oh and i didn't make this so this is my disclaimer

My boyfriend told me over text that he didn't know the Minotaur story
  • Boyfriend: I... I don't even know the story that well babe, I can't even say xD
  • Me: Okay so
  • Me: Poseidon gives a bull to King Minos, the best and shiniest bull you ever saw, and he's like "You can have this, but only if you promise to sacrifice it to me later" and Minos is like "Sure yeah okay man whatever" so Poseidon sends this bestest bull ever galloping up out of the salty sea spray, and everyone standing around is like "Hot fuck look at that bull" And Minos agrees, and he likes the bull SO much he decides to just quietly sort of...keep it. And he does kill a bull for Poseidon but it's one of his own, lame normal bulls, and Poseidon's no pushover so of course he notices.
  • Me: Poseidon is also notoriously easily angered, and he's royal pissed about this, so he comes up with one of the most devious punishments ever, and he infects Minos' wife Pasiphae with a desperate, DESPERATE thirst for the bull. Like she can think of nothing but getting some of that hot Bull D.
  • Boyfriend: ..........Thefuck.
  • Me: But it's hard to convince a bull, especially a divinely spawned bull, to fuck you if you are in fact not a cow but a human queen, so she comes up with a plan
  • Boyfriend: I thought some god comes down in bull form and fucks her??
  • Me: Ohh, no no no, that's the much much more tame story of Europa, who has sex with Zeus in bull form. This is different
  • Me: She goes to the best inventor she knows, Daedalus, and she's like "I need this bull to fuck me I NEED IT" and Daedalus is like "That's really weird maybe you should talk to someone" and she's like "I am talking to you and I am your queen so you better fucking make this happen for me I am going to peel my own skin off if I don't get some bull dick ASAP. But he doesn't want me because I am not fat, four-legged, and mooing."
  • Boyfriend: Oh..... oh no.
  • Me: So Daedalus shrugs, probably shudders a little, and builds the prettiest, most fuckable wooden cow a bull ever saw, but he makes it hollow, presumably with some openings in some awkward places.
  • Boyfriend: OH GOD. NO.
  • Me: So Pasiphae puts this monstrosity in the field with the bull, climbs in it, and waits. And Daedalus really is a skilled inventor, and he apparently knows what a bull likes, because Pasiphae finally gets the hot bull loving she's been dreaming of
  • Boyfriend: I........ I need an aspirin. That is disgusting.
  • Me: Only she apparently hasn't been tracking her cycles, because she gets pregnant, and births the minotaur and King Minos is like "What the fuck?" and Pasiphae is like "Honey I need to tell you something"
  • Me: And that is how it happened
  • Boyfriend: That is NOT HOW THAT WORKS
  • Me: Welcome to Mythology.

anonymous asked:

How would NCT members react when their respective crush likes them back?

I’d just like to link my disclaimer about NCT so you know what the deal is in case you were expecting more members! <3

Taeil

Oh this little bun would be ecstatic. He would just blush and think ‘oh my, does she really?’ and then be so joyful the rest of the day.

Originally posted by tensyoung

Taeyong

Would be in awe, and very quiet, trying to keep his cool. On the inside, his heart would be racing at the speed of a hummingbird’s and he would almost become even more nervous around you.

Originally posted by nakamot0

Doyoung

I’m pretty sure he would just smile, a lot. He would definitely look at you a lot more after, but look down or hide his face when you meet his stare.

Originally posted by dongyoungs

Ten

I think he’d go as far as jumping up and down. Something tells me he would start doing aegyo around you, as he now knows that you think he’s cute. Would go in for random hugs.

Originally posted by 19ten

Jaehyun

He would be very, veeery happy. It would really boost his confidence around you and it would end up with him asking you out on a date and of course you would accept.

Originally posted by jaehyun-nctu

Mark

I actually think he might become more shy around you. He would be really excited that you liked him too, but he would start stuttering while talking to you, making you giggle at him.

Originally posted by meekokohaku