ocean puns

5

I’ve just whipped up a batch of silly sea-inspired valentines (with even sillier punny messages), now up for digital download on my Etsy (https://www.etsy.com/ca/listing/497927532/sea-i-love-you).

The file is set up so it prints easily on an 8.5″ x 11″ sheet of paper and only needs a few quick cuts to trim them into a sweet little pile of happy oceanic thoughts!

anonymous asked:

I have an idea for mermay! How about a seal or otter based one? I'd love to see your take on that!

hope this has your seal of approval

how the fight actually went
  • roan: so
  • luna:
  • roan: do you need KELP?
  • luna: you've got to be kidding me
  • roan: i don't sea the problem
  • octavia: roan pls
  • roan: somehow this feels a little fishy
  • luna: i'm going to murder you
  • luna: literally
  • roan: water you talking about
  • octavia: ROAN
  • roan: i'm sure you wouldn't kill me on...porpoise
  • luna, drowning him: time to wave goodbye bitch
6

Episode 036 - Drained

Life is beautiful, but also so crazy it makes me want to faceplant into some sand.

Long time no update! Life *has* been super crazy - planning a wedding is no joke. If it is, it’s not a very funny one. So the wedding is over, but this coming month will be busy as well (honeymoon + other things), but I’ll make some time for Ascent as always. Hopefully the next episode will be up in a couple weeks or so. We shall sea.

#oceanpun

i fish you would not
  • Percy: i don't get this plan please be more pacific
  • Annabeth: percy wh-
  • Percy: sounds like youre a bit tongue-tide
  • Annabeth: percy dont
  • Percy: i honestly dont know water you talking about
  • Grover: is he making sea puns again
  • Annabeth: yes make him stop
  • Percy: are you squidding me? i'm not even doing anything
  • Percy: guys
  • Percy: fin! i'll stop
  • Percy: guys for gods' lakes
  • Percy: don't leave me here alone
  • Percy: guys
Pulling off a heist in D&D 5E

Our most recent session saw us plotting a heist on board the casino boat The Golden Goose.  The casino owner, Lord Drylund, had information we wanted and we needed to get to him.  Our GM gave us a week to scheme and plan and three actions each to perform to prep for our heist. And we did!

With a few lucky rolls (plus one not lucky one) and Plans A, B, & C in place, we began. Our halfling bard was performing on stage, our dragonborn got a job in the kitchen, our elven monk had joined the rowers down below (and was chained to the wall after having sabotaged the boat roof for a contingency plan), and our human thief and myself (a human wizard) boarded as wealthy passengers. 

Plan A: the dragonborn slips our truth serum in Lord Drylund’s food, giving the thief and me a one-hour window to get to his cabin on the top level and talk to him.  The cabin is off of a hallway, guarded from the dance hall by two guards. There’s also a wizard woman who is the head of security and keeps order on the casino floor on the main deck. We manage to avoid rousing suspicion from her or the small group of city watchmen who decided to show up to gamble too. And our monk is trying to win over the other slave rowers with a sing-a-long and jokes.

Plan A starts just fine. We get past an unexpected encounter with a former acquaintance of our thief, who has glasses made from a Gem of Seeing and so knows who he really is and almost blows our cover, but buys his silence with an Amulet of Nondetection.  Our thief almost persuades the guards to let us through to see Lord Drylund with our fake documents. But they refer us to the bouncer/wizard, who isn’t completely convinced and asks us to try again in a few hours. 

Well, balls. Time to change plans.

Plan B: we go loud. I cast Fog Cloud at 4th level and obscure the entire boat right as we happen to be going through a rough patch of the river called “the chucks,” plunging everyone into chaos. I then cast Invisibility and Nondetection on the thief, since we know of the Alarm spell beyond the door. Our thief applies our sleeping potion to the guards by the door, I use Dispel Magic to bypass the Arcane Lock and then he picks it record time (gotta love a natural 20!).  We also steal a Staff of Power from a rich young idiot in the confusion because we can. Additionally, our thief pickpockets the Gem of Seeing and puts the glasses on. 

The ship hits a large rock in the chucks and a hole is ripped in the lower level of the boat.

Our dragonborn starts making her way out of the kitchen and trying to feel her way to the rest of us upstairs. And our monk has secured the help of one older lady and through some impressive acrobatics he manages to get through the hole in the hull, climb the side of the boat, set her on the roof, jump back down two levels to retrieve his gear, and then start berating the half-orc slave drivers about the wrongs of slavery.  (I’m really not sure what his intentions were there.) 

The three of us on the upper level get into the hallway. Our thief discovers the door to Lord Drylund’s cabin is a mimic because of his glasses, so he and our halfling start fighting it.  I cast my own Arcane Lock on the door to slow down pursuit, as well as Grease at the opposite ends of the hall near the ship’s bridge, before joining the fight. Our dragonborn stumbles across guards on the main level and just incinerates them with Hellish Rebuke—but now the boat’s on fire and slowly sinking.

We get through the door, find Lord Drylund with a bejewelled sword, and he attacks us… by throwing an octopus from his fishtank at our halfling.  We start interrogating him and he tells us everything we want to know before being telepathically killed by a kraken.  (I was caught off guard by this too.)  We loot the room and then escape through the roof where our monk had weakened it. 

We meet up with the older lady on the roof, get to a lifeboat, manage to get all of our party on this thing and start trying to make our escape as the wizard bouncer lady throws an angry fireball at us before dousing The Golden Goose in frost spells to put out the flames and seal the hole.  As we limp away in our stolen lifeboat and our thief carves the name Ocean’s Elven into its side (because it’s a genius name), my wizard lights his pipe, regards the charred casino boat, and comments: 

“Looks like their Goose just got cooked.” 

(From the bottom of the lifeboat, our monk screamed “YYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”) 

And there were facepalms all around. 

Best. Heist. Ever.