of fart jokes

Honestly like the fat jokes in Voltron are so out of place like the rest of the humor in the show is legitimately clever and funny but no one older than five thinks fat jokes are funny. Even fart jokes can be funny if you time it right but like even skinny people don’t think fat jokes are funny because they’re that fucking lame.

random su “filler” episode ideas that might actually be constructive:

  • mayor dewey finds out that lapis is the one who stole the ocean. he marches to the barn and makes her do community service. lapis goes along with it for reasons probably involving steven, and finds out that she enjoys having something constructive to do which takes her mind off things. many fart jokes are made in the process of this discovery.
  • peridot finds ronaldo’s blog and becomes his biggest fan. when they meet, ronaldo reacts to the fact that a literal little green alien is a fan of his… interestingly. chaos probably ensues.
  • some wrestling bigshot is in town and sees the purple puma fighting. they offer to sign pp for a big contract, and amethyst is torn about whether or not to take the chance.
  • jasper, in her quest for a gem army, runs into the cool kids. this leads to her discovering the human concept of “cool” and attempting to emulate it. at some point she gets a new cape with spiked shoulder pads.
  • somehow, garnet is introduced to the concept of speedrunning. as it turns out, future vision has the tendency to turn one into a living tool-assisted speedrun, and she starts chasing the world record time for the crying breakfast friends tie-in video game. this proves useful later when expert reflexes are needed to defeat a corrupted gem that shows up… if the others can get garnet away from the game for five seconds.
  • while the main four are off fighting a gem somewhere, a monster shows up in beach city. connie, peridot, lapis and bismuth find themselves dealing with it as a back-up team of sorts. that’s why the people of this world believe in peridot, lapis lazuli, and bismuth… and connie! by the end of it connie has three alien big sisters, who are all vying for the title of the cool sister.
  • peridot decides that she wants new limb enhancers. bismuth and amethyst offer to help - bismuth putting it together, and amethyst getting the parts. the episode is told from the perspective of the other cast members who are trying to work out what the hell these three are doing with ten tablet pens, three toasters, multiple desk fans, a stack of laser tag equipment, connie’s collection of cyberpunk comics, and four potato batteries.
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Sometimes I check IMDb to try to figure out my own personal trivia, because I’ll have projects that are pending and I’m not really sure if people are reading it or not. I didn’t write any of that stuff about myself, I find it incredibly embarrassing. I’m an advocate and an activist, so sometimes I check to see how much that is showing up or if it’s all just fart jokes or whatever weird comment I said or faux pas I made. I’m usually looking up other people!

Werewolf Excuse No. 11
  • Lily: Where's Remus going? We have astronomy soon.
  • James: He's fine! He, well, he -
  • Sirius: He ate that nice looking chocolate pudding with ice cream earlier. I tried to stop him.
  • Lily: What?
  • Sirius: Didn't you know? Remus is lactose intolerant. He's not always strong enough to resist his cravings, though. It's not a pretty sight.
  • Lily:
  • Sirius: He accidentally managed to toot the tune of Celestina Warbeck's 'A Cauldron Full of Hot, Strong Love' once.
  • Sirius: If he has dessert, closing the windows in the dorm, even in the middle of winter, is always a mistake.
  • Sirius: We know 7 different spells to help with fresh air circulation.
  • Sirius: Peter fainted when he walked into the bathroom after him one time.
  • Lily: Stop! I've heard enough. Poor Remus. Why he tolerates you three as friends I'll never know. I'm going before you can say anything else. I'll talk to Remus when he returns.
  • James: See you later, Evans.
  • James: What was that? Why didn't you tell her about Remus' sickly relative, like you were supposed to?
  • Sirius: I could have, but she has already seen through that lie and this was funnier.
  • James: Remus will kill you when he finds out.
  • Sirius: And I'll be laughing in my grave.

ross-o-doneavan  asked:

Charlie day said something interesting on the Nerdist podcast, which was something along the lines of Host: "do you ever have the problem where people analyze your show too much, like the jokes and characters?" Charlie: "Actually we have- we have the opposite problem where we spend a lot of time putting together back stories for all the characters and putting in subtext and little telling 'quirks' and people usually just don't notice it and say 'it's not that deep just enjoy the fart jokes'"

me, screaming: CHARLIE PLEASE I LOVE YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE BACKSTORIES