oh! and what really bugs the shit out of me is when people put the tip in their mouth

A very happy birthday to you Bucky

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Plot: Bucky birthday morning smut and after party smut

A/n (nsfw gifs)

Originally posted by stuckwithbuck

Birthday. Some people like them, some people don’t, Bucky was one of those that didn’t like it. He hated the fact that he was turning a hundred, sure he looks like he’s in his late twenties to early thirties but it still bugged him.

It didn’t help that the entire team teased him about it. You always told them to stop but they ignored you and kept teasing him until he snapped at them. He told them that if they kept up the teasing they would have a birthday party without the birthday boy. You reassured everyone that you were going to get Bucky in a good mood and get him to attend the party but they had to stop the teasing. They stopped and now it was your mission to get him in a good mood and have him stay happy throughout the party.

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Heartbeat (Sashea)- Ortega

A/N: Hey! This is a silly little fic I came up with having completely fallen in love with Sashea. It’s technically part of MAPverse, but can completely be read standalone if you have never read Masquerading as Professionals before! (guess who can’t let go of things lol it’s me). Thank you so much to Dandee who checked the tricky part over for me, and of course my AQ Brits who give me life every waking moment of the day. This is a cis girl AU because I’m full of originality. Also, full disclosure- the line about the lobsters was stolen from The Thick Of It. 

Summary: Shea Coulee takes the empty position for a classroom assistant at Paul Visage Primary School only to please her cousin Bob. When the teacher she’s working for turns out to be cuter than she expected, Shea starts to come up with ways to make her job a little more bearable. Sasha Velour just wishes she didn’t blush so easily.

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[This fic was requested by the lovely (and patient) @melaninharleyquinn I hope you all enjoy. You all continue to motivate me with your love and support. Xoxo, Doc]

I sat beside Mister J, idly drawing patterns on his thigh while he spoke to Wattz Corden. I had personally lost interest in the conversation the moment Wattz-y decided to cut me out of it. I don’t know whether it was because he found my opinions irrelevant, he was a misogynist, or he was scared of me, but colour me irritated. There was only so much boredom a girl can take, sure I love watchin’ my Puddin’ work but I didn’t like this putz one bit. He was the worst company and an even worse liar. 
“Don’t give us that shit,” I sighed, twirling my ring dagger around my finger.

Mister J tensed in irritation and Wattz-y turned his slightly amused/annoyed sunglass shielded eyes towards me. 
“I beg your Pardon, Miss J?” 
I glanced up from under my lashes and I couldn’t help but smirk. This guy, oh this guy, I wanted to play with this guy. 
“Y/N,” Mister J said lightly, but I knew that tone.
He only said my name but that tone said Keep talkin’ sweet cheeks, I dare you. A look like that would have shut me right up but I knew I was right, I knew this guy was a fucking snake, sure he was a criminal and criminals are snakes, but he was bein’ a snake with us. You don’t mess with me and my Puddin’ unless you got a death wish, you don’t betray us unless you wanna know what pain actually is.
“I’m sorry, what I meant was you’re a piece of shit,” 
I rose to my feet walking over to him and I sat down in his lap stroking his cheek, I didn’t need him to take off his glasses to know he was scared. 
“Y/N, you got a mouth on you tonight, doll,” Mister J growled, but I was focused on Wattz. 
“You’re lying about the money, aren’t ya Wattz-y baby? You don’t have our money, do ya?” I asked with a mock-pout, tracing his lower lip with the tip of my dagger.
“Hey, what’s she goin’ on about, boss? I thought we were talkin busine-”
“Every time my Puddin’ mentioned the money your pinky finger twitched, every time he mentioned Lex, our rival and your supposed enemy you got a little louder,” I licked my lips, leaning forward and I pressed my blade down on his pinky finger drawing blood.
“And dare I say, honey, I’m sure it’s not just because a beautiful woman is in your lap… but your heart is beating so fast and-”
Mister J jerked me up by my upper arm and dragged me a few paces away and I hissed, yanking my arm from his grasp.
“What’s the big idea? He was just about t-”
“You’re gettin’ on my last nerve, Y/N,” he growled.
Me? Did you not just hear what I- Puddin’, come on, we don’t need this loser! Put a bullet in him and lets dance,” I ran a hand up his arm, cupping the back of his neck as I pressed myself against him. 
“Come on baby, I know you want to,” I whispered, my nose brushing his as I tugged his lower lip with my teeth.
He pulled away from me and I glared at him half hurt and half furious, “No, I don’t. You’re bugging me-”
“But I’m right!” I closed my mouth, glancing down and off to the side when he gave me a look, it was a look I never liked when it was directed at me. 
“Go play or somethin’ doll, daddy’s got work to do,” he began to walk away but anger burned within me. 
“What? You don’t want me anymore? Fine, I won’t waste my time with you then,” I grumbled, shoving my way through the crowd.

***Mister J’s P.O.V

Y/N had only confirmed what I had already been suspicious of but I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of admitting it to her face. I had had Frost tracking Wattz’s movements for weeks and tonight I had planned on showing… a little mercy. He would give me the money he owed and I would bring him to the edge of death giving him barely enough time to get to a hospital. See, I could have a good side. 
But now I was angry. I was angry at Y/N for being right, I was angry at this guy for being an idiot, I was mad at Y/N for walking away from me even though I knew she never truly would. All this feeling was really getting on my nerves, I just wanted to- for a moment I lost my train of thought when I saw her. She was in the middle of the dance floor her dark skin glowing under the gold and blue strobe lights as she swayed her hips and began to dance with one of Wattz’s henchmen who obviously didn’t know any better. That’s not what I meant by play baby. Snapping out of it, my desire to kill someone only grew. 

***Y/N P.O.V

I dragged the sack of testosterone into one of the far corners by his tie. I wasn’t really into him, in fact I hated him. He had a reputation for getting a little hands-y with the women in his bosses employ and word travels around to us women in power.
“You havin’ a good time, handsome?” I whispered in his ear, giggling when I saw his eyes darken with desire.
From over his shoulder I could see Mister J, I could see him standing as he watched me. In spite of the distance I could see his chest rising and falling at a quick and heavy pace. I smiled at Mister J before turning back to… whatever he said his name was. I knew that… this guy was wasn’t going to be walking out of here after this but frankly I didn’t give a shit. I also knew, Mister J didn’t like it when I got all sweet on other men no matter the reason. 
“You wanna kiss me, baby? Come on, I know you do,” I whispered, trailing my hand slowly down his chest. 
The light bulb went off in his head and he paused, “No, no, its been fun but you’re J’s girl,” 
I leaned in and grazed his earlobe with my tongue, “Honey, just for tonight I can be whoever you want me to be,” I purred, grinning like the cat who ate the canary when he shoved me against the wall and spread my legs with a knee as he kissed me. 
It was extremely underwhelming, sloppy, and wet. I reached for my ring daggers having had enough of his nonsense when he pulled back, a gurgled and choked scream escaping him as he held his wrist and looked down at his severed hand in shock. He screamed even louder and I laughed, watching as my Puddin’ cut out the mans tongue and stuck him like a voodoo doll until Mister Nobody was dead on the ground. People cleared out pretty quickly after that with the exception of Mister J’s and Wattz-y’s men. 
Mister J didn’t look at me, I simply stayed pressed to the wall panting with the exhilaration of it all and grinning because I knew he could never stop wanting me. I knew that he burned for me just as I burned for him. Even after he has had me and has barely left my body when we are in bed I want him again. God, my body is in a constant inferno with wanting him. 
“Now where was I? Ahh yes, anyone of Wattz’s men who wants to live should exit in an orderly fashion,” Mister J growled and Wattz stood up. 
“Mister J, if this is about Ray-”
So that was gutless’s name, got it. 
“Oh no, this is about stupidity, and it looks like times up,” Mister J pulled out his guns and opened fire. 
Sprinting and flipping out of the way of bullets, I threw one of my ring daggers watching as it embedded itself into a mans eye. I hissed when I felt a bullet graze my thigh but I was already on the guy, flipping so my thighs clamped his head between them and I pulled my body up and swung it so we both fell and I brought a ring dagger down into his jugular three times for good measure. A hand fisted in my curls and I cut the woman’s Achilles tendon, hearing her scream as she collapsed beside me and I brought the dagger down to her chest.
Getting up I raised my dagger only to gasp as Mister J’s one hand found my throat while the other gripped my raised hand and he slammed me against the bar. 
“Did you have fun? Huh, doll? Come on, I know you did, say it, say it,” He snarled, and I smirked.
“I’m having fun now,” 
I giggled as he dragged me by the throat to the truck out in the alley as an easy escape from the cops, and tossed me in the back. He climbed in with me and slammed the doors. The back of the truck was dimly illuminated and I gasped when Mister J gripped me by the hair and forced me to look at him.
“You let him touch you hmm? Did you like it when he touched you? When he kissed those plump and sinful little lips of yours that belong to me?” He snarled and my confidence wavered slightly. 
“It got your attention didn’t it? It made you see Wattz and his crew for what-” 
He rolled his neck and banged his head against the side of the truck violently before he took my ring dagger from me. I felt it trail down my jaw and he gripped my hair harder, pulling my head up so he could whisper in my ear. 
“I already knew about Wattz doll, and you’ve made me very angry,” 
“So what? You gonna kill me Mister J?” I said huskily. 
“Oh, I’m not gonna kill ya. I’m just going to fuck you, really, really hard. You might be thinking I’m giving you a gift, but no Y/N. No. I am going to punish you for ever thinking you could do something like that to me,” his tone struck my heart with fear and desire. 
I cried out as he slammed me onto my stomach and ripped open the back of my dress. 
“What does this say, hmm?” He growled, and I heard his belt hit the doors of the truck as he tossed it aside. 
I didn’t reply, I was wet and shaking and when I felt him against my rear I gasped. 
What does it say, Y/N?” He hissed, and I squeaked as he entered me in one swift and hard movement.
“Property of The Joker,” I said in a gasping rush as he held me pinned and trailed the blade of my dagger across my tattoo. 
“I. Can’t. Hear. You.” 
“Property of The Joker!” I whimpered, trying to move against him but he wouldn’t let me.
“And what does that mean?”
I hissed as he rolled his hips in one slow and agonizing motion, “It means I’m yours, yours and no one else’s,” 
“That’s right,” 
He forced me onto my knees and yanked my head back with my hair, I felt his breath on my ear as he thrust into me once, twice, a third time. I felt the cold metal of the blade as it touched my throat and I moaned. 
“Are you enjoying yourself, Y/N?” Mister J purred, his tongue tracing the vein in my neck. 
“Y-Y-Yes Mister J,” I said breathlessly. 
“Good,” he shoved me away from him, exiting me, and I felt confused with the sudden departure. 
“No, please,” I gasped, turning to face him. 
“I told you, doll, this was punishment.” 
“For me?” I trailed my fingernail gently up his shaft, “Or for you?” 
I laughed when I was suddenly on my back with his hand at my throat and his eyes screaming desire and bloody murder. 
“When we get home I’m going to fuck you like an animal and when you are about to cum I will stop and I won’t let you. You will beg, and you will squirm, but you will never have it just like no one else will ever have you,” he purred.
“I’m all yours baby,” Curling my hand around his shaft I grinned when he growled at me. 
“You’re a demon,” 
“And you’re the Devil,” I whispered, snapping my teeth at him. 
“Lets see if the Devil can find God between those legs of yours,” 
“You can try,”
“Oh baby, you won’t be walkin’ right for weeks once I am done punishing you,” he said with a laugh. 
I was regretting what I had gotten myself into, but my body, mind, soul, and heart burned for him and I wanted him too badly to care. 
“Come on Puddin’, do it!”
I didn’t have to ask twice. 

[That’s all folks! As always thank you for your support. Please feel free to send me requests anytime (even if it is a continuation request) I hope you all enjoyed it! Also, I am sorry I leave you guys handing a lot just when it is getting hot and heavy…. kind of…. not really… maybe a little bit ;p Xoxo, Doc]

Celebrate Elliot

Summary: @sophiatomlinson23: Could you write an Elliot x reader imagine where Elliot finally tells the reader that he was behind the whole data wipe the changed the world? And he’s really nervous about how the readers going to react because he thinks she will react badly but she actually is super impressed/interested about how he did it and stuff? Thanks :) cx

Y/N = your name

Genre: fluffy
Words: 1049

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a word for it

This is… rather loosely based on your prompt. Disclaimer: I don’t identify as ace – maybe a little gray – so if anything about this ficlet is inaccurate or offensive, let me know and I’ll correct/take it down.

“I‘m not saying you can’t have a relationship without it. I’m just saying it’s an important part of a lot of relationships.”

Nursey punctuates his point with a stab of the joint into the air, like it’s the tip of a sword. They’re high and on the porch of the Haus and hanging, and somehow the topic’s turned to sex. All Dex said was that he doesn’t think it’s that big a deal. Which is apparently the hill Nursey’s decided to die on tonight.

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Paws Fur Coffee (Coffee Shop AU) [3/6]

Okay, some notes here, one being this chapter got insanely long for some reason. Heavenly Muse is one of my akumasonas, find her design here if you’re interested in knowing. Songs are mentioned, those will be linked in the chapter itself or at the bottom. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, hope y’all enjoy! (I will correct any errors when I’m actually awake tomorrow, gomen)

[Ao3] [1] [2] [x] [4] [5]

 There wasn’t a new akuma every week, so Adrien got to pull from some public favorites. So far, the Bubbler was a popular vote, and he had a feeling at least half of those votes were out of spite or a joke with his crazy color scheme, but Chat Noir was always ready to rise to a challenge.

 The Bubbler was…a strange memory for him. Being homeschooled he had no friends besides Chloe, Ladybug and Plagg for the longest time until he happened to befriend Nino on a music forum. Even after all this time, the fact that he was one of maybe three akuma he’s seen that had been possessed for someone else’s sake still comforted him in a weird way.

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The Game when the Sky falls into the Lake

A/N for avenue29 who said that my work was amazing :) thank you very, very much. And also for Jily Week. Because Jily is everything. Average title but i just needed to post this, if you have a suggestion for a better one message me :)


They played a game, they did.


Who could put off falling in love first.


He lost.


But, in the end, so did she.


But, in the real end, they both lost.


They will all lose in the end.




She walks around with blood curling down her spine and eyes like envy.


“Evans, go out with me?”


“Potter I will go out with you the day the sky falls into the lake.”


He looks blindly happy at this mark of progress and her eyes hit the ceiling, where they seem to always be when James Potter is concerned.




“Evans, psst, Evans”


She turns and glares so vividly that Sirius Black melts into his chair.


“What Potter?” She hisses and the hatred in her voice could shatter glass.


“Meet me in the third floor corridor at lunch” whispers the boy with moon eyes, unperturbed in the face of pure loathing.


“Whatever Potter” she snaps and Remus Lupin winces.


But she does meet him.


And when James Potter stumbles into the great hall, sporting a black eye and a broken rib, no one is quite surprised.




“Potter, pass me that book”


“Only if you’ll give me your heart, Evans”


The slap echoes around the library and the swirl of fire leaves the room with a crack and whoosh, leaving a boy with a scarlet cheek and a bruised soul lying in her wake.




She thought his love was impure, that he merely liked her pretty face and sharp tongue, her refusal to be his doll.


It was not though.


He loved the way her laugh sounded like strawberry milkshakes and that her jokes were far funnier than his, he loved the way she bit her lip when she was undecided about something, he loved her fascination with wild flowers, her hair that appeared to have soaked up the last rays of sunset, he loved her sarcasm, her handwriting, her jaw that clicked, he loved her book taste and that she was smarter than he could ever be, he loved her rolling eyes, her middle finger and her soaring spirits that tasted the clouds. 


James Potter loved Lily Evans totally and completely for who she was and who ever she wanted to be after that.


His love for Lily Evans was purest love of them all




“Here’s your quill, Evans”


The feather is placed upon the desk by thin long fingers that look like they cup stardust.


“What did you do, Potter? Sneak into my dorm and take it? You fucking arse” she snaps, waiting for the retort that will prove (once again) how right she is about him.


“No, it just fell off your desk”


“Oh. Thanks.”


Her hatred lingers in her mouth, tasting almost like regret.



The exams hover over them like flies.


She hardly notices when he sits next to her in the library, to enthralled in her Gurdyroots essay to even muster the effort to care.


“Do you know what I want?” He says suddenly, making her jump, “I want to be a ladybug, because lady bugs don’t have to worry about shit like N.E.W.T’s and all they have to do is be ladybugs”


“Yes, but they do have to watch out for predators who are trying to eat them, avoid being squashed and try not not be picked up by adoring little girls” she replies with a smile tipping against her cheeks.


“You, madam, are a dream crusher” he informs her and she laughs a laugh she has almost forgotten, the laugh of pure unadulterated happiness that bubbles from her throat and spills onto the table and over their books, staining everything in sunshine.




She runs through the trees in a blaze of red and gold, her head tipped back and mouth open to catch the twilight.


“You’ll never catch me, Potter!” She crows as she soars, euphoria ripping though her veins.


“Sure thing. Evans!” He shouts and his thundering footsteps race next to her own.


They collapse at the end, him keeling over and lying flat on his back, her leaning down, breaths sharp as they cloud the air.


“I won” he gasps from the grass


“Liar” she coughs and his grin makes the wind serge and the leaves fall back onto the trees.



James Potter’s love had one thing that other great loves did not.


Because, when he became a little less of a prick, he realised something that he was terrified of.


That he was utterly in love with Lily Evans.


But (of course) their is more to it (isn’t there always with them?)


James Potter loved Lily Evans so completely that it had gone past the point of caring if she loved him back (of course he would have much, much preferred that she did) but, James Potter found that he would rather she be happy with someone else if she could not be her happiest with him.


James Potter only wanted Lily Evans to be happy.


And that was all there was to it.





“Potter I don’t need to be protected by you!”


“I know that, Evans, of course I know that!”


But, she thinks coldly, does he really know that? Because every time a stupid, fucking Slytherin walks up to her and calls her… that. He stands in front of her like he is preparing for battle (is that really what they are doing?) roaring hatred that makes his hair smoke.


“No you don’t Potter!” And the room takes a breath, “if you thought that you wouldn’t be jumping up every time someone says anything remotely awful! I’m a big girl, I can handle myself!”


“I know you can!” He shouts like a man who has had enough and heard enough and seen enough because he is seventeen and stupid and he loves a beautiful girl who is caught in something far, far bigger than the both of them, “Evans what I did wasn’t protecting you! It’s called being a decent human being! That’s what people are meant to do for one another!”


“Why don’t you believe in me?!” She wails and the air thumps.


“Don’t waste your breath telling me to believe in you! Shit, I already do! Evans, I believe in you more than anybody has ever believed in anything, I believe in you more than the whole God damned world! How can you not see that?! How?!”


The angry truth shatters and the glass shards sink into her pounding blood and electric veins turning them a bruised blue as she gasps for air in a world that suddenly does not seem to have nearly enough.




“Pass the wine, Potter”


“Be quiet Evans, or they’ll hear us”


He passes the bottle anyway and years later she will wonder how she ever got to that point, sitting in the rose bushes at midnight with James Potter, sharing a bottle of stolen, bitter wine in the vain hope of forgetting everything.


“God, Potter what is going to become of us?” You whisper into the night.


“What do you mean, Evans?” His voices murmurs back.


“I mean this war, this horror, this madness, the fucking smell of death that I can’t wash out of my robes. What will happen to us? Are we going to die? Are we going to lose? Shit. Fuck. Are we lying to ourselves when we say it will be okay? Why on earth are we lying, Potter”


He is quiet for a moment, sipping the tart wine and thinking over the words that scratch her brain, leaving scarlet gashes along every happy thought she has ever had.


"Because lying is easier than saying we’re all going to die” he finally says and he smiles at the sky like it knew all of his secrets.


And you were surprised to find yourself jealous of those stars.





“Evans, I didn’t know you smoked”


She blows the smoke is his face and he coughs and smiles, fanning his hand uselessly.


“That’s because I don’t smoke Potter”


He raises his eyebrows


“I mean, I don’t smoke regularly, but every once and a while-”


“You feel rebellious” he finishes smugly and she hits him on the arm and blows out a stream of grey.


“You’re doing it wrong” he whispers and takes the cigarette with his long fingers and puts it between his teeth, breathing in swiftly and then blowing out, but he does not blow mere grey smoke. James Potter breaths red and golds and yellows and blues and they stream out in a haze of kaleidoscope colour, swirling and diving into her skin making her shiver as the smoke warms her ice bones.




“What do you care what Potter thinks Lily, you don’t love him like he loves you”


The words, normally harmless, whispered, bored-in-Charms-class talk, make you shiver and she remembers.


She remembers the grass that holds the echo of their thundering feet and thumping hearts


She remembers the bitter wine and red lips talking of lies and wars.


She remembers the room panting while a seventeen year old boy tells her he believes in her more than the whole world.


She remembers ladybugs and sunshine laughter.


She remembers a haze of rusted colours that twist against the moon.


“But I do, I do love Potter like he loves me” you say, loudly, and the classroom turns and stares, wide eyed and opened mouthed as the words you have been longing to say burst like fireworks, melting and dripping their violent colour on to the floor.


They are all staring at you and suddenly James Potter is up, climbing across desks in great, leaping, James Potter bounds and people are confused and someone cries as he steps on their hand but he does not notice, to focused on the girl with hair like blood curling down her spine and eyes like envy that devour his soul.


And then he is on her desk and then he has jumped off with a thud and is looking at her with hazel eyes that are better than firewhisky and better than smoking and better than everything and he leans close to her mouth and whispers “Of course you do, darling” into her rose lips and then he is kissing her and all of the liquid fireworks are running under her skin charging it with black hair and neon blood and the sky falls headlong into the lake.




They played a game, they did.


Who could put off falling in love first.


He lost.


But, in the end, so did she.


But, in the real end, they both lost.


They will all lose in the end.









anonymous asked:

lightning bug meme first time Dirk and Jake kiss??? :3

haha I see what you did there, anon.  Nice try. ;)

They’re not a couple in lightning bug au but I wrote you something canon anyway. <3


“What’s wrong with me?”

You blink sort of dazedly at Jake, reaching up to slide your shades back into place where they’ve come awry.  You’re no expert or anything but this is not the follow-up you tend to expect after being ambush-kissed by an attractive South Asian engineer in the mess hall.

But Jake’s staring at you with his face scrunched up in distress, his own glasses crooked, dark hair mussed, lips still pink and swollen, and—okay, enough, time to function on all cylinders, here, Strider.  Get your head back in the game. You trace your lower lip with your tongue as you sit back, groping blindly for something useful and coherent to say.  “I’m going to need you to clarify that statement a bit, bro.  What kind of problem are we talking about here?”

“Why the devil can’t I make this kissing tomfoolery come out right?”

You swipe a fallen strand of hair from your face, only to come to the realization that the usual precision order of your gelled hair is probably a complete loss for the day.  Okay then.  “I’d venture to say that you’re doing all right from this end.”

Jake’s unhappy face just gets more unhappy and oh.  Oh.

That’s… disappointing.  But.  Right.  You’re cool.  You try to put a little expression back into your blankface.  Something calm and reassuring.  “Sometimes it just doesn’t click, bro. Attraction’s not some magical paint-by-numbers.  Maybe now’s not the time or maybe I’m just not the right person for you to test drive the tongue-tangomobile.”

“But it didn’t work with Roxy or Jane either.”

Wow, you ranked last in Jake’s experimental run-through of the crew.  You are so flattered.

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