1.) Watch me unhinge my jaw and swallow thousands of perogies at once without breaking eye contact.
2.) Systematically replace your blood with water from one of our three rivers to gain one of our three patented, superhuman Pittsburgh Abilities. (Allegheny = Superbowl Champion, Monongahela = The Midas Touch but Heinz ketchup instead of gold, Ohio = advantage on Dexterity saving throws, but not, like, an IRL equivalent or something, literally just for D&D)
3.) Donate your body to Primanti Brother’s to be used as chipped ham.
4.) Puncture one of the Silver Clouds at the Warhol Museum and breathe deep of its helium to learn of dark and enigmatic prophecies.
5.) Escape this cruel reality. People will tell you that our city has a lot of “potholes”. This is a misunderstanding. Pittsburgh accents are tricky, and what we’re actually saying is “portals”. Though impossible to accurately discern where they may lead you, locals say that you can get clues by reading their jagged, asphalt edges like tea leaves.
6.) Get lost in our horrible labyrinth of streets and sports arenas. If you manage to make it to the end, you’ll find Sidney Crosby, Fushigi-ing two crystal hockey pucks in tight, tight pants.
7.) Encase your body in steel like a low-budget Han Solo.
8.) Try to have a normal conversation with someone’s super racist dad.
Rangoli is an initiative formed under ASAP (Alliance for South Asians in Pittsburgh) to address the needs of LGBTQ+ South Asians in the region. Rangoli’s Spring 2018 publication, Mirrors: An LGBTQ+ South Asian Anthology, was born out of our efforts to connect LGTBQ+ South Asians and be a foundation for our emerging community. This anthology is an outlet for self-expression that will mirror our identities and reflect our experiences.
While we are especially interested in hearing from individuals who have some connection to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, we will accept submissions from anyone who identifies as an LGBTQ+ South Asian. If you are interested in submitting a piece, please submit here: firstname.lastname@example.org
The deadline to submit November 15, 2017. Everyone who submits will receive a response from us by November 22, 2017.