of course you don't know

Please remember that today Jin is ALSO graduating.  He’s graduating from having to wake up at ass o’clock in the morning to drive a grumpy, half-asleep Kookie to school.  

I am So Done with these criticisms I keep seeing like “It was good and all but Diego Luna didn’t work for me casting-wise, he was too wiry and soft-spoken, not action-movie enough” and I’m like??? SPY???? That’s the point???? Honestly people need to stop forcing the Hypermasculine Jason Statham Aesthetic bullshit irrelevantly onto characters that bear literally no comparison.

Originally posted by lunadiego

How to Adult: Cover Letter Edition

So I have several followers who are working on applying to jobs right now, and by far the most common concern is “what even is a cover letter??”  Now, while this post is funny and accurate, it’s not super helpful if you’re looking for specifics.  So I figured I should show you mine.  Now, without further ado, allow me to provide to you:

~*~ The Cover Letter of Destiny ~*~

[Name]
[Address Line 1]
[Address Line 2, etc]
[Phone]
[email]

[Right Justified - Date]  (This is just standard business letter stuff)

To Whom it May Concern, [Or Mr/Ms. Hiring Person’s name, if you can find it.] 

I’m delighted to submit an application for the [Job you’re applying to] position at [Company/Institution/etc].  After reading the job description I’m certain I would bring a solid combination of  [Skill 1], analytical thinking [or whatever Skill 2 is], and communication skills [This is always my Skill 3] to this position.  I’m particularly attracted to this position because I believe it will utilize the skills I have gained through my industry [or research or whatever] experience, and allow me to apply those skills in new areas. 

In my role with [Company] as a [Most Relevant Position Here], I managed a project [to do some stuff - flesh out your most important/relevant job responsibilities here].  I specifically focused on [a thing that is the most explicitly relevant to the job posting.  In fact, I creatively copy/pasted some of the job posting into this sentence, that’s how relevant it is.].  I was also responsible for [A couple of things that maybe were mentioned in the job posting, or at least show increased responsibility over time].  This gave me the opportunity to collaborate with a variety of different team members [to achieve a goal]. Through these and other job duties, I have gained excellent listening skills and the ability to carry out self-directed tasks in the context of a larger team. [i’m not joking. use this phrasing it’s so great just copy it idgaf]

 In my current role as a [Current Title] with [Company], I have continued to build strong skills in project management [or whatever] as well as clear oral and written communication. [Maybe this sentence describes the types of communication (or whatever skill) you do.]   [This sentence describes briefly the less-relevant work you do].  [This sentence ties in your less-relevant job to the job you are seeking].  These experiences have prepared me well to succeed in a role as [Name of Position you’re applying to].

Thank you for taking the time to review my materials and consider my application. I am excited at the prospect of applying my skills to a [Name or category of position] with [Company], and I feel that the knowledge and skills I have gained through my experience will be a great benefit to the team. Please do not hesitate to contact me with questions as I would welcome a chance to discuss this opportunity more. [After all, they want to hire you after reading this]

Regards,

 [First Name Last Name]

I hope you find this helpful in your job search!  Just remember to focus on skills you learned rather than specific experiences or titles you’ve had.  Don’t be afraid of inflating it too far, either.  There are real useful skills underlying every job task if you look hard & get creative with your phrasing. 

Feel free to send me an ask if you want any specific advice on how to spin your education/work history into the job you want, or if you want a proofreader or cheerleader or whatever.  Job hunting is a bad game designed by and for a certain type of person.  It’s dehumanizing and horrible even at the best of times, so I’m more than happy to help anyone find a way to beat the system.  <3 <3 

Nickname Headcanons

Ever since phase one, 2D, Russel, and Murdoc have all had their own little nicknames they liked to call Noodle. They’re not used much now that she’s older, but they still make a reappearance every now and then.
Russel: babygirl, princess, baby
Murdoc: brat, kiddo, darling, sweetheart
2D: little one, Noodle-cup, honey, dolly

  • Johnny: oh, Ten, by the way
  • Johnny: *gets down on one knee*
  • Ten: *oh my gosh, oh my gosh this is happening. oh my gosh it's finally happening after three years, he's finally going to ask me to -*
  • Johnny: careful, you almost stepped on a ladybug, it's bad luck
  • Johnny: *stands up and puts ladybug away*
  • Ten: *deadpan face*
  • Johnny: babe? is something wrong
  • Ten: *dramatically looking away with a strained voice*
  • Ten: i don't want to talk about it

okay so i was having thoughts this morning about how i believe that obi-wan was probably t h e best master for anakin under the circumstances (and a few others) and how as much as i hate predestination, if you accept anakin as (one of?) the chosen one(s), then he is fated to bring about the fall of the Jedi - cos you can’t have balance when the lightside outnumbers the darkside by as much as it does. and i started thinking about how what if the universes where obi-wan is his master greatly delays him fucking off to the darkside and bringing about the end of the Order? well, he was all of 23 when that happened, which means in other universes, where obi-wan is not his master, he probably abandons the order much younger than that.

okay, so - an au where.

an au where qui-gon lives. despite reasons why it probably wouldn’t happen, he becomes anakin’s master, obi-wan fucks off to do Knight Things and Grow As His Own Person. anakin has his canonical crisis of faith and great realization that being a jedi is difficult and not actually all that he thought it was going to be. he fucks off from the order - say around the age of fifteen?

qui-gon, despite everything, goes off to hunt him. despite this “betrayal”. after all, anakin is the chosen one, right? so he even goes so far as to call in obi-wan to help him find anakin. meanwhile, anakin is employing every last trick in the book to remain out of reach. he won’t go back - he won’t. he can do more good out there in the galaxy, instead of tied down by the (hostile, tbh) jedi order.

it just so happens that obi-wan finds him. rather than try to arrest him or anything (leaving the order is not a ‘take into custody’ offense, as obi-wan well knows) and actually talks to anakin about the reasons why he’s fucked off. he finds the reasons understandable. besides, becoming a jedi is not being conscripted. anakin has the right to leave if he feels like it. obi-wan tells him that it’s fucking dangerous for a half-trained force sensitive out there in the wild galaxy, but when anakin doesn’t change his mind (because he’s hella stubborn tbh) obi-wan is just like “welp” and lets him go. he tells qui-gon he never found anakin, but that it’s really unreasonable to hunt the kid down for fucking off. it’s another thing that qui-gon and obi-wan don’t see eye-to-eye with.

so that’s that, right? they’ll never see the chosen one again.

but wait, there’s more. So of course the Sith find anakin. he must bring balance to the force. Dooku and Sidious play bad cop/good cop until anakin is firmly under Sidious’ thumb. (presumably, Qui-gon would have found nine hundred different ways to keep anakin away from palpatine, who might even have been the one to plant the idea of running off into anakin’s head on the few times when he was allowed to speak with the kid). anakin goes corrupt, as you do when siths are fucking with your head, and the story proceeds.

here it is, the fall of the jedi order, and order 66.

ymmv what happens to qui-gon. does he live through even this? or is he shot down protecting obi-wan? in either case, obi-wan survives as he tends to, trying to regroup with the rest of the surviving Jedi. of course, you have this wretched sith lord, Darth Vader, hunting them all down. his skill with a blade is unparalleled. no jedi who has faced him has survived.

when he finds them, obi-wan stays back, sacrificing himself to save the others. and yet, to his surprise, darth vader does not kill him. darth vader himself does not understand entirely why, only that once when he was very young, a jedi heard him out and let him go.

he does not let obi-wan go, but neither does his blade fall.

things that chara is, beyond a soulless rampaging murderer
  • an absolute pun master ( pomeraisins, chairiel, pomer-granite, moldbygg, good morningstar, detemmienation )
  • a nerd ( loox eyewalker, anyone? snowdecahedron, ‘truly the most tsundere of plants’ )
  • sarcastic ( ah! wow! woah! it’s a ‘hole’, the entirety of the snow poffs, ‘that’s great if you’re a microwave fan’ )
  • has an extreme opinion on licorice
  • a child ( look at these cool toys! )
  • a dog person
  • able to knit
  • willing to put themself through a LOT of pain ( buttercup incident )
  • a gardener ( ‘perfect for cutting plants and vines’ )
  • rather knowledgeable about monsters
  • a victim of abuse 
  • willing to play along with asriel ( smile for the camera!, the ‘creepy face’ tape )
  • pessimistic 
  • nonbinary
  • has a rather large vocabulary
  • silent when you fight toriel and asgore
  • the hope of humans and monsters

Imagine being tricked by The8 into thinking he’s teaching you some common Chinese phrases but in reality, he’s actually teaching you how to praise him in his mother tongue.

lmao omg i wrote a fanfic of my fanart i am too lame…orz

this is super old like from december omg……anyway here it is


“You know,” he purrs through razor-like teeth, “most people tend to be more appreciative after I save them.”

He’s looking at her with sharp eyes, piercing green watching her every move. It’s like he’s trying to make her laugh. She would—though not for his reasons— but his body being so close to hers is making her skin crawl and, quite frankly, she’d rather smack him.

Keep reading

4

Another supposed essential character of fascism is its anticapitalist, antibourgeois animus. Early fascist movements flaunted their contempt for bourgeois values and for those who wanted only ‘to earn money, money, filthy money.’ They attacked 'international finance capitalism’ almost as loudly as they attacked socialists. They even promised to expropriate department-store owners in favor of patriotic artisans, and large landowners in favor of peasants.

Whenever fascist parties acquired power, however, they did nothing to carry out these anticapitalist threats. By contrast, they enforced with the utmost violence and thoroughness their threats against socialism. Street fights over turf with young communists were among their most powerful propaganda images. Once in power, fascist regimes banned strikes, dissolved independent labor unions, lowered wage earners’ purchasing power, and showered money on armaments industries, to the immense satisfaction of employers. Faced with these conflicts between words and actions concerning capitalism, scholars have drawn opposite conclusions. Some, taking the words literally, consider fascism a form of radical anticapitalism. Others, and not only Marxists, take the diametrically opposite position that fascists came to the aid of capitalism in trouble, and propped up by emergency means the existing system of property distribution and social hierarchy.


This book takes the position that what fascists DID tells us at least as much as what they SAID. What they said cannot be ignored, of course, for it helps explain their appeal. Even at its most radical, however, fascist’s anticapitalist rhetoric was selective.

—  Robert O. Paxton, The Anatomy of Fascism
Incorrect HP Quotes (Ron and Draco)
  • Draco: My, my, my. Look what we have here. A blood-traitor.
  • Ron: Well, hello to you too, death-eater.
  • Draco: So what brings you to this part of the world? Are you sure you are not lost? Maybe, your weasel brain finally snapped.
  • Ron: Shut up, Malfoy! I am here for Hermione. I am so tired of getting her books from that god-awful place in Diagon Alley. I never seem to know what she likes.
  • Draco: Of course you don't, Weasley. I wouldn't expect you to.
  • Ron: What do you mean? Ah, nevermind. Why are you here? Isn't this place making you burst into flames or something?
  • Draco: Umm, nothing. Just passing through.
  • Ron: ...
  • Draco: ...
  • Ron: Wait a minute! You are here for Hermione too! Its her birthday tomorrow. This a muggle shop. Why else would you be here?
  • Draco: Umm... Penelope Clearwater?
  • Ron: Oh, come on!
  • Draco: Fine, you nosy prat! It is Granger. I want to get her something nice. I have been here quite a few times, already. Cool place.
  • Ron: What?
  • Draco: Granger showed me this shop. It has a really cool home decor section.
  • Ron: What?
  • Draco: I understand you are a bit slow, Weasley. This muggle stuff is too hard for you. Don't worry, I am sure I can assist you.
  • Ron: ...
  • Draco: ...
  • Ron: I'll get what you get, then.
  • Draco: Oh, that won't be necessary. I'd like to be unique. Besides, I am getting her a new bed. The one in her flat is uncomfortable and really creaks a lot.
  • Ron: How do you know?
  • Draco: (smirks) Well, I should. I sleep on it.

anonymous asked:

could you rec some of your favorite fandom writers for me please? I trust your insight and don't know where to start! thank you ^__^

of course!

and this list is my opinion so it absolutely does not mean that these writers are the best, just my personal favourites!

@theweddingofthefoxes/ ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - For Amateurs and Teenagers
- Hux always faints after orgasm. He can’t even masturbate without passing out- the one time he had a wank in the shower he nearly drowned. He tries to resist falling for Kylo but couldn’t help it. Now he either insists on handjobs and oral, or he fights off his orgasm during sex. Kylo tries ever trick he knows to break him. When he finally does there’s a ridiculous amount of semen & an unconscious General. Hux wakes expecting to be mocked but instead is treated kindly, then made to come again.

@moonwalkingcrab / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Friends With Renefits
- The Rules: 1. Just sex, no feelings. 2. The arrangement lasts as long as is beneficial. 3. Either party can choose to end the arrangement, no questions asked. 4. No kissing.

@rannystuffandthings / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Sharpshooter
- When Snoke sends Hux on a secret mission Kylo learns something new about the General he assumed had no military training except for the studies he did in books. It draws them closer together and Kylo thinks they’d make an unstoppable team. But fate has other plans for them.

@penpenhooray / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Wake Up, Sleeper
- It would seem odd that the Resistance should always seem to get their information just a bit faster than the First Order. Of course, General Leia Organa knows the risks her mole is taking by sending her life saving information.Luke was confident in his padawan’s ability to infiltrate the First Order to destroy it from the inside, and he trusted his pupil’s instincts.And Hux? Well, he’s spent over a decade as a sleeper agent within the bowels of the First Order when he feels an awakening in the Force, and he’s decided it’s time to begin the destruction of the First Order. And he’s going to bring Ben back to the Light if it’s the last thing he does.

@creepycreepyspacewizard​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - To Sleep, Perchance
- Brendol Hux isn’t quite what he seems. When Kylo Ren accidentally infects him with Dantari Flu the fever brings all of the General’s secrets into the light, including one that he didn’t know about himself…

@symphorophilian / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Inaniloquent
- Trashy, murderous douchebag Kylo walks in on his haughty, hacker cellmate Hux jacking it. Then they fuck.

@agent-nemesis / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Knocked Up
- “Are you ready?” Kylo asks Hux stupidly, realising the question is more directed at himself. Hux answers with a cry, and then his panic rises again. Kylo hunches over him, cocooning him protectively. “You can do this,” he whispers. “I know you can do this.” “I can’t,” Hux whimpers, shaking his head. “They’re too big. I can’t.” “You’re a general of the First Order,” Kylo says softly in his ear. “The General. The strongest man I know. You can do this.”

@redcole / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Following Orders
- Snoke decides that Kylo needs to produce an heir so they can continue his line and Hux finds himself lined up as the other father.

@jinxedambitions​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Reconditioning
- Ben Solo is one of the FBI’s most promising young agents.  While he’s had a few disciplinary hiccups, he’s intelligent and not afraid to do what needs to be done. (full summary on fic!)

@tokyotheglaive / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Ad Infinitum
- Hux and Ren were not soulmates. (But just once, they came close.)

@ellstra​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Carpet Burns
- Hux’s fascination with Imperial officers is not only professional. Kylo decides Hux deserves to relieve the pressure of command for once, and buys an Imperial uniform from Space ebay™

@badspacebabies / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Aletheia
- “What have you been doing to me?” Hux hisses. His voice is like static: the low hum of fear and the pitchy crackle of desire. “Everything,” says Ren.

@reserve / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Aletheia
- “What have you been doing to me?” Hux hisses. His voice is like static: the low hum of fear and the pitchy crackle of desire. “Everything,” says Ren.

@glass-oceans / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Lead Us Not Into Temptation
- Father Kylo Ren hears a confession that takes an unexpected turn.

@theearlgreyalpha​ / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - So Soft (And So Terrible)
- General Hux realizes that maybe he’s capable of being a little compassionate after all, when Kylo Ren winds up in his doorway in the middle of the night.

@cracktheglasses / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - disobedient
- There’s a reason Hux doesn’t have a real pet. Why he’s hired Kylo to play the role. Calm obedience is not what Hux wants or needs, no matter the instructions he’s doled out.

@agoodflyting / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Reputation
- Kylo finds out Hux is an omega. Functionally it makes no difference – everybody in the FO takes hormone control – but every so often medical deems fit to have someone go through a rut/heat.

@cosleia / ao3 profile
✿ favourite work - Bombshell
- Department store employee Ben Organa learns something new about the gorgeous redhead who always requests his help selecting lingerie.

happy reading!