of how you feel

As cathartic as having Acnologia curbstomp Eileen’s corpse was for me, it was in extremely poor taste. Is Mashima incapable of giving his female characters an ounce of respect? This arc has been type of abuse against women after another, from sexual abuse to torture to literally desecrating their corpses

Off the top of my head, we have:

  • Lucy being harassed in the bath and humiliated by Brandish
  • Lucy being forcibly undressed by Jacob and objectified by Loke, who has sworn to protect her
  • Brandish being objectified by Macao and Wakaba, who wanted to move her into a sexier pose, when she was a prisoner
  • Aquarius humiliating Brandish
  • Levy being turned into a plot device and having her own suffering minimised to focus on Gajeel’s suffering
  • The ladies of Sabertooth and Blue Pegasus being sexualised even when crucified and unconscious
  • Kyouka uncomfortably sexual torture of Erza
    • Psycho lesbian trope
  • DiMaria humiliating Kagura and Chelia
  • DiMaria humiliating and torturing Lucy (with sexual overtones to both)
  • DiMaria’s literal everything.
    • Psycho lesbian trope double bonus
  • Mavis’ being held captive in her own body by Invel, and the creep factor that followed
  • Eileen’s attempted torture of Mirajane (again, uncomfortably sexual).
  • Eileen turning Hisui into a mouse, which I imagine was torturous for Hisui and her father alike.
  • Rahkeid’s orgasm magic which to be fair, violated everybody affected by it, but with special attention put on the women affected by the author.
  • Rahkeid directly assaulting Yukino (and Lector and Frosh, but Yukino was the one sexualised here)
  • Making use of DiMaria’s attempt to torture Lucy and Juvia’s apparent death not for Lucy and Juvia’s own arcs, but as excuses to send Gray and Natsu into berserk mode.
  • Eileen’s literal torture in her flashbacks, followed up by the desecration of her corpse.

I’m sure I’ve missed some, and that’s not even getting into the stuff from Tartaros.

this arc disgusts me


oh if it was something that simple

there will be so much seri angst before this ride is over, no worries

It’s probably my mood, since I seem to find irony in everything right now, but…

It feels ironic I have so little recollection of the person who lost her memory of me years be for she died, who did not remember my existence in the years before she died. 

It’s probably also my mood that I am not feeling my (ever returning) feeling of being no one, being invisible, not being someone people usually remember existing anyway. Even family members (who are supposed to be sane) always just remember my siblings. When I see them they ask me “are you [sister’s name]” and when I say no and tell them my name, they always look a little surprised, as if they actually forgot my mother had another child. To be fair, the reason I feel so much like a burden all the time is because even my mother forgot she had another child sometimes. There was just one person that did remember, and then she too forgot.