of course when does he not right

Nine Months - Harry Styles Imagine

No piece of mine has never had as much interest surrounding it as this one has, so thank you for expressing your excitement to me. I hope you’ll find it was worth the wait. (Protip: if you’re reading on mobile, ditch the app and read on Safari or Chrome instead, as the app is prone to close on longer pieces of text).

This one is dedicated to @permanentcross, simply because she’s the best. E has listened to me ramble on and on about this story for longer than anyone should have to. She’s the inspiration behind many things beneath the cut, all of which I will leave up to your own interpretation. 

Without further adieu, I present you with Nine Months…

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SDCC Steven Universe Panel Highlights

I thought I’d summarize some details on the San Diego Comic Con panel for anyone who wants it.

The panel at SDCC opened with a live singing of the theme song.

Zach Callison is the moderator. He introduced the guests: Michaela Dietz (Amethyst), Deedee Magno Hall (Pearl), Estelle (Garnet), AJ Michalka (Stevonnie), and of course Rebecca Sugar. He gives her congrats on the Emmy nomination (which is for “Mr. Greg” if you didn’t know). Then he asks the other cast members some questions. This is all paraphrased, not direct quoting.

Zach to Michaela: What Amethyst quotes do you use most in daily life?

Michaela says that when she wakes up, she makes noises that sound like her Gem is cracked. Then she says maybe she should change her answer to “womp womp.”

Zach breaks in with “Which way to the baby war?” as his favorite.

Zach to Deedee: What songs do you sing around the house?

She responds “Which do I NOT sing?” She likes “Love Like You” in the shower. “Steven and the Stevens” when she’s doing dishes, and “Peace and Love” a lot lately. Her kids are learning the songs on piano and ukulele, so there’s lots of SU tunes happening in her house.

Zach to Estelle: How has the popularity of the show affected your music career?

Estelle basically says a new generation of people are noticing her music and realizing she is the singer on songs they encounter in the wild. Zach says he grew up on “American Boy.” ;)

Zach to AJ: How has Stevonnie changed since their first appearance?

She says Stevonnie has learned a lot, and has more confidence now.

Then the cast does a great little line read of the scene when Stevonnie first appears, beginning with them barging in with “Pretty cool right?” The voice actors all say their parts and perform it slightly differently, which is cute. Then they do a version of “Here Comes a Thought” with Estelle and AJ!

Zach to Rebecca: What’s next on Steven Universe?

(Of course she laughs.)

Rebecca says the show has recently had so many huge events, so there will be lots of fallout, like a roller coaster from here on out. Then they show a clip. It’s sort of like a trailer. It’s all about Lapis’s conflictedness not wanting to get caught in another war, Homeworld’s future actions, Pearl being unable to properly explain the context of everything even though she wants to, and Greg not knowing his place in all this.

Zach says he hadn’t seen it yet.

Then they talk a bit about the Save the Light game coming out. A trailer for the game pops up and it includes footage that hasn’t been seen. Including a new character: Squaridot, a Peridot from Homeworld.

Rebecca was very involved in the making of the game. She says having a console game is a dream come true because they could do so much more than with the small mobile game, Attack the Light. There are Fusions and original characters, and the mechanics are relationship-based, and Greg is a player character who can play guitar. She likes that Squaridot is a Peridot who hasn’t made the kind of progress that Peridot has made. They segue to say Shelby Rabara (Peridot’s voice actor) is taking over social media for the week.

Then they talk about the Art and Origins book being out, and how there’s a SDCC-exclusive version. Launching also is the podcast, a 10-episode production, about the production of the show. McKenzie Atwood is the host. Rebecca and Steven were Episode 1–I’ve already heard this (and I seem to recall there wasn’t really a lot of new info except that the Gem writing in the Kindergarten will say who each section belongs to if you can read it, and that a lot of Ishtar imagery was used, including the 7 lions and the stars). Rebecca did episode 1 of the podcast with her brother, and says she wishes she could do everything with Steven. Zach and Grace are Episode 2.  

They talk about how the soundtrack Volume 1 is out, and announce that a vinyl version is out in fall! A limited-run Stronger than You and Love Like You vinyl single is out for SDCC.

Then they play a name-the-song game with SU cosplayers. They complimented a Pearl cosplayer’s cool spear too. They read lyrics, tell what song it’s from, and if the player gets it right, they win a vinyl single. Quiz songs included “Love Like You,” “Wailing Stone,” “Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart,” “Steven and the Stevens,” “It’s Over, Isn’t It,” “What’s the Use of Feeling (Blue),” and “Comet.” Most people got them right, but if they got it wrong they got to try another one.

Then there’s a Q&A, which I’m paraphrasing the 12 questions:

1. Audience member: Fluorite is a polyamorous relationship, right? What inspired it?

Rebecca said she went to an LGBTQ center in Long Beach and chatted about what stuff they really wanted to see. Poly relationships came up. (So yes, that’s confirmed, though in my opinion it really didn’t have to be since they were pretty clear about it!)

2. Audience member: Fan theories–do they influence you or do you have a master plan?

Rebecca says she loves fan theories, but they work way further in the future, so no, they really don’t influence what the story does. She has loved reading the theories about the trial, because some are onto something, and some are like way off. Zach says the good stuff gets downvoted a lot.

3. Audience member: Says a favorite character of theirs is Rainbow Quartz, and wants to know will we see a version of her with Steven?

Rebecca says of course she can’t give spoilers, but that Rainbow Quartz 2.0 would inevitably be different. Then she quickly says, “Forget I said that.”

4. Audience member: How old is Lion? Have we seen all his powers?

Rebecca says it’s a good question and can’t say exactly. The episode “Buddy’s Book” gives a hint at the general time when Rose was spending time with seven lions. That’s a gauge for how old Lion is. She implies that Lion does have more to show us about what he can do.

5. Audience member: Regarding the “Off Colors” episode, which Off Color do you relate to?

Rebecca immediately says “Rhodonite, the neurotic.” Then Zach says he relates to Padparadscha because he’ll trail off in the middle of a sentence. Deedee says she relates to that too.

6. Audience member: On writing music for the show–any challenges?

Rebecca says it’s very challenging–they’re given no extra time to work on the songs. “Mr. Greg” was most challenging of course. Zach is glad the Emmys recognized Rebecca’s extra hours. He said he had a hard time when his voice changed. “Puberty is a thing,” he says, while talking about some songs he struggled with.

7. Audience member: Will there be a Blu-Ray?

Rebecca would like it. Making it happen will take more moments like this (the panel, people showing up for the show).

8. Audience member: Did Yellow Diamond shatter Pink Diamond?

Dude.

Zach: “We won’t tell anyone what you say Rebecca.”

Rebecca just says she’s really excited about the next run because it was a chance to do a real murder mystery.

9. Audience member: What inspired you to use gems/rocks?

Rebecca: “Aesthetic! It’d look cool!” But she learned a lot about myths. Smoky Quartz was fun to learn about gem trivia for, building important symbolism into their character. Estelle said gems are just really pretty, that’s enough of a reason.

10. Audience member: How often do you write a song and then build an episode around it or vice versa?

Rebecca says it depends. Character stories will need a song when dialogue just isn’t enough. “Here Comes a Thought” was unusual since it came before the episode. She wanted it to be a tool to teach kids about mindfulness meditation.

11. Audience member: Do you anticipate what’s going to be popular on your show?

Rebecca says on the inside they focus on loving what they’re making. Team ideas that are spur of the moment seem to catch on most with the fans too. They discuss Padparadscha’s immense popularity. Sapphires are sort of Zelda-like, Rebecca says, and she wanted one who reminded her of Peach. Lamar Abrams came up with the idea of making her hair kinda look like a crown to increase the feeling that she has a matching vibe.

12. Audience member: On Lars’ development: was it planned initially?

Rebecca says it happened naturally. He’s one of the oldest characters in the show, and she was drawing him in college. Lars-n-Sadie comics are older than SU. (This was already known but apparently some people didn’t know they predate the show.) So of course they were always going to be important. (Zach says Lars was important in the pilot for calling Steven names.)

Okay so let me talk about this picture here 

do you remember it? (lol course you do)

back in season 3 Eskild sent this photo to the kollektivet group chat and what did Isak say “Don’t post it anywhere we’re not official or anything” 

and as a live watcher i remember thinking “THEN WHEN ARE YOU OFFICIAL?” and ever since that chat and this photo I had been thinking…when is he going to post it. When is he going to become ‘official’ 

I half expected him to post it right before his season ended, almost as a “here i am and i am proud” photo but it didn’t happen. 

of course we still got a boyfriend selfie, but it didn’t hold the kind of significance this one does. 

This one was taken when Isak was still not ready to be himself yet

this photo represents him telling eskild to still hide it. It represents Isak hiding and not being proud. 

the moment he shares it with the world is the moment he accepts himself and finally is P R O U D of who he is and who he loves 

so now finally here we are. Isak has posted one of the photos taken along with the one above. People are asking “why an old photo? why not one of the many new ones i’m sure they have?….why not just take a new one?” 

Because 

he is finally proud of who he is and it is official. 

Eskild you can post it now because it is real. 

I am real

and I am proud

anonymous asked:

prompt: alicia almost leaves bob after jacks overdose

[prompted by @eskildit, who now knows better than to send anons when she has great prompt idea <3  tw: overdose, homophobia]

The night before her son turns 13, Alicia Zimmermann pulls her husband aside and says, “Promise me you’ll let him choose for himself. If he wants to play hockey, if he wants to dance, if he wants to be a waiter, we’ll be okay with it.

Bob promises her, with all the devotion she’s come to expect, but not minutes later reminds her the NHL waits for no man, and Jack will need to start preparing for the future as soon as possible.

It was a sign of things to come, and she didn’t heed the warnings.


Jack is 14 when they diagnose him with an anxiety disorder Alicia’s never heard of. The specialist recommends reducing the level of stress in his life, maybe cutting back on unnecessary extracurriculars. He knows the family. He knows Bob. He’s being gentle.

They don’t change anything because hockey is life. Jack’s happy on the ice, unhappy off, so they take the medication instead. Just another step to Jack’s already offensively complicated routine.

“See?” Bob smiles when Jack is chosen to play for Rimouski Oceanic. “He’s going to be fine. Not like you and I didn’t need a little extra help in the beginning.”

He’s talking about Alicia’s drinking nearly twenty years prior. His own cocaine problem in the early 80s. But Jack’s not twenty and whole-hog into a career, he’s a teenager. 

She wants to protest on principle, but this isn’t her life. Bob knows this world better than she ever will, and if Jack still wants to play professionally (and he does), she needs to defer to her husband.

If this is what Jack wants, they’ll make it work.


Jack’s energetic, he’s happy, he has a friend he won’t be seen without, and Alicia watches how close Kent’s fingers are to Jack’s when they walk together. It’s not what she expected, but she’s happy he has someone. 

She’s not the only one that notices how close the boys are, and Bob turns to her in bed one night, brow furrowed, and says, “Kent Parson.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

“Are he and Jack…?”

She doesn’t say anything, just lifts a brow and gives him a considering look. 

Bob’s lips go white with how hard he’s pressing them together. “That’s not going to be easy, for either of them.”

“If it makes him happy,” she argues, and Bob hums in agreement. That should have been the end of it. But something happens, and she’s not there to stop it. 


The night before Jack overdoses and his career goes up in flames, the Zimmermann household is in ruins for an entirely different reason.

“Jesus Christ, Robert, I’m supposed to be a goddamn activist, if this gets out —”

“I don’t have a problem with gay people —”

“Don’t lie to me!” Alicia slams her hand on the table, nearly shaking with anger. “You told him to hide.”

“I told him to be discreet. Do you think I’m doing this for me? I’m getting calls day and night from teams wanting to know if the rumors are true. I was trying to be proactive! He can’t be–”

“What? Gay? That’s what you’re worried about? Maybe we can engrave that on the back of my GLAAD award: ‘For excellence in telling your child to hide their sexuality until they retire’. So everyone can know how fucking supportive we are. Does he think I feel the same way you do?”

“I don’t know, I don’t remember,”

My God, I can’t even look at you right now. You’re going to fix this. I don’t know how, but you’re going to make this right.”


Of course, then they find Jack unresponsive on the floor with a half empty bottle of medication and they don’t immediately know it was an accident. 

For about twelve hours, while Jack’s condition is still unstable, Alicia very seriously considers killing her husband. 

They’re red-eyed and exhausted in the waiting room when the doctor on call says they need to pray for a miracle. She stares at a stain on the carpet for a long moment, hands clasped, but she’s not praying. Bob makes some kind of sound, a hitching breath that isn’t quite crying, and she turns her head to watch him fidget. 

“Robert, look at me,” she says softly, deceptively kind, and when she has his attention, and with more hatred than she ever thought she could possibly feel, she says, “You did this. And I swear to you, if my son dies tonight, I’ll leave.”

She doesn’t wait for him to answer, doesn’t even wait to see the expression on his face. She collects her purse and stands, stretching her legs and heads to the vending machines.

She buys a Dr. Pepper and a bag of Tropical Skittles.



Jack lives. 

Alicia stays.

But she moves her GLAAD award to the trophy room. Settles it right beside Bob’s Hall of Fame plaque. 

Because she will never let him forget.

I think Lardo lets Tango watch her mix paint because she once noticed him watching paint-mixing stim vids on his phone.

Like, one day she is walking through the Haus and everything is quiet, which is weird. Then, she notices Tango just chilling on the couch. Then she really confused because it’s quiet and Tango is there and usually you can’t have one with the other. So, she goes over and peeks over his shoulder and he’s scrolling through a paint-mixing stim account on instagram, taking the time to watch the entire video before moving on. There’s the faint sound of the pallet knife sometimes if the colours really attract his attention and he taps to turn on the sound, but, other than that, everything about him is silent.

That’s when Lardo gets an idea. She isn’t busy right now, so she runs up and gets a couple of her tubes of cheap paints (acrylic, oil, some pigmenting, a giant tube of white paint, some paint thinner, ect.), a couple pallet knives, and some glitter. She comes back down and taps on Tango’s head. “Follow me, taddy,” she says, nodding to the door.

Of course he follows, Lardo is mama duck, but that doesn’t mean he does it without question. With slipping his phone in his pocket, the inquiries start a-coming. “Where are we going? What’s in that bag? When did you get home? Am I in trouble? I thought we were allowed to be there if the door was unlocked?? What’s that clanking coming from your bag? How was your day? Where are we going??”

Lardo is a master at letting him just ask without giving real answers (and, frankly, he’s thankful that she doesn’t yell at him like Holster does), and soon their at Lardo’s super secret art studio. At this point, Tango’s been here before and has stopped asking the “Where are we going?” because he recognized the area. But he still had so many questions, even up to the moment Lardo put a small red blob next to a larger light blue one on top of a big smear of white.

When she started mixing, he went absolutely quiet and fixed his eyes on Lardo’s hands, listening to the scrape of the triangular knife on the sheet of plastic she uses as her pallet.

They do this for hours, Lardo even letting him paint a bit on a spare gessoed canvas she uses to swatch the colours on to see what they look like. He isn’t really the best artist but he does get the shape of a multicoloured rubber duck with shades on. It’s mostly purples and blues and greys because those are the colours he said he liked seeing being mixed the most.

He eventually starts buying her the bulk cheap acrylics from A.C. Moore. They spend their Thursday and Sunday afternoons mixing paints.

Lardo puts the piece they made up in her senior art show. “Takes Two to Tony” is the title of the piece (only the hockey players get it, theater kids think it’s about the Tonys and spend too much time trying to figure out what a messy, tecnicolour duck with sunglasses has to do with the relevant plays and musicals of 2016).

It’s the most commented on piece in the guestbook and someone even asks if they could buy it and leaves their number (Lardo never calls them).

Tango is quiet when he looks at it because it reminds him of his mama duck and how she figured out what made him the happiest and used it to help him.

When Lardo graduates, she finds Tango at the ceremony and hugs him, slipping the key to the studio into his hand. “It’s all yours now, Tang. I’ll see you there.” He goes and there is all the paints he got her, the piece of hard plastic pallet, and the painting. It’s now hanging from a rafter, the light from the dusty skylight filtering in and making the metalics and glitters they used on it shimmer. Tango is so happy, he cries.

They still meet every Thursday and Sunday afternoon there.

Tango’s started his own paint-mixing stim account on Instagram and a “mama-duck-lardsy” always comments, saying things like “that blue can be used as a highlight on the duck” or “good job with the pigmenting, who’s your teacher? ;)”.

poedamerom  asked:

"I work as a florist and every day you walk in , buy one flower and give it to me" AU because yesterday I realised you were one of my favorite stucky writers!

Steve meets Bucky Barnes on Valentine’s Day, because God has a particularly cruel sense of humor.

— —

“You’re charging /how much/ for roses?” the man — later revealed as Bucky Barnes — asks.

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Steve says as an explanation, then sighs as he rings the man up on the cash register. “Don’t worry, your sweetheart will like them anyway.”

The man snorts.

“What?” Steve asks.

“Not for my sweetheart, for my sister. She’s in high school, and this asshole guy’d been leading her on for months, and all we could do was watch while she pined after this little fuck. Meanwhile, this guy’s having her edit his essays, drive him places… You know, the shit that asshole high school guys do when they’re going on a power trip. Anyhow, yesterday he asks out this girl right in front of my sister, asks her if she’s happy for him, which of course she’s not. She gets home, my mom calls me, and we hang out and watch rom coms together, and that’s when we come up with the plan.”

“The plan?” Steve asks, leaning in a little closer.

The guy smiles, almost sheepishly. “Her math teacher is a friend of mine from undergrad, so I call him up. These flowers, a few cards, and a big ol’ box of chocolates are gonna be on her desk.”

“Lemme guess, the asshole sits next to her?”

He grins. “Indeed, he does.”

“She’s in on it, right?”

He nods. “‘Course, it’d be weird if she wasn’t. She’s gonna tell everyone that they’re from her overnight camp boyfriend or something, who has been begging to get back together with her. I dunno, she’s got the whole thing set up, but she promises me that it’s gonna make this jack ass jealous, and that’s the important thing.”

Steve laughs. “Yeah, it is,” he says. “Bet your girlfriend is jealous, too,” Steve asks, and okay. He’s fishing a bit.

The guy raises an eyebrow. “Actually, I’m single right now,” he says. “I’ve got all these grand romantic gestures stored up with no outlet. It’s a real problem.”

“What a problem to have,” Steve says. “I don’t think I’ve ever gotten flowers on Valentine’s Day, in any context. And that’ll be $42.88.”

“Ouch,” the guy says as he inserts his debit card into the chip reader. “I’m Bucky, by the way.”

“Steve,” Steve says, then adds, “but you probably could’ve gathered that from the name tag.”

Bucky chuckles. “Thanks Steve,” he says as he takes his card out and puts it in his wallet.

“No problem,” Steve says, handing the flowers over to Bucky. “And good luck with your grand gesture.”

“Thanks,” he says, taking the flowers. He pauses, and pulls a rose out of the bunch. “Here,” he says, handing it to Steve.

“What?” Steve asks.

Bucky moves it a little closer to Steve. “A flower. Happy Valentine’s Day, Steve.”

“Oh, uh…” Steve says, taking it. “Thanks,” he says, a little lost for words.

“You’re welcome,” Bucky says. “Though it’s not quite a grand romantic gesture.”

Steve shrugs, trying not to blush. “It’s sweet,” he says.

Bucky just smiles and leaves the store.

— —

He comes back in the next day. “One tulip,” he says, bringing a yellow tulip up to the counter.

“Sure thing,” Steve says, then asks, “How’d the gesture go?”

“Perfectly,” Bucky says. “By the end of the day, he was telling her that he regretted everything, and she was telling him that she’s too good for him.”

Steve can’t help but smile. “Good to know, and that’s $4.21.”

Bucky pays with his debit card. “Yeah, gotta focus my energies elsewhere now,” he says.

“Good luck with that,” Steve says, handing him the flower.

“Thanks,” Bucky says, then hands the tulip back to Steve. “Enjoy the flower!” he says, before leaving the store.

Steve stands there, eyebrows furrowed, looking at the flower in his hand. “What?” he mutters to himself.

— —

It keeps happening.

Bucky comes in, he buys a flower — a different one every day — and hands it to Steve. If he doesn’t come in, he orders one online with the direction “give to Steve, please.”

“This is ridiculous,” Steve says after a month.

“I’m supporting a local, independently-run business,” Bucky responds as he hands Steve an amaryllis. “It’s the right thing to do.”

“You’re ridiculous,” Steve amends, but he takes the flower anyway.

— —

He’s started keeping them in his apartment as a mismatched, ever-changing arrangement. When a flower starts to wilt, he presses one of the petals and keeps it in a little book.

He sort of loves it.

He also sort of loves Bucky, but that’s a different story.

— —

They get to know each other, even though they just talk for a few minutes a day. Bucky is an architect who lives a few blocks away and passes by the flower shop on the way to work. He spends a lot of time with his mom and his sister (his dad isn’t in the picture), and he likes cheesy movies but not cheese — he’s lactose intolerant.

“We have that in common,” Steve says.

“Then it’s a good thing that I’m giving you flowers and not chocolates,” Bucky says as he hands him a peony.

Steve takes it and gives it a sniff. He really does like the smell of peonies. “What’s your endgame here?” Steve asks. “It’s been four months.”

Bucky shrugs, smiling. “Dunno,” he says. “I honestly don’t. I just wanted you to have fun.” He pauses and shoves his hands in his pockets. “If it gets annoying—“

“It’s not,” Steve says, too quickly. “It’s not annoying,” he says.

Bucky looks up, smiling. “Alright then,” he says.

“See you tomorrow?” Steve asks.

Bucky nods. “See you tomorrow.”

— —

When Bucky walks into the shop on Valentine’s Day, his face lights up.

“Steve?” he asks, looking at the flower arrangement in the middle of the shop and the accompanying valentine, made from the dried petals of 365 flowers.

“I thought you could use a gesture,” Steve says. “And a date for tonight?” he adds on, hopeful.

“Are these…?” Bucky asks.

“The flowers, I saved a petal from each one.”

“Oh my God,” Bucky says, looking down and biting his bottom lip. “I’m gonna have to step up my game if we’re gonna start going out,” he says.

“So that’s a yes?” Steve asks.

Bucky nods. “Yeah,” he says. “That’s a yes.”

Giving In

In which Harry and y/n are too impatient to wait until Valentines Day…

A/N: Shoutout to @stylesunchained for the title because I was seriously stumped.  Anyway, HAPPY VALENTINES DAY MY LOVELY FOLLOWERS! This is probably the filthiest thing I’ve ever written so… enjoy. 

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being richie's crush [headcanons]

Originally posted by beep-beep-richie-trashmouth


Pairing: Richie Tozier x reader

Summary: headcanons on this smol bean liking you.

(might do a pt. 2)


  • Okay
  • so all Richie really knows what to do is curse right?
  • I mean, he’s a trashmouth
  • Its his thing 
  • he tends to run his mouth waaaay too much
  • (it often gets him in trouble)
  • yet when he sees you, he’s speechless.
  • you’re rolling your eyes at Henry
  • (who is most definitely not tryin to charm you)
  • and you proceed to simply ignore him, slamming your locker shut and walking past Richie and Stan
  • “Hey Stan, Richie”
  • Stan smiles politely as Richie just stares
  • “She knows my name”
  • “Of course she does dumbass. We sit behind her in math,” Stan scoffs.
  • After that, all Richie does is stare at you
  • So. Much.
  • All the losers think his grades are suffering
  • (they’re really not)
  • but they know something is up.
  • with blushing cheeks, Richie admits that he has a “dumb fucking crush” on you
  • Beverly comes up with the idea to start leaving notes in your locker
  • Because Richie is too much of a pussy to tell you how he feels.
  • So all the losers turn to Ben
  • Who writes vvv lovely poetry.
  • and so the letters start
  • you’re not stupid
  • you know they’re from Richie
  • (and the rest of the losers, basically)
  • also, Richie is very obvious with his staring
  • v e r y obvious
  • like, you’re pretty sure you’ve seen him drool once
  • anyways
  • one day you go to your locker in the middle of class
  • and woah, there’s Richie.
  • he’s reaching up to stick something into your locker when your voice stops him
  • “sup tozier”
  • he curses and turns quickly
  • “wait this isn’t eds’s locker?”
  • “no Richie, it’s mine. and yeah, I know you’ve been leaving all those notes”
  • “fuck,” he whispers under his breath.
  • You’d then lean in slightly, causing Richie to shrink into the locker.
  • “well tozier, if you know of a dorky, curly-haired, glasses wearing trashmouth who’d love to go on a date with me, let me know yeah?”
  • before leaving you’d press a kiss to the corner of his mouth
  • he’d just stay there dazed his head
  • “HEY! I’m not a dork! And also, I’ll see you at five sweetcheeks!”
  • you’d chuckle before going into the bathroom and squealing
  • you had a date with Richie Tozier

Tags: @delicrieux

Bygones of the Sun | 05 (M)

Originally posted by hobismole

Genre: Angst/fluff/(future)smut || dance captain!hoseok, bad boy!au, uni!au

Pairing: Reader x Hoseok

Length: 4.3k

Summary: Jung Hoseok was once the sweetheart of the school, the dance captain whom every girl, including you, can’t help but fall head over heels for. But like the force of the ever-glowing sun, everything that rises must also set. A year of inactivity later and he’s now the school’s resident bad boy. You’re a firm believer of allowing the past be the past, and yet you can’t help but wonder where the risen sun has gone into hiding—because perhaps its shadows have out-shined its own radiance.

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06

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How to become a good student (again) 4: Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself

Hello, fellow ex-good student!

Hide yo kids, hide yo wife and hide yo husband, cause I’m about to drop the p-bomb:

That’s right… p…p…pro…

PROCRASTINATION!

I know. I know. The moment has come, man. Procrastination has cost me so many hours of my life that I will never get back and I guess it’s the same for you.
Here’s a bit of a secret - the first three posts so far? They were actually also about procrastination. Specifically, they were about WHY you or I might procrastinate.
1. Because you’re overwhelmed by choices
2. Because, goddamnit, it’s HARD to to start
3. Because you have a screwed up relationship with studying

Now, in this post, we will be tying these threads together by looking at the WHAT and the HOW. You’ve examined the roots, you’ve gotten rid of the pesky little bugs living down there, so… WHAT is procrastination really and HOW do you defeat it and actually start studying?

Procrastinaton, for me, is a state of mind, a surround sound and most of all: a place - it’s LIMBO. It’s physically being unable to do something. Being caught in a web (very often the world wide one). Drowning in water. Being pulled apart, gaining momentum, losing control, cotton in my ears, the heat of shame in my chest, a thousand voices in my mind that I try to silence.

“You should be -”
“You have to -”
“You must -”

“Do something, do something, do something, anything, anything, anything, anything”
“You loser, you can’t even -”
“YOU USED TO BE GREAT and now you’re just-”

I hate myself while doing it. I feel horrible. I feel useless.
But at the same time, at the very bottom of my mind, there is something that I’ve refused to acknowledge for the longest time: a sense of pleasure.
Why
do I feel this weird sense of pleasure when I procrastinate? Why do I feel pleasure when I know I’m sabotaging my future through inaction? When I’m digging myself into a deeper and deeper grave? When I hate myself at the same time? Why do I procrastinate at all? Is it because of that underlying ironic pleasure?

Well, to find the answer to those questions, we first need to ask ourselves a bigger one: what is the OPPOSITE of limbo? If limbo is being caught in the middle of nowhere, floating, glitching, slowly imploding, then what is the opposite?
I’d say it’s movement, direction and action - you being in charge and moving things along, having agency, being alive and powerful and energetic and hot. I’d say it’s FLOW.

When I was a child, I had little to no problem syncing in and out of flow. It just came to me like second nature and I LOVED it. I loved the way my brain buzzed and I completely forgot about my surroundings. I loved disappearing into ideas, books, stories, video games, homework, a teacher’s lesson, a friend’s story, my own projects. I went in and out as I pleased and could turn it on and off like a light switch. It was so. much. fun. and I was so, so lucky to have had the privilege of such a talent.

Back then, I used to ache and hunger for a challenge. Things were smooth and easy and fun, but I wanted MORE - harder exercises, deeper questions, more challenging teachers. When I told my father about that, he smiled and said

“Be happy. You have put so much work into this. This is the moment it’s all paying off - you’ve turned and turned and turned your wheel and now it’s running smoothly along the street without even noticing how uneven the ground is.”

He was right, of course, but as time went on, I became more and dissatisfied with my smooth little wheel and started to procrastinate more and more. Why? And, again: where does the pleasure at procrastinating come from?

I’d argue that there are two main factors and one huge reason:

FACTOR 1: The wheel didn’t deliver on its promises

I already mentioned this in the very first post, but basically: disillusionment. I loved working hard, but I also expected it to pay off at some point. However, apart from the occasional pat on the head from a teacher or my parents’ smiles, there wasn’t all that much to be gained. There were no harder exercises, no special treatments, no big revelations - even university, my very last bastion of hope turned out to be a glorified bouncy castle.
I was just bored and the work I put into it wasn’t worth the outcome anymore. The system had failed me.

FACTOR 2: Suddenly, there were a lot of wheels

It is easy to glorify my younger self, but, really, child-me had it a lot easier.
Child-me only had one wheel to spin (school) and as I grew older, I realized that there were, well, many other wheels I had neglected.
I had a lot of catching up to do in areas like empathy, charisma, self-confidence and self-worth outside of academia, humour and fashion. And when I left school, there were even MORE wheels: suddenly, I also had to keep my job, my apartment, my much more complicated social life, my manifold hobbies and a somewhat healthy sleep schedule going.
I wasn’t prepared for this abundance of wheels. I’d grown up thinking that as long as I could keep the one wheel I was good at spinning (academia), I’d be juuuuust dandy. Well, I was wrong and I realized that, once again the system had failed me.

If only I’d had better teachers. If only I’d listened to the good ones. If only I’d worked the problem earlier. If only I was part of a better system that would recognize and foster my talents. Who knows how much I could achieve? Who knows how much I could have ALREADY achieved?

And that’s where the pleasure of procrastination comes from.
It is defiance. It is rebellion. It is a big “FUCK YOU” to the system that failed me. It is a “Look at me! I’m operating outside the system and I’m STILL getting semi-good grades. I don’t need any of you. I don’t need any of this. I’m playing by MY rules. I’m getting shit done MY way. Because YOUR way disappointed me. Because I am FREE.”

If, at this point, you’re starting to feel sorry for me (or yourself for being in a similar situation) …that’s exactly the problem. There’s really no way to say this nicely, so here we go:

PROCRASTINATION IS NO MORE AND NO LESS THAN A GLORIFIED VICTIM COMPLEX.

Let me explain.
When you procrastinate, doesn’t it feel like you HAVE TO do things? Like you’re being FORCED to do something? Like you’re POWERLESS? Like you’re STUCK? Like you’re SUFFERING? Like you’re AT THE MERCY of your negative thoughts, the system or you’re conscience? Like you’re being WHIPPED AROUND? Like you crave recognition of your SUFFERING? Like you don’t have a choice except RUNNING AWAY and not facing what you’re FORCED to face?

All of these thoughts and emotions put you in the position of a sufferer - a victim.

You see yourself as a victim of the system, the school, the state, the assignment you should be working on. You deliver yourself unto their power. You submit to a simple dichotomy: I HAVE to do this or I SHOULD FEEL like shit.
I HAVE to do this, so I MUST suffer and accept the infringement of my freedom.

Well, let me tell you something that just about changed my life when I fully, deeply and profoundly realized the truth behind these words:

YOU 
DON’T 
HAVE
TO 
DO 
SHIT. 


…or a bit more eloquently put:

You’re the one in control.

No, honestly. You are. 

If you wanted to, you could throw it all into the wind, take the next train to nowhere and see where life takes you. But do you want to do that? 
And, the even bigger question: why do you feel SO powerless that this small, stupid act of rebellion against The System is enough to intoxicate you SO much that you keep coming back to suckle on its sweet, sweet bitter nectar?

It’s because you feel trapped. It’s because you feel lost. 
It’s because you feel like you have so much potential and it’s all going to FUCKING waste and if somebody were to just give you a FUCKING hand you could really show everybody just how much you can FUCKING do and-

-let me stop you right there and let me ask you 4 questions:

QUESTION 1)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are …but what’s the use of your intelligence if you can’t use it to improve your own life?

If you’re anything like me, you find it very easy and rewarding to help other people with their problems. You easily see the roots of problems and the ways that conflicts could be resolved. You’re an excellent trouble-shooter and a strategist in video games and for your friends… but what about your own life? Why do you ACCEPT playing the role of the victim in your own life?

Why do you accept this suffering?

Long story short: because you’ve grown used to it.

You’ve forgotten what it feels like to make active choices, to exert your full agency and to take full responsibility for whatever mess might come of it. Leading me to…

Question 2)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but what’s the use of your intelligence if you don’t take anything seriously?

Be honest: when was the last time you took anything seriously and gave it your all? …no? Nothing?


Well, if you’re anything like me, I’m sure you know the neat excuse of “eh, I was just winging it, but if I REALLY tried-” and do you know what that is? It’s cowardice and it’s self-victimization.

I know I’m coming on very strong.
But the truth is this: I know this. I know this because I’ve been living this. I’ve been living a second-hand life that I allowed to be ruled by “the system” and guilt and made-up obligations …and I almost lost myself in the process.

Maybe you can realize it with me: It’s some time ago, I wake up in the middle of the night and randomly feel like taking an IQ test online. I’m still half-asleep, I roll onto my stomach, I don’t even sit up, I meander my way through the questions. Shit. I realize that time is running out and I haven’t even finished ¾ of the questions! I panick. I feel guilty. I finally sit up. I start trying harder. I’m getting faster and faster - faster than I ever thought possible. And despite 5 minutes of good effort - 
I fail. Hard.
And as I sit there in my dark room, my unbelievably sucky result glowing on the screen of my mobile phone and I look out of the window, I realize: this has been my life for the past 5 years. Winging stuff at not even 50% of my capacity and being hurt by the results. Honestly, when WAS the last time I took anything really seriously? 

The next day, I get 8 hours of sleep, sit down in front of my laptop with a bottle of water, search for the most professional IQ test I can find and concentrate from the very beginning. I score 30 points higher. 

Let me repeat that: I scored 30 points higher on an IQ test because I actually tried. Magical things can happen if you take stuff seriously.

Leading us to

Question 3)
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but when was the last time your intelligence has brought you joy?

Maybe you’re familiar with the phrase “The burnt child dreads the fire”? When I thought back on my academic progress in the last years, I realized that there really hadn’t been much joy anywhere. Pretty much everything had sucked. 

Big time.

Of course I wouldn’t want to invest my energy into something that didn’t yield any good results … right?

Wrong. My lack of good results was only an indicator for the real problem: my lack of effort.
The simple truth is this: 
We are smart. We enjoy doing what we are good at. We enjoy hard mental work, REGARDLESS of the results.
But once I started to focus too much on the results and thought it was all about having a great CV and min-maxing my grades… I just didn’t have fun anymore. I didn’t allow myself to have fun anymore. To disappear into a world of thoughts like I used to as a child. To invest way too much time into a project, to have an absolute BLAST creating something complex and outstanding and super cool. 

Bringing us to…

Question 4) 
You keep going on and on about how intelligent you are… but can you really create something extraordinary?

See that’s the thing: when I was a child, I didn’t just take school seriously.
I wanted to go the extra mile. 
And honestly? That was the whole secret. I wanted to create something that wasn’t just special but mind-blowingly special. It’s not like I knew I had it in me, but rather that I wanted grow to have more and more in me and I knew that the only way to do that was to challenge myself again and again.
That’s the difference between viewing your intelligence and your capabilities as stagnant or growing. There is no joy and no truth in regarding yourself as stagnant - the best of violin players started out sounding like a dying cat and the best athletes kept stumbling. If you want to create and become something extraordinary, you need to know that it will not happen overnight. You need to know that it will be a slow, hard and challenging hike up a hill and the only thing that keeps you climbing is your willingness to go the extra mile so you can see the view become more and more beautiful.

The real pleasure of studying is not getting good results and bragging rights - that’s just a cool side-effect. The real pleasure of studying is studying and that means working and knowing that working gets you one step ahead one step at a time.

So HOW can you change? HOW can you regain control? How can you consciously go from limbo to flow?
First of all:

1) RECLAIM YOUR RESPONSIBILITY AND YOUR PASSION

The first thing I tell myself in the morning is “My life is in my hands.”
That’s not always an easy sentence to start with, especially if I haven’t slept well or if I’m sick or in the middle of a fight or an existential crisis or just crabby.
But it’s always true. It’s MY life and it’s my responsibility to make the best of it. 

One poem in particular has really helped me, so who knows, maybe it’ll help some of you guys as well:

The Vow

No matter how deep the sadness or wide the pain,
I vow to live for a brighter day will come again.

No matter how many mistakes I’ve made in the past,
I vow to live and in the future avoid them, surefooted and fast.

No matter how many tragedies beyond my control take place,
I vow to live and stay my course within this race.

No matter how poor or rich I may ever be,
I vow to live and aspire to search for the dignity in simplicity.

No matter how much a lover may pierce the inner core of my heart,
I vow to live for like spring I’ll get a new start.

No matter how isolated and alone I may feel,
I vow to live and do something for someone else to heal.

No matter how hopeless my situation my appear,
I vow to live and reflect until my viewpoint is clear.

No matter what happens in this life – good or bad
I vow to live, do my best, and just for living – be glad.

– Malcolm O. Varner

If you want to find pleasure in studying again, you need to embrace your own passion.
I know it’s a lot “cooler” to be indifferent towards studying, to procrastinate, to do it almost out of spite and at the last minute. But is it really?
No one wins. It’s not rewarding. It’s not fulfilling. You’ll have forgotten it in a week. It just sucks for everyone involved. Love what you do. Love it like you would a lover. Be considerate, be tender and be patient.
It must not feel like an obligation. It must feel like a passion - a fiery want for new horizons, mentals fireworks and lightbulb moments. It must come from yourself, from your bowels, your fibres, your blood - not from some ominous outside force. 

“I have to do this.” -> “I want to do this!”
“I’m losing time. There is so much I have to do, I want to be done with this already.” -> “I want to give this my time. This is absolutely worth it. I really want to be doing this right now.”
“Be fast. Be faster.” -> “Slow down. Be patient. Cherish this moment.”
“This is hard. I hate it. I hate it so much.” -> “This is challenging. I love it. I love it so much.”
“I can make this perfect, it has to be perfect! I could give this my all, I can give this my all. If I’m not giving this my all, I’m a complete and utter failure. Better not try at all rather than screwing it up. Again.”   -> “This is a work-in-progress, just like anything else. I am sure I can improve it bit by bit, by devoting some of my time to it. Even if I don’t get very far today, I’m sure the experience will pay off in the long run and I might find some unrelated ideas for other projects!”

You must go from this:

To that:

2) MAKE ACTIVE CHOICES.

(Like, maybe make the choice NOT to wear that speedo)

Because that’s really what it comes down to in the end: CHOICE. Nobody actively chooses to procrastinate. Procrastination is the absence of choice. 

Years of little to no success make you feel like your choices don’t matter -> you feel like you cannot influence anything -> you might as well not try -> you procrastinate.
But here’s the thing: your choices DO matter (DITCH that speedo!) and you must regain that trust in yourself.

We NEED to be able to make choices about their own lives. It makes us feel powerful and like we are truly alive.
It makes us feel like we are, you guessed it, in the flow.

Now, of course it’d be nice if I told you “Make conscious choices sweaty <3 ;*” and you’d go out and do it and that was it. But, truth be told, it’s hella hard to get there and it will take you at least a year of constant effort.
For me, this year meant constantly asking myself “Wait, do I REALLY want to do this right now?” and establishing a neat rule for all media consumption that goes “Always enrichment, never escape”. But, as I said, that’s a work-in-progress and something that you will have to work on in your own time and at your own pace.
Luckily, I found a shortcut :D

Now, the shortcut does not replace the year of constant effort, mind you, but it can help to make it a lot easier:

THE STUDY ROOM

What’s the “Study Room”? Well…
You might have been wondering what the title “Layer Yourself to Merge Yourself” is all about. This was my thought process:

  • 1) I want to get from limbo to flow
  • 2) And I want studying to feel like a reward in and of itself
  • 3) And it’d be nice if I could concentrate on just spinning one wheel at a time, so I can really lose myself in it
  • 4) I also want it to be a conscious choice, so I can train my decision-making process
  • ….
  • ….but how?
  • …”fake it till you make it” or what, haha?
  • ….I guess what that really means is that you have to act like you’re already there until you’re there?
  • …so, like, you have to artifically induce naturalness?
  • …haha, wouldn’t it be neat if I could do that and “transform” into my “study-form” like the Avatar or a magical girl or a superhero or something?
  • …..
  • …wait. Wait. WAIT. What if I COULD?
  • What if there was a “me” that was specifically always in the flow and already loves and is good at studying and which I only access whenever I want to study?
  • So I create a new “me”, so that, over time, we can become one again and I can change into that “me” whenever I want?
  • …cool.
  • …but how?
  • I could always go to a special place, but that would limit me whenever that place wasn’t availabe.
  • …buuuuuut…..
  • …..what if it was a place I could ALWAYS access?
  • what if it was a place in my MIND?
  • ….
  • …..holy SHIT.

And that’s how the “Study Room” was born. Below, I will detail the journey to my personal “study room”, but I wager that everybody’s study room will look a little different depending on what makes you feel most comfortable, rational and “in the flow”.

STEP 1 - DETACH FROM LIMBO

Close your eyes. Lean back.
Do it with me now. Consider this your tutorial. Bring yourself to a screeching halt, throw an anchor into the the ground of the stormy sea, pull the brakes, just - stop. Stop. Slow down.
Close your eyes, lean back, keep your eyes closed for a good minute - god, how long a minute can be, right?- and feel your breathing consciously, slowly, feel how you are alive and full of hunger, feel how your heart beats, feel how much tension has built up inside of you, how much energy has been stored and how much you actually ache to do something meaningful. Feel it. Keep your eyes closed until you feel it. Then, come back to me.

STEP 2 - BECOME AWARE OF REALITY

I don’t know if you’ll need this step, but I live very much inside my head and limbo just makes that effect even stronger. So, I like to remind myself of my physicality, of my spatial realness, of my ability to perceive and interact with the world in this step. I re-connect with the world and it slows me down even more - it’s a bit like hooking myself into this world, so limbo can’t claim me so easily.
I drink a glass of water, I eat a carrot, I touch a cold tile, I feel the texture of a pillow, I play with my own hair - if I’m in public, like in a library, I usually just brush over my lips or grip the table unobtrusively. It’s a small step, one that usually doesn’t take longer than 10 seconds, but it’s one that has helped me a lot.

(When I’m really caught up in limbo, I usually lie down on the floor in my room. That works wonders)

STEP 3 - ENTER YOUR STUDY PLACE

At this point, I close my eyes again and visualize. I enter another world, the world of studying in my mind.

STEP 3A - THE DOOR

My eyes are still closed and imagine a dark, circular room: this is the entrance to my Study Room ™. I stand in the middle of the room - there is one door right in front of me, two to my left and two to my right. I have no idea what’s behind those other doors or why my imagination has conjured up a room like that, but hey, it works and here we are.
I gather all my concentration and repeat “My life is in my hands. I take on the responsibility for my own life. I WANT to learn. I CHOOSE this.” to myself. Then, I consciously choose to walk in only one direction, channeling all my thoughts into a straight line: towards the door right in front of me. I enter through it - somehow, I never have to actually open it, so it might be more like an open doorway?

STEP 3B - THE WATER

I step through the door and find myself in a space filled with water. I have absolutely no trouble breathing and I can easily swim, turn, glide and spiral like a dolphin. The water washes the last remnants of limbo off me, I feel my tensions washing away, my mind waking up, the wheel starting to move, my chest feeling lighter, my heart feeling hotter, my breathing going slow and steady. I swim in this liminal space for as long as I need to, I revel, I breathe, I wallow, I luxuriate until I feel ready to emerge from the water.
(wonder what psychologists would say about this little ritual - is it a literal re-birth? is this the womb? who knows? it works and that’s good enough for me right now …now that I think about it, that beach scene from Gravity might have been an inspiration. Man, I loved that movie already, but that ending?? Aaaaanyway, moving on…)

STEP 3C - THE WORLD

Then, I swim upwards and emerge from the water, head-first. The sun is warm and shines on my head and I step out of the water with bare feet, toes curling around grass and my lungs breathing in fresh forest air. Somewhere, a bird is singing, white clouds are languidly drifting by, all is warm, comfortable and good. I sit down on a giant mushroom by a tree (hey, don’t ask me, I don’t know), take a last deep breath and put pen to paper.
At this point, I open my eyes in the real world. I am completely relaxed, a thousand miles away from limbo, in another dimension even, calm and happy to engage with questions and wonders.

I’m in the flow.

In this world, I am a different me. A “study-me”.
In time, this me and I will merge again and we have already merged quite a bit. My walk through the Study Room process has become faster and faster and I am quite certain that, in time, it won’t take longer than a fraction of a second and it will seem like I can switch my flow on and off again like I used to. My study wheel is rolling again.

But if yours isn’t just yet, then …this is it. This is how, this is why and this is the very moment I re-connect with my “study values”, my passion and my agency, again and again and I choose to do it. Again. And again.


It is, really, all about choice.

And that’s the advantage I have over the old me. The old me studied because I didn’t know anything else and because I thought that I had to. 
The me right now chooses to study because I want to. And that makes it ten times more effective, more freeing and more fun.

So run wild, enjoy, actively enter that world of studying in your head, no matter what yours might look like (rain? palm trees? other planet? go bonkers!), it’s about choosing this and wanting this. It is about YOU saying “Yes, there are other interesting things and wheels out there, but right here, right now, I want this, nothing else and I will give it all of myself for as long as I want to.”

As you might have guessed by the gifs, I really recommend watching Free! Iwatobi Swim Club if you’re interested in overcoming procrastination.
(I swear I’m not sponsored by KyoAni, but for all their other shortcomings, their characters always have amazing character arcs when it comes to professionalism and passions) Both Rin and Haru are caught in their own versions of limbo and following Rin’s journey in Season 1 and Haru’s journey in Season 2 really helped me realize a lot of things about my own life and about how I dealt with passion, talent and my career.

The last part of this series will include a Q&A, so if there is something you didn’t quite understand or are unsure about, something you’d like to add or recommend to others, something you’d like me to explain in more detail or demonstrate through other examples, please, just write me a message (my inbox is absolutely open!) and I will answer it in Part 5 :)

Thank you for coming along on this ride! I hope some of my thoughts could help you and please, do let me know if my methods work for you - I’d love to know! :D 

Your life is in your hands,

-studyinstyle

{Special} College!AU Yuta
  • major: plant biology
  • minor: n/a
  • sports: soccer team
  • clubs: photography club, earth coalition, did debate team for a while but only because he liked getting into arguments with doyoung in front of people LOL
  • is really popular, fun, and relaxed,,,,,,you can see him taking a stroll from the library to the lab looking absent mindedly at the trees or at the sky
  • but don’t underestimate him,,,,,because he’s actually really smart and organized
  • a lot of the research he does in his courses is praised by his teachers even though he’ll play it off and be like “ah~ i got it right? what luck!”
  • but in front of other students he’s like hell yeah im the prince of the plant biology major ~~
  • likes nature so decided he may as well make a career out of it, also taeil told him once that he looked good in white so getting to wear the lab coat kinda makes him giddy
  • but he frequently likes to hike and go to forests,,,even on days when it isn’t required for his major
  • flirts naturally with everyone, from the TA in class, to the people in his group, to people in completely different majors, once came in to check up on an experiment his group was doing on some eucalyptus plants and i shit u not he touched a leaf and was like “ahhhh, you look pretty today~” to the freaking plant
  • tried to tutor for plant ecology but yuta has this thing where he can plan everything perfectly in his head but when he gets to actually trying to explain anything he’s like ah,,,well,,,you see,,,,one plant,,,and other plant,,,,become friends??? wait no,,,,,biologically plants cant make friends,,,,,,they,,,,,,interact? first date? yEARS of EVOLUtiON haVE CREATed This pLANT,,,,,,,,,,,,does that not make sense
  • but hey,,,he tried his best
  • doyoung calls him “narcissist nakamoto” anytime they see each other on campus dfldskdg
  • but honestly,,,he’s not wrong,,,,,because every soccer game the uni has yuta somehow ends up flashing that handsome smile of his and ending up on the front page of the uni’s sports website, the uni journal, hell even the other teams school has photos of yuta because he’s undeniably attractive
  • esp in a soccer uniform with his hair pulled back, pretty sweat down his strong jawline, and his eyes that can go literally from ^__^ to the most sERIOUS expression
  • comes of cool~ and suave~ and like suuuuuch a smooth talker
  • but all of his friends just sneer when people gush about yuta because they’re all like “this is the dork who calls his mom at like midnight and says he misses her and cries” and also apparently enjoys kidlike things like amusement parks and kamen rider 
  • “isn’t yuta soooo manly and dreamy~?”
  • taeyong somewhere: he collects anime figures don’t trust him
  • jokes jokes
  • but it’s cute,,,,yuta is all flower boy charm in his pressed lab coat and brilliant big smile and always trying to show off that he’s a gentlemen 
  • but also squishing winwin’s cheeks during lunch because wahhh so cute and getting all happy over the new pokemon release like,,,,,how soft
  • his dorm is slightly disheveled but it proves that he works hard with stacks of books and highlighters alongside the many trophies and medals he’s won for the school
  • (and ofc,,,,,his kamen rider figurines lmfao)
  • but yep it’s summer!!! which means a lot of kids have left the campus but some classes are still going on
  • you happen to not be taking any,,,,but you get a job at the local fair that’s going to run all summer a couple blocks away from the uni so you decide it’d be better to just stay in the dorm and well,,,,,make that Money
  • yuta,,,,,,,is also staying but that’s because one of his group studies is being conducted by a teacher who won’t be back in the fall
  • and tbh you only know yuta vaguely,,,,you’re friends with jaehyun who has talked about him and you’ve seen him in the school news
  • but,,,,,you’ve also “heard” rumors about him,,,,,how apparently he likes to flirt as much as possible and isn’t really interested in anything serious
  • someone once said something about how he accepted ten confessions in a day but then broke up with the girls through text
  • and you don’t???? know him???? but those rumors feel weird and full of jealousy
  • but at the same time like what is it your business anyway not like you and yuta have ever interacted 
  • until,,,,,,that changes
  • see your job at the fair is pretty simple,,,,you sell tickets to the ferris wheel and tell people which cabins to sit in
  • the ferris wheel is pretty tiny considering this isn’t a permanent fair,,,,and the rides like 5 minutes tops,,,,,but it gets fairly popular
  • esp at night when all the couples walk by sharing ice-creams and cuddling up close when they buy tickets
  • and secretly you’re like blEGh,,,but at the same time cant lose this job so u just smile and sell tickets
  • and??? that’s when you notice that almost every night
  • yuta comes by
  • and you know it’s him from the face but also,,,you’ve heard him speaking japanese on the phone when buying tickets,,,,,and you don’t think anything of it
  • but he keeps only,,,buying,,,,one ticket,,,,,every night
  • and idk you don’t want to say anything because maybe,,,,this is his stress relief from summer classes????? but at the same time everyones saying this popular boy who could have anyone he wants on campus is spending his nights. alone. on the ferris wheel
  • somehow, without either of you saying much to each other you memorize the time he comes by and save a ticket just in case 
  • like two weeks into this whole ordeal you dont even ask him to pay you just hand him the ticket and yuta gives you a look but you’re just like,,,,,go
  • because honestly you start thinking up ridiculous scenarios like,,,maybe he cries in there???? maybe the ride reminds him of a lost loved one??? maybe,,,,,,,,he uses it as a place to scream out all his frustration 
  • and the tickets are way 2 overpriced anyway college kids need to help each other out
  • but ,,,, the night before the third week of summer classes starts yuta finally says something to you 
  • and when he does you almost fall down,,,,because????? but as you slide the ticket over he goes “this place closes in half an hour, right?”
  • you nod 
  • and he’s like “ill be by the entrance. let me treat you to dinner.” 
  • at first you think you’ve heard wrong - maybe that he needs to treat someone to dinner
  • but when you meet his gaze, yuta smiles and is like “i promise to be there.” before walking off like it’s the moST Casual thing to ask a STRANGER to dinner
  • it shocks you so much that you barely manage to stutter out a “ok” when he’s literally gone
  • as,,,,he promised yuta is standing at the entrance as you come out still wearing your uniform t-shirt with the fairs name sprawled across the front
  • and yuta motions to it and is like “cute” and you’re like um,,,,,,what is happening
  • and he smiles again,,,so bright even though it’s nearing ten pm and he’s like “i know you,,,,,not from the fair but from college. you go to the same one as me.” 
  • you nod slowly but you’re still obviously confused
  • which only makes yuta chuckle, throwing his head back a bit when he does but he’s like “don’t worry, im not being creepy or whatever. it’s just,,,,,i know you’ve been giving me the tickets for free for a while so i thought i should do something nice back.”
  • the sentiment calms you down a bit,,,even though you try to say it’s fine you don’t need to be treated but yuta just throws his hand around you
  • pulling you by the shoulder closer and he’s like “nah,,,,we college students need to jump at any chance we get not to waste money - so c’mon!”
  • and that’s how you end up at a small stall at the night market,,,,yuta piling food onto the tiny plastic table as you watch him balance drinks in his other hand
  • for a moment you think back to those photos you’d seen of him on the school website. the star shining athlete of the soccer team
  • yet here he was,,,,looking something close to a fool,,,,,but in the most endearing way
  • you don’t expect to talk with him for a longtime,,,,but you do. 
  • yuta has a way of making people feel comfortable,,,,he’s obviously sociable and sweet and it’s hard not to like someone who gives compliments and actually seems interested in you
  • especially since the summer semester has left you pretty lonely on campus,,,,
  • but when you check your watch you’re shocked to see it’s nearing 1am and you have a shift tomorrow at the fair 
  • so hurriedly you and yuta clean up and practically sprint back to the dorms,,,,yuta making a joke about how he hasn’t run this much since soccer practice ended 
  • but as you stop in front of your dorm yuta says your name,,,,,smiling and adding that he’ll see you tomorrow before heading off into the other direction 
  • and it’s not till your brushing your teeth,,,,,looking in the mirror that you realize,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,that you just hung out with nakamoto yuta
  • the next night yuta shows up as usual,,,,this time he slips something toward you in exchange for the ticket,,,,,,a ice-cream bar from the grocery 
  • he says that it must suck to not be able to leave and take snacks and you look at the ice cream and go “how did you know my fav-”
  • and he grins and is like “ah, did you forget, you told me yesterday~ i personally like their green tea flavor more but,,,,”
  • and with that he waves,,,,going toward the ride and you sit there,,,,looking at the ice cream
  • and before you know it,,,there’s a small smile on your face
  • yuta is even waiting for you at the entrance again so you guys can walk back to campus together
  • this,,,happens for a bit,,,,,and then there’s a day when you have off and you pass yuta on campus only to have him call out to you and pout because you’re not at work~ he won’t see you later??
  • and you’re like nope i have the day off, you’ll actually have to pay for your ticket tonight 
  • he makes a face that makes you burst into giggles and he’s like ill have to call my sister for more money at this point,,,,,,,or oh,,,,,should i try and get doyoung to use his card,,,,
  • you shake your head because what street fair accepts cards???? and he’s like rats ur right,,,,,,
  • but it’s cute seeing him like this,,,,, in the daylight,,,,,eyes sparkling and pretty,,,,,,,
  • bUT you shake that thought off as soon as you see a group of underclassman walking by and calling out to yuta,,,,,saying something about how he still owes them all lunch or something
  • and the rumors you’d tried to forget come back to you,,,,,,,because hey he probably isn’t treating you any differently than how he treats others
  • catching feelings for him???? Big No No
  • but yuta turns back and says he’ll see you tomorrow then and there’s a hint of happiness in his tone,,,,,but again you’re sure you’re imagining it
  • so why is it that the next evening,,,,your stomach is full of butterflies,,,,,,you’re practically straining your neck to see if yuta is coming,,,,,,
  • the moment you see the familiar silhouette you start adjusting your hair and shirt,,,,,,,,god it makes you feel embarrassed but also,,,,,when his face appears in the window,,,,,smiling and happy
  • it makes your heartbeat surge and you mentally have to keep yourself in check as yuta tells you about something doyoung texted him this afternoon 
  • tbh as you hand him the single ticket,,,,,you get the sudden urge to ask ‘why don’t you ever take someone with you on the ride? like on a date?’
  • but you know you shouldn’t say something like that
  • but when you feel his hand brush against yours,,,,,you just,,,,,,you burst
  • “yuta, why don’t you ever ride the ferris wheel with someone else? someone,,,,,,special?”
  • yuta seems taken back,,,,,for a split moment even speechless but he just looks down at the ticket and you,,,,snap back into reality
  • and start to apologize because that was,,,,,rude of you,,,,,super rude,,,,,god why do you never thinK properly before speaking
  • but yuta just chuckles and is like “ok, you’re right i should take someone special can you give me another ticket?”
  • your heart literally drops into your stomach,,,,because,,,,,he does have someone special,,,,,,,,,,,,
  • but hiding your trembling hands as you print the ticket you hand it to him only to have yuta give it back and he’s like “let’s go.”
  • honestly speaking you shouldn’t ever leave your post at the ticket stand but the park is closing in ten minutes and there isn’t another person in sight so when yuta pulls you in behind him ,,,,,,
  • you find yourself sitting in the see-through cabinet,,,,,the lights of the two flickering below you as the wheel starts to turn
  • and you’re too busy looking at the view to notice yuta is staring at you
  • funnily enough,,,even though you’ve worked most of your summer there,,,,you’d actually never gotten to ride it before
  • so with the sudden invitation to get on,,,,,you kind of got excited,,,,,taking your phone out even to take photos
  • until you hear yutas voice
  • “so, ive taken someone special now. are you happy?”
  • and you look at him and blink,,,,,,,because wait,,,,,,,,are you that special someone???????
  • but ur like no no no way and so you change the topic and you’re like “why do you ride this every night? does it help you think?” 
  • but yuta just shrugs and is like “no. i just like it. i,,,,,,like it enough to ride it twice,,,,,three times but,,,,,,,”
  • and you look up from your phone at him and suddenly he’s leaning over
  • hand coming up to hold the side of your neck
  • and just as you reach the top you feel his lips against yours before he’s pulling away and whispering “but i like you so much that i thought if i come everyday,,,,if i ride this everyday,,,,,won’t they notice me in time?”
  • and,,,,,,,,no one has ever,,,,,,so straightforwardly,,,,,,,said something like that to you so you’re shocked,,,,, 
  • nearly dropping the phone in your hands but,,,,,,,,,but also,,,,,,you manage to ask “w-why?”
  • and yuta laughs,,,,,,hand on his stomach and he’s like “seriously? why? because,,,,,i saw you and it was like i was looking at my dream,,,,,,the person of my dreams,,,,,,,,and then when we got to talk i knew it was right. that you’re the one.”
  • the ferris wheel starts moving slowly again and once you and yuta get to the bottom you step out of the cabin,,,,,still trying to process the confession from him
  • when yuta’s hand slips into yours and he’s like c’mon your shift is over. let me treat you again.
  • and,,,,,,,you follow him but suddenly halfway down the streetyou stop and yuta turns to look at you and you’re like,,,,,,, “don’t play around.”
  • and he’s like ? what
  • and you yank your hand from his and you’re like “don’t play around with me. i don’t want to be just another person you woo and then,,,,,and then dump.”
  • yuta watches you,,,,,nervously looking toward the ground and he lets out a sigh and is like “do you think im playing? do you know how much money i spent on that ferris wheel in the first two weeks? 6 bucks for 6 days out of the week. that’s 36 a week, that’s 72 for tWO YOU KNOW WHAT 72 DOLLARS IS FOR A COLLEGE GUY DONT YOU”
  • and you look up and he’s like “listen,,,,,,some rumors about me are true. like how i stare out the window during class like a moron but am also ranked in the top five of my major. yeah i tend to fall over things because im not looking, but im still the ace of the soccer team. and yeah,,,,,,,,,i like to talk and be nice to lots of people but im not a player. my feelings for you are for real.”
  • you swallow the lump in you throat,,,but you’re also like,,,,,,,r-really?
  • and yuta is like yES really now do you feel the same or no?
  • you look at his outstretched hand,,,,,,,and you look at him,,,,,,,the smiling boy who’d treated you to dinner, who’d come everyday not to ride the ferris wheel but to see you,,,,,,,,,,,,and you take his hand
  • because what is there to lose in trusting this handsome, sweet guy,,,,,,who just happens to love corny things like the ferris wheel LOL
  • and most people cant believe yuta is actually dating,,,,,,,,,but not because of those stupid rumors but because he seemingly has never been interested
  • and when you meet his friends for the first time johnny asks if yuta didn’t perhaps pay you on the downlow to pretend-
  • but yuta is like heY im not you mr. chicago and ur like ????? and johnny is like fine fine fine
  • taeyong pats your shoulder and is like “good luck, he’s a handfull.”
  • you also learn of yuta’s undying fondness when it comes to transfer winwin which you dont mind because,,,,,the kids adorable and you and yuta are both like “he’s so cute” like 24/7
  • much to the disdain of literally everyone else,,,,,,,,winwin is lowkey savage though he told you once that you were too good for yuta who apparently is much more airheaded than it seems
  • but you were sure he was joking
  • until yuta literally almost burned down the dorm trying to make homemade takoyaki,,,,,,
  • but boyfriend!yuta is just,,,,,the best
  • he’s so fun and upbeat and never,,,,,like,,,,,,pushy
  • like sure he makes jokes about being prince of plant biology or the only man worthy of your attention
  • but he’s coming from a place of genuine love,,,,,and his want of your attention
  • which is kinda cute because if you ignore him for more than like twenty minutes you meet aegyo!yuta which,,,,,,,can either infuriate you or melt you it’s always a 50/50 draw on that one
  • yuta also loves taking photos which is something you leaned when everytime you’d go on a date he’d start taking candids of you
  • and you’d be like babe im just ordering off the menu we don’t need to take pic- but yuta is already like its fine i took one of you and it’s up on insta i tagged you check it out
  • his sister calls to check up on him and you’re always nervous to talk to her,,,,even though she roasts yuta to you and it’s amazing,,,but you’re always like i want your family to like me,,,,and yuta is like how could they not like you when i like you so freaking much
  • his sister told you about his flowershop job in highschool which you think is just the CUTEST so you always jokingly ask him to get you pretty custom bouquets 
  • but the thing is,,,,,,,,he does,,,,,,,he really does
  • and he surprises you with this big arrangement on the 100th day of dating and each flower has a meaning for what he thinks about you and it’s so beautiful,,,,,,,,yuta no matter how greasy he comes off secretly is a big sappy romantic. fight me on this
  • takes you hiking with him and if you get tired he’s always trying to get you to let him carry you and you’re like NO and he’s like “why not i am a man of nature, man of the mountains-” and ur like man of the mountains when you drop me accidentally off the cliff hell no nakamoto
  • if anything you do like hearing him talk about his major,,,,because people think he’s good looks and athleticism
  • but he’s also so smart,,,,,and his notes are all over the place sure but he knows what he’s doing and it makes you so proud
  • you caught him dancing in the lab once when he thought no one was alone. did he serenade a plant? he most def did
  • the hottest thing about him though,,,,is during his soccer matches it’s like 0 to 10000. at the beginning he smiles and waves at you blows air kisses and does the usual cringy sappy stuff
  • but,,,,,once the game is in heat,,,,,he changes completely
  • the softness in his eyes and smile are gone,,,,,,it’s just a fierce stare and raw determination 
  • and,,,,,,it’s ,,,,,,,,,a turn on especially when he wins and runs up the bleachers right up to you to get a kiss and slip his medal off to put around your neck
  • liKE,,,,,,,how idea,,,,,,,,,also getting to shower with him afterward?????? even more ideal
  • even though yuta can get pretty interesting,,,,intimately he’s always mush and goo for the kisses you give him on the tummy
  • when you both are just lazing around and he’s playing some 3ds game and you heads on his stomach going through your phone and you just lift up the hem of his shirt and kiss his tummy 
  • he makes the cutest,,,,,,,like the CUTEST hehehehe laugh,,,,,,,
  • “yuta,,,,don’t you have lab hours to do?” “yes,,,,but i also have cuddle hours to do so get over here”
  • when you’re upset,,,,,,yuta is,,,,,actually really good at comforting, he reminds you that he’s here,,,,,,by your side and nothing will hurt you and he’ll help you no matter what
  • and no matter how childish his interests are like video games and amusement parks,,,,,,he’s a serious man when it comes to you and your happiness
  • his mom texted you like 40000 baby photos of him which you love and cherish and yuta isn’t actually embarrassed at all tbh he thinks it’s adorable you fawn over him
  • (aka he lives for your attention. if you don’t give it to him, like i said, he turns into a mess of bad attempts on getting you to show him your love LOL) 
  • sleeps in class and still gets straight A’s - it’s infuriating 
  • but also,,,,,whenever you guys have time you’ll head into the city to the amusement park and get on the ferris wheel because no matter what yuta remembers it as your “first official date spot” even though that’d technically not be true
  • but it’s cute and it’s important to you two even though doyoung is like “go to a restaurant like ADULTS” but you and yuta aren’t rushing to grow up
  • any1 who spreads rumors about him gets you super worked up and you’ve screamed at a good number of people and yuta and the boys always hold you back
  • but afterword yuta is always kissing you madly because “wow i love you so much you stand up for me all the time and wow i love you ok im gonna keep kissing you no-”
  • you guys are a fun couple ok
  • still flirts with u even tho ur dating but he does it with plant puns to be cheesey. “will you never leaf me?” “if you were a flower you’d be a damndelion” “we were MINT to be”
  • what im saying is yuta comes off as not being a dork, but he’s the biggest dork
  • OH wearing his soccer team hoodie and people being like “wait, you’re dating nakamoto?” and you getting to be like yes ;-) yes i am ;-)

find other college!aus:

taeyong | bangtan | vixx | monsta x | got7 + kard + amber | seventeen

  • Sam: Hey Jack, how's it going with the angel manual?
  • Jack: I'm not reading that anymore. It was supposed to be educational but it's just you two bitching about angels
  • Sam: Oh no, that's not true at all. Try Castiel's entry. I know, I know. Sixteen pages is a lot but we have known him a long time and-
  • Jack: There isn't sixteen pages. Some have been ripped out and this page has been super-glued in...'Castiel: Castiel is the most heinous useless piece of shit I have EVER met. He makes out like he's all innocent and doesn't know what he's doing. Giving you those Bambi-ass eyes and the kicked puppy look to MAKE you forgive him. As though he doesn't know what he's done?! If he doesn't HE SHOULD! And like, that guy wasn't even that hot. As if he didn't know he was flirting?! Right in front of my BEER! Recommended course of action when he does this, don't talk to him or explain what he did. In front of my BEER?! Anyway fuck it. Stats. Appearance: Dresses like he hasn't been able to see in years. Intelligence: Missing in action. Weaknesses: Whore'.
  • Sam: DEEEEEAAAANNN!
height differences

Mike goes through a growth spurt in high school and suddenly becomes 90% leg with lanky and gangly limbs. Will stays on the small/short side due to him not sleeping or eating well. Mike is delighted by their height difference - “how’s the weather down there Byers?” “hope a bird shits on your head, Wheeler” - and Will just rolls his eyes at all the short jokes.

But even though Mike’s way taller, Will is nimbler, quicker, and much more graceful - Mike is prone to tripping over himself and banging his head on things because he underestimates how tall he is. Will bursts into laughter ever time he stumbles down the stairs to the basement. Sometimes when Mike gets too excited and starts running in the hallways, Will has to grab his backpack to make sure he doesn’t fall flat on his face.

At one point Will decides that he should take advantage of Mike’s height and demands piggyback rides whenever he can. He gets to the point where he’ll just creep up on Mike - Mike always pretends not to notice - and jumps on his back making Mike wheeze as he wraps his arms around the back of Will’s legs to support him. In retaliation, Mike always uses Will’s head as a resting place wherever they are, even when he’s not tired. Will always sees through his bullshit but bears with it anyways. Mike also does that dramatic “Oh what’s this? Gravity is failing me!!” when Will is behind him and fall backwards to him while Will shrieks as he tries to to hold Mike’s weight up: “Michael Wheeler, if you don’t get up right now we’ll both fall, you hear me?! Both of us!

And of course, there are things that go unspoken. Like how when Mike wraps his arm around Will’s shoulder, he thinks about how Will would be the perfect little spoon. Like how when Will looks up at Mike’s laughing face and knows if he tiptoes just a bit he’ll be close to perfect kissing height. But they keep these thoughts unvoiced and if Mike initiates hugs more often and Will clings to them a little longer, neither of them say anything about it.

(It’s okay though. They don’t know it yet but one day a few years in the future, both of them will laugh at how stupid they were when they were younger. And Mike will discover that yes, Will really is the perfect little spoon even though his feet are as cold as icicles. And Will finds out that even on his tiptoes, Mike has to lean down a little to kiss him properly. 

But it’s a perfect kiss every time.)

Some of you might have noticed something kind of funny about people.

Almost none of them like Treasure Planet.

And, considering I joined this fandom well over three years ago by now, this comes as absolutely no surprise to me – and chances are, if you’ve known about this film for longer than, say, a day, it fails to surprise you, too. I mean, we’ve all heard the reasons, haven’t we – valid though they are, it’s depressing to hear them, the millions upon millions upon millions of them. 

  • “Sorry, the sci-fi just wasn’t my thing.”
  •  “I liked it okay, but I can’t see myself ever watching it again.”
  •  “The animation was good, but I didn’t really like the rest of it.”
  •  “It was…sort of weird to me.”
  •  “It doesn’t measure up to Treasure Island.”
  •  “It just wasn’t my cup of tea.”

Or - and here’s the one that gets to me: 

  • “I just really didn’t like the main kid.” 

The words come across as pretty innocent - it’s just a matter of preference, it’s just their opinion, live and let live, nothing wrong with disagreeing…and there’s not. There’s really, really not. You can hate Jim Hawkins as much as you want. But you can look me in the eye and can you tell me why you hate him? Can you tell me why, exactly, that’s the argument I’ve heard the most out of any of them? Can you tell me why, in my 3+ years in this wonderful fandom, in the thousands of days I’ve now spent promoting the shit out of this film every chance I get, can you tell me why that argument is the one I find myself dealing with the most? Can you look at me and can you tell me why you hate Jim Hawkins? Can you do that? 

Because here’s the thing - I can tell you why I love him. And I got shit to back up me up. 

Let’s get down to business. Let me tell you why I love Jim Hawkins - every habit, every quirk, every mannerism, every virtue, and every flaw. Let’s plunge right in.

  • He’s kind.

Sure, you can roll your eyes if you want to, but honestly? Being really, truly, simply, genuinely nice is such a rare quality in the world, and Jim has - and displays - this quality in abundance. I mean, for one thing, bringing Billy Bones to the Benbow when he seems ninety percent sure the guy’s just crazy? Yet he takes a chance anyway, because the sailor’s sick, the sailor’s injured, it’s raining really hard, he shouldn’t be out in this in his state, here, give me your arm, let me help you, you can come in out of the rain and stay in my house for a bit.

And what about the time he met that half-mad robot on Treasure Planet and, despite the fact that BEN blatantly oversteps his boundaries a good ten times (”Will you let go of me?/Stop touching me!”/Will you quit hugging me?”) or so within the first five minutes of their introduction, despite the fact that he is very obviously unhinged from all that time alone, despite the fact that BEN is loud and attention-drawing and the word stealthy isn’t in his vocabulary, despite the fact that he’s putting the captain and the doctor and himself in peril by doing so, Jim allows BEN to come with him - all he needs is to hear about the robot’s century of solitude, his loneliness, his desolation, and he just drops everything and says, “If you’re gonna come along…”  

And don’t even get me started on the deleted scenes - such as the one where he offers to fix this child’s scooter, even though he and this kid have never met before, never even spoken to one another, and yet he offers to fix this scooter because aww the kid’s sad let me fix it for you.

 Because, beneath that black jacket and that dark scowl of his, Jim has a huge, huge heart and it’s there and it’s evident for anyone willing to look. Because Jim just legitimately cares about other people, and there’s no ulterior motive, he doesn’t ask for compensation, he doesn’t expect anything in return, he just genuinely likes helping others. 

(And as I don’t happen to have an image on hand for the child’s scooter bit mentioned above, have a few bonus pictures of times when Jim was nice) 

Comforting a frightened Morph despite the fact that his life is in the most immediate and intense danger

And how about the time he lets a pirate - the leader of a mutiny in which he was supposed to be killed - walk the fuck away from him because he believes there’s good in Silver

Don’t get me started on this kid and his kindness. Don’t. Get me started.

  • And he’s smart.

I don’t mean passing-his-finals-with-flying-colors oh-haha-that-was-a-total-seat-of-my-pants-test can’t-believe-I-pulled-through-with-a-B I-was-pulling-answers-out-of-my-ass kind of smart.

I mean completely, incredibly, off-the-charts, blow-your-mind brilliant. He might be failing his high school classes, but it’s certainly not due to the challenge; he doesn’t put any effort into his work because he just doesn’t care. I mean, we even hear Sarah state that he built his first solar surfer when he was eight. So let’s let that sink in for a second.

This kid 

was no older than that when he built one of these

Just let that sit a minute. He built one of those gizmos 

when he was eight fucking years old. Hell, I’m not one hundred percent sure I understand them now, and he was eight and he understood them so well he could make them. (Sure, he ultimately uses it to cause trouble and ride straight into restricted areas, but it still makes him pretty brainy.) 

And not to mention, when Silver tries to teach him how to steer a skiff, he doesn’t even let the guy finish his sentence before he starts powering it up. Despite the other’s best attempts to stop him, Jim ignites the engine and sends them whirling straight into a comet. He fucking steers a boat - with limited knowledge, considering Silver didn’t get a chance to teach him everything - he steers a boat into a comet, and rides that comet to its end and does it without ever missing a beat, without ever throwing himself or his companion out of the boat, without ever messing up or getting hurt or hurting Silver or anything, just gets the hang of it right off the bat.

And at the end of it, all Silver says is, “If I could maneuver a skiff like that when I was your age, they’d be bowing in the streets when I walked by today!” 

Oh, and did I mention he powers up a century-old crashed boat in sixty seconds? No? Well, he did that, too.

Oh, and he also made another solar surfer, this time at fifteen, out of the useless parts of their failing ship while the planet explodes around them.

And, when said surfer begins failing, threatening to send him plummeting to his death in a raging river of lava bubbling and frothing beneath him, he keeps it going - literally rams it into the wall, striking it against the metal surface until enough friction occurs to power the thrusters again, and he does this all in the space of thirty seconds.

Oh, and he figured out where Flint’s trove was hidden before anyone else, just based on the fragmented bits and pieces he’d picked up from other people

And did I mention yet that he was the only one who could open the map leading to the planet? 

There were people thirty and forty years his senior trying to figure it out

and he figures it out in seconds

  • And he’s brave

Remember when he casually faced down a whole crew of pirates three and four times over, all in the space of twenty-four hours? 

And how about the fact that he refuses, at great risk to himself, to open the map for the pirates - until Silver threatens the captain and the doctor? 

Or when he’s fixing that hundred-year-old boat we discussed earlier, and tells BEN to leave without him if he can’t get away in the next five minutes? 

Oh, and when the star Pellucid goes supernova on their voyage and the hands are sent to secure the solar sails, not only does Jim immediately ascend, no hesitation

he also spots Silver, who followed him there, fall from his perch, and literally fucking throws himself down onto the wood and hauls the cook - who, to be honest, has a good hundred pounds on Jim and probably almost took the kid down with him, and definitely dragged the kid closer to the edge than would be advised - back up to safety. 

And later in the film, he receives an order from the captain to scout ahead and find them a better place to hide - and even though the pirates were spotted seconds earlier, circling the skies in a longboat, Jim expresses no hesitation, simply obeys.

And, oh, uh, you remember that solar surfer we talked about earlier, the one he constructed as the planet bursts into flames and burns down around him? 

Yeah, here he is riding it through the fires and eruptions and random debris, here he is casually risking his life to save everyone else, most of them being pirates who would have loved to see him dead.

Yep, don’t mind him, he’s just saving everyone else. He might die doing it, but damn, he’s doing it anyway.

But wait. I did promise to discuss his flaws as well, and, so far, I haven’t been making good on that promise, have I? 

Fear not, for Jim Hawkins is far from perfect and it’s time for us to explore the reasons why.

  • He’s impulsive

While most readily refer to this as a “Mary Sue trait” and “not really a flaw” , I can’t help but disagree; if we consider it an undesirable trait in a real person, why on earth would we think it little more than a cute quirk in a fictional character? Believe me when I say, Jim’s consistent failure to think before he acts is not a charming little thing - it’s a flaw, plain and simple. 

For all Jim’s kindness, for all his bravery and unfailing ability to think fast on his feet, he is impulsive as all hell.

Like when he, in his first meeting with Silver, throws out several thinly-veiled accusations - showing his cards, playing his whole hand right off the bat on the off chance that his opponent might show his, too. 

Unsurprisingly, of course, Silver does not rise to the bait - meaning Jim revealed everything to the man who will later become his enemy, in a sense losing the only advantage he really held, whereas Silver lost nothing and now has additional information to help him on his way. And all this could have been avoided had Jim just kept his mouth shut. 

And that time when he attempted to eavesdrop on a couple of the other hands cause he thought they were acting suspicious 

But it’s not long before they notice him and immediately shut up - meaning Jim has now given his suspicions away to four different people, four people whom he suspects. (Five, if you count Oxy and Moron as two.)

Or how about when they find that map we talked about earlier, and when he opens it up and realizes it leads to Treasure Planet, his first thought is to follow it? Like, this could be anything. A trap, a red herring, a fool’s errand, and Jim just throws himself headlong into it because look there’s a slim chance it could be treasure let’s go right now! 

I mean, there’s just no room for doubt: Jim is super impulsive, and that’s not a good quality to have. Sure, it gets shit done, but cautious people get shit done too, and they probably get it done better because they’re not making snap decisions every 2.5 seconds.

  • And Jim is selfish

Sure, we all love him. Well, some of you hate him, and some of you love to hate him, but the sentiment stands; we all love Jim, but you can’t love somebody for too long without noticing his flaws. And Jim has his flaws. 

And it’s especially obvious in scenes like this 

where we see that Jim was just out on a joyride while his mother visibly struggles to run the inn by herself. 

It’s obvious he uses that solar surfing hobby to escape, to distract him from his problems after a tough day, but this, in turn, suggests that he feels his problems at the moment are more important than Sarah’s, and so puts himself before his mother.

And he makes things harder on her than probably anyone else in her life, going out and getting in trouble all the time and bringing the police to her door 

Not only is this probably really bad for business, it’s also likely embarrassing and obviously upsetting for poor Sarah - yet Jim offers no apology, offers almost nothing beyond the words, “Mom, it’s no big deal!”  

And when they open the map and realize where it leads, Jim jumps on the chance to leave Sarah

Not just their lonely little planet, but Sarah, he wants to leave her. And though his intentions here are honorable (”We could rebuild the Benbow a hundred times over!” / “I’ll make you proud!”) it still fails to completely sugarcoat the fact that he left her there, lured away by the promise of adventure. 

Because Jim is selfish. 

  • He’s touchy, and defiant as all hell.

Sure, this is a flaw. Sure, it’s not a great quality to have. Sure, it holds him back more than anything, and it probably gets him in more trouble than it’s worth - but I still tip my hat to Disney for introducing this flaw at all. It has been proven in the past that children with absentee parents - particularly boys with neglectful fathers -  tend to become obstinate teens with no regard for authority, and I’m just so proud of them for doing their research on that one. 

Admittedly, however, this quality does cause him more trouble than it’s worth. I mean, he makes himself an enemy out of the scariest alien aboard in the first five minutes, all because he has to have the last word.

As a matter of fact, when I think about it, Jim has single-handedly gotten on the bad side of every one of these pirates on board this ship, with the obvious exception of Silver, and he does it all because he is just that feisty.

On the other hand, however, his pluck is the first thing Silver notices - and likes - about him. It’s obvious that while the pirate captain plans to work the spunk out of him, he can’t help but respect it, too.

Like, for instance, on Treasure Planet, when Jim refuses to allow Silver to leave without him 

there’s an instant where Silver looks like he’s about to argue 

and he could, he could just hold the captain, the doctor, or even BEN at gunpoint, and chances are, Jim would likely obey just to spare those he cares for. Despite the fact that Silver is clearly the one in power here, he gives into Jim’s demands - because, even if he doesn’t like it, Jim’s defiance is something he can respect. They may be enemies now, but Silver recognizes and respects that Jim makes a worthy enemy.

  • And let’s not forget that he’s stubborn.

Seriously, once he’s found something to fight for, he’ll fight for that, and he’ll get it, no matter what it takes, and there’s nobody in the world that can change his mind. If he gets it in his head that he wants to do something, if he gets it in his head that he should do something, he’ll do it, no matter what. 

And in some cases, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It means he has a strong sense of right and wrong and knows the difference between the two, and will do what he believes to be right, regardless of what other people say. He has a moral code, and a strong one, at that, and he rarely deviates from it. And this is actually a good thing when, say, there’s a treasure-hunting pirate captain attempting to bribe him into betraying the captain and the doctor and handing over the map. 

And, when this fails and Silver resorts to trying to frighten him into submission, the kid doesn’t even blink. He can’t be bought, and he sure as hell can’t be intimidated. 

Of course, this isn’t always a good quality to have; while it does make him more resistant to tactics such as temptation, it also makes him inflexible and, in some cases, extremely resistant to change, even when that change would be for the better. 

But that iron will has another advantage. 

  • It makes him hardworking.

Whether it’s as trivial as swabbing the deck, or as enormous as seeking out a legendary treasure trove, if Jim sees the point in a task - if he sees, for himself, why it’s worthy of his time - he will put his all into it, no questions asked. So though most would call him a delinquent, and while the robo-cops on Montressor outright tell him that he is a loser

Jim is actually extremely industrious and capable - he just doesn’t always show it. But it’s there, if you know how to look.

Like when Silver leaves him with this huge pile of dishes in the galley

and he just picks up his brush and keeps right on going 

and in fact, is so determined to finish up that damn stack that he ends up falling asleep in the galley, head resting on the pot in his hand

but the dishes around him are gleaming.

Or how about when he was failing at school at the beginning of the film, and by the end, he has graduated from the prestigious Interstellar Academy? 

Can you imagine how much work it must have taken to get himself into that Academy? I mean, how long did it take for him to pull those grades up, to convince others he was really serious about this, and can you imagine how much work it took to get through the Academy once he got there? But Jim got there anyway, and he did graduate, and he did do all that amazing stuff, and he did it because he works hard. 

Oh and remember

  • He was lost

Though by the end of the film Jim is high-spirited and confident, we know from the beginning that it wasn’t always so. His father’s absence left a hole in him, a hole he felt it was too big to fill - a hole that left him feeling worthless and rejected, it left him feeling angry and defeated, and it left him thinking he wasn’t good enough. It left him with a strong, deep-seated fear of abandonment, and more than that, it left him searching - searching and searching and never quite finding the missing piece he so desperately needed. 

Jim felt he had no future; Jim felt he wasn’t worth a future; Jim didn’t really know where he was going, and that’s the kind of relatability I’ve come to expect from Dreamworks. I don’t go into a Disney film expecting to find real characters, so this came as a pleasant surprise.

And something else I’ll probably never get over

  • Jim is sensitive 

So, this one actually sounds funny. I mean, I just said earlier how selfish Jim is, right? How he’s always putting himself before Sarah? Yeah. That whole argument still stands. It’s just that Jim isn’t all selfish, all the time. Can he be selfish? Yes. Extremely. Is he selfish? Sometimes. But he’s also, as mentioned before, a genuinely nice person. A person with honest empathy. His instances of self-absorption don’t cancel that out.

Now, while most define a sensitive person as “one who understands and feels for others” - and while Jim certainly does that, too - we’ve already tackled that. We’ve talked about Jim as a compassionate and thoughtful individual, and I’m not here to talk about it again, though I could.

No, there are drawbacks to feeling for others, and I’m here to talk about them.

I mean, Jim cares about other people - Jim feels deeply for people, deeply enough to welcome complete strangers into his house and offer lonely individuals a place at his side, Jim just feels for people even if he’s never experienced their hardships for himself. And if he can feel so strongly for strangers, if he can look upon a person he hardly knows and want to help ease their pain, if his heart squeezes upon seeing others’ suffering, how much do you think it hurts when he experiences his own? 

His father, for example. An indifferent, neglectful parent, the heartache they cause, it would sting even the most impervious - but for somebody as thin-skinned and tender-hearted as Jim, it absolutely devastates him. And when the man finally gives up on his family, leaving behind his wife and their eight-year-old, it just tears the kid apart.

As a matter of fact, it hurts Jim so deeply that it takes him seven years just to realize that it wasn’t his fault, or anyone’s; his father’s rejection caused him so much pain that he is well into his adolescence before he can even begin to accept that he’s gone.

But this isn’t just one instance; it’s not merely a festering childhood wound, no. Jim takes the slightest slip-up straight to heart - and upon believing he caused Mr. Arrow’s death, he spends what appears to be hours beating himself up for this perceived failure. 

And ultimately, he might have continued indefinitely had Silver not intervened and comforted him.

And of course, less than twenty-four hours later, Silver tells his bloodthirsty crew - and, unwittingly, an eavesdropping Jim - that his attentions were all for show, that he had to be nice to the kid to keep him from suspecting the crew of anything shady, he had to win the lad’s trust or risk his suspicion…and Jim really believes it, and, in fact, is so hurt, that he appears to take a moment to swallow back tears. 

Jim is just so easy to hurt. 

And to be honest, it’s great; it makes his empathy for others more believable - after all, if his own wounds have left such obvious marks, who’s to say another’s tribulations won’t win over his sensitive heart? 

And, hey, hey, don’t forget

  • He’s just a kid

I mean, he’s doing all this awesome shit, he’s building solar surfers

 and saving lives

and working his ass off and being super kind and impulsive and defiant and selfish and everything, he’s doing all this, and he’s only fifteen years old. Like. He’s fifteen. He’s not even an adult yet. He’s not even of legal age. He’s just casually amazing at fifteen, but what do you think he’ll be like in five years, ten years, twenty?

As Silver says, he really is going to rattle the stars.

Now let’s review before we go: 

  • Jim is kind.
  • Jim is smart.
  • Jim is brave.
  • Jim is impulsive
  • Jim is selfish
  • Jim is touchy and defiant as all hell.
  • Jim is stubborn
  • Jim is hardworking.
  • Jim was lost.
  • Jim is sensitive
  • Jim is just a kid

Just please, for the love of all that is good and holy, don’t ever forget Jim Hawkins.

Since the scene where Patton wanted to change places with someone I have this scenario stuck in my head.

One day they try to mess with Thomas a bit. When they get called they appear wearing the same clothes, same hair, the same neutral expression, and they’ve switched places between all of them. (Probably Patton’s idea as a bonding experience of some sort, because let’s face it he’s the only one that can bring everyone to participate.) 

Thomas is a bit confused at first but figures it out soon enough. The first to betray himself is, surprisingly or not, Roman. Because his gestures aren’t just show, it’s who he is and he can’t even breathe without making it dramatic. So, the second he only does so much as shifting his weight from one foot to another it’s obvious. Even that tiny movement just screams Princey.

Patton is next because when Roman complains about being found out first he can’t help but starts to giggle and a big smile appears on his face.

That leaves the last two. Virgil has stopped slouching for a moment and stands straight and because he and Logan are more used to wearing neutral faces there’s not much difference between them. 

Suddenly Thomas has an idea and he starts talking about a random subject but throws in some false facts and misuses more than a few words. Of course, Logan knows that he does this on purpose and that Thomas knows the right facts but nevertheless, it only takes a few minutes till one of Logan’s eyes begins to twitch and he breaks down, correcting every false fact, every misuse and on top of that, adding tons of new information to the topic.

Even without being the last one, Virgil’s eye roll over Logan’s lack of self-control would have been a clear sign to his identity.

#omegaverse #mutual-pining #angst

Prompts: @fiftypurpleroses
Author: @queenofthyme

It comes out of absolutely nowhere. One moment Harry is sitting in Charms class, innocently focusing on the lesson, the next he’s fantasizing in great detail about fucking Draco Malfoy.

All his senses are honed into Malfoy, sitting two rows ahead of him. And look, it’s not like Harry hasn’t thought about it before, but not like this. Not so strongly that he can’t think of anything else. Not so wildly that he wouldn’t be opposed to doing it in the middle of the class, students and teacher be damned.

Malfoy is squirming in his seat, restlessly fidgeting, and Harry isn’t sure how, but he can tell Malfoy is aroused as well. Can tell the bead of sweat dripping down the back of Malfoy’s red neck is a sign of it. Can tell that Malfoy would certainly be open to a mid-class fucking. Except how can he know that? It must all be wishful thinking, a product of his own arousal.

Although when Malfoy excuses himself and strides past Harry to the door, there’s no mistaking the lustful stare directed Harry’s way, or the smell of Malfoy’s arousal. The smell? What the fuck.

Harry quickly excuses himself, not even bothering to come up with a reason, and follows Malfoy out into the corridor, all his senses on fire. Malfoy is waiting for him, pacing the hallway, his eyes filling with heat as Harry approaches.

Without thinking, Harry grabs hold of Malfoy and slams him against the wall, ready to ravish him completely, right here in the open. But a tiny glimmer of fear shows in Malfoy’s eyes amongst his arousal and the charm is broken.

Harry takes a step back, blinking. What was he just about to do? “Sorry. I didn’t mean to – “

Malfoy laughs humourlessly, cutting Harry off. “Harry Potter is an alpha. Of fucking course. I was supposed to be an alpha.”

“An alpha?” Harry repeats. His brain is foggy from suppressing his arousal. “What are you talking about?”

“How do I even explain? It’s – look, you’re an alpha. The top dog. The lead. The dominant one,” he says resentfully. “I’m, well, I don’t know what I am now.” He slumps back up against the wall.

Harry still doesn’t quite understand. But he can hardly see how his “alpha” status, whatever it is, has any influence on Malfoy’s. “Can’t you be an alpha too?” He asks.

Malfoy rolls his eyes at Harry’s naivety. “We can’t both be alphas.”

Keep reading

Wedding prep

Filling a prompt from @missweber




Bitty closed the screen of his laptop very gently.

Then he buried his face in his hands, scrubbed them over his eyes, and said “Good Lord.”

He only jumped a little when he heard Jack’s voice behind him.

“Everything all right?”

Bitty twisted around to face Jack, not concerned about the way his hair was going every which way from his fingers raking through it, and said, “Can we elope already? I don’t think I can stand six more months of this.”

Jack filled a glass from the kitchen and tap and said, “Which one? Mine or yours?”

“Mine,” Bitty groaned. “I swear she thinks it’s not a real wedding without yards of white organza and orange blossoms. She keeps sending me pictures of men decked out in white tailcoats with ridiculous pastel cummerbunds and ties. And there was a link to a story where you could rent doves to release to … symbolize something or other. I told her we just wanted a low-key wedding. Why is she doing all this?”

Jack leaned against the counter and drank his water.

“Is she feeling left out, maybe?” he said. “Because we’re doing it in Montreal?”

“I don’t know.” Bitty said. “Maybe. Probably. But I don’t care if same-sex marriage is legal – there’s nowhere in Madison that I would want to do this. Even at home – it could make things difficult for Coach. And too many people would get wind of it here in Providence.”

Jack considered.

“Parse suggested we head out to Vegas,” he said. “Then at least she wouldn’t feel like she’s losing out to my parents.”

“First, no,” Bitty said. “Not Vegas. And second, it’s not a competition! Your folks have room, and it’s private, and they offered. They even offered to let my folks stay at the house. What more does she want?”

“Maybe something to do?” Jack suggested. “So she’d feel part of it?”

“But you should see what she’s sent, Jack. How can I put her in charge of flowers or wedding favors or anything if she’s trying to make this into a recreation of Princess Diana’s wedding to Prince Charles?”

“Wasn’t that like, in the ‘80s?”

“When my mother was in prime dreaming-of-weddings mode, yes, Jack. Flower girls, Jack. She wants flower girls. Does she think we can just rent them?”

“It’ll be all right, lapinou,” Jack said. “Let me shower and then we can head for the market, OK?”

*******************************

“Of course I care about Uncle Mario and Uncle Wayne, and Ray and Steve and all of them, and Julia and Meg and Sandra too,” Jack said to his mother later. “But we can’t have them all at the wedding, Maman. This is my wedding, mine and Bittle’s, not yours and Papa’s.”

He paced on the balcony in the chilly air, his phone held up to his ear. He paused to listen, glad that Bitty was busy in the kitchen with his music going and couldn’t hear his half of the conversation.

“I know they care about me,” he said. “And marrying Bittle is well worth celebrating, I agree. But we really want to celebrate with our friends – our friends from Samwell, and Providence, and some of Eric’s family. Even with that, I’m counting about 50 people, give or take. But at least none of them require their own security.”

“Thanks, Maman. If you want, maybe we can have a party after we get back from France? Invite the whole world if you want. It can be your world, but I’ll bring Eric so you can show him off.”

“Yes, Maman, Eric said he got the pictures of the suits you sent. He liked them, I think, but there was some change … I don’t remember. You’re going to have to talk to him.”

Jack ended the call and went into the kitchen.

“I think I have it sorted,” he said. “But we might have to show up at a party when we get back from the honeymoon. I told her to talk to you about the suits.”

“Mm,” Bitty said, concentrating on a tiny lattice for a mini-pie. “As long as they’re not white, they’re fine, really.”

“I have an idea,” Jack said. “Tell me if it’s too much.”

“OK.”

“You know how we were going to Montreal over the bye week to taste food and pick a florist and all?”

“Yeah?”

“Why don’t we invite your parents to come, too? Or just your mom, if your father is busy?”

“Because?”

“Because then she could feel like she’s involved,” Jack said. “Don’t worry about all the white lace and stuff. Maman will make sure we get something you’d approve of. But then Maman would also have someone to gush to.”

“She does think your mother’s a style icon,” Bitty said.

“She’s never seen my mother in yoga pants and one of my dad’s old T-shirts,” Jack said. “And anyway, my mother thinks your mother is refreshingly unjaded and one of the most genuinely nice people she has ever met.”

Bitty snorted. “Yes, well, she’s never challenged my mother’s jam supremacy.”

“So you think it will work?”

“Probably,” Bitty said.

“Good,” Jack said. “Then they can both convince you it’s not a good idea to make five dozen mini-pies with lattice tops for party favors the day before the wedding.”

Request: Sharp Objects

Request: HI I love your fics!! could you do a deanxreader where dean broke his right hand on a hunt and can’t shave himself so the reader, with hidden feelings for dean, does it for him with lots of fluff please

Word Count: 1,270

Thank you<3

“Ouch! Jesus Christ, that’s a bitch.” The muffled cursing comes from behind the bathroom door, then followed by the clinking sound of something falling into the ceramic sink, and finally a, “Son of a bitch!”

Despite the laundry pile you’re carrying, you swerve across towards the door and knock a couple of times with your free hand, “Dean? Everything alright in there?”

There’s a moment of silence, and then a short reply, “Fine.”

He’s obviously frustrated – a tone you’ve quickly become accustomed to hearing after dragging him home from the hospital a few days ago. He’d landed badly after being catapulted across the room by an overzealous ghost and broken a hand, whereas Sam had gotten off with a concussion and you’d somehow managed to slip away injury-free – which had inevitably resulted in you skivvying around to cater to their every whim.

While Sam had managed to get over himself somewhat and take it easy while the hellish egg on his head goes down, Dean has been trying to do everything as normal. He hates being laid up like this, and trying to get everything done for himself has just resulted in more hurt and hindrance than help.

You still linger outside the door for a few moments, “Can I help at all?”

He hesitates, and for a long moment you wonder if he’s actually going to accept, “I could use a clean towel.”

“Got one here. Mind opening the door?” You ask, after trying to get in and finding the door locked. Again, a hesitation, but then the door opens, Dean fumbling with his good hand for a few moments to get it undone.

You pride yourself on being able to keep a poker face. Sometimes giving the enemy no indication of your emotions could mean the difference between life and death – sometimes it’s imperative that a victim doesn’t know what you’re thinking. But this time, when it’s important that you don’t make a sound so Dean doesn’t slam the door in your face, you just can’t seem to freaking manage it.

“I know, alright?” He huffs as you sidle into the bathroom and begin draping the towels from the pile over the towel rack, trying desperately not to laugh. It’s not your fault – he’s covered in shaving cream – it’s smudged over his nose and there are even splatters in his eyebrows. It’s all white, apart from a trail of crimson blood slipping down the side of his face.

“You can’t shave left-handed?” You guess, taking note of the razor left in the sink and the cast immobilising his right hand. He sighs wearily, and then nods.

“Nope. I’ve never had to try before, and I was starting to look even more homeless than Sam.” He complains, taking a towel from you when you offer one to him.

“Dean, for crying out loud, you shattered your hand. I think you’re allowed to look homeless for a little while.” You reassure him, balancing the rest of the laundry – mostly jeans and a handful of flannels – on the countertop, “If you really want it sorted, I’ll do it for you.”

As soon as the offer has left your mouth, you regret it – the very idea of managing to get so close to him without blushing like a five year old, or completely losing your breath… impossible. And yet, he nods, smiling ruefully.

“Would you mind? I just… can’t.” He shrugs, and you smile back, nodding and shooing him off towards the closed toilet seat.

“Go on then, sit down.” You instruct, picking up the razor and running the warm tap to clear it off. You let the tap run for a little while, filling the basin, and then approach Dean carefully, “You have to promise to stay still. Usually when I’m so close to someone with something this sharp it doesn’t end very well for them.”

He laughs, leaning back with the force of it, “That’s not encouraging, Y/N.”

“I said I’d do it. I never said I’d do it well.” You remind him with a smile – humour: humour is how you get through this without making a complete idiot of yourself.

“Much appreciated, beautiful.” He winks, and it’s all you can do to force out a snort and place your fingers beneath his chin to tilt his head up a little.

“Mm, whatever you say,” Sometimes it’s difficult not to take his words too seriously, and you have to remind yourself that Dean Winchester can and will flirt with anything that moves – you’re not special to him beyond being good friends and hunting buddies.

“Well, the closer you get, the more I’m thinking it.” He mumbles, remaining still as stone as you skin the razor over his skin smoothly – you’re painstakingly careful, starting on the opposite side to the cut on his lower cheek. He chuckles when you lean back to dunk the razor in the sink, then move back over to him.

“I’ll stay well back, then.” You wink in response, but contradict your own statement by leaning close enough to him that his breath ghosts over your face. His eyes remain trained on your face, watching every movement as you press your lips together, squinting in concentration. You try your best to ignore it, being as careful and steady as your humanly can manage while you get to work.

His eyes don’t leave you until you’re finished, patting down his face with a towel and then handing it to him – only then does he force himself to look away, watching as you clear up and set everything back in its place.

When he finally manages to open his mouth, he’s expecting the words that come out to be ‘thanks, Y/N’ – instead, they’re, “When you’re concentrating, your nose does this funny little thing.”

You turn slowly, quirking an eyebrow in a manner he can only describe as adorable, “Excuse me?”

“It kinda… wrinkles. But just at the tip. Right here.” He taps his own nose, a small smile playing on his lips, “And you blink a lot. I just… never noticed before.” Dean confesses, giving a nonchalant shrug and trying to ask as if he isn’t mortified by the words.

Rather than make a comment, you give a smile, wiping your hands off and stepping back, “I suppose I’m not the kind of person people pay a whole lot of attention to.” It’s not meant to be self-deprecating, but Dean takes it that way nonetheless.

“You have got to be kidding me.” He rolls his eyes, standing up and poking at the cast as if his hand would be magically healed, “Y/N, you turn heads everywhere you go.”

“Yeah, right, of course.”

“Hey, look at me,” He takes your wrist in his hand, turning you to face him properly, “You’re beautiful. Really, truly beautiful. And smart, and kind, and funny. And people notice that. I notice that.”

That’s when your heart really does skip a beat – his eyes are on yours, emeralds glinting in the harsh white light of the bunker’s main bathroom.

“Dean, I-“

“You don’t need to reply to that. Didn’t mean to back you into a corner. Sorry.” Dean smiles sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck with his good hand – but you shake your head, stepping forward with all of the boldness you can muster.

“I want to.” You assure him, taking his good hand and squeezing it gently, “I don’t care about anyone else noticing. Just you.”

He hesitates, then glances sideways, at the door, “Can I kiss you?” He blurts, flushing red like an embarrassed teenager.

“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”  

13x01 - Episode Review Part 1

In which Dean just about held it together… and I did not. 

This review will be in several parts. I have separated it into several sections that I wish to talk about because hot damn. What an episode! This Part 1 focuses on Dean’s grief and Destiel and saying goodbye to Castiel. 

Firstly, an introduction

As I sit here, surrounded by three friends who I met on tumblr, BECAUSE of this show, I am amazed at how far I have come. I did not think that when I joined this fandom I would ever get to this moment, but my gosh what an amazing feeling this is. To all of you out there – reach out to people, you really won’t regret what you find. 

I adored this episode. I screamed, I even shed a single man tear whilst holding on to @amwritingmeta quite tightly… sorry Annelie if I hurt you at all. @tinkdw, @margarittet and @amwritingmeta you guys are wonderful and I am so glad that I have been able to flail and scream along to this awesome episode with you. Thank you for sharing this crazy obsession with me.

Part 1 - Love, Grief and Saying Goodbye

THEY USED METALLICA’S NOTHING ELSE MATTERS AS THE OPENING SONG! We were two seconds in and @margarittet had to pause because we all collectively SCREAMED that they chose to use this as the open song AS WELL! @tinkdw said that she wanted to try and guess what the opening song was this season but I don’t think ANY OF US considered that they would reuse “Nothing Else Matters” because its just so on the nose isn’t it? Nothing else matters? Nothing else matters than what exactly?

Well once again the “Then” sequence ends on Dean kneeling over Cas’s body.

The answer is Castiel. Nothing else matters than CASTIEL. This is repeated CONSTANTLY throughout the episode. You are not allowed to forget about him for a SINGLE SECOND and this opening song drums that home. Seriously if there are any Cas fans out there still bitter about Cas I dunno what show you are watching because it certainly ISN’T the show I watched yesterday.

It hurts to think about. What even was this episode? From the opening song “Nothing Else Matters” to the “Goodbye Cas” at the funeral pyre, this episode was chocablock full of moments that prove unequivocally that for Dean, Cas truly is his guiding light, his hope. Even if you don’t see their relationship as romantic you cannot possibly deny after 13x01 that Dean and Cas have an extraordinary connection and a deep and profound love that has now transferred to an even deeper excruciating grief in Dean.

Choosing to use this song as the season opener though? The season opener always reflects the tones of the season, the main themes. To have THIS song as the season opening? Wow. Just wow. This is a song that comes up first if you google “Metallica Love Song” by the way. In case you were wondering if it was indeed a love song. Because it is. James Hetfield confirmed it was written for a girlfriend. Interestingly though it has been debated over the years as the lyrics themselves are not conventionally romantic lyrics. Nevertheless, this is now fact: Supernatural used a Love Song called “Nothing Else Matters” to set the tone and theme of season 13, lingering over shots of Dean looking down at Castiel’s dead body. This isn’t even arguable. This is where we are.

(and what a wonderful place to be my friends)

Dean’s grief was beautifully portrayed by the superb acting skills of Jensen Ackles. In my season 13 wishlist I said this:

“It probably goes without saying but MAN PAIN OVER CAS – I mean, I reckon we are gonna get a good helping of this. Maybe not immediate tears but its gonna be pretty damn angsty – if the promo’s are anything to go by. I basically want it to be UNDENIABLE in canon that CAS is the reason that Dean is so broken up and that BOTH brothers are seriously struggling with his death. It has to be OBVIOUS how important Cas was to them and how his death has affected them

I think we can tick this one off. :)

Continues under the cut.

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Dating Jackson would include

Originally posted by candyapplejimin

Jackon Wang
- This boy
- Never a dull moment
- Sassing each other
- If you can’t reach something on a high shelf, Jackson will be like “I’ll handle it, babe”
- Then he goes to get Yugyeom to get whatever it is you need
- Calling you babe all the time tbh
- “Hey, babe”
- It’s just casual
- S k i n s h i p
- Back hugs
- Probably holding your waist or thighs a lot
- He’s not even trying to be sexual half the time, his hand just feels right there
- Inseure Jackson tbh
- He’ll lift up his shirt to show you his abs
- He knows you love it but he’s still insecure
- “Do I look good?”
- Your jaw is on the floor because what does hE MEAN OF COURSE HE LOOKS GOOD W H AT TH E H E C K
- You can’t listen to music without him singing along
- Not actually singing tho
- “Babe you don’t have to listen to Whitney Houston, I gotchu”
- “Wait no please do–”
- Cue Jackson screaming
- But when he does actually sing oml
- He doesn’t know it but you hear him singing when he thinks he’s alone and it’s the greatest thing in the world his voice is so nICE
- You have to move apartments like five times because Jackson starts fires while cooking probably
- Trying to watch a movie while Jackson is doing a handstand in front of the TV
- If you don’t pay attention to him he’ll just drop into the splits
- Right then and there- splits
- If the splits don’t work he’ll probably just take off his shirt
- Jackson backflipping across a parking lot to you because that’s how he is
- Your friends stay confused about how weird your boyfriend is but you’re so used to it by now that you’re like “???? what?????”
- Amusement park dates where he tries to win you giant stuffed animals
- Him trying to get you to work out with him
- “I can teach you how to do a backflip!!!!”
- “NO JACKSON”
- Uses Wang Puppy attack on you to get you to do what he wants
- It works every damn time
- Sweaty Jackson is the highlight of your life
- Shameless self promoter for GOT7
- You’re in the car and Jackson is controlling the music and you know what you’re gonna listen to? GOT7 damn straight
- “Can we listen to something else this time?”
- “oH SO YOU HATE GOT7?”
- You realize very on in the relationship that you cannot break up Markson
- “Can Mark come with us?”
- “#markson for life”
- “Mark is so beautiful”
- But you’re not even mad because you’re happy that there’s another person looking out for your boyfriend
- Jaebum telling you to control Jackson and you’re like “ ….. sorry I can’t…”
- Because you really can’t
- Going with him when he goes to China and meeting his parents
- Arguing over completely pointless things
- These arguments last for maybe ten minutes and then they don’t matter anymore
- J e a l o u s J a c k s o n
- “He disrespected you!!”
- “He just looked at me Jackson”
- “dISRESPECTED
- "New phone who dis”
- “JACKSON S T O P”
- Sleepy nights where he’s really worn out and actually quiet and you guys just lay on the couch with his head on your chest and you play with his hair