oh brit

I’d be lying if i said this wasn’t inspired by @theoanetflix

also I haven’t used any sort of  editing software in, like, four years so this wasn’t as good as it could have been

All Bets Are Off

((OOC: Dealing out some authentic 90′s wizarding world realness, Brit played by: @mightbeamalfoy, Charlie played by: @girlswillbeboys11, Keenan played by: @kapitan5o))

*Charlie, Lexa, Brit are sat at a table playing poker*

Brit: *gathers the chips in front of her*

Brit: Y'know, Charlie, I heard your little brothers had quite a knack for gambling, it’s a shame you never picked up any of their tricks– 

Lexa: oh maybe that’s your brothers giving you some advice now 

Brit: beg your pardon? 

Brit: *realizing* Hagrid?


  • website: [uses an american term]
  • brits: oh i didn't know there was a different word for that!
  • website: [uses a british term]
  • americans: what the FUCK is an AUBERGINE um do you mean EGGPLANT do you think you're FRENCH HAHAHAHA WHO THE FUCK CALLS IT AN ABUREGNIE

Get to know me meme: 4/5 tv shows
The Secret Circle


When I was a child, I realized that the camera was designed exactly like the human eye, taking in light through a lens, forming it into images. I began taking as many pictures of eyes as I possibly could. I’d like to tell you the story of the eyes that changed my world.
I Origins (2014), dir. Mike Cahill

Do I? - Jamie Benn (Part 2)

A/N: I was super nervous, but I really wanted to write a second part of this and I just kind of left it open for a third if you guys like it. I hope you enjoy it.

Word count: 1840

Warnings: mentions of fighting and alcohol. Mild swearing.

Part 1

Originally posted by tsegs91

I open my eyes and immediately shut them. The room is spinning around me and my head is pounding. Okay body, I get it, I didn’t need the last appletini… or the last three.

I sit down, my eyes still shut and I rub my temples, trying to get my headache to go away. I open my eyes and I’m blind for a second until they adjust to the light that comes in through the window. I’m sitting on the couch at Alyssa’s place; Emily and Brit are peacefully asleep next to me. I groan, my head is killing me, and I walk to the bathroom looking for some advil.

“Give me some of that, (y/n)” someone whispers behind me when I finally find the container in the bathroom cabinet.

“Here” I say, giving Al a couple pills “Cheers” and we both swallow the medicine.

“I’m never drinking again” Marta says from the bed and I smirk. It is always the same old tale: we go out, drink too much, extreme hangover, I’m never doing this again and repeat.

“Whatever you say, Mar” I answer and I give her a pill.

“Thanks, (y/n)”

I walk back to the living room, putting the medicine container on the coffee table and grabbing my phone from my bag on the floor. I have a text message.

Hey beautiful. I got you five tickets for tonight’s game. Good seats.


I smile, remembering what happened last night. Did I really meet Jamie fucking Benn? Ugh, someone pinch me.

Hey. Thanks, that’s so incredibly nice of you.


I don’t have to wait long before he texts back.

It is my pleasure. Good night?


I smile and type back an answer.

I’m never drinking again.


Immediate answer.

Like I have never heard that before. That bad, huh?


By this time I’m smiling like an idiot.

Going to a hockey game is probably the worst idea ever.

I tease him. A couple minutes go by and I’m worried I’ve screwed up. I was just joking. I rub my eyes when I hear the sound of a text message.

Don’t stand me up. Gotta go, but I’ll see you tonight. Your tickets will be at the box office, just tell them your name.


I send him back a goodbye and lock up my phone, my mind racing. I can’t believe that this is happening to me. I’ve had a crush on Jamie Benn since he started playing for the Dallas Stars, but I’m not the kind of girl that goes to the bars players go to and throw themselves at them like they are Gods. I am the kind of girl who thinks she is not pretty enough for them and it is happy with seeing them at hockey games. Wasn’t I wrong?

“Earth to (y/n)” Emily says and I snap back to reality “who were you texting with?”

I shrug and they know it isn’t my mom.

“Oh no…” they say and start chuckling “you are blushing”

“No, I’m not”

“Oh yes, you are” Brit says and I try hide my face with a cushion “You were texting a guy”

“And not just any guy… you were texting Jamie Benn” and all of them laugh while my face turns red.

“What are you two talking about?” Alyssa tries to grab my phone from my hand and I give her a dirty look.

“He was telling me about the five tickets for tonight’s game that he has left for me at the box office” I tell them and I can see their jaws drop “so I guess I have to find another four people to come with me…”

“We are going to the game tonight?” Marta asks, getting on her feet.

“Who says I am taking you?” I ask, raising my eyebrow.

“You are kidding… right?” Emily looks at me and I can’t keep a straight face.

“Yes, I am kidding. Who else would I want to take with me?”

“Bye girls, I need to go get ready” Marta walks out the door before we can even say goodbye.

“I thiiiiink I’m gonna go too” Brit follows her.

“Did I say Fashion Week instead of hockey game?” and Em, Al and I laugh.

When I get to the main entrance of the American Airlines Center everyone is already here. Everyone is looking good in victory green and I smile. I’m wearing my Jamie Benn jersey; it is the reason of why I am slightly late. I was debating on whether wear or not, I don’t want to look too desperate.

“Hi, I’m (y/n). Jamie Benn has left tick…”

“Yeah, here they are” the woman says, handing them to me. “Best seats in the arena. Enjoy!”

Best seats on the arena? Her words keep going around in my mind while we walk to the door and hand the man our tickets.

“First door in and all the way down. Enjoy” he indicates us and I smile politely.

We make our way to the seats and realize that the lady wasn’t kidding, first row seats right by the penalty box. A girl around our age is waiting for us there.

“Hi, you must be (y/n)” she says to me and I nod “Food and drinks are included with your tickets and Mr. Benn has asked me to tell you that you are expected in the locker room after the game”

“Uhh, thank you” I stumble with my words and she just gives me a nod and a smile and leaves.

“This is amazing” I hear one of my friends say, but I don’t really follow the conversation as the Stars make their way to the ice.

Jamie comes out last, but his eyes are quick to scan the area until they land on me. He smirks and I give him a shy smile. The Stars warm up and my friends are about to go crazy and jump the glass to get to ice.

“Girls, play it cool!” I whisper to them and they look at me for a second before sitting up straight and pretend they are not interested at all.

I shake my head, my eyes back to the ice when I see Jordie, Tyler and Jamie looking straight at us and my cheeks heat up like crazy.

“They are looking at us” Emily says.

“Play it cool, girls, play it cool” Brit mocks at me and I give them a dirty look.

The game starts and we are definitely not playing it cool, we are screaming and cheering and booing and chirping. We are on full hockey mode. The game is rough, lots of hits and checks that are uncalled until I hear a whistle and look back, a fight breaking on the ice. Of course, Antoine Roussel is involved in it, fighting a guy who has nothing to do against the player with more penalty minutes in the NHL. The refs are taking both of them to the sin bin when two pairs of gloves fly out and two players are going at it when the puck isn’t on play. Punches are flying and the fight is rough when I see the 14 on the green jersey. I’m pretty sure I go white, because my friends shake me a little to get my attention.

“Hey, (y/n). He is a big boy, he is gonna be fine” I can just nod.

They both fall down the ice and I can see the blood on the ice, I can’t even react as everyone gets on their feet and give Jamie an ovation while he skates right to the locker room after being punished with a 12 minutes for fighting and other penalties.

“Your boyfriend is a feisty little thing” Emily says and I roll my eyes.

The game is scoreless at the end of the first period and we sigh. Deciding to get some food and try to calm down. When the players come back to the ice I see Jamie skating right to the penalty box. He looks at me and I do the same for what it seems like forever until I shake my head, letting him know that I’m not ok with him fighting like that and he winks at me. After three minutes Jamie is allowed to go back to the ice and he skates out of the penalty box as fast as he can, stealing the puck from a defenseman and skating by himself to the net, where he shoots and scores. We don’t even have enough time to celebrate, because thirty seconds later he scores a second one.

“We want a hat trick, Jamie” my friends are screaming beside me and I can’t help it but to laugh.

Second period ends with a two scores lead and everyone cheers. Marta and Brit go get supplies for the last period and I try to relax on my seat when I get a text.

I hope you are enjoying the game


I smile, typing a quick answer since I know he won’t have much time to see it.

Idk, this crazy dude beat the shit outta someone


I can almost see him smiling typing down

I bet you liked it


Not really, I’m worried. He might be hurt.


I get no answer, but I hear the people cheering and I know the team is back on the ice. The third period starts and there isn’t much action until the very last minute when the Bennguin connection starts working and Tyler and Jamie pass the puck between them and going all the way to the net. Jamie has a clear chance to score, but he passes the puck to Tyler and he scores.

“He could’ve had a hat trick” the man behind me says in disbelief and I can’t stop but to be mad at him for giving that goal to Tyler.

The Stars win and we make our way to the locker rooms. We have no idea of where we are going and by the time we get there many players are outside talking with their families and friends on the hall. We stand there awkwardly, making small talk until I see Jamie walking off the locker room and walking towards me. I decide to meet him half way.

“I am fine” he tells me before I can say anything “bruised knuckles, you should’ve seen the other guy”

“You are an idiot” I say, looking at his knuckles and then at him.

“For fighting?”

“And for not getting that hat trick” I remind him and he smirks.

“Maybe next game” He says and I roll my eyes, “but I didn’t want to spend all my luck on the ice”

I look at him like he is crazy and gives me a little hit on my chin.

“I need the rest of my luck to ask you out” he whispers and I blush furiously. “Say yes?”

“You are definitely an idiot”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes Jamie, it is a yes”

Real Tord Omorashi.

This Omo is based off of the real Eddsworld crew, not the cartoons. Slight Tom/Tord.

       The Norwegian man, that went by the nickname, Tord was on his way to the home of his best friend, Edd. Edd had planned a small get-together for all of his friends when Tord had failed to get along with his second, closest friend, Tom. Tord was certain that he would never be able to warm up to Tom even if they were cremated together but Edd really had his heart set on all of his friends getting along so Tord just could not bring himself to say, ‘no’ to his very-best friend. The Norwegian winced slightly in discomfort at how painfully-full his bladder currently was. He had to pee quite a bit before he left the house but since Edd’s house was only a short walk away from his own house, he decided that he could hold it until he got there. After gently knocking on the door to Edd’s house, Tord patiently waited, on the doorstep for his friend to let him inside.

       “Ah, Tord! Glad you could make it!” Edd chimed, adjusting his glasses with his infamous, sweet smile.

       “Of course, I would not miss it for the World…” Tord flashed his friend a shy smile in return. He leaned over slightly, to the right to see who all had attended Edd’s get-together. Almost everyone he knew was there: Matt, Bing, Tim, Elliot, Eddy, Paul, Patrick and of course…Tom. Tord nervously shrunk down when Tom stood up from the couch, sending a venomous glare in the Norwegian’s direction as he did so.

       “Well, come on in!” Before Tord could even have a chance to register what had happened, Edd placed his arm around the Norwegian’s shoulders and forcefully pulled him into the living-room of his house. Tom sneered slightly at the Norwegian’s shy behavior as he mentally questioned why Edd had portrayed him as such a gun-wielding, psychopath in his cartoon series. Tom had actually been afraid of Tord when Edd had left the two alone with each other for the first time. Imagine his disappointment when he realized that the Norwegian was nothing more than just some socially-awkward, quiet kid.

       “We were just about to watch ‘Twenty-Eight Weeks Later’!” Once again, before Tord could register what had happened, Edd was practically pushing him toward the couch, toward Tom.

       “I know you two got off to a bit of a rocky-start but now’s your chance to bond! Play nice!” Edd half-joked before once again leaving Tord alone with Tom to retrieve the snacks and drinks for the movie from his kitchen. Tord shyly glanced up to make eye-contact with Tom, returning his nervous gaze to the floor with a small whimper once Tom had narrowed his eyes at him in response. Tord shifted slightly as the nervousness he often felt around the other boy had increased his urge to urinate. He had actually forgotten that his bladder needed to be emptied up until now but he decided against excusing himself to Edd’s toilet out of an irrational fear that Tom might mock him for having a bladder that needed to be emptied like any, other human-being.

       “You are incredibly hopeless…” Tom scoffed at the Norwegian’s awkwardness before returning to his seat, on the couch with a roll of his eyes. Tord frowned as that comment had done nothing to sooth his self-consciousness. The Norwegian awkwardly took a seat on the couch, next to the Brit. It was no secret by now that he and Tom were not fond of each other in the slightest but Tord was still willing to attempt to form a bond with the Brit for Edd’s sake.

       “I hope you two are getting along in here.” Edd tried once again as he and Matt returned with a bunch of snacks and drinks in hand.

       “Hardly…He’s so boring!” Tom spat, causing Tord to shamefully avert his gaze to the floor.

       “Tom! Stop being so rude!” Edd scolded as he took a seat on the couch, next to Tord. Matt squeezed himself onto the couch, next to Edd as Paul and Patrick stole the recliners and Edd’s remaining guests crowded on the floor, around the couch. Bing got the movie started before joining a majority of his friends on the floor and the not-so small get-together of friends began to watch the movie. Poor Tord could barely focus on the movie as his desperation to relieve his full bladder had increased from uncomfortable to unbearable.

       A small whimper escaped from the Norwegian as he nervously bit his bottom-lip and shifted in discomfort. He knew that he would not be able to hold in his urine through the entire movie but he decided that he would wait until another boy had gone to the bathroom so he could offer to accompany him. He just silently prayed that whoever that boy was would not be Tom.

       “Hey, what’s the matter with you?” Tom questioned about twenty minutes into the movie when Tord had reached the point of desperation where it was impossible for him to sit still.

       “H-Huh? Oh, I am just a bit restless from sitting here for so long…” Tord whimpered out a lie as he tightly crossed one of his legs over the other.

       “Okay?” Tom cocked an eyebrow at the Norwegian’s response. He just found Tord to be so socially-awkward, that it was almost uncomfortable to be around him. Tom could not help but notice how Tord flinched and winced in discomfort with another pained-whimper at the fizzy sound of the Brit cracking open one of the numerous cans of soda that Edd had brought over to the coffee-table for everyone.

       “Oh, I see what’s going on here…” Tom whispered with a small smirk.

       “H-Huh? What do you mean?” Tord questioned after a while once he was absolutely certain that Tom was speaking to him.

       “You have to go to the toilet, don’t you?” Tom teased, his smirk growing more sadistic when Tord’s face had reddened at the accusation.

       “W-What? N-No…I told you, I am just a bit restless…” Tord attempted to lie once again but the strain in his voice had completely given him away to the Brit.

       “Oh, really? Because you look like you’re about to pee yourself…” Tom teased as he gently poked the other boy in the side of his abdomen. Tom’s face began to heat up as well at the strange but pleasant sensation he was beginning to feel in his nether-regions at the sight of Tord recoiling in agony in response to the poke that had just been delivered to his side. Was Tom getting aroused by Tord trying not to wet his pants?

       “Does the big, bad, scary Commie have to go potty? Maybe you should ask Edd to make an Omorashi Hentai, starring you…” Tom continued to tease the poor boy.

       “C-C…Cut it out…” Tord whimpered. Luckily, the other boys were too absorbed into the movie’s plot to notice the two’s rather, inappropriate conversation but Tord decided that he would hold in his urine until the movie was over, just to prove a point to Tom. After over an hour of whimpering and fidgeting, the movie had finally ended, much to Tord’s relief.

       “Tord, could you help me with the dishes?” Edd requested, just as Tord thought he was free to relieve himself.

       “O-Of course, Edd…” Tord reluctantly agreed, provoking a snicker from Tom. He was still too shy to admit his desperate need to everyone else, especially Edd, even if he did feel like so much as a cough or sneeze would cause him to lose control of his bladder and wet himself in front of everyone he knew. The sensation of sticking his hands in warm water along with the gentle, splashing noises and the sound of running water were almost too much for the poor Norwegian as he assisted his friend with washing there dishes. Poor Tord had to cross his legs as he stood at the sink just to keep from losing control right there, in front of Edd, though a few leaks did manage to escape, dampening his boxers a little bit.

       Once they had finished putting away the last of the dishes, Matt had entered the kitchen to strike up a conversation with Edd about the recent animation he had released. Tord took this opportunity to finally sneak off to the bathroom but just as he thought he would finally be able to relieve his painfully-full bladder, he quickly discovered, much to his horror that someone else was in the bathroom.

       “Just a minute!” Tom called from the other side of the door. He then snickered mischievously as he turned on the sink. He really did not have to use the bathroom, he just wanted to pick on the socially-awkward, Norwegian boy that he just happened to share a mutual-friend with.

       “Oh no…” Tord squeaked at the sound of the running water as he quickly shoved his hands into his crotch to suppress the torrent of urine that was threatening to burst through.

       “No-o…” Tord whimpered as he dropped to his knees, hands still buried tightly into his crotch. He was too late, the torrent of urine he had been holding in for hours finally burst from the tip of his member and soaked the front of his Kaki-jeans with a loud, hissing noise that echoed throughout Edd’s hallway.

       “O-Oh my…” Tom had exited the bathroom at this point and had immediately begun to laugh at the poor Norwegian’s predicament. The sight of Tord’s wet crotch, however had caused that strange sensation to return to his member once again.

       “Again, Tord? I told you to stop being so shy about telling us when you need the toilet…” Edd scolded as he approached his Norwegian-companion to help him up. Tord wanted so badly to just die as he immediately began to cry softly from humiliation.

       “Again?! You mean this happens regularly?! Does he have the bladder of a puppy or something?!” Tom teased, causing Tord’s crying to become more hysterical.

       “Tom!” Edd scolded once again as he pulled his Norwegian-friend into a gentle hug.

       “It’s okay, Tord…Let’s get you cleaned up…” Edd attempted to sooth the sobbing-Norwegian as he lead him toward his bedroom.

       “What?” Tom questioned when he looked up to see all of his and Edd’s mutual-friends, including Matt glaring at him with a look of disapproval.

       “That was kinda mean, Tom…” Matt replied sternly.

       “Oh, come on! He was so awkward! He was practically begging to be messed with!” Tom tried but everyone merely walked past him to help Edd comfort Tord. Tom may have found the real Tord boring but at least he could get some entertainment out of him the next time he was forced to be around him.

War of the Magizoologists (Newt Scamander X Reader)

Prompt: Imagine Newt and you are both magizoologists and are both extremely competitive about their schools. You take Newt to Ilvermorny to try and prove that it’s the best school there. Ha, what could go wrong… seriously.  

Word Count: 3, 201 (Omg, it’s so long)

A/N: This was a collaboration with @she-who-nailed-it who is basically one of the best writers out there, so seriously check her out because she is honestly the best! I wrote Newt’s script and she wrote the reader’s scrip, and then she wrote the narrative. AND MIGHT I ADD SHE DID AMAZING!




It was a cold day in New York. The kind of day where it was super bleak and boring, and basically ultra-depressing. In fact it was downright hellish, with the biting wind and ice cold rain water, naturally not cool enough to snow. 

Your temper was not great. The weather didn’t improve it. You were feeling peevish and grumpy as you stood at the door, waiting for Newt. You began to tap your foot impatiently and called out, “Newt! Hurry up! I’ll be late! And the teachers can’t be late!”

 A sour expression plastered itself onto your face as you saw Newt pop his head out of his room. He hadn’t even got his coat on. “But I haven’t said goodbye to my creatures yet!” He complained. 

A sour expression plastered itself onto your face as you saw his so called “innocent face”. 

Your sour expression deepened as you snapped back angrily, “Mr. Scamander, are you serious? Just bring one of your creatures with you for show and tell! Now hurry up, please!” 

Newt could sense your displeasure in the situation and gave you a slightly awkward lopsided smile. It was a horribly fake smile, but Newt didn’t care. He turned to grab his coat and then stuffed Pickett into his pocket gently. Newt muttered quietly under his breath, “She’s treating me as though I’m one of her students. Why did the Ministry sign me up for this?” 

You overheard Newt talking to his little friend. “I can hear you, you know,” You expressed dramatically, stomping over to Newt and holding out your hand. “Since Ilvermorny is in Massachusetts we’ll have to Apparate. Kindly take my hand?” 

Newt looked down at your hand. Chances are you had poisoned your hand or something and were trying to kill him. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary Miss (L/N). I am perfectly capable of Apparating myself,” he replied back curtly. You might have been cute, but there was no way he was going to take your hand when you were in one of THOSE kinds of mood. 

You snorted. “Suit yourself, Mr. Scamander but don’t blame me if you get lost.” You then proceeded to Apparate, leaving Newt alone in the house. 

Newt began to hum a little as he pulled out his wand. He chided softly to Pickett, “Oh I’ll show her wrong.” And then he too vanished off to Ilvermorny, ready to prove you wrong, and maybe try to impress you. 


Ilvermorny loomed above Newt as he got his balance back. Ilvermorny was quite different from what he imagined it to be. Possibly smaller than Hogwarts, but not by much. It was definitely newer looking, it was 630 years newer in fact. There were children pouring out of the building and running to different classes, definitely more students than at Hogwarts. 

You began to furiously fight your way through the mass amount of students. “Okay, don’t get lost, don’t torment my students, and fore heaven sakes, don’t talk too much, this is my class,” You instructed out loud, sounding bossier than you meant to sound. 

Newt tripped slightly as he tried to catch up with you. It was like Hogwarts, but not at all at the same time, which threw him off. “Don’t worry, I won’t steal your job. Worrying means you suffer twice,” Newt replied, looking around in amazement at the architect designing. 

The two of you walked down a long hall full of children, their voices bounced off the marble walls, causing so much noise and chaos that it frightened Pickett. Newt had to hold his hand over his pocket to keep Pickett from freaking out too much. 

You took Newt down another hall and into a classroom. Newt admired the room. It was full of elaborate drawings of all kinds of creatures. Even creatures he had never seen before, which was rare. At the bottom of each drawing he saw your initials signed on the parchment paper. 

The teenagers were all milling about when the two of you came into the room. You cleared your throat and tucked a lock of hair behind your ear as you then proceeded to call out, “Class, settle down, please. This is Mr. Newt Scamander and he’s also a magizoologist, but he’s from Hogwarts and he—” 

“Oh, is he your man, professor?” A boy snickered. He had a strong Boston accent and was leaning on his desk casually, smirking and wiggling his eyebrows. 

The room filled with soft amused chuckling. Everyone knew you were too pretty to be single, but also too feisty that no man really wanted you. You flushed red, refusing to look at Newt. “Owen, please be quiet,” you instructed, still refusing to glance at the handsome Brit who was awkwardly standing next to you. “As I was saying—” 

“Notice how she didn’t deny it?!” Owens ooo-ed again, his smirk growing bigger as your blush became redder. 

Now completely furious, you walked over to Newt and gave him an accusing glare, as if this were all his fault. You whispered into Newt’s ear, “Don’t just stand there! Introduce yourself, Mr. Scamander!” 

Now Newt had gone red in the face. He coughed a little and then walked closer to the class, his hands deep into his pockets as he said softly, “Er—right. Yes, I’m Newt Scamander and NO we have NO interest in each other. At all. This is strictly a professional visit, for there have been some rumours that your teacher has been, quote from MACUSA: Slacking off and has limited knowledge on magical creatures.” Newt straightened up as he talk, his ego clearly showing as he became more confident with every word. He smirked at you a little. “So I am here now to show you the true beauty of this class!” 

Owen piped up again. “Oh he’s a Brit! Damn, Professor (L/N), I didn’t know you had a thing for accents!” 

Oh yes you did have a thing for accents. But you weren’t going to let this little upstart brat know. Nor were you going to let little Mr. Know Everything about Beasts know either, thank you very much! “Owen, shut up. He’s not, uh, my type,” You glanced at Newt and then frowned, hastily shoving him away from your desk. “As we all know, Mr. Scamander is simply here to see how Ilvermorny is truly better. Now, who knows about bowtruckles? Mr. Scamander, you have the right to remain silent.” You smirked maliciously at Newt. 

Newt huffed and then proceeded to innocently sit behind your desk, despite what you had commanded him not to do. 

A student piped up, “Ummm, they’re like super big right?” 

Another kid threw in, “Yeah. And they can fly!” 

You did a facepalm. And Newt stood up indignantly. “Professor,” Newt began, walking closer to you. “Have you taught these kids nothing? All the students at Hogwarts know everything about bowtruckles. But no worries, that’s why I’m here!” Newt proudly took out Pickett, who looked a little sleepy. He grinned as the class chorused together an awed ohhhhh! Newt then smirked a lopsided grin back at you. 

Once again getting red in the face you closed the gap up between the two of you and tried to shove Newt out of the way. “Okay, Newt, that’s quite enough, I have to teach—” 

“Look! She’s on first term names with Mr. Scamander! I knew something was going on!” A girl cried out, giggling an annoying laugh. 

“MR. SCAMANDER… kindly step aside,” You commanded, literally pushing Newt out of the way. “And let me take over?” You saw some of the students smirk and raise their eyebrows at your audacity to make physical contact with this Brit. Flustered, you cleared your throat again and then again. And then finally mustered out, “Uh… yes… Bowtruckles… ahhh…” Wow. SO intelligent for a professor. 

Owen laughed a rude laugh and sneered, “No wonder MACUSA sent Mr. Scamander! Maybe he’ll replace Professor Slacker!” 

You gave a slightly spacey dejected look, realizing that Newt was clearly the favorite here. Newt noticed your slightly jealous facial expressions and coughed a little bit. “Unfortunately for you, I’m not searching for a new job, much less want to take one from someone who has much, much more to learn…” Newt commented, giving a little small dramatic sigh and smirking at you. “HOWEVER, I am delighted to help in any way that I can for now. Bowtruckles are small creatures that are immensely difficult to spot, usually hiding in their tree in parts of England, Germany and Scandinavia.” 

Newt gently set the shy Pickett down and a small cluster of students formed around the creature. Pickett soon got used to the ooos and ahhhs and began strutting around a little, soaking up the attention. “Ohhh! He’s so cute! May I touch him? Does he have a name?” A female student asked, obviously eager to touch or pet the creature, as most teenage girls are. 

Newt beamed, pleased with how well things were going. “Of course you can! And his name is Pickett, for you see, these magnificent beasts are able to unlock locks. However, when threatened they will unhesitatingly gouge your eyes out.” Newt gave a slight chuckle. And the students backed away. And one of the students gave a scream. Newt then looked at you expectantly. “Miss Y/N, would you like to hold him?” 

You glared at Newt. “Kindly don’t scare my students!” You hissed at Newt. But you none the less picked up the Bowtruckle with careful hands. Giving a slight nervous giggle, you tried to calm down the students. “See? There’s nothing to be afraid of. Okay, Mr. Scamander you can have him back now!” You hastily gave Pickett back to Newt. “Okay, now class, Mr. Scamander and I will be—” 

“Demonstrating how to french kiss?” Owens perked up, giving an innocent look at his teacher. 

“Owen, you have approximately 1 second to shut up, or I’ll send an owl to your parents. Please respect your teacher and Mr. Scamander who is only here because he can’t go back to Hogwarts,” You said passive aggressively, glancing in Newt’s direction. 

Newt replied airily back, “Oh, I wish I was at Hogwarts right now. A much better school than this horrid place.” He returned the smirk back to you. 

Owen, who was now thoroughly enjoying this secret war, said boisterously, “Enough about that, demonstrate the snogging already!” 

You were completely at a loss for words, luckily for you the school bell rang and students began to scurry around and pack up. You blew out a breath of air, wishing you were dead right about now. 

“Yeah no, not today, buddy. Scurry along now, or I’ll have the Swooping Evil come after your brains tonight!” Newt teased, wiggling his eyebrows and jostling Owen playfully. 

Owen just gave Newt a weird look. “What the heck is a Swooping Evil?” Newt turned slowly to you. You bit your lip and refused to make eye contact. “Have you not taught these pupils anything? That’s preposterous,” Newt insisted, giving you a stern look. 

You hastily shoved Owen away, who still looked confused. “Okay, that’s enough for today! I’ll see you tomorrow, Owen, make sure you send me that report why Ilvermorny is the best school!” You gave a high pitched chuckle hoping that Newt wasn’t about to kill you with his judgmental stare. 

“Will do, teacher. Just remember to write a report on why you like that Brit’s hair!” Owen laughed, he gave a sly look at you and Newt, like he was trying to decide how your children would look. 

“Owen, I swear to God, if you don’t leave right now, I will…” You breathed deeply and let the air out. “Tell your parents.” You couldn’t really threaten the student with murder, that would kinda be like… bad. A lot bad. 

Owen raised his hands in surrender. “Alright alright,” Owen chided softly, backing up slowly. “See you later, Mr. and Mrs. Scamander!” And then he proceeded to run like a madman away from the two flustered grownups. 

You were now red and incredibly indignant. “I could punch that boy!” You growled, your voice strained with anger. 

“You really shouldn’t go around threatening students, no matter how obnoxious they may be,” Newt paused, realizing that he was being incredibly hypocritical since he did just threaten to send a swooping evil after Owen. “In a way, I’d say it’s your fault you haven’t earned their respect. That’s what the professors at Ilvermorny clearly lack.” 

Your shoulders slumped a little. Newt was right. You weren’t cut out for this job. You weren’t sure if anyone was cut out for this job. A small thought came to you. You walked up to Newt giving him a slight amused looked. “Well,” You started slowly. “Even if I don’t have classroom respect, it would seem I have your respect, otherwise you wouldn’t want to be around me, am I right, Mr. Scamander…?” You gave him a slight smirk and winked at him before turning around and tightening up a bit. 

Newt stammered back, “Well maybe you have earned my respect. I do find it remarkable how you can deal with these children every day. Now I’m just finding a way to earn your respect, you’re like a new creature to me, Miss (L/N).” Newt realized what he just said, blushed scarlet, and then did a facepalm. “Er, not that I need to earn your respect or anything…?” 

You gave a small smile. “Well. Uh, um,” wow. So intelligent. “Now that I think about it, I guess I look up to you so much that I want to prove myself to you…” You fiddled nervously with a notebook. Did you make any sense at all? Or were you just spewing weirdo’s crap? 

“Is that the reason why that notebook is covered with my name?” Newt pointed to the notebook in your hand, which had hearts and Newt’s full name on it. Newt didn’t find it creepy, surprisingly, mildly charming actually. “There is really no need for you to prove yourself, Y/N. I can already see that you are a striving Magizoologist and I shouldn’t be trying to knock your spirits down, although Owen has probably already done that countless times.” 

You looked down at your notebook and blushed, hastily shoving it behind your back. “Oh my gosh, Mr. Scamander!” You squawked. You hastily cleared your voice and coughed a little, trying to preserve what little pride you had left. “You haven’t been knocking out my spirit. You make it fly, and to be honest,” You then closed the gap between you and Newt. “I rather enjoy the witty banter.” 

Newt’s breathing quickened. “As do I. Uh, please call me Newt,” Newt breathed gently. Feeling confident, he lightly brushed a loose strand of hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. 

Likewise feeling bold, you stood on tippy toes and gently kissed Newt on the cheek. Realzing what you just did, you backed up, “Uh… oh, sorry! I hope that was alright! I wasn’t thinking!” You began to freak out even more, waiting for Newt to walk away or get angry. 

Newt just blinked and turned bright red. “A rebellious side I see? That was rather unprofessional, Y/N, now wasn’t it? But…” Newt slowly said. “I like how you don’t mind breaking the rules.” Those words made your heard give a little jump. The next second was a blur, as Newt gently pushed your back up against a desk, cupping your cheeks and swooping down to kiss your mouth. 

You gave a little whimper of surprised but happily kissed him back, enjoying the warmth of the kiss and the body heat. Right as it was growing rather intense, someone had to ruin it all, naturally. “Teacher, I forgot…” 

Boy, did you push Newt away. You thought Newt was going to fall backwards and land on his behind. A complete guilty look plastered across your face, as you hastily tried to wipe away the evidence. Oh great. You could see it in the headlines of the school paper. Magizoologist (L/N) hits it off with British Magizoologist, Newt Scamander. 

“I KNEW IT. OHHHH K-I-S-S-I-N-G!” Owen sang high, giving you a triumphant look. 

You were about to go full berserk on him and kill the kiddo, but instead you got a new idea of how to get rid of him. Hopefully much more amusing. Feeling bold, you said, “You’re welcome to watch us, but just so you know, us adults are FAR more capable than just high school kissing…” You snaked your arm around Newt’s neck and grabbed his shirt, pulling him down a bit. 

Owen blushed a little. “Uh…” 

Newt blushed likewise, giving you a slightly frightened look. You hoped that he would play along to get rid of the brat, but naturally his innocent mind couldn’t process what exactly you were trying to get at. “Well that progressed quickly,” Newt whispered very quietly. 

Owen gave another smirk. “Umm, yeah, let me get my camera!” Owen hastily darted off, giggling madly. 

Newt’s eyes grew large. “That’s it you little bugger! Stay here, I’m obvliviating him and don’t go on about school rules, I don’t care!” Newt said, running after Owen. 

You realized your plan had failed. Majorly. You then took off, running after Newt. “MR. SCAMANDER. I. CANNOT. LET. YOU. DO. THAT!” Once you caught up to Newt, you did the only sensible thing in your mind. Tackled him to the ground. Giving a loud shriek, and flailing all over the place, you fell on top of Newt. 

You were too late. Owen had brandished a camera and sapped a couple pictures of the tangled love-birds. Laughing, Owen said giddily, “This will surely be on the front page of the school’s newspaper! Thanks, teacher!” He skipped off happily, singing to himself. 

You let out a loud groan, rubbing your eyes. So. Freaking. Screwed. 

Newt gave you a slightly helpless but amused look, sitting up and gently planting a kiss on your nose. “Maybe I shouldn’t have acted so recklessly. (Y/N), I know that I might’ve caused a little bit of trouble—” 

You gave a sharp snort and rolled your eyes. “Sure just a little,” you sulked sarcastically, crossing your arms and looking away, pretending to admire the quiet corridor. 

Newt gently played with your hair. “But despite everything, I enjoyed my time here. I hope you wouldn’t mind if I stayed a little longer?” 

You blinked, looking at Newt. Newt wanted to stay in New York? With you? Even if it was for a short amount of time, heck, you’d take it. You slowly grinned. “Yeah, I’d love that!” 

“Also, what happened back there…did it mean anything?” Newt asked curiously, as he shifted around under you, trying to find a more comfortable position without causing you to move. 

You gave a smirk. Well played. “I dunno, you tell me…?” 

Newt pushed his lips onto yours, his arms snaking around your waist, pulling you closer to him. “Was that the answer you wanted?” Newt asked you in amusement, studying your speechless face with adoration. “Now…where were we before we were so rudely interrupted…?” 



I hope you liked this! It was super fun to write! If you like this collab, let me or @she-who-nailed-it , that way maybe we can collaborate again!