Occupation: Entertainer (Solo magician & a Singer)
Personality: (her personality in this AU is completely different than the original ones, cuz she’s a B*tch) Independent, confident,may be a sassy gal at times, joyful, kind,she doesn’t like guys who flirt with women or with her (told ya different with se original), she loves to show magic tricks to kids, she always call kids “dearie” or “sweetie”.
Before you start: I’d like to apologize for the terrible quality in a few of these screenshots. A few of the older/less successful movies are impossible to find in HD. With that, let’s get started! I hope you find something cool!
Sword of the Stranger (Stranja Mukōhadan, 2007)
It’s easy to forget what a good action movie looks like, and even easier to forget that there used to be action movies with actual grit, where the characters aren’t too clever to be fooled or hurt. Sword of the Stranger is both a good action movie and is absolutely caked in grit.
You won’t find many technical innovations in this Sword of the Stranger, and though the styling is beautiful in an austere way it’s definitely not a piece of glittering eye candy. That said, you will immediately be absorbed by its interesting characters and engrossing plot. It’s a testament to the power of good character development and satisfying plot progression/resolution, traits that animated movies often stumble over.
A young boy living among monks escapes as his home monastery is burned to the ground. Pursued by a band of elite Chinese warriors with mysterious motives, the boy runs across a disgraced samurai and strikes a deal for protection.
The Painting (Le Tableau, 2011)
(This movie is currently available on Netflix US!)
Part of the reason many 3D animated movies are terrible is their sheer banality. Too many of them are about small animals doing something silly for poorly-established reasons (coughDREAMWORKScough). That’s why it’s so incredibly refreshing when a small studio goes for novelty, and turns their creativity towards describing a fascinating premise.
The Painting is an undeniably gorgeous movie, where CGI is turned towards emulating different styles of paintings in really successful and interesting ways.
An unfinished painting sits, abandoned, in an artist’s tiny cabin. Inside the painting the figures have created a stratified culture made up of Alldunns, Halfies, and Scribbles. The only thing that sustains the Halfies and the Scribbles is the idea that their creator might return to complete the painting, but hope is fading fast. With mounting oppression from the Alldunns a Halfie, a Scribble, and a sympathetic Alldunn set out to find their creator, to ask him to finish their painting.
The Story of Mr. Sorry (Je-bool-chal-ssi I-ya-gi, 2008)
(This movie is currently available on Netflix US!)
Korea’s animation industry is weird. There’s a huge talent pool that regularly produces amazing work, but almost all of it is in the service of American TV shows. Stuff like Young Justice and Legend of Korra are largely designed and animated in South Korea. There’s very little by-and-for Korean animation available, and what is available is often indie (which means that giant talent pool usually isn’t involved).
The Story of Mr. Sorry is one of those indie movies. A dark fantasy animated with cut-out drawings (which, if anything, are vaguely reminiscent of Monty Python, no anime-styling here). The movie is cerebral, sometimes very literally. In tone and substance it’s a bit like Being John Malkovich, kind of quirky, depressive, and willfully weird.
A timid young man is shrunk to the size of a spider and works as an ear-cleaner. While cleaning ears he discovers that he can delve into peoples’ subconscious.
Heavy Metal (1981)
I love this ridiculous movie. Here’s what you need to know: Heavy Metal was produced by the publishers of Heavy Metal magazine, a British sci-fi/fantasy comics magazine started in the 70s that still runs today. Heavy Metal magazine publishes an extremely specific form of fantasy comic, which is a bit hard to describe. Imagine if Conan the Barbarian fought cyber-goblins in the old west.
The first thing you’ll notice is that there’s almost nothing good about this movie. Choppy animation, horrible voice acting, bad action, bad storytelling. Critical fails all around. The second thing you’ll notice is that it’s so completely, wonderfully ridiculous that you have to keep watching. There’s also an inexplicably good soundtrack with cuts from Black Sabbath, Devo, Grand Funk Railroad, Blue Oyster Cult, and many more. All of this has made Heavy Metal kind of an animated version of The Rocky Horror Picture Show. The film has always had a cult following, but it really found its audience once it started being used at midnight movie screenings, with people acting along to the ridiculously juvenile stories.
I’m not even going to try to describe the story here. There’s an orb that invades a house for some reason, then a lady who rides a flying horse-thing has to fight a cyborg, then a nerd turns into a body builder so he can beat up horny orcs… It’s just great.
Waltz with Bashir (Vals Im Bashir, 2008)
This is an incredible, sobering movie, and an impressive re-entry into feature-length animation for Israel. The style is impeccable, looking exactly like someone brought an inky, moody comic book to life, in spite of frequent photographic & 3D-rendered backgrounds & effects. Equally-impressive is that not one frame of the movie was rotoscoped, even though you’d swear it was given the incredibly natural movement of the characters.
It’s also a documentary.
Filmmaker Ari Folman meets an old friend for a drink. While catching up his friend relates an disturbing, war-related dream to Ari, which in turn makes Ari realize that he has blanked out his entire time as an Israeli soldier during the 1982 Lebanon war. Later that night Ari has an inexplicable dream regarding his time in Beirut. Unsettled, Ari begins talking to friends, members of his old combat unit, war journalists, and psychiatrists in an attempt to understand the dream, which seems to be related to the gruesome Sabra and Shatila massacre.
Roujin Z (Rōjin Zetto, 1991)
The early-90s were an odd time for anime, sort of a lull between the giant anime boom of the late 80s and its resurgence via licensed manga properties in the late-90s. It’s always fun to see what an entertainment industry does when the public stopped paying attention. Usually because lots of really innovative and strange ideas manage to seep through the studio filters in that situation. That was definitely the case with Roujin Z, which is somehow an action-comedy about a bedridden old man. Smart and darkly-funny, Roujin Z plays out like the most satisfying kind of satire.
In the near-future the Ministry of Public Welfare unveils its new innovation in senior-care: a robotic, artificially-intelligent hospital bed that can bathe, clothe, feed, and entertain its occupant. However, not everything about the bed is as it seems, and when it goes haywire it sets off a mad-dash between government agencies to contain the situation.
Fierro (sometimes Martín Fierro, 2007)
Based on a pair of epic poems by Argentinian writer José Hernández, the story of Martín Fierro is considered an indispensable touchstone for Argentinian national identity.
The titular (and fictitious) Martín Fierro is a poor goucho, an everyman who is unjustly conscripted by a Spanish governor to defend a frontier outpost against native attacks. Fierro’s fearsome sense of independence and open rebellion against his Spanish commanding officers made him an instant folk hero in 1890s Argentina.
That sense of national pride really comes through in this production, with a lot of gorgeous background paintings and a really lovingly-crafted score giving the movie a suitably epic, sweeping feel. That said, there are a few problems. Fierro’s simplistic character designs and oddly-placed comedic bits give the movie tonal problems, which the dramatic soundtrack can sometimes exacerbate. It’s sometimes unclear if Fierro wants to be a grand saga or a silly spaghetti western.
Aya of Yop City (Aya de Yopougon, 2012)
Aya of Yop City depicts a version of Africa that is almost never seen in the west: A peaceful, rapidly-modernizing society with an emerging middle class. It’s based on a series of graphic novels by Marguerite Abouet, who in turn based the series on her own experiences growing up in 1970s Côte d’Ivoire.
This is apparently Abouet’s directorial debut, and right off the bat it is an amazing piece of visual storytelling. I actually wasn’t able to find a subtitle of this movie, but the art direction is so spot-on that I managed to glean most of the movie off of character interactions & tone.
Though the figure-movement can be a bit stiff, everything else about Aya absolutely pops. The character designs are simple but immediately charming, the backgrounds are lovingly rendered for every scene, the score is infectious, and the movie never once feels slow or boring. If this is Abouet’s debut then she’s clearly a fierce talent.
Told from the perspective of Aya, a young adult in the middle-class neighborhood of Yop City, the story follows the travails of Aya’s neighbors. Adjoua, one of Aya’s closest friends, has just discovered she’s pregnant. The father seems to be Moussa, the only son of one of the richest families in Côte d’Ivoire, and he and Adjoua are quickly married. However, when the baby is born Moussa’s domineering father starts doubting the parentage. Meanwhile Aya’s other friend, Bintou, has started dating a rich Parisian man who isn’t what he seems.
The Thief and the Cobbler (1993)
The Thief and the Cobbler can be viewed as the ultimate cautionary tale for animators. It stands as testament to the fact that no matter how great the creator’s pedigree, how beautiful the film, or how many amazing actors are on board, no film is safe from studio meddling.
It had a notoriously long and troubled production time, starting in 1964 and not seeing the light of day until 1993, having passed through several major production studios and ending up at a cut-rate production bond company. What was intended to be the masterpiece of veteran animator Richard Williams was drastically and haphazardly recut into a direct-to-video yawn. And it’s really our loss, the original animation in The Thief and the Cobbler is absolutely peerless. The amount of beautiful fluidity, or amazingly genuine idiosyncrasies in movement ascribed to drawings still hasn’t been equalled by a major studio.
Thankfully, TTatC got a second life in the animation underground. For years a workprint copy of the movie was circulated by animation fans, and to this day you can still find recuts of the movie on the internet, each one claiming to be closer to Williams’ original intent than the last. The best-known of these recuts is probably Garrett Gilchrist’s “The Recobbled Cut”, released in 2006. Seek it out, it is worth the effort.
The story: The Golden City is an arabesque paradise, ruled by the good King Nod. An ancient prophecy foretells that the city is guarded by three golden balls on its highest spire, and if those balls are ever removed the city will fall to warlike race of one-eyed creatures. If this should ever come to pass the city’s only hope is, “the simplest of souls with the smallest of things.” Meanwhile city-life is moving along predictably for the young cobbler Tack, until a chance encounter with a thief puts him in the clutches of the city’s scheming Vizier, Zigzag, while the thief absconds with the three golden balls.
The Triplets of Belleville (Les Triplettes de Belleville, 2003)
As the first French animated feature to make a splash overseas, The Triplets of Belleville has become many peoples’ gateway to Francophone animation. And no wonder, it’s a wonderful example of the power of visual storytelling, relying almost entirely on pantomime to communicate its story.
The first feature-length film of Sylvain Chomet (who you might recognize as the director of The Illusionist, another wonderful animated movie), TToB blew everyone away when it first debuted. Somehow it manages to be moody and light, silly and touching, & downtrodden but upbeat all at once. Moreover, in spite of its novel story and ample world-building, it moves along at a very brisk, immensely satisfying pace. You never once catch yourself counting the minutes, wishing the story would move along. That’s an accomplishment in a medium that often inspires self-indulgence.
Madame Souza has trained her grandson, Champion, for years to compete in the Tour de France. However, in the last leg of the race Champion is kidnapped. It’s up to Souza and her chubby dog Bruno to save him. Things look grim as the two follow Champion’s trail to the overstuffed city of Belleville, but a chance encounter with three aging music hall singers may provide the help they need.
Because work is driving me mad today, I hammered this quickie out.
Rated T for innuendo. Just a little CS one-shot, Captain/Wench. Hope you enjoy!
“Take a swig, Love, it’ll calm your nerves,” the older
gentleman behind the bar chuckled, sliding a small pewter tankard towards her.
Emma glanced up from her hands, at which she had been
picking nervously, and grasped the tankard. “Thank you,” she muttered, bringing
the cool metal to her lips.
“First night on the job, eh?” the man asked again, wiping
down the bar. “I ain’t never seen you in here before.”
Nodding quickly, Emma swallowed the harsh liquor and
cringed. She took in a deep breath. “Well, a girl’s got to make a living
The doors to the tavern flew open and a rowdy lot entered
the room. Pirates. She recognized them immediately, from their salty, musty
smell. When she had sold linens in the marketplace on Coldwell Isle, Emma had
encountered her fair share of them. She had even chased down a cabin boy for
sneaking away with a silk scarf.
With a clink of glass, the barkeep refilled Emma’s mug. He
nodded towards the group. “Seems like you hit the jackpot. Pirates like them
boys go long time without seein’ something as pretty as you. Sure they’ll pay
top dollar for a night.”
Scowling, Emma shook her head. “I don’t want to spend my
first night with some dirty pirate,” she replied before downing the second swig
“Dirty pirate?” A voice, smooth as butter, asked over Emma’s
shoulder. She turned to face a smirking pirate, dressed in a black chemise and
red vest. “Well now, have you much experience with pirates, Lass?”
Emma’s jaw dropped slightly. She closed her mouth quickly
but found herself unable to form words. After a moment, she swallowed hard and
took in a deep breath of confidence. “Not particularly, sir, I have not.”
The man smirked, his dark brown beard curling around his
features. There was a hint of ginger hidden amongst the dark forest on his
chin. He sat next to the wench and tapped the bar top. The bartender lifted an
eyebrow towards Emma before pouring a drink for the pirate.
“Captain Killian Jones, Milady,” the pirate offered, holding
out his hand. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to take a moment or two to try and
change your mind about the seafaring gentlemen you believe to be so filthy.”
This took me a little while to write after being a little too inspired after a Magic Mike XXL movie night. Why the hell not? I don’t see any other good crossover about assassins as strippers. Inspired by Magic Mike XXL and [link]. Hope you enjoy!
Some nice visuals since they are heavily referenced. [X] [X] [X]
Nancy , your occupation is profissional entertainment , right? i'd like to know more.
“Professional Entertainment? I think ya mean Olivia but lemme explain a bit, Hun! She was trained to be as fun and entertaining as she can be! But how she was in the Adult cartoons, Her main purpose was to entertain under the sheets and she does still does it! She prefers to use her lovely voice now. Most of the entertainment is usually sexual acts but with her, She can really make ya shed a few tears with very funny joke!”
Let’s talk Cole. Entertainment is seen as a pinnacle profession. Everyone wants in, and it’s preached as the most ideal lifestyle in the western world. An entertainment occupation is one of the only kind capable of bringing a family from the lowest to the highest class of society within a single generation. Promoted to bring financial success, social success, sexual success, what else could a citizen desire? Let’s not forget, like social media (you being in control of your own public image), the entertainment industry is in control of public opinion, and so reinforces itself by claiming its own elite status. This self promotion come across as unending coverage of media figures, their lifestyles, their wealth, and their sexual pursuits.
Repeated exposure of the rich and successful leads to idolization, and idolization of entertainment employees helps to create more. This helps the industry survive.
Monumental success in the entertainment industry is Incredibly rare. And the system balances itself out with low success rates and plenty of able bodied and willing participants looking to fill available positions.
But you don’t see this, you won’t see the struggle. All we’ll see are the success stories, and anyone trying to step away from the industry are vilified (my brother and I going to college). Any other profession taken is seen as a step backwards, any other lifestyle chosen is seen as a mistake. When you’re in, you’re in for life, and oftentimes the feeling of necessary and constant success and relevance is enough to drive young entertainers insane.
Dehumanization in the form of paparazzi and public critique is seen as “an expected part of the business,” and so those who speak against it are often laughed into submission.
Know how your industry operates, and you gain a tremendous amount of agency within it. Let’s be smart about this from now on Cole.
how do you find excitement in life, i'm like 20 but i feel like my soul is super old and bitter
To be honest, Anon, I don’t think being old or bitter precludes excitement. I am The Oldest, I was born old, and yet I find joy in plenty of things, like grumbling about the state of the world, shaking my cane, etc.
I’m only partially kidding. I think part of it is that despite having been diagnosed with clinical depression when I was seventeen, I am a naturally cheerful person – I think the world’s a bit absurd and finding the absurdity in it is always entertaining to me. A friend of mine in college described my vocal tone as constantly implying that I wasn’t afraid to laugh what a joke the entire world was. I think it was a very nice compliment, and pleasantly ignored the fact that I am ALSO constantly restraining myself from punching the entire world in the face for not making more sense. The two sentiments can coexist in me, if not peaceably.
I’ve been trying to articulate how I go about finding excitement in life and interestingly, every time I try it comes back to comedy instead. So let’s try it this way: let’s ask some questions. (Oh dear, homework from Dad.)
Why are you in search of excitement? As opposed to say, occupation, entertainment, or inspiration. What is it about excitement – what does excitement mean to you, and why is it the thing you desire? I’m not questioning your desires because I think they’re not valid but because finding what you want doesn’t start with the quest itself – it starts with identifying what you want, and why.
And why do you think age and bitterness precludes excitement? How are you defining “old”, and why is that an impediment? Is it that you feel as though you’ve seen everything, and therefore nothing is new? Again, this isn’t to judge – these are genuine questions, the answers to which will help you identify the problems before you.
And actually asking these questions helps me to work out what may help you – because even if you have seen everything, there’s always a headtilt ahead of you.
Most of the artistic heroes of my life were people who took the ordinary and shifted it. Picasso drew faces from three angles at once. George Bernard Shaw wrote an entire play advocating for Satanism at the height of Victorian morality, using Puritans as his mouthpieces. Magritte, one of the finest surrealist artists in history, lived an aggressively normal, bourgeois life while he painted some wild shit that artists and critics still grapple with. (To remind me of the absurdity of carrying my existence around with me in a little black box whose central purpose, telephoning people, I no longer use, my phone case has a picture of an antique telephone on it captioned “Ceci n’est pas un phone”. I get especially delighted when people try to tell me that “phone” isn’t proper French, because that’s the least weird thing about it.)
My point is that the ordinary only remains ordinary so long as you keep looking at it face-on. If you tilt your head, or better yet tilt the world a little, everything becomes new – and often, the newness of a thing, the chance to explore and share its newness, is what excites us.
The headtilt is a learned skill – it takes time to learn it and to practice it, to look at an object or a concept or a law and ask, how do I tilt this? What other side can I take in this argument and what does that teach me? How do I alter this to make something new? What is the most familiar aspect of this, and what would happen if that aspect were altered somehow?
Fortunately, the things that are good practice for this are also a lot of fun to do. Fanfic by its very nature is a headtilt at canon – what scene did we miss? What would happen if everyone owned a food truck? How would this character acquire a child? What expertise can I bring to this story? Art is a constant remix of both reality and other arts; I once explained to a friend that the surrealist painting of a bridge implies the bridge because of the specific aspects of “bridginess” in it (arches, cables, columns) and that made me think way harder about both bridges and surrealists than I had in some time.
ANYWAY, being an angry old bitter crank is no bar to the headtilt. In fact, it means you have a specific and unusual point of view that you can use to tilt the world around you. What about any given thing makes you feel bitter? What would you change? What would make something EVEN WORSE? Embrace your boredom – what specifically about the thing bores you?
You have a young and elastic mind – you’re about the age I was when I started consciously headtilting (a lot of my unconscious headtilts in high school were severely punished, which is not uncommon) so you’re in a good position to start. Anything ordinary, anything accepted, anything that is “common sense” can be taken apart and reassembled into something new – and it’s your job to bitterly, crankily do it.
And when you start doing this, you start to notice that other people do it too, that they have unique experiences and viewpoints and thoughts that you’ve never encountered before, which is exciting too, especially when you get to share yours with them and see their reactions.
Once upon a time I got mad that Harry Potter didn’t get to grow up with someone who loved him, and I got really mad that his creator was visibly, piece by piece, removing what little support structure he had. So I wrote a story where he got a loving home with two dads and the chance to build a network of friends throughout his school who would trust and love him, and to explore how that would change his narrative as a child destined to save the world.
And it made me famous.
I exaggerate a little for effect, but the reason I have twelve thousand followers now is that once I remixed a Young Adult novel series and it drew enough attention to start an avalanche. I didn’t know that would happen. I was just fucking around. But my headtilt spoke to people and they all headtilted back and here I am.
So I suggest, the next time something seems so jaw-clenchingly ordinary and usual that you just can’t stand it, tilt your head a bit and ask yourself, how can I make this exciting?
And if that doesn’t work, well, you could try making cookies. That always turns out excitingly for me, and if it doesn’t for you, at least then you have cookies.
Why do writers have to break into the comic business? Why can't it be like ever other job. You submit an application of whether you have the skills or not and then the interview. What makes the comicbook industry so special that people have to be picked by the big two to get to write for them. Wouldn't it be more practical and profitable to find experienced and educated people (this is not a knock on you but more on the writers that never held a degree) to writer comics for the big two?
It’s a good question. It’s not just comics… it’s almost any form of entertainment occupation. movies, music, television…
education never hurt anybody but all people who write the checks care about is how good the finished product is. nobody ever asked me for my diploma. they read my comics and decided that I should make comics for them.
the nonstop 10 years I spent making independent comics was my job application. and whatever my last script that I handed in was is the job application for my next job.
I know it’s frustrating, but anything worth having is, there is no right or wrong way to make these dreams come true but if you are not working towards your goal every day it’s not going to happen