oh blaine what are you going to do

kiss the (sous) chef

this is for @yruablackwarbler who wanted a fill for this prompt on @prompt-a-klainefic! Thank you so much for the prompt, darling, and I hope you enjoy :D

Read on AO3

The first time he hears the smoke detector go off in 4B he’s arguing with his brother over the phone. He doesn’t even remember what started this particular argument, but he knows it escalated quickly. He’s just in the middle or retorting to Cooper’s accusation of, “Well, what would you know, you were always Mom’s favorite,” when he hears the beeping.

“Oh, for god’s sake, Cooper,” he says, rolling his eyes. “If you’re going to cook while we fight, can you at least have the decency to do it well? I can hear your smoke detector going off from here.”

“What? I’m not cooking.”

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Death of a Bachelor

I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m writing fic again so hi, have some Klaine AU happenings based on The Bachelor!

Rated PG… for now. Butts later.


Chapter 1


“You did what?”

“Come on, Blainey Squirt boy. It’ll be fun!”

Blaine grimaced as his older brother rambled into his ear over the phone. Every week they tried to set up at least one time and day to chat and stay in touch with each other’s lives, but Cooper, as always, had derailed that. It was six o’clock on a Thursday morning—Blaine’s one day off this week.

“Look, I had a blast when I was on The Bachelorette. Made a lot of friends, got to go all over the place on really fancy dates. It was great for my image, too. That’s how I got the recurring spot on The Young and the Restless. They’re talking about making me a regular!”

“Didn’t they kill you off last month?”

“That’s not the point. Everyone comes back to life on those shows.”

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Blaine Drabble 86

Request: Can you do 86 with Blaine

86. “We should bang - shit, I mean hang.”

You arrived at the party with Kelly and Jenny by your side, smiling at the people you passed. The three of you stopped and stood next to some couches, taking in the scene before Kelly clapped her hands together.

“Alright, well, I don’t know about you two losers, but I’m gonna go get shit-faced.” she smiled her pearly whites and you giggle at your blonde friend.

“Yeah, I’m gonna go get a drink with Kelly. You coming, Y/N?” Jenny questioned.

You shake your head. “No, I’m good. I have to get you two home safely after this party, I can’t be drinking.”

Kelly rolls her eyes. “Party pooper. C’mon, Jen, let’s get wasted.”

You watch your two friends walk away towards Chaz who was handing out drinks to everyone. You laugh, shaking your head before your smile was immediately wiped off of your face. Chaz was alone. He was never alone. Blaine was always with him. Oh god, Blaine. Where is that assh-

“Hey baby.” Blaine slid next to you with a red cup in his hand.

You groan. “What do you want, Blaine?”

“I’d love to hear you groan like that in my bed.” he winked. You roll your eyes.

“Never in a million years.”

“Aw, come on.” he throws his arm over your shoulders. “You know you want me.”

“I want you to go away.” you throw his arm off of you and he frowns.

“Why won’t you give me a chance?”

“Because you’re a cocky asshole who thinks every girl in the entire universe wants to get fucked by you.”

“Well good thing the only girl I want is you.” he smiled.

You scoff. “Back off, Blaine.”

He pouts. “Come on Y/N, at least be my friend. It won’t hurt to be my friend.”

You stare at him for a bit before sighing. “Okay, fine.”

This makes Blaine break out in a grin. “Thank you.” he takes a sip of his drink. “You know, we should bang - shit, I mean hang.”

You glare at him and slap his arm. “Blaine!”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry!”

Between Friends

Sam asks for a favor that only very, very good friends would agree to do.

This was a very weird idea of mine that I sort of came up with after a quirky dream. It sort of almost has Blam in it but not really like they’re not involved other than… educationally? Yeah… I’m gonna go sit in a corner.

“I need help.”

Kurt doesn’t look back from his jewellery sketches when he hears Sam say that, assuming he won’t be needed in this conversation. His husband’s best friend would be in town for the weekend only and Kurt’s more than happy to let them have their time as he is due to finish his designs in the next few days anyway.

“With what?”

“Sex.”

But there are some things that pull Kurt’s attention even when he’s trying to focus on something else.

“Uh… okay,” Blaine says slowly, stealing a glance at Kurt who shrugs.

“Yeah, I mean. You two are pretty good at it, right?” Sam says. “At least you have a lot of it.”

“What makes you say that?” Kurt asks.

“Oh, come on.”

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Klaine one-shot - “In Sync” (Rated PG13)

Kurt and Blaine are having a little trouble deciding on where they and their friends should go to dinner.

Meanwhile, Rachel, Elliott, Santana, and Dani, watching the two from the sofa and not privy to their secret language of gestures, are having trouble understanding anything they’re “saying”. (663 words)

A/N: This is another re-write, for those of you who want to know. Also, I don’t write Santana and Dani all that often, but I thought they worked well here. If they’re your NoTP, I apologize, but the story’s still cute regardless.

Read on AO3.

“It’s almost 8 o’clock, guys!” Rachel whines, dropping on the sofa between Elliott and Santana. Dani joins them, sitting in her girlfriend’s lap, and hands Santana her half-full glass of red wine. “Are we still going out to dinner or what? I’m starving!”

“Don’t look at us.” Santana wraps an arm around Dani’s waist, pulling her further onto her lap. “It’s Lady Hummel and Hobbit Boy’s turn to pick a place.”

“We’re thinking, we’re thinking,” Kurt says, walking in from the kitchen with Blaine by his side, sipping their own refreshed glasses of wine. Right before he finishes his cabernet, Kurt’s eyes go wide as inspiration strikes.

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Inspired by this:

The problem is, Kurt thinks as Blaine kisses his way along Kurt’s jaw and to his right ear, he gets turned on way too easily. Whenever Blaine so much as touches his hand,Kurt wants to press himself against his boyfriend and- rub himself on Blaine or something. Kurt’s not sure, because even though he has read the pamphlets his dad has given him, the whole context of going further than kissing still boggles his mind.

“You’re distracted.” Blaine’s pout comes into his field of vision and Kurt wants to whimper at the loss of contact. Blaine’s lips shouldn’t be pouting, they should continue sucking little kisses to the skin below his ear.

“Sorry, sorry,” and his voice comes out breathier than he wants, so he frowns but Blaine only stares at his lips and doesn’t seem to notice. A second later Blaine dives back in, kissing him, on the lips this time. This is what they should always be doing. Blaine’s lips are soft and a little wet since they’ve been at it for a while. In Kurt’s humble opinion, Blaine is the best kisser in the world. He gives and takes and presses in and sucks and Kurt wants to forget about school and Glee and breathing and do this forever.

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Prompt List

Hello friends! In honor of me hitting 3k a couple of days ago, I’ve decided to do some drabbles! Below is a list of prompts that YOU can choose from! Once you’ve figured out what prompt/quote you want, come pop it in my ask!

The characters you can choose from are Bucky (40′s if you’d like), Lance, Seb (obvi), and Blaine (from Hot Tub Time Machine + I’ll try my very best!) (and maybe Jefferson, Chris Beck, TJ Hammond and Carter Baizen).

Oh! Also the “______” in some of the quotes are blanks meaning whichever character you choose, their name will go there. For example, if you choose #7 with Lance it would be: “Lance, no.” “Lance, YES.”

Alright, let’s get this show on the road!


1. “Please don’t leave me.”

2. “Grab my ass one more time and see what happens.”

3. “This is me. I am the eye of the storm and my heart is a little broken but if you want me, I’m yours.”

4. “You’re with him till the end of the line but what about me?”

5. “The more you weigh, the harder you are to kidnap. Stay Safe. Eat cake.”

6. “Y/N no.” + “Y/N yes.”

7. “______, no.” + “______, YES.”

8. “Are you eating again?”

9. “What are you doing?” + “Trying to use my telekinesis to bring the remote to me.”

10. “You dare insult me mortal?”

11. “What is life without a little risk?”

12. “I don’t think this was a good idea.” + “This was your idea.”

13. “I’m feeling as fresh as freshly baked toast.”

14. “The last time I was someone’s type, I was donating blood.”

15. “Women are always stealing my shirts.”

16. “You’re a flawless piece of shit.”

17. “You’re a babe.”

18. “Do you still like me?” + “We’re married.”

19. “You run your heart like a hotel - you’ve always got people checking in and checking out.”

20. “We’re falling apart.” + “Because you’re not trying!”

21. “I like you, you squid!”

22. “It frustrates me how much I love you and you don’t know. But, I like being frustrated. I don’t mind being frustrated if it’s because of you.”

23. “I know there are pretty girls at this school but none of them are as beautiful as you, darlin’.”

24. “I’m straight up lovable.”

25. “I thought you loved me, not him.”

26. “You’re hot when you’re jealous.”

27. “You like riding things? Ride me.”

28. “I didn’t understand a word you just said. I don’t speak French.” + “I wasn’t speaking French.”

29. “I’m not supposed to laugh, right?”

30. “I’m so tired of being lonely.”

31. “Eat me.”

32. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

33. “Are you drunk?”

34. “You look just like my girlfriend!” + “Oh shit, you are my girlfriend.”

35. “You know I’m not gonna fall asleep until you make out with me.”

36. “My penis is bigger than yours.” + “You don’t have a penis.”

37. “Sometimes I wonder if you’re actually human.”

38. “Our relationship is canceled until further notice.”

39. “You’re so wrong.” + “So wrong, I’m right.”

40. “Who said you could be friends with my mom?” + “Your mom.”

41. “Why am I dating you.”

42. “This is pretty good.” + “That’s our baby’s food.”

43. “I’m forrealsies this time.” + “I can’t believe you just said forrealsies.”

44. “I know I say I love you but I love you.”

45. “Stop kissing me! You’re spreading your gross germs!”

46. “We really need to stop watching Criminal Minds at two in the morning.”

47. “I don’t get jealous.”

48. “Can I sit here?” + “You can sit on my face.”

49. “Why should I trust you?”

50. “Are you flirting with me?” + “Oh my god I’ve been flirting with you for the past two years.”

51. “You deserve better.”

52. “When were you gonna tell me that you’re pregnant?”

53. “If I had that face, I’d cry too.”

54. “So… about that blowjob.”

55. “How the hell did you end up in jail?” + “It’s a long story.”

56. “Do you ever look at yourself in the mirror and go ‘wow, I’m so beautiful’ because same.”

57. “Calm down all I did was break his nose.”

58. “Why are you so clingy?”

59. “I just wanna.. touch.. your boobs.”

60. “Touch me.”

61. “Don’t fucking try me, I’ll whip my Harry Potter wand out on you.”

62. “I just really love you, okay?”

63. “You better not be friend-zoning me.”

64. “All I’m asking is for you to love me back, is that so hard?”

65. “Did you just squeeze my ass?” + “Yeah, it was really firm.”

66. “You look good enough to eat.”

67. “Why don’t you like me?”

68. “Oh my god you cheated, didn’t you?”

69. “No don’t go in there!” + “Why is there a puppy in the closet?”

70. “I’m feeling really attacked right now.”

71. “You’re a big ball of happiness mixed with cute things and sprinkles.”

72. “Marry me.”

73.  “So this is it? You’re just leaving?”

74. “So between me and James Franco, who would you choose?” + “Don’t ask that, you’ll only get hurt.”

75. “You’re so goddamn beautiful.”

76. “Squids have eyes and a mouth and we have eyes and a mouth. We’re basically squids.”

77. “I love you and it hurts that you don’t love me back.”

78. “I love you so damn much and it scares me, okay?”

79. “Y/N, I have something to tell you…. I’m pregnant.” + “You’re a man, _____”

80. “I’ve never kissed anyone.” + “This is a problem.”

81. “I don’t know why I like you so much and it frustrates the hell out of me.”

82. “You’re gorgeous and captivating. Like I said, I want you.”

83. “I know I say I don’t want a relationship but you make me want to have one… with you.”

84. “I know you’ve given me your all and too, too many chances but please… give me one more chance.”

85. “So do you wanna like.. date me and stuff?”

86. “We should bang - shit, I mean hang.”

87. “You look happy and it’s killing me.”

88. “Say it again.” + “I love you.”

89. “I can’t believe you cheated.” + “It was just Mariokart.”

90. “Why wear underwear when you could wear none.”

91. “I think we got married last night.”

92. “I won’t bite… hard.”

93. “Do I make you horny baby? Do I? Do I make you randy?” + “Okay one, you need to stop watching Austin Powers and two, I am completely turned off now.”

94. “Do you really love her ______?”

95. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

96. “Stop pushing me away and just let me love you!”

97. “Can I do your makeup?” + “Only if you make me look super hot.”

98. “Can we just cuddle until our bodies become one with the bed?”

99. “Oh my god ______ I’m so sorry I thought - I didn’t know you were doing… that.”

100. A quote of your choice.

Some of the quotes are from those of you who sent me one, others are from movies, I think tv shows, some just popped into my head and some are things my ex girlfriend told me :)

Clinging to This Hating Game 4/?

(Yes I got the title wrong on the last chapter, that’s what happens when you try to post form work)

For the @prompt-a-klainefic blog’s 2017 Reverse Bang

Link to the art by @datshitrandom

the prompt:

Kurt and Blaine couldn’t stand each other in high school, maybe one was a jock/cheerleader and the other a nerd/glee clubber. Or they were bitter rivals for competition solos if they were both in glee club. Now they both live in NY and their friends set them up on a blind date, not knowing they went to the same high school.

High School AU, Cheerio!Kurt, Jock!Blaine
Rating: Explicit
Warnings:  some bullying and homophobic language, teenage sex
Word Count: ~3800 (this chapter)

Thanks as always to my superbeta @mshoneysucklepink.

Everything wonky is my fault.

AO3 link Chapter 4

On tumblr: Ch 1, Ch 2, Ch 3

Just a quick disclaimer: It just so happens that the only production of Bye Bye Birdie I have ever seen was a middle school production; I have never seen any film version or a staged version done by adults. I did review some high school productions on youtube while I was writing this chapter.

I only mention it because the school version and the movie version have some different staging, and I definitely had the school version in my head. It’s not a huge part of the action, but it is in there so I thought I should clear that up.

Chapter 4

Kurt did his best to avoid talking to Blaine after their confrontation in the locker room.

Football season was over two weeks later anyway, so there were fewer run-ins in said locker room to try and avoid.

Of course dodging him altogether was impossible, with rehearsals for sectionals and the musical starting up in earnest. But those were both group events, and Kurt could be a professional. In fact it would be excellent practice for when he was a working actor. After all, there was no guarantee you would always get along with everyone in the cast of a show. Kurt convinced himself that he was even looking forward to the challenge.

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relise-thefury  asked:

Your Miles fics are my absolute favorite. He is my favorite member of RT. Could you do a supah fluffy reveal? Much obliged *bows and walks offstage*

Word Count: 1,196

“I got another one,” you announced pulling the post-it note off the screen of your computer.

“You got another one?” Barbara asked as she rushed over to your desk with a big smile. “What’s it say?”

“Your smile is the highlight of my day and I’ll even go out of my way sometimes just to see it,” you read.

Keep reading

Ignore Him

Notes: Hey guys! I’m only posting this late (it’s late for me) because I just got back from a road trip so….yeah. Anyways, I hope you like it! This was a requested imagine. I need more requests! I love getting them and making them, so don’t hesitate to send some in! 

Requested: Yes

Ignore Him

Sebastian Smythe x Reader

Word Count: 1,420

Character Count: 7,574

Warnings: fluff, angst, etc.


You walk into the glee club room, ready for action. 

“Hey, (y/n)!” Blaine greets you. 

“Hey, Blaine.” You smile and hug him. 

“What’s going on?” You ask as you pull away from the hug. 

“Oh, we’re just getting ready to go show the Warblers who’s boss!” Santana smirks. 

“Great. What are we waiting for?” You ask, heading over to your violin case. 

“Well, we were waiting for you. But now that you’re here….” Kurt trails off, smiling. 

“Let’s do it, then.” You grin, taking your violin out of its case. 

Truth is, you’re an amazing singer, dancer, and violin player. The New Directions even called you a Triple Threat. As you and the rest of the New Directions are walking towards Dalton academy, you smirk. They didn’t know you could play the violin yet. 

You walk into the Warbler’s practice room with the rest of the New Directions. 

“Hey, look, guys! It’s the pathetic New Directions. Why in the world would you come here?” Sebastian walks up to you. 

“You know, Sebastian, I’m jealous of all the people who haven’t met you.” You retort. He smirks and rolls his eyes. 

“Lay off him, (y/n). He brings joy to some people, sometimes. Like when he walks out of the room. Everyone in that room basically jumps for joy!” She scoffs. He rolls his eyes again. 

“Yeah, keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.” You smirk. He shakes his head and laughs with no humor. 

“If laughter is the best medicine, then your face must be curing the world.” Sebastian looks you up and down then smirks. 

“Roses are red, violets are blue, God made me pretty, but what happened to you?” You give him a sarcastic look. He laughs sharply. You and him always had good comebacks for each other. 

“We’re here to show you who’s the best, Smythe.” Santana crosses her arms. 

“Really? And how will you do that?” He crosses his arms, too. 

She snaps her fingers and the rest of the New Directions walk in. You get out your violin from behind you and rest your chin on it. The Warblers look a little surprised at the violin, but you knew they would be. You start to play, and they look even more surprised that you’re so good.

Song: Radioactive
By: Imagine Dragons (Pentatonix and Lindsey Stirling cover in the video)

I’m waking up

To ash and dust

I wipe my brow

And I sweat my rust
I’m breathing in the chemicals

Ooh

Blaine starts singing.

I’m breaking in and shaping up

And checking out on the prison bus

This is in the apocalypse

Ooh

I’m waking up

Everyone starts singing together now, except for a couple of people who are singing backup.

I feel it in my soul

Enough to make my system blow

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

Ooh Ooh

I’m Radioactive

Radioactive

Ooh Ooh

I’m Radioactive

Radioactive

You start a little solo on your violin. Then Blaine comes in again.

I’m breaking in, shaping up

And checking out on the prison bus

This is in the apocalypse

Ooh

I’m waking up

Everyone comes in again except for the few people who are still singing backup.

I feel it in my bones

Enough to make my system blow

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

Ooh Ooh

I’m radioactive

Radioactive

Ooh Ooh

I’m radioactive

Radioactive

Artie sings a little solo now.

All systems go

The sun hasn’t died

Deep in my bones

Straight from inside

You have another solo on your violin before Santana sings again.

I’m waking up (everyone else: welcome to the new age - to the new age

Welcome to the new age - to the new age)

Then everyone joins in.

I’m waking up

I feel it in my bones

Enough to make my system blow

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

Welcome to the new age

To the new age

Ooh Ooh

I’m radioactive

Radioactive

Ooh Ooh

I’m radioactive

Radioactive

(Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aE2GCa-_nyU)

You end and put your violin down. Little did you know, Sebastian was staring at you in awe the whole time, but he didn’t show it anymore. 

“Wow…that was….surprising.” Sebastian smirks. 

“What does that mean?” You roll your eyes. 

“It means that I thought you guys were better. Now we’re definitely going to win. Right, guys?” Sebastian grins evilly. 

“Oh, whatever! You’re just afraid of us.” You smirk. 

“You know, (y/n), you would join the Warblers at Dalton Academy if it weren’t for the boys only rule.” Sebastian looks you up and down. What he said was true, but you didn’t want to admit it. 

“In your dreams.” You scoff. 

“Actually, it’s in yours.” He smirks. Okay, that was a pretty good comeback. 

“Are you sure you don’t want me to join because you know that if you had me there’d be no way anyone could beat you guys?” You push him backwards a little. He smiles. 

“No, I know that everyone would beat us then, because you suck at singing. Your violin skills aren’t much better, and your dancing is horrible.” He pushes you now. 

“Listen up, Sebastian,” You say his name with disgust, “You’re just too jealous that I’m a triple threat and you’re barely one at all.” You sneer and turn around, walking off. The rest of the New Directions follow you.

Later, you head over to Dalton Academy. Sebastian had asked to meet you there. Alone. 

“What do you want, Smythe?” You growl as you approach him. He was alone, just like he promised. You had trusted him enough to come alone, too. Even though he was supposed to be your arch nemesis, you couldn’t shake the thought of how attractive he is. 

“Just wanted to see you, (y/n).” He answers with his signature smirk on his face. You wanted to slap it right off. 

“Yeah, well, you’ve seen me. Can I go home now?” You roll your eyes. He sighs and runs a hand through his hair. A sign of stress or anxiety. You’ve never seen him do this. What could he be stressed or anxious about? You have no clue. 

“No, not quite yet. I need to talk to you about something.” He sighs. 

“Well, what is it? I haven’t got all night, you know.” You cross your arms. 

“I’m trying to be serious here, (y/n).” He rolls his eyes. 

“I’m serious, too! I need to get home soon, or my parents will freak.” You argue. 

“Fine, fine! I wanted to meet you here because i wanted to tell you thatithinki’minlovewithyou.” He slurs his words together so you can’t understand them. 

“What?” You ask, clearly confused. 

“I think I’m in love with you, okay!?” He yells. Your eyes widen in surprise. 

“What….? Are you serious, Sebastian?” You ask, surprised. 

“Yes! I wouldn’t lie to you like that, (y/n).” He sighs and runs his hand through his hair again. 

“What made you think you’re in love with me?” You ask. 

“When I saw you today with the New Directions, I saw how passionate and amazing you were with the violin and it sparked something inside me. I don’t know….I shouldn’t have told you this. I’m sorry. I have to go.” He turns around and starts to walk away before you grab his shoulder and turn him back around. 

You immediately kiss him. He’s surprised at first, but then he soon kisses back. Once you pull away, he’s grinning from ear to ear. A real smile, not his usual sarcastic one. 

“I think I love you, too.” You blush. 

“Why?” He asks. You sigh. 

“Ever since I saw you, no matter how much of a sarcastic jerk you were, I could never get you off my mind.” A small smile appears on your face. 

“Aw, you’re so sweet.” He teases. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know.” You joke and kiss his cheek. 

“Why were you so mean to mean to me if you thought you were in love with me?” You ask, curiously. 

“I didn’t want to be in love with you, and I thought if I ignored it and was mean to you instead of pursuing it, I could shake the feeling off.” He shrugs. 

“Now you know how I felt about you!” You tease. He laughs. 

“I don’t know how I’m going to tell the Warblers that I’m dating the girl that they thought and I thought I hated.” He shrugs. 

“I don’t know how I’m going to tell the New Directions that I’m dating the hated arch nemesis Sebastian that almost blinded Blaine and hates our group. But hey, maybe I can make you nicer.” You suggest, as if he’s actually going to go along with it. 

“Maybe.” He agrees. You smile and pull him in for another kiss. 

Maybe this day wasn’t so bad after all.


A/N: Tell me what you think! I hope you guys liked it :) Request/Ask box is open!! Feedback is encouraged, just no hate. Bai!

Klaine one-shot - “One More Day” (Rated PG13)

Tony Award winner Kurt Hummel spending one last, perfect day with his husband, Marine Corps Staff Sergeant Blaine Anderson, before his tour of duty begins.

This is also a re-write. Warning for heavy angst and mention of character death. Otherwise, I’m not giving too much away on this one. Enter at your own risk. 

Read on AO3.

Kurt whisks his bowl of egg whites until his omelet base is dangerously close to becoming meringue. Standing in front of the kitchen stove with a huge lump in his throat, his eyes dart to the microwave clock, the switching numbers causing him to jump as if they’re gun shots going off without warning. He’s waited too long. He shouldn’t be down here making breakfast. He should be upstairs, waking his husband.

They haven’t even started their day, and he’s already doing everything wrong.

Keep reading

Strangers.

“Um, hi. Can I ask you a question? I’m new here”
“My name’s Blaine”
“Kurt”

Best friends.

Boyfriends.

“Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself, Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever. Watching you do “Blackbird” this week… that was a moment for me. About you. You moved me, Kurt, and this duet would just be an excuse to spend more time with you”

Ex boyfriends.

Lovers.

Boyfriends again.

B: “I will sign whatever you want. Please say we can be boyfriends again. What?”
K: “I don’t know if relationships actually work, I mean…weren’t Bethenny and Jason supposed to be forever?”
B: “For every Bethenny and Jason, there is a Will and a Jada and a Kurt and a Goldie. C'mon, can’t we at least just give it a try?”
K:“But I’m Goldie, of course…”
B: “Of course you are”
K: “Okay, I can’t believe we’re going to do this again”

Fiances.

“fearlessly and forever”

“it’s not just a puppet. It’s a puppet of my fiance” Blaine.

“Oh, it´s my fiance” Kurt.

Exes again.

They’re back together.

B: “Kurt, are you ok?”

K: “No. I’m not ok. I love you. I still love you”

and finally… Husbands ♥.

“I do”

“I do”

their first kiss as husbands ♥

2

Tobias: What do you mean… Wendy, Dain, Wendy’s friend whose name I can’t bother to remember, you, Heather and Blaine! The most boring company in the entire space and time continuum! All going with me? No way!

Nicole: Oh yes, brother. And you should actually be thankful that we’re all worried for you.

Tobias: IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE JUST ME AND NATE! GET THE HELL AWAY FROM US!

Nicole: Listen to me, I ensure you and Nate will have enough time to yourselves, but me, Heather, Blaine, Eileen, Dain and Wendy actually want to see the future no less than you.

Tobias: Oh really? You didn’t give a damn before. It’s me who found the time portal, so I’d ask you all to fudge off kindly! I know what’s your real purpose - to babysit me like I’m a five-year-old!

Nicole: You act like a five-year-old, Tobias, and even worse! You’re impossible! Know what, go to hell. We’re going along and it isn’t up to discussion.

Fic: Dream Come True

Based off the AU idea ““idk you but you fell asleep on my shoulder on the bus and the only reason i’m letting you stay there is bc you look very comfy and i’m a good person - it’s totally not bc you’re also possibly the cutest and most precious human being i have ever seen hahah okay maybe a lil”” and dedicated to Yesim and Michele. <3
~1175 words, PG, entirely fluff.

Kurt looked down at the sleeping boy on his shoulder and thought This is probably why Santana says I’m too nice, isn’t it?

It was one thing for a friend to end up napping on him on the bus, sure, but Kurt had never actually met the guy who was now curling in closer to his collarbone and whuffling gently. Despite that pesky detail, Kurt wasn’t actually too uncomfortable with the situation, though. It probably helped that this guy had a face like a classic movie star and smelled like raspberries and nice cologne - had it been anyone else on this bus, Kurt would’ve jolted them off his shoulder so fast it may have technically counted as assault.

The only problem Kurt could see about this arrangement was that his stop was coming up soon, and he did kind of need to get home on time that day.

He reached across their bodies and tapped the boy’s far shoulder, frowning slightly. “Hey. Hey, honey. Wake up.”

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Mistakes (Ryan Haywood/Reader)

Anon said: Ryan/reader with arguing and crying and then making up please? <3

Word Count: 3,277

Warning(s): Arguing, cursing, mentions of alcohol, mentions of cheating, mentions of sex

Summary: You and Ryan have your first major fight.

Author’s Note: I had this intense need out of nowhere to write angst, so thank god for this prompt. Also, I’m really sorry I haven’t been writing lately. To make a long story short, I’m a very, very busy woman. So, to make it up to ya’ll, I made it extra long.

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Generic Darren Criss Article.

Darren Criss, who is a straight man, is staring as Blaine Anderson, who is gay, unlike Darren himself who is heterosexual. This charming, handsome, and straight star has lit up Brodway, while playing a man who is straight just like him, and the big screen (where he made out and gave oral to a female!) alike! But what really made his heterosexual man famous, is his role on Glee!

He got his name known by kissing Chris Colfer, his gay co-worker, who is gay but Criss is not. Though Criss kissed Colfer, for the role because he never would unless he had to, it’s important to remember that he is attracted to boobs! He said so on his “Listen Up!” tour summer of 2013, where he did numerous interviews, one of which talked about his girlfriend, who is a female girl with a vagina that he is dating! Neato! 

Lets talk to him for a few minutes!
Q: How does it feel being straight?
DARREN: Well I dont really believe in lab-
Q: So you and that girl are really close!
DARREN: yeah i guess. But i just want to remind everyone to look at my character as a human, not a sexuality!
Q: Oh! speaking of your character, Blaine is gay, but you are not, right?
DARREN: I just told you that I’m tir-
Q: Thank you, Darren! Watch Glee tonight at 8/7c! On FOX!

There you go, ladies who touch themselves thinking about Darren licking vagina! This man can do it all! Sing, act, dance, fuck girls, and so much more! Can’t wait to see what this straight heterosexual man does in the future! We wish this attractive and straight, girl loving man well, and hope that you keep up with him (because your vagina gets wet when you think about him fucking you, a girl probably, because he likes to do that) in the future!

The only thing more nerve-wrecking than your first date ever...

…is you daughter’s first date ever.

Or in which Kurt helps Tracy get ready and Blaine sulks.

“This is so exciting!”

“No, it’s not.”

“Don’t listen to your father, he’s being Mr. Sour Pants.”

“You should be, too!”

“Oh, hush!” Kurt scolds his husband while twisting his daughter’s curly hair into a perfect waterfall braid. “This is Tracy’s first date and you should be happy it’s with a gentleman like Christian.”

“How do you know he’s a gentleman? You’ve never met him,” Blaine says.

“Because our first born has very high standards,” Kurt states matter-of-factly. “That’s something you get from Mr. Sour Pants,” he stage-whispers to Tracy, who giggles.

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Summer Skin

Inspired by this post about Kurt’s summer wardrobe. Early Klaine-ish.

Things Blaine Anderson considers to be his undoing: ‘70s glam rock, karaoke and alcohol—but only together, fear of mediocrity, the Lima Bean’s chocolate chip scones. And he can now add to that list Kurt Hummel wearing a tight white flamingo-printed T-shirt and tiny yellow shorts. They’re just so yellow and so small and there is so much leg

“Blaine?” Kurt twists around in the hallway, making the shirt and shorts pull tight across his back and his ass and Blaine’s mind is screaming stop staring what is wrong with you? but Blaine’s eyes are not getting the message.

“Are you coming in?” Kurt asks, turning all the way around. That view isn’t any better, or, actually it is.

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Score


Pairing: Blaine (HTTM) x Reader

Warnings: lots of swearing, humor

A/N: this was so exciting bc 80s and I got to listen to 80s music again, and I just love blaine. I don’t really remember the movie, so here it is. God this is so funny lol

“So, how do i look?”

You asked the guys, stepping out of the cabin.

“You remind me of my wife.” Lou smirked.

“Fine as a motherfucker.” Nick smiled, giving you a thumbs up.

“You look spectacular, (Y/N).” Adam said.

“Wow.” was the only thing Jacob said, before all of you walked out.

You were dressed in some denim jeans and bright pink shoes, matched with a cropped grey and neon sweater that hung loosely just below your shoulders. Your hair was teased a little too much, but was tied back in a yellow pony tail.

“I thank myself for looking back at my mom’s old high school pictures.” You laughed before stepping outside of the cabin where the party was held. You stopped at the logged door, surrounding each other.

“Alright, remember. Blaine is a dick sucking asshole.” Lou explained. “He’s gonna beat me up again, just get ready for that.”  He explained to everyone what the plan was, but let you out.

“So, what do I do?” You asked.

Lou looked at you. “Hmm.I..” The door opened. “Act sexy. I don’t know!” he whisper shouted, going into the cabin as the others followed along. “Just don’t let him see you.“

“What..” you muttered under your breath. Act like a slut? How would you do that?

“The can is somewhere in here..” Adam said by your side. “We’ll find it while you and Jacob stay down here, alright kid?” You slowly nodded before he ran upstairs.

“Jacob what the fuck do we do?” You asked in worry. He shrugged. “Dammit.”

“Just stay calm, alright?” He said, holding your shoulders. “Don’t talk to anyone.” He said before going into the kitchen.

“Jacob? Jacob!” You whispered but he left you. You sighed and sat down on the couch, enjoying the sound of the PetShop Boys playing in the back.

You first met the guys back in 2009. You went to school with Jacob and that’s how you met his crazy dad friends. They thought Jacob was gay but you pretended to be his girlfriend, but finally told them that you guys weren’t together. Long story short, they invited you to the lodge to party with them, until here you were, suck in the 80s. You would’ve been born by now.

Suddenly, you heard running down the stairs, and saw the guys along with Kelly all in a group, facing someone on the other side of the room. The guy was surrounded by frat looking boys, cocky and upfront, they looked.

That was probably Blaine and his dick sucking friends.

“Can we have that back?” Nick asked, pointing to the can Blaine was holding. Holy shit, we need that to get home.

You stood behind them, worried. This is the part where Lou gets beat.

“Bad news for you, sport. I’m a patriot.” Blaine explained. What the fuck. “Americaa.”

“Blaine, give it to us, please.” Lou stepped.

“Come and get it then.” Blaine said, throwing the can to one of his friends, gesturing for Lou to come closer. Lou did as instructed, trying to throw a punch but failed. Blaine ended up giving Lou a good whack in the face.

The crowed ooed and laughed, as Lou got on the floor by Nick’s feet.

“Are you alright?” Jacob asked, propping him up.”

“You got this, Lou. Tear his little white boy as up!” Nick encouraged.

“You’re bleeding, Lou.” You said, coming out of the crowed, bending to Lou’s height. You wiped the blood from his nose and wiped it on the couch.

“Woah, woah woah.” Blaine said, taking off his jacket. “Who is this fine thing?” He smirked, looking down at you. Shit. Don’t be seen, don’t be seen.

“This is (Y/N)..” Lou said, wiping his nose. “Shit…” He muttered.

“(Y/N), huh?” He asked. You stood up, hands clutching your sweater as you made sweater paws. “Damn.” He bit his lip, eyeing you up and down as bait.

“Blaine.” You said, clearing your throat.

“You know my name, huh sweetie?” He asked, stepping closer. “You’re hot.” He whispered in your ear before backing away. You shivered at his voice, cursing to yourself because you found Blaine slightly attractive. Fucker.

“How bout we make a deal, Lou.” Blaine explained. By now, Lou was standing up. “You get your little spy kit, along with this bomb thing, and we get the girl.” Blaine smiled widely, biting his lip.

“No, you can’t take her!” Jacob yelled, defending you.

“What are you, her boyfriend?” One of Blaine’s friends asked. “Queer.” He smirked.

“You can’t take her, Blaine. Just give us the bag. We mean no harm.” Adam said.

Blaine was about to speak, about to spike up the fight a bit more but you cleared your throat and interrupted. “No. I-it’s fine. I’ll go with him, alright guys?” You softly smiled at the group, walking over to Blaine.

Nick grabbed your hand. “No, (Y/N). Don’t.” but you pulled away.

“Don’t leave without me.” You whispered before yanking your arm and walking to Blaine. The others overheard and played along.

“Have her.” Lou spoke.

Blaine wrapped his arm around your waist, hugging tightly enough to leave marks. He tossed the bags to the others as they ran out the door. Nick was the last to come out, and held the can in his hand.

“See this shit?” He yelled. “It is a bomb. If you don’t count to 5000 all of y’all will explode!” He said before slamming the door. Everyone looked confused as Blaine led you upstairs to his room, and locked the door.

“I’ll protect you!” He said, shutting his blinds. Is he kidding?”

“Blaine..They’re lying.” You sighed.

He turned his head to you. “What?!”

“It was just a bottle.” you lied. “Weed and shit.”

“Oh..How do you know?” he asked, sitting on his bed as you stood.

“I’m friends with them?”

“Why are you friends with those losers?” He smirked. “You made a wise choice to stay with me.” He said, gripping your waist to pull you into his body.

You had to get this guy off of you, but if you didn’t play along, he’d never let you go. You sighed. Fuck it.

“To-to get closer to you.” You explained, wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him to your lips. His lips were warm. The taste of chapstick and beer were on his lips as they met yours. You tried to stop the smile that was on your face, but it wouldn’t disappear. He lifted you onto his waist as he sat down on his bed.

“Are we actually doing this?” Blaine panted in-between the kiss. You nodded. “Score.”

You ripped the buttons off of hit red plaid shirt, flinging it to the side as he took off your sweater.

“This is gonna be a long night.”

When you heard Blaine next to you snoring, that was your que to leave. Taking his arm off of you, you sighed, getting your clothes and put them on, accept your yellow pony tail. You sat that on the bedside table and started writing a note.

You probably might not remember, but when you get to 2010, look me up, will you? -  (Y/N).

you smiled, setting the note under the band and headed out the window to find the guys waiting.

“Shit, (Y/N). You’re alive!” Lou said, pulling you into a bone crushing hug. You smiled.

“How’d you get out? How’d you distract him?” Adam asked.

“Let’s just say it all ended with a good fuck.”

Klaine fic - “All the Beautiful Pieces” (Rated NC17)

Blaine Anderson is spending the summer after graduation flipping houses with his brother for Cooper’s total home renovation show. The show features the worst houses Cooper can buy, with Blaine playing the role of lackey so that Cooper can torture him in front of his viewers. The last house Blaine has to renovate is an original Victorian House in San Diego, CA, which is in terrible condition. But this house turns out to be more than just another job. It was once owned by a famous Vaudeville ventriloquist by the name of Andrew Smythe. It houses a very interesting collection of items - among them, two life-sized puppets. Blaine isn’t sure exactly why, but he’s drawn to them - especially to the one with the beautiful blue eyes. He convinces Cooper to give him the puppets, and Blaine starts to restore them. In the course of the restoration, Blaine finds out that neither puppet is simply a run-of-the-mill puppet, and Andrew Smythe was hiding a secret that will be the key to saving two lives.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9 (4393 words)

Blaine ushers a giggling and squirming Kurt through his bedroom door when a thought wallops him like a sledgehammer.

The suit.

Blaine had forgotten about the suit.

The beautifully tailored but puzzling pariah suit that Blaine had brought back from the Victorian house.

The suit Blaine had wanted to see Kurt wear so he could relive the vision of the handsome young man with the sorrowful eyes.

The suit that Kurt seems to fear for unexplained reasons.

It’s still hanging in Blaine’s closet, where he had hastily shoved it among his shirts and slacks.

Shit!

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