youtube

NEW DEMO VIDEO Fulltone OCD Obsessive Compulsive Drive

You are not “unnatural” or “bad” if you 

  • Have low to no empathy
  • Have hyper-empathy 
  • Have a personality disorder
  • Have more than one person in your mind
  • Have scary/violent thoughts
  • Don’t have the energy for interaction every day
  • Can’t take a shower/brush your teeth very often
  • Don’t like certain noises/textures
  • Don’t want to forgive them
  • Know you did nothing wrong
  • Love yourself 

honestly, shout out to those who’re balancing mental illness and school. i know it’s hard. i know it’s stressful. i know it’s overwhelming. i know it seems like no one understands, especially when they call you “lazy” or “dumb,” but i am so, so, so proud of you for making it this far. go at your own pace. everything’ll be ok!

Mental Illness in the Horror Genre

Something that pissed me off the other day.

Talking to a guy who knows my parents but doesn’t know me very well, and he tells me that his friend (indeed, a very nice and talented actor) recently put out a horror movie. And I’m interested until I hear the words “So it’s about this guy with OCD…” and at that point my mom and I give each other a sidelong glance.

I say, “I don’t know, because I have OCD and it’s a pretty serious thing for me.”

To which he follows up, “Oh, you don’t have it like this guy! You’re totally functional!”

Okay, dude. Yes, I am standing before you in a fancy club, dressed nice, and looking relatively balanced. But you do not know me. You do not know OCD.

You do not know that I have been non-functional, and that in order to maintain my current balance of sanity, I take daily medication and see a weekly therapist, and I still have downward spirals and panic attacks.

OCD can add to a story, for sure. The Aviator is a great example–albeit, it was on the voyeuristic side, kind of “check out what a weirdo this guy really is”, but his condition was portrayed in a realistic and *sympathetic* manner, because it focused so hard on his anxiety and entrapment.

I don’t need a horror movie about my disorder for a couple reasons.
1. I already live the horror movie that is OCD.
2. Just like people with psychosis, schizophrenia/schizotypal disorders, dissociative identity disorders, and any other number of mental disorder that makes us act in unusual and yes, sometimes frightening ways, I don’t need it to be the hinge for your horror flick, a handy device that makes more people like you scared and misunderstanding of people like me.
3. And for people with the above disorders who may not be diagnosed, they don’t need to be told that they are dangerous monsters and cause them to avoid treatment out of fear. (This goes double for people who experience paranoia or delusions as part of their symptoms.)

This post ended up way longer than I meant, but really, truly, hear me out creators:

MENTAL ILLNESS IS A TRAIT AMONG AN INFINITE VARIETY OF PEOPLE. IT IS NOT A CHARACTER FLAW, AND IT IS DEFINITELY A POOR PLOT DEVICE FOR THE HORROR GENRE. YOU CAN DO BETTER.

PSA

i’ve been seeing this post a lot lately:

which means a whole lot of you don’t know the difference between an intrusive thought and an impulsive thought.

intrusive thoughts are a symptom of ocd and many other disorder, they are upsetting and often graphic, they are thoughts you do not want and that scare you, commonly thoughts about doing something violent or about abuse. i suffer from intrusive thoughts, they are triggering and upsetting and yes, dark or about killing people.

an impulse can also be a symptom of a disorder, impulses are not inherently bad and are just your brain telling you to do things with no thought as to why. some can be unpleasant, but they can also be things like “cut all your hair off” or “eat the cardboard”.

please stop saying that intrusive thoughts and impulses are the same thing, you are only adding to the stigma and misunderstanding people with intrusive thoughts face.

thank you.

shout out to people who have really morally wrong intrusive thoughts! people who know those things are wrong and can’t stop thinking about them, people who are disgusted by themselves. you aren’t disgusting! those thoughts aren’t you and you can’t control them! it’s ok, you’re a good person.