oh and this is my first actual graphic

She’s Fighting

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Summary: You and Sam meet up after a little over a year apart. Something about him is different, but you can’t seem to place it. All you can think about is how much he’s grown, how much fun the two of you had as kids together, and how curious you are about what he actually does for a living - oh, and how badly you want to jump his bones.

Word Count: ~3,900

Warnings: canon divergence, Sam using his powers, Crowley being a dick, demon blood stuff (mildly graphic), cursing, angst, smut (oral - female receiving, fingering, unprotected sex)

A/N: This is written for @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog Trop Challenge. My trope was “friends when kids, now there’s an attraction.” I started writing this a few weeks ago and then my computer crashed and I lost it because I’m an idiot and didn’t save it anywhere. This is not at all what the first version was like, but hey, it’s something.

*Flashbacks are in italics

Originally posted by spn-mostly

“Sam Winchester?” You stepped up to the bar and sank down on the stool beside the large man.

He spun on his barstool, sipping from his beer as his eyebrows raised in surprise.

“[Y/N]?” He set his bottle down and opened his arms.

Willingly, you sprung forward and flung yourself into his arms, wrapping yours around his middle and nuzzling your face into his chest.

“Sammy…” You sighed, eyes falling closed as you took in the feeling of your best friends arms wrapped around you.

“Been too long, sweetheart.” He breathed against your hair.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

M, 5h won best music video for the iheart awards. They posted it on their official website. Harmonizers are calling the awards fixed. However iheart just tweeted afterwards that Zayn won break out solo artist. I don't know what happened, but this makes even less sense for GG to be brought into his acceptance speech. I think they had him for best video, but then changed it when they double checked the numbers? Otherwise why intro GG as his costar for his break out solo award?

I’m confused what did Zayn actually win yesterday because 5H won best music video but Zayn posted a thank you for best music video but now they’re saying Zayn won best breakout artist but that wasn’t even a category? ahhhh this has no punctuation because thats exactly how it was in my head

Oh man. OH MANNNN. So the short of it is, it looks like iHeart gave Zayn an award that he didn’t *actually* win, and then to cover up their fuckup, invented a category that never existed in the first place.

Some intern really done fucked this one up, because Zayn sure thought he was accepting an award for Best Music Video (otherwise, Gigith’s presence makes even less sense), and iHeart posted on their Snapchat that he did - you can see the graphic on the original video (that they since deleted):

Hell, the media even reported on it:

Buuuuut yeah, Fifth Harmony actually won that award and accepted it:

In reality, Zayn did not win that award, but actually won a seemingly random category called Best Solo Breakout:

But guess what? Best Solo Breakout is a category that never existed in iHeart’s original list of nominations, as you can see on their page and a screen shot I uploaded here just in case hoes try to update that. 

Here’s the thing. Televised award shows are usually fairly rigged (even socially voted ones), because it makes for shit TV if you’re giving awards to artists that aren’t there to accept them. That said, Fifth Harmony had the analytics for best music video, their win seems legit. 

But this is me at iHeart’s fuckup right now:

TLC Characters as Things My Friends have Said (Part 2)
  • Cinder: We're gonna kick life in the balls... Someday.
  • Kai: Teachers grade you based on your suffering.
  • Scarlet: How does one angrily bathe?
  • Wolf: He's as pure as the leader of Canada.
  • Cress: I made graphic design my bitch.
  • Thorne: My mother, cockblocking since 8th grade.
  • Winter: Actually the Mongols are chasing the potatoes.
  • Jacin: D is for disappointment.
  • Iko: Oh shit I just spilt hot soup on my boobs!

look what you done!

dedicated to @woanu because she’s a “motherfuckin” meme of a child that i love + as thanks for listening to me moan about this for 2-3 days♡

The Catcher (Baseball AU Chapter 1)

Warnings: slow burn, fluff, angst, smut at some point probably, mentions of death

A/N: ALRIGHT I am so excited for this!! I got this idea when the DEH softball games were a thing and I was like, I gotta do this. Also this will be a fem!reader. I really wanted this to be a reader insert, but there will be some things that may or may not pertain to you as an individual, this is mainly for major plot points. Anyways, I hope you like it.

(P.S. I’m sorry if things seem confusing, I promise everything will be explained later on. Also yes this will be x jared because… I mean… he’s honestly the best.)

Chapters: 1 2


“New law states that any female can participate in a school baseball team if she wishes. She will be allowed to participate in tournaments and any further competition that rises in the team’s schedule.”


“Are we almost there?”

“It shouldn’t be too far now.”

Your dad looked over at you with a small smile. You returned your attention back to the passing scenery from your car window. You were listening to your favorite band with your earbuds in and your feet kicked up on the dash.

“Are you going to try out for the baseball team this year?”

“I guess.”

You really weren’t excited about joining the team. You knew you would make it in a heartbeat, but you were afraid of what would come of you joining.

“I know you’re stressed about moving three states away, (Y/N), but this is a good opportunity for me. For us.”

You scoffed,

“Right. You get a brand new team for your brand new corporation and I get a shitty school with a horrible baseball team. But yeah, no, it’s great for the both of us.”

Your dad briefly glanced at you and turned his attention back onto the road.

“First of all young lady, language. Second of all, you’re getting a new start! The team isn’t that great but you have an opportunity to make them great. Just try, (Y/N). As for school, it’s small, but it’s nice. I’m sure you’ll be fine. You might even be the school’s star athlete. Don’t quit before it’s even started.”

You sighed and stared at your phone. Needless to say, you were nervous beyond anything else. You were going to be the new girl at a small public school and you are trying out for probably the worst known baseball team in all of Indiana.

You are moving to Indiana from Virginia because your father got a new job opportunity with more pay and it will be a huge step for his corporation. You were happy for your dad, you just wish it didn’t involve you moving so far away.

You looked up from your phone when your dad turned off the engine. Your dad stepped out of the car and you followed, looking at the house. It was a nice two story house with a white picket fence around the yard. It had beautiful roses and hedges all alongside the perimeter of your yard. Everything was “perfect” which is why you hated it so much. There wasn’t a single thing to hate about it except for the fact that it’s not home. It’s not your home.

You walked inside the house and went upstairs to your room. Your bed was on the left side of your room with your dresser. On the right side was your closet, guitar, and desk. It was pretty simple, but you were satisfied. You walked over to your window and sat on the ledge. You leaned on the pillows and noticed someone in the window of the house across from yours.

You pulled back the curtains to try and get a good look at them. It was a boy who looked about your age. You sat there and watched him move about his room. You let the curtain fall back to its previous place and moved to lay on your bed.


You took out your earbuds and walked downstairs. You’re met with two strangers who turned to greet you.

“(Y/N), these are our next door neighbors, the Kleinmans.”

The smiling woman walked over to you and stuck out her hand.

“It’s so great to finally meet you. Who knew you would be living next to us. We are huge fans of you.”

You hesitantly took her hand and shook it.

“Uh, thanks.”

Just then the man, who you assumed was her husband, walked over to you, putting his hand out.

“We have a son who is your age and he’s on the team.”

You briefly rolled your eyes and whispered as you shook his hand.

“Of course he is.”

You notice your dad give you a disapproving look. He crossed his arms and smiled when the Kleinmans faced him. Mrs. Kleinman spoke,

“Will (Y/N) be trying out for the team this year?”

Your dad opened his mouth, but you interrupted.

“Okay, can I leave now?”

Your dad clenched his jaw and nodded. You ran back up the stairs.

“I promise you she is. She’s just been… a bit stressed about the move. I swear she doesn’t normally act like this.”

Mrs. Kleinman smiled at him.

“Oh, I’m sure she is. Moving is never easy. Especially moving to our small town. We know it’s not much, but we are all thrilled to have you two as members of our community.”

“Thank you. That means a lot to me and even though she doesn’t show it, it means a lot to (Y/N), too.”

“When you both get settled, you’re welcome to have dinner with us any time you’d like.”

You sat on the window sill again and huffed. You went through the pictures on your phone and looked at all the memories of you and your friends and your previous baseball team. You could feel a tear run down your cheek.

You quickly wiped it away when you heard a tap on your window. You ignored it and opened up your Instagram.


You ignored it yet again and kept scrolling.


You sighed.


You pulled the curtains back to see what the commotion is. You saw the boy from before sitting at his window. He waved at you. He motioned you to open up your window. You pulled the curtains in front of you and walked away from the window. You were not in the mood for talking.

“(Y/N), dinner’s ready!”

You didn’t feel like eating. You decided to turn in early to just forget about this day. You rolled over to turn off your lamp and noticed the framed picture of you and your parents. You sighed and touched the frame. You retracted your hand and stuffed it under your pillow. You closed your eyes, bracing for the next day at your new school.


“Miss (L/N), I assure you, your time here will be as fun as it can be. It’s a little smaller than what you’re used to, but this way you can really get to know those around you. I will send someone in to show you around. One moment.”

You sat there in the principal’s office. You glanced around the office and noticed many certificates he’s gotten for doing his job. Just then a girl walked in the room. She had glasses and her hair was up in a ponytail. She stuck her hand out towards you.

“Hi, I’m Alana Beck.”

You shook it briefly.


“(Y/N) (L/N). I already knew you were coming in this morning.”

You glanced back at Principal Brown who had a big smile on his face.

“Miss Beck is one of our smartest.”

You turned your attention back to Alana who was beaming.

“Yeah, I can tell.”

Alana opened the door for you.

“Shall we?”

You walked out of the room and followed Alana. You walked through the empty halls and looked at the classrooms, barely listening to her explain the classes. You saw three boys huddled around a locker about 10 feet ahead of you. Alana followed your gaze and noticed the boys. She walked over to them and greeted them.

“Hi guys, I’m showing (Y/N) around this morning. She’s new.”

A tall, lanky boy with brown hair who was wearing a black hoodie, black jeans, and black boots, a dirty blond-haired boy with a kind face who was wearing a blue polo, tennis shoes, and khakis, and your neighbor who wore glasses and had on a graphic tee with a flannel over it and was wearing cargo shorts all turn to face you and Alana. The tall boy greets you first.

“I’m Connor. This is Jared and Evan.”

Jared pointed at you.

“Hey, you’re my new neighbor, right?”

You crossed your arms and nodded,


Evan awkwardly smiles at you and Alana continued,

“Connor and Jared are the captains of the baseball team here.”

Connor and Jared avoided your gaze, which was odd to you.

“Oh cool. What positions?”

Connor perked up.

“I’m shortstop, Jared’s catcher, Evan’s centerfield, and my sister is first base.”

“You actually have another girl on the team?”

Connor smiled and a small hint of a blush appeared on his cheeks.

“Uh yeah. Kind of a sibling thing.”

“Cool. Color me impressed. Most teams just cut the majority of girls who try out.”

Evan cleared his throat.

“A-Are you trying out for the team this year?”

Jared and Connor looked at him with wide eyes. You held onto the straps of your backpack and shrugged,

“I kinda have to. I mean, my dad would go into cardiac arrest on the spot if I didn’t.”

Evan chuckled. Alana spoke up again,

“Well, we gotta get her to her next class. Bye guys.”

The boys watched you walk away. Jared hit the back of Evan’s head.

“Ow! What was that for!?”

“Dude, you just asked (Y/N) (L/N) if she was trying out for our shitty team!”

“I don’t see the problem with asking that!”

Connor interrupted them,

“She already said she would, so let’s be satisfied with that for right now. It’s no doubt she knows our record.”

“I feel like I shouldn’t even be allowed to talk to her.”

Evan looked at Jared in confusion.

“I’m sure she doesn’t feel that way. She probably wants to be seen as just a regular kid like anyone else and not a star.”

Jared faced him.

“But she is a star dude. And you can’t deny that she doesn’t want to be here. It’s clear as day.”

Connor crossed his arms.

“Let’s just be happy she’ll be on our team for a little while. Maybe we can actually win some games this year. Even if it’s just a couple.”

Evan and Jared nodded in agreement and walked to their next classes.

Alana stopped in front of your Psychology class door and turned to you.

“This is you. I’ll be right here after your class to walk you to lunch. I hope you have a good time here.”

You smiled at her and watched her leave. You faced the door and sighed.

“Okay, (Y/N), you can do this. Just walk in, talk about yourself, then everyone will forget all about you. Okay.”

You, nervously, turn the handle of the door and walk inside.

“Oh, hi! You must be (Y/N)!”

first impressions playing Final Fantasy XV

the graphics are phenomenal oh my god.. hyper-realistic.. and so crisp.. im shook!!!

great soundtrack! love the battle song and the exploration song. also florence singing the opening.. loves it

im actually liking the battle system.. i guess it’s something to get used to though. it’s definitely fluid and you have to do some strategies. still have to understand how spellcasting and elemancy works though.. but the defend, parry, and team functions are pretty fun and makes you think. doesnt feel too button-mashing which i like.. 

gameplay.. feels like an online game.. massive environment and there’s a day and night. so much room for exploration! feels open world

the camping/tent system is very wholesome and nice. i really love how daddy ignis comes up with recipes for you to level up your stats so in a way it’s your level up for the day. then you get to pick some photos prompto took

hot male protagonists, bara af.. obvi i want Gladdy to raw me. Ignis also is so hot.. and Prompto’s cute. it’s fun playing as bottom Noctis. loving this BROmaraderie

i think im gonna really enjoy this! feels like The Hangover plot-wise.. im still figuring out where the story goes from here but yeah feels like a game where bros are going on a trip but have to take detours and fight monsters and some bromantic moments i love it

anonymous asked:

Have you ever considered a career in art? You have the innate understanding of strong visual storytelling that seems perfect for storyboarding! I saw an ad from the team that does Archer looking for storyboarders and the first person I thought of was you. If not, what is your day job? Just curious, sorry if this is intrusive!

OH GOSH THANK YOU that means a lot!! I wanted to be a comic/storyboard artist for a long time but never took all the classes for it and unfortunately never pursued it professionally lol.  

I was actually a graphic design major in school and then shifted majors to animation, but I wanted to do more visual development rather than actually animate.  Stuff like storyboarding, design, layout, etc., and I think my graphic design background helped me in those areas.  I still idolize professional work like Samurai Jack and the original Clone Wars series because they’re examples of how strong design and color can tell a story clearly without relying on dialogue or narration.  I’ve always struggled to write but I can still communicate those ideas visually, and that’s what I try to do. 

Job-wise I graduated but life took me in a few sudden difficult directions so I’ve basically spent the last several years coping through games (like WoW!) and slogging through retail jobs instead of drawing.  For a few years I didn’t draw at all.  I’m embracing art again but it’s been a slow process.  I’m currently unemployed but I’m spending more time making art again, and ideally I would like to do it on a more professional level someday.  It’s just a matter of sticking to it this time lol. 

There’s A LOT of things I need to learn and improve upon before I attempt to get a job in the industry again, and at this point I’m afraid I’ve been away from the industry too long to really get my claws back into it, but thank you for thinking of me!  


mmatsuokaz requested: hunter x hunter edits?

“If you stay with him, you’ll end up killing him o n e  d a y.”

anonymous asked:

What are your favorite books? Ones you think every person should read, especially for writers to use as a resource to look toward for good writing. Send Santi my love!! 💕💕

ohooo boy well. idk if i have any specific books in mind that i’d say you should use as resources necessarily, because that’s not really how i read…i just read things that interest me, and then i just happen to find inspiration through that. 

with that being said…we all know i’m a slut for george rr martin’s a song of ice and fire series so that’s first on my list. u guys think MY hints/foreshadowing/etc. are involved, get a load of ol’ georgie over here with his prophecies and minor characters and shit that seem irrelevant but will actually turn out to be extremely plot important in some hugely involved betrayal of a main character or something. i’d also recommend harry potter too of course, because it’s timeless and charming and captures the gold of friendship and adolescence so well. oh john darnielle’s wolf in white van is good too, the story is told backwards and it’s really interesting. 

graphic novels are also my absolute favorite, saga is #1 in my heart. southern bastards, paper girls, daytripper, ghost world…not a graphic novelist, but i used to read a lot of chuck palahniuk when i was younger and while i now think his stuff is try-hard and contrived, i still think it played an important part in the growth of my writing. and i would recommend anything by toni morrison 1000%. also classics like the great gatsby, to kill a mockingbird, catcher in the rye…those were my three favorite books that i read in high school, especially the latter because i sure do love my shitty boy characters, and holden caulfield is the shittiest of them all.

i also really like watching spoken word/slam poetry videos haha. my favorite poet is warsan shire, i also like jeannann verlee a lot too. i’ve also been meaning to read a little life by hanya yanagihara for YEARS now but a dance with dragons owns my ass currently. anyway i wrote too much as usual, hopefully this answer suffices 🌞

p.s. santi loves u too

anonymous asked:

Hello! Dumb ask, but how do you make your header look like that? I'm no great graphic maker, so I would like to know. Still not a pro, and I'm willing to learn how! Thank you, love your graphics and gifs!

Hello!! (・∀・)ノ aaahh thank you ( ◡‿◡ ♡) oh no problem! okay but, this one?

or this one? I assume you mean this one 🤔  

okay actually it’s really simple!!! 

let’s go! (warning, my photoshop is in spanish and perhaps this is the worst tutorial that you will see in your life)

Keep reading

Edits of Vaedar’s fc+ smiles ( including that ‘ wasn’t me ’ playful one on the top right, one of my favs ).

pls do not reblog

anonymous asked:

oh my god im yellig i love a hero's tail


the graphics are BEAUTIFUL [for a first gen ps2 game], the story fits right into the classic games, it has the same athmosphere the classics game have [the only second generation spyro game that has it, in comparison to enter the dragonfly and the legend series], it’s actually connected to the earlier games and the humor isn’t cringeworthy

and god. the animations. THE ANIMATIONS.

and its. so. pretty.

anonymous asked:

Why you so love the werehog?

Ooooh anon,oh sweet,precious anon…

Why do I like him so much you ask? Well..:

-I find his design really cool! It instantly got my attention the moment I saw him for the first time in the intro of the game (Sonic Unleashed),not to mention the beautiful CGI graphic of that cutscene that made everything even better ;

-I like werewolves,so seeing a Sonic version of this kind of monsters was a double win for me! ;

-It may be weird(it really isn’t tbh..),but I actually enjoyed his gameplay (and I tried both the Wii and Xbox 360 version);I just had lots of fun punching with various combos those dark gaia minions;


-I just love its general concept,it was interisting to see the hidden ferocious side of Sonic…not as evil as Dark Super Sonic but not even as chill as normal Sonic..I dunno I found it pretty good! ;

-I admire the effort that Jason Griffith put at voice acting him XD I can imagine how hard it must’ve been (and of course let’s not forget his japanese voice actor…he did an AWESOME job!);

-he and the game where he comes from inspired me to make lots of art and comics about it and that’s a great thing in my opinion (I made lots of friends thanks to this!);

I can’t remember any of the other reasons right now,I hope these are enough for now >u< Have a good day!

Creative New York

“I had been approached a couple of times to write a cookbook in the first year of the restaurant. I kept saying it’s too soon, we don’t have a story to tell, I don’t have enough recipes. And then I was having a discussion with my husband, and he said, ‘Well would you think about doing a comic book cookbook or something?’ And we both stopped and were like, oh actually, that could work.”

– Amanda Cohen, chef of Dirt Candy. PopRally spoke with Amanda about her graphic novel cookbook. Read the full interview here.

[Artwork by Ryan Dunlavey, from “Dirt Candy: A Cookbook.” Image courtesy of the artist]

(via Creative New York)

Hey, guys. This is my first ever follow forever. ;; i have never thought that i’d be making one of these tbh. But yeah, I recently reached a certain number of followers and i’m just like  "aldsfjalsdkjf???“ seriously.  Plus, I’ve met new people through tumblr. I’ve been here on tumblr for 4 years ( since october 2010 ) but, it’s only this year where i actually started talking to people and continued making edits/gifs/graphics lmfao. I’ve been a quiet blogger ever since..and i still am (kind of lol).  So, i’m taking this opportunity to thank each and everyone of you. ^^ I’ve been quite inactive the past few days because i was busy making a video for you guys. Here’s the video: {x} please do read the description first before watching. <3 I apologize since, the video is out of sync. I’ve been trying to figure it out on how to sync the video with the audio but i just can’t. So, i’m just going to show it to you guys first before publicly posting it. ^^ I hope you guys enjoyed it even if the video’s out of sync. T_T Oh, it’s a chanyeol edit btw lmao. i might open up a request for videos or smthing but idk ^^; 

anyways, thank you  everyone.. for making my dash beautiful. The edits/graphics/pictures.gifs that i see on my dash everyday can literally make my frown into a smile. <3 plus, the tags can also make my day, too. I read tags okay. I enjoy reading them. HAHA. ok ok, i’m going to end my message here. /showers you all with love/ <3

( i’m actually thinking of changing my url. ;; what do u guys think? </3 )

 ♥ : friends
BOLD : mutuals  
italics: senpais/blogs/people who i really admire ; - ; <3 

94ist ; 90lh ; 1081p ; chenstellation ; krismegoodnight ; sehuniversity ; incrediyeol ; aishbaek ; dimpyeol ; ohfreakingsehuns ; essentyeol ; maochii ; chnbeau ; chrnyeol ; sehuk ; arbitrxry ; paradyoxal ; kvungsoos ; kool-lay ; wufanqin ; screwufan ; xieunie ; exoherent ; baekingkai jaelii-sarang ; babysen ; suhotness ; kyungsoonata ; zitaoh ; kaiseou ; byun-bk ; laemin ; dyokoro ; flawlesszitao ; jpglay ; luhanova ; jongdoses ; dearpcy ; xeuna ; wubulge ; mynqsoo ; porkbaekcon ♥ ; chanyoell; jimineh ; keyblers ; cxlty chanyeolismysexualfantasy ; wuyifanxing ; imperyeol ; kaiumi ; leuhans ; xingmealullaby ; tea-lairs ; shineesque ; chanyeolife ;  yeola ; amigonew ; dumbaek ; kyung-soo ; blackdyo ; kaimint ; prettaer ; jinkinetic ; prankchanyeol ; idol-obsessions ;  k-suho ; ohxing ; sedouche ; krystals ; dimplay ; dohdoro ; yeollovemebaek ; jonqyeols ; porkdo-bi ; pohroro ; xingxun ; jiyeolie ; exo-ho ; jongdaemort ; parkbingsoo ; zhonqrens ; luludeery ; laycii-h ; baekthosebyuns ; baekhyunify ; dothekaisoo ; sodobi ; baekaid-o ; oppakai ; chanyeolicious ; xehunter ; arihanagrande ; happyvirus  ; seokzi ; peasehunts ; byuns-baekery ; segasm ; sehunking ; kissul ; sehnsuous ♥  ; suhoah ; baekhyun-ah ; chan-lay ; kreys ; fantastaeng ; n-amjoon ; vanillatinks ; yixingology 

i follow a total of 400+ blogs i might follow new blogs again soon.and i think i missed out so many of u ;A; 
once again, thank you ALL so much. <3 xoxo 

edt: i def. missed out some of u guys omfg; 

Ok, since tumblr decided to be a little bitch last night and completely ate up my long long post I decided to write it again because it was about an important subject to me and it was a such an eye opening conversation.

Yesterday I had a very interesting conversation with a director from England. My friend and I have been helping him with this program that he was brought to implement here, and today he joined us for lunch as he waited for someone else he was supposed to meet later on.

He asked us to recommend some Arab comic artists and he noticed after a while that everyone we recommended either had a western\European style or an Asian\Japanese\Manga style. He told us that that’s not what he’s looking for and that he wants artists with an “Arab” “Style” meaning a style that would immediately make you think of the Arab culture when you see it. Think of the Chinese ink drawings for example. My friend and I exchanged a look and told him that he won’t find that here.

He thought this was odd and asked us if we (Arabs) had any particular art style. I suggested calligraphy art that they were more known to do back in the day but my friend pointed out that that’s not really something you can easily implement in a comic. So then I told him “Well, that’s all we have, it’s either calligraphy or geometry\pattern designs like the ones you’d see in a mosque for example”. He again thought this was odd because… Islam was famous for it’s art or artists or something of the like? I’m not sure who told him that or where he read it but Arabs we never really famous for their “paintings”, maybe for other forms and shapes of art but.. never paitning as there is a long endless argument between Muslim scholars on whether art was ok or if it was forbidden. 

He then asked us when was the Gulf\Middle East first introduced to comics? My friend said the 80s-90s and I said maybe even the 70s because of the English and French colonies in a huge majority of the Arab countries back then. So he said “Ok, so when or where was the first Arabic comic ever made?”

We both didn’t know the answer to that question but my guess was that it was probably in Egypt or maybe in one of the other African-Arab countries because they were closer to Europe compared to the other Gulf countries. 

He looked disappointed and said something like “Usually when something like this happens a "movement” starts. When did this happen here?“ We both told him that it hasn’t even started yet. I sincerely do hope that is starts soon. This confused him and he asked us who would generally read comics in the Arab community/world? My friend told him that no matter what kind of comic it is as long as it’s drawn then adults would assume it’s for children and I added that some of the people who grew up on them continued to like them in their adulthood but not many of those are out there and most of them are either readers or writers and not artists. He asked why this was and if it was a religious issue? We told him yes some people think it’s Haram\forbidden but not all. But even then art is looked down upon in this part of the world. No parent would willingly support their artist child, it’s more of a hobby than anything and even then it’s a "childish” hobby that you should “out grow” sooner or later.

At this point I remembered Muslim Persian and Chinese arts. They were mostly the ones who properly documented how they dressed\what was going on back then but each of one those cultures/countries had more interest in art and had developed their own “styles”. The Islamic component added to it and maybe inspired it a bit but you can’t say that that style and those drawings and paintings were “Arabic”. 

At this point I remember mentioning Arabian Nights, I don’t remember where I was going with that but he didn’t understand me and said “Oh yes, they’ve made all sorts of movies and shows and stories of it” and then we both added that those were all done by westerners and never by actual Arabs.

I, then, remembered the graphic novel “Habibi”. Personally I only first heard of it last year when my friend told me about it and then brought it so I can read it. At the time as I was more at awe with the art that I wasn’t as offended as I should’ve been with the actual content. I loved the art and now that I think about it I feel that if the “movement” he spoke of before ever took place it would’ve produced something similar to that. Probably more colorful but they would’ve definitely used Arabic letters and words and the Islamic geometry in the backgrounds. That was genius and I’m ashamed to think that no one of my people ever thought of doing that.

But anyways, let me explain why the content was offensive. The story if I recall correctly quoted various verses from the Quran, and throughout the chapters he’d tell the other prophets stories (like Noah, Abraham..etc) as they were told in the Quran. Now some of those stories were accurate but some weren’t. Which would’ve been fine if he hadn't quoted the Quran on those specific stories and pages or if maybe he wrote a disclaimer saying how this comic doesn’t stay true to the teachings of Islam and the Quran and that this is merely a work of fiction. But he didn’t, and that’s what I, now, find wrong\offensive. I mean if anyone who has no idea what Islam was about or what our beliefs were they'd immediately assume that everything in that book was the god honest truth about us, but it’s not. And the right thing to do was to be kind enough to mention that for his unknowing readers.

So anyways, I mentioned the comic but he thought I was talking about the french movie Persepolis. He emphasized the word “french” and it made me think that maybe he didn’t know it was directed and created by an Irani artist and that this was another case of misrepresentation by white people, so I told him that it was created by an Irani artist… etc and went back to the comic Habibi. Turns out he never heard of it before so I told him it was written by an American artist and that the story may not be accurate but the art style was beautiful. 

I googled the comic and showed him the image results I got on my tablet so he can have an idea what I was talking about. He started flipping through the images and said he didn’t like it. I assumed he was talking about the 18+ scenes in it and said “Well some (SOME SOME SOME yes I’m talking to you who’s reading this right now SOME) of it happened” so he said “Yes I know but that’s not what I mean, I would’ve been ok with it if you were the one telling me this but I find it offensive when other people talk or write about me, my people, and my experience” I should probably mention now that he was of African decent and he probably had to go through the misrepresentation of African people by white people and others. It was very nice how strongly he felt about it, I mean it wasn’t really his fight, it’s mine and my people’s fight but he felt for us, and that was much appreciated. Anyways, he continued to express how much he disliked the comic and how he found it offensive and after a while I started to feel like I’m being attacked a bit because I was the one who brought it up (I know I wasn’t but that’s what it felt like) I told him that “Yes I know but I only brought this up for the art style more than anything really”.

He said “yes but still this is very offensive” and then gave me back my tablet and asked my friend and I why we never tried to come up with this “Arabic” style. I don’t think either one of us wanted to do one or even wanted consider doing it, it’s not an easy job after all. My friend then explained to him that that’s not easy and that.. etc but I know realize that those were all excuses from me and her to not even try to do this.

I can’t remember if he said anything after this but soon after the person he was supposed to meet came and he left the table to sit with them. But even thou the conversation ended it still ran in my head. I mean he asked us questions we never asked ourselves before. 

As Arabs at some point in time we stopped creating and inventing and instead switched to taking and absorbing everything that was sent to us. We just accept whatever we see on tv. I mean we’re constantly told how we’re “less” than others because we’re not as “evolved” as the rest of the world is, we’re always shamed for being who we are and for sticking with our beliefs. We’re always reminded of how we’re part of the “3rd world countries” even thou they don’t even know that they’re using that term wrong. I’ve always stuck with my principles but I must admit I always felt “less” than other western people. 

We’re constantly misrepresented on tv. I’m sick of watching Indian and Hispanic actors trying and failing to mimic our prayers, I’m sick of hearing them try and fail at pronouncing our letters, I’m sick of them only showing the bad side of Arabs and never the good side, I’m sick of all the teens on tumblr creating hijabi ocs who don’t even act Muslim, they’re like any other oc but with a hijab. Sometimes they’re dressed in skimpy clothing and they’re drinking and shit and it’s very offensive. Just because you read one wikipedia page about Islam doesn’t make you an expert in it. I’m a born Arab and Muslim and I don’t have the guts to deny or confirm certain things in Islam because of how vast it is. You don’t even know how vast it really is. People, scholars, they dedicate their whole lives to learn about all it's rules and laws and… etc, and I don’t have that knowledge to go out and preach people about Islam so how can you? 

I feel like I’ve been talking to white people this whole time but there all of PoC artists who’re doing the same, just because you’re colored doesn’t mean you understand me or my religion, doesn’t mean you can misrepresent me and my identity thinking that since we’re all PoC that it’s ok.

I keep thinking of what our local media is made of. it's basically made of porn signers who steal songs from their western counterparts, bad actors who again steal movie plots from their western counterparts, and bad bad bad unrelatable and unrealistic dramas with poor acting, poor dialog,and an extremely poor misogynistic plot. 

I mean if that’s how we represent ourselves then how can I expect you to know who we are. We’re either shown as heartless terrorists, or as uneducated pieces of shit with loads of money, or as a female-oppressing people.

At this time and age we don’t have any good modern role-models, we don’t have any modern day people who have done or are doing amazing and inspiring stuff, we have no story, no essence, nothing worth writing about. I don’t know when we lost our essence but we need to get that back.

I’m sick of hearing my teacher and the director at the studio I used to intern at complain about how the “officials” in the place are pressuring them to create a show with Arab content in it. I mean I get their point pressuring anyone is never a good thing but I understand their need. I know we need something like that to show the younger generations. Right now we’re just importing Japanese animes and American cartoons instead of creating our own shows and that’s not right. They need to see characters that not only look like them but also act like them. Arab characters that are correctly represented.

I’m sick of hearing them say that they want to create something international and how that will resonate with more people or something of the like. Whenever they say that the first thing I think of is that they’re gonna make another typical American show, they’re gonna create something they know, something they’re familiar with, something they’re comfortable with. I don’t get why they think that our stories would be so unrelatable. I mean it’s not like Stan Lee was thinking of us when he first created Spirderman and the rest of Marvel universe characters. I don’t think the creators in Japan had us in mind when they were creating their own shows for their own people. But we related to them, we loved those characters, we felt for them. And so I don’t get why creating a relatable Arab show is so unthinkable\shameful\hard.. etc 

All human nature is the same. We may dress differently, we may do things differently, we may speak a different language, but in the end we’re all humans. You can’t say that deep down a little Arab girl and a little white girl are different. I think we’re varied more than anything, and we need shows with a bigger variety to reach more people.

Anyways, in the end I feel ashamed that no one’s done this before, that even I was not interested in targeting my own people because I had given up hope, because we’re “less”.

I deeply love that guy for opening my eyes into something I avoided for so long, something I’ve just been ignoring and pretending wasn’t even there.


And for a long time I remember saying prayers for something perfect
                   Saying prayers for someone kind It’s in my head
                                      We’re spinning circles down the avenues instead [x]

amanofletters  asked:

When you first got into comics, did you feel like you were better at, or more interested in, the drawing or the writing? I want to make my own comics, but I feel like my art straggles behind my writing. How can I cause these two aspects of comic-making to come together within myself, and make the works I want to make?

Oh hey, this is something I think a lot about, actually! So when I started making comics (15 years ago this month, haha), I was really terrible at drawing. And I wanted to do, y'know, GRAPHIC NOVELS, with fairly realistically drawn characters and backgrounds and things that are hard to draw. Things that I didn’t really have the skills to draw at the time. So I’d draw my comics and the art was generally pretty terrible. But I was comfortable with writing, and that helped me keep going with making comics, because I enjoyed the storytelling aspect of them so much. 

It’s hard when you feel pretty okay about your writing but your art doesn’t measure up. I kind of feel like my art still doesn’t measure up to what I want it to be (mostly right now I want it to be Hiromu Arakawa, which will never happen, no matter how much I practice), but I’m very comfortable with the writing part of comics, so I look at that as my great strength in my work. It makes up for where my art is lacking, and I work hard at writing to make the sum total of my work better than if I was just writing or just drawing.

I mean, the absolute best thing about comics (to me) is that you don’t need to be a spectacular artist to make really great, involving comics. I’m not an amazing technical artist. During my down times, I don’t draw gorgeous illustrations or do amazing paintings (I kind of dislike doing that kind of thing, to be honest). I will never be Gillian Tamaki. But I’m good at storytelling, and I’m good at interpreting emotion and drawing that on the comic page. So I work to my strengths, which is making stories about engaging characters, and laying out scenes where there is a lot of emotion running through them, and people who like my comics don’t seem to mind that my art is not as great as Gillian Tamaki or Hiromu Arakawa.

Comics aren’t just art or just writing, they’re the two combined to make something new and wonderful. They are more than the sum of their parts. So work hard to because a decent artist with a good grasp of storytelling basics (this is super important!), and work harder to become a truly excellent writer and storyteller, and you can quite possibly make great comics! It worked for me. :)

Studies (really bad teachers) vs Self taught

Some personal story.

 Need to address this topic from my point of view. I know it’s very popular topic among artists and I want to address it from my perspective. I’ve been to university also so I can talk from perspective of being a student and self taught artist.

Having a good teacher is a very important factor while going to university. What good teacher means to me? Not only is it a person with incredible skills and knowledge. I can argue these features does not make a regular person good teacher. He/she must know how to teach and actually CARE about You,( about his/her students). Good teacher is a person who want to pass the skills and knowledge to young students, not because he is a teacher but because it is a person who cares. I put such an emphasis on word ‘care’ because… you could probably guess by now… I didn’t have teachers who cared! So what is the point to going to uni when person who 'teaches’ (yea… only in theory) really don’t care if You will become better. You need just to be present in class and do some drawings (haha!)

To illustrate this I will tell You my story. When I just started studying. It was my first ever painting class. I had my tools but I didn’t know how to use them. How to use paint on canvas, how to put strokes, how to paint this still life? I had zero knowledge about painting, I tried only graphic pencils, charcoal and maybe markers a little. Technique for using paint is a different thing totally. I was confused. Students were left alone to paint. Oh my … But HOW? I was waiting some time for a teacher to actually arrive, but after some time I decided it’s better to have something on canvas that sitting and doing nothing for 3 hours. Beside there were other students who started and knew something about painting. I felt so alone…I’ve struggled. It was horrible. I’ve put little shapes in the middle of my canvas.  Only slightly similar to the still life in front of me. Then I needed to put some background. I’ve put color shapes around items in the middle. And It looked awful, What a horrible mess. I did everything wrong. And then teacher came. 'Okay…there is a hope for me’ - I thought - 'He will explain me the technique, I will be able to start again and do something better’. But how wrong was I. Teacher IGNORED me. Yea…he didn’t even say a word. He just passed me. Probably I wasn’t interesting enough for him to waste his time on me. I’m just a student who wants to learn and lacks the basic knowledge. Some may argue that I needed attention. But teacher…. he didn’t care about me at all. ZERO.

My art teacher :)

Hoping he will notice me was just my mistake I guess. It was just not the way the things were there. The rules were different. It was a moment when I felt totally hopeless, I felt so bad I wanted to cry.

I was ignored because my art teacher was more interested in students who actually could yet paint. He paid them some attention, made some comments and left. But still… he passed no knowledge or rules on how to paint. And the lesson ended and I was left with very bad emotions.
All painting lessons I could compare to my first lesson. I was better with each lesson, but because I started to learn from other students. It was my method to …survive. I survived because I was determined to. I saw what approach others students had and I copied the technique. This is how I was learning. I wasn’t better because of some guy who called himself 'teacher’. He wasn’t even present for  90% of time, he never done any demonstration of how he paint.

I don’t want to say every teacher is bad, and there is no point on going to university. I just want to show that what actually is important is who is teaching You. Because sometimes You would be better off learning by yourself. Always check opinions about the school and teachers. Good teachers are worth Yours time and money. I’ve never in my life met a person who I could call a good teacher unfortunately. So that is why I can say self learning was best way for me.

So stories 'university vs self taught’ can be very personal and how You view the topic depends on Yours experience. I know that thanks to my experience I don’t depend on anyone to motivate me or teach me. I know that if I don’t motivate myself and if I don’t seek the knowledge myself I won’t learn.

I can say the moral of this story is - Don’t count on other people. Always count on Yourself. I think for all those people out there who are motivated to self-develop it is pretty good phrase to push themselves more and achieve art goals :) And no one will take this away from You :)
And now go listen to epic 'Rocky’ theme ;) Because at the end of the day You always need some inspiration and motivation ;)

By the way. I can share my art when I was at university to show You how much someone can learn after leaving school , hahaha :D