I could give this a straight up answer, or reply with some exasperated gif, but there’s been so much talk around this topic recently I’m just going to say my piece and wait for the fall out. I haven’t elaborated really on what I think yet because if I anything I said was misconstrued in anyway I don’t think I could live with myself; but anyway, brace yourself kids this could get long.
When it comes to Cosima, I pretty much live by this quote:
“Cosima grew up in the Bay Area, in a permissive community and a progressive home fostering intellectual and social tolerance. She learned to approach sexuality without shame, with curiosity. I think Cosima’s been “bisexual” (if you had to codify it), but maybe she’s ready to self-identify as gay. She would defend her freedom to choose, no matter where nature placed her in the spectrum.” (Source x)
I’ve seen people attack John and Graeme and accuse them of being biphobic, which couldn’t possibly be further from the truth.
Whilst the Tat and creators have talked about it, Cosima herself never explicitly labels her sexuality, and I don’t think she needs to. When Rachel says “So you’re gay” she neither denies or corrects her, just makes the point that it doesn’t matter. It’s not who she is, she is in no way defined by it. Similarly when Felix makes the whole “I smell lesbians” crack, she simply emphasises that whatever’s going on in her heart right now, it’s nothing she’s going to ever apologise for. I don’t believe she was deflecting or avoiding these questions, but correcting them would most likely involve having to class herself as something more specific.
However broad the term a person may choose to label themself with is, there is always a point where it will have it’s restrictions. Whether that’s in their own mind or the mind of others. I don’t think Cosima wants to confine herself to that, hence why she doesn’t. She is entirely too full a character to want to be constrained in anyway. She is completely aware of how vast a spectrum sexuality is, and I’m quite sure she finds the entire range of love and affection utterly beautiful.
Personally labelling myself makes me very uncomfortable, and however many terms we have I think sexuality is entirely too fluid and individual to boil down to those, although I totally accept some people can feel almost lost without the definition and need that clarity which is totally fine too.
This is why I adore Cosima and her freedom to express and choose where she wants to, it’s something I can relate to very strongly.
Cosima loves people. She loves in character and whatever nurtured those traits into being. The good and the bad and the way it bundles together and falls into the shape of whoever is before her. She loves in the spaces between words and interwoven strings of syllables that may choose to fill them. She is so grounded, with her preference to be barefoot and her affinity for nature, her passion for science and the patterns that can be found within it filled with vacillations or resolution, and the way she becomes Delphine’s total and utter integrity. Her sexuality is the thing that’s balances out how beautiful solid she is in it’s fluidity. It’s personal and undefined and ultimately only matters to her, as it should.
The reason I love her so much is because of the ideal she represents of what is is to love so completely selflessly and whole-heartedly. It’s not the physicality of who she loves that matters, but the way she loves them. In every dip and curve and scar and the freckle and the ability to see a person for who they are, not what.