oh btw sorry if you read my tags i say stupid shit a lot

me-a-hopeless-romantic  asked:

Can you write the Connor x Internet friend! Reader as a fanfic. I would love it if you did.

Message Me || Connor Murphy x Reader (PART 1 OF 5)

requested : yep
prompt: n/a
pairing : connor murphy x reader
warnings : suicide plan mention
additional notes : reader is female, based off of a Connor X Internet friend reader headcanon by @watch-the-whole-world-disappear, they meet on tumblr, connor runs an Edgy™ Aesthetic Blog, WHICH I RUN BTW, NOT THAT THERES ANYTHING ON IT YET BUT YEAH FOLLOW ME AT @connor-fvckng-mvrphy lmao it’s a Connor roleplay blog

Bored. Bored. Bored.

Bored is such a boring word. In this moment, you’ve never heard a word that describes you so much.

You scroll listlessly through your tumblr, liking random images and quotes from this one aesthetic blog that you follow. Your eyes wander, not that you’re finding anything interesting, until you come across an interesting poem.   


I have to get this
off my chest before
I straighten every crooked object
offensive clutter distraction
nervous as fuck
I’ll pull out every hair
or tear my fingers off
If I don’t figure out how to look
in your eyes
without screaming

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I can’t remember anything before you
I can’t imagine anything without you
I want to live the rest of my life with you

But only if you think I’m cool
We should just kill ourselves

‘Interesting,‘ You think, 'Edgy, but very interesting.’

This guy (girl? other?) seems interesting. Relatable. You click on their name, intrigued.

At one click, you fall in love with the account. You follow on first sight.

According to his bio, his name is Connor and he’s seventeen. His posts consist of black-and-white photos of chipped nail-polish, of pale wrists with even paler scars zigzagged across the stick-thin appendage. Quotes by Poe, little poems like the first one you read. 

He’s tortured, you know. But you can’t bring yourself to message him, like the little stalker you are.

Hours of pouring over his account turn into days, days into weeks, until finally you have been an avid fan of his for a month. 

And then it all comes crashing down.

One day, you refresh your page, bored, and there’s a new post from him. Literally must have been posted not even a minute ago. 


this is not going to be a great week
or year or life
or anything inbetween
i thought for a millisecond
that i had found a friend
a kindred spirit
but you fucking tore it up

fuck you, E.H.
your friend too
go ahead and laugh
laugh all you want
but will you be laughing when the school shooter is dead?


You’re worried.

This poem…was not like the others.

This was angry. This was raw. This was…this was real.

You bite your lip. Your eyes flick down to the tags.

#suicide plan #goodbye

Shit. Your eyes widen and you click on your inbox, typing in a message frantically

hi I know you don’t know me but I just saw the tags on your newest poem and im freaking out
please please don’t kill yourself
I’m sorry it’s just your poems are really relatable and help me a lot and i feel like I’ve gotten to know you through them and oh my god you probably think I’m so creepy I’m so sorry

You wait, terrified, for a response.

One minute.

Two minutes.




There is no answer, and you bury your head in your pillow and try not to cry. You can’t help it, your shoulders shake with wracking sobs. You probably failed at saving this guy, you failed so bad. You suck, oh god, you suck.

After another five minutes of sobbing, you hear a loud ding from your phone, and you blearily stare at the screen through unshed tears.

im flattered
I didn’t realise that somebody actually read my poems or my tags or cared or…

You gasp in relief, fingers tap-tap-tapping out a reply. 

OH thank god I thought that you had…
Are you okay??
thats a stupid question omg I'm sorry

im fine
actually…i feel much better.
thanks for, you know.

I’m [y/n] btw


i know
thats creepy oh my god;sorry

it’s fine ig I mean it is in my bio so??? its chill


so this might sound weird but ????
you’re…pretty cool.
i just looked over your account and wanted to know
well you know
want to talk more???

wow im??? Really???

yeah i mean you helped me there,,,like a lot,,,

id love to !!!!

You talked almost every day. When you got down to it…he was a sweetheart. He was kind. He got you.

do you think, like…
well ever get to meet each other??
imean you’re a really great friend now and???
id like to meet you.

i wish
but we live like eight hours away from each other…

ill drive to you!

calm down, connor…lmao
we don’t want you burning out on the way

:( I don’t even know what you look like…

i don’t know what you look like either! XD

shit well
if I send you a picture of me
will you do the same?

sure ig

me.jpg my sister took the photo so,,,


id prefer handsome but I’ll take it
your turn, missy.

hnnghhh okay


holy shit



no no no I am definitely not wtf you need your eyes checked?

no way you’re fucking adorable
i think /I’m/ in love you cute lil motherfucker

we should swap phone numbers

and skype??

fuck yeah

oKay !!! im [skype/name] and my number is [number]

my Skype is the same as my tumblr and my phone number is XXXX XXXXXX

saved and I just texted you too :)

'hi Connor!!!!’ with a bunch of happy emojis?
dude you’re just,,,
thats really fucking cute

wh y???? do you keep calling me cute I’m???

because, as it turns out, i have a really cute best friend

best friend??
awww connor!!!

yeah yeah
you’re literally all I have, [y/n]

you’re my best friend too!!
i really wish i could meet you…

me too…hold on a sec

connor??? you okay???

my sister just walked in and was being a dick, being nosy about who I’m talking to and not believing that it was a friend. She thinks I’m talking to my dealer.
i fucking hate her sometimes

do you?

but she thinks I do. It’s easier to let her.

*internet hug*

Fuck…that’s cute.

 As time went on, you found yourself more and more drawn to Connor. His photos could always make you smile, and nothing brightened up a shitty day more than clicking on his Skype name and watching him answer a video call, smiling dopily at the camera.

And also as time went on…you slowly began to realise why.

You were in love with him. 

Fuck, you were in love with a guy eight hours away. A guy that you had never met in real life. What do you do?

…You continue pining for him over a distance, of course.

You watch yourself in the screen, waiting for Connor to pick up the Skype call. Soon enough, he does, and his grinning face fills the screen.

“Hey, [y/n].” He greets sleepily - it’s like, midnight over there - and rests his chin on his hands.

“Heya.” You wave at the camera, grinning sheepishly and a little shyly. The thrill of actually seeing him rather than just a message still gets you.

“It’s almost Valentine’s Day, huh?”

“Yep! Any special girl that you had in mind?” You ask, a hopeful smile plastered on your face.

“No, well…actually…” He furrows his brow, and your heart drops.

“Is she pretty?” You ask, concealing your jealousy. You could be there for him.

“She’s cute. Like, really fucking cute.” Connor says, watching you carefully.

Truth be told, Connor felt the same way. He was absolutely crazy about you, but he didn’t want to ruin this adorably heartwarming friendship you had.

To wake up and have no more *internet hug* messages or cute little reminders…it’d ruin his life. You were absolutely the only thing keeping him going.

You talked for ages, until it was about 2:30 on his end. Before long, he was getting tired. 

“I should go soon.” He says drowsily. 

“Mmmm.” You don’t want him to go. “Night, Con.”

“G'night.” He yawns. “Love you.”

You freeze. He freezes and hurriedly leaves the video chat.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Connor slams his head on his desk, pissed off. “I fucked up. I fucked up.” He mumbles.

A small chime comes from his computer and he bites his lip, glancing reluctantly at the screen.

i love you too!!!!

anonymous asked:

Jily modern muggle AU headcannons? <3


  • TATTOOS- ok so lily has a number of little tattos here and there, including a band around her bicep which says ‘fuck you’ in different languages as well as feminist in all caps down her ribs, james and sirius have mtaching half sleves which is pretty much just crappy doodles that the two of them came up with when they were drunk, remus has a solar system tat, and peter a compass
  • also lily and sirius have matching ironic tramp stamps because they’re BROS (sirius’s one is made out of petunias because I’M OBVIOUS)
  • anyway james is a fucking dork
  • i mean no matter what universe he’s in he’s a dork but i digress
  • he’s kind of a hipster with clunky glasses and oversized jumpers/ more flannel than anyone should reall own, his instagram is half aesthetic™ half the marauders doing stupid shit, his facebook is mostly memes and subtle dragging, his twitter is a lot of football updates/ stats
  • he’s probably read a lot of oscar wilde but also spends his weekends watching drunk history with sirius so
  • family is very very rich which means he kinds of take things for granted a lot
  • probably a philosphy major and when he gets drunk he starts going on and on about existentialism and existence and remus is like oh my god will someone shut him up no not you sirius last time you tried he talked about the void for an hour
  • modern au lily evans fights people on reddit. it’s relaxing
  • always dtf (down to fight) will probably fight you, your mum and herself (not your pets though she’s more likely to teal your dogs and cuddle them)
  • dyes her hair like every other month
  • she’s definitely middle class and while they have enough to get by she still gets some of her sister’s hand me downs
  • her instagram is ethereal which is ironic because she has no sense of style (she forgets to do laundry until there’s nothing left but a ripped pair of dunagrees and turtle neck but somehow she makes it work) but ¾ is her at pride rallies, or black lives matter rallies, or basically just a whole lot of activism going on there
  • the other ¼ is cats and sirius in unflattering positions
  • this extends to james when they finally get together
  • she does not know what subtlety is and will drag you, shade you and spill tea on you all in one shot all over twitter and facebook
  • can hold her liquor like no other and will drink anyone under the table
  • she chews james out the first time they meet and when she’s done, James is dazed and just turns to sirius and says ‘i think i’m in love’
  • he’s like a lovesick little puppy and joins snapchat just so he can follow her and make heart eyes at her story 24/7
  • (lily is a very active snapper. she looks good in the beard filter and that’s how he knows he’s fucked)
  • (james likes the flower crown one btw)
  • (obligatory sirius because sirius is the dog filter all the way)
  • lily is both annoyed and endeared but lets him be because y’know he’s kind of cute and likes to rant about patriachy if you give him enough gin
  • she’s doesn’t know when she starts spending more time with James than she does with sirius but it happens
  • she suspects it’s because sirius likes to watch her beat james at video games because 1) he’s to busy heart eyeing her to focus properly and 2) lily is weirdly good at CoD and super smash bros
  • the first time she posts a picture of them together it’s with james glaring at the tv with his tongue sticking out and controller in hand. caption: this fuckin loser tho *alien emoji* #dumbass
  • if you text james he replies with 70% emojis
  • lily texts like a straight white boy in heat. everything is an innuendo. entendres are her life. haha and then what *smirk emoji* is her most commonly used phrase
  • when she finally realises that she likes him back it’s the biggest oh fUCK moment ever and she has to lie down on the floor to control herself because shit how did this happen?
  • she knows how it happened; in between bickering over video games and going to the movies together and late night ice cream runs and fuck she’s blind
  • so like any self respecting 20y/o she invites him over to netflix and chill as one does
  • ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
  • james does not know what netflix and chill means so he comes over fully intending to actually netflix and chill and ignores that she’s wearing nothing but her ridiculous mismatched knee high socks and one of his jumpers
  • again lily is equal parts annoyed and endeared because this is the fool i chose to bestow my affections upon c’est la vie
  • they do cuddle on the couch though
  • she tries several more times but apparently this boy is very very dense and needs it spelt out for him
  • so she does
  • with snapchat
  • she sends him a 10 second selfie of her in a cute bra okay
  • #modernromance
  • their official first date is laser tag and pizza and stargazing and they may or may not get drunk and steal a couple of street signs before making out in an alley
  • (their unnofficial first date is a proper netflix and session ayyyyy)