No. I won’t accept it. After all these years, He can’t just suddenly pretend to care. We’re not friends anymore. He ruined our friendship.
“Anymore? What do you mean anymore?” Chris came up to me closer the distance I had set between us. I swallowed hard as I stumbled on my words.
“Wha-What? What are you talking about?”
“You said anymore. I know you, don’t I?” He held my wrist staring into my eyes.
I regained my anger and strength pulling away from him. “No you don’t! If you really knew me-”
My lip quivered and I took a deep breath before continuing.
“You would know.” I spoke. He didn’t realize it but those three little words held so much more meaning than assumed. If he really knew me, he would remember me and our friendship and how much he wrecked me worst than the rest of them.
But he didn’t. And I don’t think he ever will. Which angered me even more.
“So do me and yourself a favor. Don’t touch me or approach me again.” I spat turning on my heel.
“Whatever. You bitter old bitch!”
On impulse, I turned around and my hand came in contact with his cheek. His cheek turned red and my hand started to sting from the slap. My heart stopped at what I had just did. I smacked Chris. I never laid hands on Chris in that manner.
“I’m not bitter and I’m not a bitch! I’m mad as hell!” I snapped at him and walking back to my property to prevent myself crying in front of that dipshit I once called my best friend. Chris would never call me out of my name unless it was Pikachu, the cute nickname he had for me. But never a bitch. It honestly hurt me to the core that this is how we are now. However, it didn’t hurt me that long.
It’s not my fault. It’s his.
The next day, I dressed in my crimson Obey crewneck, black and white tribal print leggings and black combat boots with a black beanie on my head. I walked into homeroom busy on my phone and jamming to Looking Ass Niggas by Nicki Minaj. Looking up, I smiled at the relavance of the song at this moment. Chris and his bitchass crew. I felt a tap on my shoulder and almost clocked the person but saw my annoying ass homeroom teacher. She did a motion meaning to remove my earbuds. I paused my music and pulled them out.
“Beanie too. School rules.” Her grating voice stated.
I rolled my eyes taking off my beanie and made my way to my seat when I heard a wolf whistle. August was looking me up and down biting his bottom lip as Chris watched what would go down.
“Damn Ma, you looking extra fine today. You should slide me them digits.” August casually slid his phone into my hand. I smiled and handed him back his phone.
“And you should go die in a hole.”
August stood there offended as Chris laughed at what I had just said. I felt Chris grab my wrist and before I could react, he slid a gold bangle on it. I landed my eyes on Chris in confusion. By his expression, I could tell he expected me to go off.
“You dropped that in my driveway. I tried to give it to you but you walked away fast.” He explained in a soft tone.
I swallowed hard as every fiber of my being was screaming “Remember me! I’m Karrueche! We were best friends in middle school! I’m your Pikachu!” But instead, I said:
“Thank you and I’m sorry for the slap.”
Chris flashed his winning smile. “It’s cool, baby girl. I disrespected you.”
I felt my lips tug up to form a smile but my anger towards him came back real quick.
“Yeah, don’t let that shit happen again.” I spat rolling my eyes and walking away.
Luckily, I didn’t have that many classes with those idiots and if I did, I wouldn’t have to deal with their basicness. When lunch time came around, I went to the cafe to grab my lunch and scanned the area. To be honest, this is when having no friends really suck. I usually just sit at an empty table and people would just sit with me but we wouldn’t talk. I looked over at Chris’s table where they were clowning as always. Part of me yearned to sit there but the other part didn’t care.
“Kae, come sit here!” A girl’s voice shouted.
I looked over to see Honey waving.me towards her table. I went over to her and sat down. She smiled at me.
“Hey girl!” Her greeting was friendly and warm.
I smiled. “Hey.”
Honey gasped. “Girl, I’m not trying to be on any gay shit but you got a really pretty smile.”
I smiled more blushing. “Really?”
“Yeah! But it’s a damn shame I barely see it.” Honey shook her head then looked over at Chris’s table. “Because of those fuckers.”
“How are you not angry? They made our lives hell.” I asked as Honey took a sip of her water bottle. She put the bottle down and wiped her lips.
“I was. I was mad as hell. But i decided to get over it because staying mad doesn’t hurt anyone but myself.”
I nodded understanding what she said. “Fuck that. I want them to be hurt like they hurt me.”
Honey laughed. “The revenge card. I see you.” Honey looked towards the doors and then back at me.
“Wanna go outside? I don’t want to stay here.”
I swallowed my bite of apple. “Sure.”
We stood up and discarded our trash in the trashbin. We made it outside to cliques chilling and talking. Honey ran up to a couple of a tall darkskinned guy and a lightskin girl with blue hair. I noticed it was Trell. One of my bullies. I stayed behind and began going through my phone. Honey may be ready to forgive-
But I’m sure as hell not.
I didn’t tell Kae this but the reason why I didn’t want to stay in the cafe is because Tyga’s creeping ass was staring mad hard. That fool needs to put his eyeballs back in.his head if he wants to keep them. Yes, I forgave but I didn’t forget shit.
Heather smiled seeing me arrive. “Hey Honey girl!”
I hugged her tight. “Hey Blue Ivy.”
Heather was my girl but due to the bad past I had with her boyfriend Trell, I tried to ignore her as much as possible. Now I’m tired of that.
“Baby girl where have you been?” Heather questioned releasing me from the hug. I looked over at Trell and pointed at him.
“Because of him!” I stated playfully yet seriously at the same time.
Trell chuckled rubbing his chin. “Still mad about Freshman year?”
Heather stood there puzzled.looking between us. “What happened?”
“I use to tease her a little.”
“A little?” I crossed my arms kinking my eyebrows.
“A lot and I’m sorry.” Trell apologized and I smiled. I turned to see Kae had disappeared. She was standing a corner texting. I grabbed Heather’s wrist.
“Come. I want you to meet someone.”
I led Heather to Kae who looked up from her phone scoweling. Heather scrunched up her nose and looked at me.
“Her? Seriously? I already met her and she’s a rude ass bitch.”
Kae stuck her middle finger at Heather. “Fuck you.” And began to walk away but I stopped her.
“Kae, wait. ” I looked at Heather. “Come on, Blue. She’s really cool, funny, and sweet. She’s been hurt a lot. That’s why she’s a raging bitch.”.
Kae scoffed looking at me in disapproval.
“It’s true.” I defended staring at her as she rolled her eyes.
Heather spoke up. “Baby girl, I’m sorry you got hurt but it’s not my fault or Amber’s. You ain’t gotta be rude. But i get where you’re coming from.”
Kae’s hard expression softened as she uncrossed her arms.
“I’ve just been hurt too much.”
Heather’s face softened as she hugged Kae. It made me smile seeing that Kae stopped being mad at everyone. All three of us began talking when Tyga came up to us.
“Hey Honey. You looking fine.”
I looked him up and down. “And you don’t so swerve boo.”
I got up and walked away feeling myself. Who the fuck does Ty think he is? He was the worst of my bullies. I had a major crush on him back then but he didn’t give a fuck about me.
It’s funny how the roles are reversed now.
To Blueberry Bae:
Aight bae about to go sleep. :*
Heather quickly replied:
From Blueberry Bae:
Sweet Dreams, Papi :*
I smiled at my phone and locked it placing my earphones into the jack. After lunch, I got study hall.at the moment, I’m trying to get comfortable in my seat in study hall, which was difficult due to the fact this school had some cheap ass plastic chairs that swing back and forth. Study hall was whack as fuck but It’s my oppurtunity to catch some Z’s.
The old gray haired white teacher spoke up in a some European accent.
“Alright you know the deal. I’ll call attendence and you guys say here if you’re here and nothing if you’re not.” He began to let out a weird ass laugh as the whole study room remained. I had to take a sip of my water because that joke was too dry.
Jasmine walked into study casually as if her lightskin ass is not late. The study teacher laid his pale blue eyes on Jasmine.
“Young lady, you’re late.” He stated in disapproval.
Jasmine gave him her wicked half smile that makes her resemble a witch and got in his face.
“But I’m here, sir.”
Some students snickered and others went “Ooh!” And the rest said “Kill em! Feeling satisfied with herself, Jasmine went up to the back, pushed my feet on the chair, and sat down.
I sat up looking at her. “Did I say your lightskin ass can sit here?”
Jasmine smirked. “Didn’t have to. So tell me what to do to get Chris to like me?”
I shook my head placing my black Beats earphones into my ears. “Oh so you do want me to hook y’all up?”
Jasmine rolled her eyes like that answer I gave her was false.
“No. That’s gonna make me look desperate. And I don’t do desperate.”
“Shh!” The study teacher shushed us. “I’m about to take attendance.”
“Then do it.” Jasmine turned back to me. “So what turns him on?”
“What’s in it for me?”
“I won’t tell my sister about how we lost our virginities to each other sophomore year!” She whispered harshly but smirking.
I scoffed shaking my head. “You’re a foul ass bitch, Jas. That was 2 years ago. I didn’t even know Heather. We vowed to forget that ever happened.”
She pursed her bright pink lips. “Well if you dont help me, I’ll suddenly remember.”
I sighed irritated that I was not going to take my nap and sat up.
“What do you want to know?"
I furrowed my eyebrows mugging her as she walked away. What’s her deal? How is she gonna just give me an apology then an attitude. Damn Karrueche. Yeah I can pronounce her weird ass name because I swear I’ve heard it before. The question is……How?
August nudged my side knocking me out of my thoughts of Karrueche.
"Yo what was that about?” He questioned looking back at her then at me.
I sucked my teeth. “If your nosy ass must know, she’s my neighbor and she dropped her gold bracelet in my front yard.
“Good. I need to make sure you and my bae ain’t got anything going on.” August replied more relaxed.
I squinted my eyes at her. “Ain’t nobody want her rude ass and Nigga, she ain’t your bae. She don’t want you.”
August smirked stupidly. “Not yet.”
I shook my head and waited until the first period rang. All my periods were live even lunch. At lunch, it’s usually me, Trell, Trey, and Tyga because August got a different lunch. Our small square table only held 4 people. In mid conversation, Heather came up to our table.
“Heather!” Ty yelled getting up and hugging her causing Trell to stand up and break it up.
“Hey that’s my girl. Go holla at Honey. I’ll see y’all later. Deuces!” Trell chucked up a deuce with his arm around Heather walking out of the glass doors. Trey began texting under the table because it isn’t allowed and Tyga was staring hard at some table.
“Ty! Who tf are you staring at?”
Tyga turned around sucking his teeth and pointing. “Honey’s whack ass! Damn I want her bad.”
I laughed and looked over to the table that contained Honey and some other girl. They were laughing and I realized that it wasn’t some girl. It was Karrueche. Smiling and blushing. The first time I’ve seen her smile. Damn she looks so damn beautiful when she’s not being rude and ready to kill someone.
Karrueche and Honey got up and threw away their food and I felt Ty snapping his fingers in my face.
“Nigga, I know damn well you ain’t staring at Honey! I called dibs on that.” Ty snapped mugging the shit out of me.
“Ty, Shut the fuck up. No one was looking at Honey.” I looked over as the girls walked out of the doors.
***************** Shit, shit, shit. I’m late to Oceanography. I’m usually late to class but a nigga is beyond late. I know Mr. Walker is gonna rash a nigga, i know his white ass is.
I slowly opened the classroom door and prayed that he wasn’t in the middle of talking. His back was towards the class and I snuck inside making my way towards my seat.
Mr. Walker dropped the chalk on the ledge and turned around crossing his arms.
“Chris, you’re late.”
I threw a little tantrum. “Damn Mr. Walker. Whatchu got, eyes behind your head?”
“Yes and where is your ID?” He questioned turning all the negative attention on me.
“You see OG’s don’t wear ID’S.” I sat back as the rest of the class erupted in laughter.
“Wear your ID.”
I groaned and pulled my ID over my head and around my neck.
“Like I was saying, Senior Science Fair!”
We all groaned and he continued.
“Stop complaining. I had to pick partners.” He scoffed sitting down at his computer and logged in. “Ok Sean, you’re with Naya.”
Sean, a dark skinned guy, sucked his teeth. “Nigga got me working with this hoe.”
I laughed and continued texting on my phone. Shit’s funny as hell when exes gotta work together.
“Chris, you’re with…….”
I crossed my fingers and quietly prayed. “Please no weirdos. Please no weirdos.”
“There it is. Chris, you’re working with Karrueche.”
I uncrossed my fingers and opened my eyes. I made eye contact with Karrueche who rolled her eyes and continued texting on her phone. Karrueche’s my partner?
It’s pouring down rain in LA. It hasn’t rained in months, and it decides to rain right as you go on a bike ride with your dog. The rain coats your body like a dirty, lukewarm shower. Steam rises off the sunbaked concrete like thin smoke. You’d been on the bike ride for a whole hour and had gone really far away from your apartment in Pasadena. You found yourself all the way to the North East side, too far from home. You have nowhere to go. Taking your wet phone out of your pocket, your hands shake to dial Nash- the guy you’d been seeing for about a month now- and ask if you can come to his place. He’s only about 5 minutes away from where you’re standing right now. He agrees to let you come over, all the while teasing you for not checking the forecast. You make your way over to his place and throw your bike down in the driveway, picking your little dog up off the ground and running to the cover of the awning over the front door. You rap loudly on the door of Nash’s apartment and he answers almost immediately. Your dog bolts inside. His eyes look you up and down, your drenched hair, your smeared makeup, you absolute mess. “Get inside,” he says with a laugh.
He takes you to the shower and turns it on for you. You thank him and apologize over and over, but he won’t have it. While you’re in the shower, he leaves a flannel and soft pair of sweatpants on the sink.
“Shit,” he thinks as he closes the door. He suddenly realizes what he’s doing. “She’s the love of my life.”
The two of you sit on the edge of a fountain in front of Two California Plaza, a huge skyscraper in downtown LA. The city buzzes about, and all sorts of people pass you two buy. You take a bite of the ice cream you two had ordered to split. Cameron opens his mouth, “Y/N, there’s something I really need to tell you.” His words intrigue you, but he’s cut off by a loud cracking sound. You look up, and see pieces of glass falling out of the 16th, 17th, and 18th story windows. You scream, grabbing Cameron’s arm. As you begin to run away to avoid the cracking glass, you notice something odd. A small toddler dressed in pink, no more than 12 months, sits unattended in a stroller. You can’t leave her. “Go, Cam, just run away,” you tell your boyfriend before turning around. You make your way back to the sweet baby girl through a crowd of shrieking people. The little girl screams with the people, the mass hysteria breaking into everyone’s nervous systems. Your hands unfasten the baby from the stroller and pick her up, fast. You begin to bolt back to Cameron, where he stands safely, a good 500 feet away from the fountain. As soon as you move from the stroller, a shard of glass clatters to the ground where you stood. Cameron takes the baby from your arms, and even though he doesn’t say it, he feels it. You sacrificed your life for a stranger’s baby. “That’s my girl,” he thinks, “I love her.
You’re standing on the red carpet, camera bulbs flashing in your face, blinding you. Your boyfriend, Shawn, grabs your waist and pulls you closer for a picture. The red carpet of the VMAs lies beneath your feet. You’d agreed to accompany Shawn to the event- he was being nominated for Video of the Year and he wanted you there to support him. "Shawn! Shawn Mendes! Shawn!” his name is hurled from the throats of hundreds of girls lining the red carpet. Your peripheral vision sees something odd, forcing your attention to drift away.You see two girls being shoved into the metal fence that bars the crowds from accessing the red carpet. Crazy fans are pushing the two forward, to the point where they look in pain. Security immediately rushes over to castigate the two girls for causing the shoving- when really it was the girls behind them. Having seen what happened, you just couldn’t let those two girls take the weight. You rush over and explain the situation to the security guard. The two girls are crying; they only wanted to see Shawn. You let to two girls come past the metal fence and meet Shawn personally.
After the VMAs, Shawn asked you why the two girls were allowed beyond the fence and you casually explain the situation before shutting out the light to go to bed.
In the dark, under the covers, lying next to you, Shawn realizes he’s lying next to the kindest woman in the world.
It’s a rainy March day in Omaha, Nebraska. You walk into class with no makeup on, sweatpants, a comfy Obey crewneck sweatshirt, and your hair tied back in a ponytail. Your butt plants itself right next to Jack, your boyfriend of seven months. He’d been getting pretty famous lately, touring with Magcon and making vines.
As class goes on, you hear two sophomore girls begin to snicker behind you. Their words pass between each other like evil little snakes. You can hear the shallow things they’re saying, but pretend not to hear.
“She’s fucking gross.”
“He’s a 10 and she’s a solid 5. I didn’t know hot guys liked thunderthighs.”
You try to ignore them, but eventually you can’t take it anymore. The bell rings, but you don’t leave you turn around and set your eyes on the two girls, who give you a condescending look.
“Who the hell do you think you are?” you say. Your voice rattles through the room, freezing every moving body. The girls stop. “I didn’t ask for your approval, and neither did Jack. If you’re so good and perfect and pretty, why aren’t you dating Jack? Oh, that’s right. You’re shallow as hell. I’m fucking beautiful. Stop wasting your breath, I never asked for you to speak.”
You pick up your backpack, grab Jack’s hand, and exit the classroom with your head held high.
Jack put his arm around your shoulder, and for the first time he realizes why he’s so into you. You fight your own battles.