off flavors

  • Ravenclaw: *wakes up in a cold sweat*
  • Ravenclaw: Oh shit I slept in!
  • Ravenclaw: *Remembers it's Saturday*
  • Ravenclaw: *immediately goes back to sleep*
4

Crowley and Lucifer // A delightful surprise // All Along the Watchtower 

The Domestic Garden Witch: Not So Jarring Kitchen Herbs

So maybe you’re a college witch with limited space and money, limited to the one window in your dorm. Or, maybe you’re a witch without extensive backyard space who wants to start up a magical garden. Perhaps you’re a kitchen witch who wants the freshest herbs right at her fingertips.

For many witches, having a garden seems to be a bit of a no-brainer. After all, plants and magic go hand-in-hand. Plus, when thinking of a witch, it’s hard not to think of a cottage in the woods with a little vegetable garden out front. Unfortunately for the majority of us, our cottage in the woods is a tiny flat, and our garden out front is a windowsill with limited space.

This is when it comes time to embrace your craftiness and bring your garden indoors! Not only does it place your garden in a convenient location, it also allows you to freshen the air, recycle what would otherwise harm the earth, and embrace your witchy green thumb!

Apple Sauce, Jars, and Kitchen Herbs

Let’s face it. I work in an Italian kitchen, and much of the cooking I do at home is also influenced by Italian cuisine. As a result, I find myself constantly in need of herbs such as parsley, basil, rosemary, oregano, and thyme. While all of these plants are fairly easy to grow in various gardens, sometimes you need something inexpensive, easy, and within arm’s reach when cooking.

For this project, all you need is a few mason jars (if you don’t have any lying around, mason jars are very inexpensive and sold at most grocery stores in the canning aisle), some apple sauce snack cups (preferably consumed and cleaned), some wooden wicks (easily purchased online from companies such as the Candlewic Company), water, soil, seeds, and a box cutter or Xacto knife.

Make an incision in the center of the bottom of the apple cup long enough to fit the end of the wick. Insert the wick and fill the cup with soil and seeds. Remove the lid from the mason jar, discard the topper disc, and fill part way with water before resting the edge of the cup on the rim of the jar. Screw on the fastening ring, and voila! You have a very simple, very cheap herb garden to place in the windowsill. Since the wick passively draws water, the only time you’ll need to add water is when the jar runs out or when the water level isn’t high enough to be in contact with the wick.

Pro-tip: Be sure to trim the plants regularly - this is a garden meant to be harvested from regularly so that it doesn’t get too large. If needed, the roots can also be pruned and trimmed to help keep the plant small. If your plants begin to bud, pinch the buds off to encourage large, flavorful leaves.

How Can I Witch This?

When it comes to incorporating witchcraft into a simple garden like this, the possibilities are aplenty! Consider enchanting the water or using moon water in the jar, or if you’re into using crystals, place amethyst or clear quartz into the jars to help empower the water. Decorate the jars with sigils, runes, and symbols for growth, health, and prosperity!

The soil itself can be worked with, incorporating eggshell, ashes, or other magical substances that can help encourage the plants to grow healthy and large. You can also label the jars for their respective herbs and incorporate decorations on the label that correspond with the herbs you’re growing!

Consider different ways where you can incorporate magic into growing your herbs with this type of garden, and how it can help you with your kitchen witchery!

May your harvests always be bountiful!

Blessed Be! )O(

jakeburnsthings  asked:

I'd just like to say: Chloe coming into the Dupain-Cheng bakery specifically when Marinette's on cash register duty and asks the names of pastries she already knows but just wants to hear Marinette talk, and eventually Marinette catches on but does nothing because she enjoys talking to Chloe

………………………

….goddammit

Words: 1968


Sabine smirked as she pulled a tray of croissants from the oven. “Marinette. I think your favorite customer is here.”

Marinette finished tying her apron behind her back and was pulling her hair up and away from her face as she got ready for her register shift. “Who now?”

Sabine jutted her chin towards the front of the bakery and Marinette followed her gaze, allowing herself a sigh and a small smirk when she saw who was meandering near the counter. “Stop teasing, maman.”

“It’s not teasing,” Sabine said. “She comes only on the days when you’re working and seems rather enchanted with all of our palmier flavors. Moreso than anyone else I’ve ever seen…”

“Oh hush, maman!” Marinette blushed, gently tapping her mother’s shoulder. “It’s nothing like that.”

“Don’t keep the poor thing waiting,” Sabine smiled as she carried the croissants to the counters in the back. “She must be eager to see you if she came right when your shift started.”

Marinette puffed her cheeks out and headed to the counter where Chloe Bourgeois was waiting, leaving her mother laughing and grinning behind her. 

It started when Chloe had to come into the bakery to order a huge commission of mini-cupcakes for a dinner she and her father were holding. Because Chloe loved being difficult, Marinette had to take out all of their sample books, explain all of their flavors, all of their frostings, all of their fillings, and all of their options for garnishes for close to twenty-five minutes before Chloe was satisfied. Marinette thought Chloe was making her explain herself so much for the sake of being annoying until she came in the next day asking for detailed descriptions of all the chocolate cakes they had on display for no other reason aside from her being “curious about your selection of dark chocolates.” Marinette’s father was too close by at the time for her to tell Chloe to buzz off, so she humored her for twenty minutes before Chloe settled with just buying a regular old palmier and left without buying a single cake. 

It was maddening, and for the next couple of weeks Chloe would come into the bakery when Marinette was working and ask her to rattle off all that she knew about their pastries, breads, cakes, rush orders, and catering plans….only to leave without having bought anything she had shown such a deep interest in. 

It was ridiculous to think Chloe had a passion for baked goods, otherwise she’d bother her parents about this. It wasn’t as if Chloe was using this as an opportunity to make fun of Marinette seeing how she was oddly quiet and attentive whenever Marinette spoke. It wasn’t until last week that Marinette had finally picked up on the obvious. 

Chloe came just to hear Marinette talk. 

Keep reading

The food printer is an appliance from Runaway to the Stars, used a lot in spaceships for ready-made “foodlike” products. It’s not good at making anything that cannot be recreated as a smooth paste or slurry, so it mostly gets used for stuff like bread, tofu, sausage, egg, juice, porridge, chips, and etc. The products are usually pretty junky… ie., high carbs, high fat, and over-seasoned to compensate for slightly ‘off’ flavor and texture. The very fancy ones can make a wider variety of food pastes cooked in more interesting ways than baked/fried, but they’re bloody expensive and only found on huge ships or in space ports. Smaller ships usually also have a huge freezer and a regular kitchen, so they can stock up on better, tastier food at ports. The Staraways crew has a HumBugBird model for feeding their coed crew, and Talita has her personal centaur food printer that she’s owned and eaten from for the majority of her life. Someone…. get this poor girl some real meat…

I’m a biologist, not an engineer, so this is my best shot at drawing one. If anyone with more experience in this area wants to talk about scifi appliances, feel free to hit me up.

REQUESTED - April Fools

Request: is April fools and reader is a prankster and is playing pranks in everyone except Bucky and they go out on a date in the day to escape the results? - Anon

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1,936

Warnings: Cursing, Angst, mention of death of a close relative, FLUFF

A/N: Gosh, I took so long that it pains me AAAAAAA. SORRY, BABE! Anyway, I REACHED 300 FOLLOWERS AND I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT THANK YOU SO MUCH! <3 

MASTERLIST


Originally posted by love-buckybarnes


You were a prankster on normal days, but it was April Fools.  

You had pranked every single person of that team, every single one of them, minus Bucky.

He didn’t know why; you pranked Steve, messing with his shield; you pranked Peter on his first day there, using a trap to turn him upside down in front of the whole team; you even pranked Natasha, for Christ’s sake! And that was like signing your suicide note! So why wouldn’t you prank him?

“Okay, everyone knows that plan, right?”

“Yeah, stay out of her sight and no one gets pranked.” Sam huffed, he would actually love to join you in your prank session day, but he didn’t know if he was a target himself.

“Good morning, family.” You yawned, entering the kitchen and ignoring their frozen figures.

“Morning, Doll,” Bucky mumbled back, away from everyone since he was never a target and they saw no reason to include them into their run away plans. “What sort of mischievous plans you got for today?” You chuckled, smiling innocently at the team that was carefully watching you grab your cereal.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Buck.” He laughed at your fake sweet voice, when you passed next to him, you couldn’t help but place a kiss on his cheek, watching them turn red.

Sitting by Bucky’s side, you looked at them expectantly as if you were waiting for something to happen.

“C’mon, Y/N. Tell me what do I have to expect. Slime on my armor, again? Maybe bouncing balls all over my workshop?” Tony asked, leaning over the Kitchen’s Counter and watching your mischievous smile grow wider.

“Hey, James. Want to go out with me for a day?” You got closer to him, seeing his surprised face as you lead your lips to his ears so you could whisper: “The tower won’t be safe for a while.”

Bucky ignored the chill that ran down his spine with having you that close and nodded his head, turning his eyes back at the huge amount of eggs, trying to control his heartbeats, but it was something hard to do when your bare leg was brushing against his.


“You have to! We won’t be able to do anything today if you don’t find out for us what is this year’s prank!” Clint tugged into Bucky’s backpack, while the others followed him, begging for the same thing.

“What make you guys think she will even tell me?”

“Because she told you today that the tower won’t be safe!” Narrowing his eyes at Steve, Bucky crossed his eyes in front of his chest “Yes, I was eavesdropping, but it’s for the greater good!”

“We told her last year that she wouldn’t get us in this!” Bucky wondered if it was at the time he was under and the cause for you not to prank him.

“I’m sure she won’t do anything that can harm.” Rolling his eyes, he entered the elevator with Tony, cocking a brow at him.

“The hell I’ll stay in this tower, just waiting to be pranked.” Both of men entered the garage, finding you ready and with a smirk on your lips.

“Going out, Tony?” Bucky chuckled, handing you one helmet and getting on his Harley, waiting for you to do the same, but you stood next to him, giggling and watching the Iron Man get closer to his car, that made him narrow his eyes at the car before heading to the one next, you laughed louder before controlling it.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y, can you do a scan on the cars and search for any bombs, eggs, gas or anything out of common, please?” Tony smirked at you while you crossed your arms and leaned next to Bucky.

“I want to see this, wait a second, okay, love?” He blushed at the pet calling and did as told, resting his feet on the ground and waiting for whatever you prepared.

Scan complete, sir. There is nothing out of common with your cars.”

“Just like there was nothing wrong with his armor and workshop?” Tony groaned in frustration and headed back to the elevator, cursing under his breath and leaving you laughing behind.

“Was it going to make ‘bum’?” Sitting behind him after putting the helmet, you chuckled and shrugged your shoulders after hugging him by the waist. “Where do you want to go?”

“Surprise me.”


“So… What do you have prepared for them today?” Bucky asked after checking the innumerous amount of messages that the team bombarded him. You took your eyes out of the sea, crossing your legs and grinning sweetly at him, noticing how the chilly morning sun made his eyes glisten and match the water.

“I’ll tell you when the day ends.” He got lost on your sweet smile, it wasn’t fake like the ones you use to tease Tony and annoy Sam. It was purely you.

“Will you tell me if I buy you ice cream?” Giving Bucky a hearted laugh, you shrugged your shoulders.

“I can think about that.” He hasn’t seen that side of your, the one with the soft voice and calm expression.

Maybe once or twice when you were reading a book and not around the team.

“I’ll be right back, don’t run away.” You laughed at his playful sentence as he got up, brushing the sand off his pants. “What flavor do you want?”

“I trust you to choose a yummy one, for me.” Those words meant more to him than it probably should have. But, there was something about you trusting him for something, that made a nice feeling pass all over his body.

“Ok… I’ll be right back.” You smiled, nodding with your head and continuing to watch the sea with a peaceful look on your eyes.

Bucky stood on his place for some seconds, watching how you breathed slowly, enjoying the moment and temperature, the soft sun on your skin.

When he got back, you had your eyes closed and face up to the sky, and for the – he lost the count – time, Bucky found himself getting lost on you.

“My Popsicle is going to melt, Soldier.” You chuckled, opening your eyes and smiling quietly at him before extending your hands at him; Feeling his cheeks heating, he handed you your ice cream and took a sit by your side again. Both of you stood in a comfort silence, enjoying each other companies and humming softly when needed.

“So… Why did you never pranked me?” Bucky asked casually, trying not to sound so curious; you took two minutes to answer the question and shrugging your shoulders, you played with the wood stick.

“I don’t know. I guess I just can’t… find a way to trick you. And honestly, I never wanted. You never gave me a reason to do it.” He sighed in relief, making you chuckle and arch a brow at him.

“I thought you didn’t like me.” Laughing, you denied with your head; it didn’t take long for Bucky to follow you, grabbing a hold on his stomach and laying on the sand by your side.

“Why would I?” You turned to face him, losing the air of your lungs when you saw his tinted cheeks and wrinkles next to his eyes, caused by the wide smile he held.

“I don’t know! Is just that you would never mess with me and I saw how you acted with everyone as if they were your siblings.” He shrugged his shoulders, ignoring the feeling of the rusty sand that got up on the beach mat – which you brought as soon as you got there – on his neck.

He turned his face at you, smiling softly and appreciating how close you were to him.

“I could never dislike you.” Bucky’s heart dropped at your sincere statement; again, you surprised him with sweet words, ones that he wasn’t used to hearing.

“I appreciate that.” You chuckled, getting up and extending him your hand.

“Let’s get lunch, then, I want to take you somewhere.” He smiled and nodded his head, accepting your hand and feeling his lips stretch even further when you didn’t let go of his hand, holding it while rolling the mat.

Bucky couldn’t help but to ask – and wish - himself it people that saw them, holding hands, mat on the other while he had the helmets, thought that they were just a couple in a Sunday morning walk on the beach.


“Turn right.” You said, loud enough for him to listen. “It’s here.”

He stopped the motorcycle, resting one feet on the ground and eyeing the old building in front of him.

“Where are we?” Getting on your feet and grinning, you took off the helmet, waiting with excitement for him to get out of the motorcycle.

“We are not there yet, but you’ll understand as soon as you get your pretty little ass out of there and follow me.” You giggled, running backward into the old and abandoned structure. Bucky found himself laughing yet again, following you on your little run.

“Y/N?”

“In here!” He opened the heavy door, sucking the air in awe when he saw the view. You had your arms outstretched to your sides, smiling widely and showing the view of the city.

“This is…” You grabbed his flesh hand, carefully pulling him to the edge of the terrace, sitting and patting the spot at your side.

The sun was already getting down, the sky painted in purple and orange, the cool breeze caressing his skin and hair, the city from far away was starting to light.

Literally.

All of the buildings and lighting poles were switching up, dot by dot, the city gain its so known bright.

“I used to come here, you know, before Hydra… I used to sit here for hours and wait to watch this.” Bucky finally took the eyes from the beautiful view to look at other just as – if not prettier – image.

He didn’t knew much about you, yeah, he knew about your life in Hydra and after that, but not before that.

You never told anyone.

“One day, I was late to watch the lights.” You chuckled, a nostalgic aura surrounding you, clouding your eyes. “So I escalated this very wall. I almost fell, my brother almost lost his shit right there.”

“You have a brother?”

Had… Hydra needed two persons with DNA that were alike or some shit like that.”

There was a brief moment of silence, but Bucky didn’t think twice before placing his hand on top of yours.

“Why are you telling me this? Why did you bring me here?” You shrugged your shoulders.

“I guess this is how I try to say that I like you.”

His heart dropped at your words, how could you like him?

Your eyes met his, and since Bucky wasn’t good with words, he did the first thing that came to his mind.

He kissed you softly, cupping your cheek with his metal hand and sighing in content when you kissed him back.

“I like you too.” You smiled, grabbing the hand that was on your cheek; when you were about to kiss him again, the buzzing sound of his phone made you both jump slightly.

“Oh, just a second.” Bucky widened his eyes when he checked on the messages and pictures of the team paranoid. “Uh, I know is a mood killer, but… What is this year’s prank?” You laughed before giving him a quick peck on his lips.

“There is none.”

“What?”

“Yeah, this year’s prank is that there isn’t one. I knew they would lose their minds and wait for it, but it will never come.” Smiling devilishly at him, you watched him laugh loudly, kissing you again multiple times, saying between them:

“You. Little. Devilish. Thing.” And you couldn’t be happier.


Condemn to a forever tagging: @fangirlandnerd @noones-girl1980 @myplaceofthingsilove @hopelessgarbage @elaacreditava

All Bucky: @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x

anonymous asked:

cooking + beronica

veronica “ive-had-a-personal-chef-since-i-was-three” lodge can actually cook. it surprises betty the first time veronica rolls up her sleeves, breaks out the pots and pans, and makes her a warm meal that doesn’t even end up tasting like fred andrews’ half baked cooking from her days of running around with archie as a kid.

she’d smeared the end product on betty’s awed face and explained it like this; “you fix cars with your dad, i cooked with mine.”

it quickly becomes bettys favorite pass time to drag veronica into her too-big kitchen, wearing a too-big shirt, plopping down on top of the counter and watching her girlfriend cook. veronica always insists that betty helps and taste tests, which usually means she’s kissing flavor off veronica’s lips, rather than a spoon.

Aquarius female: Mind, Body, and Soul ♒

She’s grace, she’s odd, she’s a goddess in human form, she’s the Aquarian female, the original water bearer of the Gods. Unlike her male counterpart who was a mortal hand picked by Zeus to become the new immortal cupbearer, Ganymede, Hebe was born an immortal. ‘Daughter’ of Hera (it was actually Hera in her virgin form), she was born a goddess who was nonetheless pleased to carry the task of self-rejuvenation to pour out immortal life sustenance and give divine substance. She’s a beautiful mutant, a saving grace to all, to both Humanity and the Gods. She rules the 11th house of future goals, community objectives, and spiritual unity.

She is wise beyond her years and she has a deep understanding of human behavior and divinity that go hand in hand. Separating the two would limit human spiritual experience. But she’s not so full of herself to be so self-absorbed by her own ego, unlike her male counterpart, she is humble and she rather invest her time and energy pouring herself onto anyone who she comes across. She is ready to serve those in need and who wish to experience heaven here on earth. She’s love, grace, and hope and she endows those same qualities unto the collective community. She’s unjudgemental, understanding, and hopeful and she instills self-confidence and self-motivation unto others. Anyone around her can feel incapable of any wrongdoing, she’s intoxicatingly beautiful inside and out and highly addictive.

She pours herself unto men. Making zero judgement or living up to societies expectations. Thinking of ways how to better serve others and make others happy, often neglecting her own needs. But, she keeps on living with that optimistic and whimsical attitude. Being a cheerleader to the underdogs and anyone who seems to be broken. Championing for those impoverished souls, standing up and becoming symbols of Hope, and fighting against opression and societies detriments. Becoming self-empowered women with great influence over others so that they themselves can become empowered. One can see this trait in famous Aquarian females: Susan B. Anthony, Rosa Parks, Virginia Wolf, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Oprah Winfrey, and Ellen DeGeneres.

Most might assume that she’s making up for all this kindness due to her own faults and misery. But quite the contraire. She’s so pure in her intentions that most people end up taking advantage of our poor Aquarian. Including the men in her life. One might mistake her as a doormat due to her tendency to tolerate her partners idiosyncrasies as she usually ends up with an overbearing partner. Unlike the Aquarian male who’s striving to become this guru sent down from Mt. Olympus, she searches for a partner who she can mold herself into. A husband she can look up to and become one with. She subconsciously looks for odd characers, underdogs, misunderstood men. A man who has so much potential for greatness. And who better to help him achieve such status if not our rejuvenating cheerleader?

The problem with this vision is that she usually ends up with men who trample all over our Aquarian. And because she’s so compliant and graceful in relationships, she keeps quiet. Tolerating his behavior, keeping score, and counting the days when she’ll permanently walk away. She’s not a doormat nor a pushover as many believe. No. What she is doing is giving her all in her relationships so when the day comes that she needs to walk away, she will walk away for good with no guilt whatsoever. She gives her heart, mind, and soul to her partner and whatever he does with that, falls on him, not on her. So when her ex regrettably comes back remorseful for having treated our Aquarian wrongly, she’ll lay out all the cards she’s kept to herself all those years. Her ex will be left speechless, begging for forgiveness and a second opportunity.

An Aquarian is capable of forgiveness and second chances but when an Aquarian decides it’s enough, it’s enough. She will cast you out from her heart and mind, not looking back. She will have learned her lesson with each new passing relationship. ‘She will learn to not cast her pearls before swine’. She’ll soon find a man who is worthy of her affections. Someone who isn’t afraid of her true emotional depth. And when she finds herself in the arms of a man who finally takes care of her fragile heart, she experiences rapture.

As innocent and childlike as she might appear, she’s actually not. She exudes vibrancy and colorful lights but step inside behind those closed doors and you’ll realize that our Aquarian has a whole different persona. She’s feisty and coquettish in the budoir. Showing off her many flavor colored condoms, vibrators, and toys to her partner and she will do so so excitedly. One wonders, ‘Where did that innocent Aquarian go?’ She’s still there riding that hog she’s been wanting to pounce for a while (and had been fantasizing about). Mixing in pleasure with fun. Letting go of her inhibitions and showing a true and sexy side to her personality. It can be extremely alluring to any man, or woman, who witnesses the Aquarian going off on herself like if it was her first time. She’s enticing and addicting and her husband can truly feel free in the bedroom. Because she’s so open to anything, her husband can fulfill his deepest fantasies with her. Play dress up? She beat you to it…Sex in the alley behind the dumpster?You read my mind…S&M? Why didn’t you ask sooner?… Oral under the table? Baby I’m already there… Anything you can think of she will be open to and even if she doesn’t agree, she will suggest other alternatives.

Because to an Aquarian sex should be free and loving. She let’s go of all those negative emotions (or at least supress them for a while longer). Sex to her is an experience that she feels grounds her down to terra firme. Because she’s so detached emotionally and so different, she feels like she can connect with her partner intimately via sex. All those deep feelings she had been supressing will come out in long sessions of love making, followed by laughter, high-fiving, and long conversations. Her husband can truly feel he has hit the trifecta…fucking, friendship, and no heavy sentiments? Bingo! What more can he ask for?

Of course our Aquarian will never settle for someone who she doesn’t feel a mental, emotional, and sexual connection with. She will subconsciously test her future significant other on many levels. Testing his boundaries because no matter how sweet she might come off, she’s actually a tempest. And he will never know he was subjected to such tests. She needs to know he’ll be able to handle her with ease and sensitivity but also with authority. If he fails, she will ghost herself out of existence only to pop up years later with a ‘What’s up? How’s it going?’ But, when he’s managed to pass her many ‘tests’ she will enjoy letting him in into her true world. A world full of colorful rainbows, hope, love, grace, peace, and an exotic ‘lifestyle’. One can see why an Aquarian female is the true Goddess of the Zodiac.

Hoppin' to it...

So in my very young college days, I was the assistant night manager of a 24 family dining restaurant.  I had a crew of about 6 servers, plus bussers, cooks and a dishwasher and my job was deal with the customer crap.  

And boy, let me tell you, there was a neverending bunch of it.  Here are some of the doozies. 

1. My most senior server (God bless this woman, she’d be serving tables for longer than I had been alive and I didn’t know a more patient, sweet person) comes up to me and informs me that the party of 8 college guys at table 25 are very drunk, loud and somewhat obnoxious but so far not yet a problem.  OK, thank you for the heads up. She gets them drinks, takes their orders, no issues.  They are very drunk, very loud, but, so are most of the other patrons at half past three in the morning.  

When she presents the check (gratuity added, party of 8 or more), the issues begin.  Why are you charging us extra, we’re not going to pay it, that’s an illegal charge, I’m a law student and I know, etc., etc.  Then, they firmly told her to go perform a heinous act upon herself.  

She came to me and said, “NOW they are a problem,” and let me know why.  Being that my owner and boss had a very low threshold for such things, we called the police, as was store policy.  Now, the college was in the big city which abutted a small town, which my restaurant was in. A very quiet, peaceful small town.  Which means, that when my restaurant called the police, we had them there in usually under a minute regardless of the reason for the call.  

Two officers show up in less than 90 seconds, walk in and confront my customers about the bill and one of them throws a plate at the cops and it’s on.  The rest of the dining room is watching the show as half the college guys are trying to get away from the fight and the other half have jumped into it.  There is a lot of yelling and cussing and suddenly another five cops storm in the door, both from our town and the sheriff’s office.  There is a lot of nightstick swinging and more yelling and arms milling about but NO PEPPER SPRAY which I was very grateful for.  Five of the college boys are drug out in cuffs.  The other three pay the bill without a peep and even leave my server a decent tip on top of the auto-grat.  After that the shenanigans died off for a bit as word got around that we’d send folks to jail.  

2.  Short-staffed one night, so was waiting tables to help out my poor serving staff.  A couple comes in, they’re intoxicated but not obliterated drunk, just feeling happy and good.  The young lady asks if we have milkshakes.  

I let her know that we do and list off the flavors we have available.  She selects a strawberry shake and he gets a Coke and off I go to get their drinks.  

I come back with the drinks and take their order, drop it off to the kitchen (we used pads and pens for orders, this was back in the dark ages of the early 90’s) and run another table’s order out to them and hear: 

“Hey ASSHOLE!”  I swivel my head around to see who is calling who names in my store.  

It’s strawberry shake girl.  She is standing up, pointing at ME and appears to be quite upset. I drop the food at the proper table and go to see what her issue is. 

“What’s the problem?” I ask her.  

“You dumbass, are you trying to kill people?  I’m ALLERGIC TO DAIRY!“ 

"Then why, please tell me, did you order a MILKshake?" 

"I didn’t know it had actual milk in it. Who does that, anyway?”  

I wanted to bang my head against the booth.  "What happens when you drink milk?“ I ask, hoping that she isn’t going to need an ambulance. 

Her gentleman companion breaks out in a huge grin.  "She farts like you wouldn’t believe, dude.  It’s genuinely the most amazing and disgusting thing at the same time.  Epic farts.”  He has started to laugh, which infuriates her even more. 

I offer to comp the shake, and bring her out something that will not result in future embarrassment, but she is quite content to pay for what they’ve ordered and leave now that she has been “emotionally damaged” by the lad she’s with.  

Fine with me.  I get the check, they pay, he tips, she bitches about him tipping “because they MADE me drink milk,”  until he loudly corrects her in front of the cashier that she ordered it and shouldn’t have been a bitch to everyone about it.

It’s nice to see that sometimes there’s a happy ending and karma gets them while you witness it.  

Wicked Games

Word Count:  1,757

Genre: Angst, Smut

Author’s Note: This story is based on The Weeknd’s Wicked Games (obviously), and it’s inspired by that incident when Jhope was doing a live talk and fans kept asking for the other members until he got hurt and left, because I love to dig my fingers into wounds and tear them open.

His visits to her were becoming more and more frequent. This time, however, was worse than any other.

He sat there in her living room, fingers drumming against the leather armchair, one leg bouncing nervously. She was always late. He swears that she does it on purpose to keep him on edge. Not too much so he would get fed up and leave, and not too little so he wouldn’t notice. It worked like a charm.

As he sat there yearning and waiting for her like an obedient little housewife, his brain starts to wander, taunting him with thoughts about the reason he was here. It had happened again, and he was dangerously close to breaking down.

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Chicken Ghallaba: What is that you say? It’s pretty much a chicken and vegetable stir-fry doused in garlic amazingness and the tart flavors of sumac and lemon. This dinner is for garlic lovers! Do not serve this on a first date unless your top priorities in a partner are finding someone who loves garlic as much as you do, and will happily kiss your garlic mouth til death do you part.

I love Lebanese food! The seeds of obsession were planted during my years at Purdue, but it fully blossomed when I moved to Detroit. I can’t say this is an authentic version, but I think it’s a pretty delicious “American girl ate it one time, gushed to the restaurant owner, the amazing woman was adorable and all too excited to tell me a few ingredients, and then the girl went to the grocery store and tried to replicate it” version.

I’ve seen a variety of versions on the Internet. Some were based more on the garlic and sumac route as the restaurant I went to leaned toward. Others were more Arabic seven spice based. So, I cannot promise accuracy, but I can promise a damn good dinner that uses some Lebanese flavors.

  • 2 lbs chicken breast (cubed into 1-inch chunks)
  • 2 TBSP sumac (can be found in an ethnic grocery or Amazon)
  • 1 TBSP oregano
  • salt, to taste
  • black pepper, to taste
  • ½ tsp cayenne pepper
  • 3-5 cloves of garlic (depending on clove size)
  • juice of two ripe lemons
  • 2-3 TBSP of olive oil
  • ½ large yellow onion
  • 3 bell peppers in any color, julienned
  • 2 carrots, diced
  • 1-8 oz package of mushrooms, sliced or diced
  • 1-15 oz can of diced tomatoes (drained)
  • 2-3 TBSP of toum (also called garlic sauce) (I found it in the ethnic section of my grocery store, but other regions may need to go to a dedicated ethnic grocery or make their own, it’s pretty much garlic, oil, salt, and lemon blended together)

Directions: In a bowl, whisk together lemon juice with some salt, black pepper, cayenne, oregano, garlic, and sumac. Place the cubed chicken into a plastic bag and pour in the mixture. Seal, and refrigerate. Let sit for at least a couple hours. Place some olive oil into a large frying skillet and heat, then on a high heat sear the chicken on one side, flip, and let all sides brown up. Remove from skillet and set aside onto a plate or bowl. Add more olive oil if necessary, then stir fry the vegetables starting with the onion and carrots then adding the rest. Give the vegetables another shot of your salt, and stir. Once they begin to soften, add back the chicken to finish cooking through. Add the drained diced tomatoes and the garlic sauce (toum). Stir to combine, heat through, and cook off raw flavors. Cook the stir fry until vegetables are at a desired texture and chicken is completely cooked through. Serve with rice, pita, or a side salad. Serve with fresh lemon wedges and chopped parsley if you’d like a few bright finishing touches. Should serve 6-8.

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In my mind, Carl secretly gets off on Negan’s particular flavor of violence.

But it’s no secret to Negan.

archiveofourown.org
Bunker Rendezvous - Chapter 2 - DMichelleWrites - Arrow (TV 2012) [Archive of Our Own]
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
By Organization for Transformative Works

A/N:  Feliz cinco de Mayo. Espero que todos disfruten de esta historia (Happy May 5th. I hope you all enjoy this story.). My boyfriend and I love a little Carlos Santana, hence, the title. Fair warning: This chapter contains consensual anal sex, so if that’s not your drink of choice, skip it. GIF credit goes to @emilybuttrickards

Excerpt:

“Oh, thank God.” Felicity breathes a sigh of relief, hastily tucking away the thumb drive into her purse. “I’ve got it.”

“Great,” he exclaims, massaging the small of her back, “So you want to go home now?”

“Mmm, we skipped dessert,” she thinks, snookering a pale yellow box from the mini-fridge. “and those wine infused fudge bites are calling my name.”

Clouds roll in, and rain pitter patters down by the time Oliver and Felicity transform the bunker’s garage into a makeshift picnic. A maroon afghan is spread across the floor. Felicity rests her head on Oliver’s lap as he feeds her these little chocolate morsels. Technically, the alcohol dissipates when baked or cooked off, so the flavor more resembles chewy cocoa bites with grape juice that surprisingly doesn’t sound half  Wanting to know why his wife likes these so, the off-duty emerald archer sneaks a taste. After a few slow, languid chews, his face crumples with increasing disgust. He then proceeds to run over to the nearest trash can, spitting out the snack.

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