5. one night stand and falling pregnant au
“Only a matter of time,” Q told Eve
the night after he fell into bed with James Bond. The sexual tension between them had crackled
since the moment they had laid eyes on each other at the National Gallery and
the intensity continued to grow.
Moneypenny pried, trying to get more information out of the
quartermaster who simply sipped his tea and declined to comment, preferring to
keep his liaisons as private as possible considering where they worked. There was no shame in being one of James’
Bond’s lovers, Q thought. The man was
bloody talented and Q had certainly enjoyed their time together. Neither was interested in a relationship;
James seemed to enjoy his single lifestyle and Q was too involved with his work
to deal with a boyfriend as well.
Days went by and both fell into their
normal routine of flirtation and antagonism.
It worked for them. Aside from a
fluke accident in Q-Branch that involved Q getting doused with a new chemical
they had been testing to render subjects easily influenced by suggestion (one
that was failing miserably to his dismay), nothing unusual happened at all.
After a couple months, Q’s trousers
were starting to feel a little tighter.
He frowned but loosened his belt and went on his way. It wouldn’t be strange except for the
inexplicable bout of stomach flu he had been battling for weeks. Med couldn’t find a cause for it and while
the anti-nausea medicine helped, it wasn’t perfect and Q often found himself
doubled over in the loo, revisiting the day’s breakfast.
None of these things would have
raised any suspicions in the quartermaster, or anyone around him, except for
one small problem. The chemical they had
been testing seemed to have an unforeseen side effect. To everyone’s bafflement, the male rats in
the study were becoming pregnant. No one could explain what had happened other
than the chemical seemed to make them susceptible to pregnancy instead of coercion. And while it took a few days, all of Q-Branch
knew the moment Q figured it out.
“BLOODY HELL!” he screamed, dropping
the radio he had been working on the desk.
Turning to a terrified intern who happened to be walking by, he
demanded. “Get 007. Get Bond here RIGHT NOW.” His heart was beating a mile a minute, he
felt nauseated for a whole new reason and, most perplexing, his hand went to
his abdomen as if subconsciously sheltering it from anything that might happen.
James sauntered in, smug look on his
face until he saw the drawn, terrified expression of the Quartermaster. Taking him by the arm, Bond led him out of
the branch and into Q’s seldom-used office.
“Q? You wanted to see me?” None of their usual banter, Bond too worried
about the unflappable quartermaster looking shaken to his core. “Q, you need to talk to me. What’s wrong?”
I don’t know!” Q blurted out, moving to curl up in his chair with his
knees tucked awkwardly under his chin. How
do you tell the biggest playboy the world has ever seen that his one night
stand with a man has resulted in a
child? A child neither of them had anticipated,
planned for, or even expected in the deepest, darkest corners of their
With a deep, trembling breath, Q
whispered, the quiet words sounding loud in the silent room, “Bond, I’m… I’m