Jamie & Claire | Modern AU | At forty-five, Jamie fears he will never meet someone that measures up to the woman of his dreams.
A friend of mine recently said, “He who waits for something good never waits too long.” It’s a Swedish proverb, apparently. And it gave me the inspiration I needed to write some modern Frasers.
I. Woman of His Dreams
November 14, 2017
“Hmm,” Jamie hummed noncommittally. “I can see why ye’d think this a great tool for finding girls. What I canna see is how it’d help me.” He shoved the phone back in his sister’s hands as though simply holding it was a sin—perhaps it was, he thought. Something about looking through images of mostly-young girls made him feel dirty.
“I’m forty-five years old. I’m too old for them. I’m too old for this. I dinna need yer help finding a lass, and frankly I’d rather find one in real life, not through the Internet.”
“Brother, ye canna keep looking for a twenty-year-old daydream. She doesna exist!” Jenny had the idea that Jamie had long ago—twenty years ago, to be exact—painted a picture in his mind of his ideal woman that he had been looking for ever since. “Ye ken the chances of walking into a bar and finding your perfect woman are significantly slimmer than those of finding her with the help of one of these ‘ridiculous dating apps.’”
Jamie sighed, wordlessly praying for his sister to please, dear God, leave him be. “I’m not looking for my perfect woman. I’m not looking for any woman. It’s you that think I should.”
“Twenty years is a long time, brother,” she reminded him, going back upstairs. She left the phone in front of him in hopes of him changing his mind. Unfortunately for Jenny, that wasn’t likely to happen. Jamie Fraser was, indeed, a Fraser and that was evident in his stubbornness.
Truthfully, Jamie couldn’t really deny his sister’s claim that he compared every single woman he met to an ideal no one was likely to ever live up to. And as ridiculous as it sounded, he had always thought his perfect woman was out there somewhere, he just had to be patient.
But now at forty-five, Jamie had doubts he’d ever find her, yet he wasn’t content to settle for second best. If no woman could ever live up to his fantasy, why try dating at all? Wouldn’t it be unfair to the women he’d meet if he knew he could never fully give them his heart? However ridiculous it seemed that his heart belonged to a dream.
It was later that same day when Ian proposed they go out for a dram. Jamie sceptically raised an eyebrow, giving Ian a look that said “I ken what you’re doing.”
“I’m buying,” Ian offered. Jamie wasn’t going to say no to that. At least Ian wouldn’t be as bad as his sister. Jenny had clearly stated her wishes for Jamie and would go to great measures to see those wishes come true.
As Jamie predicted, Ian oh-so-subtly tried to assist Jenny in Project: Find Jamie a Wife.
When Jamie had told Jenny he’d rather find a woman in real life, this was not what he’d meant.
“What about her?” Ian pointed at a tall brunette that was standing by herself, looking rather forlorn.
Jamie had to admit the girl was very pretty, yet he shook his head. “I went out to drink, not to find a lass. I ken Jenny’s worried, but I canna just … I canna force it to happen.”
“It?” Ian questioned. “Love?”
“Well, how do ye expect it to happen if ye willna give any of these lasses a chance?”
Jamie sighed deeply and agreed to go talk to the brunette, even though he knew it wouldn’t happen.
“Ian came home early last night. He said when he left you were talking to an actual woman,” Jenny said the next morning as Jamie was eating breakfast. “How’d it go?”
“That doesna sound great to me. What went wrong then?”
“Nothing went wrong. She was nice, funny, pretty—”
“But not the one?” Jenny cut off. “Oh, brother, there is no such person. I thought we talked about this yesterday”
“Aye we did, and I distinctly remember telling ye I dinna need yer help finding a lass.”
Jenny sat down opposite her brother. “Why did ye come here all the way from Edinburgh?”
“To see my family?”
“And you’ve seen us. But, Jamie, ye never stay this long. I think you were lonely.”
“How can ye say there’s no the one,” said Jamie, changing the subject from his loneliness. “You’ve found your one in Ian, have ye no?”
Jenny’s shoulders slumped in resignation. “Aye, you’re right. But Jamie, I didna know that right away. Ye canna say some lass is not your true love after one conversation simply because of something Da said once. I only ask you bear that in mind.”
Whether or not he would, he couldn’t say. But Jamie had always fancied himself a good judge of character and he held on to his father’s words with an iron grip. When he found the one, he would know.
And however improbable it was that he would find this woman in reality, he knew that if he closed his eyes he would see her again in sleep.
Lance’s mental state and problems are probably talked a lot more than everyone else’s because Lance is very relatable with his, I think that’s what the creators of voltron were aiming for. Lance is the most relatable but of course there are still people that relate to characters like Allura or Keith. Don’t take offense that Keith isn’t talked about much with his problems, they’re so hidden that the majority of fans that relate to Lance don’t see it. Also lanCE DOESNT NOTICE IT SO HOW DO YOU EXPECT THE PEOPLE THAT RELATE TO HIM TO SEE ITJFJDJ
Lance and Keith are exact opposites just like the people that relate to either side of them, yes every character in Voltron is struggling but some are more hidden and some not many relate to. I relate to Lance and Pidge, and it took me awhile to see this struggle Keith is going through what really made me understand it was season 4. Wait until season 5 and I think that’s when everyone will see Keith’s inner demons, that he’s not just a gay shipping material boy.
And to anyone reading this that still can’t see Keith’s struggles, the boy sacrificed himself because he thought he was more valuable in death, allura hated him for being half galra for a few episodes although you could tell he was growing a friendship with her, Allura told him in the hallway in season 4 that he is useless to BoM but that voltron needs him to fly the black lion but then shiro can pilot the black lion meaning Keith is now needed nowhere, he feels heavily guilty fOR EVERY SINGLE SMALL MISTAKE HE MAKES MY BABY BOY IS BROKEN OK!1!!111!!
It was a lovely way to spend the afternoon, snuggling
together behind the dejarik table and envisioning how they’d spend their time
if they never returned to the Alliance.
“Just think,” Leia said. “No High Council.”
“No shitty rations,” Han said. Leia looked at him. “Okay. Fewer shitty rations.”
“Definitely,” she agreed. “You’re a good cook. Maybe you
could teach me.”
“Flying lessons and cooking lessons. I think I could handle
that,” he said, grinning. “Oh yeah—no more ice planets.”
“For certain. Though we’d probably be better at keeping each
other warm, now.”
Han shook his head, chuckling at her. “Best pickup line on
Hoth, and I never got to use it on you.” Leia elbowed him in the ribs, then
went in for another kiss.
They held each other quietly for a while, then Han had to go
and throw cold water on the whole thing.
“Y’know, there’s one problem with your little fantasy, here,”
he said, stroking her hair gently. “It wouldn’t last.”
Leia pulled back from him, surprised. “What do you mean?
Her earlier admission that yes, she truly believed she could
be happy here with Han had been the closest she’d come yet to saying those
three words, the ones she felt but couldn’t quite get out of her mouth. The same
words that had fallen freely from his lips throughout this trip—but did they
mean nothing after all?
“Sweetheart, ‘m not saying that, no. Not us. The running away thing, that’s what
She looked at him, her eyes doubtful.
“Think about it. We’d make it maybe six weeks doing the
whole running around the galaxy thing. And don’t get me wrong, it would be
great. But ‘bout a minute later we’d be starting rebel cells and freeing slaves
and saving pittins and whatever else needs doin’.”
Leia nodded, but didn’t say anything.
He took a deep breath, and continued. “I’ve seen a lot of bad shit, and I spent a
long time pretending it wasn’t there. Had to, to get by. You have to do something
about it,” he said. “You can’t help it.”
“No escape, eh?” Leia said ruefully.
Han tipped her chin up to look at him. His eyes were soft. “You
give a damn, Leia. It’s just who you are. ‘S why I love you,” he said, and
Of all the times he’d said those words on this trip, this
was the time Leia would most remember, and treasure.
“And hell—you make me want to give a damn, too.”
Leia clutched him tightly. Suddenly the reality she’d been
staving off for the last few hours was running back in, and she didn’t want it, she didn’t.
But she knew he was right. “I still want to run away,” she admitted, holding
back a sob.
His arms were warm, comforting, and his voice was soft
again. “Nothing wrong with that. And y’know, just because we’re gonna go back
sometime doesn’t mean we couldn’t still play hooky for a little while. Even
after we get the ship fixed.”
His eyes were wet, too, but he was smiling at her
in that way that made her melt. She nodded.
“And for now, we’re both right here,” he said. He put a palm gently on her cheek. “I don’t need to be the hero tonight. And neither do you.”