off their rocker

Imagine - Zach gets jealous

Originally posted by sensualkisses

@ambrosebabyy Request: “Can I get a Zach Dempsey imagine ? Were he sees Bryce all over me and gets really protective?”

@thrtreasons Request: “jealous!zach…. i just… oh my god sorry i am sooooo zach trash”

@hanna-ranay Request: “Honestly an imagine about Zach would truly be appreciated, if you can. If not, it’s okay. Thank you!”

Jessica Davis was having a party at her house tonight, and of course you, being her best friend, had to go. You, Jessica, Justin, Zach, Bryce, Monty, and several other students from Liberty high were sitting in the living room playing suck and blow. You were sandwiched between Bryce Walker and Zach Dempsey.

You would never admit it to anyone, but you had a huge crush on Zach. And you’re pretty sure Jessica knew, she is your best friend after all, how could she not. But you were too shy to act upon your feelings towards him and you believed that he would never want to be with someone like you. Even though you hung out with Jessica and the more popular kids at Liberty high, you were still known as quite the nerd. And someone like Zach Dempsey don’t go for nerdy girls like you, they go for skinny cheerleaders who are drop dead gorgeous. 

Anyways, the game of suck and blow had already started, and you were pretty nervous to say at the least. Because you had to put your mouth against Zach’s with only a thin card in between the two of your lips. It was getting closer and closer to your turn until some girl pressed her mouth against Bryce’s passing the card on to him. He turned towards you, card on his lips. Bryce scooted closer to you quickly, sandwiching you more between him and Zach, until the point where you were chest to chest with Bryce and your back was pressed firmly against Zach’s muscular chest. Bryce then proceeded to place his card covered lips against yours, and quickly, in the process of passing the card onto you, snuck his hand around you to grab a hold of your backside and give it a good squeeze. His actions shocked you and you jumped, emitting a little squeal which was muffled by the card between yours and Bryce’s lips. Still in shock from what is happening right now, you faintly hear a deep growl from behind you…

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Transference (M) – Chapter 06

cr. [X]

Summary: After experiencing one of the worst days of your life, you face difficult truths about yourself while under Hoseok’s facilitation.

Pairing: Hoseok x Reader

Genre: Angst, Smut

Word Count: 13,167

Warning: Tantric!Hoseok, therapist/client relationship, sexual themes, BDSM, shibari, dom/sub roleplay, profanity.

A/N: This chapter is going to hurt.

Chapters: 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07

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Top 9 Most Fight-Able Characters in Mystic Messenger

(ranked by the likelihood of winning from least to most likely)

9. “Mary” Vanderwood, Secret Agent Murdermonster

Result: A swift and painful death

Are you shitting me? You’ll be goddamn eviscerated on the spot. Not to mention nobody will ever find your body. This is completely fucking unadvisable. DO NOT DO THIS unless you have a DEATH WISH and want to disappear from the world completely. Vanderwood is not to be messed with. They’ve killed many a worthy foe, and you will not be one of them. There’s not much else to say here. I don’t care who you are, you should not challenge Vanderwood. Say your prayers, fucker

8. Unknown/Saeran Choi, Total Edgelord

Result: Utter defeat, probably followed by torture + imprisonment

I don’t think you need me to tell you that this kid is fucking off his rocker. Let’s be real, he’s probably killed a few people, and he enjoyed every minute of it. You can bet your ass he’ll likely torture you after defeating you, too. And you know, some of you sick fucks will probably enjoy the whole damn ordeal. You’re probably the only ones who’d WANT to fight him just to have him fucking step on you. Well congratu-fucking-lations, you got what you wanted. He still beats your ass. The only reason Vanderwood beats him in this ranking is because it’s possible he’d keep you alive for fun, and some of you would enjoy that, so at least it’s a fuckin victory for somebody. Fuck.

7. Jaehee Kang, Smarter than the CEO

Result: Total annihilation + jail time

Do you see this face? This is the face of someone who has been repressing violent urges for fucking years for the sake of keeping her job. If she could snap Jumin’s neck, she would in a heartbeat. You do not want to give her a justifiable reason to unleash that utter fucking rage on your sorry ass. Did you forget she has a black belt in judo? She could beat my ass. She could beat your ass. She could beat anyone’s ass. I don’t care WHO you think you are. And after the fight? She’ll report you to the proper authorities, pick up a cup of coffee, and finish her daily tasks like nothing fucking happened. What a wild bitch. I fucking love her to death, tbh. And you know what? How dare you challenge her. She deals with enough shit in her life. I hope she beats your ass with a righteous fucking fury. Have fun in jail, dipshit.

6. God 707, Meme Lord Supreme

Result: Depends on your approach, but probably a failure

Honestly Seven’s about as fucking predictable as a lunch box full of wasps. What am I even supposed to say here? He’d probably imitate that shitty ass vine meme the first time you punch him and say “I can’t believe you’ve done this”, complete with a British accent, but when you keep hitting, it’ll confuse him. The element of surprise is probably your best bet, but you also have no fucking clue what he’ll do. He might beat the shit out of you. He might scamper away on his scrawny ass legs and proceed to hack into everything you once loved or held dear. He might lay down on the ground and let you kick the shit out of him. In the end, it depends on his mood. Is that reliable at all? Absolutely fucking not. So go for it, but I literally have no idea how it’s gonna turn out for you.

5. Zen/Hyun Ryu, A God Among Men

Result: You have a good chance of winning, but at what cost?

OK BEFORE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND LISTEN THE FUCK UP. Why is Zen higher up on the list, Nani??? you ask me, pouting, clutching your Zen body pillow(s) in agony. Zen had a bad past!! He’s not easy to fight, he was such a bad boy!! v//w//v He’s so tough and strong and he’s our knight in shining armor! Hey!! Good for you! But GUESS FUCKING WHAT!! If you’re female, he’ll probably forfeit to you immediately, unlike the barbarians before him on this list, so technically he’s easier to fight! He’d probably LET you beat the shit out of him if it made you feel better. It’s not even a fucking question of who would win if a woman challenged him, so we’re gonna move on.
Now, if you’re a GUY, he’d be more willing to square up, and my advice is go for his face. Pretty boy doesn’t like messing up his pretty mug, and if you play dirty, he’ll get scared real quick. His ponytail is a disadvantage for him, so yank it real hard. You have a better chance of beating him with perseverance, but if you let him get the upper hand, you’re deceased because he’s probably a heavy hitter. Also, you will incur the wrath of all his fangirls, and probably the angels above, and you will spend the rest of your life MISERABLE AND CURSED, so proceed with caution. If you can get away with it without anyone knowing your identity, you’re golden. Good luck, but also, why? do you even want to??

4. Jumin Han, Mistah Trussfund Kid (The CEO)

Result: Instant win, but your life will be RUINED

Honestly, I think certain RFA members would actually be very glad if someone handed Jumin’s ass to him, but good fucking luck accomplishing that without having your entire life destroyed. On a purely physical level, Jumin is no competition. He may be the tallest motherfucker around, but he’s never fought anyone before in his LIFE. You’d probably only have an issue here if you were short as shit, and even then, go for the knees, amirite? He’ll fall like a fucking oak tree, and then you can rip him a new one while he’s down. Easy peasy, right? WRONG. He’s got a horde of like 50 bodyguards that you have to sneak past or defeat first or something. And if you somehow make it to Jumin first, they’ll swarm your ass after you first start swinging and have you incapacitated in a few seconds. Are those first few swings worth it? Maybe. But he’s gonna sue your ass for everything you own. The whole world will know your name. If you don’t get jail time, you’ll wish you had. It will be an easier life than trying to live in the public. Zen and Jaehee might love you forever, though, so maybe they can pull a few favors for ya. You better pray they do. Good fuckin luck out there, champ.

3. Yoosung Kim, Small Child

Result: Victory, but with a catch

Look into this child’s eyes. Look me in the eyes. Tell me that Yoosung isn’t a fucking pansy. You can’t, can you? It’s because Yoosung is a fucking pansy. This kid would be down for the count after exactly one (1) punch. He might enjoy it a little too, which’ll be awkward as shit for both of you. HOWEVER. If you trigger his Yandere side, which is bullshit but whatever, he might put up more of a fight. How do you do this, you may ask? Insult Rika. or MC. (Probably Rika tho). Something inside him will snap, and then he’ll be trickier to handle. He’ll probably play dirty when he’s like this, so expect to get shanked or bitten or something. It doesn’t change the fact that his scrawny ass can’t fight for shit, so you’ll still probably win, but not without a few injuries yourself. Hurting Yoosung is probably the moral equivalent to kicking a puppy. If you can be ok with yourself after that, then I mean, go for it.

2. Rika, the Antichrist

Result: Certain victory, but extremely dangerous

Look, maybe I should’ve put her lower on the list considering she’s got an entire cult following her every order. But, honest to God, you would be morally obligated to fight her. Please beat the shit out of her. Physically, her scrawny ass could do nothing to stop you. She’s ruined the lives of her friends, as well as countless other people, because of her deranged and, quite frankly, selfish desires. Basically, she’s a little bitch. I don’t know how you’ll do it, but god damn, you’ll be everyone’s hero. The downside to this is that she might sick Saeran on you, which is gonna be a pain in your ass, and Yoosung might hate you forever, but I think you can live with that, right? Do us all a favor. Fight Rika.

1. Jihyun Kim/V, aka Flower Angel Sunshine Man

Result: Total Victory, but you’re basically Satan

BEFORE YOU SEND ME ANON HATE, REMEMBER: this is a list based on how likely you are to win. And V? V would let anyone beat him. He probably thinks he deserves it. He might defend himself a little, but he couldn’t bring himself to hurt you. Your victory would be almost immediate. There is no catch to V. You’d just win. But you’re a fucking monster for it. And you know what? I’ll beat the shit out of you if you hurt this man. So don’t even think about it, asshole.

8

Melanie Martinez | Mad hatter

air date : 23/09/2017

I’m nuts, baby, I’m mad,
The craziest friend that you’ve ever had
You think I’m psycho, you think I’m gone
Tell the psychiatrist something is wrong
Over the bend, entirely bonkers
You like me best when I’m off my rocker
Tell you a secret, I’m not alarmed
So what if I’m crazy? The best people are 


bonus : 

6

music artists posters: axl rose (Guns n’ Roses)

Call Boy Jaehyun (Jaehyun x Reader)

Rating: M, very rated M

(A/N) The moment of truth has finally arrived y’all, Call Boy Jaehyun has joined the party! Hope you enjoy him for the night! ;)

Originally posted by openyoureyesfornct

You didn’t trust men anymore, not after having your heart broken over and over by them without batting a lash. Each breakup warped and shaped you into the woman you were now, someone who was broken but strong enough to handle her own…and her men. 

You should’ve taken a break from dating, but your mind kept convincing you that the next one would work and that you would be stronger. Each man that you dated slowly changed you, the only consolidation your heart ever felt was when you were breaking a man’s will underneath your six-inch heel. Your friends jokingly called you a man eater, and you didn’t make any attempt to correct them because you knew that’s exactly what you were.

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Collocations: Traits

(Warning: long post)

You may be wondering, what the heck is a collocation?

A collocation is the grammatical juxtaposition of a word with other words to create a natural phrase. 

In other words, it’s the difference between “a quick bite to eat” vs. “a fast bite to eat.”

I put the literal translations in parentheses. Enjoy! ( ◦ ’ ں ˉ ◦ )

Brains - (lit. head)

頭がいい - Smart (head is good)
君は頭がいいよ!
You’re so smart!

頭が悪い - Stupid (head is bad)

頭が切れる - Clever (head is sharp)

頭が冴えている - Sharp (head is clear)

頭が鈍い - Dense or slow (head is blunt)

頭がおかしい - Funny/crazy/a little off one’s rocker (head is funny/strange)
頭がおかしいと言われる人の多くは、過去に何らかの原因が存在しているものです。
Many people who are said to be crazy have some sort of past (trauma).

Skills/Talent - (lit. arm/hand)

腕が立つ - (one’s) talent shows (arm stands)
腕が立つようになるまでには、何年もの修業は必要だ。
You’ll need many years of practice before your talent starts to show.

腕に覚えがある - Confident in one’s skills (arm has remembered)
先生なら、腕に覚えがある
I’m confident in my skills as a teacher.

腕がいい - Skillful (arm is good)

(する)腕がある - Have the skills to do…. (there is arm (to do))

Hunch - (lit. feeling)

感がいい「悪い」- Quick or slow to catch on (feeling is good/bad)

感が鋭い - Sharp/quick/have a good nose for (feeling is sharp)

感が鈍い - Be slow to catch on (feeling is dull)
君はあい変わらす感が鈍いない
You’re slow to catch on as usual.

感が当たる「外れる」- Your hunch is right (wrong) (feeling hits/disconnected)
感が当たったようだ。
Looks like your hunch was right.

感が働く- Intuition (feeling works)
何かがおかしいという感が働いたとしか思えません。
I can’t help but think my intuition told me something was wrong.

Voice -

声が高い - High-pitched voice (voice is high)

声が低い - Low-pitched voice (voice is low)

声がきれいだ - Beautiful voice (voice is pretty)

声がハスキーだ - Husky voice (voice is husky)

声がいい - Nice voice (voice is good)

声が渋い - Seasoned voice (voice is cool or tasteful)

Faith/Belief - 信仰

信仰を持つ - To have faith

信仰を捨てる - Abandon one’s faith (throw away faith)
それまで信じていた信仰を捨てること。
I had abandoned my faith until then.

信仰心が厚い - Be religious or devout (faith is thick) 
この地方の人々は一般に信仰心が厚い
People in this region are generally really religious.

Belief/Principles - 深淵

深淵を持つ - Have beliefs/convictions

信念を曲げる - Abandon beliefs/convictions (bend or distort beliefs)
信念を曲げてまで、その地位を得たいとは思いません。
I don’t think I’m willing to achieve that position unless I abandon my beliefs.

信念を貫く- Stick to principles (penetrate beliefs)
我々がなんと言おうと、彼は自分の信念を貫くしぼっている。
No matter what we tell him, he’ll always stick to his beliefs

Wisdom - 知恵

知恵をしぼる - Rack one’s brains (squeeze wisdom)

知恵が働く- Be smart/cunning (wisdom works)

知恵を働かせる - Use one’s brains (to work wisdom)

知恵が浮かぶ - Get a good idea (wisdom floats)
シャワーにいい知恵が浮かんだ
I got a really good idea in the shower.

知恵が回る - Shrewd/clever (precocious) (wisdom spins)
まだ5歳だというのに、よく知恵が回る。
Even though he’s only 5, he’s really clever.

Knowledge - 知識

知識が豊富だ - Good knowledge of (rich knowledge)
車の知識が豊富だ.
He has a pretty good knowledge of cars.

知識が乏しい - Little knowledge of (poor knowledge)

知識がある - Knowledgeable (there is knowledge)

Judgment - 判断

判断を下す - Make a judgment/decision (give judgment)
次にあげる例を見れば、自分で判断を下すことができるだろう。
By looking at the following example, you should be able to make your own judgment.

判断に迷う - Trouble making a decision (get lost in judgment)

判断がつく・つかない - Can/cannot decide (take/cannot take judgment)

Understanding - 理解

理解が速い(遅い)- Quick/slow to understand/ (understanding is fast/slow)

理解がある - Show understanding (there is understanding)
私は一体、自分が本当に誰かを理解したことがあったのだろうか、と思った。
I wondered if I had ever truly understood anyone.

i could write a whole essay on how every single counterculture movement in england has been based on stealing black culture and the very rodents who copied it having the nerve decades later to say blackness had nothing to do with it. let it be known that the skinheads were originally poor white londoners who thought that all these new fangled jamaican immigrants dressed neat and listened to good music and wanted to copy that to “”“rebel”“” against the middle class. these are the same rats who became neo nazis lol

You Are My Happily Ever After - Harry Hook x Reader

Originally posted by interwebber


Requested:Hi, i was wondering if you could write an imagine about Harry. Where you are jays younger sister and you went to auradon with the vks but dont feel like you fit in and want to go back to the isle. You go back with mal and run into an old friend and crush, Harry Hook. When the others come you help with ben you and jay get into a fight and you stay on the isle with Harry? Sorry its so long. Thank you if you can write this. i love your imagines, thank you for doing what you do!! :)

A/N I’d like to thank @kaylantus for the request. Hope you enjoy !! (:

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in which harry just wants to kiss…

Y/N was having a bad day. It wasn’t too often when she came home so off her rocker that she couldn’t fully calm herself, but the odds just were not in her favour. It just felt like she couldn’t catch a break and everyone was out to get her, and of course the day wasn’t finished with her yet. Unlike other days when Harry was in some part of the house awaiting her arrival, he was nowhere to be found. So, she did the only thing she thought to do with her nerves that rattled. She sat on the couch and stewed until he came home.

He walked in, a little while later, face set in a hard glare. He hadn’t had the best day either. Still, he saw her on the couch looking in a bit of a daze wearing the same thing she wore to work and knew that she wasn’t okay. He let out a long sigh and sat next to her. “Bad day?”

She nodded her head. “It was horrible.”

“What happened?” he asked and she launched into all the wrong thrust upon her. Harry wishes he could say that he was giving her his full attention, but he had a rough day too. Besides, she didn’t necessarily want feedback so much as someone who would listen.

She laid her head on his shoulder when she was done venting. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem, love.” He turned his head, kissing her temple.

“Do you want to talk about your day? You look like you’ve not had a great day either.”

He maneuvered his body so he was fully facing her. “No, I’d just like to kiss you for a really long time.”

A small smile crept up onto her face. “Okay. I can make that happen,” she said, already leaning forward and wrapping her hands around his neck. 

He closed what little distance was left between them, pressing his lips to hers and wrapping his arms around her back. 

She could tell he was putting all his feelings into the kiss because of how hard and frantic it was. The way he was pushing against her. The way he was capturing her bottom lip with his top. The way he bit her bottom lip and let it snap back before going back in for another kiss.

He laid her all the way back against the couch so his weight was resting on her and deepened the kiss. He gently prodded the crease of her lips with his tongue, urging her to open her mouth, and once she did he swooped his tongue around hers in a battle for dominance. She let him have it. He could take all she had to give and then some.

They both began feeling a bit lightheaded, so he pulled back so they could have some time to breathe. But, the action didn’t come to a full stop. He took the time to lavish her neck with attention. He suckled on the juncture of her neck and jawline before pressing multiple kisses at the spot to soothe it. He moved the kisses along to the middle of her neck and left sloppy kisses down its column until he hit just above her collar bone and bit down, eliciting a moan. Again, he chose to suckle on the spot and leave kisses to seal it off. 

He lifted his head and dropped his jaw in awe of the colour blooming from the love bite he left on her skin. Typically, he’s not one to leave marks in such obvious places, but he swears he’s never been more into her than he was in that moment and he was really into her. His admiration didn’t last for long, though, as he licked a stripe up the opposite side of her neck to her jawline and kissed a line right to her earlobe, which he took between his teeth and whispered, “God, I love you,” in her ear.

She moaned louder than she’s used to in response, while wrapping her legs around his waist. Instead of returning back to her lips, her breath having come and gone as a result of his assault on her neck, he peppered kisses all around her face. At this point, she was absolutely reeling. Her mind wasn’t even working anymore. All the kisses that weren’t where she craved them was driving her crazy and she couldn’t take it anymore, so she cupped his face in her hands in an attempt to guide him back to her. She spotted the little lopsided smirk on his lips, telling tales of the satisfaction he gets from making her mental and bucked her hips to his in retaliation. He tilted his head back slightly as she did it again and again and again until his defences finally broke down and like the moon to earth he’s gravitated back to her.

He firmly grasped her hips, holding her down to stop from really getting his engine started when he was much too tired to do anything about it. Still, he absolutely loved the way she was kissing him back with just as much gusto he gave. He let out little growls and groans from the back of his throat and had to focus nearly all his brain power from giving into his urges and reigning the two of them back into neutral territory. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to because he loved when they went farther. He’s 100% convinced he could spend forever between her legs with her wrapped all around him. Today, though, it’d just embarrass him, and really all he wanted to do was kiss her. 

After a while, he broke up the kisses, pecking her lips until their lips are just barely brushing against each other, lazy smiles drawn on both of their faces.

Harry felt much more calm and collected and extremely connected to the girl laid down under him. He splattered a few kisses across her chest, tucking himself into her and begins to lay out the woes of his day. Once all the frustrations were finally freed, the conversation flowed easily between them, and they stayed up into all hours of the night and early morning talking about everything and nothing until they fell asleep.

Scorpius chats with Ron
  • Rose invited Scorpius over for the afternoon one summer to have dinner with them, but Ron insisted on having a chat with him because he thought they were dating, even though Rose insisted that they were not. So, Scorpius sat down and talked to Ron and...
  • Ron: What’s your full name?
  • Scorpius: Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy. Some people call me Scorp.
  • Ron: I hear you tease Rose sometimes.
  • Scorpius: Um... *rubs the back of his neck* I used to in first to third year, but we're friends now. I promise I won't do it anymore. Posie- I mean, Rose- is so funny when she's angry, that's all.
  • Ron: So, Scorpius, you’re how old now? *looking gruff and like he’ll shoot Scorpius*
  • Scorpius: Fourteen, sir.
  • Ron: Fourth year, hm?
  • Scorpius: Yep. Same year as Rose. OWLs will be next year, so I’m pretty nervous. I know Posie will do well though, she’s brilliant.
  • Ron: Yes, well, she’s her mother’s daughter. *chuckles* What’s your favourite subject?
  • Scorpius: Potions, because Dad taught me. But Charms is fun when Posie helps me out.
  • Ron: What do you want to be when you grow up?
  • Scorpius: Maybe a Professor. I love Hogwarts. I'm not as good at it, but I think that I’d like to teach Transfiguration though, it’s so cool. McGonagall’s my favourite teacher.
  • Ron: I see. And what about your father and mother, do you get along with them?
  • Scorpius: Well- this is rare, but it happens - Dad loses his temper. He’ll snap at me and Mum. Mum annoys me from time to time. She’s a stickler for dressing up and being clean and all that.
  • Ron: My mum was like that and now my wife is too. Terrible fate, I’ve got.
  • Hermione: I HEARD THAT!
  • Scorpius: *laughs*
  • Ron: You like Wizard chess?
  • Scorpius: Yes, Al and I play all the time in the Slytherin common room.
  • Ron: Really? *chuckles* Reminds me of me and Harry. And what about Quidditch? Do you play?
  • Scorpius: No, sir. I like to watch, though. James is really good and so is that Zabini bloke from my house. And I really love the Chud-
  • Ron: *screams at him and flails his arms* CHUDLEY CANONS?!
  • Scorpius: *looking scared* Uh... y-yeah... it’s my... um...favourite team. Why? Is... is that bad? I'm s-sorry.
  • Ron: *shakes his hand* Welcome to the family!
  • Scorpius: What? But I’m...
  • Ron: My son!
  • Hugo: DAD?!
  • Ron: You Puddlemore supporter!
  • Scorpius: Puddlemore? Hugo, are you off your rockers?
  • Ron: I love this one. I love him. *hugs Scorpius*
  • Scorpius: But sir, Rose and I aren’t even dating. She’s my friend.
  • Ron: What do you think of her?
  • Scorpius: Well... she’s respectable and funny and kind and brave and... *blushes just a bit* maybe a teensy bit pretty?
  • Ron: ROSE!
  • Rose: Yes, Dad? Is dinner ready? I was just working on my History of Magic assignment and I-
  • Ron: You marry this one, okay? *pats him on the back and squeals* He likes Chudley Canons!
  • Rose: What?!
  • Scorpius: What?!
  • Ron: I give up all the things I said about you never marrying a Malfoy. Just go ahead, fall in love! *pushes him towards her* So long as he keeps loving Chudleys. Say, what was your favourite game?
  • Scorpius: But sir...?
  • Ron: *grinning like a fool* Which one? Come on, then.
  • Scorpius: 1988 Winter Games. I saw it on tape with Dad.
  • Ron: I’m calling Draco on the pellyphone to arrange a marriage.
  • Hermione: What? Ron, you can’t! Rose needs to make her own choices. Plus, you hated the Malfoys, why do you change your mind over a Quidditch team?
  • Rose: Dad, I don't want to have an arranged marriage!
  • Ron: *ignoring them* Hello, Malfoy? I’d like to ask a favour...
  • Hermione: RONALD BILIUS WEASLEY!
  • Rose: Um... sorry, my family’s crazy. *blushing*
  • Scorpius: Yep, I can see that. I don’t mind. *smiles at her*

anonymous asked:

Do you do recs? I'm having an awful day and need to laugh and am looking for really funny drarry fics.

Hi Anon!

I actually don’t usually do fic recs – only occasionally when the mood strikes me – but I’ve really been where you are (and am having one of those nights, in fact), so here are some of my favorite make-me-smile fics:

A Portrait Of The Artist   by @firethesound

Summary: When Harry Potter, reclusive artist, finally agrees to an interview, Draco can hardly believe that he’ll be the one to do it. 

My Thoughts: I have a huge humor kink for people trying to repress their revulsion, tbh. And when Draco lucks into an interview with Harry about Harry’s art – which is decidedly not…good – their resultant interaction (and Draco’s internal dialogue) makes me want to cry with laughter. It also has a sweet little dose of UST, and Draco-trying-to-be-nice, which never fails to be funny as hell.


Draco Malfoy:Toilet Supremo  by who_la_hoop

Summary: It must be a vision brought on by eating cheese sarnies too close to bedtime, Harry thinks. There’s no way that Draco Malfoy can really be standing on his doorstep, calling himself a Toilet Supremo, and expecting Harry to buy not only this unlikeliest of scenarios, but also a new loo.But no: Harry’s eyes do not deceive him. Malfoy, Lord of Toilets, is really there. Which begs a very important question: what the hell is he up to, and what evil scheme is he about to unleash? Because there must be an evil scheme … mustn’t there?  

My Thoughts: Please do not let the title of this fic deter you, it’s honestly not crack-y at all! It’s just this really funny, realistic fic in which Harry needs a new toilet and this somehow brings Draco to his door. Over and over and over. It’s a great piece for reading about them getting to know each other, some (very weird) flirting and subtle pining, and oblivious Harry. 


Muggle Drug Store Items by @l0vegl0wsinthedark

Summary: Malfoy’s interest is caught by a certain Muggle drug store item. (Hint: Flavoured Condoms)

My Thoughts: Okay, so who doesn’t love Draco when he’s being an absolute shit? LOLOL. Only in this case, you get the added bonus of lightheartedness – they’re in a relationship – and Harry, embarrassed off his rocker in public. Love always manages to come up with the funniest, snarkiest version of Draco, somehow, and this does not disappoint. All of this results in some hot sex, too, so this is 100% one you should check out if you’re having a bad day. It’ll make you laugh and then wipe sweat from your brow.


 Pretty Fond Of Not Very Good Ideas by @lqtraintracks

Summary: Harry Peterson, Orderer Extraordinaire, and his trusty sidekick, Ray. Or: Harry’s been hit with a memory charm, but it’s okay because he realises he’s bent for Draco Malfoy.

My Thoughts: Like, okay: I’m not sure how I can make this sound any funnier than the summary does. But basically it’s the best memory-loss fic EVER. Harry is suffering some spell damage, but manages just fine when he goes out with Ron and Hermione (and the rest of his group) and spots – you guessed it, Draco. Hot and sitting at the bar, and making amnesia-Harry react in ways that non-amnesia Harry might’ve been avoiding.   And I could go into how I have actually cried real tears laughing at the dialogue in this (Oh, Ray.), or how lq_traintracks manages to flip it on its head abruptly to deliciously un-U the UST, but you should just trust me and go read this.


 Group Chat by @jadepresley

Summary: A screenshot of a group chat conversation between Draco, Harry, Ron, Pansy, Hermione and Theo.

My thoughts: This is… Just like it sounds, really. Lol. It’s in alternative format (texting), but the thing about Jade’s writing is that she never goes out of character, so each comment and subsequent reaction (and oh, the changing of the names!) will have you rolling. It’s a teeny fic (less than 2k), so if you’re pressed for time you can still read it and find a smile in your day.


Hope these help, nonnie, and that your night gets a little better. Thanks for the ask! <3

In Time: Dean x Reader Soulmate AU

In Time: Dean x Reader Soulmate AU
Rating: T
Warnings: Talk of Suicide. 
Word Count: 1640

AN:  So I had this rolling around in my head when I was looking soulmate AU prompts.  I hope you like it.  If you would please leave feedback, I would greatly appreciate it!   For @imgoldielikehawn, cause she’s awesome and so supportive!  Thanks girl!  Let me know if you want to be tagged! Also thank you so much for 400 hundred followers! Ekkkkk. I’m so excited.


“No matter where I went, I always knew my way back to you. You are my compass star.” - Diana Peterfreund

“Ahh. Come on Mom!  It’s obvious that they aren’t real feds!”  You cried as you looked down on your mom and two strange men.  One was a tall brunette and the other was a dirty blonde with a cock in his walk.  It made you question your mother’s sanity as she sat clutching as kleenex to her nose.  She was talking to them about the night that you had passed away six months ago.  

For the first few months of your limbo, you had been in complete shock.  You had died young.  You had just celebrated your twenty-fifth birthday a few weeks before your death. The police had told your mother that you had shot yourself, but she never believed them.  You also didn’t think that it had sounded right.  Why would you have done something like that?  You had always been happy.  Your life was simple and happy.

You pressed your lips together as you listened more intently to the conversation from your perch on top of the stair well.  Your mother handed the dirty blonde man a picture as she spoke about told them more about you.

“She was happy.  Always happy.  She had dreams.  She wanted to be an author…  She wanted to get married and have a family…” She said before stopping in the middle of her thoughts.

You swallowed back tears as she started to cry softly.  Lifting  yourself up from the top of the stairs, you patted your way to stand behind her.  Reaching out, you desperately tried to touch her shoulder.  Your hand passed right through her and you frowned.   You just wanted her to be happy.  

“Come on mom.  Please don’t cry….”  You muttered as you allowed your hand to hover over her head.  “I’m okay.  I promise.”  

Though that promised was most likely empty.  The only thing you could think to call yourself was stuck.  Stuck in a world were you no longer belonged.  The sudden movement from across the table caught your eye.  The man your mother had given the picture to was swatting his partner in the arm.  He was also looking straight at you.  Turning to look over your shoulder, you found nothing but the empty kitchen. You turned back slowly towards him.  That’s when he locked eyes with you, and you flinched backwards when he did.  

He could see you?

You watched as his partner finally looked up.  He looked right passed you and into the adjoining room.  You blinked rapidly as the blonde man jabbed his finger in your direction.  The brunette gave him a bewildered look and turned his attention back to your mother.  

“We really are sorry for your loss ma’ma.  She was a beautiful young lady.”  The brunette said as he reached out and patted your mother’s hand.  You smiled at the exchanged and couldn’t help but feel he was a nice guy.  The blonde man still hadn’t stopped looking at you.  You turned your attention to him and wondered why he could see you.  No one else seemed to have the ability.  You motioned for him to meet you upstairs.  You wanted to talk to him.   

He looked confused for a second, but caught on when you mouthed ‘upstairs’.  You then turned and bounded up to your old room.

“Ma’am, would it be alright if I checked out her bedroom?  That is where you found her correct?”  He asked your mother gently.  Your mother’s eyes rose to his and she nodded.

“Yes, of course Agent Brooks.  It’s the third door on the left upstairs.”  She sniffed in response.  

“Thank you ma’am.”  He answered as he left the room.    

***

You sat on your childhood bed and nervously chewed on your lip.  You had been visiting the weekend that your mother had found you.  A bullet in your skull and an empty world for her.  You had been standing in the room watching in panicked horror as she clutched your lifelessness.  You had wonder why there had been no bright light or even hellfire.  Instead, you had been left in a cold emptiness.  As the time had passed, you had become used to not feeling.  As before, in life, you had been full of spirit and dreams.  The manuscript for your first novel had been purchased. You had a little apartment in the city and a lot of great friends.  

Your death didn’t make since, but this man might be a glimmer of hope.  There was a knock at the door and you couldn’t help but feel it was a little silly.  You were a ghost not a teenaged girl.

“Come in?” You said as a question.  A bit of biting sarcasm in your tone.  You watched as the door opened and the blonde man entered.  Your eyes widen at the sudden realization of just how good looking he was. You subconsciously ran your fingers through your hair and almost laughed at yourself when you realized what you were doing.

“Y/N?”  He asked when he stood in front of you.  You noticed he was squinting in the darkness of the room.  You nodded before pointing to the desk lamp beside him.

“Sorry.  I can’t seem to touch solid objects.” You offered as an explanation for the darkness.  The man nodded as he reached over and clicked on the light.   You swallowed when a strange pooling feeling in your stomach fluttered through you when you meet his eyes.  You watched as something flickered through him as well.  You took in a deep breath before asking him the question that was burning in the back of your mind.

“Why can you see me?  No else seems to be able to…”  You asked as you pressed your lips together.   The man looked you for a moment before answering.

“To be honest, I am not sure.  Most ghosts I come across are trying to kill someone… Not trying to get them into their bedrooms for a private chat. “  He said with a cocky chuckle.   You squinted at him in confusion.  Was he flirting with you?  

“Are you flirting with a dead girl?” You asked with a cocked eyebrow.  He gave you a look of ‘I guess so’ and a shrug of his shoulders.  This certainly wasn’t the stranger notion about is love life.   Little did you know- he was currently fighting with a much bigger demon.  One that wanted to make him a part of her.


You made a face at him before shaking your head.  This guy was definitely not FBI.

“Who are you?  Cause you’re not an FBI agent.”  You questioned as you smoothed your hair down.  A nervous habit that you had since childhood.   He smiled at your sharp observation.


“Name’s Dean Winchester.  I’m a hunter…”

“Like for big game?”  You ask with a slight laugh.  Dean extended you a look and you gave him a squinty smile back.  “Sorry… Go ahead.”

“Not that kind of a hunter.  I hunt things like well… you…” .

You glowered at him for a moment- you weren’t anything that needed to be hunted.  

You heard him clear his throat as his eyes glanced around from his own awkwardness.

“That didn’t come out right.  What I meant to say is that I hunt supernatural things: werewolves, ghosts, demons, vampires…  All the crap in the movies including some stuff that I wouldn’t want your pretty face to have to believe.”   He said with a undertone of somberness.

You flinched a bit when he called you pretty, but didn’t press it.  What would it do anyway?  You were dead.  Yet, you still didn’t know why he was here…  Unless this was about you, but you had never tried to hurt anyone.


“Are you guys here to like hunt me?  Or something?…”  You asked with confusion in your tone.  

Dean stared at you for a long while.  He had never expected to find you here.  At least not like this.  Most ghosts that had unfinished business turned into revengeful spirits.   There was a lightness about you that made his heart squeeze in his chest. He didn’t understand the feeling, but looking at you like this was making the thought of your death devastatingly personal.

“No, sweetheart.  We are here to figure out what really happen to you.”  He said in a low rumbly voice.   Your eyes widen as you looked straight into his.

“I didn’t kill myself.”  You said with more confidence than you thought you could muster.  Your memories of that time came in waves, but you couldn’t remember anything about what had lead up to that moment.  Nothing added up.

Your eyes were suddenly brought to the door when the brown haired man appeared there.  You watched as he gave Dean an odd look when he spoke to you.


“I know.  There have been a string of cases that similar to your death.  Happy people suddenly….”  He started to say, but stopped in the middle of his statement when the brown haired man interrupted him.

“Dean, who are you talking to?”  

You watched in amusement as Dean jumped before turning around to glared at the other man.

“Don’t do that, Sam!”  He barked.   You giggled lightly when the man he called Sam chuckled.  Dean turned to look at you with a frown.  “And what’s so  funny?”

You shook your head innocently  and covered your giggle.  Sam by this time was staring at his brother like he belonged in an insane asylum.  He could only conclude that his brother had been spending too many late nights researching the darkness or he had finally gone off his rocker.  He walked over and clamped his hand down on his brother’s shoulder.

“Dude.  No one is there.  You really need to get more sleep.”  Sam stated with a worried expression.  Dean’s eyebrows furrowed together and he shot you a look.  Was he seeing things?  Dean frowned deeply at this thought, but shook his head.  There was something more than a few sleepless nights going on here.  He knew that it was you that he was seeing, but the question was…  Why only him?


PART 2 IS POSTED-  Read it here.