off to take a cold shower

do u ever really think about the Holy Grail filming though

  • the primary camera which had been specially designed broke on their very first day of filming so everything was delayed as hell while they sourced a new one
  • they couldn’t get Scotland to let them use its National Trust castles so they ended up using the same one for every single fucking castle and/or used paper cutouts
  • the only reason they used the music they did was because after a whole fucking soundtrack had been written they realised their budget didn’t actually expand to an orchestra, so they used stock music and the only actual original Python song in the whole deal is Knights Of The Round Table
  • Graham had delirium tremens during his very first take, suddenly realised and admitted that he was an alcoholic, and was consequently hammered out of his brain for the remainder of filming so he wouldn’t go into the DTs again
  • as a result of this he constantly picked fights with the other Pythons, extras and random hotel staff
  • and constantly forgot half his lines
  • and ran ass naked up and down hotel corridors yelling “Betty Marsden” until Michael asked him to stop so he could sleep (and so Michael then woke up to a note pushed under his door reading “with love, Betty Marsden”)
  • but miraculously still no one realised Gray’s drinking was making him so ill and so Michael’s diaries are full of random excuses for why he was shaking his ass off every morning (“we were up v high today I think Gray was scared” “I didn’t think it was that cold but Graham was shivering” “gosh tensions are running so high Gray was so mad with us he was literally shaking”)
  • the Terrys tried to codirect and fell out over literally everything
  • and consequently constantly reshot each other’s takes behind the other’s back
  • John kept getting upset because he doesn’t like being dirty and/or cold and they were in fucking Scotland and “there wasn’t enough hot water for a shower”
  • John and Eric consequently switched hotels from the rest of the cast and crew so John could get his fucking shower
  • they were all wearing knitted “armour” and I reiterate this was fucking freezing wet Scotland so they all froze half to death and had to keeping shooting anyway
  • and John got so pissed at Terry Gilliam’s directing style (“treating us like pieces of paper”) that he eventually essentially told him to fuck off, so filming was delayed even further so Terry G could go and be offended and cry and sulk by a wall

the highest grossing British comedy film of all time, everyone.

hades is the smell of the cold winter mornings, the smell of the pavement after it has rained, and the lingering scent left on your clothes after a camp fire. he holds your hand as you cross the street, watches the moon with you, and is sitting beside you on long car rides. he is both the coldness of your room at night and the warmth of your bed after a long day.

aphrodite is the smell of rose petals and your newest fragrance. she is the smell of the fog after a nights rain and the odour given off while romantic sex is taking place. she is the taste of your lovers lips and the feeling of your own skin after a shower. she is the butterflies in your stomach, and always has your name on the tip of her tongue. she is the one who sends you your next relationship and ends the bad ones. 

poseidon is the smell of the moist air as the water rolls over the rocks near a lake. he is the smell of the mud in a play ground and the scent of your newest body wash. he’s the one who stares back at you as you stare beyond the horizon of the sea. he is the feeling you get when you jump into a pool after being in a hot tub or sauna. 

apollo is the smell of breakfast cooking in the morning and wet wood. he is the split second of pain in your eyes from the light after being in the dark for long periods. he is the summers day spent at a park, and the excitement of remembering lyrics of your new favourite song.

artemis is the natural smell of your hair. she is both the smell of bark on a tree and your fingers after picking up a wet rock. she gives you grass stains on your pants, and blows your hair in the wind. she finds your favourite places to go and guards your place to sit. 

ares is the smell of your sweat. he smells like sand and is the scent of your father. he feels like slate and the pain of a bruise. he is the one who pushes you that one extra step, and forces you to lose your cool.

zeus smells like fire. he smells like the cold wind and your freshly washed sheets. he is the one who makes your heart pound and is the one who triggers your anxieties. he is the booming of loud music and the cracking of the floor boards at night. he watches you as you walk home in the rain.

- anonymous author 

Soulmate AU Ideas

Imagine a soulmate au where whenever your soulmate listens to music, you can hear it too and the only way you can find them is when the music they’re listening to gets louder the closer you are to them.

Imagine a soulmate au where you can taste the things that they are eating or drinking and the only way you can find them is to find the places that serve that same kind of food or drink they’re eating/drinking.

Imagine a soulmate au where the heart in your chest is your soulmate’s and you can feel whatever they’re currently feeling and the only way you can find them is when it stops beating. Kind of like taking the “When I first met you, I swear I could feel my heart stop beating” literally.

Imagine a soulmate au where your level of talent at a hobby determines on how close you are to your soulmate.

Imagine a soulmate au where your dreams are a mixture of your soulmate’s past and present memories and the only way you know that you’ve met them is when you see yourself.

Imagine a soulmate au where everyone is given a book at birth with no pages in it and the only way the pages begin to magically appear is when they are finally born. Each chapter is linked to your soulmate’s age and the pages within that chapter represent a day of their life with a small collection of things that they have said throughout the day. The only way you will know that you’ve met your soulmate is when the pages stop appearing and the last thing that was said on the last page is actually the first word or sentence that they said to you.

Imagine a soulmate au where you’re given a necklace that changes to the colors of what they’re currently feeling and the temperature is linked to how close you are to them. For example, nothing being very far away, cold being closer, and warm being they’re right in front of you. But, whenever they take the necklace off of them, the connection is lost and you won’t know what they’re feeling or if you’ve even met each other.


Just a collection of ideas I thought of while I was in the shower :)


When Bucky comes home, the apartment is empty, which, admittedly, isn’t exactly what he had been expecting.

For as long as Bucky’s known him, Steve has never once failed to greet him when he’d get home on his birthday. Not back in Brooklyn, and certainly not since Bucky came back to live with the guy here in the Twentieth century.

Steve takes birthdays very seriously. Even when he shouldn’t – something Bucky has experienced first hand, more than once. Like that time Steve had insisted on baking him a birthday cake, despite the fact that Steve’s the kind of guy who can’t even boil water successfully. The mere memory makes Bucky’s throat constrict, and he quickly pushes the thought away before it can grow all too vivid.

He sets his bag down by the door and toes off his shoes. It’s a weird rule, but he knows that Steve will throw a minor fit if Bucky walks in with his boots on – especially seeing as it has been pouring rain all day long.

Bucky’s jacket is still dripping a little as he hangs it up. He pulls his metal fingers through his hair, knowing that it’s wet, even though the sensation registered by his nerve endings doesn’t translate exactly the same way as it would have with his other hand. It’s still an odd feeling. Tony’s been working hard on this new sensory module for his arm, and so far, Bucky is now able to actually feel a whole range of different things compared to what he had been before. Heat, cold, and pressure had always been there, but the little things… Those are what throw him off, still.

Like being able to feel the rain, for example. Which had been the reason why he’d decided to walk home in the first place, rather than take a cab – with the left sleeve of his jacket pulled up all the way to the elbow, just because he could.

The rain is his favorite sensation so far, and he’s already relishing in the thought of the similar, falling water in the shower he’s going to take in a matter of minutes, when he spots the Post-It note that’s been stuck to the center of the hallway mirror.

It’s in Steve’s handwriting – soft and curvy – and Bucky tugs it from the mirror with a curious frown. The note says a single word.

“Kitchen”

Keep reading

More langst

Lance used to self harm. He’s stopped, in a way. He doesn’t leave scars anymore. But he hates the ones he does have.

His long sleeved shirts and sweaters hide them good enough.

But when he showers, he looks at him arms. The scars are ugly and look so bright and apparent to him. So he scrubs at his skin until it hurts. His skin is red and he still scrubs. Sometimes he’ll scratch, hoping the red lines he leaves don’t become scars.

Sometimes the scars don’t bother him in the shower. But the urge to self harm is so strong, he feels it wrap itself around him like a weighted blanket. He doesn’t want to leave marks, so he’ll turn off the cold water. His skin is burning and he crumples up against the heat. He’s about to move but freezes.

“I deserve this.”

He lets the water burn him as he stands there. As the water starts to turn cool, he turns it off. He looks at the fogged mirror and sees his silhouette.

He takes a deep breath in and clenches his fists. His nails digging into his skin but he does nothing. He holds himself back from doing worse to himself.

When he tried to sacrifice himself to save someone in battle, he does so in the hope of finally doing something worthwhile. Of him FINALLY being useful.

When he makes jokes and knows that they are usually ignored or just seen as annoying, he hopes that even if he’s seen in a bad light, they at least remember him.

Because growing up in a big family, a lot of the times whenever his sisters or brothers or parents told a story they’d forget he was with them. They’d forget he was there with them, and if they did remember, it was usually in the terms of “me and someone else, can’t remember who-” and that hurts.

“Am I really that replaceable? Am I that forgettable?” His insecurities started from a young age so he doesn’t care if he’s seen in a good light or a bad light. As long as someone remembers him.

So it hurts when Keith has no idea who the hell he is. Because maybe he is that replaceable and forgettable.

He get jealous of the way everyone seems so close. He’s jealous of how Shiro and Keith’s closeness. He’s jealous of Pidge and Hunk. He’s jealous of Allura and Coran. He has no one. Just…. Himself.

He knows he does it to himself. He doesn’t want to tell people the problem but sometimes he wishes that they’d care enough to ask. Or even notice that his smiles don’t always reach his eyes.

And it hurts when the other paladins don’t really want to hang out with him. It hurts when he stays in his room by himself for days and no one really notices.

He picks his face. He can’t help it. If he has a blackhead, he’ll pick at the skin until his finger nails have blood on them. He feels a bump and honestly it’s nothing. But he picks at it anyways. Some days when he feels like he’s breaking out, he’ll pull out his face masks. They make him feel better but he only has so much left so he uses them sparingly.

One day after he has a break down, he just can’t pull himself back. He uses the face mask. He can’t help but have a burning shower. On this day, he actually wipes the foggy mirror, staring at himself. The bags under his eyes seem to be darker than normal to him. His skin has steam coming off of it.

“Have I looked like this for a while?”

He wishes Hunk had never grew apart form him. It wasn’t s huge change, honestly the only thing that changed was him. He felt like he was holding Hunk back from making better friends.

Hunk still cares for him. He just thinks that Lance is pushing him away, wants his own space. Thinking it’d be best to let Lance deal with whatever he’s dealing with and coming around to him later, Hunk doesn’t seek him out.

Keith noticed. He noticed since they first met. And it annoyed him. “How can he just pretend everything is fine when it’s not? How can he be so fake?” It’s one of the reasons Keith doesn’t like him. But as things get worse, he starts to back off. He’s worried, but how the hell do you approach someone?

Pidge notices Lance is a little off. She doesn’t say anything, not knowing what exactly is going on or how to help him out. So she hopes someone who knows will help him.

Shiro doesn’t notice. Honestly, he has so much going on he doesn’t notice half the shit going on between the paladins. Same with Allura.

Coran though. He sees how Lance is hurting. He tries to help, he really does. He asks Lance how he’s doing but he keeps brushing him off. “I’m fine, how are you Coran?” Is the usual answer.

Lance thinks he hides it so well. And true, if you weren’t around him a lot, you’d never notice. But they do notice. He just doesn’t know.

So his vicious cycle continues. And he feels utterly alone. And remembering they’re in space makes it worse.

Marked (M)

Originally posted by pjmjjk

Werewolf!Jungkook x Reader

Halloween Drabble Series

JIN (M) | YOONGI | HOSEOK | NAMJOON (M) | JIMIN | TAEHYUNG

Summary: you were in heat, Jungkook didn’t know.

A/N: This is my fic. I am re-posting onto my sideblog.


Growing up as a werewolf was hard. Growing up as a female werewolf without a pack was impossible. You had a pack that you were good friends with and asked for help and advice from, but that’s as far as it went, for now. You have yet to find a mate and enter a pack, and were currently going through heat so you had to stay indoors to avoid any…unwanted situations a.k.a. to avoid fucking random humans and/or wolves in broad daylight. You were holed up in your apartment, skin burning and your third pair of panties for the day, ruined. Walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge, you groaned, realizing that you were officially out of food and had no choice but to go to the store down the street.

You picked up your phone and dialed the Alpha of the pack you knew. Namjoon had always been willing to help you, even though you weren’t technically part of his pack. He had still always called you family.

“Y/n! Hey, how are you? I haven’t heard from you in days!” He cheerily answered, and you smiled to yourself, he always had a way of cheering you up.

“Hey Namjoon, uhm.. Well I kind of have a problem.”

Keep reading

MACDENNIS FIC EXCHANGE! THE TIME HAS COME AT LAST!

A Closet Interlude

Frank needs Mac and Dennis’ help on a new scheme, but tonight is Monthly Dinner Night! They hide in a closet to escape him.

as long as it’s nothing

“two straight men, just chilling” // Mac visits Dennis at college

Bad Communication

text messages from north dakota on assorted subjects. emojis courtesy of mac.

Beacons

In a busy Pennsylvania town in 1984, an outgoing party girl and a badass strike up a powerful bond that seems to defy the laws of time and space.

Lesbian Macdennis San Junipero AU.

Emotionally Involved

When Dennis moved to North Dakota, he moved there to be with his son. But he also moved there to escape his newly found big feelings. This is the story of his return.

Equilibrium

For flourwings, who requested “A fic where Dennis craves touch but no longer feels like he can be physically affectionate with Mac anymore because Mac is out…so instead he comes up with various excuses to "trick” Mac into holding hands, hugging, even sitting shoulder to shoulder or bumping knees, etc.“

A.k.a Dennis is oblivious and completely, absolutely too much and Mac is like a puppy in love.

Fourth of July

Mac and Dennis spend the evening watching fireworks.

Fraudulent Courting: America’s Favorite Pastime

the scheme is as simple as this: pretending to fall in love over and over and over again.

The Gang Fake Dates

Radio Q102 is hosting a cutest couples contest and it’s anyone’s game.
Classic fake dating Chardee vrs Macdennis. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will top? Who will bottom?

The Gang Rebrands

The gang decides to try making Paddy’s a gay bar again. Or, Dennis gets jealous when Mac keeps going out to gay bars and does something about it.

The Golden God

Dennis is the Golden God. Literally. But his worshipers have all abandoned him. Until one day, he finally feels the tug of devotion again.

Home For The Holidays

A year after callously leaving him on his own financially, Dennis’ parents invite him home for Thanksgiving to check up on how the prodigal son is doing. Rather than smile and play nice at the dinner table, Dennis does what any reasonable person would do: Hire a fake date online in an elaborate scheme to get back on his family’s good side.

Inside Baseball

Dennis and Mac are gearing up for their first summer with Brian Jr., their trial run at parenting. The night before the kid’s due to arrive, Mac brings up the Baseball Hall of Fame. He spent his entire childhood dreaming of the day his dad would take him to Cooperstown. That day never came, of course, and Mac still hasn’t gotten over it.

So, naturally, Dennis steals Frank’s credit card, books the presidential suite at the Cooperstown Inn, and buys three tickets for a private, Phillies-themed tour of the Hall of Fame. What could possibly go wrong?

into the fold

Mac Macdonald loves working at Reynolds Ranch even though the double alliteration would make a lesser man quit on the spot. Every summer he brings the flock up to the best pastures on the Snapridge mountains. Normally alone. This summer, Frank Reynolds thinks his own son really ought to get involved with the ranch.

Absolutely no one agrees with this.

Like Home

Five times Dennis and Mac fall asleep together, and one time they don’t.

Mac and Dennis Go to a Toga Party

Just what it says on the tin. Dennis invites Mac to his frat’s toga party, they try to pick up some chicks and make major life decisions.

Mac and Dennis Plan A Wedding

“Jesus Christ, Charlie, this isn’t about banging – it’s about two men, who have been living together for years anyway, taking advantage of government handouts while winning an argument. Don’t cheapen this, okay?”

Mac and Dennis Start A War

The Gang gets whacked, Frank takes off with Dennis’ cash, and Charlie and Dee get the hell out of dodge.

Mac and Dennis have seen enough movies to know what to do next.

(Or: Why Motels, Diners, and Running From the Law are Inherently Gay Things.)

Maybe Just Memories

Dennis has a new life in North Dakota. As a rule, he doesn’t think about the things he left behind. But news from Dee that Mac has since moved on, leads to a painful revelation that Dennis may have made the biggest mistake of his life.

My Only Centerpiece

Dennis’s body is perfect and needs no modifications whatsoever. Especially not glasses.

Nobody but Nobody

Somewhere, away from the apartment, Dee shudders, an image flashing in her head of a freshly-vacuumed carpet stained bright blue. It’s a rare Wednesday night without her in the apartment and Mac and Dennis have pulled out all the stops, committed to taking full advantage of it. They’ve been sitting on the couch for the better part of the past two hours, marathoning Indiana Jones and getting drunk off of the liquor they found hidden in Dee’s closet.

of foie gras and ortolans

"Sometime between when they opened Paddy’s and Dee getting pregnant, Mac- sick, no doubt, of Dennis’s hour long cold showers in the obscene hours of the morning- would come into his room and wrap his arms around Dennis as tight as he could and say Dennis, Dennis. And they would wake up with their arms around each other the next morning and by the time they’d be finished with breakfast everything would be back to normal and they’d never mention it again. And then, after a while, by unspoken agreement, they stopped entirely.

It was one of the things that he hated most about Mac in the daytime, and one of the things he thought about most at night. So, when he gets back from Philly at 1AM and Mac still isn’t in and Dennis falls asleep in what continues to be the only bed in their apartment, it might be out of longing for another one of those long-past, half hazy late nights. It certainly isn’t because he’s expecting to get woken up three hours later, whacked in the face by a pillow wielded by his furious, mesh shirt-clad roommate.”

Pining and Dragons

Dennis bursts in suddenly, wide grin lighting up his face, with a cardboard box balanced in his arms. “You guys are bored, right? Aren’t you bored?”

“So bored, dude…” Mac moans, and Charlie and Dee echo with complaints of their own.

“Well, be bored no longer!” Dennis says, slamming his box down on the bar. It contains a set of weird-looking dice and a heavy packet of paper that says “Dungeons and Dragons: Official Rules” at the top. Dennis grins as the looks of understanding dawn on everyone’s faces.

you pour and i’ll say stop

They make more money than they’ve ever made. Denise’s tips don’t even fit in her wallet. There’s something to this scheme, she thinks, no matter what it is that Dee’s found to grouse about. Scamming lesbians is absolutely the best business model they’ve ever produced.

(A 100% all-lesbian re-imagining of S1E1.)

HOW TO STAY AWAKE IN CLASS
  1. Shower before class. Have a 9 a.m. class? Hop out of bed in the morning and head straight for the shower. It’ll wake you right up! Plus, your classmates will probably thank you.
  2. Bring a water bottle, and drink plenty of H2O. Staying hydrated is a key factor in staying awake. Try putting ice in your water bottle; the     cold water will keep you lively and alert.
  3. Go to the bathroom. Walk off the sleepiness by taking a trip to the bathroom. The process of walking will get the blood circulating again. And don’t forget to take a stretch break while you’re in the hallway.
  4. Bring eye drops. It’s hard to stay wide-eyed and awake when your eyes are dry and irritated from the lack of sleep. When they’re feeling dry, splash a couple drops in them. You’ll feel more refreshed and your eyes will be grateful.
  5. Sit in the front row, or at least in the middle! The closer you are to the professor, the less likely you are to fall asleep due to volume. Not to mention the fear of getting caught dozing off will keep you wide awake!
  6. Take note. If you are daydreaming, eventually that will turn into real dreaming when you fall asleep. It might be hard when you are so tired, but taking notes during class can help keep you awake. It will keep you focused on the class material and less focused on how tired you are.
  7. Pressure points: Two of the best, and conveniently subtle, pressure points to keep you up are your earlobes and wrists.
        For your ear, while it may look like you’re just learning your cheek on your wrist, rub the area right above your lobe (or where a traditional ear piercing would be) between your thumb and index finger. Not only is it a fine motor movement to keep you active, but also invites blood to rush up towards your ear, and therefore, to your head.
        Or putting the inside of your wrists against something cold: the metal bar of your desk, the desktop, your laptop. The pressure point here will keep you awake!
  8. Small, repetitive movements: Foot tapping and chewing gum, just like rubbing the pressure point in your ear, “wakes up” those muscles, returning blood to those areas and reinvigorating your blood circulation.
  9. Hold your breath for a few moments. Every time you feel like you are falling asleep, hold your breath to a count of 100. You will become restless and more wakeful while you hold your breath. When you start breathing again, you’ll feel relieved and awake.
  10. Tap your feet and drum your fingers. Even these slight movements will help get your circulation moving and keep you  from falling asleep.
  11. Avoid consuming too much sugar. Sugar will give you a short     energy boost followed by a prolonged descent into sleepiness. Try a     healthy energy boosting snack instead, for example, carrots. Carrots are a  good energy booster, they’re healthy and won’t drain you of energy.
  12. Snap a hair tie. Okay, this is a weird method but I swear it works for me. Seeing as I always have a hair tie on my wrist, anytime I feel myself falling asleep, I just snap the hair tie against my wrist to keep me awake. It doesn’t really hurt, but it is enough to keep you alert. Next time you feel like snoozing, just try it to see if it works for you.
In the Heart of the Storm (Part 2)

Bucky x Reader

Summary – You are house-sitting for some friends on the Chesapeake Bay in the middle of a hurricane. Unbeknownst to you, you’re not alone. Takes place immediately following the events of Captain America: The Winter Soldier. 

Warnings – Blood, angst, and bondage

Word Count – 1,450

Notes – Writing these suspenseful, angsty fics always gets my emotions running high!  I’m terrified for her and I know what’s going to happen!!  Anyway, enjoy and as always, I appreciate all of your feedback and questions!!!

Part 1  

Series Masterlist

Masterlist

Previously:

You’d just laid back down when you heard another noise from downstairs.  Scared that one of the windows had broken, you grabbed the flashlight and crept down the stairs.  

As far as you could see, none of the windows looked broken, but it wasn’t until you were at the bottom of the stairs that you realized that the back door was standing wide open.  You thought back to this afternoon, but you couldn’t remember if you’d locked it or not.  Deciding that you’d simply forgotten and that the wind had blown it open, you walked over and closed it, turning the lock.

You were just about to turn back around when a hand clamped down hard over your mouth.  You felt the sting of a blade nicking the sensitive skin under your jaw as your head was pulled back.  You dropped the flashlight and as it spun around on the hardwood floors, you could just make out a reflection in the window before you.  The sight of a man, dressed all in black, with long wet hair hanging down in his bruised and battered face and a cold, dead look in his eyes had you trembling in terror.


 

“Don’t scream,” he whispered in your ear as your whole body started shaking in terror.

You started to shake your head, but the knife at your throat reminded you to keep still. “I…I won’t.”

Keep reading

4 days- Grayson Dolan *SMUT*

Author: grethansdolans

Pairing: Grayson x Reader

Requested: Yes

Request: Heyy girl (or boy or neither) I love seeing new imagine blogs for the twins! Can I have a Grayson smut where you make a bet with Gray that he can’t last a week without sex and then proceed to tease him until he snaps 4 days in and hard rough sex ensues with cute cuddles after? Thanks and good luck with the new blog ❤️ 

Warnings: Sex, smut, Grayson Dolan, Dom!Grayson, Sub!reader, rough sex, fluff after sex

A/N: This is my very first Dolan twins/Grayson Dolan imagine/smut. I hope you guys like it!

Originally posted by infinitygarner


You and Grayson both lay in bed panting and trying to collect your breaths. This has been around the 5th time you’ve had sex this week, and it was barely Wednesday. You were starting to think your boyfriend is a sex addict. With this in mind, you wanted to see how long he’ll last without sex.

“Hey babe.” You say getting Grayson’s attention as he turns his head to look at you. “Hmm” He hums in response.

“How long do you think you could last without sex?” You ask him.

“2 weeks, maybe 3 weeks tops. Why?” Grayson questions.

“I think you can barely last a week.” You say with a smirk on your face.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

A new MM headcanon, yay! <3 I hope requests are still open! If not, please forgive me. ^^ Can I please ask for some HC for RFA + Saeran +V for MC feeling exhausted, and falling asleep for the first time on their laps or while cuddling? Thank youuu~ ^^

Requests are definitely still open! <3

YOOSUNG:

  • The two of you are cuddling on the couch, a typical weekday night
  • But it’s been a long day and you are WIPED
  • You’re also a pretty quiet sleeper, though, so he doesn’t notice that you’ve dozed off
  • Until he tries to get up for a glass of water
  • You stir on top of him and mumble something incoherently
  • Oh no, she’s sleeping–
  • He tries again to leave, but you mumble again and pull your arms tighter around him
  • RIP YOOSUNG
  • don’t forget, you’re here forever

ZEN:

  • Zen’s sitting on the couch watching TV, and you come into the room with a can of beer for him
  • Without even thinking about it, you hand him the beer and lie down across his lap
  • He stiffens immediately but you don’t notice
  • Because you’re asleep within moments of planting yourself there
  • “Babe… babe no….”
  • He’s got a vicegrip on that beer can as he stares at the TV, trying hard not to think about The Beast™ or the fact that your head is in his lap
  • “Shit- not now, boner
  • You sleepily complain, but he manages to shift you away from his raging hard-on
  • just take a cold, cold shower, hyun
  • Poor man feels like an absolute wolf

JAEHEE:

  • You two have spent many nights together watching Zen’s DVDs
  • So, really, this had to happen at some point
  • She’s not flustered or anything
  • But she likes watching you sleep with your head in her lap
  • Your face is so serene that it even alleviates some of her own stress
  • She runs her fingers through your hair, gently caressing and massaging your scalp
  • She eventually turns off the DVD
  • She’s found a new stress reliever

JUMIN:

  • You usually spend your evenings together on the couch, talking about your days over a glass of wine
  • You had had a busy day, and Jumin was listening patiently as you laid your head in his lap, empty wine glass on the ground
  • He threaded his hands through your hair as you talked
  • But he noticed that your speech was getting slower, and your eyelids kept drooping
  • “And then… And then he asked me if… if I had the paperwork, and I was like… …. …no, I gave it… I gave it to you…”
  • “Mhmm.”
  • You eventually trailed off into silence, and Jumin looked down to find you sleeping
  • With the patience of a saint he works his way out from under you without waking you up
  • And puts a blanket over you
  • And the softest pillow under your head
  • He brings a blanket for himself and sleeps on the floor
  • so you’d better be prepared for the soreness complaints in the morning

707:

  • You guys are a cuddly couple, so it’s not much of a surprise when you fall asleep on top of him
  • At first Saeyoung does a good job of staying still for you
  • But it reaches a point where he can’t stand it 
  • “Baby, do I have permission to leave?”
  • He doesn’t expect you to answer
  • So when a mumbled “NO” is your response, whether to him or to something in your dream,
  • he is SHOOK
  • “My princess has spoken! Who am I but a humble slave to your will!”
  • His theatrics were wasted, however, because you really were sleeping
  • “No seriously baby please, I need to pee”
  • He eventually picks you up and deposits you on the bed
  • But comes back to keep spooning you once he’s done with his business

SAERAN:

  • *deep breath* this boi
  • You guys aren’t really cuddly. At all.
  • So the first shock is when you lie down in his lap
  • The second shock is when you don’t respond to him saying your name
  • And your deep, steady breaths tell him that you’re fast asleep
  • Poor boy really doesn’t know what to do
  • So he stays there
  • stiff as a board
  • for as long as he needs to
  • on a sadder note he’s probably really used to denying his own personal needs; i.e, having to pee or eat or drink so he will probably literally stay there until you wake up :’((

V:

  • Like with Saeyoung, you two cuddle a lot
  • But this time he’s so warm
  • And the calming tea is working its way through your system
  • And you find yourself dozing off
  • V is content to let you stay there, keeping his arms wrapped around you
  • Rubbing up and down your arms slowly
  • Pressing lazy kisses to your forehead
  • And all gentle enough to avoid waking you
  • as a film person myself let me tell you
  • PHOTOGRAPHERS ARE PATIENT PEOPLE

oh boi this really brought out my inner fluff monster

“She should cut her nails” - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Summary : The men of the Justice League tease Batman about the scratches on his back, and the love bites on his chest…Bruce is not amused.

Just a silly fic cause why not. Wrote it in literally fifteen minutes because I was bored, and didn’t proofread (as usual really) so it’s quite meh, hope you’ll still like it though :

(My master list by the way : right here)

I wrote some sort of part two to this, it’s here if you’re interested : “Bruce…sucks !”

__________________________________________________

Bruce could feel their gaze on his back. He knew they were smiling like idiots behind him, and he heard them giggle a few times, like goddamned teenagers.

He finally turned around to face his fellow Justice League members, that had been staring at him for the past hour. They were in the men shower room of the headquarter, and the fact that they were all half-dressed made them look even more ridiculous, with their idiotic smile on their faces.

Hell, even J’onn was snickering with them ! Bruce would expect from Clark, Oliver, Barry and maybe Arthur to laugh like nitwits, but J’onn ? He thought he was better than this.

And yet, here he was, grinning at the Batman like a moron.

-What ?

Bruce asked a bit coldly, even though he already knew what was going on.

Clark answered, a sly smile on his stupid handsome face :

-We were just wondering…When did you got those scratches on your back ? Like, which villain inflicted you such terrible wounds ?

Bruce rolled his eyes. By now, Barry and Oliver couldn’t hold their laughter, though the look the Bat gave them stopped them cold in their track. Damn that man could be intimidating, even for them…Bruce, glaring at them, went on :

-Are you guys fifteen ?

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Trans* Guide to (Socially) Navigating the Gym

This is a newcomer’s guide to the gym from a social perspective, focused on the trans* experience. This is not a workout program.

This guide draws upon my own FTM experiences, feel free to add your own experiences.

Disclaimer: I live in a diverse city and go to a left-leaning university. My circumstances could be drastically different from yours. Use your best judgement.

The Locker Room

  • Bring a friend (who you’re out to) along, they can affirm or stand up for your identity if anyone questions your presence.
  • Rarely is anyone looking at you while changing, especially in male locker rooms. Find a nice little corner and face the walls, or go to a stall to change. You’d be surprised at how many cis people do the same. I’ve changed tshirts in the locker room while wearing a binder tank after 4 months on T without any problems.
  • You can also try changing in a bathroom that has less traffic first, then walk to the gym. If the weather is cold, wear a hoodie or sweats on top, then take it off at the gym.
  • Avoid going at peak hours if you are uncomfortable, it is more likely that you’ll have to change in close proximity with others.
  • Avoid changing next to old people. They are very comfortable nude and will strike up conversations randomly.
  • I have never showered at the gym, but bring a towel to dry off my sweat, and deodorant to keep the scents fresh.
  • I find boxers to be easier than boxer briefs. If I’m wearing briefs, I either pack, or find a really good corner without people. Packing is personally uncomfortable after a especially hard session, due to shifting and sweating. Boxers sort of hide everything, and I feel comfortable standing in them for a bit to cool off.

The Gym (mostly the weight room)

  • You are NOT the only person who doesn’t know how every equipment works. You can:
    • Ask a staff for help
    • Watch YouTube before your workout. I sometimes pull up exercise videos during my workout to check how a machine works because I’m too introverted.
  • If you don’t like to talk to other people and want to avoid chit-chats:
    • Stare at the equipment as if you’re formulating your workout plan
    • Bring headphones.
  • If someone is at an equipment you want to use, you can ask them “how many sets do you have left”, which means how many more repeats of the exercise they will be doing. A common etiquette is to let you use the machine right after, if you’re hanging around. Be courteous and give the other person room to finish their workout.
  • Don’t walk between mirrors and the people training in front of it.
  • It’s ok to not like looking in your image in the mirror if it triggers dysphoria, but still try to make sure you are performing the exercises correctly by bringing a friend along to form check.

Remember:

  • You are not weak. Everyone starts somewhere. The huge guy in the corner? He was once a lanky teenager. It takes immense dedication and discipline to reach the level you see in the media.
recovering from top surgery

-flannels/button up shirts (flannels if youre doing it in the winter, youll get cold)
-sweatpants (easy to take off by yourself)
-slippers (you dont want to have to tie your shoes trust me)
-dry shampoo, sensitive skin soap (you cant shower for a week this helps)
- laxatives and stool softeners (i started taking stool softeners 2 days before surgery and laxatives 2 days after surgery, you dont want to have to strain)
-something to scratch your back (under your compression vest gets really itchy and youll want to die)
-Benadryl helps with the scratching too^
-a cup with a straw (helps if you dont want to move your arms too much after surgery bc you will be sore)
-oil blotting sheets (my pain meds made my face super oily and its annoying so if you have a problem with that these will help)

Sick Day Tips Masterpost

General Stuff:

  • Drink lots of water and go pee a lot! It’ll help flush out the toxins
  • Make sure to keep your face moisturized. The last thing you want to deal with when your sick is itchy irritated skin 
  • If you have the energy, do some light exercise. It’ll help to invigorate your body
  • Avoid too much screen time D: (sorry that includes tumblr)
  • Try to avoid wearing makeup, or wear as little as possible 

Sore Throat:

  • Drinking Ginger Tea helps a lot :3
  • If you have a clogged/phlegm-y throat, gargling salt water will help (don’t drink it though– you’ll feel even sicker!)
  • Other easy teas are milk and honey or water lemon and honey

Stuffy Nose:

  • Hot showers help get the mucus out
  • As does vapor– fill a bowl with boiling water, then place your head over it with a towel covering your head and try to breathe through your nose. If it gets too hot just take the towel off for a couple of seconds and then continue (this is also great for clearing up the clogged pores in your face! :D)
  • When you go to bed, stack your pillows so that your head is elevated
  • Remember: Eyes, nose, and mouth are connected- so if you have a cold and wear contacts, its best to avoid wearing them if you can. You want to keep those three outlets as free as possible

Upset Stomach:

  • Eating Ajwain seeds or drink ajwain tea helps if you feel nauseous
  • Eating prunes or drinking prune juice helps relieve constipation
  • For eating, remember the B.R.A.T diet: Bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast. Drinking chicken broth or apple juice is also really good for getting some nutrients without having to try to stomach solid food

Headache:

  • The best OTC medicine to take if you have a headache is Aspirin because if it is an average headache it is most likely caused by a lack of blood flow to the brain, so blood thinners are good
  • Drink lots of water! It will do the same as Aspirin 
  • Stay away from screens or straining your eyes at all and get some shut eye in a dark room

Feel Better bbs!

Proud

summary: phil notices how much happier and confident dan has become (ft. shower sex)

genre: fluff!!!!! and also smut ayoooo

warnings: swearing, rimming, blowjobs, shower sex

word count: 1966

read on ao3!

a/n: hey hey hey! long time no write :) i was hit with inspo to write this fic on the way back from orlando (no joke, probs the best weekend i’ve had in a while), and i’m 99% sure this is one of the best fics i’ve written. i feel super confident and happy with it, and i couldn’t have done it without the lovely holly (who also beta’ed this fic check her out). i really really hope you enjoy, and after may 1st i will write as much as i can i promise <3

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Jungkook Scenario: Fools.

Request: I would like to request an scenario where the boys made a bet with Jungkook that he couldn’t date y/n. Of course Jungkook won and you guys became a couple (after all jungkook actually fell in love with her). Then some time passed and one day y/n found out about the bet? Thank you! Also happy ending please             

Genre: Romance / Drama


–Tell me Y/N, am I not the greatest? –  you smirked, not wanting to add more to your boyfriend’s cockiness and crossed your arms, leaning against the door frame while looking at him standing there with a stash of chips, drinks and pizza while looking every definition of marvelous with ripped jeans, a red t-shirt and messy hair. Jungkook was indeed the greatest.

–Maybe you are, I’ll get to taste that pizza and then I’ll decide – you laughed with the face he made and then pulled him to you by the edge of his shirt. –Where’s my kiss though? –

Jungkook smirked, leaning down to kiss you hello and it was as thrilling as the first time his lips made contact with yours. You sighed into his mouth without being really able to help it, holding tight onto his hips and relishing in the way Jungkook made you feel.

–Your roommates aren’t here right? – Jungkook smiled against your lips and kissed you again.

You denied softly with your head, you had made sure to ask if they were coming back so you could be alone with your boyfriend for a while. –No, it’s just the two of us for now–

You giggled and tugged at his shirt for him to enter, you just loved to chill with him at your dorm, you knew he had rushed from the campus to there but none of you had early classes tomorrow and you were planning to tell Jungkook to stay the night with you.

He kicked the door closed and shrugged, the smirk still present on his lips. –I won’t complain –

Both of you laughed, of course he wasn’t complaining, the time alone was very much welcomed after all the hectic exams you’d been having lately.

You placed you arm around his middle and walked with him towards the living, ever since he started to be around you, Jungkook found himself smiling more, laughing more, feeling much livelier. You had obviously not taken him seriously at first and not even Jungkook would take himself seriously because he just came up to you with one too many drinks on in a noisy college party, decided to talk with you to shut his friends’ mouth about him not being able to date someone as cool as you, you were after all the prettiest girl there, and Jungkook might or might not have been eyeing you for a while in campus, his friends had said he wasn’t going to act on that so he had just walked straight to you with his best charming smile on and asked you to dance with him.

That night he’d left with your phone number and a kiss, he still remembered how he felt back then for being with you, that initial excitement had not wore off from him, and whenever Jungkook looked at you he just felt like a stupid for thinking that he was the one catching you, nonsense, the one caught up here was him all along, with the way you crawled under his skin that he didn’t quite know how to explain.

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Bugging Out

Characters: Bucky x Reader

Description:  Can I please request a Bucky x reader. Where the reader and Bucky don’t like each other very much, but one night everyone else is on like a mission or something and the reader gets scared of a water bug in her room. Bucky hears her and makes fun of her for being scared but then notices she’s like really upset and crying and he comforts her. Really fluffy pls. Sry it’s a pretty detailed request I have a phobia of bugs. (requested by anon)

Word count: 1,187

Warnings: Swearing, bugs (if those bother you)

A/N: I am the absolute WORST person in the world, I literally haven’t posted an imagine on here in a year. A whole year. I’m so so so sorry you guys, I really don’t have any excuse other than being preoccupied with other things, but that’s still no reason to have left you all for that long. I hope you guys can forgive me, and that some of you are still with me despite my extended absence! School is almost over (only 3 weeks left!) so I’m hoping that I’ll be a lot more on top of this blog when that time comes. Again, I’m so sorry and requests are open if you wanna send those in!

“Can you clean up after yourself for once in your life?” you shouted, your voice echoing across the empty room. Everyone - except for you and Bucky, that is - had left to go on some apparently super important mission, and to be honest you were getting quite annoyed with Mr. Barnes. 

The two of you had never gotten along very well. It wasn’t like you hated each other or anything, you’d both just much rather spend time with other people. You thought that everyone knew of your mutual dislike for each other, so you were confused and pretty annoyed to find out that everyone was going on this mission, leaving you and Bucky alone in the tower. 

“Hello?!” you called out, huffing when you didn’t get a reply. Bucky had, yet again, left his dinner dishes all over the kitchen, and didn’t even bother putting them in the sink. You didn’t mind cleaning up after people most of the time, but Bucky was getting on your last nerve with his constant messiness that he seemed to leave just for you to pick up. 

You realized that Bucky probably wasn’t even in the tower at the moment. Either that or he was purposely ignoring you just to make you mad. Whatever the case, you were ready to punch something, preferably his face. You cursed under your breath the entire time you washed his dishes, and when you were done, you slammed the dish washer shut (just in case he was still in the tower; you wanted him to know how upset you were). 

It was pretty early in the evening, only around 7:00. Wanting to get your mind off of how pissed you were with your sole companion for the night, you decided to take a shower. After going to your room and into the bathroom that was connected to it, you quickly undressed and let the water run until the room got nice and steamy. 

You washed your hair with your favorite shampoo and let the warm water soothe your aching bones and tired mind. Too soon, the water started to get cold, so you reluctantly turned the faucet off and stepped out of the shower. You’d prepared ahead of time and set out a fluffy white towel to dry yourself with, and once you’d wrapped it around your body, you opened the bathroom door and stepped into your room. 

Everything was going perfectly normally. You looked in your dressers for some pajamas, before laying them out on your bed and getting ready to change into them. Your routine was interrupted, though, when you saw a huge water bug climbing the wall right next to your head. 

You screamed probably louder than necessary, but you couldn’t help it. You’d always been terrified of bugs. You could handle fire and assassins and people shooting at you on a daily basis, but bugs were the one thing you absolutely couldn’t handle. 

Just then, the door to your room burst open, and a frantic Bucky swiveled his head, seemingly looking for danger, holding a gun. “What’s wrong?” he asked when he couldn’t find any immediate threat. “Why did you scream?”

“Th-There’s a bug,” you stammered, pointing at the wall where you had previously been standing. “Right there.”

Bucky walked to where you were showing him, and when he saw the bug, he broke into laughter. “Seriously?” he choked out through his hysterics. “A bug?”

“It’s not funny,” you grumbled, crossing your arms and just now becoming aware that you were still in a towel. 

“I mean, I’m sorry to say it doll, but it kinda is,” he chuckled. “The fearless y/n, able to knock out men twice her size and barely blink an eye doing it, reduced to tears by a silly bug.”

“Don’t make fun of me,” you mumbled, backing into the wall across the room to further the distance between you and the bug in case it could fly or something. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’m still in a towel here, and any other time I would have told you to get the fuck out of my room and let me change, but I’m terrified right now and really would appreciate it if you’d kill that thing for me. Then as soon as you’re done you can leave and make fun of me all you want and we’ll go back to hating each other just like before,” you said, your voice wavering as you tried to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over. 

Bucky didn’t say anything for a few seconds before saying quietly, “Shit, you really are scared, aren’t you?” He grabbed a tissue from beside your bed and wrapped it around the bug before going into your bathroom and flushing it down the toilet. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, moving to the side so that he could leave. He didn’t walk away, though. 

“I don’t hate you,” he said suddenly, and you blinked in surprise. Had you heard him right? 

“You…You don’t?” you asked, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion. Then why did he try to make your life a living hell every second of every day? Were you just overreacting?

He sighed and shook his head as he sat down on your bed. “I know it probably seems like I do sometimes, but I really don’t. I just thought you hated me, so in my mind it was easier to annoy you as much as possible.”

You laughed dryly at his reasoning, sitting down next to him. “I don’t hate you either,” you told him, shrugging. “I dunno what made us act so hostile towards each other in the first place, but I, at least, want that to be over.”

“So do I,” Bucky agreed. “And I’m sorry for laughing at you about the bug.” At the mention of what had just happened, you cringed, and Bucky quickly apologized again for bringing it up. “I didn’t realize how scared you actually were until you pointed out that you weren’t kicking me out while you’re still in a towel.”

In that moment, you realized you were still basically naked, and you gasped. “Oh my God, get out!” you shrieked, pulling your towel up as far as it would go over your chest. 

Bucky laughed heartily. “There we go, back to normal,” he stated, standing up. “Again, I’m really sorry, y/n, I’ll see you later?”

You nodded, just wanting him to leave so that you could change. You realized, though, that you were acting somewhat rudely to the guy who’d just come to your rescue, so before he walked away completely, you called out, “Hey Buck?”

He turned around, seeming surprised at the nickname, and said, “Yeah, doll?”

“Do you, uh, maybe want to…watch a movie with me or something?” you wondered, suddenly shy. “After I finish changing, I mean.”

Bucky smiled and nodded, saying, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Awesome,” you grinned, before making a straight face again and saying, “Now get out.”

Bucky laughed and turned around, closing the door behind him as he said, “I’ll see you in a few minutes, y/n.”

A/N: I might start tagging some of you guys in my imagines whenever I post one if that’s something any of you are interested in. So if you wanna be a part of my tag list, either comment on this or shoot me a message and I’ll be happy to add you! :)

Request here

The Labyrinth Chapter 28

Originally posted by baebsaes

Genre: Gang AU/ High School AU

Pairing: Reader/Jimin ft. all the members

Length: 6.0k… of fluff and ~tension~

Summary: Looking back on your past, your life has never been anything out of the ordinary. Although your parents had left you on one mysterious night, leaving you little to no explanations, you live out the rest of your years residing in a new town under the custody of your aunt. That is, until you return to your hometown to investigate the whereabouts of your parents during your senior year in high school. It was that fateful decision that led you to find a boy collapsed on your front porch one night, wounds gaping and life fading when your entire life is spun out of control. Somehow being dragged into a life of crimes in the underground business of his, you discover the twisted secrets hidden behind the world you thought you had known all along. 

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