Summary: Y/N finds herself stricken with grief over Dean’s self-loathing; meanwhile, the elder Winchester is trying to come to terms with a newfound revelation of his feelings and how he can voice them out.
Warnings: Dean finding it hard to voice out his feelings, fluff, maybe a bit of angst?? Not entirely.
A/N: Will probably be making this into a series because I’m a sucker for Dean.
The idea was born out of me watching a few fanvids with our favorite hunter which show just how much he has been through. I mean, both Winchester’s have had to deal with a lot of crap, but my soft spot for Dean is what drove me to writing this.
The room is dead silent.
Save for the sound of hush snores and breaths and the whisper of window through vents and into the motel. Outside the sky spread across the city of Atlanta in a blanket of onyx, clusters of stars dotting it. Y/N lies still in her bed, eyes fixed on the ceiling, trying to tame the inner turmoil in her chest. Beside her the sheets shift. Dean says something, something about going to wash up before Sam wakes up, but she doesn’t quite catch him.
“Y/N!” he calls, snapping her from her reverie.
The young girl turns to him, head lolling against the pillow. “Yeah?”
“I said you should probably, too, since we still have some time.” She can’t see his face hidden in the pitch dark; she can’t see anything but the silhouette of the elder Winchester sitting up, his hair a disheveled mess atop his head.
“I should probably what?”
“Wash up?” He says it like its obvious. But Y/n doesn’t reply. Only continues staring at him, wide eyes, the light from the moon cast down on her face through the window—and the elder Winchester obviously notices this. Y/N spots a shift in his demeanor: attentive. Concerned. Even if she can’t see them, she guesses the elder Winchester’s eyes soften as he reaches out, touching her bare shoulder.
“Y/N,” Dean speaks. “You okay?”
“You’re an amazing person, you know that?” She blurts out.
The room silences once more.
Between them hangs a surprised quiet. Y/N is still on her back, still hazy-minded and emotional and fighting a hurricane raging in her chest. She can feel it bubble up her throat, spreading through her lungs, suffocating her. Soon she won’t be able to breathe. Soon, in this dim-lit and quiet room perfumed with her emotions, she will turn blue-faced and asphyxiated, because it’s too much.
He’s too much.
He is selfish, and yet altruistic; he is stern and authoritative, as disciplined as a soldier, but kind; Dean is self-sacrificial and generous and swollen with love and yet such despondent and negative emotions picked up as souvenirs from the life he has had to live . He is human, and a paradox in itself and Dean is good and Dean has always been good…
And it hurts Y/N to know that he doesn’t see this…
A moment ago, as she’d lay in his embrace, having to listen to him tear himself down; berate his image, hate himself because of a hunt gone bad. Two teenagers whose parents were vampires. They hadn’t managed to stop them and the kids died, and Dean was mourning his failure and the loss of two innocents. Y/N listened attentively to him as he’d spoke, and felt a wound in her heart coming undone. She feels tears brimming at her eyes just looking at him, at this man who doesn’t feel the way she does about him. This man who sees himself as a completely polar opposite of the reality. Y/N has known Dean for a long time, and she knows what he thinks of himself, what he wrongly assumes he is, and it hurts her.
For he has done so much for her, he has proven his own assumptions wrong and been her light in the dark of their lives, and all she wants is to do the same for the man she loves.
“What?” Dean asks in a hushed tone. She sniffles. There are tears beginning to roll down her face and she’s pretty sure he can see them from the way the light shines through the window.
“I said…” Y/N starts. “That you are an amazing human being, Dean Winchester. You—you are…good, and genuine, and you are my best friend. It hurts me to know that you don’t see this in yourself.”
“Y/N….” Dean tries to speak, but she cuts him off.
“No, okay? …”
“I didn’t save them.” He says sternly. “I could have, but I didn’t and now they’re dead. Don’t try and make me feel better for not doing my job.”
“But you tried—dammit, Dean, you tried. You did your best and your heart was in the right place.” She sniffles, rubbing her palm across her burning eyes. God, she hates this—hates herself for letting it come to the point where she’s in tears, but that’s just how strongly she feels about this matter. “Dean, I’m telling you now—you are a good man. Stop beating yourself up over this, over everything. I’ve known you for what—five? Six years? I know that me telling you this might be useless, but…..”
Y/N bites her lip, trying to level her voice. Between them hangs a deafening silence, ominous, painful. Dean is crying, she soon realizes. Quiet, pained tears that she only knows about when she hears his breath wobble as inhales.
Sitting up, she shifts and moves closer to the elder Winchester, pulling him in. His head rests in the crook of her neck, and she feels him shudder—vulnerable. Dean never lets anyone see him vulnerable, but maybe he should, because the weight he carries on his shoulders is too much not to.
The elder Winchester gulps thickly. “Y/n…”
“It’s okay….”She whispers, cradling his head to her chest, tears running down her cheeks, and the green-eyed hunter sniffles, and his tears touch her skin and it takes all of Y/n’s strength to not shatter.
Leaning back against the headboard, she brings the elder Winchester’s head to rest on her shoulder and he lets her in the quiet. The night drawls on—they stay like that. Together; quiet; feeling. Y/N cards her fingers through his hair as he sleeps, and when he stirs a bit she stops. Her hand floats from his head and rests beside the pillow.
Morning breaks with a burst of light beaming into the motel room and onto the two hunters. Y/N is awake, still holding Dean as she had been through the entire night, still drunk off his kisses and her emotions.
Tilting her head, she peers down at him. His eyes are shut and his breath fans against her bare skin, tickling it. “Dean?” She whispers, tentative and hush and desperate to not shatter the intimacy around them. “Are you awake?”
She waits for a response that doesn’t come, until the elder Winchester lets out an incoherent mumble, and then lolls his head to the side lazily.
His eyes flutter open as Y/N’s face splits into smile, and she continues her strokes on his hair. “Morning.”
“Did you stay up all night?” Dean asks, and she nods. “Why? I could have managed without you watching over me while I slept.”
“I wanted to.” Y/N shrugs, smoothing out stubborn strands of sandy-hair that stick up in all directions. She says it so easy, like she’s telling him her hobby, like it’s his hobby too. Like the previous night they hadn’t made love and she hadn’t pulled him out of the pit of his melancholy.
And Dean looks at her, right here, right now—really looks at her.
At her eyes and the rim of y/e/c embellished with flecks of gold, at hers lips and her ears and the wrinkles and creases drawn out in her tired skin, telling her story. Their story. They’ve been together for so long, now. Have been through so much, and the scars and blemishes and cuts and bruises painting Y/N’s skin matching Dean’s is enough of an alibi.
They’ve spent years together. It feels like a lifetime. And Dean loves that, and he loves her, and he wouldn’t trade anything for it because….He…loves her.
He has loved Y/N for years and he will continue to love her.
The realization is sudden and daunting. Out of nowhere, the green-eyed hunter’s heart begins to race, and his palms begin to sweat and he’s panicking, God, he’s panicking because Dean loves her.
And she loves him.
They leave the motel within the next hour once Sam arrives. Y/N runs a quick shower then brushes her teeth and Sam tells them about the vampire nest he took out. Dean pretends to listen even though he isn’t. He can’t. He’s ruminating over this new earth-shattering realization.
They’ve been dating for months; they’ve been sleeping in the same bed. They’ve been touching—God, they’ve been touching—but it is only now that his heart has chosen to drop this bombshell on his. This feeling; this plague.
What is to him? What can it be for the two them? All this time being with Y/N, Dean has avoided the thought. But the truth is the truth—it’s been lurking in the back of his mind, nudging at his conscience, asking his what if; what if it’s possible, what if he’s the one, and now all these questions are answered.
They sit in the car and begin to drive. The entire journey is spent with their fingers intertwined as Dean drives and his heart a mangled mess hammering in his chest. Y/N and Sam are laughing and talking about the hunt and Cas. He’s waiting for them at home, apparently, but Dean can’t bring himself to care about anything right now, because God, this is torture.
“Feeling okay?” Y/N asks him. The elder Winchester casts a brief glance at her, taking his eyes off the road.
“Just tired.” He answers, nodding. Lying.
But Y/n doesn’t push. Instead, she gives him a sad smile, squeezes his hand in hers, and Dean has to resist from swerving off the road.
His entire body feels electric and like its buzzing when they get home. He kills the engine and Sam and Y/N hoist their things onto their backs and clamber out, making their way into the house. Dean follows suit.
In the library, Castiel sits in waiting, and then rises once he hears the sound of footsteps. They say their hellos. Dean gives him a hug—he’s truly happy to see him—, they exchange pleasantries, and then he retreats into his room, his alibi being that he’s not feeling good.
When he’s alone, finally, the elder Winchester shuts the door behind him and then leans against it, dropping his bags onto the floor. His head tips back and his eyes shut.
Finally alone. Finally able to gather his thoughts. The hammering in his chest has slowed, and Dean immediately strips himself of his jacket and tosses it on the bed, left in nothing but his undershirt as he goes to sit at the edge. With his head bowed, he cards his fingers through his hair.
He needs to tell her.
Soon, as soon as possible. Dean has been a hunter all his life—he knows just how fleeting life is. He knows how one minute you’re there and the next you’re not, and thinking about Y/N never getting to hear him utter those three words to her makes his heart wrench. Not only once, either.
Dean wants to say it over and over.
To chant it, to sing it—his heart feels swollen with love and a craving and a peace that comes with knowing, and he wants to proclaim that, but how? He wonders.
That’s all he can do, for now. Wonder. Think. And that’s all he does for the rest of the evening, and that’s he does when he goes to sleep, and Dean wracks his mind over and over for the confidence he needs to utter those three words to Y/N, but it seems impossible.
He wonders how she does it so easily. ~*~*~*~
This is just a reminder to all of you: Dean is an absolutely
complex and imperfectly perfect and sweet human being who is just trying
to work through his emotions and get through this hell of a life;
please don’t forget.
Likes and reblogs are always welcome! Also, feel free to follow me to keep updated when i post part 2, or maybe even have it dedicated to you..? Just message me and let me know :)
Players can compete in local wireless matches or online over a broadband Internet connection.
The game supports both SpotPass and StreetPass features.
Players can show their own style by customizing their vehicles
with accessories that give them a competitive advantage. For instance,
giant tires help a kart drive off-road, while smaller tires work best on
People can choose to race as one of their favorite Mushroom Kingdom characters or even as their Mii character.
The Mario Kart franchise continues to evolve. New kart abilities
add to the wild fun that the games are known for. On big jumps, a kart
deploys a wing to let it glide over a track shortcut. When under water, a
propeller pops out to help the kart cruise across the sea floor.
Ready To Go Anywhere Toyota TRD Pro Chase Trucks Make First Stop at SEMA
Toyota Celebrates Its Performance Legacy - Past, Present and Future
Toyota’s 2014 Specialty Equipment Market Association (SEMA) Show presence will be focused on its performance legacy - past, present and future.
As Toyota Racing Development (TRD) celebrates its 35th anniversary this year, the renowned engineering and motorsports division will have a prominent role in Toyota’s SEMA space. TRD-engineered components add to the sporting intent of almost every vehicle on display.
TRD Chase Trucks Specs
2015 TRD 4Runner
TRD Pro suspension TRD off-road tires and wheels Undercover hidden winch mount system DC Safety off-road emergency kit Small cooler w/holder Rigid E-series light bars: 40" (roof), 30" (bumper), 10" amber (rear-facing), 10" clear (rear-facing) Lowrance 5" GPS RCI chase radio w/antenna Smittybilt 27046b Beaver step Smittybilt 97495 XRC 9.5k winch, Gen 2 Smittybilt 40504 Defender rack Smittybilt 2784 Overlander tint N-Fab T104RKR4 rockrail with detachable step N-Fab rear tailgate set Headrest TRD logo Superior Dash carbon-fiber interior kit ARB shade tent
2015 TRD Tacoma
TRD Pro suspension TRD off-road tires and wheels Undercover hidden winch mount system DC Safety off-road emergency kit Small cooler w/holder Coleman large metal cooler Rigid E-series 40" light bar mounted with N-Fab mount Rigid E-series 30" (bumper) Lowrance 7" GPS Radio chase RCI radios w/antenna Smittybilt 2747 power air tank Jegs Pro alum. jack, 2.0 ton w/skid Smittybilt 97495 XRC 9.5k winch, Gen 2 Smittybilt 2809 aluminum fairlead with misc. 8g/10g connectors Atlas sling N-Fab T054BR custom bed bar N-Fab T0530LD light bar w/hoop N-Fab T054RKRCC rockrail with detachable step N-Fab T0540LR roof mount Full leather two tone interior with TRD logo in headrest Superior Dash carbon-fiber interior kit
2015 TRD Tundra
TRD Pro suspension TRD off-road tires and wheels Undercover hidden winch mount system DC Safety off-road emergency kit Small cooler w/holder Coleman large metal cooler Rigid E-series light bars: 40" (roof), 30" (bumper), 10" amber (rear-facing), 10" clear (rear-facing) Lowrance 7" GPS RCI chase radio w/antenna Toff spray-on liner Smittybilt 2747 power air tank Smittybilt 27046b Beaver step Hunsaker 11 gallon fuel jug Jegs Pro alum. jack, 2.0 ton w/skid Smittybilt 9797412 XRC 12k winch, Gen 2 Smittybilt 2761 security storage Atlas sling custom tie-downs and straps Smittybilt 40504 Defender rack, cut and reconfigured N-Fab custom bed cage w/tire carriers N-Fab T0730LD front light bar w/hoop N-Fab T074RKRQC rock rail with detachable step Headrest TRD logo Superior Dash carbon-fiber interior kit
What? I can use my own experiences for aokaga drabbles! Although I would have given my left tit to have Aomine pull over and help me, but alas, I’m still with two tiddies. This will have a second part tomorrow. Enjoy!
Kagami hit his steering wheel hard as he growled. He slammed
his car into park, not that it was going anywhere, and stepped out. It was
almost one in the morning and he was stuck. On a hill. In the snow.
“Just fuck me why don’t you?!”
He glared up at the snow, thoroughly blaming Mother Nature
for the freak storm instead of the fact he didn’t have proper snow tires on his
car. He refused to admit it was his own fault he was stuck like this. He made
sure to reach back into the car and press the alert blinkers on so people would
know to go around him. The annoying part was he knew he could push the car out,
but who was going to steer and drive away once he got off of this damned hill?
Sighing heavily, he reached into his phone and flipped through his contacts.
The only person he knew who had a car able to make it out in this weather would
be Akashi, and damned him if he’d rather freeze than call his old friend.
Friend wasn’t even the appropriate word for what they were, but it was what it
was. He was about to suck his pride up and hit send to Akashi, the weather really freezing his balls, when a pair
of headlights illuminated him. He expected the car to go around him, but to his
surprise it pulled over behind him and parked.
He pocketed his phone and put his hand up, blocking the
bright lights from his eyes as he squinted. Apparently the driver realized he
was blinding Kagami and the lights immediately turned off. Kagami blinked a few
times to clear his vision as he heard the crunch of snow under boots, the other
driver already gotten out of his car and headed for him.
“You need some help?”
“Yeah! That’d be great, thank you. Sorry to stop you like
The voice, deep and full of gravel, hummed, “You didn’t. I
stopped myself. I’ll go around and pull you up the hill. That way I know for
sure you make it all the way and don’t have to stop again further up.”
Kagami finally looked at the guy with clear eyes, his voice catching
in his throat a bit before he replied, “Yeah, that’d be great. Your car can do
that though? In this weather?”
Kagami didn’t take his eyes off the man in front of him as
the guy looked back at his car and gave a slight smirk. The car in question was
actually a small suv, possibly a Jeep, but Kagami couldn’t really tell in the
dark. It had everything meant to go off road, especially the large tires, which
looked as if they could crush humans let alone snow.
“Yeah, she’ll do fine. Let me pull around and hook you up,”
the man didn’t waste time as he went back to his car and turned it on, the
engine letting out a low rumble rather than a roar, the noise more intimidating
than any sports car Kagami had ever heard. The guy was right as he easily
pulled out from behind Kagami’s stuck car and parked in the front, his car having no trouble with the
Kagami went to the front and watched the guy start unraveling
a line of some sort of steel cable with a large hook. As soon as the stranger
went to bend down to hook the cable under Kagami’s front bumper, Kagami hastily
stopped him, his hand on the guy’s forearm. They both looked at the contact
between them before the stranger locked eyes with Kagami.
“I can do it. I don’t want you to have to lay in the cold
snow for my car. You’re already helping plenty,” Kagami hastily spoke, the guy’s
intense blue eyes boring into his.
The guy took a moment longer to stare at Kagami before he
handed the hook and cable over, “Sure. Thanks.”
The ground was as cold as Kagami expected as he lay on his
back and stuck his head under his front bumper to find a solid place for the
hook. It only took a moment as he secured the line and stood back up, brushing
the snow and slush from his back as much as possible.
“Ok done. I’ll just get in and put it in drive and make sure
I’m not steering into a ditch,” Kagami smiled at the stranger, the guy staring
at him still.
“Sure. It would make more sense if I just pulled you home
though. I don’t feel comfortable just leaving you in this weather.”
Kagami hummed thoughtfully as he weighed the pros and cons
of having the stranger pull him home. The pros definitely outnumbered the cons
as the stranger was extremely attractive, his voice was like a sinful heaven to
Kagami’s ears, and he seemed to be genuinely caring for others. Of course the
con was a big one: he could try to stalk Kagami or worse, kill him if he knew
where Kagami lived. His mental list didn’t go unnoticed as the guy reached into
his back pocket and pulled out his wallet and then a card, handing it to
“I’m a detective for the station just downtown. My name’s
Aomine Daiki, as seen on the card, and my Chief can be reached at that number
listed. I promise not to do anything strange, but if you’d feel better calling
him to check me out, feel free. I live just up the hill myself so it’s no trouble
to take you home if you’re that way as well.”
Kagami studied the card before he put it in his own wallet
before giving Aomine a kind smile, “Don’t worry. I believe you. If you’re a
creepy stalker or something, I’ll make sure to give your boss a call. And
thanks again. I live at the new condos just up the hill.”
Aomine let a noise of interest escape him, “Yeah? Weird. I
live in the same place.”
“Really? What a coincidence. What number?”
One of Aomine’s eyes squinted at Kagami as he gave him a
hard look, “What if you’re the stalker here?”
Kagami laughed and put his hands up innocently, “You don’t
have to tell me, I was just curious. I don’t have a card to give you, but I
work at the fire station just a couple blocks back. My name’s Kagami Taiga and
my boss is Kiyoshi Teppei. If you need the number to call the station, I’d
gladly give it to you.”
Aomine grunted and shook his head, “Nah. Let’s just head up
and get out of the cold. You park in the underground parking?”
“Good. I’ll just head towards that, then unhook you when we’re
out of the snow. Try to steer as straight as possible and when you get purchase
under your tires don’t hit the back of my car.”
Kagami nodded with understanding, “Sounds good. Thanks
Aomine for this. You’re a lifesaver.”
Another grunt and shrug was given before Aomine climbed into
his Jeep. Kagami did the same with his car and put it into drive before
flashing his lights, letting Aomine know he was ready. He watched Aomine’s Jeep
start moving then he felt his own car pull forward. He was amazed at how easily
his extremely stuck car came out of his snowy ditch. It just proved even more
how prepared Aomine was for this weather when Kagami wasn’t. He watched the
back of the car in front of him as they both moved together through the snow,
the cable the only thing connecting them.