Today in biology all the guys in my class were talking about which sports are “real” sports and this cocky football player turns to the class and raises his hand and says “can we all agree that female basketball is a joke?” and then I raised my hand while looking at him and said “can we all agree that you are a douchebag?” I’ve gotta say… Proudest moment of my life
The Signs as Officialunitedstates Facts of the Day
FACT OF THE DAY: it’s apparently not okay to raise 16,200 seagulls from birth, train them every day in the art of aerial warfare, and then unleash them upon a medium sized township
FACT OF THE DAY: mashed potatoes were discovered in boston, massachusetts in 1871, when a young chef accidentally stepped on a potato and decided to see what it tasted like
FACT OF THE DAY: no one knows exactly how the dinosaurs went extinct, but one scientist, officialunitedstates, thinks that the reason behind the mass extinction was their size, “They’re just too big. They probably fell over a lot, maybe broke their ankles and stuff.”
FACT OF THE DAY: you can do it, buddy
FACT OF THE DAY: the reason why you can’t dig a hole through the earth and come up on the other side is because your shovel would melt. that’s it. that’s the only reason.
FACT OF THE DAY: anteaters actually never eat ants. ants and anteaters have had an alliance since 1972, and there is no living member of either species that has eaten the other.
FACT OF THE DAY: ugg boots come from the ugg tree, native to australia and new zealand. when asked for comment, the ugg tree did not confirm. it cannot talk. it is a tree
FACT OF THE DAY: you can create homemade apple juice by smashing an apple with a hammer 19 times
FACT OF THE DAY: the US military has spent over $15 billion researching the possibility of using snowballs as weapons. Snowball Strike Force Unit goes combat ready within the week
FACT OF THE DAY: if you are in an elevator descending at exactly 9.80665 m/s2 and you jump, you will remain in the air, essentially floating, for as long as the elevator continues to accelerate downward
FACT OF THE DAY: if you never tie your shoes you have over 1.7 years more free time over your lifetime
FACT OF THE DAY: starbursts are made out of moons, not stars