offending no one

anonymous asked:

i just got back from oral surgery (tooth removal, still very sore!) and i was wondering if you would do da2 companions react to hawke winding up with a bad toothache?

(Sorry to hear that, Anon– that bites.)

Varric: Toothaches are a pain, no pun intendd, and the dwarf has been in his friends shoes before. Depending on how far into their cus the two of the are, Kirkwalls resident author may be in a slightly too helpful mindset. A string wrapped around the offending tooth and tied to one of Bianca’s bolts is partially effective, though the copious bleeding afterwards makes a run to Anders an Darktwon necessary.

Isabela: Of all the companions, or at least thouse without magical or medical training, the pirate is the best suited to handle this particular situation. A bad tooth can be deadly if left untreated, and being at sea can make it hard to fix such problems conventionally. The hilt of a dagger beneath the tooth in question pops the offending cuspid free, and the problem is handily solved.

Merrill: Removing the tooth seems  a tad extreme to her particularly as its a good way to end up with no teeth ovrtime. A flash of magic is all it takes to solve the problem, and her gentle and patient chair side demeanor will quickly make the Dalish mage a go-to dentist.

Anders: Honestly, friends like his are the best hands on healer training avaliable. If Hawke comes before shenanigans begin the tooth problem is solved with very little fuss. If they come in after a bungled attempt at extraction- and with subsewuent injuries following such foolishness- it’s a slightly larger issue, and he spends it lecturing them about the importance of proper hygiene and correct healing techniques. And gives them a manifesto for good measure.

Sebastian: As both a brother and a warrior Starkhaven’s prince is not unfamiliar with mouth and jaw issues. But as someone who has also ried to fix such problems himself he wil be quick to urge caution and go to a professional– or at the very least try to numb the area before doing anything drastic. And Maker preserve them, make sure they go for the right tooth!

Fenris: Fenhendis, what is he to know about tooth aches? In Tevinter slaves re expected to suffer in silence, and in those rare times when medical assistance was required is was often magical and often administired without his consent or even awareness. If alcohol is involved the idea is floated by -and possibly utilized, if they are too far gone- to call on his lyrium powers. There will almost certainly need to be professional intervention afterwards.

Bethany: For most of her early life it had been Malcom who had taken care of the family medical needs. But Bethany had learned at his knee, and picked up more besides over the years. Should her sibling develop a problem she will fix it with relative ease.

Carver: Can this be an excuse to punch his sibling? Because that seems reasonable to him.

Aveline: Like she would with any of her guardsman, the captain marches Hawke right to a healer. Such things should never be left alone to fester, and Maker only knows what their group with get up to unsupervised.

– Mod Fereldone

Thinkin about that anon who asked why they were blocked when they’re just a fandom blog, because like… fandom bloggers are actually like the 2nd worst offenders, out of all supposedly ~apolitical~ blog types. Like I’d say a good third of the people I block are people with 10000 su fanart posts and literally 1 single post that just says “there are only 2 genders, that’s science”

The number one offenders hands down are porn bloggers. No surprise there tho

SMALL TALK TIP FOR PEOPLE WHO HATE SMALL TALK: Ask people if they have any pets. This is light and impersonal enough to offend no one. People who have pets are usually pretty excited to talk about them and show off pictures, so there’s a good chance that you will be looking at kitties and doggos. People who don’t have pets will usually talk about the pets they wish they had, or have had in the past. People who neither have nor want pets are pretty rare.

"This Generation is too Sensitive"

Things baby-boomers find and/or found offensive.

1) Someone sitting down during a song

2) Interracial couples

3) People asking police not to execute innocent unarmed people

4) Same-sex couples

5) A black president

6) Black people sitting at the front of the bus

7) People saying “Hey if you could say ‘he’ instead of ‘she’ that’d be super"

8) Black people sitting in the same diner as them

9) People not speaking the same language as them at all times

10) Women’s breasts

11) People having a different religion than them

12) Women working

13) People saying “Happy Holidays”

14) Not being allowed to beat and/or rape their wives

15) Corporations not pandering to their religion

16) Black people attending the same school as them

17) Governments not pandering to their religion

18) Indigenous people having rights

19) People calling racists “racists”

20) People having AIDS

21) People calling homophobes “homophobes”

22) Single mothers

23) Schools teaching science instead of their religion’s dogma

24) Atheists

25) Being told they can’t hit their children

26) The mentally ill not being locked up and tortured

But suuuuuuure this generation is the easily offended one.

It’s on days that I have to fight the hardest to stay alive that I remind myself that maybe, just maybe, it’s the ones who have to fight the hardest that God has the biggest plans for.

  • wattpad fanfic: so he's a serial killer who has fallen in love with me after he kidnapped me but he won't tell me about his dark and tragic past so he turned to drugs and he physically abuses me but it's okay bc we sleep together like every other chapter
  • deviantart fanfic: *inserts an OC into the canon universe*
  • Quotev fantic: my name is [insert author's first name here] Payne/Purdy/Quinn/Fuentes/Barakat/Irwin/ect. and my parents hate me so they're making my brother take me on tour with him and his band and I fell in love with his bandmate who helped me conquer my depression and now I'm pregnant with his baby and my brother wants to kill us both
  • AO3 fanfics: literally the most well-written stories you'll ever have the privilege to read. better than most classic literature. you've read published novels that weren't this beautiful. you feel like a better person after having read this story.
  • fanfics: stories that tried and came close but weren't good enough for AO3
  • tumblr fanfic: *all of the above*

you leave prometheus thinking shaw and david are otp and leave covenant realizing walter and daniels are the true otp

How Dan and Phil probably broke up #23
  • Dan: Phil you left all the cupboard doors open again
  • Phil: godDANit

@camilaart according to your logic, apparently retard means stupid.

here’s other words you could have used against the person who had done you wrong instead of the ableist slur:

  • stupid
  • dumb
  • feebleminded
  • empty-headed
  • idiotic
  • foolish
  • mindless
  • inconsiderate
  • thoughtless

you used retard in an offensive manner, therefore, it is offensive. even though your fans don’t claim to be hurt by it, other people are and they’re literally asking you to apologise. one simple apology yet you’re defending yourself nevertheless.