office confession

Eggsy Unwin Imagine - "Not Your Moneypenny"

Title: Not Your Moneypenny (as in, like, ‘not your babe’. Ha!)

Pairing: Eggsy x Reader (but not Reader x Eggsy bc he’s dumb)

Summary: Eggsy and Roxy are called into Merlin’s office, which they’ve never been to. In front of his office, his attractive secretary (Y/N) (Y/L/N), was there to sign them into Merlin’s office. After sarcastic insults from Merlin, Eggsy learns that you are actually Merlin’s assistant, and a lot more experienced than Eggsy. 

Original Request:

A/N: Tell me if you want a part 2^^


“Have you ever been called to Merlin’s office?” Roxy asked, her voice laced with worry. Eggsy stole a quick glance at her from the corner of his glasses to see her still fidgeting with the edges of her suit.

“I didn’t even know he had an office.” Eggsy confessed, walking through the walls of the Kingsman headquarters, repeating the directions Merlin gave him in his head.

“Do you think we’re in trouble?” Roxy’s fidgeting was becoming more and more manic by the second.

“Stop that!” Eggsy hissed, slapping away one of Roxy’s hand. She gave him a sheepish look. “And no, you’re not in trouble. I, on the other hand…”

“What did you do this time, Eggsy?” Roxy sighed, giving him a side eye.

“Nothing harmful, I promise!” he raised his hands in defense. She gave him another look. “I may or may not have let JB piss in one of the recruit initiates’ room.”

“Oh, my God,” Roxy tried to hold in her laughs. “You’re such an arse!” she slapped him playfully.

“Ow! Roxy, you’ll wrinkle my suit!” Eggsy giggled like a little girl as he tried to slap away Roxy’s hands.

Ehemm,” a woman cleared her throat behind a tall table at the end of the hallway. Without realizing it, Eggsy and Roxy had arrived at the door to Merlin’s office.

They shared a nervous look before advancing towards the table. Both of them held in a gasp once they saw that it was a pretty young woman staring expectantly at them. Eggsy wanted to gasp because of how beautiful you were, and Roxy because of the fact that there was another woman in this place. So this is where they had been hiding, she thought.

“I didn’t know Merlin had an attractive secretary. Say, how do you suppose I get one?” Eggsy raised an eyebrow slyly at you. Roxy had to resist the urge not to roll her eyes aggressively.

“Not with that weak attempt of a pick up line, that’s for sure.” you raised your eyebrow back at him without lifting your eyes from the computer you were typing things into.

Eggsy’s eyes widened and Roxy snorted in an attempt to cover her cackles.

“Ouch,” Eggsy faked a wince, not ready to back down. “Come on now, don’t be like that.” he pouted, his green eyes already working it’s magic through a puppy dog stare.

“Is Merlin expecting you?” you asked in a bored, flat voice, still not lifting your eyes from the screen as you looked through Merlin’s schedule. Truth be told, you knew who he was; Merlin already briefed you earlier that morning. He even warned about his womanizing, over confident, coy attitude that he might bring up the second he sees your face. You were fully prepared for this situation.

“Yes, he is. It’s probably under—uhh,Lancelot, and Galahad.” Roxy stepped in, pushing away Eggsy away slightly. “And I do apologize for my colleague’s behavior.”

Eggsy gave Roxy a childish glare, but what he wasn’t prepared for was the way you looked up from under your lashes at Roxy, a small smile on your lips. You were breathtaking, that’s for sure; pretty hair that sat in a neat braid, soft lips, long lashes, sharp eyes, and tinted cheeks. You looked like the kind of woman that everyone would chase to hook up with, but you couldn’t because you were too busy kicking ass.

“At least one of you lives by ‘Manners Makketh Man’, or in this case, woman.” you smirked at the girl, still choosing to ignore the guy.

Eggsy looked bewildered. This was probably the first time a girl chose someone else over him, and another girl at that. “Wha-“

“Merlin will see you now.” you cut him off with the sound of your keyboard clicking as you pressed enter on Merlin’s schedule, looking him deadly in the eye.

At first, the guy’s eyes became huge in shock, but slowly the smirk you heard in his voice returned to his face. You had to admit, he was hot; dark blueish-green eyes, cheekbones more structured than your life, jawline that could cut you, dirty blonde hair groomed neatly to the side. But anything that happened at Kingsman was strictly business, you’ve told yourself that since day one.

Instantly, Merlin’s door opened and the three of you could hear his heavily accented voice.

“Come in.”

“There you go,” you gestured to the door, standing from your chair. “I’m (Y/N) (Y/L/N), by the way.” you held out your hand to the girl.

She gave you a cheeky smile as she took your hand. “Rox-“

“Lancelot.” you gave her a small wink.

“Yeah,” she suppressed a giggle from her mistake.

The guy looked completely frustrated as he tried to move ‘Rox’ away as gently as possible, hand already outstretched for you to take. “And I’m-“  

“Galahad.” you nodded, leaving his hand hanging. “I’m not that much of a bimbo secretary.”

‘Rox’s eyes widened as she let out a laugh, dragging a shocked ‘Galahad’ into Merlin’s office by the collar of his shirt, ignoring his protests.

“Yes, come in. By the time you reach me, ten people will already be dead.” Merlin rolled his eyes from his chair in the edge of the room, facing all of the different screens he had. His office was just as Roxy and Eggsy suspected; modern, technology filled, clean cut, and not a single pen out of place.

“We were just having a chat with Miss Moneypenny outside,” Eggsy huffed, straightening his collar that Roxy messed up.

“As in the secretary from James Bond?” Merlin raised an eyebrow, turning his chair to face the two agents.

“Yes?” Eggsy said, unsure.

“You bloody idiot.” Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “(Y/N)’s not my secretary, she’s my assistant. My secretary is out for the day.”

“What difference does it make?” Eggsy suppressed the need to roll his eyes.

“You’re more daft than I thought, Galahad.” Merlin gave him a look. “She’s my assistant; as in, she’s properly trained and has done a lot more field agent work than you have. She’s your senior. She could’ve killed you before you even tried to wink at her, but she chose not to. Don’t exactly know why, seeing as with the way you talked to her, I would have had your head already.”

“Nice.” Roxy gave him a taunting look. Eggsy gulped nervously.

“Right then,” Merlin rose from his chair. “Your next mission will be breaking and entering into one of the world’s tightest museums. A man named Quincy Norman-“

“That’s a shit name.” Eggsy interrupted Merlin with a whisper, causing Roxy to punch his shoulder. Merlin gave him a death glare, causing Eggsy to give a sheepish smile in return. “Sorry, continue,”

“Last Wednesday, Quincy Norman tried to break in and steal one of the world’s most prized sculptures. The owner of the museum, Jack Gallagher, is incredibly worried and so yesterday morning,” Merlin clicked a few keys on the keyboard, causing multiple images to appear. “He installed a bunch of new security alarms, not to mention a double in the amount of security guards. We suspect that Norman will strike again during tomorrow’s event; a Gala held by the owner’s daughter, Rose Gallagher. Important young people from all over the world are invited. Your job is to go undercover as Ella, Ashton, and Tricia Morgan; the three teenage children of Andrew Morgan, the owner of a successful oil company.”

“Oh, I am so excited to be with a bunch of prissy rich teenagers.” Roxy’s lip tightened sarcastically.

You were a prissy rich teenager two years ago,” Eggsy gave her a look. “Wait,” he turned to Merlin. “You said three names?”

“Yes, (Y/N)—” Merlin eyed Eggsy. “—will be joining you. If I may say, she’s probably as good as I am with hacking skills. You’ll need her to break into their security system. The rest, you two may discuss with her for strategies.”

“Oh, shit.” Eggsy muttered under his breath. Roxy smirked at him.

“You are dismissed.” Merlin nodded as if to conclude their conversation. Eggsy and Roxy nodded back, turning to leave Merlin’s office. “Oh, and Eggsy?”

“Yes?” Eggsy turned back around.

“May I suggest apologizing to (Y/N) before you go on this mission?” Merlin taunted.

“Screw you, Merlin.” Eggsy huffed childishly, stomping out of his office with a giggling Roxy trailing behind him.

Okay I’m going to make one more post on this.

An argument I’ve seen is that johnlock won’t happen because the casuals aren’t convinced. The heteronormative, casual audience will never be convinced until they actually see a kiss or hear a romantic love confession. I don’t know why their reactions would be any sort of indication of where the show is going this week, when it never was before.

Then, I see people disappointed there was no confession last night/the scene was played as “no homo.” I’m sorry, but I think we watched two very different scenes. First of all, John had to come to terms with his guilt over cheating on Mary before he could ever have a relationship with Sherlock. We know that a weight is lifted off his shoulders after he admits to being unfaithful, because the show outright told us he felt better in the therapist’s office.

As for no confession: it was not the right time. Seriously, John was crying, feeling horribly guilty over cheating on his wife and never actually getting to come clean, with her being dead. Sherlock would have been an inconsiderate prick if he were like, “That’s a shame…….btw John, I’m gay and I love u :>”

Like, no. That would have been rushed and out of place, and John wouldn’t have been ready in that moment. Instead, Sherlock did what you do when you love someone who’s hurting–he comforted John and let him have his moment.

Okay, now for saying the scene was treated like “no homo.” I don’t understand this. Where? Just because Sherlock didn’t outright say he was gay when talking about the Woman? Let’s talk about that scene. John is jealous YET AGAIN over Irene, and Sherlock says it’s just texting. 

John insts that Sherlock should act upon his chance to become romantically involved with Irene because romance would make him a more complete person, and before he knows it, Sherlock’s chance could be gone.

How is this not gay?

The end of the episode set the stage for johnlock. We now know that Sherlock must enter a romantic relationship in order to complete his character arc, and it ain’t gonna be with Irene. He just dismissed that possibility. Who else could he possibly end up with?

And, John talking about missing out on a chance at romance? He wasn’t talking about Mary. He took his chances with Mary. He dated her, proposed to her, got married to her, and had a child with her. There were no missed romantic opportunities between them.

John was talking about Sherlock. John thinks he missed out on his chance to be with Sherlock, most likely because of the Fall, and because he loves Sherlock, he genuinely wants to see him happy, thus insisting he should be with the Woman, because John has thought Sherlock has feelings for her for years.

It’s been said before, but I’m going to say it again: this scene happened in TAB.

Why did the fandom collectively rejoice over that scene, but the reaction to the modern version is split down the middle? Because part of the scene and John crying had to do with Mary?

I will stress this: John was crying because he was horribly guilty for cheating and never getting to come clean, not over Mary herself.

Once again, we saw that when he had that weight lifted off his shoulders, and he was able to tell himself it’s okay to move on in the form of Hallucination Mary, John became happier.

One last point: the end of TLD made the audience prepared for the idea of Sherlock being in a romantic relationship. It has to be romance. That’s the context of the conversation (”romantic entanglement”) and there’s BBC iPlayer’s tweet, “Sherlock’s in love!”

Next episode, he’s going to say “I love you.”

Guys, come on.

This got much longer than I intended, but please try to calm down. It ain’t over til it’s over, and honestly? The odds are in our favor.