official dinner

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee.

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialized area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theater full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

Imagine you’ve finally been granted a divorce from your asshole ex-spouse who refused to sign the divorce papers. The judge says you need a witness to you signing the paper to make the divorce official. Not having brought anyone, and wanting it to be done with you stick your head out of the Judge’s office and say “Hey! Wanna be a witness to my divorce?” to the first person you see. The man turns around and is the most stunning, dark haired, emerald eyed man you’ve ever seen. He chuckles and accepts. He signs as the witness and you’re officially granted the divorce. 

As you’re walking out of the courthouse, he formally introduces himself as Loki and says “I know this is rushed on account of what just happened, but would you like to get dinner?”

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialised area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theatre full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

I still don't know if he ever got his coffee

I’m not 100% sure this even belongs here and I’ve posted this story elsewhere so some of you might have read it already.

Some background: I work in a rather specialised area of Forensics. Officially I’m employed by Police Scotland but they tend to let other law enforcement agencies, universities, etc borrow us from time to time. A lot of the time it’s for consulting work or guest lecturing but sometimes we’re sent to teach training courses.

About 18 months ago I was asked to lecture at a training course for some of the CID higher-ups in an English Police force. It was the first time I’d done anything like it and I was crapping myself.

I met with the conveners and other officials for dinner the night before my first day, and after dinner and drinks, I was dropped back at my hotel.

So to set the scene; it’s about 10pm, I’m all dressed up in my evening wear and I’m sitting at the bar in the hotel lounge. The place is dead, it’s just me and the barman so I’ve taken off my heels and am unraveling my hair having just ordered a hot chocolate. The barman asks if I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. Yes, of course I want mini marshmallows on my hot chocolate. No I don’t mind waiting while you run to the kitchen.

So I’m sit there trying to trick my phone into connecting to the hotels WiFi when Angry Man walks in.

He stomped into the room and slammed his fist down on the bar about 3 ft from me and barked out one word:

“COFFEE”

I didn’t know it but apparently that attempt at communication was aimed at me; a fact I learned a moment later when Angry Man moved right up next to me, bent over me so his face was practically in mine and barked out again;

“COFFEE”.

In an attempt to get away from the screaming coffee man I slipped off the bar stool, putting it between the two of us. Extremely confused and more than a little terrified, it didn’t immediately occur to me that he thought I worked there, hell it wasn’t even registering that he wanted a coffee. He was just repeating it the same way a toddler does when they learn a new word but don’t entirely know what it means.

I’m going to blame the confusion, fear and tiredness for my completely moronic response, which was to parrot the word back at him.

Me: “Coffee?”

Angry Man: “COFFEE”

Then he slammed his fist down on the bar again. This time I noticed that he was actually throwing down money.

My brain suddenly came back online.

Me: “Oh. Eh, the barman should be back in a sec. H-”

Angry Man: “Get me a coffee. Now.”

Ooooh four new words. Progress.

Me: “I’m sorry, mate, I don’t work here.”

Angry man (shouting now) “You fucking lazy liar!! Do you think I’m fucking stupid?”

Yes, actually, but I’ll be keeping that to myself.

Angry Man: “Get off your fucking phone and get me a shitting coffee”

Me: “I really don’t-”

Cue rant about me being the only person in the lounge so of course I must work there and I was just being lazy and did I take him for an idiot. All while I’m slowly backing away from the bar so he can’t pin me between it and the bar stools. Then he throws in this:

Angry Man: “Do you have any idea who I am? Do you have any idea how important I am?”

I never got to find out how important this guy thought he was. Instead Angry Man’s Friend came wandering in.

He took one look at me; pretty much cornered by Angry Man who is now screaming about how he’ll make sure I never work again while I’m trying to calmly tell him to back off and he tries to intervene.

He took Angry Man by the shoulders and moved him back away from me while asking him what was going on.

Angry Man: “This stupid little whore is refusing to serve me”

Me: “I really don’t work here”

Angry Man’s Friend: “She doesn’t work here. Let’s just all try to calm down”

There was a few moments of Angry Man’s Friend trying to calm Angry Man while he ranted about getting me fired until two barman arrived, one of them with my hot chocolate. The presence of the three men distracted Angry Man enough for me to grab my shoes and escape with my chocolatey goodness.

As I left I could hear him demanding to speak to a manager.

The next day, after being introduced to a lecture theatre full of high ranking CID Officers, I stood and walked to the podium only to be greeted by one guy in the audience laughing hysterically.

I just sort of froze trying to figure out the joke. Did I have food on my face? Was my shirt on inside out?

A quick check confirmed that, no. I’d managed to adult that morning.

A few other people began to chuckle as this guy struggled to get a hold of himself. As he regained control he pointed to his left.

Where a very red looking Angry Man was sitting.

I think it was the sheer relief that he wasn’t actually laughing at me that caused me to open my mouth and say to Angry Man;

“Oh did you get your coffee in the end?”

He walked out and I didn’t see him for the rest of the course.

IKD Challenge - First Kiss (Supercorp)

She’s going to do it this time, really. She is. This isn’t like the last two times. For one thing, this time Kara excused herself to the restroom right at the end of the meal, found the waiter, and gave him her credit card, so she has officially treated Lena to dinner. (The two times before that, Lena had insisted on taking the check, and Lena is very good at insisting.)

“Kara, did you sneak off and pay?” Lena laughs when the waitress brings the receipt back, and Kara beams, proud of herself. “You know I make your monthly rent every 14 minutes, right?” Lena reminds her, and Kara mock scowls.

“Alright, first of all, that is rude for you to say out loud,” she pronounces, and Lena grins at her unrepentantly. “True, but rude. Secondly - it’s not about the value of the meal, it’s the principle of the thing! I wanted to treat you to something.”

At that, Lena’s smile transforms from a smirk into something warmer and more intense, like the sun, and Kara has to look away and blush, because she wanted to make her point, but she’s afraid she has played her hand a little too early.

She’s going to do it tonight, but she didn’t mean right now.

Keep reading

isak and even are terrible at domesticity and we have to talk about it:

  • they use their lack of a washing machine as an excuse not to do laundry for a week, but even after they manage to drag it all the way up to their 4th floor apartment, isak refuses to wash his clothes. it’s a thinly-veiled excuse for him to wear even’s clothes, and though even whines about the never-ending unwashed piles of laundry, he can’t complain when he sees isak wrapped up warm and cozy in his hoodies.
  • they barely have furniture in their house until they start an impromptu game of hide and seek one day, and realize that it would be a lot easier to hide in a house that isn’t empty. they make a trip to ikea to actually buy all the tables and stools they’ve been neglecting, and drunken hide and seek is easier after that. it’s still kinda hopeless though, because they’re both so tall that their limbs stick out from all their hiding places. but getting found isn’t the worst thing, not when it’s by each other, not when the game ends with soft kisses pressed to softer cheeks.
  • i was talking to @dahlstrom about this and they don’t have plates! anywhere! honestly they eat pizza with napkins, and their use of paper plates could singlehandedly fuck up the environment. they have a box of cheap ikea plates, but honestly, isak lost it under all their mess and they keep forgetting to open it until they’re getting ready to eat, and who wants to set up dishes when even’s pasta smells so damn good and isak just wants to shove it in his mouth?? vilde finally buys them a set, but they forget to unpack that too, so five seconds before she comes over for their first official dinner party, they’re both scrambling to open the box, to show all their friends that they’re actually super responsible adults.
  • no one believes them.
  • the worst part about all of this is how easy it is. it’s easy to get used to waking up beside each other the morning, easy to get into the habit of teasingly calling out “honey i’m home” at the end of the day, easy to sync their morning routines so they know exactly how to get ready together without getting into each other’s way, and start every morning with a kiss. they’re both aware that this may be the honeymoon phase, and there’ll be a time when they’ll find each other’s habits downright annoying instead of adorable. but they’ll both take this while they can, because there’s no doubt at the end of the day that no matter how often they’ll fight, how many barbed words they throw at each other, they have their entire lives stretching ahead of them - together.

         We are so excited to be an official selection of the Austin Web Fest!

That’s right! Poe Party is coming to Austin! Not sure if we’ll be able to attend in person or not yet, but we’re thrilled to be a part of the fest happening June 29-July 2nd. If you’re in the Austin area, we hope you’ll come check it out!

The way Bangtan would kiss;

d i s c l a i m e r || this is just my opinion based on the general idea of their character I have formed through out the years. Of course you could have a totally different opinion than mine (since we’re all different people, we also perceive things differently) and of course I have no way of knowing if I even came close to the reality so take it as it is: an opinion of a fellow ARMY. Thank you :)


Seokjin

Originally posted by pleasingpics

I see him as a very manly type of guy so he strikes me as the classical type of boyfriend that gives you that feeling of “protection”, you know. That’s probably because he has the widest shoulders ever wtinessed by the human race.
So I think his kisses would be that classical “hands around face or neck” type of kisses. Sweet but also passionate, sometimes even playful when he wants to bring up some of his jokes to the table just to watch you laugh.
I don’t see him as the person who would be really into PDA - unless is something simple like holding hands - and he strikes me as a person who likes to keep things private so I don’t think he’d initiate in front of others. But once the door is closed… well ;)

Namjoon

Originally posted by perfectfeelings

Well. Well. Well. Passion.
That’s how I’d describe it with just one word. Namjoon really strikes me as a passionate kind of guy - also in bedroom to be honest - so whenever I think about him in those types of situations I’d imagine a normal thing to be kissed whilst pressed against a door or a wall - or a matress obvisouly lol.
I think out all of them he would be the one more prone to give french kisses (as on a daily basis really) and to take his long ass time during a make out session. He’d be fine with his significant other initiating a kiss but he’d probably wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself, if you know what I mean.
He can be really shy too so, PDA for him would probably be a bit tricky, depending on who’s watching and it would definetely affect is passionate side because that is only for their other half to witness.

Yoongi

Originally posted by sensualkisses

I think Yoongi can be very passionate and very sweet depending on the occasion. As a daily type of kisses I’d imagine him to give slow kisses more than anything. Maybe a bit of tongue action here and there but mostly relaxed, sweet and torturatingly slow kisses. I feel like he’d be the type to love kissing in the morning, while still in bed and hugging each other.
I also see him giving eskimo kisses to his significant other with one of his adoring smiles on his lips.
He would probably be into touching his other half a lot whilst kissing - like caresses on their face or body or even grabbing the skin when he’s being more passionate.
Also, hickeys would definetely be a thing.

Hoseok

Originally posted by chicastrology

Aaah, our sweet angel Hoseok.
I think he wouldn’t have any problems with being affectionate in public - always with decency of course XD - because he’d be too much into his significant other to care about the world around them.
I feel like out of the seven he’d be second only to Namjoon when it comes down to passion. He could also be really playful and like to tease you - and be teased- from time to time.
He’d also probably kiss his other half at the most randomest of times just because he was missing them of watching them from afar and couldn’t resist any longer. I see him as someone really prone to skinship - no matter what level or form - so there would be a lot of physical contact with him on a daily basis.

Jimin

Originally posted by annoyingvoidzombie

Even tho Jimin can be quite the passionate type, I still see him as someone who’d be sweet more than anything else. He’d really like to cuddle with his significant other and kiss for hour straight while holding them in his arms.
He’d be the type to look at his partner a lot and smile fondly at them even when they can’t see him just because that’s how madly in love he is.
He’s definetely too shy to do a lot of PDA but he wouldn’t back down if his partner initiated it and maybe he would even initiate it himself in occasions like dates - but not like an official dinner with friends if you know what I mean.
It would probably be hard for him to be apart from his other half so he’d be bent in spending most of the time they got together either kissing them, hugging them or just generally cuddling.

Taehyung

Originally posted by sensualkisses

Taehyung strikes me as a really playful type of boyfriend. He’d like to kiss his partner everywhere he can possibily access and especially every inches of their faces and would bask in the way they laugh when he does so. I see him being really into neck kisses, especially if under the ear, and he also strikes me as someone who would playfully leave love marks on their partner’s body and even bite them from time to time.
He’s definetely the affectionate type of guy so he wouldn’t be really able to stop himself from touching their other half in public - weather it’s sweet kisses on the cheek/head or caresses or holding hands - and he is definetely the type to cuddle for hours, to fall asleep with them in their arms and to whisper into their ears from time to time (or even sing!).

Jeongguk

Originally posted by pleasingpics

He would be such a playful tease! If his significant other is shorter than him then they wouldn’t hear the end of it EVER. He’d love to complain how his neck hurts from having to get too low to kiss them but he’d do it with his adorable smile just because he likes to see them sulk. I see his teasing just as a playful manner to witness his partner laugh or smile. 
He could be passionate but I think he’s also extremely sweet. He’s definetely not the type of guy to show a n y PDA in public, but I don’t see him as refusing it either. As in, he wouldn’t want to hurt the person he loves so he wouldn’t publicly reject them. But he wouldn’t initiate anything at all in front of strangers. The best he could possibily do would be holding hands.
He’d be really into back hugs and therefore kisses on the neck, the cheek and the head. Also, he’s the little shit who would give a kiss on their ear and laugh his ass off at his significant other outrage.


I did this on a whim, tbh. Also, I should avoid writing when I’m tired. I don’t have the mental strenght to re-read this so if it’s full of mistakes and nonsensical phrases, please ignore  ┬┴┬┴┤(・_├┬┴┬┴

allura roller skating into the common room, dragging lance behind her: Attention, everybody! Everybody, listen up. You are all officially invited to a dinner party at my home, which is officially the space castle warship, because I don’t have a home (anymore). 

lance: We’ve been dating for almost a month, so we just decided that we wanted to do something special. And dinner parties do combine two of our favorite things, dinner and parties.

allura, roller skating backwards out of the room: Your invitations include requests for each of you to bring stuff, ‘cause we don’t have a whole lot. Don’t be late.

Since I’ve experienced so much attitude in my time at Mode, I’d like to posit an observation: One thing that is often lost in the changing of an attitude is the cause for that change. This is best understood when you consider attitudes on a personal level. I ask you, dear reader, to think back to a time when you experienced a major shift in your life. Was it an external change, something that happened outside of you, and forced a change of attitude to help you adapt to the future? Perhaps you saw a friend demonstrate a prowess that cast her in a new light. Heck, maybe it was as simple as your friend getting a makeover. Or perhaps that friend was undergoing her own life change, one in which she would no longer be present in your life, compelling you to make your own change to keep her in it, even if it were in a new context.

Just as important: Maybe the change was an internal one. Maybe you realized you were no longer interested in maintaining your status quo. Perhaps you wanted to try new challenges not only in your professional life, but also in your personal one. Or maybe one day something just changed inside you in the way you saw that good friend, causing you to want her to be more than, well, just a friend.

—  extract from Daniel Meade’s final letter from the editor.
And I can reveal they were closer than ever at the Baftas, just 24 hours after being snapped hugging at a pre-party.
Emma, who won Best Actress for La La Land, and Andrew were seated on tables next to each other during the official dinner at Grosvenor House after the gongs.
The pair were even spotted cuddling and holding hands after the meal. An onlooker revealed: “As soon as Andrew finished his meal he made a beeline for her and gave her a huge hug. They chatted and laughed for at least half an hour.
“They looked very animated and happy to be together.
—  x
Here's What Happened
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b></b> *Episode 10 Minako and Mari are fangirling just as we would at Otayuri's date*<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> Hey looks like Minako and Mari are already there. Guys what are you doing?<p/><b>Minako and Mari:</b> Yuuri!!! We need a huge favor!!!<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> Uhh..what kind of favor...<p/><b>Minako and Mari:</b> We need you guys to casually invite us and them *points at window* to dinner together!!!<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> Them??? W-who's them???<p/><b>Viktor:</b> OHMYGOSH YUURI!!! LOOK AT YURIO AND OTABEK THEY LOOK SO CUTE!!!<p/><b>Minako and Mari:</b> Them!<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> W-wait that can't be Yurio, he looks too...smiley.<p/><b>Viktor:</b> WE ARE DEFIANTLY GOING TO INVITE THEM! YURIOOOO! OOOOTABEK! YOU GUYS WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH US?<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> If looks could kill...<p/><b></b> *annoyed Otayuri joins them*<p/><b>Viktor:</b> YURIO WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL YOUR LOVING FATHERS YOU HAD A DATE WITH THIS STRANGER!!! *holds onto Yurio and glares at Otabek*<p/><b>Yurio:</b> *breaks free from Viktor's hold* YOU IDIOTS ARE NOT MY FATHERS AND THIS WASN'T A DATE!!!<p/><b>Viktor:</b> *holds him again and sobs* HE COULD HAVE KILLED YOU!!!!<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> *akawardly nudges a trying to stay stoic Otabek* You'll have to get used to this...<p/><b>Otabek:</b> ...Why?<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> *knowing smile* You two are officially invited to dinner with us...Hey Viktor why don't you invite Chris while I call Pitchit?<p/><b>Viktor:</b> *still holding on to a furious Yurio* OH SURE THE MORE THE BETTER TO HELP US KEEP AND EYE ON THESE TWO!!!<p/><b></b> *a little later after confirming Chris and Pitchit then deciding where to go*<p/><b>Yurio:</b> *makes his way with Otabek to his motercyle*<p/><b>Viktor:</b> WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING YOUNG MAN???<p/><b>Yurio:</b> IF YOU MUST KNOW TO OTABEK'S MOTERCYLE!<p/><b>Viktor:</b> Otabek's M-M-MOTERCYCLE SO SO SO SO THAT TRENDING TAG ON TUMBLR AND TWITTER ARE TRUE??? *grabs onto Otabek's scarf and glares at him* YOU KIDNAPPED MY SON?!?!?!?!<p/><b>Yuuri:</b> If we all make there in one piece it will be a miracle...<p/></p><p/></p>
2

Thomas Jefferson and the Giant Cheese,

In the summer of 1801, Elder John Leland of the Baptist church at Cheshire, Massachusetts convinced his congregation to make a giant cheese in honor of the current president, Thomas Jefferson.  It must have been an odd experience, a pastor at the pulpit preaching that an abnormally large roll of cheese should be made for the president in honor of his republicanism and defense of religious liberty.  But the people of Cheshire dutifully made the cheese, utilizing the milk of 900 cows and forming it with a 6 foot diameter cider press.  When finished, the cheese measured 4’ 4.5’’ in diameter and was 1’ 3’’ thick, weighing in at 1,230 pounds.  In November the cheese was shipped 500 miles to Washington, first down the Hudson River, then down the Atlantic coast to Baltimore, then by wagon to Washington.  

The giant cheese was presented to Jefferson on New Year’s Day, 1802, and was engraved with the motto, “Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God”.  Since Jefferson had a policy of not receiving gifts while in office, he paid $200 for the massive cheese.  Critics in the Federalist party criticized Jefferson for the large cheese, with one writer describing it as a “mammoth” cheese, the first time in history the word mammoth was ever used as an adjective.  

Over the next three years it was served and slowly consumed at various White House dinners and official conventions.  It was last served at a presidential reception in 1805, afterwards the remainder was dumped in the Potomac River, as the cheese had gone bad.

Let’s eat

Summary: You have some hickeys from the morning but you have to go out eating with your boyfriend JB an the rest of the members.
Genre: Fluff
Length: 1k

This morning had been great. More than great actually. But the aftermath was a bit annoying to say the least. The purple marks all over your neck, trailing from your jaw to your collarbones were very visible. Too visible. They were deep red-purple and were scattered all over your skin.  “Shit! Babe, they don’t want to go away!” Your boyfriend walks in the door and places his chin on your shoulder with a smug grin.

 “I am sorry but also I’m really not.” You smile and push him away. He laughs after you as you walk out of the bathroom. You walk to the freezer and take out two icecubes and place them on your skin. The ice is so cold and immediately melts when it touches you. It isn’t a pleasant feeling but it had to be done. You had a pretty official dinner with his friends so you couldn’t just throw a sweater over top either. After a bit, you take the icecubes off. “And? How does it look?” Jaebum looks at you and then smirks.

“Still there. I think you might have made it worse.” “Don’t say that.” He walks over and pulls you close. “Why do you mind them so much anyway? They just show everyone that you are my girlfriend. Is that so bad?” You look up at him. “No, they show everyone that we had pretty rough sex this morning and I would rather not have all your friends know that.” He kisses your lips softly and then places a kiss on your nose.

“Well, you better hurry up then, because we only have 15 minutes left.” You look up at the clock. Oh shit! Running into the bathroom again, you take out your concealer and put on a thick layer. You could still see them, but it kinda helped hide the hickeys. You tug your dress down a bit, and look at yourself for the last time. “Okay,  let’s go.” you shout at JB, who is waiting at the door. As he grabs your hand and walks out, you sigh. Please, don’t let them see. 

The door of the restaurant opened for you and you walk in, hand in hand, and walk over to the table. It seemed you weren’t the last ones, wich was good. As your boyfriend was the leader of the group, it would be pretty inapropriate to be the last anyway. The two youngest boys, Yugyeom and BamBam were already nicely on time, sitting on their chairs impatiently waiting for the food. Also, Jinyoung and Jackson were there already. 

As you walk over to the table, JB squeezes your hand softly, making you relax just a little bit. You greet them with a bow and sit down on the chair JB had pulled out for you. They all look up at you but then look back to the menu. JB sits down next to you and rests his hand on your knee. After a second, a grin appears on Jackson’s face as he looks back at you. You sip from your glass as you read the menucard. 

“What seems tasty to you, Y/N?” Jackson’s voice breaks the silence. You look up at him, he still staring at you with a big grin. The rest of the table still reading the menucard. “I don’t really know yet.” “You know, JB doesn’t seem very hungry.” he says, making everyone now look up to turn to him. “I think he might have been eating something else earlier.” 

Your face flushes bright red at his words, and you look down at the menu, all the eyes on the table now turning to you and Jaebum. All of a sudden, BamBam gasps. “Y/N, what is that in your neck. Did you hurt yourself?” Yugyeom asks innocently, making you look up at him. “I’m fine, Yugyeom.” you say, your voice soft and hoarse. 

BamBam leans forward to take a closer look and then starts laughing. “Oh my God, JB. The poor girl.” Your face flushes even brighter red, making everyone except innocent Yugyeom laugh. Jinyoung, who is sitting to your right, throws his hand over your shoulder. “I feel bad for you.” he grins. You look down and hide your face in your menucard. JB just looks at you and smiles. He was clearly proud of his work, but you felt like dying. 

“Seems like she didn’t mind it though.” Jackson shouts out, making you look back up at him with wide eyes. Everyone is dying laughing, except for you and Yugyeom, who is still trying to figure out the source of everyone’s fun. BamBam leans over to him and whispers something is Yugyeom’s ear and the boy then starts blushing. “Doesn’t it hurt, Y/N?” he asks shyly. You shake your head, barely visible, and then look over at JB, who was enjoying your suffering. 

Now the restaurant door opens and Mark and Youngjae walk in, appologising and greeting everyone. Everyone is still laughing at you though. Mark bends down to kiss your cheek when he spots the purple marks on your skin. A huge smile appears on his face as he looks over at JB. “So, JB, how was your day?” JB looks up at him, still smiling. “It was pretty great actually.” You turn back around and stare into nothing, praying for some help.

As the waiter comes over, everyone sits back down and calms down, each ordering nicely. As soon as the waiter leaves, Jackson turns to you and grins widely. “Jaebum ordered the salmon, but only because you weren’t on the menu.” “Jackson!” you squeak, making everyone turn back at you and laugh. It was obvious you were never going to hear the end of it. JB squeezes your hand under the table, drawing a heart on the back of your hand. You know what? It was alright, because your boyfriend was right next to you.