oh because no one wants to go party

anonymous asked:

Andreil 22, 32 or 37 ty love

37. “Wanna dance?”

Three years after graduating, Matt finally proposed to Dan, who got so excited she climbed him like the tree he was to kiss him.  They ended up having to set the wedding date out almost a year later, so they could get the whole team back for the wedding.  And absolutely no one was surprised when Matt asked Neil to be his best man at his wedding, but almost everyone was surprised when he said yes, and then did actual best man duties.  Ok, yeah, the bachelor party was a little awkward at first, but Matt didn’t really want a traditional party anyway, all things considered.  Matt was more than content with just getting trashed while playing Mario Cart.

The day of the actual wedding, Matt almost bolted because even though he loved and adored Dan, Matt had one of those, she deserves so much better than a washed up Exy player, oh gawd Neil just let me go! moments.  But Neil wouldn’t let him and the first thing Matt did post-ceremony was kiss Neil full on the mouth.  Most of the Foxes laughed even as most of the other guests stared in horror.  Only Andrew didn’t laugh, just finished off his flask after staring at them for several long moments.  Eventually he got up and downed five champagne glasses.

Neil wandered back towards their table and looked around for his boyfriend, smiling when he saw him despite Andrew’s grimace.  Andrew grabbed another glass, and sipped it as he walked unsteadily towards his boyfriend.

“Hey, you good?” Neil asked as Andrew took his hand.

“Wanna dance?” Andrew asked pulling Neil towards the dance floor.  Neil looked around, alarmed, but no one had seen him yet.

“Come on, let’s go get some fresh air,” Neil suggested, tugging Andrew towards a set of stairs.  Andrew let him take him to the roof without much comment.  Once alone, Neil turned to Andrew and opened his mouth to ask him what was going on, but Andrew spoke before him.

“Can I kiss you?” He asked and Neil shook his head.  Andrew pulled out of Neil’s grip and curled in on himself.

“Andrew, what’s wrong?” Neil asked. as Andrew walked to the ledge pulling out a pack of cigarettes.  Andrew shook his head as he lit a cigarette.  “Do you wanna talk about it?”  Andrew shook his head, no, again.  They could just hear the slow music from the roof.  Andrew chugged the rest of the champagne.

“I wanna dance,” Andrew repeated.  Neil sighed and closed the gap between him and his boyfriend; he held out a hand and Andrew took it, pulling Neil close.  Neil could smell the cologne Nicky had picked out from him.  Andrew surprised Neil, pulling him close and leaning into him.  They’d been together for years, but Andrew still had very strict touching rules which just made Neil more nervous.  They didn’t so much dance as lean close to each other and sway together.  As soon as the song changed, Andrew pulled away and took a long drag of his cigarette.

“You gonna talk to me now?” Neil asked.  Andrew didn’t say anything for a long time, just stood there smoking.  When he finished with his cigarette he lit another with the burning stub.  Once done with the second, he turned back to Neil.

“Do you like dancing?” Andrew asked, and Neil shook his head, no.

“What?  No!  Not particularly.”  Andrew nodded and picked at his armband.

“You know I can’t give you this,” he said bluntly, waving his hand about.  Neil blinked, not comprehending what Andrew was really saying.  “Jeeze, Josten!  Why do you have to be so dense?”  Neil blinked and waited.  “A wedding,” Andrew finally said and Neil sighed.

“Andrew, I don’t want a wedding,” Neil said and Andrew glared at him.  “What could possibly make you think I did?”  Andrew fiddled with his collar and then shrugged.

“I mean, we’re here aren’t we?  You’re the best man, aren’t you?” Andrew asked.  Neil sighed a little.

“My best friend asked-”  Andrew squawked despite himself.

“I thought I was your best friend.”  Neil’s face fell a little.  He’d never seen Andrew like this in the past three years, and couldn’t think about the weirdness of the situation.

“Jeeze Minyard, dense much?  How much have you had to drink?”  Andrew opened his mouth to reply, but Neil interrupted him.  “You’re like my best best friend.  You’re my boyfriend.  I don’t want or need anything else from you.  I can’t believe weddings make you the biggest drama king,” he laughed.  Andrew made a face.

“I’m not-”  Neil pointed at him and Andrew closed his mouth.  He closed the gap between them again and leaned into Neil’s space but didn’t touch him.  “Can I kiss you?  Can I touch you?”

“Yes,” Neil whispered and Andrew brushed his lips gently against Neil’s and leaned into him so they could slow dance some more even though a fast song played in the background.  Neither of them noticed Nicky and Kevin until it was too late.  Nicky ran across the roof from Andrew holding his phone high, laughing at Andrew’s threats if he didn’t fucking delete it right now.

“It’s too cute,” Nicky yelled as Andrew wrestled him to the ground, tugging the phone away.  Yelling triumphantly, Andrew got to his feet and threw the phone over the side of the building just missing some wedding guests.  Nicky shrugged.  “I already saved it to the cloud.”  Andrew growled and walked away as Nicky called out to him he owed him a new phone.  Shrugging, Andrew stalked down the stairs and Neil followed him, shaking his head a little.  He never would have thought that weddings would have such an impact on Andrew.

  • People: The great thing about the Last Five Years is they are both equally to blame. You can’t say the relationship failed because of one more than the other.
  • Me on the outside: Oh, yeah, totally!
  • Me on the inside: I don’t know maybe it was the one who was cheating and trying to force his wife to go to parties she hated going to. Maybe it’s the one who kept neglecting and ignoring his wife to go to these parties. And really he was going to so many parties like all people did was stand around and talk would you not get bored eventually? Can he really not skip a couple parties?
  • People: …I mean Cathy was unsupportive….
  • Me on the outside: uh-huh
  • Me on the inside: I don’t know where you are seeing this other than not wanting to be dragged to parties and wanting her own success which are two reasonable wants. I mean she went to those parties for a very long time and was ignored. Also there was a point where she didn’t want him not to go to parties, just to parties without dragging her along. And she went to his book talks and all those kinds of things so I’m confused where we’re seeing all this lack of support that was apparently just as damaging as neglect and cheating.

buttergin  asked:

Idk if you still want Shakespeare asks BUT fun fact I was Paris in my all femme troupe's production of Romeo and Juliet. And since Paris isn't that big of a deal, I made him one, because we were going All Out. So I made 500 business cards that said Paris Escalus and handed them out to the audience and sang drunkenly at Juliet's balcony after the party and before Romeo got there. When I died in one performance my blood sprayed an entire wall and my white suit and it was AMAZING.

that’s truly iconic oh my god i wish i could have seen this production

Hoseok Scenario: Tiptoeing.

The Costume Party Series

Genre: Fluff.


-Gotta stay positive, gotta stay positive- Hoseok’s muffled voice echoed inside his car. His arms were resting on top of the steering wheel and his face was shoved down the klaxon, eyes closed, trying to pull out his best positive thoughts for tonight.

Oh going to the party of the month seemed like the best idea out there, and being him the one he was, he dragged his friends there to not go alone. And now he was the one suffering, stuck in the middle of traffic in an avenue close to the theater just because the whole main street was full and he had over twenty minutes searching for a place to park his car.

Now he didn’t really want to admit that maybe bringing his car wasn’t the best idea. Even after a whole day of convincing his parents that he had to take the car with him because what was a race runner without a car? Anything for the sake of his costume. And thanks god neither Seokjin or Yoongi were currently with him outside driving in circles, because convincing them took another full load of charm and effort that only Hoseok was capable to pull off, even though at the very end, Seokjin had to help him out in trying to convince Yoongi because the boy wasn’t what one could call an easy piece. But here he was, outside, missing the party he had worked so much to go and a sigh leaved his lips.

A klaxon sounded behind him and he perked up his face, smiling softly. Finally, the line of cars was moving.

-Ok I’ll just do another turn around the theater’s block - he chirped happily now, full of hope that maybe, just maybe, this time he was going to be able to find a spot. His fingertips danced upon the steering wheel while he hummed along the song that was playing on the radio.

Now he was getting near the theater again, the street almost memorized by him already and he sat straight on his seat, scanning through the street for the oh-so-desired spot for his car; but everything was as full as when he first arrived. A curse was dancing on the tip of his tongue wanting to be said out loud, was this for real? who in his right state of mind organizes a party and don’t think about where is people going to park their cars? Hoseok felt the start of a frown taking over his forehead. He was already on the verge of calling his friends and quit when a sight made him stop with the phone already on his hands.

To say that it was interesting, was still an understatement.

Hoseok stared at the sidewalk, a little away from the main entrance of the theater and the overall fuzz, there was a girl walking, a pretty baby blue dress waved on the night wind with her distracted steps and the fabric shone slightly to the light that the lampposts offered. Her hair was tied in an elegant updo with a pretty black headpiece at the front. He knew he should be looking to the street instead, but his eyes were glued on her.

Her frame, her walking, her way, he knew it all; the recognition of you running through his memory. He knew you and now he wanted to know why on earth where you walking barefoot in such a cold night and looking as if you didn’t really know where to go.

Keep reading

I was tagged by @olliedollie1204 (thank you!!!!)

Rules: Tag 10 of your followers you want to interrogate

Nicknames: AJ, AoftheJ, others that I can’t remember

Height: 5′6″

Current Time: 1:35 pm

Last Thing I Googled: pebble dash (blame off topic)

Favorite Musical Artist: idk man but ive been on a 21 pilots kick recently

Song Stuck in my Head: Where Did the Party Go? by Fall Out Boy

Last Movie I Watched: Pride and Prejudice

What I’m Wearing Now: my “Nap Team Captain” shirt and grey sweats

When I Created This Blog: July 2013

What I Post: Literally whatever I dont care anymore

Do I Have Other Blogs: Just the ones that I want to keep urls for. Oh and @endingtale but I haven’t done shit with it yet

Do I Get Asks Regularly: Nah

Why Did I Choose My URL: Because im gay for vanessa kimball

Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

Pokemon Team: Mystic 

Favorite Colors: Blue, Purple, Green, and red

Average Hours of Sleep: 6 aka not enough

Lucky Number: 5

Favorite Characters: The ones that look like a cinnamon roll but will actually kill you.

Number of Blankets I Sleep With: 3 because I’m a dragon who needs warmth

I’m Following: 349

I Tag: @loofooooottoo @itsscerys @biamack @roostersteeth @obiwankanopebi @cassidyscanary @shut-your-piehole @sneakysnekys @beware-the-seer-of-life and @official-pun-guy 

anonymous asked:

Hi! How are you, dear? Did you see the recent tapes from Bastille in Moscow? I think they'd great fun, a fantastic time, and as much as I love Will, Woody, Charlie and all of the tour guys, I'm so happy to see Dan and Kyle walking together, wearing both red plaid. I'm such a sap for them, can't help it. If I had a chance to meet Bastille, I would lock Dan and Kyle up in a rather comfy room together and would go partying with Woody, Will and Charlie. Have you ever been to one of their gigs?

Hi dear anon! I’ve seen all of Bastille’s recent tapes. I loved their tour in Russia, also because I’m studying this language. I was way too overjoyed(😃) to see Dan and Kyle walking together wearing matching clothes. I need them to continue! Oh, I would easily lock them in a room too. I want to see them doing fluffy things ❤ Yes, actually I have! It was on 07/02/17, in Milan, my first ever gig and I chose them. Goosebumps, truly. I still can’t believe I saw Dan with my OWN EYES singing, and all of the boys together on stage. I really can’t believe it. What about you?
Hope you’re alright! x

Cowboys and Costume Parties

Okay, so I really really don’t like this one and I’m in the middle of working on my Haunted Septiween stuff and I’m trying to only write cute, adorable things I like.  Idk. I don’t like it.  If someone else wants to turn this into something, please do.  

I got dragged to a costume party and you’re the hot cowboy I’ve been crushing on forever and I’m just going to leave where is my ride? Oh, you want to drive me home? Okay.

Keep reading

A Sherlolly Christmas Story From My Six Year Old Son.

Okay, P was very excited about this one. Please forgive all the parentheticals… It’s a doozy and I couldn’t help myself.



It was Christmas at Sherlock and Molly’s. They were going to have a party. So they invited: John and Mary, Greg, Mycroft and Mrs. Hudson. But also they invited Moriarty. (Now, he said ‘the bad guy’… I did help him with the name. I described Jim. He said “Oh, yeah, the one who put on the crown!” Yes, I allowed my, then 5 year son old to watch Sherlock – it was on PBS – that makes it educational.)  Moriarty had two guards with him, they had tasers. He was handcuffed behind his back. (Okay, stay with us. P wanted to include Jim because 'even bad guys deserve to have a happy holiday’.)

They only had sweets at the party. They had ice cream, cake, candy and special banana pudding. Mycroft was really pleased. After they ate they exchanged gifts.

Everyone gave Moriarty his presents first. Sherlock got him a giant stuffed panda (and I never even showed him the GNS clip, that’s all him). Molly gave him a teddy bear. John and Mary got him a recliner, so he could relax and make evil plans. It will be his 'thinking place’. Greg got him a bottle of his favorite soda. Mycroft got him a 'grim reaper costume’. (The irony is not lost on me!)

Sherlock got Mrs. Hudson a pack of balloons and he got Greg photo of the whole group. Sherlock got Molly a new pink and purple door. (I don’t ask, I just type)

Everyone else got a bunch of gifts too. (He lost his steam with the gifts.)

After the gifts they played a game called 'Hide and Go Light’. (This is an actual game my kids play, lights out, flashlights in hand. Think hide and go seek in the dark.) They let Moriarty out of his handcuffs to play the game and when the lights went off, he stole Greg’s photo! (Gasp)

Moriarty ran down the stairs and stole Molly’s car then took off, speeding! Then he went into a building that said 'no guns and no smoking’ on a sign in front. And guess what? He had a gun in his pocket and a cigarette in his mouth. (This is because of the sign we saw at the Water Dept. today… LOL) Then he stole a TV, an empty spray bottle and someone’s scanner. Then he took off in the car again. He went TOP SPEED! (I’m actually laughing as I type!)

Finally Sherlock and the guards stopped him with their cars. Moriarty shot his gun up in the air, making fireworks. It was confusing to everyone and he escaped so he ran back to the party. When he went to the door and tried to sneek back in. But the guards and Sherlock caught up and Molly was there too. They had him cornered. Molly grabbed him and 'took him down’.

They caught him. And they did NOT let him have fun at the party. They took him back to jail.

Then they gave Moriarty’s gifts to homeless people.  

Merry Christmas!
From 'P’

No one wanted to take their turns because we were stunned and wanted to see how this would end.
  • The warforged in our party decided he was going to drag an adult red dragon into a lava pool and drown it.
  • DM: I dunno if you can pull that off...
  • The warforged teleports the red dragon into the lava, then himself. Crits on the grapple.
  • Player: Oh but I can!

anonymous asked:

Let,s imagine all the SnK characters in a pool party, what would each one of them would be doing????

Eren would be jumping into the pool nonstop, Levi would just want to be left alone, oh my god why did he even go there?, Ymir would be tanning and drinking cocktails, when she’s not busy pushing bertholdt and Reiner into the pool, Armin would chill in a balloon tire in the pool and chat with people who he just floats by, Mikasa would be in the water the whole time, because she’d be too conscious to show herself, Hanji would initiate a water gun fight and win, Sahsa and Connie would get drunk and Connie would throw up into the pool at the end of the night

I didn’t even tell you guys. I got one of my super conservative coworkers like, really mad at me the other day, and it was kind of super funny?

So, yall know I teach middle school. Well, I’m sitting in my room during my planning period with the other two women who teach 7th ELA with me. And one of them (who’s about my age and politically moderate) mentions that she doesn’t know who she’s going to vote for in the primary, or even which party.

And I say, “Well, you know who I’m voting for. haha,” because we’ve talked about politics every now and then.

And my other coworker (who is…let’s say a few years from retirement at most and when asked to decorate our doors with our favorite book, picked The Bible) says, “oh, who?”

“Uh, Bernie Sanders.” Here we go. 

“Oh!” she said, instant frown. “You want this country to be socialist?!”

“Well…yeah?” I saw, grinning awkwardly. 

She seems like she’s getting angry. “Then why don’t you move to a socialist country?”

I shrug. “I…kind of do in some ways? I just want it to be, ya know, more socialist?” 

“America is NOT a socialist country in any way.” Now I can see her turning a little red in the face. 

I look around, mostly for comedic affect, because I’m grinning and she’s all pissed. “….we teach in a public school.” 

“You want the government to take all your money?” Hands on hips. 

I lean back in my chair. “For free health care and college? Sure.”

Oh now she’s really pissed. “I can’t stand the thought of the government taking my money and giving it to lazy bums.”

I’m still smiling, because like, ok? “I’m kind of ok with that, actually.”

She literally stormed out of my room and did not speak to me the rest of the day. 

literally no one cares if you don’t vote “in protestation” though….the government isn’t gonna be like “oh wow look 40% of people didn’t vote i guess we’re doing something wrong”, no, instead, they are happy because you help them perpetuate the system, especially right-leaning parties/conservatives. youth disengaging from democracy is EXACTLY what these people want

part 1

“Oh stop being so ridiculous, Y/N,” your best friend Julia slaps your arm. “You look great, just like you always do. Besides, you could come to the party looking like shit and no one would know that it’s you, because it’s a masquerade.”

“I don’t want to go to a party, Julia,” you whine, rubbing the spot on your arm were Julia hit you. “I would much rather stay home.”

“Stop being so boring.”

“I don’t even know these people,” you say, sitting down on Julia’s bed. “They’re from another town, another college and… I don’t know, but they’re complete strangers.”

You would much rather stay home, reading a book than going out partying with some people that you’ve never met before. You see, you’re studying to become a doctor, while these people are just going to college for the parties. You came from the nice parts of town, you studied at the fancy college with a bunch of other just like you. You weren’t like them.

“Oliver isn’t,” Julia turns to face you, her blonde hair falling down her shoulders. Oliver is Julia’s hash-smoking-douche-of-a-boyfriend. You don’t like him. At all. “He’s not a stranger.”

“If all of his friend are like him, then I definitely don’t want to go.”

“Shut up and get dressed.”

-

You’re dressed in black from your neck down to your toes. Wearing a black and tight turtleneck, skinny jeans and boots. You’re wearing a black beanie, and there’s a black masquerade mask covering your face.

“I don’t even look like a thief!” you whine.

“Yes you do!” Julia groans, bringing you with her in the direction from where the music is coming from. “You look like a hot ass thief who needs to calm down for once! Just please, can you forget about school and your parents and about your stupid obsession about being the perfect daughter and just relax?”

“I am not obsessed with being the perfect daughter!” you say, defending myself.

“Yes you are,” Julia looks back at you, a laugh escaping her red-painted lips. “We both know it.”

“Will you stop it?” you ask, smiling. “I thought we were here to have fun?”

Julia squeals, dragging you up the stairs and to the house were the party is held. “Yes! We’re going to have so much fun!”

-

Well, at least Julia were having fun. For the past hour she’s been either making out with her boyfriend or drinking some kind of strong alcohol. You, on the other hand, did not have fun. You didn’t know a single person, and you weren’t planning on getting to know anyone either. The party simply sucked, and you just really wanted to go home.

With a deep sigh, you move towards the kitchen. You can’t leave without Julia, so you guess you will just have to make the best of the situation. When arriving in the kitchen, you notice with relief that there’s not even near as many people in there as in the other rooms.

Your eyes scan the room, searching for a drink that doesn’t have any alcohol in it. There’s beer, vodka, some red mixture along with a dozen of other drinks that you don’t know the name of.

“Looking for something, doll?”

You look up at the sound of a voice speaking to you. It’s a boy. Tall and broad. You can’t see his face that well, considering he’s wearing a batman mask that covers most of it. You can see a pair of ice blue eyes staring down at you though.

“Oh, I was just trying to find something to drink, but-“

“Let me guess? You’re new at this, huh?” the boy smiles, the black ring in his bottom lip grazing his white teeth. “C’mon, I’ll make you a drink.”

“No, no, no, calm down, batman,” you say, a nervous chuckle escaping from your lips. “I do not need some strange guy to make me a drink, just so he can get me drunk and do whatever weird stuff people on this party do. When I say that I want a drink, I mean something non-alcoholic, ever heard of that?”

“I’m Luke.” He says, smiling again.

“Huh?”

“You said that you wouldn’t accept a drink from a stranger. So now that you know my name, I’m not a stranger anymore.”

“Sorry, Luke, but that is not the way it works.”

“Water is over there,” he nods towards a cooler. “So are you going to tell me your name?”

“I’m a thief,” you say, your hand running down your side as if to show him your costume. “I’m afraid I can’t let you know my name. Especially not since you’re batman.”

“So give me your alter ego, then,” he says. “You know that mine is batman.”

“I don’t have one.”

“Of course you do,” he smiles, handing you a water bottle from the cooler. “Villains have alter egos.”

“So if I’m a villain, that makes you a superhero, right?” you ask accepting the bottle. “Which means, that we’re enemies. Which would mean that we shouldn’t be talking to each other.”

“Says who?”

“The superhero rules.”

“Well then you’re very lucky, miss,” Luke smiles, dimples forming in his cheeks. “Because I don’t follow any rules.”

-

“So you don’t go to this school…” Luke tilts his head to the side, watching you. “That means that you’ve either travelled really far, or that your parents are some rich upper-class people paying for your education.”

“I’m not telling you!” you laugh when Luke pouts. “Sorry.”

“Why not?”

“Why would I? I don’t know you.”

“I would say upper-class parents…”

“Why?”

“Because you’re so careful and so reserved,” Luke smiles. “And because when you talk, you sound really smart and sophisticated.”

“I do not!” you laugh. “oh my god, no.”

“Tell me.”

“Nope.”

“What about your name then?”

“Sorry.”

“Age?”

“20,” you put your hands in your lap, turning to Luke. “You?”

“21.”

“So you’re old, huh?”

“I am not old!” Luke chuckles. “I’m a year older than you.”

“You’re old.”

“You’re mean.”

“I know,” You smile at him, leaning your head against the tree behind you. “Sorry.”

You’ve been talking to Luke for the past hour, and to your surprise, you actually enjoyed his company. He’s nice, sweet even, not at all the way you first thought he’d be like. It feels good to not be little miss perfect for a while. No parents, no responsibilities, no fancy life or high expectations to live up to.

“So I have a question.” Luke looks over at you. He sits close, his thigh against yours, your arms brushing against each other when moving.

“Shoot.”

“What would you do if I kissed you? Like, right now?”

You look up at Luke with big eyes. You’re surprised. Normally, you’d politely turn him down, let him know that you won’t kiss him before running away. But then again, none of this is normal. This isn’t the normal Y/N. Miss perfect is gone, and she’s been replaced by a flirty risk-taker. So why not?

You bite down on your bottom lip, keeping your eyes on his. “I don’t know… I guess you’ll have to find out that on your own.”

“Okay.” Luke smiles, one of his big hands suddenly cupping your cheek. You hope and pray that he can’t hear your fast heartbeats, or that he can’t feel the way your cheeks gets all warm from his touch.

And then his lips are on yours, moving slowly, causing your heart to freak out even more. You could honestly keep kissing him for about forever. His lips moves in sync with yours, almost as if they were meant to kiss yours.

“Oh my god, there you are!” you’re being dragged back to reality when you suddenly hear Julia’s voice. You break the kiss, looking up at a rather drunk Julia. “We need to go home! Like now. Your parents have tried calling me four times.”

You’re up on your feet in a second, about to follow Julia when a pair of long fingers finds their way around your wrist. “Wait.”

You turn around, staring into Luke’s blue eyes. “I am sorry, I really have to go…”

“Just…” he scans your face, his hand letting go of your wrist. “Your name?”

You smile. “Y/N.”

And then you’re gone.

Short Story 💦🍑🍆

SHORT STORY (A SEX PARTY) 🍆💦🍑

AS I WALK TO THE FRONT DOOR I KNOCK BEING NERVOUS THE DOOR SLOWLY OPENS INSIDE ITS VERY DARK WITH ONLY ONE BLUE LIGHT ON ALL I HEAR IS OH YEA FUCK ME NIGGA SKIN TO SKIN POUNDING ACTION. AS I TAKE MY CLOTHES OFF IM GETTING MOIST IN THE BOOTY HOLE GETTING EXCITED BECAUSE I WANTED TO GET FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF BECAUSE IT WAS MY FIRST TIME GOING TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS, SO AS I WALK INTO THE ROOM I SEE LUBE CONDOMS EVERYWHERE NIGGAS WALKING AROUND NAKED SWEATING THE SMELL OF THE APARTMENT WAS MUSTY SWEATY DICK N BOOTY N IT WAS A VERY STICKY FEELING LIKE ONE DUDE ON THE COUCH RIDING THIS GUY DICK MOANING WITH SAYING YES NIGGA IM TAKING THIS DICK OTHER DUDES WERE ACROSS THE ROOM JACKING OFF ON A BED WITH BLACK SHEETS NEXT TO A WINDOW DUDES WERE COMING FROM OUT OF EVERY WHERE I WAS LIKE OH MYY 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽SO I WALK AROUND JUST TO FILL OUT THE ATMOSPHERE DUDES GRABBING MY ASS GRABBING MY DICK SO I FOUND ONE DUDE WITH A BIG DICK AND LOOKED LIKE A NICE BODY WITH TATS SO GRABBED HIS THROBBING HARD DICK AND SAID I WANT YOU TO FUCK ME HE SAID SO WASSUP THEN SO I PUT THE CONDOM ON, ADDED LUBE TO HIS SITUATION 🍆HE BENT ME OVER SLOWLY AGAINST THE WALL 🍑STICKING HIS DICK IN ME PUTTING IT N AND OUT PUTTING HIS ARMS WRAPPED AROUND MY NECK WHISPER N MOANING SAYING DAMN THIS BOOTY IS TIGHT THIS SHIT FEEL GOOD HE GRADUALLY STARTS POUNDING ME SWEAT DRIPPING ALL ON ME I WAS LIKE OH YEA FUCK ME NIGGA DONT STOP SO HE CONTINUES BENDS ME OVER ON COUCH N FUCKS ME HARD IN FRONT OFF ALL DUDES THEY COME CIRCLING AROUND AS I GET THE DICK IN ME THEY STROKING THEY DICKS AS HE BEATING ME UP I TELL HIM DONT SLOW DOWN KEEP FUCKING ME ALL YOU HEAR WAS POUNDING SOUNDING LIKE WE WAS FUCKING IN OCEAN HAD MY BOOTY CREAMING ALL SORTS OF CRAZY SO AS IM CREAMING ON HIS DICK HE SAYS HE ABOUT TO CUM I SAY YES NIGGA BUST THAT NUT SO AS HE CUMMIMG I MOAN LOUDER HE GETS LOUDER AND BUST THAT NUT I COULD FILL THE CONDOM INSIDE OF ME FILL UP WITH HIS NICE WARM CUM 💦💦💦HE PULLS OF OF ME I COULD FILL THE CREAM FROM MY BOOTY DRIPPING DOWN MY LEGS WE BOTH MOVED INTO THE BATHROOM WHERE THERE WAS A RED LIGHT WE CLEAN UP AND GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS THE END. 😈😈😈 DID YOU GET HARD🤔🤔🤔🍆🍆 and

I just skimmed a “think” piece on how you shouldn’t ask someone about their work because some people don’t want to be defined by their work.

The author describes herself as a recent grad and marketing rep in her byline.

Can we stop pretending for a second? People ask you about your work and you answer. 1% of those people care. Basically no one cares. Stop pretending that people care and think anything of you other than “oh god I’m going to kill my wife for bringing me to this party and making me meet these people” or “I would probably rather eat a pig testicle than deal with this date for another 5 minutes.”

Everyone is insufferable and if you’re having bad feelings about being defined by your career I suggest you live with a family in section 8 housing and see what real job problems are. Like, fuck if my parents ever had time to be concerned whether or not they were DEFINED by their fucking careers.

Why am I so mad! I want to cull the weak when I feel like this!! Which is VERY concerning tbh.

Fic Recs: Recent Thorki Goodness (one-shots)

I’ve read oh so many great Thorki fics of late that I want to spread the word about because I’ve enjoyed them so darn much. I feel so lucky to be a part of this wonderful fandom, and glad that so many writers are keeping the Thorki ship going. Thank you all for your amazing work! Readers, please show your fic writers some love - comment, share, and give kudos for their excellent work.

@izazov‘s “Face to Face” is a pitch-perfect, smoldering, and delicious story about Loki following Thor to a rather debauched party with the intent of trying to seduce him. This manages to be incredibly sexy and intense without being explicit, which is no mean feat, and the Thorki feels are present in force.

I’ve had @thorsicle‘s “Play it Right” in my to-rec list for a month because I adore fics where Loki torments Thor until he’s a wrecked mess. And this one is a lot of fun, featuring Thor wearing a remote-controlled vibrator to a movie and Loki doing his best to tease and edge him mercilessly. Very hot.

@needleyecandy‘s “Chase’s End” features vampire Loki tempting vampire hunter Thor into joining him for eternity. Wonderful sexual tension and Loki is just completely irresistible as a vampire. I do so hope this will have a follow-up!

I’m sure that many of you have already read @umakoo‘s delightful “Handyman” - I thought it was so wonderfully done and hot that I’ve read it twice! University student Loki is taken with the hot, blond handyman he sees around his apartment building, and things heat up when Thor agrees to help Loki with some, ahem, maintenance issues. This fic takes a classic porn setup and creates something that’s lighthearted and very sexy. So well done!

@curds-and-wheyface‘s “Moody Nudes” is the obscenely sexy tale of teenage photographer Loki who goes to great lengths and tries a few devious tactics in order to get brother Thor to model nude for him. Picturing this scene unfolding nearly overheated me! 


Thanks to all of these wonderful fic writers and all the writers, artists, and fans who keep this fandom going!

“i can’t believe you’re making me come to some dumb party when i could be in my dorm studying.” you complained to your best friend michael.

“oh c’mon. all you do is study. you need to learn how to have a little fun. live a little!” he exclaimed loudly, causing people to stare at you.

“shut up!” 

“you are going to have so much fun tonight.” he smirked, grabbing your hand and pulling you into his frat house. 

the thing with him being in a frat is that he’s always partying, and he always wants you to go to them, but you’re just not a party person. you only agreed to go to this one because it was for his birthday, and he wouldn’t let you miss this one.

as soon as the two of you stepped into the house, he was pulled away from you and you were left alone in the crowded room. you sighed. this always happened. 

you walked into the kitchen, grabbing yourself a drink. there was some blue punch in a bowl, ad you knew it would be overly spiked, so you walked into the back room (where only the frat boys, you, and a few others were allowed to be in) and grabbed a beer. 

it wasn’t until a few hours later when you finally got to see michael again. you could tell he was drunk as soon as he approached you. 

“daancee with me babe.” he grabbed your hand, pulling you onto the dance floor. he placed his hands on your waist, while yours was around his neck. you knew he was drunk,  but michael wasn’t one to act out of control when he was drunk. 

“hey, “y/n?’

“yeah?” 

“you know i love you?”

“mike…” 

“no i’m not that drunk. i really do love you. you’re my best friend, and i’ve loved for so long, so please, just let me do this. just once. and then you can choose where you want to go from there.” you nodded. 

he leaned down, cupping your cheeks and kissing you softly. when he pulled away, you just pulled him closer, lips close, but not touching and mumbled, 

“i love you too clifford.”

  University!5sos blurb night with @imperfectionisallthatsneeded!! request, submit and tag us in your blurbs!!!