off the peg

so I just had a pretty incredibly exciting celebrity run-in on the bus home from work (in Vancouver). I was sitting across from these two ladies who were talking to the girls beside me. As soon as I saw them, I immediately thought I recognized them as the White-Faced Women from Netflix’s A Series of Unfortunate Events.

Their faces, their glasses, their hair, their voices were all a perfect match, and the way they talked to the girls and joked off of each other clearly pegged them as actors. Given that ASOUE was my favourite book series for years and years, there was no way I couldn’t say anything, so I hesitantly asked if they were who I thought they were, and lo and behold, it was them! (Joyce Robbins [Woman 1] on the left of my pic, Jacqueline Robbins [Woman 2] on the right).

They were on their way back from a long day of shooting season 2, and they were raving about how amazing the new season was, even bigger and better than the first. They gushed with affection for the books and how Netflix has lovingly brought it to life with such great accuracy and creativity, Daniel Handler’s amazing writing skills for paper and screen, all the crew that make it possible, and the endless fun of working with Neil Patrick Harris. They had spent a good portion of the day working on learning a dance with him, and were both exhausted from it. I commented on how it made sense, then, that their hair was done up like that, since they’d just come back from filming. They revealed that they always wear their hair like that, and that Netflix liked it so much at the audition that they made it a part of the costume, and even put it in the wigs they wore for disguises.

They also asked me stuff about me, and I could barely get words out in my giddy excitement. It was pretty pretty cool. The people around us on the bus didn’t know what they were from, but were smiling fondly at their enthusiasm about their show and their work and my enthusiasm about meeting them!

Number One Girl

*warning for sexually explicit content*



I was his friend. Have been for ages. Way before he became famous and, to be honest, really nothing had changed. Well, maybe a little. But totally for the better.


I was what he liked to call his ‘regular’. Not very romantic, I knew that, but we didn’t really do romance. We did each other. He had a couple other ‘regulars’, random girls that I didn’t really know, but I was his ‘Number One Girl’, as he like to put it and he always made sure to remind me of that. I wasn’t sure if it was because we had been friends the longest or because of my killer blowjob skills, but whatever the reason was, it didn’t really matter. I was just happy to be one of the lucky ones, because that boy could honestly make me feel like no other. I did have other guys that I was with, never anything serious, but I would drop everything the moment I got the text that he was back in town. It didn’t matter where I was, what time it was or who I was with. When he summoned me, I came. In so many fucking ways.

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duel destinies would have been infinitely better (and i’m saying this as someone who thinks everything up too and including the premise of duel destinies is bad) if they hadn’t soft reset phoenix.

keep hobo phoenix a character, equalize the athena-apollo screentime and set up the final case better by having hobo phoenixs hobo ass only show up to drop foreshadowing for the finale.

hobohodo is actively investigating the phantom shit with miles in the background (versus dd phoenix just sort of being there) but he’s predictably keeping his cards to his chest about it (even from athena).

After watching this clip about the Kingsman: Secret Service deleted scene that was partially shown in Kingsman: Golden Circle, I rewatched the first film and holy shit did it make me laugh. I’m going to unpack it (but you don’t have to watch it - I transcribed the important bits of that linked interview).

So that sets that up. From this scene on, Kingsman mentors & their nominees get to spend 24 hours with each other - no training exercises or anything else to worry about. It’s evening, as the exercise they’d just completed had started with getting drugged in a nightclub.

Regarding the deleted scene, Taron Egerton shares what Matthew Vaughn said to him about why they deleted it:

Taron Egerton: The reason [Matthew Vaughn] told me was that it falls in a point in the film where dramatically the world is in jeopardy and it felt very odd for us to be sat eating a meal which is completely fair enough but I still have not seen it so I’m hoping someone cuts a version of it together and we see it on the DVD extras.

This is a rather silly explanation if the deleted scene was intended to occur somewhere inside that 24-hour time frame of Kingsman mentors & mentees spending downtime with each other “as tradition allows.”

After all, if we get to see Harry and Eggsy chillin’ & bonding at Harry’s house in his red tabloids room and then the following day in the Kingsman tailor shop, naturally you’d throw the relaxed bonding-over-breakfast scene in between those two. The world wasn’t in jeopardy enough to skip the red room and tailor shop scenes, so why was it in jeopardy for the breakfast scene? It really wasn’t.

Matthew Vaughn is great that he admitted it was an extra suggestive scene, though, and I completely understand why. Because if you look at the two other scenes (red room and tailor shop) that would’ve sandwiched the suggestive breakfast scene, I think perhaps everybody would at the very least suspect some martini-infused sexytimes between Harry and Eggsy had occurred that night. 

So let’s dig into that just a bit:

The very next scene after Merlin’s dismissing them is still evening - Harry’s house.

Harry and Eggsy have a chat in Harry’s red room, walls plastered with front page news celebrity nonsense. Eggsy expresses his doubt he’s Kingsman material. 

Harry: Nonsense. Being a gentleman has nothing to do with the circumstances of one’s birth. Being a gentleman is something one learns.

Eggsy: Yeah, but how?

Harry: All right, first lesson. You should’ve asked me before you took a seat.

(lol love that screencap)

Right after this moment, there’s a ‘break’ scene featuring Valentine complaining about how biometric scans hurt. Immediately after, the deleted breakfast scene would’ve been inserted (as the next scene of Harry & Eggsy happened in the late morning or afternoon).

Matthew Vaughn’s description of the scene: There was one scene we called ‘the floater’ where it literally went in and out - in - out - where… Colin Firth teaches Eggsy how to eat like a gentleman. So how to use all the cutlery and sort of Downton Abbey. But, it had a… pretty bad effect that it also looked like they might’ve slept with each other the night before… Cause he kinda comes down like “you ready for breakfast?” and Colin’s wearing an apron and Taron’s got his… little t-shirt on and y’know what… people might be misunderstanding what the scene’s all about so… we… decided to get rid of it. 

Might? lol Can you just imagine how blatant it would’ve been that Eggsy & Harry had spent the night together? The last scene of the evening is Harry suggesting he’ll teach Eggsy how to make a proper martini, then this little domestic deleted scene where Harry makes breakfast for Eggsy wearing an apron & Eggsy in his undershirt; they ‘resume’ their roles back into mentor-mentee as Harry decides he’ll teach Eggsy how to eat & whatnot.

The (shockingly literal) cherry on top is in the dialogue of the very next scene, where Harry makes a cherry pop innuendo that Eggsy’s thoroughly amused by…

Harry: Now, the first thing every gentleman needs is a good suit. By which I mean, a bespoke suit. Never off-the-peg. And Kingsman suits are always bulletproof. So let’s get you measured, and then, whether you get the job or not you’ll have a lasting and useful memento of your time at Kingsman.

Tailor: I’m so sorry, sir, but a gentleman is completing his fitting. Fitting room two is available.

…and that’s totally ignoring the intimacy involved in Harry wanting to clothe Eggsy in the first place, lol.

One last point that I never registered before watching this rewatching this movie: after Eggsy botches his last exercise and he can’t shoot his dog, he steals Arthur’s car to exact vengeance upon Dean who’d beaten his mother. Before that can happen, he’s driven back to Harry’s house by remote so Harry can yell at him for failing & stealing Arthur’s car. Their argument’s cut short when Merlin beeps Harry’s glasses and Harry’s set to fly to Kentucky.

When Harry arrives in Kentucky and attends the Church, Eggsy is still in Harry’s house (and watches the -fuckin’ awesome - massacre in the church in Harry’s red room), meaning he really did just stay right there and made himself at home the entire time Harry fly to Kentucky from London. It’s not that big of a deal, but it’s slightly suggestive that Eggsy was so comfy in that house to actually stay in it for so long. 


At the end of the day, I don’t think Hartwin is canon. My interpretation of their relationship in Secret Service was very much that of an endearing mentor & protege situation… and Golden Circle was brilliant in developing Eggsy and that relationship. At the same time, I don’t think of Harry & Eggsy’s relationship as a father-son dynamic - it’s surely reminiscent of one, but it’s just not a checkbox I can tick, the way I interpreted it - and so I fully understand why Hartwin exists as a ship: even in real life, many endearing mentor/protege relationships can develop into a mutual respect and love that shifts into romance. I can easily read Hartwin fanfiction, provided it’s got that kind of charming slowburn development of their relationship (fics that feature them hooking up between scenes during Secret Service are a lil less easy to run with for me).

Also, I think any evidence that Hartwin is canon based upon the deleted breakfast scene is thoroughly rejected by this one line of dialogue below (”him” refers to Eggsy’s father):

If Hartwin were canon based on that breakfast scene, that’s probably just about the last thing Harry would ever say to Eggsy if they’d hooked up night prior, eh? Because that’d just be weird (lol).

Still, there’s a lot of understandable and justifiable giggles to be had about how things would’ve come off if they’d kept that deleted scene where it was supposed to be. And that’s all this post is about.

It’s a super cute scene though, and I’m glad they incorporated it into Kingsman: Golden Circle. The way in which they inserted that scene was touching, and lacked any impetus to giggle over any suggestive undertones. Just goes to show how/why editing is so important, really. 

So, that’s pretty much it - thanks for reading!

The Vanilla Chronicles: Min Yoongi

Prompt:  Yoongi smut where the reader overhears Yoongi’s conversation about their sex life with another band member or friend and he was saying that she was boring or something and she decided to surprise him one day??? if that makes any sense?? thanks have a nice day/night!! xx

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warning: Sub!Yoongi

**THIS WAS FUCKING FUN TO WRITE // YOONGI IS MY NUMBER ONE BIAS WRECKER!

**Totally plays into my belief of BTS reeking of subission

**Constructive feedback is always welcomed!

**BTS smut/angst/fluff requests are open!

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