offensive slur

it’s always sunny in philadelphia officially actually 100% having mac say he’s gay like, not the others saying he’s gay, not as part of a joke, but like deadass mac just saying he’s gay and looking at his friends to check they really are okay with it has genuinely added years to my life, I’m cleansed, I’m reborn and i am grateful

The Major Arcana as People You Meet In College

0. The Fool: The freshman. He’s fascinated by the fact he just entered college, plans on joining every club imaginable, and thinks he can handle 8AM classes. Still wears his lanyard around his neck.

I. The Magician:The one who actually has all their shit together, lives off of campus and works a real-person job. Probably works out too. You want to not like them for it but they’re too nice.

II. The High Priestess: She’s kinda quiet and reserved, but if you talk to her she’s really smart and knows a lot of fun random facts. The sweet one that unexpectedly knows a lot of fucked up shit and freaks your friends out at a party for a few minutes that one time.

III. The Empress: She’s a junior when you get to college, but she likes you a lot and shows you around. She’s a big help and tells you about local deals on food. Buys you alcohol for the party but then makes sure you stay safe when you’re drunk. Very attractive, probably gay.

IV. The Emperor: This guy is probably older than you, and tends to give really good advice when you have drama. Sometimes his male privilege goes really unchecked but he’s willing to learn and know better. Designated driver.

V. The Hierophant: Absolutely can’t cope with the fact that underage drinking is a real thing. Straight A’s, probably on some Student Government board or faculty-built club that encourages good student conduct. Kinda snobby so you don’t talk to them much, but their help in Physics class was the only reason you passed.

VI. The Lovers: You’ve never known these people to not be dating. They’re basically already married and you’re basically their first child. When The Fool comes around you get upgraded to Aunt or Uncle or something. They give good relationship advice.

VII. The Chariot: He’s friends with all the right people, gets away with outrageous antics and never gets in trouble. Always has tickets to that concert you want. Cocky with a heart of gold. Smooth af. Probably tries to ask you on a date.

VIII. Strength: Deals with way more shit than you do. Holds your arm so you don’t rip somebody’s neck out when that person tries to pick a fight. Says they’ll “deal with” the creeper who’s been stalking you. You have no idea what she said to them, but they never approach you again.

IX. The Hermit: The friend that everyone likes, wise beyond their years. Every time you invite them to hang out, they’re busy with homework or something else comes up, even though they’re legitimately not trying to avoid you. Meditates daily. Forgets about that huge campus event you go to every year.

X. The Wheel of Fortune: You meet in a class and hit it off really well. You guys are close for a while, and you learn some life lessons and gain some new interests or viewpoints. The new semester rolls around and they basically fall off the face of the map.

XI. Justice: The friend who almost got alcohol poisoning once and completely changed their life afterwards. They’re much more stable now and seem a lot happier. They invite you to a bonfire at some point.

XII. The Hanged Man: He’s kind of a weird guy, but in a way that you still like hanging out with him. Has drastically different views about the world than the rest of your friends, which leads to a lot of really in-depth, interesting discussions. You emerge from that friendship a lot smarter.

XIII. Death: The one that finally managed to convince you to drop that club, break up with that person, or quit that destructive habit. Their solution for everything seems to be hard cut offs, you’re both impressed and intimidated by it.

XIV. Temperance:The student tutor you finally go to in an hour of need. They manage to completely salvage your paper from the brink of despair in under an hour. You feel like you have been touched by an angel.

XV. The Devil:Invites you to his birthday party, which is by far the trashiest situation you ever experience. Meanwhile, he gets tanked, calls somebody a string of offensive slurs, then does a line of cocaine. You don’t speak anymore.

XVI. The Tower: They seem cool and all, you talk now and then but are still getting to know them. Then, you hear them say something INCREDIBLY problematic or hear down the grape vine about their old sexual assault charges. You can’t look at them the same way anymore and now just thinking about how you used to hang out leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

XVII. The Star: That faculty member you LOVE. She helps you build your schedule, helps you fix your grade in the class, and reminds you that some people aren’t so bad after all.

XVIII. The Moon: Things are pretty good. You have a solid relationship going with somebody, then this asshole shows up and now you have to rethink everything about your current relationship and if they’re really worth dumping someone over. You agonize over it, not knowing what you want, until it just kinda awkwardly blows over and you figure out they aren’t into your gender anyway.

XIX. The Sun: This person is the one always sharing mildly-political information on Facebook. Before you know it, you’re freshly passionate about the causes you care for the most, and still educated on the ones you don’t put as much energy into. You cared about these things before, but they’re the person that armed you with the knowledge you needed to actually have constructive dialogue about it.

XX. Judgement: Best friends with Justice, and is remodeling her entire life. You don’t hang out with her often so the next time you see her she has a new hobby, new major, new hairstyle, and has probably stopped talking to certain members of her family. It was tough but she seems better for it.

XXI. The World: Your person. They stick with you from year one to when you graduate. You complement each other really well. You still make healthy time for other people but they’re still your best friend. Eventually when you get older they’ll have a kid and name it after you probably.

Ok Zootopians it’s time to TAKE A STAND!!!

Originally posted by mattnyc816

CALLING ALL ZOOTOPIANS!!! We need your help to stop cyber bullies! I was ok when these jerks were trolling me but now they’re targeting @ziegelzeig Jill Fine and other readers of Take a Stand. They’re using offensive language,homophobic slurs (Which really hurts cos i’m Bi)  belittling people from a non-nuclear family unit and forcing their religious ideals into attacks online. 

The trolls are known as PSYCOX1890 and MAFIAGUY2017 and here’s some examples of their hate spiel…

Disgusting aren’t they? They baiting folks into a fight but I know a way to really counter their hate, THEY MUST BE REMOVED FROM FANFICTION.NET so I need to ask you guys for a small favour I need you to email the website admin on support@fanfiction.net and report this abuse PLEASE GUYS WE NEED YOUR HELP!!!! The Zootopia fandom is a great place and is being sullied by this hate.

@fuzzywuzzylittletail @if-you-wanna-getout-alive @thezootopianadict @zootopianewsnetwork @secretfurry92 @somethingcalledafurry @senny74 @yoshifan30 @nick-and-judy-daily @artf0rlife @trashasaurusrex @helthehatter @reddoshirousagi06 @kulkum @zootopepo @judylavernehopps @cloudyloudy @pyrophoricitee @nekomimiranger @wilde-hopps @blueberrycarrots @bluelightenterprises @master-lux PLEASE REBLOG AND SPREAD THE WORD! TAKE A STAND AGAINST CYBER BULLIES!!!

Replacements for Ableist Language - OCD

A recent ask made me realize that I should probably have some kind of series to help educate writers about ableist slurs / offensive uses of words relating to mental illness, and offer replacements to use for writers.

Note -  It is ScriptShrink’s official opinion that anyone who has been the target of the ableist language used here is fully and 100% able to reclaim it if they so choose.

This was going to be a single post, but it started getting huge so I’m splitting it up. First up is…

OCD

Wait, Shrink, you might say. Why is “OCD” in a series about ableist language? Obviously it’s not a slur, right? True, it’s not a slur, but that doesn’t mean it’s not sometimes used in an ableist, demeaning way.

What it literally means:

It’s an acronym for “Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.”

When you should use this word / phrase:

When you’re referring to the disorder itself and / or people who actually have obsessive-compulsive disorder.

When you should not use this word / phrase:

When you’re referring to people, behaviors, or things that are not related to the actual disorder.

Why you shouldn’t use this word / phrase:

OCD has a lot of symptoms that are often debilitating to the people who have it, and by associating this disorder with casual, non-clinical level symptoms (such as simply preferring being organized or being focused on details), you make it harder for people who actually have OCD to make their struggles heard and understood.

Examples of how to this word / phrase appropriately:

“She’s been diagnosed with OCD - she washes her hands for hours a day.”

“I have OCD. I have disturbing, intrusive thoughts and do compulsive behaviors in response to them.”

“In the DSM-5, OCD is in the same category as Hoarding disorder, Body dysmorphic disorder, Trichotillomania, and Excoriation disorder.”

Examples of how not to use this word / phrase:

“You actually fold your underwear? You’re so OCD.”

“I’m so OCD about brushing my teeth twice a day.”

What to use instead:

NOTE - I am not saying that any of these words are synonymous with OCD, or that people with OCD necessarily have these qualities. These are just alternatives that can help people describe what they really meant before they chose to use “OCD.”

All of these words have different meanings and connotations. Don’t just pick a word off this list at random - look it up and see if it’s the right one for what you really mean.

Cleanly
Conscientious
Controlling
Detailed / Detail-oriented
Disciplined
Exacting
Fastidious
Finicky
Fussy
Meticulous
Methodical
Nitpicky / Nitpicker
Orderly
Painstaking
Particular
Perfectionist
Persnickety
Picky
Precise
Punctilious
Scrupulous
Self-controlled
Squeamish
Strict
Systematic
Thorough
Tidy

So that’s it for the first part! What ableist language or slurs would you like to see me cover in this series next?


Support ScriptShrink on Patreon!

“Mental retardation is a medical term uwu” lmao no the proper definitions are “intellectual disabilities”, “ neurodevelopmental disorders” or “learning disabilities”, a huge deal of the medical community agreed that “mentally retarded” is an inaccurate and stigmatizing way to describe mentally disabled individuals. Stop calling people retards and then insist it’s not an offensive term.

4dm1r4lnummytum5  asked:

What counts as offensive under your rules? Besides the obvious mean unnecessary comments, is "obscene" language and the such okay?

Swears are fine! Our own group has quite the collective potty mouth, and we know most games aren’t rated PG. :) 

Generally, “offensive” means slurs (including racial and gendered) - words or insults intended to hurt or demean. It also includes offensive or hurtful actions (especially sexual assault), or references thereto. As long as you avoid those things, you’re fine!

Originally posted by tana-the-dreamchaser

Harry Potter rated by appearances of Snape
  • philosopher’s stone: too much. 2/10.
  • chamber of secrets: “…an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don’t mind my saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy — however, I felt it would be instructive to let them see”..."Snape looked murderous." SHOOK. 7/10.
  • prisoner of azkaban: fuck this bitch. “Longbottom, at the end of this lesson we will feed a few drops of this potion to your toad and see what happens. Perhaps that will encourage you to do it properly.” Snape terrifies Neville so much that his Boggart takes the form of Snape. also reveals Lupin is a werewolf to the entire school and effectively ruins any shred of happiness my sweet child had. -100/10.
  • goblet of fire: besides his strangely intimate (and dare i say, erotic) conversations with Karkaroff like ??? 6/10.
  • order of the phoenix: just a huge fucking dick. goads Sirius constantly, makes fun of Harry when he witnesses Harry’s personal and sometimes traumatic memories during Occlumency lessons, calls his best friend an incredibly offensive slur. 3/10.
  • half blood prince: literally this book is named after him. 0/10.
  • deathly hallows: HE DEAD !!!! 100000000000000000000/10
  • cursed child: the fuck ??? “I know you’re a good man. Harry Potter told his son you’re a great man.” “Thank you for being my light in the darkness” “Snape looks at him, every inch a hero, he softly smiles” -59857298109033/10

anonymous asked:

I don't know if you knew but saying that queer is a slur is terf rhetoric ☎

so do u think people who have been victims of homophobic/transphobic bullying and have negative associations with the q slur are terfs or?

just bc ur okay with it doesnt mean everyone is, not everyone is lucky enough to grow up in places where kids dont play smear the queer or where homophobes call them a dirty queer while physically assaulting them

i get that you personally have reclaimed it, but have you ever considered that maybe there are also trans people (trans women too!) who have not reclaimed queer? i dont know if you knew but accusing trans women who have experienced homophobic and.or transphobic trauma with the q slur of terf rhetoric is NASTY

Not to sound too political or anything but… could we stop referring to some people’s identity as a something that needs to be censored? Or at the very least NOT shame people who use queer as their identity? Just a suggestion.

anonymous asked:

Can you call a man a puta? Recently heard my friend refer to a male colleague as such but I don't think she used the right word???

You can, though… it’s hard to explain exactly because Spanish is such a gendered language.

Calling a man a puta does exist, though it’s sort of like calling him “a little bitch”, since it’s a feminine word. If you’re insulting a man and you’re trying to be vulgar, you’re more likely to hear cabrón or bastardo rather than calling him puta unless it’s used in a demeaning way. You also hear hijo de puta/perra or sometimes a conjunction of it like hijoueputa

For women you can hear puta, zorra, or at times cabrona for the most vulgar ones.

The real problem is that the masculine form puto is WAY worse because that’s a really offensive slur for gay men, so avoid that one at all costs, it’s about as bad as the other slur for gay men which starts with an M


Additionally, puto/a as an adjective is “fucking” like… es un puto idiota “he’s a fucking idiot”, or es una puta idiota “she’s a fucking idiot”

Some countries in Latin America (I think it’s more Central America like Mexico) will use pinche for “fucking” so… es un/a pinche idiota “he/she is a fucking idiot”

For Spain, pinche is… well, you don’t see it very often in modern Spanish, but la pinche was like “scullery maid”, like a low level servant who worked in the kitchens usually washing dishes. 

Rich Goranski X tall! Reader

Headcanonssss

Requested: yeppers my dude


  • We all know Rich is short
  • You were tall
  • Let’s start of with how you met
  • Okay so he probably knew about you in freshman year, but he was too insecure to talk to you
  • So then he got a squip
  • and he finally had that balls to talk to you!
  • Problem is.. when he approached you, he noticed..
  • You were tall.
  • Like, everybody was taller than him but this kinda shocked him for some reason??
  • He had only been admiring you from afar so he hadn’t expected you to be so t a l l
  • He was like
  • ‘Fuck it, I’ll take a shot’
  • ( he def asks you out on Laser dome as your first date )
  • ((You accept))

  • Fast forward a little bit

  • Rich was now popular and his partner was
  • Drumroll
  • You
  • Okay so he was short
  • We all are aware of that
  • But since you were taller you teased him n o n s t o p
  • “Hey babe” “Jake did you hear anything? I heard a voice” “fuck you I hate you”
  • Rich is so grumpy about you being taller
  • (((((We all know he’s still topping oops))))))
  • But you think it’s hilarious
  • You like, ruffle his hair and treat him like a kid
  • He always uses snarky remarks or dirty idk it depends on his mood
  • “Aweee look at this little boy, he’s so cute I could eat him up” ”How about you use that big mouth of yours for something better than insults?”
  • Or
  • “Go ahead. I’m waiting”
  • B l u s h
  • He always gets so frustrated cause he can’t reach up when he wants to give you a lil smooch
  • You annoy him even more by standing tall
  • He growls and grabs onto your shirt, pulling you down and slamming his lips onto your.
  • He’s standing on his tippy toes
  • He’s so cute
  • You kiss back obvs


  • Lo t s of meme references
  • You both love memes sooo
  • It’s an everyday thing for you
  • Rich, has his whole room covered with memes. Like he just prints them out and puts them everywhere he can
  • It’s art
  • “The floor is lava” “sHIT” *jumps on nearest lunch table*
  • Rich loves too many memes like even the offensive ones
  • Once he said an offensive joke with a slur in it which really offended you
  • You got kind of quiet and glanced down
  • He quickly apologized and made up to it by watching moves and c u d d les


  • Also after the squip goes away you adore his lisp
  • He becomes really good friends with Michael cause they’re both memers fight me
  • That’s all
  • I love Rich



((JDKSJSJS SORRY IT SUCKS FUCK

So I’m opening up voice commissions until further notice! This is the first time I’ve done voice work commissions so we’ll see how this goes and hopefully have a fun little time.

I’ll be able to record character lines, personal messages, narration, and stuff of a similar nature!

Here are some very small snippets of voice work I’ve done in the past so you can get an idea of a portion of my range and basically how I sound for the most part

My current rates (all in USD):

There will be a base of $20 for a single paragraph. Any added paragraphs will cost $10 each

I am offering to edit the audio if necessary, instead of just sending the raw audio file, however having me personally edit the files will cost about half of the initial recording cost (So basically just $10 extra for one paragraph and then $5 for every paragraph added on)

If a line is particularly short, I am willing to work with you to determine a cheaper price for the recording, but I will have final say in whether or not the line will allow a cheaper price or if it stays at the $20 base price.

I will request payment first, and then after it has gone through you will receive the lines ASAP.

Some guidelines as to what to avoid in your commission requests, as I will NOT do these:
- NSFW Content
- Lines that include slurs or offensive/hateful speech towards anyone.
And as there are plenty of other possibilities for requests that will make me uncomfortable, I reserve the right to refuse ANY commission that I need to, for any reason. 

If you are interested, you can contact me at rosefamilycomics@gmail.com with the details of your commission! Thank you for your consideration!

How to Fight Fair

As a person who participates fairly often in discourse, I see a lot of people (on all sides) who just don’t know how to debate online in a clean and fair way. So, to hopefully make The Discourse™ a tad more bearable, here’s Mod Oriole’s guide to Fighting Fair Behind a Screen.

1. Know when it’s time to step up

A lot of discourse is just knowing when it’s time to actually say things and open up to debate. When you see a post and feel the urge to respond take a second to examine it, and then think about how. If it’s misinformation such as ”It’s canon that this character is this sexuality” then you can step in and correct them: “Actually, canon has never confirmed nor denied that this character is anything”. That’s all you have to say, no more no less.

While I know it can be hard to resist responding to posts that just say ‘[Insert thing here] is disgusting’, please understand that it’s probably just the OP venting and even if you don’t agree with them they’re still allowed to vent about things they don’t like. Just block and move on, it’s not worth it.

Also, keep in mind that there is a fair amount of trolling on tumblr. It can be hard to summarize trolls as they come in many different shapes and sizes, but the easiest way to recognize them is how extreme their posts are. Generally if a person uses an obscene amount of slurs or harasses people they’re most likely a troll. Report, block, tell other people to avoid them, then move on. They are looking for attention and if you respond you’re giving it to them. They aren’t worth it.

2. Know when it’s time to step down

Generally an argument only ends when one person blocks another, but usually the argument has been drawn out much longer than it ever should have been with no side making gaining any ground. It can be just as hard to know when it’s time to stop the discourse as it is to know when to start it. I generally say that when one side responds only with an insult like ‘you’re so disgusting for doing this’ or ‘wow I can’t believe I read this with my own eyes’ or ‘sure jan’, I know that the argument is over and it’s time to pack up. Clearly one of you has nothing left to say and has resorted to picking apart the other person to shame them. It’s like the ‘Only Fight For 2 Minutes’ rule with couples. You make all your points in the first few minutes (or in this case posts) and after that it’s just bitching and sarcasm. It’s time to block and move on.

3. Respect your opponent… no matter what

If you decide that just because you disagree with a person that you have the right invalidate them in some way (misgendering them, using offensive slurs, harassing them) then you have automatically lost the debate. I really don’t care if you think their gender identity is fake, you’re not going to achieve jackshit by disrespecting them. People have inherent dignity that you cannot take away in the name of The Discourse™. The minute your opponent starts to disrespect you do not continue the debate. Block them and move on with your life. You don’t want to associate with that kind of stuff anyways.

If you intentionally misgender someone or use slurs against them, that just gives them ammunition against you.

4. Know the facts (and the law)

Before you engage in discourse, know what the Fuck you are talking about. Factual evidence is the only way you will look remotely credible. You’re gonna look like a real asshole if you try to start shit and can’t find anyway to support your arguments. Nobody runs into battle without their sword. Bookmark resources, double check screenshots by going to the person’s blog, make sure the laws you are citing are up to date.

Since we’re on the subject of legal matters, make sure you look into laws from other countries and not just your own. The laws in America are not the same as the ones in the UK, Japan, China, Australia, or any other country for that matter, and furthermore there are always exceptions that you should make yourself aware. Arguing the law is a pretty concrete argument as it’s hard to talk around something illegal, but if you’re going to use it as a defense you’ve gotta be 100% certain on every minute detail.

If your discourse pertains to fandoms, know what is and what isn’t canon, and by canon I mean explicitly stated or occuring in the show. Sometimes guidebooks (yes Voltron fandom I’m looking at you) and other fun extras aren’t actually made by the official show runners and therefore are not considered canon content. It’s also important to pay very close attention to the exact wording of interviews at cons, and never expect everything an actor or voice actor says (again, straight at you Voltron fandom) to be canon. They can be insights into canon, but they are not canon. Canonical arguments are just like legal ones in that they are solid sources of truth, but I’ve seen a lot of people try to treat head canons and ‘it’s x coded’ as canon when it’s not.

Another thing for fandoms, people are allowed to disagree and find fault with your head canons. They are allowed to rant (in their own posts) about it, they are allowed to have different head canons, they are allowed to find your head canon personally offensive. That being said, they are never allowed to bash other people for support said head canon, ever. It’s a fanon concept, it’s not canon, it doesn’t matter. You can make your own post about why you think this head canon is wrong, but you can’t yell at people for having that head canon. Again, you will look like a huge asshole.

5. Do not whip out your emotional baggage in a fight…

…unless you’re giving perspective on a topic. Certain aspects about you can be used in arguments, but only state them when you need to. If the discourse in question is not relevant to your sexual orientation, please don’t say ‘Well as a bi person I think that the Protestant Reformation was the result of the Catholic Church’s actions and strict rules’. You could be as right as rain, and it wouldn’t matter. It is more appropriate to use your experiences when the debate floats to similar spheres of existence. For example, as a CSA I have a unique perspective on how shipping impacts things, but I probably wouldn’t whip that fact out unless the person I was debating with was talking ages. A good time to bring it out is when a person talks about how content is perceived from a CSA survivor’s eyes. As a CSA survivor, I can weigh in here about my own experiences.

6. …and recognize that your experiences only pertain to you…

If you are a person with a unique view point on a situation because of your experiences, then you can use that to express how a certain thing affects you personally. Full stop. You don’t speak for everyone in your group and shouldn’t try to. Everybody lives their lives with their own view point and their own perfectly valid perspectives on a situation. I would never dream of saying I know what’s best for every CSA survivor, and you probably shouldn’t either especially if you aren’t one.

7. …and respect your opponent’s perspective…

If your opponent is in the same minority group you are, your argument is not just null and void, and for the love of all things sane don’t turn it into a competition to see who has it worse. Just listen to their views and soak it in and think about it. It’s important to know the thoughts of other people in your community regarding these issues.

8. … and know that sometimes people just really don’t care.

It sucks, but sometimes people genuinely don’t care about your experiences. When you encounter these people, block and move on. They are not worth your time or energy.

9. Don’t send anon hate, make death threats, harass others, humiliate others in posts, etc.

If you do… well congratulations!

You’re a fucking asshole.

It costs $0.00 to be a decent human being and you are failing miserably.

10. Be aware of your mental state.

This should go without saying, but if you can’t participate in discourse without breaking down regularly, you shouldn’t take part in the discourse. Please download xKit to avoid triggers as well. Take breaks and don’t let it take over your entire life.

11. Keep your sources as real as possible

When you see somebody saying something happened, get the proof directly from the source. Screenshots can be faked, and unsourced reports are NOT valid arguments. Always document things with archive websites as well as screenshots.

12. Realize it’s not about converting people

At the end of the day discourse is not about instant conversion. Discourse is supposed to create a dialogue that will open others to new ideas and get them thinking. People have to come to realizations on their own, you will not be able to convince others right away. Keep that in mind.

Aight, I think that’s everything, mod Ori out.

make happy starters.

“the world is not funny.”

“we are all dying.”

“the world is not funny: Guy Fieri owns two functioning restaurants.”

“entertainers are not here to help you, they are here to control you.”

“never listen to them.”

“never give them what they want.”

“if you can divide by zero let me hear you say ‘hell yeah!’”

“don’t be pavlovian. I’m looking for actual answers here.”

 “pot is ruining America.”

“yeah we got a room full of pot heads, we’re gonna need back up.”

“I have no idea what’s going on over there.”

“what are they fighting about?”

“they have similar hats.”

“I can’t wrap my mind around exactly why I’m here.”

“I just hope I don’t get more from this than you do.”

“I would love to tell you that everything is fine.”

“you wanna be happy? well get in line.”

“yeah this is almost musically incoherent at this point.”

“y’all ain’t never seen a comedy show like this in your fucking lives, and for good reason: it get’s old after a while.”

“so I was at the dentist the other day, and nothing funny happened so I was like ‘don’t mention that on stage’”

“I already fucked it up.”

“I love you!”

“haters gonna hate, lovers gonna love. you need to reject both ends of the spectrum to leave a healthy middle.”

“I love the idea of you.”

“stop participating.”

“I’m trying to immortalize something I’ve worked on for a long time, shut up!”

“I have not made my mind up about masturbation, because, on one hand it feels good…”

“did you not think I was gonna use it, idiots?” 

“it’s not a prop.”

“I’ve got a lot of problems in my life, so I wrote a song about some of the problems in my life.”

“I got no one to talk to.”“If I could change don’t you think that I’d do it?”

“God only knows why he cursed me to be a straight, white man.”

“I state my problems, other people roll their eyes.”

“I’ve never been the victim of a random search for drugs, but you can’t say my life is easy until you’ve walked a mile in my Uggs.”

“the gays want kids… what?”

“can’t you just leave us alone? Also, no, to the things you asked for.”

“they’re being greedy and they know it.”

“everyone thinks that I’ve got it easy and just cause it’s true, doesn’t mean that it’s right.”

“give me a chance to show you what it is like to be a straight, white man.”

“my wife bought me the brand new iPhone… with and iPod Touch’s case, the case doesn’t fit that phone!”

“we used to have all the money and land, ans we still do but it’s not as fun now.”

“white guys invented everything but peanut butter, I believe, that’s what I was taught in school.”

“it doesn’t sound right but the american educational system having a racial bias? no way, joseph.”

“put the lights down, their faces creep me out.”

“why is it that when a woman wears revealing clothing, she’s labeled a slut yet if I were to wear her skin as a jacket I’m a murder?”

“that wasn’t clever it was just mean.”

*singing* “you’re a faggot! you’re a faggot! you’re a fucking faaaggot!”

“ —why was it on a record player? You know it’s one thing to make that, but to press it onto vinyl is a whole other thing. that’s gonna outlive me.”

“just to be clear I wrote, conceived and executed the entirety of that bit, do not give those dumb fucks any credit.”

“two examples is enough.”

“a lesser comedian would have milked that for four verses, and a better comedian wouldn’t have done it at all.”

“tomorrow is a relative term, we’re not getting there… which make’s ‘Annie’ more depressing.”

“fuck you! you don’t know where I’m going, don’t act like it! you are not ahead of me!”

“honesty is for the birds, baby.”

“that’s textbook pandering.”

“I hope my southern charm offsets all of these rape-y vibes I’m puttin’ out.”

“they’re lying to you, that’s all.”

“you deserve better. I’m not saying I’m it, but I’m the guy that says you deserve better, you go get better and you say ‘thank you weird man, bye’”

“it’s the end of culture! culture’s over, everybody, we lost!”

“I saw a gorgeous… dick.”

“yeah, ‘wooo’ that sadness out.”

“you might think this guy only exists in your mind, but guess what? you’re right.”

“if you want love, lower your expectations.”

“Prince Charming would never settle for you.”

“If you want love, just pick a guy/girl and love him/her.”

“If he’s got a thing for feet say ‘fuck it, sweep me off them.’”

“the good thing is, at least men have very real expectations for women …he said, sarcastically.”

“you might think this girl only exists in your mind, but she’s real– but last week, she died.”

“you might think your dick is a gift, I promise it’s not.”

“but we all deserve love, even on the days when we aren’t our best. ‘cause we all suck, but love can make us suck less.”

“it’s the very best part of being alive, and I would know, I just turned twenty-five.”

“original does not mean good.”

“I don’t wanna get political because I only know my ideas of other people’s ideas.”

“mother fucker’s got moving candles!”

“are you drunk? have you been drinking again? you’re fucking wasted, aren’t you?”

“what’s behind your back? what are you holding behind your back?”

“that’s… mayonnaise. that is a jar or mayonnaise, that is not peanut butter. why are you holding a jar of mayonnaise?”

“touche, bitch.”

“no, no I WILL have to clean it up, because you’ll make it worse if you try.”

“this is what I deal with man, this is what I deal with Monday through… Monday.”

“guys I was at the store recently and –no, i’ll save you time… I bought something.”

“they’re not sponsoring me I’m just trying to get them to.”

“they like to kick you when times get rough, and you give your all, but it’s not enough.”

“sticks and stones might break your bones but words can break your heart.”

“if you don’t know where to go I’ll tell you where to start: kill yourself.”

“kill yourself! it’ll only take a minute, you’ll be happy that you did it!”

“just go over to your oven and stick your head in it.”

“just grab a mug and chug a cup of lighter fluid.”

“I feel like you’ve pulled back, maybe it’s on account of the face I’m telling you to kill yourself over and over.”

“life’s toughest problems don’t have simple answers.”“get it through your head – ‘it’ being a bullet.”

“I don’t like explaining jokes but the one where I tell everyone to kill themselves might deserve an explanation.”

“if you’re offended, do not right a blog, I apologize immediately. SORRY! right away!”

“take your pants off!”

“do not objectify me. you think it’s okay just ‘cause I’m a dude?”

“you think it’s okay because he’s a dude?”

“life is not always rock and roll.”

“it’s over. we shouldn’t fight to stay together, just to fight again.”

“we need to take a break from us to make us right again.”

“when the dust has settled I hope we can still be friends.”

“eat a dick!”“I think I made the right decision.”

“okay, you’re angry. I can see that, but you don’t have to make this harder than it has to be.”
“honestly are you fucking five?”

“I’m saying how I’m feeling, and then you’re saying ‘eat a dick’ over and over again.”

“see I think the issue is I got my father’s temper and I’m emotionally inarticulate so rather than being honest and vulnerable I did a quick switch ‘cause I’m hurt inside and I’m trying to hide it so-” *crying* “eat a dick bitch!”

“I didn’t think you’d cry for me. I didn’t think you cared.”

“I thought you were lashing out in anger, but now I see you’re scared. I’m scared too.”

“maybe we can work this out and not break up.”

“you think three lousy tears offsets three years of shit?”

“I deserve better than you.”

“stay out of it!”

“it’s a very diverse crowd –I mean more European than I had hoped.”

“I had a privileged life, AND I got luck, AND I’m unhappy.”

“And now you’re thinking, ‘how the fuck are you gonna dig yourself out of this weird hole?’”

“oh you want me to be funny AND make a point?”

“he talked about his problem: race… power… his $90 t-shirts weren’t selling very well, that was most of it.”

“I’ll be honest, my problems are not as high-stakes as Kanye’s.”

“I can’t fit my hand inside a Pringles can. I have a huge amount of trouble fitting my hand inside of Pringles can. I can get my hand like four inches into the can but then I have to tilt the can into my mouth but by that point a bunch of crumbs have accumulated at the bottom of the can and they all go spilling onto my face.”

“what I’m trying to say is the diameter of a Pringle can is way to small.”

“I wanna have a daughter. I wanna have a daughter so I can finally have someone around the house that can fit their hand inside of Pringles can– Yes I am still on the Pringle cans thing. Yeah, I’ll move on, but that is priority numero uno.”

“I don’t go to the gym because I’m self conscious about my body, but I’m self conscious about my body because I don’t go to the gym. Irony can be so painful.”

“I went to Chipotle. Got myself a chicken burrito. I went down the line, I got like all these ingredients and then at the end of the line the guy tried to wrap the burrito but have of the shit inside spilled out and he still tried to wrap it and I was like ‘dude you warned me. you’re a burrito expert, you should’ve told me halfway through ‘hey man you might be reaching maximum burrito capacity here.’ do you think I want a messy burrito? no one wants a messy burrito.”

“the whole appeal of the burrito is that all of the ingredients are contained within the confines of the tortilla. I wouldn’t have gotten half this shit if I knew it wasn’t gonna fit in the burrito.”

“I’m okay with small mistakes like if you got no more chicken I’ll take pork but I’ll blow my dad before I eat a burrito with a fork.”

“I can sit here and pretend like my biggest problems are Pringles cans and burritos.”

“the truth is my biggest problem is you. I wanna please you, but I wanna stay true to myself.”

“I wanna give you the night out you deserve.”

“I wanna say what I think, and not care what you think about it.”

“A part of me loves you, a part of me hates you, a part of me needs you, a part of me fears you.”

“I don’t think that I can handle this right now.”

“come and watch the skinny kid with the steadily declining mental health and laugh as he attempts to give you what he cannot give himself.”

“I hope you’re happy.”

“on a scale from one to zero: are you happy?”

“you’re on your own from here.”

“what the fuck kind of question is ‘am I happy’?”

“I really wanna try to get happy, and I think that I could get it if I didn’t panic every time I’m unhappy.”

“oh, god, my dad was right.”

“you’re everything you hated. are you happy?”

anonymous asked:

The Westboro Baptist Church is going to picket Ed Sheeran's concert on the 29th. :/

Yeah, a few of them show up for every concert at the Sprint Center. They’ve picketed Ed’s events there before. They only stay for a few minutes to try to rile people up, and then they leave.

Here’s the thing to remember about this hate group: They do these “protests” to make money. They make money by trying to get you to lose your temper and do something they can sue you for. That’s literally all this scam is. The entire group is made up of members of the same family - there’s about 70 of them in all - and it was founded by a lawyer (who was disbarred for lack of ethics) who went on to convince 11 of his children to become lawyers as well. They apply for protest permits, and if a city refuses, they sue. If the police refuse to protect them, they sue. If you get mad and punch one of them, they sue. If you attack them verbally, they sue. And they win thousands of dollars off of these civil cases every year, enough to pay the whole family to keep doing it. And since they’ve labeled themselves a religious group, they’re classified as non-profit and get tax breaks like real churches. It’s a sick way of playing the system, but they don’t actually believe the stuff they’re saying; they just say it because using offensive slurs and telling you that God hates you is statistically the best nonviolent way to get you to attack them, and then they can take your money by claiming their first amendment rights. 

The best thing we as citizens can do about these people is make it unprofitable for them to continue what they’re doing, which means ignore the shit out of them. If you attend an event they’re picketing, walk by and don’t even look at them. If you call out to them or try to make them mad by flaunting whatever it is they’re protesting against at the time (usually it’s homosexuality, but sometimes it’s patriotism or support of the military or some other hot-button issue), it’s not really going to bother them because they don’t actually care about the things they protest – they just do it because they know YOU care – and you may end up causing a scene in which someone could end up getting sued. Which just benefits them. In fact, it’s better not to even talk about the fact that these people are going to show up somewhere, because if people know they’re going to show up, they might try to plan some way to piss them off, and that’s just falling for the scam. That’s why Westboro posts their picket schedule online. They want you to know where they’ll be, and they want you to get upset over it because then you’re more likely to react in a way that could make them some money. They’re just playing you. They’re real life trolls. 

I will tell you one thing about them that’s kind of amusing, though… A couple of years ago, they called Ed a “baby-faced pimp.” How funny is that? Baby-faced pimp! I can’t think about that without grinning. xD