oh also hi i am alive

kiss you all over (George Weasley x Reader) SMUT ***

Warnings: smut (underage, unprotected sex), swearing. 

Request: Hi can you write a George x reader where she’s stayin at the burrow and they sneak around to get naughty ;))

A/N: Yes, I am alive. No, I don’t want to be. This is my first actual George x Reader fic. The smut isn’t very good, sorry, I kind of got lazy because I’m super tired. Also, I just realised I wrote this a little differently to the request? oh well. Excuse the shitty title I had no idea what to call this other than George Weasley is a sexy beast so….?

You learn that dreams really can come true when you and George decide to get freaky and release all the pent up sexual frustration between the two of you. 


The Burrow is strangely quiet as it sleeps, yet you are wide awake. Perhaps it’s because the Quidditch World Cup is on tomorrow, perhaps it’s because of the wild, sex dream you just had featuring one George Weasley. Maybe it’s both. But whatever it is, it’s keeping you awake while Hermione and Ginny are fast asleep on either side of you.

Staring up at the ceiling, you try to steady your racing heart as you emerge from the orgasm your brain had just conjured. You feel hot and sticky, especially in one certain area, and you don’t think there’s enough water in the world to cool you down. The dream had felt so real. When you had raked your fingers through George’s hair, when his lips had spilled over your collarbone, when he had pushed inside of you with a wild moan of your name, it had felt as though it was really happening. Your subconscious was teasing you cruelly.

Hermione murmurs something in her sleep and rolls over, facing the wall. Ginny is lying flat on her stomach, dreaming peacefully. As you watch your friends sleep, you can’t help but wonder what George is dreaming of. You hope, somewhat vainly, that it’s you. But who can blame you? When you’ve had a crush on your best friend for as long as you have, you’re surely going to hope with every cell in your body that he’s thinking of you the way you think of him.

Feeling irritated and disappointed, you decide it’s better to get up rather than lie around, moping and thinking about George.

You slip out from the sheets and creep out of the room, trying to keep as quiet as possible. Every step you make sounds like someone’s dropping bombs in your ears but the rest of the house remains undisturbed. You walk past Harry and Ron’s room, Ron is sleep talking about spiders and if you had been less distracted, you would have stopped to listen. Maybe you’ll tease him about it in the morning and watch him go bright red.

Tip-toeing down the stairs, you cast a look over your shoulder, hoping you hadn’t woken up the house. Everything is still, and you nod with a satisfied expression filling your features. Until you crash into something hard.

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Gag Reel (Chris Pine x Reader)

Imagine: You are a famous actor and in a relationship with your co-star Chris.

Pairing: Chris Pine x Reader

Warnings: none, just fluffff (because Chris ia a adorable human beeing and i love him more than i love life itself)

A/N: I truly belive that there should be more imagines about this beautifull and amazing actor, with wicked blue eyes. But thats a problem i am going to solve, starting with this imagine.

Originally posted by pinerage


“So,Chris..”,James says, as soon as the screams of the audience disappeared,and the host of the Late Late Show gives him a welcoming smile:“Star Trek Beyond was released yesterday, and I have to say it’s a pretty awesome movie!”

Chris, who sat infront of him also smiles:“You’re right, I am very lucky to have the- the opportunity to work together with so many amazing actors and people on a movie like this.”

On the small screen infront of them appears a picture of Chris and you, his fiancée:“Your future wife is also in the movie, how is the “engagement life”? Because I can remember for me and my wife it was very stressful.“

The blue eyed man just laughs:"Oh man, it’s great . Sometimes stressful, of course. But at the end I am going to marry her, I mean that’s pretty awesome-”

The crowd “awws” and the face of Chris goes slightly red.

“So, you and Y/N met 2009, am I right?”,James asks, of course he knows that hes right but the story of how you two met is both beautiful and hilarious.

“That’s right!”,Chris answers and nods:“We were filming the first Star Trek movie, and she was sitting at the same table as Zachary and Karl, because she already met Zachary on the set of American Horror Story, and when we first made eye contact I was so confused about the whole situation that I tripped and fell onto her.”,the whole crowd and James are now laughing:“And instead of saying sorry, or something like that I just stood up and walked into my trailer.”

James smiles:“And then?”

“She knocked at the door of my trailer, and when I let her in she just smiled and introduced herself to me.”,Chris sigh’s:“She was so nice, even though I am the reason why her clothes were ruined.”

“I don’t think that she thought it was too bad!”,James says and looks directly into the camera:“Now here’s a small clip of Star Trek Beyond.”


“Where is Kay?”,James Kirk, who is looking at Scotty with a scared impression takes a step up to his friend:“Tell me she’s with you.”

“Jim!”,the voice of your Character,Kay, is loud but yet you can’t see her.
But as soon as Jim is turning around, you are jumping right into his arms:“Oh god, you’re alive.”

“Of course I am, Kay!”,Kirk says and smirks, before he gives you a deep kiss:“ I am not planning on leaving you.”

“I hope so..”



“Romantic!”,James says, and Chris smiles:“Is this star trek or a new version of Titanic?”

“No no -”,Chris laughs:“ Not the whole movie is like this, there is a lot of action, and also drama -”


“So I met Y/N a couple of weeks ago, when she was on my show let’s see what she has to say-”,James says and points to the screen.



“My favorite Bloopers with Chris?”,you giggle and raise your eyebrows:“There are a few, because you know, everyone on set is often playing with lines and that leads to the outtakes. I truly enjoy seeing how the fans react to all these clips-”

“Oh your fans love them!”,James says and the audience starts to scream a little bit.

“Yeah, yeah.”,you say and your Y/H/C falls into your face, before you run a hand through your hair:“And you know, Chris is always so clever with it, sometime he’s so sneaky that you won’t realize that the line changed, till he starts laughing! So one day, we were all filming and after I said something like "you know we have to make this quick!” he says out of nowhere “This is something you’re not saying in a few hours!”-“

The whole audience starts to laugh and a few woman start to scream hysterical, James on the other hand is just laughing:"Oh my god that’s amazing!”

“I just realized what he said after one minute..the rest of the cast didn’t realized as well, and when I looked into Karls eyes I immediately understood that that’s not his normal line-”

“You really thought that this was his normal line-?”,James asks and laughs again, now tears are forming in his eyes and he wipes a few away, still laughing.

“He just said it with such a professionalism- that I didn’t really paid attention to the actual line..just to my own one and my own expression!”,you answer and the crowd starts laughing.



“So when you two get married!”,James says as soon as the videoclip ends:“Youre only saying stuff like that?”

“You bet!”

Powder Keg - Ch 2

Happy Monday, everlarkers! Last week introduced us to ski!instructors Katniss and Peeta, and all of the gang at Mt. Mockingjay Lodge. When we last looked in, our cinnamon bun was offering Katniss some of the cash he earned when he stole away her private lesson. You voted to have her refuse the offer (understandably so, I think!) So what’s in store for our gang this week? Let’s see, shall we? This week’s installment of Powder Keg was written by @xerxia31.

As always, you have 48 hours to vote, until noon, Wednesday, November the 15th. Remember, vote in the comments or reblogs, not in the tags! And as always, share with your friends, more voices = more fun! Ready? Here we go…



The wad of cash in Peeta’s hand is so tempting. I have no doubt that Glimmer is a good tipper, probably even more so with Peeta than she would have been with me. And I really need that money.

As if he can sense my indecision, a hint of a smile lifts the corners of his lips, lights his eyes. For the briefest of moments, it’s as if I’m looking back through time, to that golden-haired boy with the bluest eyes I’d ever seen. The one who stole my heart.

The one who tore it to shreds.

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2

I’M STILL SPECHLESS.

After SO MANY YEARS supporting them I’ve finally met my heroes.

When I enter to the meet & greet Jack opened his arms and received me with the biggest smile on his face, I hugged him as tight as I could, then I hugged Rian and when he saw the letter that I had for them he said “Oh, I’ll take it!” (you can actually see the letter on his hand on the pic ^^ ). Then I hugged my angel, Alex, he was super sweet and did a super cute noise with his voice while we were hugging each other, something like “awww” :’). Finally I hugged Zack, and let me tell you, his hugs are a w e s o m e haha

Then I showed them my tattoos. First I saw them my Future Hearts logo which I have under my right ear, and Alex said “Oh wow! I love it, it’s so cool!”. Then I show them my “Therapy” tattoo, which I have on my left arm, the lyrics “Love yourself so no one has to” and Alex looked me and said “Thank you so much for your dedication” and he grabbed my arm in a cute way… I almost cried in that moment. He was saying thanks to me when they are the ones who saved my life and who also keep me alive. Then Rian saw my Martin Garrix tattoo on my arm and he was like “Oh, I like it”, I told him “It’s bc of Martin Garrix” he lowered his head so  I could speak in his ear, since I am pretty short compared to them haha  and he was like “Oh, Martin Garrix!”

Then we took two photos (One taken my Thomas Falcone and another one that Danny took with my phone). They signed my concert ticket and Zack gave it back to me. I told them that I loved them and they told me the same.Then, as I was leaving Alex screamed something about my hair but I really couldn’t hear it properly bc he went crazy haha

P.S: THEY ARE SO. DAMN. TALL.

They were the sweetest people ever. I feel so lucky and thankful for having them in my life. They are my lifesavers

Did Beatrice survive the Baudelaire fire?

Did anybody actually survive the fire which destroyed the Baudelaires’ home? In “The Hostile Hospital” and “The Carnivorous Carnival”, this possibility becomes the driving force of the plot, as both volunteers and villains aim to enquire about the Baudelaire parents’ whereabouts. Then, in “The Slippery Slope”, this question is abruptly answered and never brought up again:

[Klaus] reached through his layers of clothing until he found his pocket, and pulled out page thirteen from the Snicket file, which he had been carrying with him since the Baudelaires had found it at Heimlich Hospital. The page had a photograph of their parents, standing with Jacques Snicket and another man the Baudelaires had been unable to identify, and above the photograph was a sentence Klaus had memorized from reading it so many times. ’“Because of the evidence discussed on page nine,’” he recited tearfully, “‘experts now suspect that there may in fact be one survivor of the fire, but the survivor’s whereabouts are unknown.’” […]
“I think the survivor is here,” the scout said quietly, and removed his mask to reveal his face at last. “I’m Quigley Quagmire,” he said.
[The Slippery Slope, Chapter Eight]

…for Heaven’s sake, Quigley. Not every single conversation revolves around YOU.

The reader is supposedly expected to believe the Baudelaire orphans just saw what they wanted to believe in the thirteenth page of the Snicket File, and that the sentence had actually refered to Quigley Quagmire all along. This is framed as an act of maturity: the Baudelaire must abandon the delusions and wish-fulfillment of childhood and accept the reality of death.

But could this not, conversely, be interpreted as an act of despair? Did the Baudelaires drop the case too early? We’ll reopen the investigation after the cut.

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GOT Characters in season 7

Cercei: I am a cold boss ass bitch who is slightly insane. This is the best.

Euron: That’s hot.

Jaime: *is dead inside*

Arya: time for sister antagonizing 2.0 this time I’m a slightly unhinged assasin so it’s Hardcore

Bran: Yes. I am human person. Prove it? Well I can trigger you with knowledge I shouldn’t have. Such human.

Sansa: Jon don’t do it… omg. Well I guess I’ll have to struggle to keep everyone in order and fed. While also dealing with my crazy younger siblings and my crazy benefactor/stalker.

Jon: DID YOU SAY SANSA YOU MOTHERFUCKER I’LL KILL YOU!

Davos: This is my son Jon Snow. I’ve unconsciously realized that he’s got a thing for his sister but am in denial so I’m pretending he thinks you hung the moon oh dragon queen.

D*ny: What do you MEAN I can’t just slaughter innocents to get what I want? Ok fine but if your plan doesn’t work then we go back to my plan… hey look your plan didn’t work. I don’t honestly think you’re a traitor Tyrion but I want you to think I do to scare you. I’m also going to test your allegiance by making you watch while I burn your family’s soldiers. Hey Tyrion!! Watch me while I burn my prisoners alive! Ooh Jon’s not scared of my dragon? I must HAVE HIM. And no, Tyrion it’s totally not hypocritical that I burn the Tarly’s alive after asking them to bend the knee once five seconds before but I let jon live with me for weeks and he turns down bending the knee multiple times. I mean he’s pretty so…

Tyrion: It should not be this hard to stop a reasonable person from burning people alive for no reason.

Varys: Amen.

Jorah: Can I come into the out now?

Grand Maester Dude: No

Sam: Actually, yes. And fuck you Grand Maester Dude.

Gilly: lol so Jon is the rightful heir to the iron throne

Gendry: I am PLOT RELEVENT AGAIN MOTHERFUCKERS

The Night King: I came here to attack and honestly I’m having such a good time right now.

kohakus-double-suicide  asked:

SENSEIIIIII /UR FOR LOVE AND REVOLUTION FIC LOVER IS HERE/ OH MY GOSH SENSEI I NEED HELP, WHERE IS CHUUYA, I CANT FIND HIM I MEAN IK HE IS IN THE BOOK BUT I MEAN WHERE IS HE RIDING A MOTORCYCLE ON THE WALL CANONICALLY! WHERE IS IT, WHERE IS IT, PLUS OH GOSH THE NEW MOVIE POSTER CAME OUT BTW, THEY R RELEASING THE DEAD APPLE ON THE 3 OF MARCH IN 2K18, I AM DYING, FYODOR WAS THERE OH GOSH WHAT IS THIS?! CHUUYA IS ALSO USING HIS CORRUPTION, PLEASE HLPPPPPPP

HELLO BABY !!!! THIS IS A BLESSED DAY HERE ALL THE CHUUYA CONTENT YOU NEED:

CORRUPTION!CHUUYA I’M ALIVE

ALSO THE TRAILER CAME OUT AND IT’S THE BEST THING EVER I MEAN

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE TRAILER:

#1 BIKER!CHUUYA

#2 MAFIA!SOUKOKU 

#3 CHUUYA CHOKING ANGO (god I wish that were me)

THIS MOVIE IS ALREADY THE BEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN I’M NOT GONNA SURVIVE I’M GONNA SCREAM TILL MARCH 2018

Killing Stalking chapter 27 summary

-sangwoo: “get up you lousy cunt”
-bum: *doesn’t move*
-sangwoo: “I sAiD gEt Up!1!! !1”
-also sangwoo, after staring at bum’s lifeless body for god knows how long: FUCK I CAN’T DO THIS
-ooo face paint with blood woohoo !!
-sangwoo i don’t think sorry’s gonna cut it
-yeah no SHIT something’s not right
-we finally see the second floor after 27 fucking chapters
-sangwoo is stroking bum’s hair I repeat sAnGwOo Is StRoKiNg BuM’s HaIr
-koogi just LOVES giving us all the sangbum feels doesn’t she
-poor sangwoo having nightmares about his mother why the fuck am I feeling sorry for this psychotic bastard
-sangwoo what do you think this is? attack on titan?
-HE’S ALIVE MY BOY IS ALIVE
-bum being literally the entire fandom in this moment
-sangwoo: “oh hey you’re alive. want some cake? it’s melted”
-koogi whY ARE YOU MAKING ME ACTUALLY LOVE SANGWOO THIS CHAPTER
-sangwoo: *seductively inches closer to bum* “lets fuck lol”
-bum: “bby this is not the right time”
-sangwoo: “yOu’Re ReJeCtInG mE !1!!”
-also sangwoo: “sangWHO treated this wound??!! sangWOO!”
-sangwoo you sick bastard jfc

Killer Chat (Waylon Jones x Reader)

Originally posted by orchid-bud

“Hold that, please!” you rushed into the elevator, almost crushing on KC.

“Hey.” You greeted with a half smile and he growled in response. You both headed to the tenth floor where Rick was waiting for you so you could be examined by the medics and return to Belle Reve.

You were awkwardly tapping your finger on your hand as you waited for the elevator to arrive at your floor.

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Girls Night-Epilogue

*edit by @strictlyncisconfessions​*

Part 1  Part 2  Part 3  Part 4  Part 5 Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9 Part 10  Part 11  Part 12

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: fluff

Word Count: 1190

A/N: Alright folks, this is it! Thank you to everyone who has enjoyed and shared my first full series! Thanks for all the love and I hope you’ll stick around for the other works I have planned and/or in progress xoxo

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I love that Quill kind of grudgingly became the adult member of the team. I love the idea of salty emo Quill occasionally being forced to play the rational adult for these heathen kids. Like I imagine him having all this real world experience and knowledge that Lockwood and Co really benefits from.

Fire on the stove? Quill walks over and smothers it with a pot lid. Trouble balancing the checkbook? Give Quill the pencil, he’s got this. In the stressful situations it’s Quill who reminds them to walk away for a minute and reevaluate. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the one carrying around the little sewing kit in case someone lost a button. Oh, and he’s got cooking down too, not the gourmet stuff, but the simple, keep yourself alive on a budget kind that doesn’t involve existing on mac and cheese and ramen noodles. He is literally the king of life hacks. Also I am willing to bet he bedazzled his own rapier.

They give him a hard time, but even George has to admit that Quill’s got the advantage in the life skills department. Just don’t ask him for relationship advice.

anonymous asked:

for drunk prompts: yuuri has a secret talent for flirting his way out of traffic tickets.. also happy bday again!!

not quiiiiiiiiiite what you asked for but i love some oblivious heartbreaker katsuki yuuri. thank you!!!

“just lie back and think of england” 


Yuuri loves Victor. Yuuri is also sure that Victor can be a terrible person when he really puts his mind to it.

(And Victor Nikiforov does not do things halfway.)

There are at least three waiters following Yuuri around the Barcelona Grand Prix Final banquet, sliding trays of champagne flutes under his nose at every turn. Victor’s cat-post-canary grin assures Yuuri exactly who’s responsible.

(When had he even found time between the pairs skate and the banquet? It might be a bigger mystery than how the hell Victor’s going to pull two routines out of his (“extremely well formed, Yuuri!) ass before Russian Nationals. )

“Yuuuuuri, the champagne is even better this year,” Victor’s arms are wrapped around Yuuri’s waist, his head hooked over Yuuri’s shoulder.

“I wouldn’t know. I don’t remember last year.”

“So cruel.”

“Yes, honesty is a terrible thing to force on a fiancee.”

“I’m glad we agree.”

“What—?”

Yakov appears out of nowhere, claps Yuuri on the shoulder. Yuuri spills his champagne. Victor lets out a noise somewhere between a yelp and a moan.

(He might have just made Victor cry again.)

“You’re moving to Saint Petersburg.” It’s not a question.

“Yes—“

“Do not let Victor drive you anywhere.”

“What—“

(No one wants Yuuri to finish his sentences tonight. Only his champagne.)

“Yakov! I am an incredible driver. Rude.” Victor’s pouting.

“Incredibly awful. You conveniently left out the second half of that statement.” Where did Yurio come from?

“I’m suing for slander,” Victor presses the second button on his speed dial.

“You won’t have a case once they take a look at your insurance premiums,” Yakov says.

Phichit sidles up alongside Yuuri, entirely too amused. Terror instantly floods Yuuri’s body.

(This is the same look Phichit had when he convinced Yuuri to try LSD in Detroit. Yuuri’s never looked at mops the same again.)

“I wouldn’t worry about it.”

Everyone in the circle turns to look at him. Everyone except Yuuri who’s buried his face in his hands.

“Please don’t.”

Phichit ignores him.

“One of us never paid for a coffee in college. Guess who.” This is also not a question.

Victor raises his hand like he’s in class. Katsuki Yuuri is the only class Victor’s ever tried to ace.

(Yuuri refuses to say this out loud because Victor will make a terrible pun about the “ace of Japan”.)

“One of us,” Phichit points at himself and then at Yuuri, “also never had to pay a library fine. Or cover at a frat party. Or locker rental fees at the DSC.”

Victor is riveted.

(Strangely so is Yurio?)

“Yuuri’s also never paid a parking ticket.”

“I am the luckiest man alive.”

“Oh god my ears,” Victor’s head is still resting on Yuuri’s shoulder and no one’s ever convinced Victor to use his inside voice.

Detroit, three years earlier

“IS THAT A SIREN?”

It is.

Phichit pulls the car over to the side of the road and hisses, “Yuuri, switch with me.” Phichit has half a learner’s permit. Which means he’s taken three questions in the online DMV course.

(“Yuuri, I know enough about America to know I should never step foot in a DMV.”)

They switch. Phichit kicks Yuuri in the face. Yuuri elbows Phichit right in the balls.

“I’m so glad I’m already sitting down,” Phichit wheezes, “now push your hair back.”

“I don’t—“

Phichit grabs a tube of lube from the glove compartment and slicks Yuuri’s hair back.

“Oh my god.”

(Yuuri is taking six showers when they get back to the apartment.)

(He does not want to know why Phichit keeps that in his ( “our!”) car. They’ve already heard enough of each other’s noises through the entirely too thin walls of their apartment to last twelve lifetimes.)

“Phichit what the hell?”

“Just lie back and think of England, Yuuri.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Just—pretend you’re on the ice. And when we get home I’m prioritizing your cultural education.” He plucks Yuuri’s glasses off his face.

“License and registration,” the officer stands at the side of the car. Yuuri turns around. The officer drops his notepad.

They escape with a warning. The officer—“please call me Liam”—escorts them back to their apartment. Please-call-me-Liam stays at their kitchen table for two hours, slides no less than eleven business cards across the table to Yuuri, and brushes his foot against Yuuri’s ankle five times before Yuuri apologizes again, scoots his chair back from the table,  and retreats to his room. Please-call-me-Liam stays another hour, shooting forlorn looks at Yuuri’s door.

Phichit can practically hear the commentator’s discussing Victor’s latest free skate through the closed door. Yuuri is so predictable.

Please-call-me-Liam leaves with an overzealous petition that Yuuri “call him any time. Day or night. Especially late at night.”

present

“I hate all of you.”

HVFF London: here’s my (way too long, if I were you, I’d keep on scrolling) report! :D

Oh, boy… What. A. Weekend!!! Seriously there are no strong enough words to describe how utterly awesome this whole experience was. But enough gushing, there will be plenty more as I go on. Let’s start this report! :D (I have highlighted the different parts so you can just skip to what you wanna read about)

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teazzle  asked:

Could i request a.. bones of a relationship stormpilot ficlet? I want to see how you see them fitting together. (it literally doesn't even have to be a fic. Just how do you think a finnpoe relationship would work???)

  • finn wakes up in the resistance base and there’s poe, grinning.
  • and like, poe has never once in his entire life not telegraphed his feelings in great big letters and a brass band, he is the Least Subtle in the whole galaxy, it doesn’t even occur to him to ever be subtle—within seconds of being rescued from jakku everyone in the resistance was aware that poe had been saved by a handsome stormtrooper, poe had Loved and Lost, it was very tragic and everyone from the lowest droid to geneal organa knew about it
  • then of course he was alive and wearing poe’s jacket and it was unbelievably romantic. everyone knew about that too.
  • ANYWAY
  • finn wakes up, and poe is there with hearts in his eyes, like BUDDY YOU ARE ALIVE I AM SO GLAD THIS IS THE FIFTH CONVERSATION WE HAVE HAD EVER (poe dameron: lovesick and not great with restraint)
  • ((luckily, poe is very aware of the fact that finn is extremely hurt and also recently a stormtrooper. Which—poe has seen some of that first hand, and he can’t help thinking “oh fuck this guy didn’t have a name before we met, what else doesn’t he do or have or know??? I cannot fuck this up, don’t fuck this up dameron” and so he rides the brakes pretty hard))
  • only finn has never had even poe dameron’s 25% slow lane-style affection??? the first order did everything it could to curtail personal relationships so it’s a bit overwhelming and he doesn’t have a great frame of reference for what he’s feeling and how to act on it.
  • worse, poe has like, no defensive boundaries—rey is good at drawing lines (let go of my hand!) but poe greets everything with grace, aplomb and a “……YEAH all right!!!!” mindset, but it also means he offers absolutely no explanation of what’s happening at all.
  • so like, poe is standing in line at the mess hall and finn just takes his hand! and this is cool! poe doesn’t even falter in talking to some other pilot! and finn goes away thinking, okay this is what non-stormtroopers do with their friends, that’s fine I’m Fine I don’t feel like I’m dying.
  • poe goes to every single one of finn’s physical therapy appointments, every single one, and when finn uses him as a crutch poe doesn’t protest, he can keep up cheerful one-sided conversation all the way through an appointment to distract finn from the aching of his back.
  • (finn doesn’t even realize how important and vital poe is to the resistance for the first six weeks, until general organa follows poe into the med bay carrying her personal holoproj. When he looks at them blankly, she shrugs and says if dagobah won’t come to the grand master…
  • they have the whole tactical meeting right there in the med bay, while an extremely mortified finn does his stretches with the droid.)
  • ((poe, you can skip for a meeting you don’t have to—
                             you finished my mission. I’m helping you with yours.
    ))

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Is Quigley Quagmire a liar?

Every self-respecting Snicket fan has entertained the theory of a deceiving, villainous Quigley Quagmire at least once. In honor of this cherished tradition, the Snicket Sleuth is now proud to present a variation on this idea.

The character is suspicious and mysterious; however, it’s not that easy an accusation to prove. Quigley has numerous occasions to betray the Baudelaire orphans throughout the story and doesn’t seize them. And, although the stories he tells them about his life after the Quagmire fire are full of holes, his allegations are largely confirmed by other characters (Kit Snicket, Captain Widdershins, etc).

More reasonably, we can therefore assume that Quigley is not a liar per se. He could, however, be guilty of retaining important information from people who need it the most. He may have a variety of motives, but he seems to do it mostly out of shame. Quigley’s past actions may indeed have (unwillingly) caused Jacques Snicket’s death. Let’s start our trial after the cut.

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The Love Affair episode rewatch + trashy commentary

Illya waits at the airport for a Dr Margaret Armindell, who is rushed off the plane after having a heart attack. The stewardess is so overcome by Illya’s adorableness that she lets him walk off with Dr Armindell’s stuff, but who can blame her, really.

Agent Sarah Johnson is sent to investigate the revivalist Brother Love based on a card found in Dr Armindell’s purse, and Napoleon is sent to cover her. Napoleon cheerfully hijacks Sarah’s assignment once he sees a pretty girl sitting in Dr Armindell’s seat. Sarah makes her feelings about this known with Illya-worthy levels of passive-aggressiveness. I bet Sarah and Illya get along.

Napoleon instructs Sarah to run a background check on the seat-hijacker.
“I’ll have it in about two hours,” says Sarah. “Can you keep her interested that long?” she adds snidely. Somewhere, Illya is giggling.

Mr. Waverly directs Napoleon to head to Brother Love’s next destination, to “do something you do rather well - create a fuss!” Illya is terribly amused by this.

Napoleon is less amused. He’d rather stay home and have Illya soothe his poor aching head. *pets him*

Napoleon: Pretty expensive party, I’d say.
Illya: Suddenly, I feel very Russian.
Napoleon: That’s just your proletarian blood.
Illya: Well, there’s no difference between those people and me.
Napoleon: That depends on whether you’re speaking physically, financially or psychologically.
Illya: And what makes you so superior? You don’t rate exactly yourself with Dun and Bradstreet.
Napoleon: Yes, but I have that decadent air of elegance.
Illya: ……….


Illya: Well, let’s not keep the blue-bloods waiting.
Napoleon: Alright, if I’m not out in half an hour, start a revolution.
Illya: *bloodthirsty grin* That would be a pleasure.

Ahaha, oh my god, these two idiots are so adorable.

Napoleon gets kidnapped by Brother Love. Illya follows them, but Brother Love spots his car and tosses a grenade out the window, and Illya crashes the car. 

“Bulls-eye,” gloats Brother Love. Poor Napoleon is devastated. :(

There’s some interim plot of Napoleon rescuing the innocent and the scientist who’s been forced to work for Brother Love, and using the explosives hidden in his heel to burn off the ropes that he’s been bound with (and also burning his wrists in the process, poor bby!). Oh, and he also cheerfully kills Brother Love for hurting his Illya

But mainly I am shallow and am just enjoying watching Napoleon walking around sans suit.

But let’s face it, the only thing that really makes this episode worth watching is the sheer joy on Napoleon’s face…

…when he sees Illya waiting for him at the airport, very much alive and (mostly) well.

I mean, we all know why this episode is called ‘The Love Affair’, and it has nothing to do with the weird creepy cult.