odurs

Hani şu Akbank reklamı varya ikiz kardeşler olarak anlatıyor İlker Ayrık ve Kıvanç Tatlıtuğ. Bilmiyorum dikkat ettiniz mi ama orada her şeyin en iyisini bilen, aklı başında, insanlarla iyi anlaşan taraf Kıvanç Tatlıtuğ olarak lanse edilmiş. Yani daha yakışıklı olan taraf daha iyi, daha olgun ve daha zeki. İlker Ayrık ise daha uçuk kaçık davranan yer yer münasebetsiz bir karakter olarak reklamdaki yerini dolduruyor. Yani daha çirkin olan taraf daha kötü, daha çocuksu ve daha mantıksız. İşte yıllardır bize dayatmaya çalıştıkları şey de bu. Yani insanın dış görünüşü neyse içi de odur gibi göstermeye çalışıyorlar, tipi düzgün olanın karakteri de düzgündür ve daha iyidir. Bu ve bunun gibi daha pek çok reklamda, dizide veya filmde bize dayattıkları şey bu. Pakete bağımlı hale gelmemiz, içine bakma ihtiyacı duymadan bir şeyi eleştirmemize yönelik olarak kurulmuş bir sistem var ve ne yazık ki bir çoğumuz bu sistemin içindeki rutinin bir parçasıyız.
“Seni anlıyorum” demek büyük bir yalandır.
Kocaman bir yalan. Kimse kimseyi anlayamaz
ve tanıyamaz dünyada… var olan en sağlam
zırh insan vücududur. İçindekileri en iyi
saklayan kasa odur.
Part 6 - How Freya Gained Her Necklace And How Her Loved One Was Lost To Her.

(Artwork By Unripehamadryad) 


Yes, Loki went through Asgard silent and with head bent, and the Dwellers in Asgard said one unto the other, “This will teach Loki to work no more mischief.” They did not know that what Loki had done had sown the seeds of mischief and that these seeds were to sprout up and bring sorrow to the beautiful Vana Freya, to Freya whom the Giant wanted to carry off with the Sun and the Moon as payment for his building the wall around Asgard.

Freya had looked upon the wonders that Loki had brought into Asgard - the golden threads that were Sif's hair, and Frey’s boar that shed light from its bristles as it flew. The gleam of these golden things dazzled her, and made her dream in the day time and the night time of the wonders that she herself might possess. And often she thought, “What wonderful things the Three Giant Women would give me if I could bring myself to go to them on their mountaintop.”

Long ere this, when the wall around their City was not yet built, and when the Gods had set up only the court with their twelve seats and the Hall that was for Odin and the Hall that was for the Goddesses, there had come into Asgard Three Giant Women. They came after the Gods had set up a forge and had begun to work metal for their buildings. The metal they worked was pure gold. With gold they built Gladsheim, the Hall of Odin, and with gold they made all their dishes and household ware. Then was the Age of Gold, and the Gods did not grudge gold to anyone. Happy were the Gods then, and no shadow nor foreboding lay on Asgard.

But after the Three Giant Women came, the Gods began to value gold and to hoard it. They played with it no more. And the happy innocence of their first days departed from them. At last the Three were banished from Asgard. The Gods turned their thoughts from the hoarding of gold, and they built up their City, and they made themselves strong.

And now Freya, the lovely Vanir bride, thought upon the Giant Women and on the wonderful things of gold they had flashed through their hands. But not to Odur, her husband, did she speak her thoughts; for Odur, more than any of the other dwellers in Asgard, was wont to think on the days of happy innocence, before gold came to be hoarded and valued. Odur would not have Freya go
near the mountaintop where the Three had their high seat.

But Freya did not cease to think upon them and upon the things of gold they had. “Why should Odur know I went to them?” she said to herself. “No one will tell him. And what difference will it make if I go to them and gain some lovely thing for myself? I shall not love Odur the less because I go my own way for once.”

Then one day she left their palace, leaving Odur, her husband, playing with their little child Hnossa. She left the palace and went down to the Earth. There she stayed for a while, tending the flowers that were in her charge. After a while she asked the Elves to tell her where the mountain was on which the Three Giant Women stayed.The Elves were frightened and would not tell her, although she was queen over them. She left them and strolled down into the caves of the Dwarfs. It was they who showed her the way to the seat of the Giant Women, but before they showed her the way they made her feel shame and misery.

“We will show you the way if you stay with us here,” said one of the Dwarfs.

“For how long would you have me stay?” said Freya.

“Until the cocks in Svartheim crow,” said the Dwarfs, closing round her.
“We want to know what the company of one of the Vanir is like." 

"I will stay,” Freya said.

Then one of the Dwarfs reached up and put his arms round her neck and kissed her with his ugly mouth. Freya tried to break away from them, but the Dwarfs held her. “You cannot go away from us now until the cocks of Svartheim crow,” they said.


Then one and then another of the Dwarfs pressed up to her and kissed her. They made her sit down beside them on the heaps of skins they had. When she wept they screamed at her and beat her. One, when she would not kiss him on the mouth, bit her hands. So Freya stayed with the Dwarfs until the cocks of Svartheim crew.

They showed her the mountain on the top of which the Three banished from Asgard had their abode. The Giant Women sat overlooking the World of Men.

“What would you have from us, wife of Odur?” one who was called Gulveig said to her.

“Alas! Now that I have found you I know that I should ask you for nought,” Freya said.

“Speak, Vana,” said the second of the Giant Women.

The third said nothing, but she held up in her hands a necklace of gold most curiously fashioned. “How bright it is!” Freya said. “There is shadow where you sit, women, but the necklace you hold makes brightness now. Oh, how I should joy to wear it!”

“It is the necklace Brisingamen,” said the one who was called Gulveig.

“It is yours to wear, wife of Odur,” said the one who held it in her hands.

Freya took the shining necklace and clasped it round her throat. She could not bring herself to thank the Giant Women, for she saw that there was evil in their eyes. She made reverence to them, however, and she went from the mountain on which they sat overlooking the World of Men.

In a while she looked down and saw Brisingamen and her misery went from her. It was the most beautiful thing ever made by hands. None of the Asyniur and none other of the Vanir possessed a thing so beautiful. It made her more and more lovely, and Odur, she thought, would forgive her when he saw how beautiful and how happy Brisingamen made her.

She rose up from amongst the flowers and took leave of the slight Elves and she made her way into Asgard. All who greeted her looked long and with wonder upon the necklace that she wore. And into the eyes of the Goddesses there came a look of longing when they saw Brisingamen.

But Freya hardly stopped to speak to anyone. As swiftly as she could she made her way to her own palace. She would show herself to Odur and win his forgiveness. She entered her shining palace and called to him. No answer came. Her child, little Hnossa, was on the floor, playing. Her mother took her in her arms, but the child, when she looked on Brisingamen, turned away crying.

Freya left Hnossa down and searched again for Odur. He was not in any part of their palace. She went into the houses of all who dwelt in Asgard, asking for tidings of him. None knew where he had gone to. At last Freya went back to
their palace and waited and waited for Odur to return. But Odur did not come.

One came to her. It was a Goddess, Odin’s wife, Queen Frigga. “You are waiting for Odur, your husband,” Frigga said. “Ah, let me tell you Odur will not come to you here. He went, when for the sake of a shining thing you did what
would make him unhappy. Odur has gone from Asgard and no one knows where to search for him.”

“I will seek him outside of Asgard,” Freya said. She wept no more, but she took the little child Hnossa and put her in Frigga’s arms. Then she mounted her cart that was drawn by two cats, and journeyed down from Asgard to Midgard, the Earth, to search for Odur her husband.

Year in and year out, and over all the Earth, Freya went searching and calling for the lost Odur. She went as far as the bounds of the Earth, where she could look over to Jötunheim, where dwelt the Giant who would have carried her off with the Sun and the Moon as payment for the building of the wall around Asgard. But in no place, from the end of the Rainbow Bifröst, that stretched from Asgard to the Earth, to the boundary of Jötunheim, did she find a trace of her husband Odur.

At last she turned her cart toward Bifröst, the Rainbow Bridge that stretched from Midgard, the Earth, to Asgard, the Dwelling of the Gods. Hemidall, the Watcher for the Gods, guarded the Rainbow Bridge. To him Freya went with a half hope fluttering in her heart.

“O Heimdall,” she cried, “O Hemidall, Watcher for the Gods, speak and tell me if you know where Odur is.”

“Odur is in every place where the searcher has not come; Odur is in every place that the searcher has left; those who seek him will never find Odur,” said Heimdall, the Watcher for the Gods.

Then Freya stood on Bifröst and wept. Frigga, the queenly Goddess, heard the
sound of her weeping, and came out of Asgard to comfort her.

“Ah, what comfort can you give me, Frigga?” cried Freya. “What comfort can you give me when Odur will never be found by one who searches for him?”

“Behold now your daughter, the child Hnossa, has grown,” said Frigga. Freya looked up and saw a beautiful maiden standing on Bifröst, the Rainbow Bridge. She was young, more youthful than any of the Vanir or the Asyniur, and her face and her form were so lovely that all hearts became melted when they looked upon her.

And Freya was comforted in her loss. She followed Frigga across Bifröst,
the Rainbow Bridge, and came once again into the City of the Gods. In her own palace in Asgard Freya dwelt with Hnossa, her child.

Still she wore round her neck Brisingamen, the necklace that lost her Odur.
But now she wore it, not for its splendor, but as a sign of the wrong she had done. She weeps, and her tears become golden drops as they fall on the earth. And by poets who know her story she is called The Beautiful Lady in Tears.

peki siz ümit yaşar oğuzcan ve dillere destan olabilecek aytene olan aşkını biliyor  musunuz?

unutulmaz şair ümit yaşar oğuzcan, bankada çalışırken karşılaştığı güzel bir kadına tutulur. aralarında oldukça fazla yaş farkı vardır. üstelik evlidir.  hem de ikinci kez. adına ayten dediği, türküleri güzelleştiren, en tutkuyla bağlı olan, gökyüzünü güzelleştiren, saatlere zamanı yeniden öğreten o rüya gibi stajyer kızdır. zaman zaman bu gizemli sevgili ayten’in kim olduğu, şaire sorulur. yine bir şiir matinesinde, şairi üzecek cümlelerle ayten sorusu gelir. yanıtı oldukça serttir. “arkadaşım, biz yataklık olsaydık kitaplık olur muyduk hiç!”  demiştir. şiiri okuyunca, dinleyince rakıya koşanlar için bu gece ayten için bir sigara içelim;

ben bir ayten'dir tutturmuşum
oh ne iyi ayten'li içkiler içip sarhoş oluyorum ne güzel
hoşuma gitmiyorsa rengi denizlerin
biraz ayten sürüyorum güzelleşiyor

şarkılar söylüyorum, şiirler yazıyorum
ayten üstüne. 
saatim her zaman ayten'e beş var
ya da ayten'i beş geçiyor

ne yana baksam gördüğüm o
gözümü yumsam aklımdan ayten geçiyor
bana sorarsanız mevsimlerden aytendeyiz
günlerden aytenertesidir

odur gün gün beni yaşatan
onun kokusu sarmıştır sokakları
onun gözleridir şafakta gördüğüm
akşam kızıllığında onun dudakları
başka kadını övmeyin yanımda gücenirim
ayten'i övecekseniz ne ala, oturabilirsiniz
bir kadehte sizinle içeriz ayten'li İki laf ederiz
onu siz de seversiniz benim gibi ama yağma yok
ayten'i size bırakmam
alın tek kat elbisemi size vereyim
cebimde bir on liram var
onu da alın gerekirse
ben ayten'i düşünürüm, üşümem
üç kere adını tekrarlarım, karnım doyar

parasızlık da bir şey mi ölüm bile kötü değil
aytensizlik kadar
ona uğramayan gemiler batsın
ondan geçmeyen trenler devrilsin
onu sevmeyen yürek taş kesilsin
kapansın onu görmeyen gözler
onu övmeyen diller kurusun
İki kere iki dört elde var ayten
bundan böyle dünyada aşkın adı ayten olsun.

kimsesiz olmak.

kışın soğuk girmesin diye pencereye naylon, üstüne de tahtalar çakılı yarı inşaat halinde bir evde, yalnız bir adam yaşardı. yazları da o tahtaları söker, yerine çivilerle tül tutturur yazı geçirirdi öyle. tahtaları yine başka kışa kadar bir kenarda saklardı. kimse buraya bir cam taktıralım, pencere yaptıralım dememiş, demiş olsaydı zaten kimsesiz demezdim. e haliyle biz de çocuğuz. sonra yine bir kış günü gözlerini yumdu o hayata. ve o tahtaları söküp mezarına döşediler adamın. bu dünyadan her şeyini götürebilen tek adam odur benim gözümde. bazen sıcacık bir evin, duvarların, insanların içinde otururken birden hüzünlenmem tamamen bundan.

Adam kelimesinin karşılığıdır o.

Ağlamaz o, kızını gelinlikle görene kadar. Toktur çocukları doyana kadar. Onlar doyduğunda da en çok o yer. Çünkü en çok o çalışır en çok enerjiyi o harcar. Kötü roller de hep ona aittir. Yaramazlık yaptığımızda kızmak da onun görevidir. 

“Bey şu oğluna/kızına bir şey söyle!”

Ama asla kendi egosu için kızmaz. Biz daha iyi olalım diye. Bizi korumak için. Damadını sevmez ona güvenene kadar. Her erkek kız babasına kanıtlamak zorundadır, kızına onun kadar iyi bakabileceğini kanıtlamak için. Serttir kaya kadar ama dışarıdan. Siz sımsıkı sarılsanız da o hep utangaçtır. Yüreğiyle sarılır sana, göremezsin ama bilirsin. Centilmenliği de değişiktir. Çiçek almaz belki lakin cebinde küçük kızına/oğluna hep çikolatası vardır. Kendi cebinde parası olmasa da senin cebine koyacak parası vardır her zaman. Gördüğünüz ilk ve en güçlü insan da odur. O Süpermendir, O beyaz atlı prenstir. Dağları bile kaldırabilir sizin için. “Seni babama söylerim.” ve “Benim babam senin babanı döver.” kalıplaşmış sözleri de buradan gelir. O kim mi?

O adam benim Babam.


– Fatih Alıç - İçimdeki İnsanlar (Baba)

Öldükten sonra önemli olacak olan neyse, şuanda da önemli olan odur.

“Ve tedhakûne ve lâ tebkûn”
“Ağlayacağınız yere gülüyorsunuz ! ” (Necm/60)

Biri vardır ama yoktur bir yandan da. Birini hem herkesten çok seversin hemde en nefret ettiğin kişi odur. Biri tüm hislerindir işte bazen. Bazen de tüm hissizliğin.