of me and a dolphin

For some reason, something possessed Lyndon Antonio Trail (Redskins Player) to ask his followers the unprompted “Why do black athletes marry white women?”.

Anyway, Maserati Rick or whatever (Miami Dolphins) dumb ass, responded with the retort in the picture above.

Why can’t Black Men just date Non Black Women and be happy? They always have to do this foolish shit. From the bottom of my heart I’m asking what is wrong with you? Like, what is wrong? Acting like fucking wounded dogs with your “Black Women won’t let me treat them like shit” retorts.

Puddle of Nope

Context: The DM is running The World’s Largest Dungeon setting. The party has come to an area flooded by murky water. Stalled by the heavier armored players, it gives me a chance to flex my nature spells.

Cleric(Me): I cast Speak with Animal and summon a celestial porpoise. A pink one, preferably. I tell it to use its echo location to look around.

DM: Alright, you summon it. After a little bit it comes back.

Me: What did you see?

DM, in his best dolphin voice: Hands!

Me, in-between laughing: Nope. Nope. Nope.

just-french-me-up  asked:

Jehanparnasse Hogwarts dating headcanons? :3

- They’ve both known where the Room of Requirement is for a long time for their own reasons, but neither of them bothered to share that information with the other until Parnasse tried to be all cool and suggest they go somewhere special to be alone. He thought he was gonna be all smart and show Jehan a part of the castle they had never seen before. And then they got there, and Jehan knew exactly how to open the Room, and Parnasse was a little bitter about it.

- That said, they make very good use to the Room. Specifically a version of the Room that contains a very plush bed, all velvet and satin red and cream, magic candles that hang in the air and lights on the ceiling that move to form constellations as the seasons pass. It’s cozy and dark and always feels like comfort.

- They actually kept their relationship secret for a while. The only reason anyone found them was that Enjolras and Courfeyrac were trying to open the Room to set up for that night’s meeting and one of them made the mistake of confusing the Room by wondering where Jehan was. Instead of opening to their meeting room, it showed their love nest, complete with a snoozing Jehan under the covers and a startled, defensive Parnasse.

- Parnasse gets really, really good at bluffing his way past the Eagle on the Ravenclaw door. And the Eagle knows he’s not supposed to be in there, but his answers sound so well-thought-out and unexpected that it can’t help but let him in. This proves especially useful when Jehan has been out late and is either exhausted or tipsy and refuses the go bed anywhere but their dorm.

- They really met because Jehan was tutoring Parnasse, and they kept doing so because Parnasse really needed the help in a couple things. He used to hate Divination, but he keeps taking it and kind of enjoying it because he can pair up with Jehan for class. Professor Trelawney never questions it, though the rest of the class has.

- The first night Parnasse spent the whole night in the Ravenclaw dorm, wow, the next morning was fun. As in getting out of the dorm was fun. Thank god Combeferre is a Prefect otherwise they never would have managed it. Most of the school still didn’t know, and they weren’t sure if they ever wanted people to know. Parnasse left a while ahead of Jehan so they didn’t look like they were coming from the same place, and by the time they got to the Great Hall, half of Slytherin was bugging Parnasse for the details of his night. They all thought he was with some girl, and Jehan just… can’t. Deal with that. They can hear the Slytherin table getting louder and more specific in their questions, and Jehan. Stands up from their little multi-House spot on the end of the Hufflepuff table and storms over to invite Parnasse over to join them. He gets up to follow them to the surprise of everyone else in his House, and they pull him into a kiss between the two tables.

- They would rather have everyone know and deal with the fallout than keep telling lies and backing themselves into corners.

- Of course, anyone who might possibly do anything to Jehan over their relationship would also have to deal with Montparnasse, and that’s not the kind of thing most people are willing to do just to tease a little flowery Ravenclaw.

- Parnasse knows all the secret tunnels out of Hogwarts and sneaks off to bring Jehan sweets or fresh butterbeer or whatever they happen to want in the moment.

- Jehan figured out a spell for animated notes specifically to send little paper doves or hummingbirds or cats or whatever they figure out how to make to Parnasse with little scraps of poetry or love notes or whatever happens to be on their mind. Three teachers have banned the notes from their classrooms, one only the ones that can fly because they don’t always go to Parnasse first. Flitwick thinks they’re wonderful.

- Parnasse is a Chaser on the Slytherin team, and Jehan definitely threatened to break Bahorel’s nose after he knocked Parnasse off his broom with a bludger. Parnasse broke his arm, Jehan was distraught, neither of them left the infirmary for a week.

- Their House colors are too similar a color scheme, they get ties mixed up sometimes. And they trade scarves because they smell like each other, and it’s nice.

- Parnasse fully supports Jehan wearing skirts under their robes from time to time, when they weather’s right or they just want to. Partly because it makes them happy; partly because those skirts are usually accompanied by thigh-high socks, and Parnasse is a weak man.