ocean theme tattoo

the signs as things my mother has done while on ambien
  • aries: rapped/slurred a choral song about hanukkah
  • taurus: snuck into my room at night, stole a bag of pistachios, ate half, then fell asleep on the floor
  • gemini: accidentally sang happy birthday to herself on my birthday
  • cancer: bought $70 worth of online storytelling lessons
  • leo: laughed until she cried at "cornfused"
  • virgo: lectured me about leaving food unwrapped in the fridge, then promptly forgot and gave me the same lecture again, word for word
  • libra: sent me a dj khaled motivational speech video
  • scorpio: went in for a high five and punched me in the head
  • sagittarius: refused to believe i wasn't hiding chocolate when i made her a mug brownie using hot cocoa mix
  • capricon: held that same mug brownie to her chest and glared at me when i said "i love you"
  • aquarius: asked on Facebook, for no apparent reason, where to get a full color ocean themed half sleeve tattoo.
  • pisces: yelled, "but i'm his grandfish!" when i wouldn't get out of bed to show her my fish on skype