ocdy

Confession

BFRB/OCD

I’m fairly content with the way my body looks. Except the hair on my head. Why can’t be long like my sister’s or mom’s or other BW I see on this website? It hurts to see posts like “if her ponytail’s [insert length] then…” I feel like they’re aimed right at me. To top that, my hair is so hard to style because I’ve been struggling with this mental illness called dermatillomania. It is a BFRB (Body Focused Repetitive Behaviors) and is classified as an OCD. It is the act of picking the skin repeatedly. It is triggered by stress and anxiety. I’ve had it for 6 years now and it’s been really tough. There’s some nights where I constantly pick at my scalp for more than 20 minutes. When I feel pressured during a test, I pick. I use other parts of my hair to hide the scars. I don’t allow other people but my mother to touch my hair bc of it. I grow extremely self conscious and irritated when anyone touches it. I honestly feel so much shame for picking. But its so hard to stop. It is no where near self-harm but it does cause harm. Not a soul close to me knows this. This disease needs more awareness but there’s a limited about of professionals who work with this illness. Whoever is struggling with this, I want you to know you’re not alone.