obviously married

cherryslushy  asked:

i'd marry heather penne but she obviously will never marry anyone but Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ

she’s married to jesus but also every other god bc they all love her and shes too nice to choose.

2

This animal tastes frightened.

Don’t Give Them Ideas

Anakin’s Force Ghost: [laying across Obi-Wan’s lap in a hammock] Man, this is the life. 
Obi-Wan: You know, I wish things could have been different, but knowing that we saved the universe and that Luke is out there, teaching new Jedi…I just feel like finally everything’s going to be all right.
Anakin: [sighs, reaching up and feeding him a grape] Yeah.
Luke: [disheveled and winded, wandering over through the trees, twigs and pine needles caught in his beard] Guys…? Dad? Ben? Where are you?
Obi-Wan: [cheerfully] Luke! It feels like it’s been years.
Luke: [peeved] It has been years. And I’ve been trying to find you two for weeks now! 
Anakin: We are retired, you know. [mouth full of food] And you’re doing a bang-up job, son, really. You don’t need us anymore. [fussing over Obi-Wan] Look at him. He deserves to rest. [pets his hair]
Obi-Wan: [blushing furiously] Really now, I –
Luke: [scowling, rubbing his eyes] Oh for kriff’s…don’t you want to know WHY I’ve been trying to find you? Or where your grandson is and why he’s not WITH ME?
Anakin: Which grandson?
Luke: YOU ONLY HAVE ONE GRANDSON, DAD.
Anakin: Oh. Right. OK, where is the little scamp?
Luke: [dusting himself off] He’s a grown man, dad. And it turns out you guys have a lot in common.
Obi-Wan: He got drugged by pirates?
Luke: What? No –
Anakin: Knocked up a Senator?
Luke: No, he –
Obi-Wan: Ate two jars of expired cocktail onions on a dare?
Anakin: Hey, Rex and Cody gave me 50 credits for that!
Obi-Wan: Yes, and I had to sit with you while you threw them up  –
Luke: [exasperated] GUYS.
Anakin: Well, what then?
Luke: I’m afraid…I’m afraid Ben has turned to the Dark Side. 
[long pause]
Obi-Wan: Luke, this isn’t funny. 
Anakin: Dark Side? No, no, no. You must be confused. We crushed that, remember son? With the lightning and the Death Star and my redemption…?
Luke: Well, they have a new flavor of Darksider now. Evidently. 
Anakin: [scowls, sitting up] …these fucking writers. 
Obi-Wan: [solemnly getting his lightsaber and a flask out of a storage trunk] I knew a quiet afterlife was too much to hope for. Force, I just hope Maul’s not still alive. 

i cant wait for dnp to get married and make a golden future for themselves just… lying in bed wrapped in soft blankets and love warmer than anything listening to quiet music and watching the clouds move by their window bc they have to be floating at this point..

ok i have been seeing a lot of misinformation about harry potter couples? so here’s the real deal

harry and draco are boyfriends and also harry is a bisexual

luna and ginny are obviously married, and they hang out with harry and draco all the time

hermione and ron are still canon but are in a poly relationship with pansy parkinson

neville is ace af so leave my poor plant boy alone

also dean and seamus are together but i’m pretty sure that was canon so it doesn’t need repeating

blaise and theo are being aesthetic boyfriends ™ over in france

remus lupin is also bisexual and is having a great time in the afterlife with his literal wife and also that sneaky dog sirius black

also in the afterlife: lily and james are the only canon couple i truly support w all my heart. pure young adults that died too soon but they get to hang in heaven and look down at harry being happy and livin’ his best life

  • Sirius: Holy shit you're so beautiful, will you marry me?
  • Remus: We've literally been married for 6 years, please stop doing this.

anyway i love sophie hatter’s impulsive ass. i havent seen the movie in a little while but my literal favorite thing about the book is how she’s Meek Mouse Anxiety Central as a young woman and then the second – literally WITHIN MAYBE THREE PAGES? – of when she hits 90 she’s just like I Do What I Want and absolutely stops giving one single damn which leads to a lot of catastrophic decisions and she keeps messing up and being like “oh no that was mean… but im old so who cares!”

im in the dwj Question And Answer thing at the end of the book and she talks about magic:

Magic is not easy, although it seems it should be. You have to think through carefully what you need your magic to do, otherwise some tiny spell might have disastrous consequences. For instance, if you were to make two and two add up to three instead of four you would change the way the whole universe works and it is quite possible that everyone would die of it. So you have to make your magic very precise. Howl knows this, and so does Calcifer, but Sophie is not always so careful.

like shit! damn! sophie hatter, POSSIBLE DESTROYER OF WORLDS! just an ordinary eldest daughter of a milliner’s from market chipping!

okay so my genius of a best friend just pretty much figured out what the hell just happened: stefan died and gave the cure to damon, obviously. delena got married and there was like a time jump or something to when they were walking down the street and damon just disappeared, that’s when damon died. then, elena sees the house and her family and that’s a sign that she died and basically all 3 of them died over a period of time and i am so at peace with that. the three main characters of this show being gone by the end without having the other characters mourn over it and go on with their lives and stefan has a lot to do with it. it also proves that no matter what damon goes back to stefan no matter what. it ALSO proves that stefan is for sure the main character of this freaking show because he started all of these characters lives and how they turned around mystic falls.
i don’t know but after this i’m satisfied with how the finale went down and i sobbed my eyes out the whole time.
ALSO BONNIE FREAKING BENNETT IS FINALLY HAPPY AND LIFE IS GOING GOOD FOR HER GOOD NIGHT.

lice stans are reaching so hard,,,, ive seen so many people posting about how the last episode was ‘so cute1! 1! 2’ bc jug and betty were married but?? jug deadass looked like he wanted to die?? i don’t get it,,,, in what world is being married to betty being canonically part of jug’s nightmare a good thing for either of them lmao

Old People: “Fucking immigrants.  Taking our jobs, not speaking proper english.  Go back to your own damn country.  Only true americans like me can live here.”

Old People: “I don’t want gays to get married.  It makes me uncomfortable, even though it has absolutely nothing to do with me.”

Old People: “What’s with all this love for trans people all of a sudden?  It’s like an epidemic!  God made you one way…at least that’s what I believe, and what I believe is always right.”

Young Person: *posts a selfie*

Old People: “Ugh your generation is so entitled.  The most narcissistic and selfish generation ever.”

ransom and holster get married the summer before their senior year
  • they decide not to change their names
    • birkholtz-oluransi is way too long for a jersey
    • so is oluransi-birkholtz obviously
    • also, two players with the same last name on the same line who are both captains? too confusing.
    • ransom has to fill out med school entrance exams and there are never enough boxes that he’d be able to put birkholtz-oluransi
      • sometimes he has to be O L U R A N S, J U S T I N
  • they obviously got married at niagara falls. they send pics to the grouptext and post them all over facebook
    • but
    • they forget to mention the marriage part
    • they’re so excited about all the other stuff they did that they just. forget
    • there are pictures from the actual wedding on the actual boat that goes under the falls
    • but they don’t send any of the ceremony just of them being incredibly happy, which is, honestly, not out of the ordinary
  • they asked the whole team to come up but they never explicitly said Come To Niagara Falls For Our Actual Wedding, just ‘hey you guys should all come up !!’
  • they wear their rings but after holster got a weird bruise on his hand from the ring when his hand got trapped between his body and the boards in their first practice, they wear them on necklaces
  • everyone knew they were gonna live together after graduation
  • the first time the guys realize they’re together, like a couple, never mind married is when they post a pic, kissing, showing off their rings, captioned ‘so grateful we get to be together for the rest of their lives’
    • the team is like CONGRATS BROS!!!! 
      • the guys all think r&h have just gotten engaged
      • but no one says the words ‘engaged’ or ‘married’ or ‘wedding’
      • so ransom and holster are like ‘thanks!!’ and they don’t say ‘it’s our first anniversary’ because they think everyone already knows that
      • bitty is internally like ‘do they know their rings are on the wrong hand!!! do i tell them????!!!!???’
  • eventually the guys are like ‘damn this is a long-ass engagement’
    • whiskey and tango have gotten together gotten married and adopted a child and ransom and holster are still engaged
    • chowder and farmer have three children and farmer got a master’s, a phd, and the first authorship on the discovery of a new kind of whale and ransom and holster are still engaged
    • they must be waiting until ransom’s got a solid position in his hospital and holtz is out of the nhl (it’s gotten better with lgbt athletes, what with jack and kent and a couple others, but it’s still not great, and holster’s good but not a wunderkind like jack or kent, so his being publicly gay might be messy)
  • the guys don’t actually figure out that ransom and holster are married until ten years after the fact
    • r&h invite everybody out to seattle for their tenth anniversary
    • everyone goes even though they’re like ‘uh. anniversaries are usually for weddings not engagements. but whatever these are our bros and we support them’
    • shitty gives them a bunch of tin and tells them to appropriate WASP marriage culture (bc, u know, one is Black, one is Jewish, neither of them are married)
    • lardo’s like ‘also it’s your ninth?? shitty’s getting tenth reunion emails, our tenth reunion and thus your tenth anniversary won’t be until next summer’
    • tango’s just like ‘are you guys ever gonna get married??’
  • ransom and holster are very confused
    • uh guys??? you know we’re married right?
    • i mean we’re not as Married TM as jack and bitty or god forbid chowder and farmer but… we are. definitely married
    • we’ve been married for a decade
    • we call each other our husbands
  • everyone: ‘WHAT THE FUCK WHEN DID YOU GET MARRIED????’
    • ‘i mean…. it’s in the title….. it’s our tenth anniversary…. so……. ten years ago’
  • bitty, shocked and horrified: ‘you didn”T INVITE ME TO YOUR WEDDING????????’
    • rans: ‘bro we did’
    • bitty: ‘you most certainly did not!’
    • holtz: ‘we invited all you guys?’
    • everyone: ‘lies, we never got invited to any wedding’
    • ‘we invited everyone up to niagara over the summer? nobody came which was kind of a bummer honestly’
  • lardo, who has been silently rethinking life: ‘but that means you would have been married our entire senior year’
    • holster: ‘you are not wrong’
    • ransom: ‘why did you think all the married students housing applications kept being delivered to the haus’
    • dex: ‘nursey and i were pretty sure it was because of chowder’
    • chowder: ‘i didn’t get married THAT early’
  • ransom and holster are forced to resort to pulling out their actual legal marriage certificates
    • both of them
    • from two countries
  • shitty needs to sit down and reevaluate his entire life
  • bitty is mortified that he never made them a wedding cake or a marriage pie or anything
  • whiskey walks in late to the discussion because he was changing his and tango’s daughter’s diaper
    • he silently hands over a card. it just says ‘happy ten years. niagara has never seen a stronger love’
    • whiskey has been fully aware that ransom and holster were married. 
    • for a decade.
  • he was actually their legal witness.
    • because he was the only one who shOWED UP THAT WEEKEND
    • he wasn’t even on the team
    • he still doesn’t know how he got added to the grouptext
    • he just showed up because he thought it was some kind of team bonding thing
    • his cousin john said he should go, said it would be ‘narratively entertaining’


tl;dr: ransom and holster got married and managed to accidentally not tell anyone on smh for ten entire years

brought to you in part by @the-strangest-sea

My sherlolly fic rec

ATTENTION PLEASE

THIS is my small precious treasure I discovered through the past year I watched Sherlock BBC by coincidence.

AND WHAT A WONDERFUL COINSIDENCE!

Now, if you are new in reading fan fics in general or sherlolly fics here’s what you are going to do:

1) take some ME time for yourself, you deserve it.

2) choose a nice quiet place and take your mob or lap with you.

3) have a cup of your favourite beverage and relaaaax.

4) choose one of these diamonds and buckle up for the sweet journey of addiction.

5) Don’t forget to leave kudos and comments for the amazing authors who gifted us these masterpieces.

6) start your own route and read more.

Now if you are one of the old fans who’s been here from the beginning and you’ve probably read most of them already here’s what you’re going to do:

look instructions 1-2-3 from the new fan guide.

4) pick your favorite(s) and read it (them) again, yes, I know it’s been a long time since you did.

5) enjoy your time with every word like you did the first time.

6) if you already left a kudos before leave a comment.

7) if you already left a comment before leave another one telling them how much you still love it.

Note: they mostly contain angst but I garantee you a big fat smile and happy tears in the end of each one.

To win her heart

you know the kind of story you want to read and hug each single day? This is that kind

Hello my old heart

Perfection … just perfection

moonlight

A big fat hug for the sherlollians in shape of story

With eyes shut tight

just one word quoted from the wise author: uuughh

Catching a runaway bride

read it more than I’m willing to admit

Marry me, obviously

the most beautiful story I read inspired from TAB

my true love gave to me

Soooo cute

Out of their hands

another amazing victorian fic

The new doctor

if you like strong independent Molly Hooper I give you the perfect fic

for you alone

can’t describe the awsomeness with words

Her last bow

Embedded

You can read these two fics together or individual but you will fall for them in any case

away faraway

How I always thought sherlolly would begin and end and the author did an amazing job drawing it with words

always something

The lovely classic fic

Opinions

I can imagine every character voice saying every word like in a talk show amazing work

Slowly drifting

So lovely!!

The lost girl

Finished or not this is GOLD! I check it every couple of weeks maybe the author will have mercy on us and complete it but I’m in peace with how it’s right now you won’t regret reading it for a second

What do we know of love?

The sweetest of them all

unlawful imprisonment

I laughed hard reading it

Bright are the stars that shine

The freaking KISS

Through the grey

SherlolliShots - The Lover’s Mark

For the soulmate lovers here are two works to love it more

Cornerstone

The beekeeper

The two bittersweet closest to my heart

WARNING!

The rest have some *uhm* you know sort of *ahem* things if you have a problem with that like me you can skip those chapters like I did or whatever suitable *awkward blinking* but the stories are really really reaaaally good

The full house

EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE

For what it’s worth

The masterpiece of them all!!!

How to play a game called murder

The perfect amount of everything in one story

The truth will set you free

Fluff fluffy fluffness (not really a …. but well … you will know when you read)

The resident attachment

Another perfect victorian fic

The bridesmaid and the groom

love it love it love it