oh boo you already are one

Call Boy Johnny (Johnny x Reader)

Rating: M 

(A/N) THE MOMENT OF TRUTH HAS ARRIVED PEOPLE. THE SCENARIO YOU HAVE BEEN BEGGING ME FOR OVER AND OVER, I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED IT. HERE HE IS, IN ALL HIS GLORY. CALL BOY JOHNNY! I hope you all enjoy this one as much as I did writing it!! I’M THIRSTIN’ SO HARD RN

P.S. Yes, I’m the same blog as the original Call Boy Yuta smut. I changed my url from @chokemewithjaehyunschoker to @caliboyjaeffrey ! Hope no one get’s confused lol

Originally posted by y-ta

You woke up slowly, the sheets and blankets kicked off in your sleep and tangled in your legs. You felt content as you looked over at your alarm clock, the time being in the late afternoon.  Sleeping in was your passion, you’d stayed up super late the previous night anyway, not too bothered that half the day was gone. You gazed out the one big window in your bedroom, the one that looked out at the bustling city. Snow had fallen last night, dusting over the streets and cars like powdered sugar on pancakes. It didn’t really feel like your birthday, but it wasn’t so bad to wake up on a day as pretty as this one.

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Oh My My

Pairing: Avengers x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1500

Warnings: Still kinda lame, bad pickup lines (that I did not come up with), bad language, sexual innuendos, my writing

(A/N): My friend requested a second, more dirty, part. So, yeah…hope you´re happy. Kinda lamer than the first part, but whatever. And once again, if you see a pickup line/ dirty remark that belongs to you, please message me and I´ll gladly credit you. Enjoy.

Oh My

Summary: You thought you heard the last of me? Ha! Or: The Team attempts to cope with your You-ness.

Originally posted by models-in-motion-gifs

„Can you just…not…do that?“

Steve huffs impatiently, watching you turn and blink at him all too innocently.

“Do what, Captain? Admire the view?”

You gesture behind yourself, towards the small group of people that were currently being shoved into the back of a SHIELD van. Two young, handsome males and a beautiful, blonde female.

“They are terrorists, [Y/N]. Can you at least fake some professionalism?”

You shake your head with an amused smirk, your gaze lingering on him just long enough to see him reach out to massage his temple.

“What am I going to do with you?”

A laugh bubbles up at the back of throat and you turn, sending him a wink over your shoulder as you set into a casual stroll towards his motorcycle.

“My, Captain, I can think of a few things. Might need to stretch first though.”

His annoyed groan only serves to amuse you further, [E/C] meeting his cerulean blue ones just as he sweeps a hand over his slightly reddened face.

“I´m serious, [Y/N]. If you step out of line one more time-“

“You will give me a good spanking, got it, Captain.”

He buries his face in his hands with a shuddering sigh, the flush that spreads across his face delightfully bright.

And I can tell, today´s going to be a good day.


“How did you pull that off?”

Bruce´s disbelieving whisper drags a small chuckle out of you, your grip on his arm tightening insignificantly when he slowly leads you towards the emergency exit, flash-drive with the needed data safely stored in his jackets pocket.

“Like a wise person once said: If you can´t blow them away with your brilliance, baffle them with your bullshit.”

He snorts a laugh, opening the door for you once you´ve made sure that you could slip away undetected.

“You amaze me, [Y/N].”

“And we haven’t even slept together yet.”

You smile teasingly his way, easily slipping into the driver´s seat of your getaway car, while Bruce stands next to it for a few moments, shaking his head in a mixture of amusement and embarrassment.


You´ve had a lot of brilliant ideas in your life- a whole lot, but this, you decide, might just have been one of your very best.

“Please tell me I´m hallucinating…”

Tony´s disbelieving whisper drags a chuckle out of you, [E/C] sparkling in amusement as you push away from the set of suits that both Pepper and you have taken great pleasure in painting bright neon pink.

“Well, I am dreamy, but please do contain yourself, darling.”

He takes a shaky inhale, his eye twitching to the rhythm of his pulse. Or as doctor Cho would have put it, unhealthily fast.

“Don´t worry, it´s not waterproof”

You grin at him, reaching out to plant your lips to his cheek in an attempt to soothe his rattled nerves, before you lean back with a playful smirk on your lips.

“What do you say we get out of here, darling. To blow of some steam. Emphasis on the blow.”

He chokes on thin air, his eyes widening, and you take a picture, laughing at it and his truly priceless expression for the rest of your day-off.


“It´s beautiful”

You turn upon hearing Bucky´s voice, training your eyes onto the item the soldier was currently referring to.

It turned out to be Wanda´s new scarf, a fabric of gorgeous scarlet color that complimented both her powers and leather jacket lovely.

“Suits you”

Clint pipes up from across the room, sending you a quick look that almost begs you to say something also. Preferably something incredibly dirty. And who are you to disappoint?

“Indeed, it does. Maybe if you´re feeling a little frisky you´ll let me use it on you in more existing ways.”

She blushes and buries her face in her scarf, her cheeks as delightfully red as the fabric itself, while you merely take a calm sip of your tea and tone out Clint´s barking laughter.


You never failed to be pleased by Bucky´s delight at the simplest and most basest of things, one of the main reasons why you took to treating the Super Soldier to lunches and dinners every now and again, introducing him to various restaurants, bars and cafés while you were at it too.

“That was mind-blowing”

You grin up at him from behind your burger

“Not usually the circumstances I hear that, but I´ll take it.”

You narrowly dodge a fry that he throws your way, laughing at the small blush that tinted his cheeks as his creative imagination paved a way for, what you are sure, were some incredibly dirty thoughts and pictures.

“I hate you…”


“Wanna watch a movie?”

You smirk at Sam from behind the book that you were reading, teasingly raising a delicate brow.

“Why, Wilson, a little ´Netflix and Chill´ is always welcome”

He raises his own brows in slightly flustered disbelief, turning to Pietro for help only to receive a nonchalant shrug in return.

“Welcome to our world…”

You throw a book at the speedster, watching bemusedly as he calmly dodges it by craning his head to the right.

“Glad I´m flexible, right?”

“Certainly, although I´d love to find out just how flexible you can be, love.”

You treat him to a coy smirk and flirtatious chuckle, ruffling up his hair on your way to the elevator when you take notice of the color that set upon his cheeks.

“You coming or what, Wilson?”

“Me? Oh I-“

“Oh, I´m sure he already came!”

You laugh at Tony´s good natured jab, teasingly beckoning the flustered Sam to join you in the elevator with a wiggle of your index finger.


Patience, to most people´s surprise, had always been one of your strong suits, combined with the fact that you, not very unlike Natasha, were impeccable at stealth, it made you into a force to be reckoned with.

A force that Clint, just like HYDRA, learned to fear. For wholly different reasons.

“Boo”

A girlish shriek rips from his lips and you muster a self-satisfied smirk in return, watching him jump away from you, with clear amusement in your eyes.

“I hate you!”

He grips his chest for emphasis, wheezing and far from amused by your sudden and quite frankly startling appearance.

“Now that, darling, is where I beg to differ. I hold firm to the belief that I´m like walking heroin, very habit forming-“

“And it never ends well”

You chuckle at him and nod, offering him the basket of fries you brought along to share with the Archer.

“Now that this is out of the way, I figured you´d be hungry, after a jump like that.”

Nevertheless the withering look he gives you at the mention of his reaction to your sudden appearance, he takes the basket.

“To think you could be scared of lil´ol´me…”

“I wasn’t scared…”

And after swallowing, he quickly adds

“You´re not scary”

You merely grin at him, the flirtatious twinkle in your eyes unmissable and bright

“Well, in this case, rest assured, darling. I still have some tricks up my sleeve that can make you tremble- perhaps not in fear, but-“

You snort a laugh at him as he chokes on his fries and leave him to his demise, still coughing and red-faced.


“You know”

You crack your knuckles one by one, allowing your gaze to stray from her self-satisfied smirk and onto the heap of whimpering and unconscious HYDRA Agents before you.

“Shattering their bones is one thing, but shattering their bones, stepping on their manly pride and then laughing in their faces…”

You turn to give her a look of mock disappointment

“That´s just cruel”

“So, arrest me”

A teasing, lopsided grin is what it takes for Natasha to realize her mistake. Her green eyes flitting to where your hand is already reaching for your own pair of handcuffs.

“With utmost pleasure

“Don’t you dare”


You found Maria to be a person of utmost grace and intelligence. Someone who, despite being confined to her office for the better part of forever, still had no trouble slipping into the role of an active Agent if need be.

It´s unlike you, and if somebody were to point it out, you would most certainly deny it, but you admired that about her.

So, it came as no surprise to you when your eyes lingered on her frame for a moment longer than they needed to be, watching profanities leave her lips in an enraging volume if only to convince the target that she was truly offended.

Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Natasha´s gaze on you, her own green eyes twinkling in amusement as she watched your lips curl upwards at Maria´s impeccable performance.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Her voice reaches you over the com

“I´d love to make that woman scream for real”

It takes you a moment to realize why Maria cracks for a split-second, a flush setting upon her cheeks.

“She left her com on”

Natasha informs you and not missing a beat, she adds a questioning

“You´ll never stop, will you?”

You merely shake your head, teasingly winking Maria´s way when she sends you a half-hearted glare over the target´s shoulder.

A good day indeed

When their crush kisses their pain away

I might have gone a little overboard, I apologize.  Especially with the word “Boo-boo”.  I’m just imagining these grown ass men using it and cackling like a crazy person. ;)

Originally posted by tuanpumpkins

Mark:

Can you imagine? Like really imagine kissing his pain away?  This bub is already shy, shy, shy!  Let’s set the scene, yeah?  He’s just done one of his fantastic flips, but instead of landing on his feet firmly, he stumbles and falls.  Now he has a bruised knee!  If you rushed over to him in worry, that first and foremost is going to make his heart flutter.  The mere fact that you worry about him is enough to make him giddy, let alone when, after he insists he’s fine, you still lean forward and press a gentle kiss to his throbbing knee.  I think his reaction would depend on what kind of relationship you have with him.  If you are just his crush (I say just, but really can you imagine how freakin awesome it would be if he had a crush on you?  Ugh, nope, I’m not biased at all!), he’s going to get really shy and giggly.  You know that giggle, right?  The one that’s hella adorable and just…omg melt me like some cotton candy in water!  Yeah, that one!  His face will probably turn a tint of pink and if the guys are there you can definitely expect some hoots and hollers.  Mark is the type to appreciate the gesture for sure, albeit a little awkwardly.  Fear not!  This one will likely return the favor at some point.  If you both have been in the relationship for a while, then you can expect him to probably either start laughing and ask you what you’re doing or to just simply coo happily at you.  He’s a muffin, this guy!  “Awww, baby, did you just kiss my boo-boo away?” *cue blushing you* “I think it’s sweet.  Thank you, baby.” *and cue warm, cuddle hug*  

Originally posted by jypnior

JB:

Flustered.  That’s it.  Jaebum seems like the type to be well composed, right?  I mean, we all know he’s a goober, but like, he’s still fairly well composed.  You can kiss that goodbye…literally.  Not only will he have the rest of GOT7 ‘ooo’ing and ‘aaaww’ing at the two of you, much to his embarrassment, but there’s also the fact that he’s still trying to process the fact that you actually kissed his injury.  When he slipped during the dance battle with Yugyeom, he didn’t think you would kiss his smarting shoulder delicately.  He’s tickled pink, as they say!  That flustered expression on his face is just so adorable!  I mean you are his crush and you just laid your lips on him!  Of course, he’ll turn and snap at the other boys to go do something somewhere else, which will make it seem like you’ve upset him, but he’ll quickly reassure you that he appreciated and quite enjoyed your affectionate peck.  So you have flustered Jaebum, right? Well, that’s not all!  Jaebum’s a bit Tsundere, so even though he’ll say things like ‘You don’t have to do that’ or ‘Why are you like this’ deep down he’s thoroughly enjoying the moment.  He’s someone who likes to bask in the affection and attention you shower upon him.  I mean, of course, he would right?  He only has a crush on you!  He’s a sensitive guy….on the inside of course!  “A-ah, you don’t have to do that, it’s really okay.”  “Oh, well, I mean, if you don’t want me to, I guess I–,” *clears throat loudly, looking anywhere but at you* “I-I never said that!”

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[scenario] [request] not so subtle glances

(i tried ok i cant write edgy stuff like this…………) 

22: “I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I don’t notice.”
34: “If you keep looking at me like that we won’t make it to a bed.”

Title: not so subtle glances

Member: Seungcheol 

Genre: slightly suggestive?? lots of kissing // fluff kinda

Word Count: 1235

“Seungkwan, I’m telling you, you cannot leave Seungcheol & I in the same room.” He rolls his eyes at you and continues to tie his laces.

“I won’t take long. I’m going to the store to get more soda and snacks, not flying to China.” He stands and unlocks the front door, humming loudly over the sound of your complaints. “Anyway, we’re just working on a group project, I don’t know why you’re so nervous.”

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Another Lifetime + Sam Holland

Part 2 of the ‘Clair de Lune’ Series.

ANNOUNCEMENT: I’ve decided to make the Clair de Lune into a series! Just a small one, close to four parts, and we’ve already got two up so it’ll be interesting to see how this goes!

Part 1

Summary: Cold hands are difficult to play with, so Sam decides to help with that. Also- Tom hopes for another life time.

Warnings: Slight swearing (from Tom so…), slight fluff, and embarrassingly awkward Sam.

Words: 1,850 

A/N: I’m so happy with how the last one turned out and how well you all responded to it, thank you again! Fun fact! The piece that my piano professor chose for my juries this term is Clair de Lune, how crazy is that?!



The London winter had only just begun, but it seemed to be dragging on. And as you walked up to the Holland house, for the second time that week, you couldn’t help the shiver that climbed up your spine. You knew you needed to remember to wear your mittens, but just couldn’t seem to keep the minuet detail on your mind when there were so many other things bouncing around up there. Those things were mostly thoughts about Sam; about how his arms wrapped around you while his fingers danced over yours, and how he looked at you so shyly but yet, so confidently. You had already had two weeks of lessons, twice a week because he claims that you’re his ‘favorite student’ and you ‘deserve’ special treatment. You blushed at the thought, reaching a pale hand out to ring the door bell, but you didn’t have to. 

Before you could even notify anyone in the house of your existence, Sam was already at the door, ready to open the warm house up to you. You smiled gratefully, walking in and letting his hand graze the small of your back. You weren’t sure why he always did that when guiding or leading you, but you didn’t question it…Nor did you want to. Maybe it was a dominance thing, or maybe it was his way of showing affection? You weren’t sure yet.

Sam leaned down and wrapped your chilled body in his warm embrace, which you accepted cheerily. You pushed your body up against his, pressing your face into his chest, his arms holding you a little firmer than before. After the hug between the two of you the other night, these had become an often occurrence. Something shared between the two of you when none of the others were around, something just for the two of you. And you both liked it that way.

“You’re freezing, darling.” He chuckled as he pulled your shoulders away, peeling your coat off of you and hanging it by the door. You laughed, taking off your shoes and scarf, placing them alongside the maroon coat. “It’s horrid out there!” You exclaimed as the two of you began to walk into the living room, he smiled back at you as he entered the kitchen.

“Would you like some tea?” You hummed in approval, loving the way he had made it the last couple of times. He chuckled as he started the kettle, pulling out two mugs and two tea bags, “Early Grey?” He asked, already knowing my answer. I only looked at him, my eyes dancing as he only smirked back at you. 

“I’m gonna go ahead and go over the song a few times, if that’s okay with you.” He only nodded, giving you a proud, “Of course, love” while smiling back at you. 

As you walked off, Sam turned to watch you. A peaceful smile making it’s way onto his face as you walked around the corner towards the music room. He felt pride well up in his heart when he heard you start the piece flawlessly. He helped you make that, he was the one you came to every week, and he was the one that pushed you to be better. He was falling in love with you, and he was falling hard, and there was no way he could stop it. He could only hope you were doing the same, and he would be sure to catch you.

When he came into the room, setting the mugs on top of the piano, he sat down by you smoothly. He watched you finish out the measures he had told you to work on from the last lesson, noticing how pale your hands were. His eyes filled with concern, and when you looked over at him, yours did too.

“Did it sound bad, I’ve been working really hard-” He cut you off by taking your hands in his, your hands cold to the touch, “Your hands are practically frozen!” He exclaimed, and you blushed looking away. 

“I have poor circulation, I’m used to it.” You chuckled. Sam chuckled lightly with you, taking one of your hands and warming them slowly before moving to the next. All the while speaking in a soft voice while looking up at you through his eyelashes. His fingers massaging and rubbing at your small hands, his touch lighting your cheeks on fire.

“Did you know that when your hands are cold, they move slower than if they were warm? The muscles in your hands are stiff and can’t function properly. So, love, just remember to grab your mittens before you head out.” He said the statement so matter-a-factly that you almost felt like a child being scolded. But he didn’t mean it in that sense at all, and you knew that all too well, so you nodded and smiled at him softly. He kept your hands in his and looked at you with his big brown eyes, your (y/e/c) one’s smiling back at his brightly. 

He quickly stood from the piano, grabbing his mug and taking a sip of his tea. His eyes moved to the piece and he leaned down beside you, pointing to the measures and flipping the pages in the binder you had started. His fingers landed on a group of eighth notes and tapped his finger at them, it was the same trouble spot that had stumped you in the last lesson and he was asking you to do it for him with a mouth full of tea. You chuckled while you nodded, moving your hands to begin playing the notes, succeeding with ease after the time you had spent practicing the measures. He nodded and smiled proudly, “Wonderful, will you do the piece from the beginning to where we stopped last time for me?” 

You nodded enthusiastically, ready to show him the improvement you had made in the short number of days between your lessons. As you played, Sam’s eyes watched you. Even though he should’ve been watching your hands for any mistakes, he only kept his eyes on your face and the concentrated expression that rested on your features. When you finished the piece thus far, you looked over at him, and chuckled as he shook himself out of his trance. 

“Do you want to stay for dinner tonight?” He asked abruptly. You did a subtle double take, opening your mouth lightly. He saw your expression and fearing rejection he quickly continued, “I mean, your parents will be here. So I was only thinking-” 

“Yes, Sam. I’d love to stay.” You rushed out just as he was about to go further into his ramble. Both of you stopped speaking and simply stared at each other. Both too nervous to make a move, both too worried to ruin the normality of the relationship(even if it was anything but normal). 

He nodded with a smile, “Okay-Yeah-Great!” He exclaimed before putting his tea down and moving to sit by you, glancing at the new set of measures he was about to present you with, “Um, this will be quite the challenge…Do you think you’re ready?” He looked at you curiously as you sipped your own tea, breathing in a sigh as you smelt the spices.

“I do have a pretty amazing teacher who can help me out.” You say jokingly, causing the brunette to let out a short laugh as he threw his head back. You smiled widely up at him, more than happy to be the cause of that smile. 


Your parents weren’t even surprised when you told them you were staying for dinner. If they were honest to you, they would tell you that they saw this coming since you and Sam were children, but they wouldn’t put you through that embarrassment. Or so you thought…

“To be honest, we expected this!” Your dad laughed out as your family, minus your older brother, and the Holland’s ate dinner. You were sitting across from Sam, Tom on one side of you and your mother on the other. You cocked an eyebrow at your father as you wiped your mouth, “Sorry dad, what?” 

Oh, your dad is just talking about you and Sam. You two have always been keen to one another.” You choked on your drink, your eyes flying up to meet Sam’s with a blush dusting your cheeks. He had the same look on his face, startled with a deep red blush gliding under his freckles. The both of you started rushing out a sentence simultaneously, but Sam’s holding out longer than yours.

No! We are-aren’t, we aren’t a couple-”

No! We aren’t dating, although I really wouldn’t mind, your daughter is the most beautifully talented person I’ve ever met.” 

All eyes landed on Sam as he rambled on, waving his hands before one flew up to his mouth, shutting it for himself, “I’ve just said that all out loud, haven’t I?” 

You began giggling at Sam’s expression, his eyes meeting yours with a large smile. He was embarrassed to say the least, but your laugh could easily pull him out of his embarrassed haze. The two of you laughed together, the families beginning shortly after, joining in on the awkwardly hilarious moment. 

Once dinner was done, you helped clean with your mum and Nikki, both giggling about the events that took place at the dinner table. You only rolled your eyes with a light pink tint to your lips, giggling along with them. But afterwards, you walked towards their back porch, moving to the tree that sat in the center of the yard. You sat on a curving branch and looked up at the stars through the leaves. 

“You know he was telling the truth, right?” 

Tom was standing on the edge of the stairs that led to the grassy patch, he had his hands shoved in his pockets and his eyes trained on you. He nodded towards the empty branch beside you, waiting till you nodded to move. He came and sat, leaning his back against the trunk and pulling a leg up to be on the branch in between the two of you. 

“What do you mean by telling the truth? Who?” You questioned as you looked back up at the stars, which only made Tom chuckle softly at you and your confusion. You only looked back at him as he laughed, completely oblivious to the subject at hand. 

“Sam! He’s completely in love with you! And tonight only proved it further!” He proclaimed. Your jaw dropped as you began rambling out excuses about why Sam would have said such a thing at dinner like he did. Tom only shook his head multiple times, moving to go back towards the house. He turned about looked at you, moving his eyes over your body slowly, making you feel a blush move up your cheeks.

Damn. He’s right about you, darling. I just wish I could have gotten to you first.” Tom smirked and shook his head slightly, moving to begin his walk up the stairs, “Maybe in another lifetime, eh?” 

Epic Rap Battles of YouTube Egos; Darkiplier vs Antisepticeye

A little project that I didn’t think I’d finish. Once again, huge thanks to @ellynore-moonwood​ for inspiring me to complete this. Tbh, this was difficult since I was trying to think up insults without getting either Dark or Anti out of character, but I think it turned out great~ This is the instrumental that I wanted to use for this rap battle.

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Tips to Reduce Grocery Spending!


I like writing stuff like this. I always get a bit nervous, though. You can only base it off your own experiences and we’re so different. Oh, and because of anxiety but that’s off-topic! I’m motivated by the thought of helping even just one person. Getting a good deal and shopping cheaply is always going to be a miniature obsession of mine. Even if I got hit by a truck of money I’d still want to optimize my grocery cart.

Now, that said. I live in a metropolitan area in the Midwestern USA. Urban and rural dwellers face different challenges with food prices and food accessibility, and that variation becomes even more widespread by region and by country. Some of these are applicable to most people, but I’d really encourage anyone with experience in different locales, regions, and countries to flesh out their own tips as well.

  • Base recipes around many of the same ingredients: Notice how a lot of recipes start the same way? Onion, garlic, celery, carrot? Potato? Diced tomatoes? If you write out your meal plan to share common ingredients each given week, you won’t be buying a million different ingredients.
  • Make a shopping list and a meal plan: It isn’t everyone’s style, but I find having a decently clear idea of what I want for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks stops a lot of impulse buying and “what the Hell do I do with this now?” when I get it all home. It also gets me out of the store faster and I’m all about the lifestyle. Time is money.
  • Keep bulk cooking recipes in your repertoire and embrace leftovers:  I’m planning to write an in-depth guide on bulk cooking in the future. There are tons of stews, chilis, curries, and casseroles that can be made in excessive quantities for around $20 or less. Keep some in the fridge fresh to eat right away, and freeze the rest! You can pull them down for lunch or dinner whenever you need them. Also, leftovers. I know some people struggle to eat the same food many times in a row, but it definitely adds up quickly to prepare new meals for every day. Having your freezer stocked with these bulk cooked foods can provide the relief you need from any monotony in your meal plan that week.
  • Make classic and common ingredients the staples of your meals: We’re often enticed to try out the hot new foods trending in the blogosphere and news reports, but personally I find they’re mostly convoluted marketing terms and tangent reminders to eat fruits, vegetables, and whole grains. You don’t need goji berries, pomegranates, pre-made green smoothies, chia seeds, or any of the nonsense the computer screen is screaming at you to eat. Many common foods of yore are often just as, and sometimes more, beneficial as trendy foods. Cabbage, spinach, potatoes, carrots, apples, bananas, peanut butter, eggs, dried beans, rolled oats, and dried brown rice are some of the major workhorse foods that are extremely cheap.
  • Don’t shun frozen and canned ingredients: You know what’s kind of expensive? Buying enough fresh tomatoes to make pasta sauce or tomato based stews. Berries, for much of the year. And, several more. Depending on how old the produce on your store shelf is, it’s not uncommon for flash-frozen fruits and vegetables to actually have retained more of the nutrition, too.
  • Shop sales: This sounds a little obvious, but flip open the ad for your favorite shop and see what specials they’re running. Plan some meals that pull in some of the items your store is offering up for cheap that week!
  • Buy produce that is in-season: Take a clue of what to buy based on what the Earth is currently providing your location. It will be fresher, taste better, and have traveled shorter distances, too. There are good lists out there about what’s seasonal and when. It will vary by climate, of course. There are also some fruits and vegetables that are always available at decent prices. Ahem, another plug for bananas.
  • Buy in bulk when possible: Understandably, this isn’t always an option. However, if the stars align and you find yourself with a few extra bucks and chicken quarters are on sale for something crazy like $.49/lb, load ‘em up. Freeze ‘em up. I also find that canned tomatoes or cooking stock will go on great sales and I’ll snatch a few extra up to shave a few dollars off in the long run.
  • Check if your favorite grocery spot does e-coupons and rewards: Coupons for stuff I actually eat is a bit of a rarity. Seriously, 80% of them are junk food and plastic bags. Boo. Oh, how much I’d love it you got coupons for produce. However, many stores offer digital coupons and rewards for shopping at their store. On occasion, I’ll snatch one up for an actual food item I want, but the real hook and sinker is my store of choice has a rewards program. Spend $200 in four weeks? Bam, $5 off your next basket. Uhm, yes please? It usually means you’ll have to become loyal to that store but if you’re already besties, why not?
  • Water is now your favorite beverage: There are a million reasons to drink water. I’m not saying you can never have your favorite refreshments, but supporting a serious coffee, juice, or soda habit can really add up. If you’re fortunate enough to have great tap water, it’s almost free. If you need filtered water or water bottles, it’s still less money over time when you make it your main squeeze.
  • Eat a little less meat: This sometimes gets people’s panties in a twist but you know what? Meat’s expensive, fam. Sometimes absolutely nothing I care for is on sale, either. We usually only eat it for dinner, but occasionally the divination of my holy document, the sales ad, imparts the words “vegetarian week.” Do what works for you, but I think it’s always very valid advice when trying to get a grocery bill down.

anonymous asked:

Hello! Can I make a GOT Jamie Lannister x reader fic where he always gives the reader hickies for loads of reasons like when he's jealous or times when he wants to tease or distract the reader or just if he needs comfort. Thanks xx

Pairing: Jaime Lannister x Reader
Fandom: GoT ; ASoIaF
Warnings: /

A/N: you know how much I love jaime lannister requests, I just.. ugh. this man. well, anyways, just something short and hopefully what you wanted! thanks boo <3

                                                            *****

“(Y/N)! Did someone hit you?!” your friend, Danira, asked, already turning your head to the side to inspect the bruises that were sitting on your neck.

“What? Oh, no.. Don’t worry. No one hit me,” you softly pushed her hand away and smiled reassuringly at her. “They’re not really bruises, if you know what I mean.”

You bit your lip, the smile already turning into a grin and Danira only needed about 5 seconds before her facial features changed and she started laughing.

“Oh my! Who is it?!”

“You wouldn’t believe me, if I told you.”

“Well, try me, then.”

For a moment you debated with yourself, whether or not to tell her the truth. She was your best, and probably only friend in King’s Landing and you could trust her more than anyone else. And honestly, you’ve been wanting to tell someone about this ‘secret lover’ of yours for a while now and you doubted that Danira would tell anyone. Apart from the fact that both of you were mere handmaidens and that no one would believe her if she said something, she probably wouldn’t gain anything out of it anyways.

So you simply grabbed her hand and pulled her along, until you were standing in the gardens.

5 feet away, from none other than Jaime Lannister.

Danira started giggling.

“Oh, you didn’t!”

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Facing the Beast

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Characters: Kim Jongin x Reader

Warning/s: Bad people ;( jk traumatic flashbacks, verbal bullying. If it triggers you, please do not read

Summary: As you see your old friends, Jongin stays by your side and helps you face your fears.

A/N: This has been in my drafts for a while, so I apologize for being inconsistent with posting!

I’m sorry as well if this is a little shitty bc I’m lacking inspiration nowadays! This totally came out of nowhere, haha okay enjoy!

Originally posted by dazzlingkai


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Game Grumps Glitches and Freakouts Starters
  • "Whoa whoa whoa whoa! Whoa?"
  • "What is happening?!"
  • "What was that????"
  • "AAAAAAUGH DAMMIT!"
  • "You wanna fuckin' fight? You wanna throw down? I'm fine with that! You piece of shit!"
  • "I don't like ham, and I'm allergic to FUUUUCK!"
  • "That was like real space. That was some shit that would happen in real space."
  • "Looks like the keyboard player died and is face down on that one chord."
  • "Go uphill, it'll be great!"
  • "Why am I doing backflips???"
  • "*Hysterical laughter*"
  • "Woops..."
  • "Ooookay, bad example."
  • "Then I go up here and I PRESS THE BUTTON."
  • "They were not-- AAAAAAAAAH!"
  • "___________, please!"
  • "*Maniacal laughter.*"
  • "I WIN. MY WIN."
  • "This soon? Already?"
  • "Jennifer dumped me."
  • "That's not good."
  • "Gama Ovar?"
  • "You'll save 50% or more on FUCKING GODDAMN BULLSHIT FUCK!"
  • "Flying around at the speed of sound. Ba boop ba ba boop boo."
  • "You are just disappearing into shit."
  • "Where are we? Oh, God!"
  • "I though you were, how you say, fucked."
  • "How the fuck do I do it?"
  • "Yeah, I guess I'm ready!"
  • "I. AM. NOT OK."
  • "AGH! *Smash* *Smash* *Smash* DAMMIT!"
  • "Everything I know is a lie!"
  • "And you're dead."
  • "I'm the shadow of the guitar."
  • "NOOOOOO! FUCK EVERYTHING!"
  • "YOU PIECE OF HAIRY GARBAGE."
  • "Didn't go well?"
Male MC: Mystic Messenger; Causal Route: Prologue

 This is the regular MM story but with a male MC!! Whoohoo let the romance commence! 

List | Mobile List | Next Hour {7am and 8am}


Zack  shoved his hands in his pockets as he waited for the new app to download. He stared at the screen as he sat in the warm coffee shop sipping an iced coffee as the world outside him turned into a dull grey. Autumn was coming—his favorite time of year— and the outside world was becoming a dark place, well in the sense that the sun was covered. The download completed. “RFA Chatroom” is what it was called. He didn’t know how exactly he found it but it intrigued him nonetheless.

“YO YOU GUYS! HERE’S THE TING! YA!!!” is what the description said. No ratings, no reviews, around six downloads. It was dangerous to download weird apps but his virus and malware protector on his phone said it was clean. Things had been rather lonely ever since Zack moved to this country. He wasn’t exactly a friendly happy-go-lucky kind of man so making new friends was rather hard. The biggest thing contributing to his loneliness was his unhappiness. He hadn’t felt someone need him. Parts of him were wondering why he was even here.

So maybe just faking happiness in some random chatroom would be good for him. He opened the app feeling a bit panicked as the app loaded. Setting up his account he named himself Akane. Yeah why not screw it. He’d fake happiness and pretend to be someone else.  For a moment his screen fritz but then…

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some people get a freak out of me

summary:  It’s not that Jeremy really believes in the paranormal any more than Trevor does; it’s just that he’s apparently the only one of them with any self-preservation instincts. He’s just not ruling out the existence of ghosts, so it’s reasonable to be a little more on edge when Trevor’s busy harassing the supernatural. He’s not really scared. Honestly.
Well, maybe a bit spooked.
Possibly.

treremy, fluffy ghost hunter au, wc: 1847    on ao3

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Rocking The Cradle Chapter 1

As I near the end of my first big fanfic, I kinda wanted to post it here to see what the general Tumblr community thinks of it. If the first chapter does relatively well here then I’ll be happy to post the others. Anyway, please enjoy my first Miraculous Ladybug fanfic


‘Who comes up with this shit?’

She stared down at the assignment blinking. Early Parenting Project, the words stared back at her like a really lame joke. Who the hell came up with the concept of letting lycée students adopt orphans for a school year just to teach them about parenthood? Marinette pinched the bridge of her nose in annoyance. While the project itself was fine albeit a bit odd, she was far more concerned about how she would balance that, regular school work, a semi decent social life and oh of course BEING LADYBUG. The last thing she needed was to fight akumas with a juice box in her hand instead of her yoyo. She took a very deep sigh.

‘My life is so comically shitty’

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b1oodbound  asked:

Sheith Family AU prompt! Shiro and Keith get in an argument after the kids go to summer camp for a week. Shiro thinks it'll be good for the kids and Keith thinks that they're too young to go. Long story short, it ends up with a heated make out session after Keith realizes that the kids are gonna grow up.

What’s up with all the argument thing lately for The Voltron Family? HAHHAHA Yknow I realized, Keith and Shiro ARE married here. Yet they don’t make out or anything. :))) I mean, not in front of the kids anyways ;) 

Keith: *places the keys on the table* I can’t believe you, Shiro.
Shiro: Oh, come on, Keith. You know one day it’ll happen.
Keith: They’re out there without us. I’ve never liked summer camps. *furrows eyebrows* I bet Hunk is probably crying now.
Shiro: You baby them too much. You know that right?
Keith: *scoffs* Because they are!  I’m sorry for caring too much.
Shiro: You know I didn’t mean it that way.
Keith: That’s exactly how it sounded like to me.
Shiro: If we don’t make them do things on their own without our help, how will they ever learn?
Keith: I get that, sure. But summer camp? They need our guidance, not other people’s whom they are not comfortable with!
Shiro: *rolls eyes* You’re over reacting and you know that?
Keith: Me? Overreacting?! I’m worried here that some psycho will be there and our kids can’t defend themselves! 
Shiro: God, you’re so hot when you’re angry. 
Keith: Don’t you dare pull that shit on me right now, Shiro.
Shiro: *comes closer* Really hot when you curse, too.
Keith: Shi–

Shiro just leans in and kisses Keith softly first. He pulled him closer so he can ran his hands through Keith’s hair. It took a while until Keith gave up and just kissed back. It was a long make out session. They were now on the sofa with Shiro on top of Keith–clothes on and all, they’re just kissing after all. (No hanky panky, kids). The kisses went from really rough to hungry then to lazy. 

When they separated, Shiro looked at Keith. Smiling.

Shiro: *breathlessly* That was—amazing.
Keith: *laughs* Dork.
Shiro: Why are we not doing this all the time? *gives Keith a soft peck on the lips* I mean, this just feels so good.
Keith: *rolls eyes* We can’t because of the kids.
Shiro: *goes in for another peck* Will *kiss* You *kiss* Marry *kiss* Me? *one last peck*
Keith: Oh my god. We’re already married. *chuckles* 
Shiro: But I wanna marry you again. 
Keith: *abruptly stops laughing* Shiro… 
Shiro; *pampers Keith’s face with kisses* 
Keith: You do know this doesn’t mean our discussion is over. Just because you’re doing this–
Shiro: *pouts* Boo. I thought it worked.

IDK WHAT I TYPED BUT TAKE IT ANYWAYS!!! (づ ๏ ‿ ๏ )づ

The Wedding Series (The Day Before - ShikaTema)

Disclaimer: none of the characters mentioned belong to me.

This is the first of the three ShikaTema parts in The Wedding Series, set after the NaruHina parts and before the LeeTen and SasuSaku parts. 

This is my personal take on how I like to imagine Shikamaru and Temari would act about/before their wedding day.

I very much hope you like this part! 

Enjoy!

.   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .

The Nara Compound was buzzing with life that morning, full of the talk and excitement of the following day. Nobody could quite believe it was happening; they’d always viewed Shikamaru as the solitary type, even more so than his father had been. So the news he’d found a woman he didn’t deem too annoying to be around consistently came as a well welcomed shock to the entire Clan, and especially so with Yoshino Nara.

Being his mother she knew Shikamaru better than any other, and often she took pride in it. To an outsider, she had a seemingly unpleasant power over the young man, and even to him and his late father, Yoshino was quite the scary mother. However, he understood her love for him and that all she wanted was for him to only gain and be the best man that he could.

Still, the woman couldn’t help but worry whether Shikamaru was only doing this to please her. She’d made it clear to him she didn’t want him to grow old and alone and senile and that while he was young he better ‘hurry up and find a worthy woman to marry’. It was so sudden, too. Out of nowhere, after weeks and months of refusing his mother’s nagging it suddenly happened. Her insistent words had grown too much for him and he’d given up, yet again.

Yes, she thought, it must be partially my fault at least.

However, as Shikamaru lay back on his bed watching the woman he was to marry the following day pack a bunch of things into a bag and he listened the complaints and huffs she let out every now and again, he couldn’t deny that she was all he could’ve asked for and more.

“I swear if I haven’t packed everything I’m going to hit you, cause you’re supposed to be helping me here,” huffed Temari, running her hands nervously through her loose blonde hair. “Dammit, it would’ve been so much better to have got married in Suna.”

Shikamaru squeezed his eyes shut and groaned. “No, we’re not having that argument again. Once was enough and we went way past seven times.”

Having the wedding in Suna or Konoha had been the topic of many a long winded argument between the couple, and always seemed to go (and end) exactly the same way. Still, that didn’t stop Temari bringing it up again and again and it always going like this:

“I’m the bride, Shikamaru, so it ought to be my choice!”

“I know that, but-”

“Not to mention that my brother is the Kazekage. I can’t have my brother missing this and if Gaara can’t make it here then I refuse to do it. If we have it back home in Suna, then he can make it easily!” Temari would look at him with her hands resting on her hips and a menacing stare beating down on Shikamaru.

“I know. I agree entirely. But it’s my mothers fault we’re getting married and she’s old. And old woman shouldn’t have to travel all the way to Suna just to see her son get hitched. Jesus…”

“Don’t act like you want to get married, cause I know you. And don’t try and sass me, either. Got it?”

Shikamaru would always retreat, but it wouldn’t take long for Temari to realise he was right. Yoshino was the reason the couple were tying the knot and would argue Shikamaru’s point for him, too. Mostly Temari didn’t want to argue with her almost mother-in-law…she scared the life out of her.

“You’re right,” Temari sighed, throwing more bits and pieces into her bag. “I have more important things to worry about than things I can’t change.” She checked the clock on the wall and frowned. “Shit, the bloody girls are going to be here in like twenty minutes and I’m not ready to go yet. Have I packed everything? Probably not. Shit, where’s my toothbrush? Oh it’s already in there. Oh, god…Shika?”

“Mm?” He raised his eyebrows and smirked as he watched her fret. It amused him, which unimpressed her.

“Help me.”

“How?.”

She huffed and continued rooting through draws without even looking at him. “I don’t see why I can’t just stay here with you.”

“Tradition,” he said softly.

“Neither of us give a shit about that though, do we?”

Shikamaru chuckled. “Well, the girls do. I’m all for you staying with me.” He frowned and sat up slightly. “Okay, calm down now, you just packed my shirt.”

“I know I did, I- wait…no I didn’t…” Temari looked down at the bag and Shikamaru’s shirt staring back at her, the Nara clan symbol hitting her in the face. This time tomorrow she’d be part of that clan. She’d be part of some clan, in some village that wasn’t her own, being made to wear that symbol on her back and…

“Oh god, no! Fuck, Shika, I’m so scared!” cried Temari, pulling at her hair and biting her lower lip. “Do we even want this? Look, Shikamaru, you’re a pain, but I love you so don’t get me wrong but…do we have to get married?”

With a deep sigh, the dark haired young man hauled himself up from his position on the badly made bed. He buried his hands in the pockets of his trousers and gradually stepped closer to his fiancée, his eyebrows slightly raised as he looked into her eyes.

“Hey, it’s okay.” He said it so calmly unnerved Temari. “I know it’s a real drag, but we’ve got to do it someday soon…so why not now?”

Temari looked up at him as he took his final step. His face was just inches away and he’d regretted to shave for a few days. “Because…I’m scared. And you need to shave.” She started to back away but he caught her.

A smirk worked its way onto his lips and if Temari wasn’t in total state of panic and frustration she’d have found it quite sexy. “I’ve been thinking about growing it out, and you’re not going anywhere,” he chuckled. “Of all the things I’ve seen you fight, pre-wedding jitters are the one thing that makes you run away? Seriously?”

“Oh, fuck off, you miserable sod.”

The young man chuckled weakly and shook his head, taking her hands and twisting the diamond ring around her left ring finger.

“It’s not funny, Shikamaru!” said Temari.

Her voice was so full of angst it should’ve thrown him back, but Shikamaru had dealt with worse - namely his mother on a bad day. He could sit out this argument easily.

“What’s the point in doing this now of all times?” she continued. “This is the biggest fucking commitment you can make! Plus, you yourself used to tell me that you find women too troublesome. But now look at you; you’re all for it! Has your mother threatened you?”

He chuckled, looking down into her narrow green eyes as he continued to swivel around her engagement ring. “You’re quite right. And I do still find women a complete pain - you especially - but do you really think I’d waste so much money on this scrap of metal if I wasn’t willing to commit.”

In synchronisation, they both looked down at her ring as Shikamaru swiftly made it so he was hugging her from behind. Tamara began to feel smaller and fragile; Shikamaru was the only man who could make her feel like that, and she both loved and despised it.

“Shika-”

“And as for what’s the point?” He brought her closer to him, resting his hands softly on her middle, cheek resting on her head gently. “The point is still what it was when I asked you.”

Temari groaned and sniffed, the tears swelling in her eyes beginning to fade away.

“You remember that point, don’t you?” asked Shikamaru in a quiet, soft, and serious tone.

She giggled slightly, leaning back into the chest of her lover. “How could I forget? It featured the worst impression of your mother I’ll ever hear.”

“Well,” Shikamaru’s raspy voice said into her ear, “maybe I can do a little better this time round…” He coughed quietly and attempted to raise his voice’s pitch, but he couldn’t escape the huskiness of his normal voice as he quoted his mother: “If I have bastard grandchildren you’ll be in very big trouble, young man.”

“Okay that was equally as awful as the first time, Shikamaru. Your mum is too excitable sounding for you to get close to her voice.”

Temari smiled and bit down on her lower lip to try and conceal her laughter. However she couldn’t hold it long, and let out a loud snort, causing her to blush profusely and set off Shikamaru’s laugh that she found so sweet and adorable.

As he pressed a soft kiss against her temple, Temari let her hands fall to where his rested gently on the small bump of her abdomen. “Trust us to be the pair who accidentally get pregnant before marriage,” she sighed.

“Yeah…such a shame that you can’t get drunk at your own wedding,” Shikamaru teased, kissing along her jaw. “I guess I’ll just have to get extra drunk for you.”

Upon hearing this, Temari squirmed and tried to escape her fiancé’s tender but unescapable grip. “Don’t try to be funny. This kid is your fault, too. You can pay the price and stay sober,” she said. Finally working her way free, she turned to face Shikamaru and looked pleased with herself. “Understand?”

“Oh, what a drag…I already had to give up smoking…”

“Boo-hoo,” she teased, putting her bottom out for a second. She quickly broke into a smug smile, causing Shikamaru to groan. “Now shut up and help me. Oh, and anyway; you’ve got your stag-do tonight. You can drink then. I’m sure Chouji will let you.”

“Stag-do…” Shikamaru let out a weak and pathetic laugh, grabbing one of Temari’s bags and slinging it over his shoulder. “Cause of my family’s relation to deer? Quite witty, actually. Nice.”

Tamara snorted again and her cheeks blushed a soft pink. “For a genius you’re a complete idiot. That’s just what it’s called.”

“Oi. Don’t get to pleased with yourself.”

The Suna girl turned and smirked at him, proving he was too late. She moved closer, swiftly closing the gap between their lips in a matter of seconds. But just as their lips brushed against each other they were forced apart.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Temari sighed. “That’ll be Sakura and Hinata. I’ll go get it, you bring my stuff.”

“Look, I might almost be your husband, but I’m not you bitch, Temari…”

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you,” she said menacingly. “Now get on with it.”

By the time Shikamaru had gathered the three bags together (and he didn’t understand why a woman needed so much stuff for one night; it seemed like too much hassle to him), Temari had her coat on and was at the door, waiting. He stepped closer and handed each girl a bag before taking Temari’s hands in his.

The couple shared a look as if each of them knew exactly what the other was thinking.

Be careful…and don’t it make it too obvious we’ve got a new member of the family on the way, okay?

You really think I’m that stupid, Shikamaru?

She was right and he knew it. Tamara was a smart girl and, mostly, she could keep a secret. Anyway, the maid of honour already knew and was sworn to secrecy. Hinata had overheard the two arguing about the baby after Temari first found out and knocked on the door, admitting she’d heard every word. She said was happy for them and smiled sweetly, promising not to breathe a word to anyone.

That was two months prior and not a single person knew now but the three of them, so Shikamaru and Temari knew they could trust her completely.

Sakura gently took Temari’s arm and pulled away from Shikamaru and out of the door. 

“Promise me you’ll look after her,” he said seriously, looking into her scared, green eyes. He tried his best to seem void of worry, but it didn’t work too well. “Please?”

“We will,” Hinata said gently, taking Sakura’s hand off of Temari.

The moment she was free, Temari rocketed into Shikamaru’s arms and buried her face in the crook of his neck. It didn’t surprise him one bit, and - for once - he let down his cold, hard persona to hug her tightly back, nestling his face in her scruffy blonde hair.

He pulled back and kissed her lips soft and slowly, holding her cheek with one hand, the other nestled deep into his trouser pocket. “I’ll see you tomorrow so we can get married…man, that’s something I never thought I’d say.”

Temari grinned and stepped back towards the girls, picking up her bag. Before she turned and disappeared from Shikamaru’s sight for a while she gave him a cheeky smirk: “I know right…‘what a drag’.”

.   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .

I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I loved writing it!

ShikaTema are a real weakness of mine and I couldn’t resist writing in certain bits of dialogue and also the whole idea about something pushing them to get married but really they just want to be togther. That just suits ShikaTema to me…

The next part will be “The Day Before - LeeTen”

(which I’m so excited for because omg LeeTen is so beautiful)

4

tagged by @boo-seungqueen (thank you, friend!)

here’s my lock screen, home screen, last song i listened to, and my most recent selfie (except since i don’t selfie, y’all get a picture of my cat–which seemed fair since the puppy got the homescreen.)

tagging @sunkissedhao, @spasticstars, @soft-jihoonie, @literal-ktrash, and whoever else is interested (unless y’all have already done one of these recently..or, you know, just don’t want to.)

fave parts of orange is the new black season 2:

WARNING: giant spoilers ahead

  • describing what love is: “and you have a pizza”
  • rosa escaping litchfield and fucking RUNNING OVER vee. “always so rude, that one”
  • fig giving caputo a blow job to keep him quiet, then he says “oh, i already gave the file to the warden”
  • when the prisoners had a sing along during the storm
  • every time poussey and taystee moonlight as mackenzie and amanda
  • morello being a sweetheart constantly
  • morello straight up sneaking out and stalking christopher without getting caught
  • boo explaining the gay agenda
  • rosa befriending the teenager in chemo treatment
  • “you want to assassinate someone? visual is a basic requirement. it’s like step 1: pick a person to kill. step 2: kill that person”
Is That An Issue?

That gif is just delicious…. Like I should be writing but I’m staring #hiproll

Originally posted by buffybarnes

Warnings: If you’re gonna listen to the second song I mention around other people please use headphones. No shade…. But shade. And don’t stare at the gif to long because you’ll get distracted and re-watch the Thirst Trap scene and not read this.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4


Things had been going well leading up to Lily’s birthday. Theo hadn’t gotten her a puppy but he got her hoardes of Monster High dolls in an attempt to complete her collection without spoiling her. He almost got roped into buying her every doll from the Descendants but you told him to let her pick. Ultimately, she chose the Monster High ones because they were more interesting.

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