of course no one does

give me a voltron episode where they’re all on a planet covered in a million and a half different species of flowers and allura is like “i just think that perhaps you shouldn’t touch ANY of them” and of course lance is all “well what does this purple one do” and he touches it and it blurps out this goo on his hand and he yelps and tries to wipe it off on keith but keith blocks it with his hand and BOOM. their hands are stuck together. can’t pull away, cant find anything to get it off, NOTHING. allura is nearly crying because why does lance never LISTEN and shiro is just internally screaming three feet away while pidge laughs their ass off.

fast forward to them dealing with it on the ship. coran is running around trying to find information on the Snorfalus plant and how to remove the goo, but until they have an answer, they’re quite literally stuck holding hands.

keith is pissed because, if there’s an emergency, he wants to pilot his lion. but lance is fighting to have it so they go in his, and it becomes this huge thing that escalates and they’re both thisclose to punching each other when pidge kindly reminds them that neither of them can pilot at all if one of their hands is covered in this super-alien-force glue. keith is dying inside. lance tries to make a pun and keith kicks his shin. it’s a hot mess.

it gets even worse when hunk oh so sweetly asks how they’re going to end up sleeping tonight if they’re stuck this way. cue keith turning bright red and stumbling over his words for three minutes before lance sighs loudly and says “i swear, if you’re a blanket hog, i’m putting you on the floor.” needless to say, neither of them sleep very well that night in lance’s cot, both of them staring up at the ceiling, too embarrassed to say that they know the other one is awake.

just imagine keith and lance trying to do their every day routines while being forced to hold hands because of this goo. eating at the table, standing next to each other at meetings about next steps, attempting to train together.

at first, it’s rocky. they both walk at different paces so they trip over each other, they go in different directions at the same time and then get snapped back together and fall over, and there is zero privacy at all. but as the days go on, something shifts and they start bickering less. they communicate better, start falling into step and accomodating each other instead of pushing to be in control. their movements become fluid in training and they’re strong. stronger together than they were apart, even. and it’s noticeable.

maybe that’s why coran hid that he knows how to remove the goo for an extra week. either way, when it’s finally gone and keith and lance are free, the team works as a unit even better than before. lance and keith have each other’s backs like it’s just instinct now, can predict each other’s movements, and it makes them all that much stronger and better as a team.

keith won’t ever admit that he misses the constant feeling of lance’s palm pressed tight against his own. it’s a shame, really, considering that the only thing lance misses more than earth is the way keith’s fingers felt entwined with his own.

Fact: There is a longstanding misconception that pansexuality ‘is not real’ and ‘does not exist’. This is largely due to the fact that pansexuals are considered mythical cryptids who are hard to find if one does not know where to look. Of course; pansexuality is completely real, but pansexuals are simply masters of disguise and only choose to appear to those they trust. Should you encounter a pansexual, feel very, very honoured.

About ships

Boy and Girl: *blush at each other*

People: it’s canon.

Two boys: *blush at each other, hug, think about each other all day, hold hands, stare at each other lovingly, dream about each other, share lots of intimate affectionate moments*

People: look at those bros! Such strong friendship!

People: *brush hands with friends of the same gender* no homo!

2

I see your “keith is the only one affected by lance’s pickup lines” and I raise you “Keith wildly misinterprets all of lance’s pickup lines”.

The lines for those that don’t know them:

I’m homesick for earth, but I’m lovesick for you.

I think you’re purr-fect.

You’re outta this world, and I would know!

I better use ice blast… because my heart’s on fire.

The one that does work of course is the first pickup line on the official list. Maybe one day I’ll draw Keith’s reaction to that one!

((it affects everyone a little differently

@imitationknife i love your au and everything to do with it))

Seriously…I just…why?? I love Louis’ face though, he glances at Harry with a tiny frown like “What the fuck are you doing Harold?” and then gives a little tiny smirk like “Oh”

And I’m over here like “Wooahh!”

Watching the Princess Bride I kept thinking about how awesome it would be for Cas to use his pop culture knowledge and start saying “As You Wish” to Dean. But then I realised that he doesn’t need to say “As You Wish” because he already has his own version.

“Of Course”.

I need a PB&J fic with like..established Pimms, and Jack meets and falls for Bitty and he keeps telling Kent, “You have to meet him, he’s so amazing.  He’s sweet and attractive and I know you’re going to love him.”

And Kent just keeps putting it off and putting it off.

Eventually Jack is like, “Kenny just tell me, WHY you won’t meet him!”

And Kent just goes, “Because I don’t trust your judgment.”

And Jack is like…???  What??  And Kent is like, “Babe…you fell in love with me.  You literally have the worst taste in men.  I’m sorry but I just don’t have any faith that this guy isn’t an epic disaster.  And we both know there’s only room for one of those in this relationship.”

Then of course Kent eventually does meet Bitty and falls in love (because how can he not) and they all live happily ever after.

In honor of the Olympics…

VOLTRON OLYMPIC AU

  • Shiro is a beach volleyball player.
  • Lance is a swimmer.
  • Keith is a gymnast.
  • Hunk doing weight-lifting
  • Pidge is an archer and one of the youngest in the games.
  • Allura competing in the women’s all-around gymnastics, and Coran is her coach.
  • Keith hanging out at the practice pool because he’s thirsty and watching Lance swim and oh no he’s hot
  • He feels really un-patriotic for rooting for the hot guy and not his own country, but he does it anyway (in his head, of course).
  • No one expects Pidge to win any of their events because they’re a child, but, surprisingly, they come in first place.
  • Allura is very flexible and is best at the balance beam.
  • Keith doing parallel bars and asking Allura to practice with him because she’s pretty much the best out there.
  • She does it, since she’s super nice (and they aren’t competing against each other) and she cheers for him at his competition.
  • He tries hard to make her proud
  • Hunk just completely annihilating the competition
  • Lance nick-naming Pidge “Katniss Everdeen”
  • Shiro getting a bloody nose from getting hit in the face at full force with a volleyball, but finishing the game anyway.
  • Lance having a really strange pre-game ritual of eating an orange slice 45 minute before the game, talking to a picture of his mom and saying that he’ll make her proud, complimenting himself in the mirror, and putting/taking off his goggles 3 times.
  • Allura’s team’s leotards are super sparkly and she looks like a beautiful goddess
  • “You can’t date someone from a different country’s team.”
  • “Fucking witness me”
  • Asexual Shiro “They don’t call me an ace for nothing” (get it??? like… like a good serve-)
  • Lance hits his head on the side of the pool often when he doesn’t pay attention

A Ritual to Read to Each Other

20 Chapters/101,463 Words ~ Johnlock ~ Rated E ~ Includes Spotify Playlist

After Mycroft terminated his exile but before Sherlock could escape from the infuriating plane, John and Mary were whisked away by car to an unknown location.

Sherlock hasn’t seen them for an entire year.

He doesn’t know when he’ll see John again – until one day, he does.

But, of course, nothing is simple.

lupinatic  asked:

Current mood: Amni'zak Gregory comes to visit LA (he goes back and forth between LA and Khura'in bc the rebels were still his family for like a quarter of a century) and he visits Miles in his office and Miles finds himself having to admit that yes, he used to wear that jacket. The magenta version of von Karma's, the one on the wall. Yes Father, I actually wore that. Yes, on my actual body. Why is that so hard to believe? And Greg is just dying all over again

OH MYG OD

OHHHHHHHHHH MY GOD

greg wants pictures 

So as of today we are officially an occupied nation.

The Republicans who whined and moaned about the threat of Russia in the 80′s and how they needed their guns to keep the Commies out just opened the door and let them in. Oh, but now that they’re no longer Communist, the fact that their government is once again an evil, oppressive dictatorship doesn’t matter. They’re capitalists, so that makes them good guys again no matter how many political opponents Vladimir Putin poisons with plutonium. (Not an exaggeration. He has done this. Google it.)

Given that Trump is already blatantly breaking American laws and violating the Constitution, I give him at most 2 years before impeachment. Maybe less; the Republicans who run Congress don’t actually like him, and would probably prefer Pence, who is more solidly and predictably one of them.

Of course, if Donald Trump does get impeached over the laws he’s already broken or the ones he will break in the future, we do all have to show up in DC with signs that say “DONALD: YOU’RE FIRED!” That’ll be fun. 

But god only knows what hell we’ll go through before then, and it’s not like Pence is substantially better from a basic human rights perspective.

anonymous asked:

Yuri plisetsky and his fem! s/o going to the Olympics for figure skating (him for Russia and her for a different country).... Headcannons... Please!

-They’re the biggest power couple there

-Always come to cheer each other on

-Always there for each other’s point reveals 

-And they’re near the rink when the other one skates

-Yuri, of course, does it in a subtle way

-If (when) they both win the gold medal, Yuri will be the most smug person ever

-Lowkey rubs it into everyone’s faces

  • Griffin: "How do I improve my scorpions? My scorpions are okay but not the best. How do I improve them? I've been struggling with them for months."
  • Travis: That's it?
  • Justin: That's so important.
  • Travis: That's the context? Best at what? Best in what capacity?
  • Justin: Okay, with scorpions you have four basic criteria for judging their quality.
  • Griffin: It's their four danger zones, right?
  • Justin: Yeah, the four danger zones you've gotta worry about. One - Exosekeleton.
  • ...
  • Justin: Armor, that's number one. Second, of course, claws. Does it look like a little crab? Do I know if scorpions have claws?
  • Travis: How are the pincers?
  • Justin: How are the pincers? Number three, obviously, pointy tail. What's in there?
  • Griffin: Who knows? Caramel?
  • Justin: Poison? And then what's the fourth one?
  • Travis: Heat coming off the genitals.
  • Griffin: How is its genital heat? Also, can you find my scorpion's genitals for me? I've been over this motherfucker's thorax with a fine-toothed comb. No genitals to be found.