I am So Done with these criticisms I keep seeing like “It was good and all but Diego Luna didn’t work for me casting-wise, he was too wiry and soft-spoken, not action-movie enough” and I’m like??? SPY???? That’s the point????
Honestly people need to stop forcing the Hypermasculine Jason Statham Aesthetic bullshit irrelevantly onto characters that bear literally no comparison.
So I have several followers who are working on applying to jobs right now, and by far the most common concern is “what even is a cover letter??” Now, while this post is funny and accurate, it’s not super helpful if you’re looking for specifics. So I figured I should show you mine. Now, without further ado, allow me to provide to you:
~*~ The Cover Letter of Destiny ~*~
[Name] [Address Line 1] [Address Line 2, etc] [Phone] [email]
[Right Justified - Date] (This is just standard business letter stuff)
To Whom it May Concern, [Or Mr/Ms. Hiring Person’s name, if you can find it.]
I’m delighted to submit an application for the [Job you’re applying to] position at [Company/Institution/etc]. After reading the job description I’m certain
I would bring a solid combination of [Skill 1], analytical thinking [or whatever Skill 2 is], and communication skills [This is always my Skill 3] to this position. I’m particularly attracted to this position
because I believe it will utilize the skills I have gained through my industry [or research or whatever] experience, and allow me to apply those skills in new areas.
In my role with [Company] as a [Most Relevant Position Here], I managed a
project [to do some stuff - flesh out your most important/relevant job responsibilities here]. I
specifically focused on [a thing that is the most explicitly relevant to the job posting. In fact, I creatively copy/pasted some of the job posting into this sentence, that’s how relevant it is.]. I was also responsible for [A couple of things that maybe were mentioned in the job posting, or at least show increased responsibility over time]. This gave me the
opportunity to collaborate with a variety of different team members [to achieve a goal]. Through
these and other job duties, I have gained excellent listening skills and the
ability to carry out self-directed tasks in the context of a larger team. [i’m not joking. use this phrasing it’s so great just copy it idgaf]
In my current role as a [Current Title] with [Company], I have continued to build strong skills in project management [or whatever] as well as clear oral and written communication. [Maybe this sentence describes the types of communication (or whatever skill) you do.][This sentence describes briefly the less-relevant work you do]. [This sentence ties in your less-relevant job to the job you are seeking]. These experiences have prepared me well to
succeed in a role as [Name of Position you’re applying to].
Thank you for taking the time to review my materials and
consider my application. I am excited at the prospect of applying my skills to
a [Name or category of position] with [Company], and I feel that the knowledge and
skills I have gained through my experience will be a great benefit to the team.
Please do not hesitate to contact me with questions as I would welcome a chance
to discuss this opportunity more. [After all, they want to hire you after reading this]
[First Name Last Name]
I hope you find this helpful in your job search! Just remember to focus on skills you learned rather than specific experiences or titles you’ve had. Don’t be afraid of inflating it too far, either. There are real useful skills underlying every job task if you look hard & get creative with your phrasing.
Feel free to send me an ask if you want any specific advice on how to spin your education/work history into the job you want, or if you want a proofreader or cheerleader or whatever. Job hunting is a bad game designed by and for a certain type of person. It’s dehumanizing and horrible even at the best of times, so I’m more than happy to help anyone find a way to beat the system. <3 <3
AU where the Tres Horny Boys accidentally end up at Project Freelancer instead of the Bureau of Balance. When they tell someone (South) that they’re looking for the Director, she makes a face and asks “…Why?”
Gehrman, an acquaintance of Master Willem and Laurence in Byrgenwerth, had always been known as a skilled fighter. In fact, he was so skilled that Laurence came to him to ask for help when the beastly plague threatened Yharnam because of Laurence’s extensive distribution of healing blood. So Gehrman founded the Hunter’s Workshop and transformed his skill into an artform. He started crafting formidable weapons, every single one of them unique and expertly made. He trained other talented individuals to become hunters and showed his own capabilities out on the hunt. Naturally, his students admired him a great deal and he was respected by everyone.
One day, a new student joined his workshop. A young noblewoman who had just come from Cainhurst Castle – Lady Maria. Gehrman, also still quite young at the time, was immediately intrigued by her; after all Maria was a very skilled fighter. Maria had heard about the hunters and their leader before and she was excited to be a part of them. Much like all the other students she admired Gehrman a lot and was maybe even infatuated with him. However, neither of them acted on their feelings or realized the other’s feelings, so both ended up thinking all they had was a professional relationship. They hunted together, fought together, suffered together and all that had probably forged quite a tight bond between them.
Okay guys I need to get this out there before canon happens and discredits me:
Hayley drives the truck to the edge of Crescent territory, to a house purchased with utmost anonymity and enough room in the living area for four coffins. Hope is asleep in the passenger seat when they pull into the driveway, around 5am, and the first thing she does after casing the area by sight, scent, and sound, is scoop her up (the best thing about Hybrid strength is that her baby can get bigger but never to big to lift) and tuck her into the master bed on the second floor.
The cures are nestled in her inner jacket pocket, and soon four Mikaelson coffins lay in front of the fireplace. Hayley does another check of the premises. Paranoia is a family necessity.
Then she brings out the paper, worn and smudged, of instructions from Freya, on how to reach her within the chambre de chasse, so that she knew it was finally time to wake up.
Her hands are trembling. She opens all of the coffins, as well as the cooler full of blood bags, and begins the incantation.
There are a handful of moments of perfect silence, feeling her heart beat faster and faster and faster until gasps fill the room, grey faces jolt to life. She tosses each something to drink (vitamin smoothie, for Freya), and shushes Kol as he nearly bursts into some Kol-like exclamation. She gestures to the stairwell, and whispers, “She’s sleeping.” No one needs to ask who ‘she’ is.
They’re just past the curing and a few sentences into the basic catch-up questions, and the vampire siblings are starting to look a bit less dead, when Elijah - what was he looking at? What was that look on his face, what was that soft, (…silly?) smile?
Hayley turned to see her daughter, halfway down the stairs, peering just over the railing on her tip-toes, her face alight and overwhelmed with curiosity. Her smile back at Elijah was shy for just a millisecond, before she absolutely beamed.
When Hayley looked back at Elijah, there were tears in his eyes. Rebekah let out a little sobbing cry when she realized, standing to get a better look, as the newly awakened family saw their niece for the first time in five years.
Rebekah gravitated towards her, but stopped at Hayley’s shoulder, grasping it partially for support, partially for permission to continue. Hayley smiled, and looked to Hope to gauge her reaction.
“Hope…” Rebekah began, voice wobbly with love and tears. She opened her mouth to speak again, but nothing came out.
“You’re my Auntie Bex,” Hope said, a mix of confidence and hesitance that could only exist in this moment, in this meeting.
Rebekah nodded, smiling so so brightly, and took a step past Hayley.
Hope ran down the stairs and into her arms.
Hayley had a feeling Elijah’s plan was to kneel down to her level, when it was his turn, but she got to him first, wrapping her arms around his knees and clinging, till he reached down and picked her up so he could cling as well.
With this extra time, Kol made it to his knees, his arms were wide open when Elijah set Hope down. “Tell me you know who I am, darling,” he said, that devil’s glimmer in his eye.
“Of COURSE I know who you are.” She said, hugging him as well, while Rebekah rambled softly in Hayley’s peripheral about how beautiful she was, her hair, her eyes, her voice, her Hayley-ness, her Klaus-ness. Kol waited, expectantly, for her to name him, but she left his hug with a smug smile and a high chin and a wiggle of her brow. Letting him know the title of Cheekiest Mikaelson wasn’t necessarily in the bag for him any more.
“Auntie Freya!” Hope cried, as Elijah helped Freya out of her coffin (powerful witch she may be, but a smoothie doesn’t quite do the work in humans that blood does in vampires) and the two Mikaelson witches shared a soft, special smile before finding their own embrace.
Elijah handed Hayley a handkerchief before she even realized she was crying. When she felt it was already a bit damp, she shot him a knowing grin, to which he shrugged without shame, unable to contain that gentle, sappy smile.
Hope took their adoration and their questions with warm glee, like a flower soaking up sunlight.
It was some time later when a kind of determination began to harden her young features, distracting her from her uncles and aunts.
“What is it, love?” Rebekah asked softly.
She looked up from her lap at them; an imploring gaze. “Dad’s going to be next.” She said it like it was a command, looking up then to Hayley with desperation. With so much love.
“Yes, honey,” Hayley said, matching her serious tone to make sure her daughter knew how much her mother meant it. “It’s finally time.”
Hope looked at her aunts and uncles, then back to her mother. She smiled again, but now in contemplation.
Later that day, when they were alone for a rare moment, Hayley asked her what she had been thinking about. Her daughter looked a bit embarrassed, almost as though she was not going to answer.
“Mom?” Hope took a deep breath. “Is this what it’s like to have a pack?”
Tonight was doodle night for me (too lazy and too hot for proper drawing), so I sketched my currently absolutely fave fic. They all deserve full art, and I probably should do some in the future, but for the moment a quick doodle will still help me to express my love and gratitude to these wonderful writers <3