oh!shit!

How much xp for that?

A while ago I was playing a 5e survival one-shot with a group of my friends. One of our number was fairly new to the game, who played a melee character, and would open every battle with the question “How much experience for that [insert enemy name here]?“ 

So the majority of the campaign was us travelling across a snowy tundra, while having random encounters. Our DM had us roll a set amount of dice to determine what we’d get. One time, we happened to roll all nat 1’s. This is what happened.

DM: Suddenly, out of nowhere, a young adult silver dragon lands in front of the party. It greets you, saying, ‘Travelers, here? Rarely do I encounter men such as yourselves. What brings you to these lands?”

So, our party takes a quick OOC break to determine to what degree we trust this surprise dragon. The campaign was fairly low-level, so we definitely did not want to anger the guy. We eventually settle the debate, and jump back in, only to have the aforementioned player start the scenario with the question:

Barbarian(OOC): How much experience for that dragon? 

DM: Uhh… *gives him a somewhat horrified stare* *checks rulebook*, ok, if you manage to somehow defeat it, I can positively say it will give you at least a few levels.

Rest of party: NO! NO NO NO NO NO!  

Long story short we managed to stop him from aggro'ing the friendly dragon into TPK'ing us. 

Context: Two PCs, talking to an old, dementia-ridden sea captain at a Gentlemans’ Club, Victorian Era setting. One is a gunslinger and the other is a cliche cowboy, hat and all.

Gunslinger: “Okay, we’ll be taking or leave now.”
Old man: *Snoring*
Gunslinger: “Excuse me?”
Old man: “I’m awake! …Who are you again?”
Gunslinger: “Leaving.”
Old man: “Oh, goodbye Sir Leaving! Oh, wait, who is your friend? Does he know his hat is too big?”
Gunslinger: “He’s our American.”
Old man: “American?! Bloody hell! Do you know your hat is too big for your head? Do you carry six guns? Are you a cowboy? Do you use spurs? Bad for the horses. We used to use them too. What were we talking about?”
American: “I mean-”
Gunslinger (to the American): “Walk away while you have the chance.”

anonymous asked:

That anon is extremely rude, even though I miss and loved swap tale it was your choice to stop it, you weren't feeling the love for it any more and I understand that. Anon, why are you so mean?

i really do feel bad about stopping it because i know a lotta people were enjoying it but as a creator i couldn’t let myself finish it after the massive outpouring of undertale AUs and fanfics and comics and stories because as amazing a game as UT is, there’s not much content to work with and it felt like everything had been done a thousand times over. it felt like i was just addin more shit to the pile yknow?

So it just occurred to me over a year and a quarter after XY68 aired.

Garchomp is a fair bit older than Charizard, given that she was fully evolved when Charizard was still a Charmander.

So Alain almost certainly didn’t have his own Pokemon at this point.

Which means that he would have had to catch and subdue an angry, frightened Gible, basically 20kg of pure muscle and sharp teeth, on his own.

And he’s covered in dirt and sweat and one of his sleeves is coming off.

You are now picturing a scrawny teenager attempting to wrestle a Gible down with his bare hands so he can take her back to the labs so she can get HEALED, DAMMIT.

And the first thing he says is, “Please heal this little one’s wounds!” and not, “SO THIS LITTLE SHIT HERE -” he’s such a pure babbu.