office photocopiers

So imagine if instead of being notorious criminal overlords the FAHC were that one group of disgruntled office employees quietly sticking it to the man through petty theft, mild property damage and passive aggressive notes.

Geoff as the totally disenfranchised manager, who hates his cohort and higher ups more than any of his underlings could manage, constantly muttering insults about everyone under his breath and watching the clock tick the day away. He has somehow, very much unwillingly, managed to accidentally start collecting a little group of equally resentful coworkers to complain to and plan tiny little revolts with.  

Michael and Jeremy as workerbees under Geoff, who sit in neighbouring cubicles and spend most of their days complaining to each other about this nightmare office and coming up with excuses to call Gavin up to hang out with them. Together they play really petty little tricks on one of the managers who always screams at everyone, and when Geoff catches them at it one day they think they are done for. Jeremy sees his life flash before his eyes, Michael is halfway through fantasising about flipping some desks on his way out, but Geoff just makes a suggestion, tells them last week’s efforts were much more impressive, and goes about his way. From that point on he really can’t get rid of the two of them.

Gavin as IT’s wonderchild- there isn’t a piece of hardware he can’t coax into working or any kind of software he can’t navigate in his sleep. That’s really the only reason he hasn’t been fired a million times over, what with the way he ignores clothing standards (except for on  his inexplicable ‘Fancy Fridays’), rarely bothers with appropriately respectful deference, spends way too much of his time hanging out at Michael’s desk and keeps breaking into peoples accounts and leaving juvenile jokes and embarrassing viruses. But he’s just so damn good, and the fact that the terrifying head of IT has a huge soft spot for him doesn’t hurt.  

Ryan as the head of the IT department who almost everyone is legitimately scared of. Who likes the computers much more than the idiots who insists on breaking them, glowers at everyone who brings him their stupid problems and is way more built than any tech nerd has any right to be. Ryan makes the whole group amusingly nervous at first, he and Geoff have a whole infamous history complete with a public screaming match over an unrecoverable destroyed hard-drive after all, but Gavin drags him along to enough lunches for everyone to see he’s mostly just a very cranky marshmallow.

Jack who works in human resources and used to be so optimistic, legitimately trying to improve everyone’s experience before slowly getting crushed under the growing hatred for the business. Jack who knows exactly who is responsible for the near daily complaints their office receives about anonymous troublemakers but is just as exasperated with the management as everyone else so helps keep them all out of trouble.  

They take their lunches together, occasionally joined by Lindsay from administration and, strangely enough, two members of office security, Matt and Trevor. They make a pretty motley crew; half unnaturally peppy, half perpetually angry rainclouds, sharing each others misery and covertly planning their next big rebellion. Stealing stationary and packed lunches, spiking the punch at office parties, sabotaging the photocopier, posting embarrassing google histories, accidentally uncovering their bosses’ shady white collar dealings and making off with millions of dollars in stolen money. Wait, what?

anonymous asked:

2- alex is always on the station so they need her to sign some paper to get her some special badge, the desk girl says 'detective sawyer already filled your information, you just need to sign it, maggie completed all these personal info perfectly without asking anything and just when alex couldnt be more happy, she notices that maggie checked the 'married' box (to be fair it was either that or single, and alex is not single) (i gained 100 years in my life when i imagined that)

J’onn waves off the armed guards escorting Maggie to and from the DEO’s control room after she saves Alex’s life – and the lives of four other agents – in the field. Her ability to come and go as she pleases in his James Bond super spy lab is secured just by his dismissive nod, by his small grin, by his hand on her shoulder, and the words, “The DEO is in your debt, Detective Sawyer. And so am I.”

The process is more formal for Alex coming and going in the NCPD precinct.

She needs to fill out paperwork to get herself a special badge and she rolls her eyes at first because what, my FBI ID isn’t enough for you local cops, and don’t you know I’m in a rush to bring my girlfriend lunch and an update on the case? but then the officer at the desk leans over with a small, private smile, and she hands Alex the paperwork, already filled out.

Alex blinks as she recognizes Maggie’s tight scrawl, blinks as the desk officer tells her “Detective Sawyer already filled out your information, we just need your signature on pages three, and four, and five where I’ve marked the lines.”

Blinks because Maggie had remembered her stories about her aunt’s breast cancer in her medical history, remembered the surgery Alex had told her about having from a surfing injury when she was in high school, remembered her birthday, her address, her mother’s phone number and address in Midvale in case of emergency.

Blinks because Maggie hadn’t asked her anything; Maggie had simply… remembered. Maggie had listened. Maggie had cared.

Blinks and almost chokes when she does a double take at the first page; a double take because Maggie had checked the “married” box when the form asked whether Alex’s relationship status was “single”, “married”, or “divorced.”

Stupid choices, she could just hear Maggie muttering, and she could just see her smirking, her eyes lighting up with a question, her eyes lighting up with hope, when she checked the married box.

Alex blinks down tears and Alex smiles and Alex signs everywhere the desk officer tells her to.

She floats through the halls and slips next to Maggie’s desk, slapping the paperwork that she’d asked the desk officer to photocopy down in front of her without preamble, finger marking the “relationship status” question.

Maggie looks up at Alex’s face and Maggie looks down at Alex’s finger.

“Well, you’re not single, Danvers,“ she tells her, pushing back from her desk and standing, putting her hands on Alex’s waist.

“But I’m not married, either,” Alex protests, her fingers reaching up to run through Maggie’s hair.

Maggie glances down at the papers. “You signed them anyway,” she observes, and she gulps.

“I did.”

“Do you wanna be married, Danvers?”

“I do.”

45 iKON asks :D

ASK ME ANYTHING!

1. Which member of iKON would you have as your personal secretary/trainer/chef?
2. Would you rather have your iKON bias as your personal secretary/trainer/chef?
3. What iKON song do you wish had been turned into a music video?
4. What iKON song do you wish had a drama version?
5. What is your favourite photoshoot that iKON has done?
6. What is the iKON song that you’ve listened to the most?
7. Is there an iKON song that you’ve felt especially attached to recently?
8. What is the iKON song that you can relate to the most?
9. Is there an iKON song that you really don’t care for?
10. Is there an iKON comeback concept that you were surprised to see YG choose?
11. What is a comeback concept that you hope to see iKON adopt in the future?
12. How would you feel about iKON adopting a ‘beast’ concept?
13. Do you spend more time reading iKON fan fiction/watching iKON vines or looking at iKON fan art?
14. Would you rather have the ability to write really good fan fiction, paint really good fan art or make really good pastel edits?
15. What would you wear to an iKON fansign?
16. If you could bring any item for iKON to sign at a fanmeet what would you bring? NB: Body parts don’t count ;)
17. Would you rather take a high quality selfie with your bias or film a shaky 6 second vine together?
18. Did you prefer watching iKON perform My Type or Apology?
19. What is a whole group activity that you think iKON would like to do on a day off?
20. Would you rather own a closet full of iKONIC clothes or an art gallery full of iKON fanart?
21. How would you feel about iKON adopting a 'BEAST’ concept?
22. How satisfied are you with your tumblr layout at the moment?
23. How would you feel about iKON seeing your tumblr?
24. Do(es) your parent/legal guardian(s) know about your tumblr? What do they think about it?
25. What musical do you think it would be fun to see iKON star in? Grease? Mamma Mia? High School Musical?
26. What’s the best fan fiction you’ve ever read?
27. Is there a type of fan fiction you can’t stand reading?
28. What’s your favourite type of fan fiction story?
29. Do you rewatch iKON music videos regularly or do you mainly watch a music video when it comes out and then just listen to the song?
30. If you could only listen to one iKON album for the next week what would it be?
31. If you could only listen to one iKON song for the rest of the week what would it be?
32. Are there members from other groups that you like more than some of the members of EXO?
33. Do you have anything iKON related on your birthday wish list?
34. Do you have anything iKON related on your birthdaay wish list? Do you have anything iKON related on your Christmas wish list?
35. R u more fluff, smut or angst?
36. What do you think is the iKON fandom’s biggest strength?
37. What do you think is the iKON fandom’s biggest weakness?
38. Is there anything you feel that the BTS fandom has that the iKON fandom is lacking?
39. How satisfied are you with your tumblr layout at the moment?
40. What is your favourite cover that iKON has done?
41. Which iKON member do you think has the most unreleased selfies on their phones?
42. Would you like to intern at YG Entertainment HQ even if it’s just doing mundane office tasks like photocopying, stapling, licking envelopes etc.
43. Which setting for a fanfiction appeals to you the most: School of Performing Arts, Seoul (SOPA)/YG Entertainment Dorms/Backstage at an iKON concert/A new coffee shop in  Gangnam?
44. How much would someone have to pay you to get you to wear a full length, white and poofy wedding dress to a fansign?
45. Is there an iKON song which you really wish had been turned into a music video?

Thank you @hbi-n for encouraging me to make these asks public- I had a lot of fun coming up with these questions! Reblog and allow your followers to get to you know a bit better ^^ @ikonis @junhwegu @lil-languagelearner

Where do gods come from? Where do they go?
Some attempt to answer this was made by the religious philosopher Koomi of Smale in his book Ego-Video Liber Deorum, which translates into the vernacular roughly as Gods: A Spotter’s Guide.
People said there had to be a Supreme Being because otherwise how could the universe exist, eh?
And of course there clearly had to be, said Koomi, a Supreme Being. But since the universe was a bit of a mess, it was obvious that the Supreme Being hadn’t in fact made it. If he had made it he would, being Supreme, have made a much better job of it, with far better thought given, taking an example at random, to things like the design of the common nostril. Or, to put it another way, the existence of a badly put-together watch proved the existence of a blind watchmaker. You only had to look around to see that there was room for improvement practically everywhere.
This suggested that the Universe had probably been put together in a bit of a rush by an underling while the Supreme Being wasn’t looking, in the same way that Boys Scouts’ Association minutes are done on office photocopiers all over the country.
So, reasoned Koomi, it was not a good idea to address any prayers to a Supreme Being. It would only attract his attention and might cause trouble.
—  Small Gods, Terry Pratchett.

by  Saṃsāran

Ah, tis the season for candy canes those red and white peppermint delights. That’s right peppermint. Don’t even think about buying those grape, apple or butterscotch monstrosities and passing them off on unsuspecting holiday revelers.  

How you eat your candy cane says a lot about you:

There are the biters. They bite off chunks of the candy cane. These people are impatient and impulsive and are the types who try to peek under the gift wrapping to see what they got. They are not to be trusted.

Then you have the folks who start at the hook end. These people are nonconformist and have a tendency toward exhibitionism. They are the ones who can be counted on to undress at office holiday parties and photocopy various body parts..

Finally you have the prison shank people. They lick the cane until it forms a deadly pointed weapon. They always think “this is the perfect murder weapon, commit the crime and then eat the evidence”. If you know one of these people you had best sleep with one eye open.

๑ Samsaran ๑

When I first started this blog, I intended to post only collage which I made in secret on the office photocopy machine.

The pile of copies under my desk eventually got out of hand though and I had to abandon that idea.