,fine ill get the swivel sweeper”
  • and you guys spend like 7 hours getting your things unpacked and taeyong is really good at like????? decorating and he’s like “OH i have the peRFECT thing”
  • and he runs over to his place and comes back holding this cute like paper weight in the shape of like a giraffe and he puts it on your desk and you’re like “,,,,,,,,,,what is that” and he’s like “are you really an adult?”
  • but he helps you a lot and it’s kind of fun, he has like,,,,,,,,a really nice laugh you made a pun about like cleaning and he almost fell over laughing it was really,,,,,,,,,,cute
  • and once you’re done you’re like how should i thank you
  • and he’s like “it’s fine, you don’t have to!!”
  • and you’re like,,,,,,,,,,but i should but he’s like really no it’s nothing
  • but even after he leaves,,,,,,you’re like this is mean he worked so hard for me
  • and it bugs you, even after you friend comes over and is like WOW this place is so clean im impressed
  • that you end up going out and buying one of those cute little home humidifiers and you’re like “this seems taeyong-ish”
  • and you knock on his door again and he’s like “oh!!! do you need to borrow my mo-” and you’re like “here!!!!!! it’s a small gift,,,,,,but i thought you might like it,,,,,,,,,,,,,”
  • and he looks down at the bag and he gets super duper red and he’s like “i,,,,,,,,i can’t accept this,,,,,,,it’s too much,,,,,,”
  • and you’re like ashofvd you spent SIX HOURS cleaning my house for me pleASE 
  • and finally you manage to get taeyong to take the gift and you’re like “anyway,,,,,,,,,,seriously thank you”
  • and taeyong kind of hesitates but he’s like
  • “do you,,,,,,,,,,,,wanna come inside,,,,,,,,,i don’t usually let people over but,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,”
  • and you’re like huh oh sure!!! and ok his house looks like a palace there isn’t any dirt anywhere
  • and when he makes you a cup of tea there’s like little cute bears on the mug and you’re looking at the cup and at taeyong’s beautiful face and you
  • can’t help but giggle and he’s going red again like,,,,,,,am i funny?? are you laughing at me??
  • and you’re like “no no no you’re just so,,,,,,,,,,much cuter than i expected!!”
  • and taeyong damn near falls over,,,,,,,you called him CUTE?!?!?! and you’re like “i didn’t think someone so chic would be into little cute animals” and taeyong is like im not,,,,,,chic,,,,,,,,plus animals are so,,,,,adorable right
  • and you’re like omg taeyong you i should have gotten you a big stuffed bear and he’s like aGHDSd no,,,,,,i love what you got me don’t worry about it
  • and he’s so cute getting nervous and staring at his lap,,,,,,,you can’t help but wanna lean over and like kiss his face but you don’t 
  • even though tbh taeyong is like,,,,,,,,,i wouldn’t mind being kissed by them,,,,,,,,like in his head LOL


  • thought he was old enough to be totally fine living alone. and he is,,,,,,,except he goes over to everyones house for his meals and got mark’s netflix password so he didn’t have to pay for it himself
  • how many times has yuta lent him his nintendo ds? like 32424234
  • jaehyun is convinced haechan took his ricecooker,,,,,,,,,but he has no way to prove it except that haechan was like “nooo hyung i got this at the mall on sale i promise!!!!” and jaehyun is like “then where did mine disappear to?” and haechan is like thats your problem,,,,so,,,,,,
  • but it’s ok because everyone adores him because if he wants something all he has to do is be a cute kid and bam! he gets it
  • and although he’s a little trickster, and sometimes his hyungs fall into his traps. he shows that he cares for them too
  • and especially for his friends that are younger, like when chenle and jisung come over to hangout haechan will literally be like “if you stay past 10. you have to sleepover. im not letting you go out in the dark.”
  • and he knows how taeyong hates messes so he brought coasters just for him and he always has snacks that he knows mark likes 
  • like YES he can be a bit of ,,,,,,,,,,, a devil but he’s a sweetheart too
  • his apartment isn’t full of too many toys or anything he actually has a pretty mature taste
  • and if anything he just really likes having a space for him to write and think clearly because to me, haechan is really creative and so he’d like a big desk with post-its and books full of ideas,,,,he just comes off that way
  • but he’d have some like cute joke stuff like a really bad photo of johnny framed and on his bookshelf or something LOL
  • also idk why,,,,,,but haechan seems like he’d have a dog,,,,,like a corgi,,,,,or a beagle,,,,,,,,, 
  • anyway you’re really close with haechan because you love love love teasing doyoung and mark and jaehyun 
  • you guys kind of bonded over pulling harmless pranks together 
  • and so for ten’s upcoming birthday you and him decided to make cookies but to fill some up with hot sauce or wasabi just to see ten run around the room arms flailing 
  • but as you know,,,,,,doing anything with haechan can’t be a calm and clean process
  • halfway through you try to feed him some vanilla extract saying it’s melted white chocolate and he tries to get some icing on the side of your face
  • but it’s all fun and games like,,,,,,,you love being in each others company because you guys never get sick of being silly
  • until someone (probably haechan) ends up spilling some of the eggs on the floor and neither of you notice
  • until you slip on your way to the oven and go tumbling backwards
  • and you’re like haechan!!!!!! look out!!!!!
  • but he’s like throwing down the flour he’s holding to outstretch his arms and catch you
  • but it just ends up with both of you on the floor, covered in the eggs and sugar and flour
  • and you’re leaning against haechan whose hit his arm on the counter coming down
  • and you’re like “are you ok????” and haechan is like “no i think im bleeding”
  • and he puts his hand up and you see some red and you’re like HAECHAN oh my god im so sO SOrry let me get a bandage omg do you not have any here let me rip some off this tissue -
  • and then out of nowhere he starts to laugh and you’re like ??????? and he’s like “it’s just some red icing, im fine!!!”
  • and you sit there on the floor, and frown and you’re like “you scared me!!!!! i thought you were hurt,,,,if i had hurt you i don’t know what i-”
  • and haechan can see the sadness in your eyes and automatically his smile falls
  • and he’s like “im sorry, it was a dumb joke why are you so worried about me anyway, you know im indestructible!”
  • and you know he’s playing around but you still take his wrist and turn his arm to make sure he isn’t hiding that he might be really hurt
  • and you’re like “im glad you’re ok,,,,,,,,,,,,”
  • and haechan looks at you, still holding his arm and he’s like
  • “wait,,,,,,,,,,,,,did you get all worried about me like that because maybe,,,,,,,”
  • and you look up wide eyes and you’re like “UH”
  • and haechan is like snapping his fingers like “YOU LIKE ME?”
  • and you’re ike UHHHHHH WHAT SHUT UP NO WAY
  • but haechan is like mimicking your voice and he’s like “you scared me!!!” but then he reaches out and pulls you toward him into a hug
  • and he’s like “seriously, you could have just told me because i like you too!!!!!!”
  • and you’re like haECHAN don’t be playing some kind of joke on me-
  • and he’s like “this isn’t a joke, i promise, for real this time.”
  • and you can’t help but blush and be like “we’re covered in eggs let’s not hug-” but haechan just pushes you closer because like c’mon he totally would 


*He watched in shock as your fist hit the face of his manager. One minute he was moaning at Jongin for his tardiness and lack of enthusiasm for what he was meant to be doing and the next he had blood seeping from his lip. You were shocked you had hit him too but the frustration was clearly too high to handle*

K: “I think we should run off now”

Y/N: “Me too”

Originally posted by kyungception


*You were not in the mood for anyones shit today so it was only natural for anyone testing your patience to be socked in the mouth. Today the poor (but not so poor bc he was being r00d to the king of asia) sod in your line of fire was a trainee who thought it was ok to disrespect your man. Sehun just stood back, hand covering his mouth as he tried not to burst out into laughter. As you walked away he followed you and stared with his kouth wide open pointing at where it just occured*

S: “Wow I can’t believe you just punched him, he is going to tell everyone..I..that was amazing, you really are the best”

Originally posted by blondejongin


*You started a fight with this man because he dissed your man and you weren’t having that AT ALL. You punched him in the arm, brimming with overconfidence and stood back to realise u fucked up. Junmyeon saw the entire scene and knew he had to step in. 

STYLIST: “Is Y/N in another fight over you again?”

JM: “Yeah she is lovesick what can i say, I better go and jump to the defence”

STYLIST: Why do you need to take your top off?”

JM: Because I look good”

Originally posted by lawlliets


*All he heard were the words “Chanyeol hasn’t got a tiny wanger” followed by the screams of someone other than you.

CY: “Jesus christ here we go again”

Originally posted by kkaebsooquishy


*You told him what you did to defend his honour, he didn’t say anything he just got up and walked to his laptop*

Y/N: “What are you doing, I just told you I punched someone and you walk off”

BH: “Well yeah Im looking for dispatch pictures i wanna use it as a meme”

Originally posted by evilkyubiased


*He got all wide eyed when you told him what you did, but then found it rather cute so his smile broke out. It’s not like you liked violence, or much physical movement at all so the fact you wacked someone for him was a bit of an honour really*

Originally posted by smileysoo


*Word had gotten out that you the partner of Kim Jongdae hit a famous actor round the face for saying his hair looked like a sweet potato in Hey Mama. It really wasn’t too serious to him but you were NOT having someone call ur man a vegetable. A few days later Exo had an interview where Jongdae was asked how he felt about what went down. He had no response valid for this question so smiled until another member changed the topic*

 Xiumin: Anyways so about Kris leavi..”

Suho: Dont chANGE it to tHAT

Xiu will bring up anything to save his best friend buddy buddy of chums jongdae

Originally posted by dayafterdae


*This guy started getting rude to Martial arts king Huang Zitao because he admitted he was scared of heights. Tao was about to sass back but you got in there first and didnt look back*

“Lol u scared of heights you’re such a pus..”

*Tao couldn’t believe his eyes as your first came into contact with this mans nose*

T: Y/N what are you doing?? thats Kris!”

Y/N: “As in Kris wu former bandmate??…oh well you guys fell out anyways right”

Originally posted by ztaohs


*Lay was in a panic, as soon he had come to terms with the scene in front of him and grabbed your arm and pulled you away from the man you just hit*

YX: “You just punched the presidENT Y/N we are going to J A I L”

Y/N: “What was I meant to do she said your album was “pretty good” im sorry but it was AMAZXING (dont forgive me for this basic, common ass pun)

Originally posted by luedeer


*He knew it was pointless top try and stop you when you were in fighting mode, however his manager told him to calm you down so he sarcastically and half heartedly said some words as the side*

K: oh no y/n stop..dont do that..you should calm down…and yep there we go she hit him”

*Fake surprised*

This gif is so cute im screnkfiwf THRU MY ASS

Originally posted by hyung-bi


UGLI: “Luhan sucks and the only thing he can get sucked is his dik by u u hOE”

*He had never seen you fling a bitch so hard in his lyfe, he stood back not wanting to get in the way of this*

Y/N: “I will have you know he could get his dicc sucked by many bitches ok, even tho he technically cant bc he is mine but you get my p0INT”

Originally posted by meiren-menglu


*He stood and watched as you thew those punches to those who said he didn't love Luhan like Luhan loved him, you were hvaing NONE of that*


XM: “Yes she is mine believe it or not she is mine”

Originally posted by xiuboyfruits

banter m8

fun ways for the show to show that simon lewis isnt straight

(without upsetting canon)

  • a casual mention of a past boyfriend
  • a pun
  • clary mentioning a past boyfriend
  • simon saying “btw im pan”
  • a pun about pans
  • someone talking about being attracted to Jace and simon saying “same”
  • Congratulating alec on having such a good first boyfriend and continuing to tell him about his first boyfriend
  • casual mention of a boyfriend followed by “I’m pan i thought that was obvious” followed by a flashback to all of simons many gay moments
  • a gathering of the gang where simon says “oh btw i have a crush on every single one of you”
  • pointing at a pan saying “me”
  • Congratulating Alec on his epic coming out and continuing to tell him about his own coming out
  • kissing a random boy at a club
  • Sitting his sister down to tell her about being a vampire but she misunderstands and says “simon you already came out as pan remember?”
  • casual mention of a crush on a boy
  • saying “oh god remember when i thought was straight”
  •  “i cant believe i ever thought i was straight”
  •  “straight people are so weird”
  • “i dont understand the straights tbh”
  • going to a clave meeting and saying “wow i have never been in a room with so many straight people this is exhausting”
  • have him enter the room banging pans together shouting “DID YOU KNOW IM NOT STRAIGHT”
  • Chanting “any gender im a fan, did i mention im totally pan”

yoshimicherryopal  asked:

About the drabble challenge: could you do 64 with Moxiety?

64. “Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”

It’s autumn—the air is cool and crisp, the leaves crunch-crunch-crunch under their footsteps, and pumpkins in a thousand shapes and sizes and colors are scattered around them. Those are what Patton is supposed to be looking at—they’re buying pumpkins for their pumpkin-carving night tonight—but something else seems to have caught his attention. There’s a small pen off to the side of a barn, and inside of it are several bounding and bleating creatures—

“Goats,” Patton breathes, eyes wide and sparkling and (yes, Virgil will admit it) beautiful. He darts towards the pen, nearly skipping, and Virgil follows more hesitantly after him. “Oh, Verge, look at them! Aren’t they just the cutest things you’ve ever seen in the whole entire world?”

Virgil side-eyes one particular goat (it’s glaring at him—he can tell) and harrumphs. “Your definition of ‘cute’ doesn’t seem to match mine.” He tilts his head for a moment, contemplating, then adds, “Although I suppose I already knew that. You are dating me, after all.”

Patton brings one hand up to curl around the back of Virgil’s neck, drawing him into a determined kiss. “My definition of cute is perfectly sound, thank you.”

“Okay,” Virgil says, although there’s a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Whatever you say, Patty.”

“And you’re even cuter than these goats, which is something that’s terribly difficult to be. In fact, I take back what I said earlier. You are the cutest thing I’ve ever seen in the whole entire—”

Virgil shakes his head, laughing. “Come on, quit it. Go back to admiring the goats.”

“I enjoy admiring you more.”

Groaning (and blushing, goddamnit) Virgil buries his face against Patton’s shoulder. “You’re so cheesy.”

“Well,” Patton says, ruffling Virgil’s hair, “you aren’t kidding.”

It takes Virgil a moment to understand the pun, and then he bursts into laughter—although he keeps the sound muffled in Patton’s cardigan. “You’re ridiculous and I love you.”

“I love you too, honeybunches. Now.” Patton’s voice drops into a conspiratorial whisper. “Do you think Logan would let us buy a goat?”

“Noooo, Patton. Goats are bad.”

“Nuh-uh. They’re adorable. Just look at them. We can buy a few pumpkins and then—”

“Just don’t buy a goat. I don’t care what you do, just no goats.”

“Come on, we goatta give it a shot—”

“Absolutely not.”

“You’re not even willing to negoatiate?”

Virgil huffs, trying to force his smile away. “No. It’s my prerogoative to keep our house livestock-free.”

Patton pauses for a moment, then squeezes Virgil into a tight hug. “Oh my goodness, you made a dad joke, I’m in love with you!”

“Good to know,” Virgil says, grinning. “Now, come on. Let’s go get some pumpkins.”

“Little problem with that, Kai..”

Oh my gosh I am in love with @nevuabby ’s new AU! It’s coming right along and everyone is giving such good ideas! Here’s my contributation (I was the anon with the pun) But go check them out!

Here’s Squip!Jeremy (click for better quality)

anonymous asked:

I might be having surgery in the near future and we've all seen the anesthesia-induced coming out stories. So I wanna be ready for the possibility of accidentally coming out as ace. I need ace puns. If I'm coming out in a fit of drug-induced honesty, it might as well be funny. Ideas?

Oh I hope this answer isn’t too late!! If it is, I hope your surgery went well. Here’s some good ace puns:

It’s getting colder, better bundle up so you don’t turn into an ACEicle! 

What do you call it when an ace appreciates someone’s appearance? ACEthetic attraction

How many aces does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they’d rather not screw

What’s it called when two aces hug? An embrACE

I’m a member of the AVENgers

What does the introverted ace want the most? SolACE

Where does an ace live? a palACE

What does a sex repulsed ace do when faced with the idea of sex? grimACE

When aces hold hands they interlACE their fingers 

What did the aromantic asexual say when asked about their sexuality? Straight as an aro, ace

Why are aces good ninjas? They can leave without a trACE! 

I’ve got an ace up my sleeve… it’s me

I ace everything I do even when I fail it


Timebreaker - A Summary
  • Sabine: do I look good
  • Marinette: yeah mum you look fine
  • Tom: ???me?
  • Marinette: you lOOK FINE
  • Marinette: GO AND EAT YOUR FOOD
  • Tom: thanks love u
  • Sabine: don't forget this! really! important! thing! kid!
  • Marinette: lmao don't worry I'll remember
  • Marinette: bye
  • Marinette: merDE THE BET
  • Alya: HURRY UP
  • Mr Kubdel: Alix did you have to just wear the same thing u always wear
  • Alix: father don't question me I know what I'm doing
  • Me Kubdel: okay
  • Mr Kubdel: listen u want a cool-ass pocket watch with a hologram
  • Alix: hell yeah I want it
  • Mr Kubdel: here u go my child
  • Mr Kubdel: now go forth and win that bet you made with the tall kid
  • Alix: I will not let you down father
  • Alix: key Kim imma beat ur ass
  • Kim: well imma steal your rollerblades that are way too small for me
  • Max: listen would you two shut the fuck up
  • Marinette: I'm FINE I MADE IT
  • Alix: wait a hot minute I forgot Alya please hold this very sacred and important thing that is 100 times more important that your blog
  • Alya: but my blog
  • Marinette: BUT THE BANNER
  • Marinette: AGH THERE IT GOES
  • Adrien: (I forgot to mention that this is the one episode Adrien and Nathanael actually stood next to each other, which is the only content I'm ever going to get) o h n o
  • Chloe: lmao what's this trash
  • Adrien: Chloe nO
  • Chloe: oops my hand slipped
  • Alix: *skates over the top of her watch*
  • Alix: wait
  • Alix: you actual fools
  • Alix: I'm going to kill you that was priceless
  • Everyone but Sabrina: Alix we feel so sorry for you
  • Sabrina: *evil smiling carrot*
  • Marinette: Alix wait
  • Alix: no listen you piece of shit
  • Alix: that had a HOLOGRAM
  • Alix: leave me alone
  • Marinette: *races home*
  • Marinette: I'm so sorry I was at this other thing
  • Nadja: no problems kiddo just give me my cake
  • Tikki: Marinette have you noticed that people are freezing up
  • Marinette: oh
  • Marinette: OH
  • Marinette: THAT IS NOT GOOD
  • Tikki: NO IT ISNT
  • Timebreaker: try my
  • Timebreaker: time to die
  • Titanic music: baaaa ba ba ba ba baaa ba ba baa ba baaaaa baaa
  • Chat: dead
  • Ladybug: ASDFGHJKL WHY
  • Timebreaker: BACK IN TIME
  • Ladybug: yo past me go home and come back
  • Hawkmoth: YES MORE
  • Akuma: flap flap
  • Timebreaker: *multiplies*
  • Ladybug: *also multiplies*
  • Chat: puns
  • Fight sequence: lasts a long time
  • Ladybug: YEAH IM DONE
  • Other ladybug: ok bye
  • Other ladybug: *fades from existence*
  • Alix: woah you fixed my watch thanks bro
  • Hawkmoth: ffs why
  • Marinette: nice anniversary?
  • Sabine & Tom: alright
Many Burgers, Many Days - Jughead Jones Imagine

REQUESTED: No, but I already did an Archie imagine so I wanted to do one for Jughead!

WARNINGS: Sarcasm. And puns. (Also some swearing.)

SUMMARY: A story of yours and Jug’s relationship over the summer.

NOTES: So, Episode 3 of Riverdale happened. Yep. (Please can Grundy just get out :////)

Also, I’m getting closer and closer to performance night for my school musical, so updates may be few and far between.

Anyways, hope you enjoy this one! 

Originally posted by mieczyslwstilinski

Keep reading

rotten-pastel-boy  asked:

Can I request a bakushima fanfic where Kirishima tells Bakugou all the Kirishima pick up lines you and the anons said???

Gahhh I’m so late with this stuff but here you go love!! I did a thing and I hope you like it lol

Bakugou was so done by the time he walked into class that morning.

First, he couldn’t fall asleep until late last night because his shitty haired neighbor was on the phone for most of the night laughing and just being loud in general. He also woke up an hour before his alarm went off and couldn’t fall back asleep because apparently his body hates him. Then, he tried to shower but for some reason the water was ice fucking cold and almost exploded a hole through the shower wall because of how angry he was.

All in all, it’s been a shit morning. And to make it better, as he walked through the UA halls, Bakugou could feel people stare at him, whispering to the people next to them and laughing about something that he couldn’t hear. He scowled and shoved his hands deep in his pockets, feeling them spark and sizzle against his thighs. He did not want to get kicked out of the program for blowing up idiot students but at that moment he also wished that looks could kill because his glare would’ve slaughtered them all.

Walking into the classroom, he froze and realized why everyone was looking at him like that.

On his desk was a note, open, and covered in bright red hearts. Immediately, he scowled deeper and debated how it would affect his hero career if he skipped class. But he walked in anyway, snatched up the note, and was about to blow it up when he caught a glimpse of very messy and somehow familiar handwriting, though he couldn’t put his finger on why.

When ever you touch me you make my heart explode;)

Bakugou read over that line a few times before he crumpled it up and exploded it in his hand, ashes falling to his feet. He sent a deadly glare around the room, noticing some people laughing quietly to himself when his eyes met a pair of red ones and his gaze froze, looking at Kirishima who was seated at his desk with a slightly terrified Kaminari next to him. He stared at Kirishima, noticing a flash of disappointment cross the other’s face before his signature smile took over his features.

“Got a secret admirer, huh, Bakubro?”

“Don’t fucking call me that, Shitty Hair.” He ripped his gaze away and slammed down into his seat, unsure why swirls of guilt were spreading through his body.

As the day progressed, Bakugou forgot about the letter. He was able to let his anger out during their class training session, which was exactly what he needed. Training ended and Bakugou felt a little lighter as he walked back to his room to start studying, but froze when he reached his door, seeing a similar piece of paper taped on the wood.

I could rock your world if you let me

Okay this has to be a fucking joke. Bakugou’s head whipped around when he felt eyes on the back of his head but saw nobody in the halls with him. Sending one last glare to the invisible presence, he slowly peeled the note off of the door and entered his room, throwing the piece of paper on his desk as he kicked his shoes off and threw his backpack down.

Not even two minutes later and he heard a knock on his door. Groaning, he got up from his bed, where he was attempting to rest shortly, and opened the door.

“What! Oh, it’s just you, Shitty Hair.” He leaned against the doorframe as he squinted at Kirishima.

“Hey man! Can you help me with the homework from today? I’m stumped,” he asked with a sheepish look on his face. Bakugou saw that he had already gathered up all of his books before coming over. With a deep sigh, he stepped to the side to give the other enough room to come inside. Kirishima beamed at him and walked passed him. “Thanks Bakugou!”

“Whatever.” He slammed the door behind him and watched as Kirishima spotted the note.

“Oh, wow! Two in one day? You must be a popular dude.”

There was a hint of something that Bakugou couldn’t place.

“Do you know who’s sending them?” Bakugou could place that tone though: insecurity. Why Kirishima would be so nervous asking that question was beyond him.

“Why the fuck do you care?”

Kirishima tense momentarily before letting out a forced laugh. “Just curious man!”

“Whatever dumbass. Are you just in here to waste my time or do you actually want to fucking learn something.” Kirishima smiled and sat on his bed, setting his books up in front of him as moving over to give Bakugou room to sit too.

Late that night, Kirishima was at his wits end. He was sitting up on his bed, trying to think of some way to get Bakugou to realize it was him writing those notes. He tried the subtle pick up line approach but apparently they were too vague.

Groaning, he threw his head back against the wall with a thud. He needed something, some kind of idea that would make it more obvious. He felt around for his phone before calling someone.

“Kami! I need your help again!”

Bakugou slept until his alarm, the shower was warm, and everything was going good that morning. That is, until he walked back to his room.

Apparently, someone had slid a piece of paper under his door while he was in the shower, which he stepped on before noticing. He sighed, already becoming irritated over this mystery person leaving him really weird letters yesterday and honestly hoped that it wouldn’t happen any more. He picked it up and opened the letter and reading what new line this person came up with.

I don’t need my quirk to get hard when I’m around you;)

Three thoughts ran through Bakugou’s mind when he read that: “What the actual fuck?!”, “Why the actual fuck?!”, and “Who the actual fuck?!”. He couldn’t tell if his face was red from rage or embarrassment at that very straight forward and sexual line.

And then it clicked.


A few loud thuds came from behind the other wall followed by a groan of pain. Bakugou turned towards the door, scowling and trying to will away his blush and he heard Kirishima slowly turn the knob and poke just his head through the opening.

“Yes?” he asked in a very quiet voice. Bakugou stomped over and ripped the door open the rest of the way, shoving the note in the other’s face.


“I…um….surprise?” He gave a sheepish smile, to which Bakugou just threw his arms up in exasperation and paced around the room.

“What the fuck is that letter supposed to mean?!”

Kirishima groaned. “I told Kami that it was too weird.”

“So it was fucking Sparky’s idea?”

“Kinda? Like, the stupid puns and pick up lines were just because I’m not good at coming up with them myself.”

“Why would you fucking do this in the first place though?”


“What? Stop fucking mumbling dumbass.”

Kirishima took in a deep breath, “Because I like you but I’m awkward and was too afraid to confess so I decided to leave you cryptic notes and oh man you hate me now.” He closed his eyes and held his breath, tensing his body in preparation for a punch that he thought was heading his way.

When he didn’t feel a blow, he cracked his eyes open and relaxed his body when he saw Bakugou just standing there, speechless, face bright red.

“You…you fucking idiot!”


“You could’ve just fucking told me instead of doing this,” he gestured widely with his hands, “shit.”

Kirishima was speechless for a moment. “Wait, does that mean?”

“Yes you moron! I fucking…tolerate you too,” he said those last words quietly, feeling his face heat up even more at the spontaneous confession. Kirishima’s face split into a bright smile.

“So, will you go out with me?”

Bakugou averted his eyes and sat on the edge of his bed. “Fine.”

“Yes!!” Kirishima threw his arms up and jumped around excitedly. Bakugou tried to fight back a smile that was making a way on his face at the sight. When Kirishima calmed down, there was a wicked smile on his face.

“Hey Bakugou?”


“Does this mean that more than just our quirks are compatible?”

“Get the fuck out.”

If "Agents of SHIELD" was a sitcom with a laughtrack
  • *Daisy is looking through different models of quake gauntlets*
  • Daisy: Hmm...I think I like model A better. 'Fitz' my knuckles perfectly. Pun intended (laughtrack).
  • Fitz (sarcastic): Ha, good one (laughtrack).
  • Daisy: But seriously, this thing is a good fit. Mind if I test it out in the field?
  • Fitz: Sure, but if you break it...let's just say a certain 'Doctor' will want to see you when you get back (laughtrack).
  • Daisy: *grabs an apple from a nearby apple basket and starts eating it*
  • Fitz: Oh come on, I was just kidding!
  • Daisy (confused): What did I do?
  • Fitz: 'An apple a day keeps the doctor away'? Ha, you're really funny.
  • Daisy: Bro...I'm just hungry (laughtrack). I never kid around about my hunger (laughtrack). Speaking of which, why do you keep a basket of apples in your lab?
  • Fitz: Well, between you and me...Coulson sometimes sneaks in the lab to steal the leftovers in my fridge (laughtrack). So I decided to put the apples there, just for him.
  • Daisy: Coulson does NOT sneak in your-
  • *door opens and Coulson walks in. Daisy and Fitz look at him, puzzled. Audience is laughing at their reactions*
  • Coulson: Oh, hey Daisy, hey Fitz (laughtrack). I was just...looking...for...May?
  • Daisy: May's on a mission...in Bulgaria (laughtrack).
  • Coulson: Oh, right...I'll just be going then (laughtrack).
  • Coulson: *awkwardly grabs the basket of apples before leaving the room*
  • Fitz (smirking): Told you (laughtrack).
  • *music plays as we fade to the next scene*

dorismith  asked:

It looks like you're answering asks, and here's one I've always wondered about. Where do your titles come from? "Hollow Your Bones," for instance, sounds to me like it's from poetry or Shakespeare or song lyrics or such. That is, they feel like they refer to something else, but I don't know the references. They're like quotes I can almost, but not quite, remember. If your titles are 100% yours and just one more facet of your brilliance, well, you're even more brilliant than I thought.

There are a few that are direct quotes!  “Over the River and Through the Woods,” “Always Get What I Aim For,” “This is Halloween,” and “His Fate Will Be Unlearned,” are all from songs.

Many others are either obvious references or puns, like “Weekend at Barton’s,” “Every Time a Bell Rings,” “DJ’s Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day.”  

But for most of my long form, stand alone fics, I do my best to find a title that matches the theme of the story, as well as provide a germ of an idea of what’s coming.  My greatest hope is that the title sounds kinda cool at the beginning, and then when you finish the story, you can look at the title and go, oh, so THAT’S what that means.

I pretend to be clever. 8)

“Hollow Your Bones Like a Bird’s” is mostly a story about grief, but it’s also a story of recovery.  It’s a story how grief can hollow you out, leaving you looking perfectly normal on the surface, but suddenly and horribly fragile beneath that.  It is about emptiness, not just for Clint, but for all of the Avengers as they struggle to put themselves back together in the wake of a horrible, horrible event.

A bird’s bones are hollow, and that allows them to fly.  So the thing that makes them most vulnerable also makes possible one of their biggest advantages.  Clint starts that fic as a disgraced SHIELD agent on the verge of losing himself.  He ends it as an Avenger.  It starts with an act of violence, it ends in a place of peace.  

He is a survivor.  He can’t go back to how he was.  He can’t undo what was done to him.  He’s not the same.  And he ends the fic being kind of okay with that.  

It’s one of my favorite titles. 8)

anonymous asked:

x Bingiplier pLEASE

Can do anon!

I love these meme bois you don’t understand

-Based off of @markired‘s post on the ego’s sexualities, I can agree that Chase is bisexual! So when he meets Bing for the first time, it’s the living embodiment of one of those bro posts. 

          -”Bro, I love that hat!”  “not as much as I love your skateboard”  “…bro”

- Chase tends to keep a lot of his feelings to himself, but does a terrible job of doing it. When he’s feeling down or missing Stacy, Bing can tell. His immediate reaction is to either fetch some cookies for Chase or set up an elaborate movie night.

- Bing is the editor of Chase’s channel, since Chase knows absolutely fuck-all about editing (Chad used to do it, but after seeing Bing’s skills, he gladly took up the position of Chase’s sidekick), and now their videos are sicker and more awesome than ever!

- When Chase realized he was falling for Bing, he wanted to admit it right away, but he didn’t know how. With Stacy, it was a one-time-thing that turned into something more, so now he didn’t know what to do. “How the fuck do you woo a guy??” So he decided to take Bing back to the park where they first met, and just come out with it (no pun intended). When he did, Bing just stared at him for a moment, and Chase thought, “Oh my god, I’ve fucked it up,” but then Bing just grabbed the back of his neck and kissed him.

- Cue them then going home and cuddling for the rest of the day and into the night

 These were all kinda long (except for that last one), but I hope I did good! This is my first request for headcanons, so please please please tell me how I did!

the-hoodie-of-hope  asked:

Ok, so i'm planning on coming out to my parents as pan next tuesday, (pancake day) and I need some good puns. Just to break the ice. A simple definition/explanation of pansexuality might help too, thanks!

Definition - “A person who is sexually interested in other people regardless of gender”

Puns: Pansexuals don’t come out of the closet. We come out of the cupboard.

That’s fantastic, Or should I say, PAN-tastic

I didn’t come out of the closet, I came out of the PANtry

How to come out of the closet in pun form


You: What a beautiful gay.
Friend: What?
You: I mean day, I’m the beautiful gay.
You: I got a pan.
Friend: That’s a bowl.
You: Oh I’m the pan!
Hide in a closet and when someone finds you run out screaming “IM QUEER”


it’s been so long since I did a songwriter AU! i feel so bad because this has been sitting in my draft patiently waiting for me to write but- anyways I hope you enjoy! 

  • you had always known that daniel loved his cats 
  • you had always heard him gushing about what his cats had done the night before to your other classmates (specifically seongwoo and Jisung who always seemed so interested)
  • but one day after the music class that you both were in you were on the way to the music room (for some reason they made the music and the actual music classroom different) you heard singing/rapping coming from the room
  • you investigate bc why not 
  • and you open the door slightly and you see Daniel at the piano playing a melody that seems really relaxing 
  • but then
  • he starts singing about his appreciation for his cats and just cats in general 

Keep reading

thewingedfirewolf  asked:

Hey mom! I finally came up with a placeholder title for my novel that I've been working on since 2013. I feel so free :D It's a post-apocalyptic story about friendship, loyalty, and being queer :D "Until We Die". Do you ever have trouble coming up with titles for things? It took me four years for three words...

Congratulations! That’s great, I’m so proud :D

And uh, I’d like to say yes, I spend a lot of time deliberating but uh, honestly I just come up with puns so often and every now and then I go “oh that’d be a good book title” and write the novels around them. I know who I am lol

anonymous asked:

Could you do Corrin asking the royal boys + Shigure to be their valentines for the first time?

Leo: You want to do something that’s not something he’ll laugh at. Cookies…you’ll burn. Flowers–he might be allergic…a letter? He might point out your spelling errors. You’re venting about just how to figure this out to a trusted comrade, not knowing that Leo just happens to be around the corner and listening to all of this.

He waits for you to approach him all day–and it’s only right before bed that you do. You don’t go with a note, or a gift, or a treat of any kind. Just you and yourself. You have your fists balled up in determination as you confess to him.

He looks a little serious, and then walks over to ruffle your hair. “Of course–was that so hard, silly ____? You should know by now I would accept. I’m not difficult, you know.”

“I doubt that last bit,” you mutter under your breath, and he tugs your cheek playfully. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Leo,” you say sweetly, and kiss his cheek to distract him from any complaining on your part.

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