oh and let's not forget

I don’t even know half these shows, but I do know about the drama being directed towards the writers in them.

so i was watching teen titans go! “yearbook madness” when suddenly these came up in starfire’s yearbook -

harley quinn of course signs starfire’s yearbook

the joker tries to fill up as much room as possible, naturally

EVEN ALFRED SIGNS HER YEARBOOK

BUT WAIT

IT GETS BETTER

IM ACTUALLY CRYING

DAMIAN NO UR TEN

JASON OH MY GOD YOU’RE ON A TEAM WITH HER

and lets not forget the people who wrote in raven’s yearbook -

I’M FUCKING DYING BRUCE UR NOT EVEN TRYING TO HAVE A SECRET IDENTITY ANYMORE

of course clark saves the day and the riddler apparently has a crush on raven??? apparently a lot of villains like her, including -

darkseid

AND FUCKING RA’S AL GHUL SIGNED WITH A FLOWER

I’M DONE OH MY GOD

***Edit***

because of popular demand i’ve decided to add the rest of them -

first, from starfire’s yearbook

the flash, always commenting on how he’s the fastest man alive

i assume the WW stands for Wonder Woman

aqua man with a smiley fish :)

oliver queen aka green arrow

and where there’s ollie there’s dinah

blue beetle omg

u cant really see it cause of the logo but it says “stay cool!” -captain cold

speaking of staying cool -

can u even write while in that cryosuit, freeze?

your questioning why she didnt beat u up, bane?

and of course the DOG signs starfire’s yearbook. or clark. probably clark.

and then all three green lanterns -

hal jordan

john stuart

and kyle rayner with a drawing of her

and now for the other signatures in raven’s yearbook -

that’s cute superboy, with all that brooding i never would have pegged u as someone who writes “c u later”

all the demons love raven

and the best one -

AQUALAD AND RAVEN DATED IT IS CANON AND SHE DUMPED HIM GOOD LORD

10

#because Lydia Martin cares about Stiles Stilinski just as much as he cares about her

Level Hundo Pidgey, aayyyyyeeeee ٩( ᐛ )و


ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ: Lance

(งツ)ว : Keith

okay but can we really quickly talk about all the other times they walked down that exact same street, just the two of them? like, walking back from school, shoulders brushing as Isak tries to explain something interesting he learned in advanced math that day, Even interrupting him as they round the corner to really quickly remind Isak they ran out of cereal this morning and have to go get some later, and Isak nodding, then picking up his story right where he left off, all casual because this is what they do now and these quiet moments are for made for them.

or like, strolling back from going to the cinema, the cold biting at their ears and the tips of their noses, Even excitedly clapping his hands just once as he recounts how great a certain part of the soundtrack worked with the colors used in that scene and like, Isak tries but he can’t help but smile up at him because his boy is so smart, and so cool, and he’s just so thankful he gets to hear so many gorgeous words every single day.

or, walking back from a party, and they’re not drunk, but they are happy. it’s dark, a full moon in the sky, and Isak feels comfortable reaching out to grab Even’s hand with just the stars looking down on them. and they’re not really talking, just kind of being, calm and chill and looking forward to curling up in a warm bed and each other later and it’s just good like that. it’s all so good like that.

  • television shows: i mean, who needs lighting?? let's just not use any lighting. forget the lighting. oh, but add a whole ton of contrast!! yeah, do that. can't forget about those blurry flashbacks!! oh, and let's make things really grainy!! love that, too. and why don't we put the credits over really awesome scenes?? yeah, that's great.

oh and lets not forget that yixing is probably the most upset about this. he literally loves exo so much and never fails to bring them up even when hes doing china schedules. he CRIED bc of how bad he felt about missing exo schedules. he no doubt would love to be a part of exo’s 5 year grand comeback….so anyway i hope lee soo man chokes really hard for putting us, exo and yixing through all this crap

relaxation

A/N thank you so much to @you-broke-our-spirit for writing this with me lmao i wouldnt be proud of this hc without you!!! also what are titles? and plot? who needs plot??

Warnings/tags: bottom!whiny!dan masseuse!phil, massage porn, lots of hickeys and praise, idk, no homo howell at first, shitty plot/set up, possibly shitty porn

Dan had a lot going on lately with the BBC. He was their lead host now every week day and spent most of his days stressing out and having panic attacks in the office bathrooms during lunch break. When Dan’s girlfriend, Lucy, saw how stressed out he was she decided that he needed to go get a massage.

Every time Dan came home from work he looked beaten down and tired. And every night, without fail Lucy always said in her matter of fact voice, “Baby, you’re so tense, come on, you need it.” Lucy even got her friends to nag Dan, and his mom! Every week he was getting calls from his mom telling him to listen to his girlfriend and “just go get the damn massage.” Dan was through with listening to their complaining after three months and finally gave in.

“Fine, fine, stop whining. I’ll go get a stupid massage,”

“Come on Dan, it’s not stupid it’s for your benefit,” she jokingly punched his shoulder and made him schedule an appointment online for some “hippy dippy massage place somewhere downtown.”

As the week progressed Dan sort of found himself dreading the massage. I mean a stranger rubbing his back with oil for two hours? Personally he didn’t see that as “heaven”, he saw that as torture. Not to mention the fact that where most of his stress is centered (his neck) is the same place as his g-spot, that has not had attention from anyone since his high school days.

~~~

A week of complaining and moping later and Dan was walking into the massage place. He contemplated just going to get some pizza to eat instead, and just tell Lucy that he got the massage but he remembered what she said and just tried to think of this as something he was finally doing for himself.

He needed this. Yes. He definitely needed this after all this bullshit with work.

When he walked in he was immediately hit with the scent of burning lavender incense. It was calming but overwhelming all at once. Maybe he should’ve just ditched.

After another useless internal battle he checked in. While he was waiting he bounced his leg up and down in the waiting room, just wanting to get this over with.

That’s when his masseuse walked out. Dan felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him. He was quite possibly the most gorgeous man Dan had ever laid his eyes on. He had striking blue eyes and jet black hair swept to the side while sporting a form fitting black shirt on that Dan could clearly see the outline of his stomach through, and Dan would seriously kill for abs like that.

Of course Dan was thinking of this man as a goal for his own appearance. He couldn’t be attracted to him. Not at all. Dan was straight. Dan had a girlfriend. All of these thoughts were no homo thoughts. Yeah. Yeah, no homo.

“Hello? Dan? I’m Phil, your masseuse today,” the man grinned and Dan swears that the room lit up. No homo though.
“Uh- yea- uh- Dan- yeah- um -touch my body now- i mean- like a massage- yeah- haha."Now Dan has always been a formal, calm man. He has absolutely no idea what this ‘Phil’ was doing to him.

Phil giggled- fucking giggled- at Dan’s nervousness and led him to the back, where all the massage rooms were.
"Now before I 'touch your body’ I need to know certain things Mr. Howell. What kind of pressure would you like? What are certain problem areas,” Phil went on with the list of things he needed to know but all Dan could focus on was those damn, pink lips moving up and down a mile a minute –curling around each word. He was mesmerized, and when Phil finished talking he licked his lips and handed Dan the form to fill out, Dan fumbled and dropped the pen since he was so focused on Phil’s lips. When he got the pen back he filled out the stupid paperwork about what he wanted out of the massage.

“I’m going to leave you to get undressed now. Of course you can leave your boxers on if you’d like but they usually get in the way of massaging your thighs so if you’re comfortable with it, please take them off,” Phil then silently strode out of the room and shut the door behind him.

Dan started to strip quickly, trying to ignore both his existential crisis and his semi hard on. He folds and lays his clothes down on the chair in the corner of the room and slips off his shoes. Then he walks over to the massage table and awkwardly crawls inside, trying not to give his dick any friction so his hard on doesn’t get worse. It’s nearly impossible though, and when he lays flat on his stomach he slowly grinds against the table until Phil knocks on the door.

When Phil walks in he’s carrying different essential oils and he places them all on a table near Dan’s head. “Okay Mr. Howell-”

“Please, call me Dan. No need for formalities here,” Dan said, having regained his composure somehow.

“Okay well Dan, I’m gonna start off with your back and then I’ll move to your legs and then later I’ll have you flip over onto your back and do your arms and shoulders,”

“Sounds great, I’ve really needed this for a while. It’s a two hour session right?”

“Correct, and don’t feel bad if you fall asleep on the table,” Phil laughed, “You wouldn’t be the first person to do it and you definitely won’t be the last.”

Their banter carried on for a view minutes, Phil asking Dan where he works, Dan asking Phil how long he’s been a masseuse, random things like that; that was until Phil touched Dan’s neck.

“Dan, you need to relax, you have a lot of knots up here in your neck and I need to work them out,” Phil complained.

Dan tried his hardest to relax but it was hard when a hot guy that had already managed to make him question his sexuality was touching his number one g-spot. Phil pushed down on the major knots and worked them out one by one. When he switched over to the other side of Dan’s neck and started working on a knot at the base, Dan let out a loud embarrassing moan and immediately relaxed.

"There you go, good boy Dan, “He praised. Dan swears he heard Phil wrong. Yeah. He had to have said good job. Right? Oh well. Forget it.

Dan let himself relax after that point. Letting Phil have his way with all of the knots in his neck and moaning obscenely at each touch. Phil kept praising Dan for some reason, which was only turning Dan on more.

With each praise that slipped out of Phil’s mouth Dan moaned louder and subtly ground his hips into the table beneath him. He got all whiny and shallow breathed when Phil had finished working out all the knots in his neck.

"Since you seem to enjoy this so much, I’m going to focus more on your neck, even with all your knots being gone now,” Dan moans as a response and sinks into the table –shamelessly grinding into it now. Not even caring if Phil saw. Of course Phil noticed though, a fact unknown to Dan himself, but if anyone else were in the room they would’ve seen the way Phil froze and bit his lip.

Phil’s hands become hesitant for a second, and then Dan feels warm lips kissing the back of his neck.

“Oh my gosh, Dan I’m so sorry! That was so unprofessional of me!” Phil goes to apologize more but Dan just stares up at him with the most wrecked look in the world and lets out a small plea of “more.”
Within seconds Dan’s being flipped onto his back and Phil is diving for his neck, pressing kisses all around it. Phil pulls off Dan’s neck and kisses him roughly, slipping his tongue in without warning. Dan moans in response, kissing back feverishly and grabbing the back of his neck. Phil does wonders with his tongue, swirling and rolling it all around Dan’s mouth, knowing exactly what to do and how to make him squirm. Dan becomes pliant and tries to grind up into the dominant boy on top of him who just keeps pushing his hips down and making out with him. When they pull away Dan’s panting and his eyes are wide and dark.

“Phil, please, I need more. Bite me. Suck on my neck. Mark me. Please~” Now who would deny a request like that? Certainly not Phil. He goes back to Dan’s neck with a renewed energy and immediately begins to suck on a sweet spot at the base of Dan’s neck. He lets out a loud moan and Phil groans in response to the loud boy. Thank god these rooms are soundproof.

As Phil left a mark the size of a golf ball on Dan’s neck, Dan writhed against him, trying to push his hips up but Phil held them down. Holding him off from any type of release momentarily. He begins to suck another mark above the previous one. Dan should’ve been paying attention and told him to stop before he had to wear a turtle neck to work tomorrow, but he couldn’t think straight. Dan moaned and struggled for friction beneath Phil but he wasn’t given anything. Every time he groaned in annoyance Phil chuckled and just went back to sucking on his neck. He bit and nibbled and sucked as if his life depended on it.

“Phil- Fuck, you have to gi-ve me more, please I’ll d-do anything please jus-just let me grin-d-d against your th-thigh,” Dan whined as Phil smirked and just kept marking up his neck.

“Oh but princess, earlier you were begging for me to mark you up, so I’m going to take me time doing that.”

“But- Philll~”

“Daniel, if you want to be fucked I suggest you stop whining. I only fuck good boys”

“Fi-Fine”

Before Phil could carry on, he rid himself of all of his clothes and climbed back on the table.

Phil continued on gingerly with his marks. He watched Dan writhe for a while before deciding that 5 hickeys on his neck was enough for now and that he needs to move onto somewhere else. He slowly moved down to his chest. Reaching up to rub on Dan’s nipples with both hands he attached his mouth right on Dan’s collarbones. He left a few bright red love bites all over them before moving down to leave more dark hickeys. Circling Dan’s nipples with both hands and sucking hickeys in random places was a lot for Dan’s needy little body to handle and he begged Phil to get on with it.

Finally giving into the writhing boy below him, Phil ground down his giant cock onto Dan. Dan let out a shout and his eyes rolled into the back of his head from finally being satisfied. “What do you want baby? Hmm?”

“Want you t’ fuck me, please Phil! Please!”
Dan desperately rolled his hips up, just wanting more and more.

“I don’t know. You haven’t been to good Dan,”

“No! Please I have! Phil you have to fuck me! Please!”

Phil chuckled lowly and brought his mouth down to Dan’s chest again. He kissed down Dan’s slightly chubby stomach quickly and pulled the blanket off of his lower half. Dan’s aching cock was now on display, he was leaking and flushed. Phil had a rush of sympathy because he made the boy wait so long for any type of satisfaction. But no, now wasn’t the time for sympathy. He kissed the tip of Dan’s dick and licked at his slit until he heard Dan once again pleading for more.

“God princess you’re so needy, so loud,”

Phil mumbled against Dan, making Dan groan from the vibrations on his cock.
Phil started kissing down Dan’s cock, to the base and once he got there he slowly tugged at Dan as he whined and thrusted up into his hand. Phil licked and marked Dan’s balls while he thumbed through his slit and occasionally ran an agonizingly slow hand down his length.

"Phil I’m gonna cu-”

“No you aren’t. And if you do you’ll definitely regret it. I can promise that.” Dan shuttered at Phil’s words and grabbed a fistful of the blanket beneath him. Trying to edge himself had always been an issue with Dan. He always got excited too quickly and went too fast with himself to a point where he always came easily.

“Just get on with it- please Phil I’m begging you-”

“Shh baby, give me a second.” Phil stood and got the essential oil that still sat on the table near Dan’s head. That’d be efficient lube right? Oh well. Close enough. “Turn over baby, I’ve gotta prep you.”

Dan obeyed and flipped onto his stomach once again, except this time he stuck his ass in the air. His head rested on his forearms and his knees were bent and sitting on the table, giving him the perfect back arch. Phil’s first thought was that he’s never seen an arch like this outside of porn, and his second thought was “damn I’m lucky.”

As Phil gently rubbed circles on Dan’s hip, he thrusted one finger in. He felt how tight Dan was and needed to know something, “Oh princess are you a virgin?”

“I- I mean- No- I-”

“Daniel have you ever been with a boy before? What about stretching yourself?”

“Once in college I had a one night stand with some guy, but other than that no. I’ve always thought I was straight until-"Dan cut off feeling embarrassed,” Until I saw you,“

Phil chuckled deeply and just went back to thrusting his finger in and out of Dan’s hole. Dan groaned and tried to rub his hard on against the table, bit Phil was holding his hips up. Once again denying him any temporary pleasure.

As Phil stretched Dan he left kisses and nips everywhere. He kissed his inner thighs, his lower back, his hips, his ass. Almost every inch of Dan had been grazed by Phil’s lips by the time he was done. Dan had been whining the whole time, begging for the process to be hurried up, pushing his ass back against Phil’s fingers. But Phil was just taking his sweet time, praising Dan every now and then.

When Phil declared Dan prepped, he started to push in. Letting out little praises with each inch sinking into Dan. "Good job baby, taking me so well, so tight and perfect for me.” Dan bit down on his knuckles to conceal his moans.

Once Phil bottomed out Dan let out a whorish moan and begged him to move. His wish was granted and Phil began to slowly thrust in and out of Dan.

“Please Phil! More! Give me more!”

“God Dan, so needy,”

Dan looked over his shoulder in the sexiest way possible with the awkward position and pleaded, “Phil, I need you to fuck me. Make me feel this for weeks. Make it so I never forget your name. Fuck me until I can’t walk please~” He blinked up innocently and saw Phil throw his head back and thrust hard into him once. Thank god.

Phil started to fuck into him hard enough that Dan’s legs gave out beneath him. When he found Dan’s prostate Dan screamed beneath him and let out little pleas, although he was already getting everything he wanted. Phil gripped Dan’s hips hard enough to leave marks as he heard these pleas. Dan moaned and bit the table beneath him, completely blissed out.

“Beg me for your release Dan”

“God- Please- fuckfuckfuck Phil I need it, let me cum- please!” he panted out between thrust.

Phil released his grip on Dan’s right side, and reached forward to pump Dan’s cock.

“Hmm, I don’t believe you want it that bad. I think you could beg a lot better than that baby boy.”

Dan fucked himself back on Phil’s dick and shamelessly called out pleas, as his dignity was long gone at this point.

“There we go, that’s more like it, good boy, cum for me.”

Dan listened and came with a shout right after the comment had been made. He felt a shock of pleasure run through his body and shuttered, relaxing down onto the table again and letting Phil finish inside him.

When Phil saw the completely blissed out boy beneath him he moaned loudly and came inside Dan. After a moment of euphoria he pulled out and sat Dan up so he could clean up the cum off of him.

“Well baby, if you’d like to do that again, I could give you my number?” Phil winked and handed him a card. A business card.

Dan blushed - he left with his body completely relaxed and mind whirring. How was he going to tell Lucy?

A/N: im also accepting prompts all the time so like if u want u can request anything u want

Soulmate Joshua

Part of the Seventeen Soulmate Series

Your soulmate must have been an incredibly careful person. Incredibly careful. Because you were pretty sure you had barely ever received anything from them. You had grown up watching your friends gasp happily whenever they discovered some new item showing up in their backpack, or when they reached a hand into their pocket, or even materializing under their seat or at their side.

Sometimes, it made you a little sad, to have less of a connection to whoever your soulmate was, but at the same time, it was endearing to see how careful they were.

And besides, you knew they were out there. One time, right before a really important assignment where you had to give a speech, you lost the flash drive with months of hard work stored on it in the form of your notes and your power-point presentation. Right in the midst of your panic and stress, suddenly, out of no where, the flash drive popped back onto the table in front of you.

Your soulmate had lost it on purpose. So that you could have it back. The thrill of the encounter made you so confident that the speech went better than you ever could have expected. You could already feel yourself loving your incredibly careful, incredibly thoughtful, soulmate.

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